that's it for us tonight. be sure to tune in next week. we're going to talk to a cardiologist from the u.k. who has an important and disturbing message about the covid vaccine program. have a great weekend. count your blessings and fly your flag. it's america now and forever. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. >> greg: yep. [applause] happy friday, everybody! you look wonderful. i think. so how is life? i know you got inflation, you have crime. we're on the brink of nuclear war. thank got these bozos is their

priorities straight. >> those in favor will say aye. >> aye. >> mr. chairman, on this vote, nine ayes and zero nos. >> the resolution is agreed to. >> greg: nine ayes like a fly. is that right? i don't think so. but there's a shocker. 25 days before the mid-terms, the january 6 panel votes unanimously to subpoena trump. that's about as surprising as the final score at a harlem globetrotters game and about as spontaneous as adam schiff's face. does that make sense? no. and what a co incident. it happens the same day the inflation number comes out and higher than hunter biden on free crack day. [laughter] crime is exploding like a can of

sprite left in a freezer too long. the borders are as open as the west wing's windows when joe forgets his lactade pills. so why not? let's go after trump screams the dems. this guy has been in more fake trials than the cast of law and order. the hope is the new cycle will shift from biden's disasters to the orange monster that can make adam kinzinger cry like he's cutting onions while his nuts are in a vice. terrible. so will this distraction overwhelm the public and not that they'll forget it cost $100 to fill up a tank of gas or $15 for a pack of hot dog? you heard right. joe behar's lunch cost $15. it's true. for a pack of hot dogs. did someone blow up the oscar mayer pipeline too?

surveys tell us everyone cares about, it ain't january 6, it's the economy, it's crime. january 6 is less importants than todd pyro's time slot. someone is watching. probably your family. here's why. january 6 is not eating away at your retirement fund. it's not mugging people on the subways and not killing people by the tens of thousands like fentanyl. it's not elevating possibility for nuclear war as we pour billions into a conflict thousands of miles away and i don't mean kat's honeymoon. they're all urgent matters. people are dying on the streets and in their beds. so close to a nuclear disaster you can taste dana's plutonium. january 6, that's the concern.

it's their hail mary. no wonder so many are leaving the party like a keg is empty and the cops showed up including this smart woman. >> i can no longer remain in today's democratic party. it's now under the complete control of a kabul of war mongers that divide us but racializing every issue and stoking anti-white racism that actionively work to undermine our got given freedoms inshined in hour constitution and hostile to people of faith and spirituality, who demonize the police and protect the criminals at the expense of law-abiding americans. >> greg: that lady makes a lot of sense. >> laura: i should have her on. [cheers & applause] but don't fret, democrats. you lost a tulsi but you gained a liz cheney.

i'm starting to think the dems screwed up with this insurrection theater. i think it will back feel like eric swalwell after an extra large bean burrito. it's not going to jail trump. it's going to get him re-elected. any time you watch the hearing, you can see the committee was more stacked than dolly parton playing jenga. it's bursting with contempt for trump and his supporters. a witch hunt armed with preordained conclusions and empowered with unlimited time and effort all on the taxpayer's deem, which some worth 3 cents since biden took office. they're having a trial where the prosecution and judges are on the same side and opposed by no one. with that setup, i could convict tom hanks of murder. i just might. just validates trump supporter's suspicions that the fix was in and always in. dems are right. the hearings will anger some americans but not in the way they think.

people don't swallow b.s. even when you hide it in kilmeade's sandwich. fact is, the country has big problems. economy, crime, the border, harry and meghan. what are we going to do with them? the dems work to distract rather than attack the problems. they spend their energy on these issues instead of political theatrics. like they're frustrated movie directors. rather than solve the problems head on, they find weirder things to do like convincing children that they would be happier sterile. they want to audit ron desantis rather than tackle the border. that's what we asked for. never mind for sovereignty. find out if he really talked politics when he wrote off that dinner at the outback steakhouse. they will weapon anything against their enemies. like taylor swift weaponized her music after i dumped her. [laughter] i moved on, taylor. it's about time. so i hope that dems get

shellacked and learn a lesson. they never address a problem until they can see the political consequences approaching. by then, so much damage has been done, the problems are not only worse but perhaps unsalvageable like cnn. imagine in the dems tried to tackle the problems. they could prevent a lot of suffering. instead, they don't. so now we have a war, we have inflation, we have violence. it ends there if we're lucky. we have a white house that not only created 99% of it but can't do squat about any of it except to tell you not to believe your lying eyes and radio active skin. [applause] >> period! >> welcome. tonight's guests, she gave democrats a piece of her mind and it's the most brains they've had in years. former presidential candidate, host of the "tulsi gabbard show" podcast, tulsi gabbard. [cheers & applause] >> if he's the first thing you see upon waking, you're watching

fox or he broke in to your house. co host and "fox and friends," todd piro. she's like a reese's pieces. tiny, shiny and smells like peanut butter. fox news contributor, kat timpf. he beats people with his skull by outthinking them. my massive sidekick and nwa champion, tyrus. [cheers & applause] tulsi, so i would say first congratulations on leaving the democratic party. i would say welcome aboard. i don't know where you're going. are you going to maintain the independence or join a party? become a scientologist? >> i'm an independent. no, is the answer to the last question. i've always been an

independent-minded person even as i've been a democrat for over 20 years. i've always been an independent democrat. and, you know, ultimately this democratic party has gone insane. >> greg: you said some incredibly brave things. i don't think anybody said the stuff about the anti-white racism. people are scared of saying that. they're afraid to be called racist. >> exactly. >> greg: you have to nod along and go we'll just take being hated. but what do you make of this whole january 6th committee stuff happening now? you think it was a coincidence that it's now? >> of course not. from the very beginning, this has been political theater. how do you have a commission that is supposed to be bipartisan, supposed to be unbiassed and objective but from day one, it was an announcement of guilty before they began. so it's no surprise to me that the american people are not paying attention. this is not what is on their minds and obviously many other things that people are struggling with and dealing with across the country. this is not one of them.

>> greg: todd, she makes a great point. more people are watching your show. >> wow! attacks on the 4:00 to 6:00 time slot. you're factually correct. you're a lawyer. >> i am. >> greg: two questions for you. one, why. will the subpoena do anything? he doesn't have to show up. if congress takes back -- i wouldn't say congress. it will never happen. and if he gets subpoenaed, should he testify? >> to your first point, that's what this is about. in regular law, i practice in santa monica superior court. a two-month time window, which is all the democrats have is nothing. i could get a subpoena dragged out way longer than two months. you know, drag it along, make the person testify in three, four, five months. this is the president of the united states. this is an unprecedented ask. you don't think this will get dragged on beyond two months? the democrats know it will get

dragged on. that's why they waited till the last minute. they know they won't get this. this is the last thing. it has nothing to do with january 6. it has everything to do with november 8. they're trying to score points for the mid-terms and it's going to fail big time. [applause] >> greg: kat, does it bother you they're using our tax dollars to try to sway an election? >> tax dollars bother me in general. the concept i'm against. so yes. and i agree with todd. i don't understand why they wait till now. unless trump decides that he wants to do it because he thinks it would be fun -- >> greg: that's a lot of the reasons. >> which is a possibility. he's not a guy like an audience? no thank you. which i'm a guy like that, too. so i can understand. but if he doesn't want to, there's no way he has to it's going to flip to republican control.

you can drag it out far longer than that as todd said. if they really wanted to, they could have had him be one of the first. they didn't. liz cheney has gone all in with this. this is her thing. she had to make sure she had this invitation. >> greg: well, you think he should do it? >> no. for one reason. why should they get the ratings? why be relevant. >> he's like i'll do it on truth social. >> that's how he should do it. that's what it's about. cnn needs this, msnbc needs this. three going to cover it wall to wall, 24 hours of trump again. people will watch one, the ones that feed off of it and the others will watch to defend it. that's what this is really about. three other presidents in our history have been subpoenaed. a all three didn't do it. so what are they going to do to him? cheney is going to put him on secret double probation? literally tried everything they can to get him put behind bars

to get to the point he couldn't run. now they'll have him come out. even if he did, what would it have been? they all would have made their speeches and you're out of order. so it's a waste of his time. he never listens. mr. president, don't punch don't and don't bring them up. >> greg: i have to say this, imagine tyrus, how great this should would be if he testifying every day. we wouldn't have to work. we would just come in here around roll tape. >> and it's not just president trump. whenever someone or a group decides to make accusations against you with no foundation or no basis for anything other than just to ruin you or besmirch your name, the worth thing to do is engage them. the only thing you have to be made clear with a damaging accusation or alleged crime thrown against you by people that don't have anything to do with law enforcement is to engage. the only thing you have to be good with is your family,

friends and job. you don't owe them an explanation. if he didn't do anything wrong, which the fbi said he hasn't, he has no point. don't feed the fire. [cheers & applause] >> greg: like i said to my masseuse, we'll have to leave it there. up next, biological men get the shaft when it comes to the draft. [applause]

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>> greg: todd is my kilmeade for tonight. uncle sam doesn't give a damn in a draftee changes their pronoun to ma'am. there's a new rule that says

u.s. services or immigrants that are born male and change their gender to female are still required to register. individuals that are born female and change their gender to male are not required to register. get that? i'll spell it out for you. if you're a he who becomes a she, you're still a he in the government's eyes. you must go to war. talk about the battle of the bulge. [laughter] >> greg: you can clap. thank you. [cheers & applause] if you're a she who becomes a he, you're still a she and thus you're exempt. talk about unfair. women look better in leopard print and exempt from the draft. the rule is not new but gets more attention after the selective service tweet add reminder to parents that their sons need to register for the draft.

it's a popular account since we're being led to nuclear war by a dementia patient. when it comes to war, biology matters. thrown out the window everywhere else from women's sports to prisons to your child's classroom. in the real world, the navy thinks it takes men to may see men. [laughter] >> greg: i don't care. it's friday. so to all of you fine young men watching me right now, let this be a lesson. becoming a woman won't save you from the draft even if it saves you from paying for dinner. >> a sexist would say that. not me. i'm very progressive. >> clearly. >> greg: yes. it's too late. >> you reveal your true colors every time i come here. >> greg: it gets worse. >> just wait. >> greg: as most people know,

you're a veteran. you served in the armed forces. >> i still serve. [applause] i'm still in the army reserves, a lieutenant colonel serving as a civil affairs officer. this whole thing, greg, this whole thing as you pointed out, this is how much this administration loves war, that there is no other part of our society where they're not politically correct in denies the objective truths that there is biological differences between a man and a woman except when it comes to going to war. it's funny, but so freaking disturbing. because we are literally at the brink of nuclear war because of what president biden and his administration are doing. that places us and humanity and all of the world at risk. this is how they're doing it. >> greg: how dare you say that, tulsi. makes you a putin puppet. >> because i don't want to go to nuclear war. guilty as charged.

>> greg: that's the new rule now. if you mentioned the p word, which is peace, they will replace it with putin or propagandist or something -- >> notice with this whole thing that came out, where are all of the culture warriors now? where are all of the so-called progressives that are so stuck on pronoun that if you use the wrong pronounce, where the hell are they speaking how unfair and unjust this is? [applause] >> greg: it is pretty -- it's hypocritical of government. >> no, it's not hypocritical of government. it's hypocritical of the woke. their whole thing is to avoid responsibility or not have to do anything. they want everything given to them. the last thing that they'll do is defend the country. that looks like hard work. of course, let's send the men. they're the problem with everything anything way. send them all. you know? when it comes to biology, it's just the cold hard facts.

when it comes to physical combat, fighting, we're just genetically better at it because we were designed to do. that's mother nature. you can't argue that. so you won't hear them say anything on this one. you can -- the more massagistic they want you to go, the more they'll want you to go and spit on you when you come home. that's the beauty of living in the united states. people like that are allowed to be hypocritical. instead of saying thank you, they say what else can i get. >> greg: kat, i'd give anything to see you drafted. >> you'd be giving up my life. i wouldn't do well. >> greg: it would be hilarious. >> i'm not good at following directions. i have no strength. i don't agree with the draft. >> i'm with you on that. >> i'm against the draft,

period. thanks to you out there. i appreciate it. i don't think the government has a right to compel you to risk your life for its own ends which you may or may not agree with yourself. especially considering how we have already seen it used to fight battles that are not our own battles. we wouldn't be need to think about this if we weren't so assertive to inserting ourselves in every global conflict out there it's completely wrong, completely gross especially because the people that call for war are never the ones that have to fight it. the people that bring us to the brink of nuclear wars, they have bunkers. so [bleep] you. [cheers & applause] >> greg: you think that's the kind of language you'd hear at 4:00 a.m. >> we try. i have a different take on this. you talk about the real issues here. i look at this from the perspective of a father of two little girls. yes, they will grow up at some point and be larger than they are currently.

they're under 2. this is the biden administration admitting that trans women are men and that they can fight and die in combat. those people are allowed to play sports against my girls? my little girls will go up against tyrus in a dress some day and get destroyed. that is a scary image. i thought of the image of tyrus in a dress a lot while preparing for this segment. [applause] >> greg: what are you going to do? >> what was the last thing you said, kat? >> [bleep]. >> i have nothing more. i rest my case. >> greg: yes. >> you're going to rest more than that. [laughter] >> greg: we do have a back door. just run really fast. all right. that was exciting. up next, they want him to take a hike for what he said behind the mic.

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>> greg: he said take off the dress. which led to this stupid mess. wokesters were clutching their pearls when aikman compared footballers to girls. troy aikman, seen there, yeah, that's him -- no, that's him. walking back comments he made during a monday night football broadcast where he criticized a play call homing future rule changes will take the dresses off. troy was frustrated by a debatable roughing the passer call between the chiefs and the raiders. those are football teams, kat. here's the moment in question. >> the play again, the ball comes out right there. the ball is possessed by jones. he's going to the ground with carr. his body is there. >> it's too much. my hope is the competition committee looks at in the next set of meetings and you know, we take the dresses off.

>> greg: mmm. the comment was made in passing, but some on social media called aikman's remarks sexist and sadly he responded to the controversy on a local dallas radio show. >> i mean, my comments were dumb. just shouldn't have made them. just dumb remarks on my part. >> greg: pathetic. you're pathetic. troy is now a girl's name. [laughter] but did he really need to apologize? twitter outrage doesn't affect real life. especially judging about how the tweets that airlines suck. who did he actually offend? who did he harm? we know women have proved that they belong on the football field. they helped me spell "defense." [laughter] really, women are only offended by football when the team's

uniforms don't match. let's be honest, women haven't paid attention to football since they penalized dancing. >> a sexist would say all of that. >> greg: i sensed a theme there. all right. todd, i don't know if you are up, or if you can stay awake for monday night football. >> i can't. >> greg: would you have apologized for this? >> absolutely not, this is what happens when you call games for woke disney. notice he didn't have to apologize the first 20 years at a different network. >> greg: fox. yeah. >> the creepiest ever. under the left's own standards, can't anyone wear a dress? can't any one play football? the crazy thinking about this, when this happens in the athletic arena, you have people apologizing for the most benign things in sports. have you ever been in a locker room? the language is worse than the competition committee should drop the dresses. >> greg: i've been in my locker

rooms and i didn't play any sports. right, kat? would his life have been any different if he hadn't apologized? he's got f.u. money. he rich. why did he succumb? >> first of all, that was a terrible call. i know tyrus said in the break, that was a terrible called. i was watching "bachelor in paradise." everything i learned from him is from "king of the hill." he was reading the things that he thought was everybody. it's a small percentage of people that are even on twitter. even the people that tweeted it were actually mad. nobody was upset or crying or needed to be consoled because somebody made a joke about a dress. if so, there's something else going on. and i think they're probably upset like they were watching football and they wanted to

watch "bachelor in paradise" but their husbands had football on and they were taking it out on him. >> greg: ironically we found out who was really wearing the dress. it was troy. we'll be right back. see what i did there? i turned it around. >> you're off the hook. so stupid. i understand why to your point, which is excellent, he had to apologize because he works for disney and disney ruined espn and ruining monday night football. a terrible call. besides that, what he said, morons, the reason why he wanted them to take the dresses off of the quarterbacks is because you don't hit a person with a dress on. it's a compliment. you got to take the dress off and be dressed like a man to get hit. so that's what he was saying. so how could you be offended unless you'd like us to change it to where you have open season on hitting people with dresses.

isn't that worse? >> greg: it is. i followed that. >> greg, i'll be putting on a dress immediately after this show. >> and i wouldn't hit you. >> well-played. >> greg: you act like it's the first time you've done that. the bigger problem with this that i find, tulsi, every time somebody like him with power and authority and wealth succumbs to pressure, makes it harder for other people to fight wokeness that don't have -- like if he just says i'm not going to apologize, that means it's easier for everybody else not to apologize. >> yeah. first of all, when i read the article, i was like yeah, of course i wouldn't wear a dress if i was playing football. how is that like this is practical reality, right? >> yeah, right. >> you're right. that is the bigger point here. when people are in positions of wealth and power and influence

kowtow to the cancel culture and the political correct wokeness, then it has the effect of causing a lot of other people who are worried about losing their jobs, worried how they will pay the rent or mortgage how to self-censor whether it's at work or school or a family gathering or anything else. this is exactly the problem and the effect of what he has done and what others do in this situation. >> greg: can you remember what football players used to say on tv? remember joe namath? john riggs from the redskins? >> i remember when i played. you didn't want to hear what i said. >> greg: i bleeped out the wrong ones. john riggs from the redskins. i was supposed to flip that. >> yeah, i cussed like a sailor. it felt right. >> i'm imagining people flaying football in dresses. that would make the center quarterback exchange more

interesting than it is. >> greg: is that a ball? you'd be a perfect ob-gyn. all right. speaking of, coming up, they think putin's a hero for forcing europe to carbon zero. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. ask your doctor about fasenra. ♪ hey, sorry i missed your game. it's okay. you see that? that's when i realized it's time to finally do the thing we've been talking about for years. so we're making plans for right now. ♪

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>> greg: all right. here's the story in five words. war is great for environment. so kat, politco had a list of power players behind europe's green agenda. putin came out on top. arguing that the war in ukraine has been great for the environment because it forced europe to break its fossil fuel addiction. could this be the worst take you've ever heard on war? >> i think so, yeah. i remember back when this conflict was starting in march, there was a piece in the atlantic that was like okay, everybody, listen, you know, if we go to nuclear war that would be worse than the environment

than any of donald trump's policies. i remember being like did anyone need to say that? i'm like i guess i should have retweeted it. yeah, nuclear -- you were worried about what the straws did to the turtles, you'll hate nuclear war. >> greg: by the way, turtles love plastic. ask them. >> they do apparently. >> because they're not using their shells anymore. moron. >> greg: remember tortoise shell glasses were the things and joe plastics said we'll take care of that. all the turtles rejoice. they have statues of the sea for the inventor of plastics, which is joe han speaker man. the turtles prayed to him. tulsi, i don't know where i went. >> there's no sleep thing is not doing it for you.

tyrus is having to translate. interpret. >> greg: do you think this was just click bait? or did they mean this? >> i don't know. i think evidence of the fact that they mean this is shown in the so-called progressive warriors in congress who have zero to say about the fact that nuclear war -- there's nothing worse than nuclear war. i went to chernobyl in 2009 because i wanted to see what happened there. they gave us these radiation measuring meters everywhere we went, which showed there's still radiation there. so these progressive woke warriors are silent on nuclear war, but pound the pavement every day saying climate change is the greatest threat to humanity. it's crazy. >> greg: go ahead. >> just to be clear, i feel like i have to say it, we're on the brink of nuclear war that is putting humanity and the world at risk as we know it.

this is the threat that we face. >> greg: and it's friday night. enjoy that margarita. >> exactly. >> greg: tyrus, i'd like to take the people that wrote this article to where there's no power in ukraine and drop them there. >> they'd eat each other in a half an hour. like i said, i hate when i hear the word "woke warrior." there's nothing warrior about them. >> that's true. [applause] >> they sit in their first world little perches and spew out all of this kind of stuff. the same idiots said they will save the planet. for real? the planet is fine. the planet is doing great. it deals with meteors crashing, heat, fire. the planet is doing fine. we might be on our way out. that's kind of how it works. i don't know how many dinosaurs were driving around in s.u.v.s at the time that they went but they went.

that's the way the planet works. they don't have to have facts or science. they said it and they all got around each other and wow, we're doing something. all you did is for the -- you encouraged the wrong people. so now putin is what he's doing is good. here's the thing. you can't say that we shouldn't send money over there and we should stay out of it, but you can say putin blowing ukraine halfway to hell is good for the environment. crazy pills. >> greg: it's incredible. you can actually -- using this like myopic weird view, you can put a spin on covid to the holocaust. any reduction of human life this is a carbon footprint reduction. >> it's like the war is because they had to. the next line is it's not the

worth thing in the world that europe will be in war soon because the europeans are getting wall insulation. it session that in that article. never mind the fact that putting the nuclear threat, which is obviously a concern, this winter many thousands of people will die because of their ridiculous worship of green energy policies. they're going to die. this is not a joke. that's scary. we can't emulate that here in the states. >> greg: it's an anti human perspective, right? it can justify anything. can justify war and atrocity. i think it took four people to write that article. >> those four people should cover the war in ukraine and let everybody know that they wrote that article. >> and talk about the good news. exactly. all right. up next, sometimes jokes we create need extra days to marinate. orld's #1 selling nerve care company.

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they. it's my first time reading these jokes. so here we go. kim kardshian was booed at sunday's l.a. rams game. apparently ticket holders complained when she tried to squeeze into seats 14 a, b, c and d. like i said, didn't read them first, a bride in brazil glued her ears back so she could look perfect on her wedding day. to prepare for a perfect marriage, her husband glued his mouth shut. [laughter] oh, the people clapping are men. murders on the new york city subway have sky rocketed to the highest level in 25 years. the good news, it's a lot easier to find a seat during rush hour. pennsylvania lieutenant governor

john fetterman -- [booing]. all right. still leads dr. oz -- this sounds like a fairy tale. >> it does. >> greg: in the race for the state senate seat. if he wins, it will be the first time a doctor lost to a man that needs a doctor. [applause] an idaho man broke a guinness world record by balancing a guitar on his chin for an hour and 35 minutes. critics say it's the pointless use of a guitar since a cold play album. live nickel back alone. i'm glad they said cold play. adriana checkchic, a popular

porn star and online gamer said she broke her back jumping in to -- after jumping into a foam pit at a convention over the weekend. other gamers said they knew something was wrong by the way she yelled oh, my god, oh, my god. oh, my god. [laughter] i don't get that. i never heard of it before. a minnesota man is the new world pumpkin weigh-off champion after grow ago 2,500 pound gourd. first prize was $23,000 and a certificate confirming he's wasting his life. i would say that about the guy with the guitar. i love giant pumpkins. crawl in them. >> you can. >> greg: i can crawl in small pumpkins. in a convert in california,

roadies for chuck e chuck blasted the crowd with marijuana using cannabis cannons. what a waste of bomb ass weed said dana perino. true. d.c. has cancelled the comic book featuring a bisexual superman after 18 issues were released. when reached for comment, superman said much like sex with the flash, it was over too soon. apparently d.c. execs said the last straw is when superman used his x-ray vision in a pride parade. [laughter] who needs x-ray vision during a pride parade? >> that's what i was thinking. it's all out there. >> greg: all right.

that writer is fired. gen-zers say being pregnant makes them rude and uncomfortable. a new york city judge said that thruples have the same rights as couples. what is next? you'll be allowed to marry your brother? i don't know what you're clapping for. i have no idea what that means. no idea what that means. finally, former nor governor david patterson said recently new york city feels unsafe for the first time in his life. but just imagine how much worse he would feel if he could see what was happening. i believe he's legally blind for people at home. he's legally blind. the joke is a biological reference to the fact that he

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>> we are out of time, but thank you so much for joining us this evening. we also think our guests for being here. i love you, america. >> hello, everyone, welcome to "fox news @ night." i am trace gallagher. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ cement breaking tonight, law enforcement across the country rocked by the latest attacks on those in blue. those that risked their lives to serve and protect. we will bring you the whole audio that is shedding more light on the terror that unfolded in north carolina,