this is a showy thateamt is poh only because of our team. so those words are directed at e the larger ingrams single team and you know who you are. for all right. don't forget, set your dvr fore next wednesday night, october twenty six , when the angle hits the road and heads to, houston, texas, for our first t retaking america town hall. you're not going to want to i miss it. and greg gutfeld takes it alll m from here. >>here happy friday, everybody.! i'm wearing glasses because i have a stye. out o >> i thought i'd get that out r of the way. all right. ightso here's a stupid, infuriating, idiotic story,oticy which only means it bubbled up from which can only mean it bubbled

up from academia. it happened at the universitye f of pittsburg pittsburh cathedral of learning, where a femaleemale studyh, was allegedl sexually assaulted during school hours. now, that's bad enought gets , but it horr gets worse. students, understandably horrified, demandeied demaaseddd security on campus at one anonymous student, created a petitiond that garnered six thousand signatures asking for more security cameras and more stringent id access passes. m >> the university quickly responded with an email from chc the vice chancelloc sar of public safety and emergency management. longer the title the old rule? >> the longer the title, the less they actually do in the email. >> the v.c promised they would be taking additional actions, and that would include increasing patrols and security shifts, meaning more cops. can you guess what happeneds han next? hint it always happens when common sense runs headfirst into the witless woke. stupid, destructive outrage. stupid, dest see a worker like that drunken

speeding southbound down eventually causing a northbound highway, eventually causing destruction thg who ce else who was doins the right thing. and so a backlash camela fromce students who claim saf the increasing police presenceet would threaten the safety of you students of color as opposed to, you know, want to be .'t rea school for the i didn't realize pitt was a school for the mentally challenged . t what do these students have toad do to get admitted? sketch a turtle or a pirate?e or >>ate? i tried that. stu so after ade assault, mor some students were more concerned over the presence of police than the presence of a .e pres ourse, this is what happens when the of course, this is what happens when the media distortsof shooting the odds of police shootings. classrooms a college kids prefer, classroomsr aren't safe during school, and cops are as popular as aas a in a hot tub.t in >> and i know that done a lot

of research in that area, whicha reminds us college campuses are not just gun free zones. they're alsozones. brain free zg >> so here you got a microcosm. of what you're seeing now. in every city, microcosm meansam a small sample of a bigger problem, like joy baker, small toe is pretty good. yes. could use a laugh. f co with so many female victim s,with crime out of control in with so many female victims. where arthey se the feminists? o vi why are they so afraid ofci calling out repeat thugs?alize ? even when attackers ar who viciously brutalize womenst even when attackers areth arrested? immediately, and their o they're let free immediately.y'e and they're their only punishment late is that they're late for their next attack. here's the reason. s now se the female victim is now secondary to the mantra of systemic racism. for a long time, it's been a dog fight for firs for a long time, it's been a dogfight for first placeictim, bu on top, the victim totem pole, , but sorry, gals being

considered racially oppressed is the equivalent of drawingno n a royal flush in pokerd . b no other hand can trump it. even so if you're in the wrong wn yon group, you can't be a victimompe even when you're a victim justice,ou complain, of course, you must be racist. >> in the world of social relea justice, violent felons casencas be busted and released without bail. in ours because society did itth to him. and after each senseless attack, as always, the perps lengthy rap sheet is longer than a receipt from walgreens. p don't dare add any more police because that'lt froml hurt feelp so they can have a safe space from alternate ideas.e for alternate ideas but not rapists. but not using their logic. if yt >> if you're at an atm late atfu night, you're better off if the guy behind you is wearing a ski mask tha n cops had backedime ha his crimes out of controlt. because any attemp it's at to reduce it is seen as racist. >> it's a new hierarchy noracial more good over evil, but racial justice over actual justice. >>so after so after this backlao

launch the person who launched the petition deleted it and then apologized like a foolg .adde quote, the fact that it seems si like more campus cops are being added because of something i did makes me a monster.d "and i know that now in a normaw orworld, meaning a world without th progressives, these very exact words would be coming ouh. t. the suspect's mouth. so i'lhal repeat the words,ike more campus cops are being added because of the fact that it seems like mon more campus cops are being know that.use of somethingan i did makes me a monster. >> and i know that the eighteen year old in adds, i don't think i'll come back to campus mondayr . i'm considering academic leave or transferring to another school, if that's possible. >> well, how about preschool? tp this poooor thing needs another chance to grow up. guestselcome . tonight's guests. this cane has proved he's moree

than able. hello, bible humor people co-host and fox and friends weekend. will cain, her favorite candy is butterscotch. mine is the butter. new fox news anchor delivered daris ,you're mad at me. they say less is more, but this author o more is never enough. author of so you've been to send to diversity trainingadwice chadwick more .is i this is a great intro that i never saw. cold an she's like canada white always called in. people often forget she's their

is really good.. k like and yeah, you look like a very- professional psychiatrist, right. kind of tikind of am in my spare time. yeah, that is me. p does this you off this whole off? thing. i mean, is this this is likethie it's hard to make jokes becausel at the base of this is a obv sexual assaultio, obviously, bup people actually say we don'tross want protection from becauselut. that might offend people. >> yeah, yeah.an, you don' to b, like absolutely.r pro- i mean, yocop tou don' ct have o be like super pro cop to choosem seeing a cop over being.al e th yeah, i think that's a prettyabt normal way to make that the sta decision. and you're absolutely right.temu like it came from the rapist. >> greg: yes the statement did sound like itr came from the . >> yeah. yeah., and i ma yeah. neveampusster.y and i, i may never return to vie this campus again. that would actually beom that a great point of view from that guy.baao yeah. you probably shouldn't comnstere back . he is a monster. yeah.insane i think it's just absolutelydy

insane. there's plenty i and again, i'm not somebodofy, i thin ak there's plenty ofk tht things that are crimes thato shouldn't be crimes. i think that police need to focus on real crimes. violent up at the top of the listl is definitely a violent sexual assault. hop yeah. so i think it's yoe someonu knoe i hope somebody talks tothat the kid has somebody to talke to. yeah.foreot i mean, did he show that>> statement to anyon ge or he i still don' afridi. i have no idea. whereabout and i stils l don't even know- the whereabouts of the . if they had any like thi appares apparently on the bottom of the priority. yeah. like. what he lookout what he od like? you know, julie, i'd be happya r to see a police officer or rather tha a stripper dressed as a police officer, rather. yeah, noa student. , i think that should come quickly becausee th the description was really precise. e description he's wearing a back, yeah. no, no, he's black. s black. he's black. he he short curly hair. i think a purple shirt. shirt. i saw just the backpack becauseo i don't see color.lo don't yeah, you don't. but you knowu what? saw the you probably saw the majority>> of the press.

i saw. s pol i did. i saice w police. >> i saw the with the police i description, but i bet itt get o it because you won't didn't get to where you saw it.w >> it definitely didn't get to. you because you won't actually believe wha thet i thot when i saw the headline woman i sexually assaulted in pitts' cathedral of learning, it wasual like brad pitttrue, sexually assaulted somebody. so then once i realized that wasn't true, i was quite. relieved. read the i actually read the story and i was enraged because it's disgusting, because i constantly rage against the woke that don't support and our police are under attack. why? because of not only politicians but kids are being raised to anti- become anti cop. and these college students are a perfecco thests are at example ofle it ir how despicable it is that we're raising people that don' they believe in law enforcement.t yo. they're there to protect you. but yeah, no, having s waop on campus is way more offensive than being sexually assaultedse in a stairwell. >> you an agreementw what it is , will? it really is an achievement. g y what what? trut julie said there was something actually truthful to what she saidhful to said. su. >> greg: i surprised. really? k yes.now! yes, i know yo u thinitk yet, but

radical left t it is like an achievement ofhae the radical left that now we live in a world where young people believe the police arerii nalsmore harmful than criminals. that is something that you tryor to push into society in order to destroy it. >> yes, but it's notat peopl son that people actually believe.li, >> i think that's something people pretend to believe. that cops are actually a threatr to their life. feom top ty is full of fear from top to bottom , but it's not actually fear of cops norlla fear of the racist or the . it's being fear of being called a racist. being ostracized. it's fear of being ostracized.wt so the kid thatet wrote thats gn letter, he talks about, he's going to the greatest pos lengths possible self flagellationsibl . i'm a monster. i'm taking a leave of absence.yf i may transfer. does anybody else need anything else here? what can i do tomob keep the mob from coming after me?d of he's more terrified of being ostracized than he is of a racist, a mixing those words . but one last note. i didn't know until you just said this. same read the same story that julie read because all i saw as a description of descr

the perpetratoipr was a backpacs >> yeah, yeah.g: i couldn't find because, well, the thing is ,e e i was i couldn't find anything l . and then one of the staffersicds went and looked and foundthat a police report. and it's very specific how the person looks.-- t buhat -->> the tht that left it out. was yeah, i'm telling it wasntion a black backpack. .i'm tell it.on the raceth i'm telling you, i read itg for a few times.in they said that they looking for brad pitt in the article.articl. they shoul backpack should round >> everybody with a black backpack. yeah. i also i also saw that saw thatt wrote that letter was an english major. of his i know. one of hisnly saw essays in there. rk i don't i don't think it's going to work. yeah the, it's kind of sad. the kid the kid thinks his lifei is ruined. s hibecause what he did was helt get more security to the campus .it's one and for that, he think osf th he's the monster is one of the most amazing thing.. >> i chadwick, i bet you wishes this was in your book.me out? >> i do. it's i do want your book comeou out. it's out now.r you. i can't wait to give i so i've got a copy for you.y buy

>> i can wait to give it to you. well, i'm really busy, but-- yoe i don't i don't have an number infection so i won't be eating- in a number of years . they will >> the thing is that they willop still obviously have no shameo ca depending on the police to bring in this perpetrator.reg: w but they don't want to seeha thm on campus. what if their phone getsho do y stolen? well, because who do they think is going to track this guyth doo a crack team of gender studies, professor? yes, i'm going to do the forensic work now. study i need the police officers. >> it was very much like when if you remember when new york city gay pride said that cops can't march, they can't be seen. it's too triggerindeey'll stillu they will still be required too do the security. so it's like wwork e don't want tog: see you, but please do the work that is vital to us .s me of julio, this reminds me of was 100% the politician in seattle who was 100% behind funding the police until somebody rh.rted throwing human on he . en >> right. she cald th we actually call the cops.e copa i remember that.nted i wanted to do forensic testing on the , not mine. not mii don't give that stuff away.] for free. >> it's disgusting..

any wa why are you looking at me? anyway? ext, when twitter' up next, when twitter's sold toe loelong, will most rappers be gone? >> john , if you'll be in the new york area, and would like free tickets to see gutfeld , go to fox news.com. gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. by 304 empire two hundred and forty 800. >> ninety eight to three hundred and five today. hi. jj is back because this is important. do you know of your medicare advantage plan? benefits are changing this year. are your cost and co-pays going up? is your doctor still covered during the annual enrollment period? you can call to find out all the changes to your coverage. plus see if you're eligible for

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grip's, there could be a runo bu on pink slips. it is deal to buy twitter.musk elon musk apparently toldy toldi investors henvestors plans to ah 75% of the company's five hundred workers. >> wait, wait,wa he also claims he's going to fire them to.

how do you. i can't believe you would applaud. d -- i can't believe they're can't applauding dismemberment. but that should immediately improve the parking situat but that shouliod immediately ha improve the parking situation at twitter.dqs quit a bit. but, hey, don't worr headquarters quite a bit.y, but, hey, don't worry, maybecial they can get a job at truthr] social. all that's the thing owned by trump. news of the layoffaccording tos according to interviews and internal documents obtained by the washington post. e layoff now, of course, people are saying the layoffs will ruin twitter. will take a , moderation and user security will take a hit, exposing the platformexp ax and disgusting offensive content, especially if you dmi'e me when i've been drinking. ma. n. already but the post also notes that o current management had already planned to cut a quarter of its workforce, chopping 800 million bucks from its payroll. and after months of back andr ex forth legal, muskett twitter expectedpe t to close the deal by next friday where the boardl a rocket and make lovea rocket t

crashes into the sun. rd we're told that safer than dating amber heard. . bottom line, bottom line, twitter's never really been profitableco compared toy the other big social media sites. you just can't hat the left i make money pretending that the left is popular. just as disney, cnn or the soviet union. e those, i hat chadwick. yes, sir.e clearly, he knows the nutst and bolts of this company or he wouldn't feel so confident to just take three quarters of it away. >> make of this. well, oh, you thought those tent cities are crowded in san francisco now? >> what's the bread line for? fact checker is going to look>>' like a line. s spinning that's true. that's true.his well, the media is spinning this, as youterrifie they're te. they're shaking. it's going to be , you know,ingo this floodgate ofleased o misinformation unleashed on twitter. >> butn twitter. it's hilarious to think

that, no, it actually just seems like twitter's not profitablele.. it hasn't been making a lot ofdc money.fo the median income for twitterr w employee is a quarteitterarter f a million dollars a year. wow. to do what?what? ce to sit around and censor peopln. . so it makes a lot of sense . peo and i think i thinplk it made a lot of peoplee realize thatn o musk maybe has bigger plans for than just liberating it from censorship. he's got a plan than just liberating itot from censorship, that he has actually a plan to tur n. r a lot ts to be the one thing you use for everything tofo whih >> greg: a lot of people say that about me. yeah, i'm like a swiss army knife. yeah. yeahyou're multi, yeah.o know we you're multitalented. yeah. you don't want to knowsc wherers the corkscrew is .. that just came out you just came in nowhere.o rootr ther don't like to root for unemployment. really, but there's somethingyo theyt wigney woke measlecas. you can't get that sympathetic e for it. there's some good peopleyd loveo i'm sure they're fine, buti got they're just like they they would love it if you got cancer. >> i got they wo nulo, they would lovegi that. but i mean, he's saving eight hundred million dollars,o. don'o give to him. t

i mean, i and i don't thinktomau that all those employees are that woro cancel all of us that work at certain networks. net they didn't approvworks e. remember when they wiped out all our followers. yes. afte when they wiped outr the e. i thin that was awesome. but so.k elon m so no.usk o good but i think elon musk is goingi do to do good things.n't t i think that the work is going to probably i don't i head overa to facebook.ve i'm not really sure. no, i have i how are they goingt people tn to go ? well, first, you knog w who he'g going to the first people that are going to go will is thehis w marketing team, because muskteam was always his own marketing team. i don't think he there's there's no marketing team ins on in his other companies that'. with tesla. there is none.>> g that's true. that's that's he's just goingref to is that whole thing is going. to be lopped off you like the audience like that. actually ,xing this is the audis that's pro dismemberment. >> yeah, i know.pro-di [cheers an they're going to get gadamer wienies. weg the back exite show's

after the show. >> wait, maybe before the show . someon so i guess yes.e s a torch back what would somebody have said >> can w towarde s back there?>> gre >> can we take a minute? 75% 75%. >> yeah, that's not like we're going to trim the margins here.n we got to just just. % of have you ever heard ofase? a company axing. and by the way, they wouldn't 75% of their employment base. they'r >> and by the way, they don'tp o they wouldn't just be happy we-e were fired. go they're happy to help you get fired thus. yeah. and they'ring to land they'rg tn e to land on their feet. they're going to land on theirsa feet. i thought about that. like, what do yotiu doon with . yeah, i was a misinformation specialist, but actually you doi a lot. yos prob lookingu urmia hey, pa. looking for misinformation, especially the federal governmentn adnistration. inves the biden administration nowti and wants to investigate elon muskto and this purchas see ie to see f it's a national security risk. >> yeah, so there you go . i'm sure yeah, they'll be fine, i'm surer . cat, do you feel bad for them?er there are plenty of places that are hiring. martial's is hiring tj. mapling.x. ax always hiring always hiring old navy. men's wearhouse.. these are all grea.s warehouse. th >> they sure are.at yeah.

that's a that's an old navy sweater, isn't it.n't it? i don't know. yeah>>, yeah, it's a dress. otherwise i would need to be wearing pants. >> okay, so demanding.>> th there are a lot of people out of anchors who don't wearat pants. so i'm not his name. >> names over at fbn, but stuart varney. >> look, i mean, it's just nobody owes anyone a job. i'm an, okay, so i'm a capitalist. i know a lot of people say they are, but i really am. like, i watch a christmas carola . like scrooge kind of hashristmar a point. oh, i'm prolo christmas carol is communist propaganda. it really is .i certainl yeah. yeah. like we've all had to worksuck i on christmas. yes. t upi certainly am. pretape a se even when you it up, even when you pretape a show and theyll wo go , we're going to pretape a show for thanksgiving or did thel working. y.

it's not like you did the work and it's on that day and oh five holiday special. yeah. oh i'm there. >> yeah.. i'm but he's getting he's gettingthe treatment like he's going to fire these people because he's this the scrooge treatment. it's like people likebleep] he ' he's going to fire these people t o have abecause he doesn't wat have a job.ha yeah. yeah. that's the reasove a companyn. y you don'tfbly wh have a company idiot. yeah. it's becausethat's what he doess sense for business if that's what he does, or at leastbe that's the intention behin greg all right. >> y so there you go .es. that aboutk you, doctor tim.t of yes, a lot of people don't know that about. yeah, yeah, yeah. be writing you a check right now. >> i feel like you should, too i feel like i should be writing too. you a check right now. >> i feel like you should to. i'm an old man >> all right.. nobody writes checks anymore. no, i do. nampaigi'm an old man. who up next, the campaign stop that a mo who would make less sense. you're samarium, serbo, who wasb a moment this pure demanden solution, this pure gold, pure moisture solution.

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by side in. yeah, i came up with that one . you guys didn't so laugh away. t and it's definitely a campaign first forcing voters to wonder whose brain is the worst. president biden, if that's his real name, joined pennsylvaniafr state's candidate, senate candidate john fetterman, at a campaign stop on thursday. ques it's the first event wheretion the candidates are asking the questions. >> yeah, yeah. let it sink in, clap away, keep clapping. means less work for me. biden wandered aroundasked to and smiled while fetterman was asked to join a carnival. fetterman did finally wear

a suit which surprised everyone except for the relativee wore as who bought it for him.t which surprised him except for the i also remember my first trip bh to men's wearhouse. he looks like a kid on the wayau to his first funeral, or a guy getting ready for his first ch court appearance afteropping chg up his neighbors. the audience likes that joke. more dismemberment, greg. all right. they'll have to do a cavity search of his and his teeth. search of his butt and his teeth. oh, my gosh. that was. oh, what is wrong? e gu >> airable. he looks like a guy in the guy in beetlejuice. after his head just got shrunk and now a suit doesn't fit. like >> meanwhile, joe had what looked like another verbalthat'f mishap.hing els they don't call them accidents. that'se. something else.fettermi here he is addressing fettermanm and his wife, john ., fo >> thank you very much for for

and, zell, you running. i really do appreciate it. you're going to you're l going to be a great, great ladyh to. >> oh, god , so. >> oh, wait a minute.t a minuso you're telling me that bg married to a senator doesn't make you a senator? and i spent all that time flirting with lindsey graham. er >> all right. i want to get this out oftterma the way first, will , because, you know, every issue i havei d' with fetterman is pre stroke. before t i don't care about the strokes up. he was for releasing felons before the stroke. he chased an unarmed blacknarmed jogger with a shotgun, pretroke. stroke and pre stroke. lost." he look like he had escaped from land of the lost joe . d >> so every joke that we make has nothing to do with being a list, right? >> no, i don't believe you.

you're telling me all ofe a le your issues are simply pre stroke exclusively? preece yes. you'stroke. come on .re tel yeah me thiss , this this fetterman biden duo would be the greatest abbott costello routine youn thg could ever record . and every single one of us wishes we had a video of it.. >> and it's there's a little bit of you that says this feels wrong. this is sad because it is .this but you also need to be pointing this out postr stroke. yeah, because he is running for senator of pennsylvania. yeah. with and it does have to do with hi s josb qual job qualificationsificatioectl,s it was perfectly reasonablesa and necessary to vetn' joe biden's mental capacity to be president of the united states . >>his doct gav but didn't you ss doctor gave him a note that said he was healthd you sey? d s >> right. did you see that cat who alsomp? donated to his campaign? yes, lots of money to the democrats. i will just say thatdemocrats. fetterman didn't speak at this event. right.e event. and then he's also having bide he's hn hosted another event for him on thursday. and regardless of the reasonl, e

i feel like if you're in a situation where people are like, you shouldn't speak, it's better to have joe biden do it for you.t's bett >>er to yeah, that might not bo best sign in the world, but i also had a lot of issues with him pre of like the his parents for his whole life. right.. and that's why he wears whole life? in the basketball he wants to look poor. shorts. ants t he wants to look poor. he's like all these like little hipster kids in brooklyn. like e hipste who was like their parents pay the pa for their penthouses and they wear the sweaters with they for holes in them and they eat clot the rich shirts. it's like, what do you have fore lunch? if it wasn't your parents. what'ds are it wasn' full of. >> yeah, yeah.your par [bu know, the i'll say this again.le he ruineep] d that. look, i love the the hoodie you get basketball. it's most comfortable way to go shopping in the afternoon. you know, you get warm here, don't chafe, but you don't chafe and then you got like, you know, hairless godzilla just likethouh just ruined it. room, ruined it for me, though,ou oddly, in the green room, julie ,i heard you say. >> i was hoping he was single outside.

i saw him with is a very wife wh >> yactive and very supportive wife who will be the next senator . yeah. t th was shso i don't think he was shopping at what did you call it, men's wearhouse. so me now, yes, you wouldn't be familiar, but there's a there's a store for tallople. people. it's called what is it, baby gap. it's called big and tall,. neither of which you are. becaun so that's where he was shopping. and i think he should return ita because i think i don't know, ui i'd prefer a hoodie covering his face. bu he onlt i am excited for this w. debate. he only agreed to one which is weak. he he's got a should be debating m. >> he's got a debate coming up tuesday. right. i'll turn to tn the journalist wi >> oh, this is going to be me. is it this tuesday? yeah. no yeah, this'll be great., thio but it's only one debate. so he doesn't want to speak. bik he let biden speak for him.n shu maybe biden should go due to the debate. that would be enough for hise wife and one last thing i have to mention, because whenever i see the word carpetbagging in. >> i'm n said i'm not, but i did look itp up on urban dictionary. i've got to check that out at some point. . but he winked atns

the accusation, the allegations of carpetbagging in that area. and i thought it was funny that that are he made a joke about mehmet oz, about how he actually went to high school.ut mem and in delaware,met oz i kickedm out or something like that.n lie he's making jokes about delaware while this man live dentire in his basement. e greg: yeah, the entire election.y botd yeah. and then it's true. they both kind of like lived inn basements, one in his parents basement, the other one is lik some basement. you know, i feel like the democrats have ruined basements. democrats >> democrats and serial killers, democrats and serial killers made basements exciting . >> oh, i want to go down there.g maybe i'll get dismembered. this is the best audience ever. chadwick they are going to chop you up and sprinkle your remains. know, do y broyhill do you think that. i don't know. do you think biden tried to sniff that thing on his neck? >> oh, er. e

oh yeah.you just you just cross the line. >> or maybe not, but the two of them in conversation together would be like to chat bots. chat bot yes. yes. you know, except youe couldsa g up the words, the chat bots are saying you don't even know what's coming out ofn th their mouth. it's also, you know, it's trueel in the debate he's going to how do w have all these things that are going to help him like how dohas we know this is the thing thatem bugs me? t okay, so he's going tohat havhe he's going to have a system that he can read the questions ,how do we know somebody? >> gthen doesn't type the answer. yeah, somebody is going toreg: r get the answers in, likegh they got to have a camera.t behi they better have a camera right behind him to show what be he's looking at because if there's like because what else. are they going to do?e comes oue beginning and says, "loo the guy's going to be a is go challenge for mehe comes out ait the beginning and says, look, s this is going to be a challenge for me. like juss t bukindt yeah, just y like it's kind of what i doy, with my sti ketanji. ero he yes. i'm the real hero here.

so but it it's it's like come out, go like this. i know this is going to be ai'l challenge, but i'm going to dono my best here. and later, when you elecu electo i should be speechwriter, a speechwriter. es yeah. ha-ha. he's got joe biden. t didn't take lo. coming up, it didn't take long ' for cordin to say he wasn't wrong. >> what if you could whiten your teeth by simply brushing your teeth now you can with smile gives the teeth whitening breakthrough that safely gets your teeth white and keeps them white every day just by brushing your teeth. >> i never thought that whitening my teeth could be so easy. i just put the gel on the brush. the toothpaste on it brush and i can see my white teeth simply adds my electives to any toothpaste and our patented polly clean technology activates into a powerful microphone that penetrates into the enamel surface to safely lift and remove stains. you need a simple way to whiten your teeth without strips,

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i want to know if he apologizede to the manager and the restaurant he who he beratedhumt and he humiliated in public.. he didn' t apologize to them and now he thinks that he's too good for it. goo i think it's hilarious for it. , he says it's beneath.kae feel this is what he said, cat.en he feels very zen and it's beneath him. to care about. that means it's eating him alive. it's benso it's, you know, it'sh me to care about that meat inside. it's like, yeah, it's a big fistula magots. crawling up the intestines up to your throat. yeah, i've said that before. >> i don't care. >> but that just means i've been crying a lot every single time. whatever is pain. t be yeah, well i thinkca he apologized because he really wants to eat there and then hee realized it got too much attention that he can never eatt that he can't ever eat there again. there. i remember like her again sohe' then he's like, i need to go onn the attack. >> that's right.

he's probably missin g women. he used to do shots of garlic butter. yeah. did shot at the bar beante. fries until like coté. . up he's like one of those drunksr , at westerns. , anothe he'd be up to the plaza. o barkeep, another shot of garlic butter, stuff like that. he put it there to keep it going up to the rim. >> garlic butter, garlic butter. and they just shoots it back . that could have taken my eyewoul out and would without a hell ofa a lawsuit, chat with her. she said it was biddy's him -- wouldn't notice this. my other eye>> g, you know, he d it was beneath him to respond, but he wasn't beneath him to demand free drinks. >> free cable.s for yeah, because they were that somebody did something wrong. e right. someone talks about how zen they are, you know they're on the you're right. as soon as someone talked about how they are, you know, they're on the verge of kicking sometht every second of the day. according to the restaurant fan when his wif

owner, all this really hit the fan when his wife ordered all yolk omelet and there was a speck of egg egg omelet and then that just sent himd hae over the edge. >> it was what loved to ha i woe loved been at that table next to it. >> how does that work, though? how would you know if it's egg white? well, it's white and yellow.buto would you miu x it up? >> right. would you mix it up right.gg if you didn't say your only omelet and then just make it all next? >> and he suffers from. >> so it's yellow egg.from egg e white privilege, right. finally. isn't connecte applause that is it. connected cuttingd to cutting ps you know, what i've noticede will notice. incredible. other than your suave good looks. keep going. yes. other thour ohsuave go, od >>i will keep go.ing. >> i'l>> grel neveg: or stop.h.i . just give me the chance. will , let's die. hasts my attention. yes.y i u knowha, i don't know where i am. the best part abou. t a story is about this story broke. get i started to get emails e-mai

and texts fromls world class celebrities because that's that' where my level is , right? >> the late nighe myt. yeah. greg: w thank you.e all ta and the other late night guy.wer we all talk.e on som we talk.e we have our owkindn little we're on some kind of little feed atat night. >> they all say this is true.rug everybody knows he's a big. abon it's like it's like.. no but nobodyw th ever talks aboutt until now that they have. wh oh, now we can talen ok abounet one thing it's like it's like he's b it's like a me too. >> for rude people there needsrp to be a me too for rudeoe peeps >> that's really good. i don't really know if that's a good idea though really. tell us about that.eally? >>led. >> i don't eve greg. would i change? i mean, that's a good i used to? be . >> i've gotten a lot better, you knowha, that really says whi a talented performer is james corden, because he comes off as such a nice guy, fun guy. >> the overweight buddy.e. >> and there's reall y this hugeente . yeah.d what talented guy. s yeah, i wish i could. that's in a way that's like kilmeade like what? w.

>> somebody talking about him. d let me know.in i'll take care of that.g to b that's my turf. i think that i think that steltr gordon's going to be my new stelter unless he unless he? stops. >> he retires. yeah he is isn't he. >> what he's doing. he's british. . you you. yeah. i got rid of him like i got ride of everybody else.rt>> might i suggest colbert greg: h. the he's next. >> i don't know. you know him and i we go way back . i need him on the street oncelkb and he's on the 26th today and he just up by and we're like this. t all right. up next, you'll be glad we our business jokes from the other day. we wer when we started our business. our business. >> we're paying like an arm and a leg foi war the postags p i remember setting up shop station. it two clicks. two clicks. everything makes it really is i was printing out labels and saving money. and saving money. ship station it makes it really easy and seamless. picking order, print everything you need. slap the label on the box and it's ready to go there.

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just pay a separate fee call or log on to buy bioactive plus .com. >> greg's leftovers from time once again for leftovers which has just been voted tv's thirdii most popular segment in all of latvia. >> tv. we know that television there and very happy.r segmen my go over there.t in l i don't know, do whatever you do in latvia.e it's where i read the jokesirstm that we didn't use this week.e as always, it's my first timehew reading these. so here goe we go .site oh, god , help me.d president biden visited a baskin robbins this week. making history is the firstweek customer to get a brain freeze before eating the ice cream. >> at a cheaper, perfect.

interestingly, joe has been in politics so long. when he was first elected, baskin robbins only had two flavors. yeah., get a shot, that one offr appear school officials and parents were outraged when a stripperdet appeared during an event at o a michigan high school, although students, prisone brought s were unsure if the stripper should be banned from the premises.ee or brought back for career day. >> meanwhile, the school board says they don't condone such keep sexualized performance at a high school requesting to keep the strippetripper re r show where it belongs in elementary schools. >> late late show host james corden was banned from a swanky manhattan eatery. it's cordin second restaurant, banned since his carpoolit's con karaoke got stuck in the driveis thru at taco bell. >>carpool yeah, researchers atr university are being criticized

for creating a new strain of covid-19 that killed 80% of the test mice, said a spokesperson for the mice. >> me, me, me, me, me, me, that was funny. huh? that's what you call an audible. that was better in the punch line that wasn't ina harris the prompter. vice president kamala harrishirn hired an unprecedented thirdie head speechwriter, but she says she's not worried this timehe eh around because she found someone with a perfect grasp laf the english language. us senate hopefullly reco john fetterman says he's almoste fully recovered from the stroke he suffered back in may. that h. fetterman then thanked his wife and parents w fetterman then thanked his wifep and parents who never wavered inallowanc their payment of his allowance. >> he also credited his quickuik recovery to apple cider vinegar and coffee bean supplements he saw on the dr. oz showsuppleme.a

but that's a good. a texas landlady says she can't rent out her property, a 19th century brothel, because it's haunted byit's ghosts. years that's nothing. i've been having with a ghost for 50 years, said the first lady. >> oh, no, a new study finds nhl players are overwhelminglymt white. meanwhile, the league mentioneip their previous initiative to gett, butk zamboni drivers they kept getting pulled over by the cops. >> funny because it's true. ita we think. last week in italy, a man bra played the saxophone while undergoing a nine hour braindoca him.ery to remove a tumor. doctors carefully monitored him and when they enjoyed a tuned, they threw a dollar in hissk skull. >> good one .

detroit bahah blasted voters during an episode view stating their focus on the economy is sad and depressing. s sainstead, she recommended vog do what she does in difficult times. focus on donuts too easy.lly, ti finally, this week, president biden erroneously promoted a nonexistent tax credit at tax cr for coffee mac. in his defense, a hot brown liquid was on his mind and in his pants. we'll beu. don' rightt go away.you remembeh we'll be right back . hey, i just got a text from hey, i just got a text from my sister. >> you remembe r rick , her neighbor? sure. sure. he's the 76 year old guy who still runs marathons, right? right? >> sadly so sud, not anymore. >> what you mean just like >> what you mean just like that? >> wow. so sudde no, wen we're not aboo

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the beginning, but that's a lie. but she's been a great value contributor to this show. she puts up with my insanity. ti part of my insanity is having this studio at like sixty degrees, freezing everybody. t awar and also, you guys aren't aware of this at home. i rush everythg in order to break reco but i rush everything to in sho ramone's shoak records. we try to get the show as tightp as possible, just like a ramones show.t so good luck, nina! and she's the one that tries to keep it going. >> so good luck, nina . may you always be in the dark like that. >> chadwick, you tell me a little bit about your book. sent yeah, it's called so you've been sent to diversityity tr training. and , you knowaining?", i just talked to workers from all across america. i talked to retailica, retai sae workers, guys on oil rigs, police officers abouth de their experience training. an it'idea.

and what it's going this is a>>e great idea. g: this is ai mean, it's real rt re it's real.it. i would just i would just sayat, becaus thannd not report on it. i'm going to read that because it's a great idea. >> true! thank you. thank you. all right. thank by that book. you, ju and if you don't, you're probably a homophobe. sure.as thank you. julie banderas will chat. shadowfax if our studio audience watches and david gergen, 60%, i love you. oh, everybody. >> i'm jesse watters along jud with judge jeanine pirro, harold ford jr., katie pavlik and jimmy failure. failure. it's five o'clock in new york city. this is th e five presidenttrying biden trying to midterm's pivot to save his part m y from a red wave wipe out. of americans ar a majority of americans are in t. n what the joe doesn't have a clue on what they care about. 63% wish you would pay