about, you know, for example, the american rescue plan. legislation to deal with inflation. the inflation act. we've moved along. so much has been accomplished. >> laura: so much has been accomplished. but i need the cards to remember at all. that's it for us tonight. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. we watched so you didn't have to. ♪ ♪ >> greg: here we go. a real treat. you are in for a treat. happy tuesday, yeah. it's october 11, 2022. which means it's time for... if it happens up there, we report down here. >> you are watching guzumbagate.

canada. 2023. week 4. >> greg: as you know we are the only show that keeps diligent tabs on the ontario transgender teacher. i'm not sure what that says about us but we're just trying to keep you abreast. a recap. she, once that he began identifying as female last year and started wearing massive prosthetic arrests tri breasts . if there is a shop class that requires protective goggles, this is it. the shop class teacher wearing super jumbo prosthetic breasts. in the unlikely event of a water emergency landing your shop teacher can be used as a flotation device. none of that appeared on

"special report. maybe it's because bret is more of a legged man. welcome to canada. you can't spell identity without "tity." canada, throw a wool cap on those before somebody gets hurt. we are trying to tackle this with some measure of professionalism. 68 triple d. i apologize that we have got you seeing double. what's happened since our last report? actually not a lot. still no interview with the teacher. you'd think she'd want to get this off her chest. even i hate that one. granted, news travels slow from a third world country like canada but we still don't know if this is indeed a real thing, print, or a prank gone wrong. it could very well be as kat predicted, a game of chicken.

colonel sanders would marvel at the size of those breasts. i feel dirty. it could be a teachers of the woke b.s., decided to see how far he or she could push it and the school and responses sure, we'll play along. now the teacher is stuck wearing fake breasts the size of minneapolis and st. paul. i have heard of tit for tat but in this case her cups runneth over. part of me is dying inside, can you see it. there might be a bigger reason why no one's talking and not because they were motor boded into silence. it's that even mentioning the teacher's clothing is discrimination so everyone plays it safe, avoiding truth and is steadily expressing support for people of all gender identities and expressions because anything else could get you sued. one expert points out discrimination we even occur when addressing the matter the ontario human rights tribunal

which has broad powers especially over this broad and can award damages based on injury to dignity, self-respect, even feelings. nothing about lower back pain. it's good to see free speech is alive and well in the people's republic of china know. all of this feels a little scamming. planned parenthood ran a recent video promoting the use of puberty blockers for children who might experience gender confusion. >> if you are transgender or nonbinary you may find your puberty experiences don't line up with their gender identity or how you see yourself. that feeling can be uncomfortable, scary, and stressful. if that sounds like you, know that you're not alone. there are medicines you can take to delay puberty for a while. they're called puberty blockers. >> greg: planned parenthood can't get you in the womb, they will get you when you get out but i guess as a portions

decline that are diversified. meanwhile a harvard hospital which performed what they called gender affirmation surgery contends that babies can know they are transgender in the womb. even the dumb ones who end up going to yale. >> most of the patient is that we have in the clinic know theyd gender around the age of puberty but a good portion do know as early as seemingly from the woman they will usually express their gender identity is very young children, some as soon as they can talk. >> greg: never trust a doctor who talks like a 15-year-old valley girl. how do you know they know? did you look at a sonogram and see a fetus pointing to his penis and shaking his head no? vanderbilt university suspended trance surgeries for kids after the department had boasted of it being a cash cow. saying these surgeries make a lot of money charging female to

male chest reconstruction. gender reassignment surgeries could sponsor an entire clinic. no wonder you find gender reassignment centers sponsoring halloween parties for children. that would make for a confusing maker who are you supposed to be? this isn't the costume. these [bleep] are real now hand over the twix. it's not just about identity. it's about profit. create the idea is a problem and offer the solution. incentivize doctors to find. there are legit trance but this exploded in gender precariousness suggests something else. rather than seriously addressing people with dysphoria it is just a moneymaking fad with permanent repercussions. for every healthy organ removed doctor gets new hair plugs. the kids don't stand a chance especially when they see the attention they get from this.

that's a payoff. activists and therapists cultivate the validation. parents are sucked into a consequential crisis. kids are literally scarred for life. no parent believes there healthy child needs to have their removed. my dad did once when i spilled paint in the garage. it is such an insane thought that the specialist have to overwhelm them with fear you're not affirming your child. everybody keeps the tight-lipped and don't talk about it. don't talk about the male inmates in female jails are male athletes winning female sports and don't bring up the teacher with giant boobs. what else can they get you to believe? i think we're going to remember this moment is pretty important. i am definitely going to look back at this to see how i used it to look male. let's welcome tonight's guests. she's the slap who won't take

any crap. mercedes schlapp. he does physical therapy jiffy lube. johnny joey jones. she is so bony, her elbow has an elbow. fox news contributor kat timpf. you can't walk a mile issues but you can use them for sheltering in place. my massive sidekick and the n.w.a. world television champion, tyrus. joey, have you been on the show and we have covered this? i can't remember this is the first time. >> joey: it's my first time. i am honored to be here to discuss this memory calamity. >> greg: it is the fourth time we have covered this. i don't know if we are progress.

nobody is interviewing this person. if it is real, it is somebody with a serious psychological problem. if it's not real that it's an amazing prank. everybody is too scared to say anything. >> joey: i'm going to treat it like it's real and crazy. i want so much to be mad at this person. as a guy who makes things out of wood and a guy who's lost limbs in life, i am scared to death when i hit my miter saw or do anything with the saw and he is just up there wheeling and dealing. >> greg: she. she is up there. >> joey: i identify as a person who sees that person is a man. >> greg: okay. >> joey: i apologize. it's the woodworking. >> greg: it is amazing that she has a woodworking job and this can't be safe.

right? >> joey: you can't show kids how to do it safely with two giant fake [bleep] rolling around. it's an unsafe thing to do. that's how you identify, you've got the wrong job purely of dress codes and high schools because kids hormones are raging so much that they can't control it. you roll up into a high school shop class like that, your child abuser. >> greg: maybe it's a dream i have that this person is a genius. this is the longest con ever and the school is like okay. like kat said, they're just going with it. >> mercedes: i'm really concerned that you are obsessed with this topic. in fact, the last time i was on the show we did talk about it. i remember this. i really think you should think about this is a documentary

series. taken on the road. show up to the school and ask for an interview and say where did you get those join norma's prosthetic boobs. can you order those online? they should have a warning that says don't catering the -- don't get near machinery. you have to wonder if they have water in them. >> greg: that would be like 200 pounds. >> kat: minor on the way. we'll find out. >> greg: i'm too lazy to do investigative journalism. >> mercedes: kat would be perfect. >> greg: would you go? i'll give you time off of work. >> kat: i don't think that his time off. if it was off i would choose another activity. >> greg: that's true. you should go there. have never been to canada? i hear it's nice. >> kat: yeah, i am from detroit. it's pretty close. you can go there accidentally.

>> greg: have your thoughts about this evolved? >> kat: people don't want to talk about any of this stuff. >> greg: i do. >> kat: you do. i get it. this is such a highbrow show. >> greg: should've seen the stuff that we bumped. >> kat: even if you take the trans-angle out of it, you can sail truly strange some of this is. the advertisement for the puberty blockers, when you ever see any kind of drug ever marketed to kids? children's benadryl. it's not like hey, kids, do you want and not out tonight? how much money the surgeries are making. imagine if any other surgery at any other hospital, these toddler heart surgeries are raking in the dough. put a sundae bar in the cafeteria. people will be openly outraged. this kind of stuff can happen

and no one says anything. >> joey: they didn't use their money for the football team. >> kat: i don't understand sports. >> greg: it's funny because kat is right. if you had a child expressed a different gender characteristic and you said -- you sent them to exodus, the place that dehomosexualizes you, you'd be considered a bigot but here it's okay. >> tyrus: it's okay with them. it's not okay with the families. they wouldn't do these commercials. it would just be a doctor's appointment and they would say here are these options. that's not what this is really about. when i first heard the story my thought was it's a good teacher. the magic word is determination. this termination is a good thing sometimes. it is. if you want to have giants be 27s, go to town but you need to

be covered appropriately. the thing i miss the first time. a fan sent me something is have the nipples are the issue. it's not that he wanted to have breasts, it was the fact that he had to take it to the next level in terms of your teacher, there is decorum. if that was a regular organic woman, went to school like that in the mini skirt with her nipples out, she would be the principal's office and sent home. or if coach. if the male coach decided he wanted to show everybody off his inseam with super tight pants, he would be fired. he would be called something. we are seeing the same thing. but we are seeing with this gender stuff is the individual is pushing their beliefs. i want to normalize myself. i don't want to fix myself. i want to push myself on other people a mess we are seeing with a lot of these issues. teachers spearheading these

movements, you look at them and it's their thing. puberty was rough for me because i had my issues with when to take away say 550 with change or struggle. i failed at a paradigm -- no one has ever condone anything like that. we are seeing numbers up because they are trying to create their own little world. >> greg: clap away. up next, liz warren sensa pandering tweet while philly schools canceled trick-or-treat.

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>> greg: welcome back. liz warren keeps it creepy, tweeting nonsense from her tv that's good. people like grimes.

the internet groans. massachusetts senator and cherokee nation icon. here she is throwing in acts. i should've said tomahawk. >> tyrus: you did. thank you for recognizing. >> greg: she tweeted this. on indigenous people say we celebrate the contributions, their extraordinary resilience and the rich cultures of tribal nations and native communities. federal government honoring his promises and native peoples. i haven't seen a tweet that fastens rachel dolezal wish tessa happy black history month. warren claimed native american history even though her blood test came back as mayonnaise. this human bumper sticker thinks she's qualified to go all in for

indigenous peoples' day which has replaced columbus day in some cities that don't have casinos. more could be on the way. the parade went on as usual in new york, democrat lawmakers introduced a bill to erase it as a state holiday and replace it with indigenous peoples' day. even halloween fun is toast. in philly, the birthplace of punching, one school district's canceled its annual halloween parades for not being inclusive enough. that's the problem in philly? holy crap. apparently it's a problem because not everyone celebrate halloween and those kids had to sit in the library during past parades. it's cruel considering they haven't been taught to read. since its philly, kids are still allowed to wear masks when they rob convenience stores. anything more to add? >> i stand by my words. i'm not the type of person to give you something and then take it back.

it's been many moons since my failed presidential campaign. when i bravely battled fellow women of color tulsi gabbard and beto o'rourke. all americans deserve a puff on the pipe of peace. you don't need a reservation. i've got to go. i am to the optometrist for my vision quest. >> greg: mercedes, why is the left so obsessed with changing things? they've got to change columbus day. >> mercedes: is a very broad question. >> greg: i could've said that about the a block. what's your answer. >> mercedes: i believe dr. fauci is in charge of the halloween parade in philadelphia because he doesn't want it to

happen. give me a break. these poor kids. they have suffered enough. they've had enough mental health issues. having issues in school. on top of that you're going to take away halloween. they've already taken away christmas and thanksgiving under the fauci rule. let the kids be kids. let's go back to the time when it was a joyful time to get together with your friends, dress however he wanted to dress and go get candy. they made everything into a political fight, political division and it's an outrage. elizabeth warren, i want to say one thing. she should just claim, now that you can identify as anything, become an italian-american and support columbus day. that's when i would do. >> greg: she would be a terrible italian. i don't think she can cook. >> tyrus: when somebody uses minorities for financial gain

and is able to come back and honor it in everyone's okay with it, one has never been -- shouldn't she have been answering questions on the hill? like you used to pretend to be something you're not to get jobs, to get favors, elections. you defrauded your voters. they thought they were voting for someone who was native american and was proud of their heritage. in a way, isn't that some form of crime? but yet facts mean absolutely nothing because there is no consequences. she could make jokes about it. i don't think that people who lost their jobs and their opportunities lost their jobs because of her playing around with the applications knowing damn well what she was doing, i don't think they were laughing. everything comes down to coming look for junk the joke is the woke. you said it today. nobody wants to work. they want to end it and start their own. why? i guarantee you there's going to

be a fact-finding committee based on indigenous people day and there's going to be a committee and their bodies have to get paid to research to find out just how bad it was. they can make money. they get stuff and speaking engagements or whatever, boosters, campaign contributions. that's why they don't want to merge. they want to stop it so they can make their own. >> greg: they are coming for halloween. they might as well just come for your birthday. halloween. >> kat: halloween is always stealing the thunder for my birthday. >> greg: so you wanted gone. >> kat: changed to my birthday. celebrated nationally. i feel for these kids. one day a year that you don't feel included, you're doing o okay. >> greg: that's true. that's the problem. >> kat: for me was telling time they couldn't see who i was. the only time i was okay. i have moved on.

it's obviously absurd but everything will be canceled. we will all just sit there. >> greg: i've been way ahead of that trend because all i do is sit. that's all i do. they might listen. my mama didn't let me celebrate halloween so i have some childhood trauma from this. thankfully my dad was super cool so he kept a werewolf mask in the toolbox of his truck 3965 days a year so he could take me to my grandparents on halloween we would go trick-or-treating. i have been like, i had overalls on one day. i had my ninja turtle pajamas on. ninja turtle werewolf. every version of the werewolf you can think of. let the kid celebrate halloween. my mama would give me all those halloween's for all the heathen things she knows that i do now. she would've just let me have halloween i would probably be preaching somewhere. instead i borrowed the shirt

from elizabeth warren and i come on the show and f-bombs. >> greg: on that note. >> tyrus: very new mexico view. >> greg: up next she made learning a bummer and flies to ukraine to make them dumber. >> customer: and they recycled my old glass. >> tech: don't wait. schedule today. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪

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tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. ♪nothing is everything♪ now's the time to ask your doctor about skyrizi, the number one dermatologist prescribed biologic. learn how abbvie could help you save. >> greg: welcome back. the head of our teachers union finds another country to ruin. she took a plane to ukraine. around the world she roams while keeping your kids trapped at home. left-wing stooge randi weingarten, president of the american federation of teachers travel to ukraine to meet with students and teachers. i have of the ukrainian suffered enough? once again. but once again she proves that wherever kids aren't learning, she's there.

>> we've made a decision that we are going to go and talk to the union leaders there and were not going to let putin get away with terrorizing people. the schools were enclosed. children are learning remotely or are in bunkers right now. >> greg: okay. she's not going to let putin get away with terrorizing people? what is she planning to do? ruin russia's education system too, scenting critical race thinking. she could erase a decade of learning in months. the concern about ukrainian students learning online but here where students were stuck at home for over a year at her behest, she's got no problem with it. she's the same lady who treated picture holding it upside down

ukrainian flag. to be fair she was trying to put it over... an upside down flag can be a sign of distress. all right, tyrus. of course we are worried about the kids in ukraine but what the [bleep] was she doing over there? >> tyrus: she is so woke she forgot his name was putin. she is going to go over there and tell them to keep the kids at home? >> greg: yes. they are in a war. can you still go home? she has no clue. no clue. it's probably a good thing we get a break. she should go on a world tour. just go. she has no clue.

the pandemic is still happening. there is another virus coming. we have to be ready. she is going off to get putin. went to the wrong place to get him. he's not in ukraine. he wants to be but he's not there now. >> greg: joey, is ukraine being used as a reputation answer? chris cuomo went there. if i go there it makes me seem like a better person? >> joey: i don't know. to her credit, rockets actually can hurt kids. unlike the virus she kept them away from. >> greg: that went over my head. >> tyrus: that's what you want with rockets.

>> joey: you don't want them under your feet. they're much better over your head than under your feet. as a guy that was an astronaut for 0.8 seconds. it's going to be. we covered a guy. has a purpose. i have people in my family were principles work in school administrative offices. the teachers union can be a good thing for today does not. it's a terrible thing. >> greg: she's managed to make teachers who you loved growing up to be unpopular. used to say they are so great. have your favorite second-grade teacher now it's like you just think they're all full. the union. the unions don't represent the teachers. to shave any business being there? c7 teachers need to run away as quickly as possible from the teachers unions. she has no business being there. she looks more like

angela merkel. the former german chancellor. she is trying to become this almost ambassador for these children in ukraine where she can even manage or speak up for the children in america. she has forgotten the children in america. she has abandoned parents here in the u.s. she has no business being in ukraine. she has no business leading the teachers union here in the united states. they need an overhaul of the teachers unions were the parents' rights and the children's rights are the priority. >> greg: kat. not only does she have no business being there, she has no business having such a fun last may. i hear weingarten, i get exc excited. sitting on a park bench in the back. leslie biergarten. but then you see your new status no weingarten. let's not even close. >> kat: all right.

maybe honestly what we've been missing in this whole global conflict has been in the assessment of the situation. she called the missile strikes disgusting so that was a pretty bold take. she was like, i am going to assess the situation. what are you going to offer? this is bad. listen, everybody. i decided this is not good. you don't need to go there to do that. it's obviously for attention. she is trying to rehab her image which is also like why does she have a publicist and i don't? >> greg: exactly. you needed more than she does. >> kat: no kidding. >> greg: your private life is all over the web and it's disgusting. >> kat: actually it isn't. do you think i would be sitting right here? >> greg: i don't even know what that means. >> kat: i don't know.

are you guys okay. >> greg: we've got to move on. my favorite topic. coming up, donna's face is so off-kilter fans are praying that it's a filter

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and to see bridget's before and after photos. >> greg: welcome back. does the singer of "material girl" make you want to hurl. she sang "like a virgin" needs to see a surgeon. she wants saying papa don't preach but her new face is a reach. she belted out into the groove but now her face won't move. maybe we shouldn't care about the woman behind "like a prayer." it's time for... >> why they do do that -- why did you do that to your face? >> greg: we could do this every week. madonna posted a video on instagram saying.

had people say marilyn manson really let himself go. pretty close. many people asked what she had done to make yourself look so scary. you wouldn't say that to her face but if you did her face wouldn't feel it. seeing that those people were being mean and leave her alone. i politely expressed concern she may have been attacked by an angry storm of bees. not that i care. if she sees a ray of light she should walk toward it. stop it. alicia will be crying for argentina because she can't. mercedes, in the green room you said you liked how she looked. >> mercedes: really? >> greg: it's what you said. i'm locked out.

>> mercedes: she looks like kim kardashian to me. >> greg: i think it's this time you don't have any best friends or close friends for somebody to tell you you are going too far. nobody is telling her. >> mercedes: you are telling her. i think you need to call her up and say madonna, no more. >> greg: do you know how many times i have said that to her? >> joey: a lot. >> greg: i got a little applause out of that. kat, why do this. you are in your late 40s right now. >> kat: i'm so glad you can still get people to laugh at that joke somehow. >> greg: at what point do you no longer see that? she can't see that? >> kat: i love madonna. people will criticize her no matter what. she is an older woman.

she didn't do it to her face and kept it natural, people would say you are so old, look at your gross wrinkles, your souls and they would go on george clooney's page and say you are so hot and so brave for choosing a wife it's only 17 years younger than you are. as a woman and you get older, people are going to talk [bleep] about you if you put [bleep] on your face or you don't. >> joey: people are talking on dolly parton. >> kat: name one other person. >> greg: angelo hansberry! angela landsbury. >> joey: the kardashians, the generous, they have made billions of dollars making themselves look better. i make not millions of dollars strapping on robot legs every

day. you are who you are. tom shillue couldn't recreate that. that's a very transformative lock. i think people get to say something about it. >> greg: what if we are all wrong and she has discovered the way we are supposed to look? >> tyrus: no matter what you say. i knew something was missing. the mole she used to have is now on her forehead. >> greg: it tried to escape. it tried to escape. >> tyrus: that's a lot of pull back. [laughter] she had that cute mole. now it's on her forehead. all right. that's all i'm going to say. angela lansbury. rest in peace. >> greg: i was saying in the break she play lorenz hart reads

mother in 1962. that was in the manchurian candidate, the better version. that technically would make her 120 right now. she's 96. >> tyrus: i lived in a house in burbank, california. her name was on everything. >> greg: was she there at the time? >> tyrus: no. i didn't get to old ladies until i got here. all i get the hugs, don't act like i can hear. i am on enough bucket lists to know what my bases. >> greg: it would be a bucket, wouldn't it, i don't know what that means. you can say anything that sounds bad. up next and updated list of baldy's you can't resist. yeah, isn't it a bargain? you know that bargain detergent is 85% water, right? really? it's this much water!

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fanduel and draftkings, two out of state corporations making big promises. what's the real math behind prop 27, their ballot measure for online sports betting? 90% of profits go to the out of state corporations permanently. only eight and a half cents is left for the homeless. and in virginia, arizona, and other states, fanduel and draftkings use loopholes to pay far less than was promised. sound familiar? it should. vote no on prop 27.

>> a story in five words. >> greg: a story in five words. the hottest b bald man announce. a study found the top five hottest bold men. and jesse watters. i am kidding.

or am i not? he fix that. good for him. tell me how sexist this is. >> kat: yeah. everything is sexist. prince william is also not hot at all. he is just a prince. i swear to you if he was an accountant at a bar asking girls. all of them would be like "i have a boyfriend." not a hot guy. he is a prince and i'm not so he wins. >> greg: i would rather be prince than a prince. >> tyrus: not right now. he's dead. rest his soul. i carried him. >> greg: you did. i read that in your book. >> tyrus: i would've dropped vin diesel. i don't have a question for you. who picked these fools? they need to come forward and show themselves. this is ridiculous. pitbull.

he looks like you wouldn't let them near your daughter. the prince looks like a shady lawyer that keeps spending your retainer. i have beef with him going way back. i quit my first job in the summertime because i had a part in this movie called saving private ryan. i told everyone i was an actor like kiss my ass. i am out. dude sent an awesome monologue when he played a different characters and his name was vin diesel. i had to go back to my job. it wasn't my job anymore. they give it to somebody else. of course it was vin diesel's fault. >> kat: these aren't the hottest bald guys. they hottest bald guys are the ones wearing a hat. >> greg: awful. that is sexist.

>> tyrus: i'm not even technically bald. >> mercedes: according to prince william, you are. prince william has some here but still thinks the list of the hottest bald man. should be partial baldness? i am more into men with white hair. >> tyrus: like santa claus? >> mercedes: my husband would be the hottest guy with white hair. >> tyrus: his hair is like afghanistan. it's bombed out, depleted. >> mercedes: there's products. they work. >> joey: i know where you're going. >> greg: you know. >> mercedes: you kept your hair. >> joey: i kept the pretty part. >> tyrus: we are tight. we can do that. >> greg: there is no women on

this list. i think that's sexist. no nonbinary individuals. >> joey: everything that comes to mind when you say that we'll get me in trouble so i will say something that will get me in trouble. when i joined the marine corps. shave your head high and tight regardless if you want one or not. if you she your head bald, they will wait for you to grow more hair so they can come back. i had a drill instructor, a gunnery sergeant. he shaved his arms. the most handsome man i've ever seen in my life until he took his smoking mirror off and he was bald headed. as a guy -- >> greg: we have a lot of bald viewers surveyor going to be very upset. >> joey: my point is it doesn't work for everyone and i will think hair would work for vin diesel. >> greg: we are happy for everyone, especially me.

a big plate of fried chicken after the show. i can't wait. don't go away. we'll be right back.

>> we are out of time. our studio audience and the dreamy chase gallagher is next. thank you, greg. you always make me laugh. and for those watching gutfeld, we got one but he's going to be thinking when i coming up a bit later. meantime, the news rolls on. welcome to fox new @ night i'm chase gallagher. breaking tonight president bide in the prime interview making several headlines warning that saudi arabia will face consequences of teaming up with russia to reduceil