>> poor a little. he looked-- >> look at that. look at that. happy wednesday, everyone. stop it. stop it. we got to do a show.

it's great to be back in the free republic of florida. thank you for receiving us with open arms. even at they're covered with black sabbath tattoos and about 77 sunscreen. let's cover some news before we get the monologue. an american trapped in ukraine for eight months says he evaded russian troops by pretending to be irish. in other words, he was drunk. comedian gallagher sadly has passed away at age 76. his family scheduled a private ceremony followed by smashing him with a giant hammer. we had to show the picture of the watermelon. >> amazon announced giving his fortune to charity praise it

hunter biden ticket get most of his fortune to charity, summer and the other girls dancing the wednesday night shift. texas is sending a new box of migrants to the sanctuary city of philadelphia. sparking outrage from migrants who packed for martha's vineyard . quote, this isn't what i signed up for said it one refugee name it baidoa warwick. the department of energy as it did protecting heating bills will jump 28 percent this winter . not as long as my finger is around to be polled said eric small well. let's do a monologue that discussed your? >> people believing the blue states in droves to come up here . even a aoc visited with her

boyfriend perhaps it to air out his nasty feet. look at those things. last time i sotillet that that ugly i was watching jurassic park. and for the most part let the leaders are too stubborn to admit it's their garbage policies sent people fleeing like cat from the cops. here is that new york governor kathy hoke oh. >> the bright spring spring government back to the people and out of the hands of dictators. we are here to say that the era of trump and bizzell and mln ar jump on a bus and head down to florida where you belong. get out of town. you don't represent our values. you are not new yorkers. >> we took your advice and here we are.

let's hope she did not follow a down here on her broomstick. it seems a lot of people are taking her advice. just not about her eyebrows. it gives her that surprised loo on her face like when you accidentally sit down on a child's toy. i said accidentally. >> maybe she is as shocked as w are that she one if it is the braska any higher they would turn into wings. she's the embodiment of the fla of the last stinky everything they think should be a negative about florida is something is people where probably like a re white and blue speedo. for example, when governor desantis ended the covid lockdown and opened up businesses and schools in place like new york said to have bloo on your hands. we got to keep our kids at home and masked up and double zoom and a triple mask if jeffrey toobin is on the call be back while florida was pushing to ge

kids into school learning place like san francisco where renaming schools into che guevara elementary allergy men hi sounds pretty good. >> the results of florida is doing great but kids and other states can't have and subtract because they're to two grade levels behind. it's a bad the average freshman is reading at a joy behar level. meanwhile, i just hired a sixth-grader from fort lauderdale to management estate. which is mostly bronze coins from roseman capital. thanks to biden my four o one k is up for a one not. the kids and lockdown states that there are so stupid this year's most popular boy's name was bozo. that's what you get when you have a system that believed in government more than the people it governs. florida is the opposite. it's ground zero for parents

rights. you don't have a beef with drag queens you just don't want them in preschool teaching them to work. >> i say wait until it's age-appropriate like the fifth grade when it never sex educators teaching in the paddock on them on a banana blindfolded. but if you want to have a voice in your education and floated there on your side. what about law and order during the cup--against against looters . what was that? somebody had a coronary translation, shoot them if you got them. >> the only way to reduce looting. in other cities the redefined theft as we just be sure and which is the just in from of th is in. you're driving to times square you will see the sign. you can't walk through times square after being assaulted by a disney character.

thanks to bill away from, micke mouse is back on the street before you could say winnie the pooh. who is the sign for? the armed criminal? it can't be the average thug ne york can't read. since he likely went to the public schools it's a perfect example of liberalism they create more laws of the law-abiding unaware that criminals are defined by not following laws. especially when their neighbor jailed. at nyc you don't get a slap on the rest when you're caught you get a pat on the back and released. handcuffs and more in my bedroo this year than the nypd has all year. that's how he likes it. also you ever notice how people who hate florida say the states map looks like a? so what manhattan is shaped lik it hurt.

the kind you see in a sidewalk outside starbucks. they call that a ben t. florida has great beaches of of fliptop babes in thongs and thankfully most are women. yet nothing looks worse in a thong than a chicken has what looks like the outline of florida and her banana hammock. a new yorker, the beaches are a cross between acc sushi bar and a needle exchange program way passed hepatitis c by now it's hep lm nlp last and florida you got gorgeous wildlife and tropical birds two delightful dolphins in new york you got pigeons with rap sheets fish with adderall addictions and rats with gang tattoos and even they are thinking about retirin here. and you them? can you blame them?

let's welcome tonight's guests. that's a judge loves to talk. cohost of the five. he's making florida are better for women blushing over his, cohost fox and friends weekend. this is her first trip to florida without the ankle monitor. >> when her hurricane season is here [indiscernible] judge, it's kind of like a win-win. people come from new york and are happy and i think local is

happy because she knows that there are republicans. >> what the only people left in new york are democrats there happy they can just afford the 24-dollar bananas. >> has a far as that was from another show. in addition to that she wants i no republicans too feel comfortable in new york. if you believe in law and order she does not want to deal with you. go to florida or another state they believed that criminals be criminals and that's the end of it. >> that's it and that's all i got to say. >> you look great as always i'm glad my workout has really helped you. >> it has you have a lot of kid are you planning on having more? moving here? >> we consider that although we moved to tennessee florida was

in the writing should be in the writing things are so bad in ne york that all the republicans left new york and moved to florida. >> yet lee selden with no republicans almost wins. >> because democrats are-- liberals with any sanity say i don't want to get mugged like my taxes to go to something . my boy should not be told they're a girl. at that stuff eventually adds up . had may there's hope for new york but i don't think anyone here is going back there to hel it. >> watching this game from new york and his lowball i have at their young people left new yor because they can put up with being mugged and certain circumstances about them at a certain age it's like now. i gave you the best years of my life i'm out of this relationship it's like leaving an abusive relationship. >> out of the getty young peopl

as like i could put up with big mild i don't think so but the mocking i can't put up with or that i am sick of is the state income tax. everybody here is smile like that's great but i also worry i might have fit in because i'm not the smile he asked about maybe that's because i'm sick o being stolen from him the state every single day. i wouldn't mind getting have my income taken away if i saw something from it. but i don't. >> you don't go outside and it smelled horrible all the time. >> i like that. i enjoy the new york smells because heights mine. >> i wouldn't even touch water for days. >> gutfeld, i have an issue wit something you said you had the gall as a married man sega didn't mind giving away half of

your money. as if you had a have to give. that's hilarious. if she still taking it all. whatever. >> what i would like to see new york is a nice place to visit and i will never live there. we need to as republicans or conservatives or adults who can actually do things in front of the camera, we need to start teaching these liberals how to speak because i'm running out o ideas. we get come all of of joe just sit back and watch but the new she can't talk either and she has that thing with her hand where she tries to push her way through her stuff and then they're gonna leave to florida they're gonna go which tells me that she doesn't even believe [ bleep ] what she says. >> i have to say this stuff but

please take me with you they cannot believe that anyone was bitten in new york lately is like this is great. this is awesome. unless of course you're a criminal who just got arrested and the cop says where would yo like us to drop you off that th only way you can stop a crimina is if they step in human poop and slip. that's a really good helpful tip . i surround my entire apartment with human poop. i urge everyone to do the same. >> disgusting i know. up next with donald trump fail without a bunker on trail?

i was injured in a car crash. i had no idea how much my case was worth. i called the barnes firm. when a truck hit my son, i had so many questions about his case. i called the barnes firm.

it was the best call i could've made. your case is often worth more than insuran call the barnes firm to find out i could've made. what your case could be worth. we will help get you the best result possible. ♪ the barnes firm, injury attorneys ♪ call one eight hundred,est resul eight million ♪ >> will john be able to dump it without a bunker trumpet?

you bunker is staying home with the kids. you heard the news of former president donald trump is announced he will compete in th 2024 olympics and the non- binary senior only parasailing dry competition. he's got a good shot at the golda quilting to his coach. i kid or do i? he actually announced he's running for president this time around, he won't be doing with it if anke. trump's help or by penances sparkling personality. the former first daughter and says she's done with politics and will play no part in her dads at twentytwenty twentytwenty for camping. instead she's doing her support behind a proven when stacy abrams. >> kidding she said she wants t prioritize her young children i their private family life which makes it has since don't rich people have sermons for that? young children ruin everything. that's why i keep them in the woods i teasing in a statement,

while i will always love and support my father going forward i will do so outside the political arena. i will always be proud of many of our ministrations accomplishments and quote is ou administrations it seems like a mixed signal you're proud of something you want nothing to d with sounds like that movie i made in tijuana with eric estrada. >> controlling herself. knowing a bunker on the campaig trail? does that mean she's not really in it to when it? i wonder what biden has to say. >> look a bunker can come work for me i could use her in my campaign i wanted to smell her head for some time now. sorry that's disrespectful. i wanted to smell her brain. and it may be i have a job for her husband too, jared.

that guy jared he's a go-getter he lost all that weight by eating nothing but subs seem images. at those up ready for my team. come on down. >> pete let's be honest. what do you make it--do you think a bunker is not into the third of fourth run? remember, he ran years ago the reform party or something like that in the '90s. >> he thought about it he never really do think she's like. >> they've been through a littl bit. if you consider the kitchen sin at that throughout the trumps over the last seven years. really you have to factor that in she's got a family she has two make your own personal choices it's well-known she did not always support that you sai

we could bring our kids? >> i hope they're grounded later . >> that is not my child. >> let me ask you this what bothers me is i feel like the democrats are more thrilled by his announcement that the republicans are and that scares me a little bit. >> because at they attribute th lots in the midterms in there wasn't a loss we got the house in the senate is basically the same this point and we still have georgia that won't change anything anyway and so they assume champ is the reason we didn't get that four seats in the senate so therefore trumpet would be bad luck for the republicans and so the democrat are going to use him and say it's trumpets mega trumpets the mega people and that they think no one will vote for him but th

amazing part is i just want to say something about a bunker. she's an incredible mother. she really is as wealthy and unsuccessful as they are, she i close to her kids. they went through hell. financially emotionally it was hell for them and they kept trying to do good things and that they got kicked in the. >> on the way out. what's the incentive to combat? there is something different quiet daddy is talking try to control yourselves i know we ar wonderful. >> i egg had a question but i think it's a good thing. i have watched his speech closely and i noticed a change. i noticed a huge change. the one thing that was shocking but seemed like a humble

president trump and i think he' eliminating all the attack pieces. his family won't be a part of it . they lost that narrative becaus we know this administration their family has nothing to do with what's going on in politic and foreign policy. >> i think what you are seeing is he is streamlining a lot of his family is going to step bac and let him make it about us hi message was its our country. if they don't have a bunker i bunker you take away the stuff to make lies about they just have to deal with what the deed i have encouraged my speech and courage by his family support the only thing i would say is you have to get jared kushner involved because he was phenomenal. >> i was not a fan of jared at first.

>> at the abraham but this is a different climate. there wasn't no desantis involved in the santos is one o the strongest candidates going. they all seem to agree. i think i've got to get me some of those young children. >> as a child childless woman and her mid- 30s when i don't want to do something i have to be creative are say i don't wan to do it. if you have young children you could be like no i would but i doting mother. >> i hate that. >> there is now maternity leave. have you ever done paternity leave. >> i've never knew both missed that that boat i could never se that when i was growing up that was a regular thing. >> i would say this every time

they countered the amount every time they consensus in the establishment and the media has said it's not donald trump, the people have responded especiall when his messages on. >> take a watch we must move on up next why can't the time to get a handle of the crypto currency scandal?

welcome back. it's yet another level of scandal that for the press is too hot to handle. the media gushed over sam while he made a billion-dollar scam. new york times and catching hea from lifting a piece on sam brinkman freed. unless you are as as i am and i think you are, you'll recall he's the founder of ftx a crypt exchange which recently implode after it was discovered he been riding his investors stealing

billions of from millions of customers and donating a fat check to democrat causes. although the defense and then was spent on personal grooming products. sam was touted as a hero by the left and dems were happy to mil him from his work. based on the looks of things that, sam had plenty of milk to go around. maybe he's transitioning the old-fashioned way. by eating so much ice cream is it [ bleep ] explodes. here is how the media portrayed a b for his company collapsed. >> sam is not a traditional billionaire because he believes in the concept of current to give running to give his thinking about which causes which charities save the most lives of her dollar. >> next year he's planning to donate $500 million a year.

that's next decade he will probably give away more than $10 billion. yet he is funding everything yo can think of. global warming. >> one of the biggest problems we have to tackle together covi 19 preparedness is. >> we have to be ready for the next pandemic and of course animal welfare in the animals deserve the live just like we do . that's right. i know this is an old reference but it looks like a cross between nancy and sligo. yet? won't be able to unseat it. he gave us a list of every caus of that gives liberals tingles all it's missing is it finds it to wreak g chalk straps undocumented drag queens plus it's easy to be generous with other people's money. that's why i tip it big after woolly panhandler now, the time

releases this article and playing at down like the time i went told the guy living in the spare bedroom was just a friend. nowhere in the article was the work fraud mentioned or crime are obvious and completely [ bleep ] instead it a benevolent businessman who simply got in over his head. just like the hair and makeup team for the beer. they're desperately trying to polish it heard. >> this is really about the fraud of virtue not just fraud but how sick nothing injectable is a product. >> it's always a fraud. you say things that sounded nic but you don't practice any of them i still think cat had the light of the are describing saying nobody in their 20s are that ugly. >> [indiscernible] and it when you she basically

low-grade appointment movie videos about yourself, we understand why someone--ending when sit there and talk about you it takes a well moron to do that again, let's see who at bank accounts empty when it's over because if it's a part of the democratic base, there cannot have a problem when they don't get that money back. >> the only thing i'm concerned about is republicans tend to be on the front end of new ways of earning and making money and i' afraid we might've got the shaf i myself invested like $600. if you so my allowance at home you know it's a lot of money fo me. >> i got out $600 i got out i got up to seven that's a good enough. >> it's not bit queens all?

see i'm glad to but more about the people who bought into this because it sounded like a liberal dream into virtue. >> because it's obviously nobod is a perfect person and he's like i care about all people an all animals and only mi from that the best i'm also began an at my car is a toyota because i'm not into that either. he nobody can actually be that at up anybody is presenting themselves they're a sociopath who's really good at pretending. >> i agree. yet i don't any good people i don't either. first of all if you look at thi guy and he really wants you to believe he's a vegan, that body so he's lying right off the bat. that's number one. and that number to what i want

to know is what's the connectio between him the democratic part and all of these values he has and why is ukraine in the discussion? i get that was a long. >> i didn't want to say it i wanted them to say it. how dare you but in addition to that, how do you get tom and gisele and steph curry and all those guys to come and say this is great don't they have some liability? why did they just jump in matt damon who is almost as as good-looking pete--why did i do that? because steph curry might be a great basketball player and tom brady can throw a football but it doesn't mean they're smart i doesn't mean they know more about stuff so you got the new york times and the democratic party and a bunch of billionaires in the bunch

athletes and they all decide this company is legit except no one looks under the hood becaus he given plenty of insurance money to the democrats and he knows with doing that the mime cover for him so if he gets int trouble they will get from the articles that say it got a little ahead as opposed to the view was republican donor he'd be the fraudster of a century. with a six, byline that's how the system works that's why the new york times article was so boring it's amazing how journalists find sex and drugs into corruption boring. that's the most interesting things just saying. >> wait another week when peopl start coming forward in their lives are ruined and destroyed. this was a pure med scheme and he arrived people of their lives . everyone thinks they can get it back. they're still going through it so where is that? where did he hide it it was always big loan stuff we gotta

move on if he had a few girlfriends or was a lot to spread around coming up due to inflation the meets invitation, stick around

welcome back. if the economy is a murky sous vide baked turkey but with the pilgrims of find absurd to eat place for a recent survey found that 64 percent of people that 64 at a hundred say they might opt for pam plant -based turkey due to the rising price of meat. also there insane lust for killing plants. the only reason vegetarians eat plants is because plants it can't run away and vegetarians are too lazy t stuff with legs. this year the average turkey will cost us 17 percent more compared to last year.

i should've bought this year's turkey last year. for next year when i fix my tim machine. a's america the streets are paved with tofu with emphasis o f you while you're giving thank to round the dinner table next week remember that the child by the gangs of uneaten and great turkeys roaming the streets whe in cranberry sauce as schoolchildren. >> cap do you have plans for thanksgiving is anybody there going to be eating a plant plan alternative? >> probably not neither eddie's people the survey said to added three people are considering it does not mean they're going to do it. you don't do everything you you consider at that's how you go t jail be back i worry what will become of the targac and which actually kills three birds with one stone. >> that's true and no one that before the targac in every

really get popular? it is at my house it's a chicke and a duck in a turkey. >> i think people are trying to condition people to one to welcome the plant alternative. i was on a plane recently they offered a meal and said okay yo can have the chicken or the beyond because unlike just made the decision format have to do the chicken because of my eatin the plant meatballs but they want you to think it's the way it's going to be. i think it's part of the response of people feel like they have to say of course if it's high-end that i would do the plant i don't really want a plant turkey. >> will not be fighting a pete was secretly a vegetarian? had not even a vegetable in three weeks up your yard. >> when you think about it this is kind of it--playful assume plants don't have feelings but they do have a consciousness of their sales move in a direction.

>> i into to my plants i to the and they feed them their beautiful. >> what do you think. >> i don't know i just saying. >> i want to fell mother. >> i want to be one of her plants. >> i've got to tell you have yo ever had the plant plant -based food? i had it once i thought i'd kil myself. it was horrible. it's awful. just eat the meat they don't want you to eat the meat they are eating the turkey they just don't want you to. >> i'm agreeing with you. i have a feeling that a turkeys had brains that they'd want as to eat them and add their miserable lives there unattractive beasts they're ver watery to be ever been chased b a turkey? >> i've never been chased by anything. >> you are top of the foodchain here's the deal turkeys might

cost more but the little plant -based turkey cost a lot and no to mention it scorched-earth to grow the little plants that the kill everything close to the ground it to gloat grow it. it's not cute it like a baby co but killing every cobra snake cricket every little small body anything that lives in or under the ground it to greg little plants and all the money it costs and other subsidies as a turkey might be 70 percent but would you bother that sawdust a the like a bird who molds it to make it look like a dead body? if you're going to make plant -based something make it like a [ bleep ] why do you have to mimic it? if that's so great, if it's so wonderful, why does it taste like the lord blessed it why no make it what it really is a pil of [ bleep ]

why make it look like this dead thing you're trying to save. that makes no sense to me. >> if you are not going to go out and hunted and bring it because turkeys are top they're not easy to shoot down. if you're going to do all that that might make it look like th body of the thing you're supposedly trying to say? that's amazing i like that you buy a burger it's not shaped like a cow. but if you buy a veggie burger is shaped like a cow burger because if you saw what it really looked like, you would not eat it. there's also i was gonna make a analogy that would probably get me fired. >> up next, if you're not proved >> up next, if you're not proved , you could see a movement

i was injured in a car crash. i had no idea how much my case was worth. i called the barnes firm. when a truck hit my son, i had so many questions about his case. i called the barnes firm. it was the best call i could've made. your case is often worth more than insuran call the barnes firm to find out i could've made. what your case could be worth. we will help get you the best result possible. ♪ the barnes firm, injury attorneys ♪ call one eight hundred,est resul eight million ♪

's to re-words of. a story and five words. >> here is a story invite words. disney reinstates daryl hannah has a bot. that's like my favorite five board story ever. i'm going to explain what that story as it. i like the fact that you were

counting. i came up with in a car i was going daryl hannah's butt, disney lights. it disney has restored it daryl hannah has exposed it butt in the movie splash after using cg to partially cover it. could this be the best at that disney has done for america ever ? >> no pr yet of all and never saw the baby. >> you know what it's about? >> yes it's a guy that falls on the but a mermaid she kid he kisses her and she goes. >> that's the amazing mr. lebed. >> i did not see the movie. >> it was an amazing film where he wants to be a fish and that thank you fans. yet and at the end he leaves hi wife for a cartoon fish how

twisted is this? i'm not happy with disney you think about should be covered? we often talked about doing thi with your butt. now they restored her butt but now it's behind a parent lock feature i bet you never thought you'd have to talk about this is . >> most of what disney puts out for children should be behind the parent felt at this point t unfortunately. i too have not seen splash i thought at first daryl hammons but was shown? saturday night live but then i got it. whatever. i think at the film people to pay for it fine but at this is an improvement for disney plus, it shows you how they have fallen. >> did you ever see this may be? of course not but this is

honestly the wrong time for thi at the but market is way oversaturated. it's not hard to see a but anymore it's getting kind of hard not to not see a bot. be back your right the but is i basically so interesting that people are fascinated by bots when you consider what the function is. >> nobody considers it more tha you do. >> i do. i think about it a lot it's lik i keep thinking about how god created a human being why that had to be part of it. shouldn't you just not have to get it mighty up to put stuff i your mouth and it comes out the other end? what that it was reversed what if it went up? what if it went up? no more. >> no more. i am glad her but is back it's the first about size lot as a child. i talked about you my brother

like one day i'm good have one of those. >> you admire it for walking. she walked in that beach on mik while she walks really well. that's good walking. daryl hannah was like a gazelle. last time at ridgemont high. splash the first time i saw tha i will die on the hill first time i saw a bot was shot, raised. >> not goldfinger when he playe robin hood. >> that's the first time? i think mine was dances with wolves cost or. >> see what i mean. everyone has their first about moment. i'm so glad i had daryl hannah. >> i guess we should go. we could keep talking. it. >> i think we should stop.

>> we believe that to special report don't go away. we will be right back. makes you wonder... what will they do for an encore? ♪ this is the sound of better breathing. fasenra is an add-on treatment for asthma driven by eosinophils. it helps prevent asthma attacks, improve breathing, and lower use of oral steroids. fasenra is not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. fasenra may cause allergic reactions. get help right away if you have swelling of your face, mouth and tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur.

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>> we are out of time, thank you to our audience! plus trace gallagher who is not drunk, i'm greg gutfeld and i am getting drunk. >> trace: good evening everyone and welcome to america's latest news, i'm trace gallagher in los angeles. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight, democrats one-party rule is over, that from republicans who now control the house and despite president biden saying he wouldn't change a thing, now apparently he wants to change a lot and will work with republicans to get it done.