and generally on those shows i'm inside so this is a really long show. tune in for the next couple of hours to watch me progressively get crankier and crankier. >> jason: just love that. i'm jason in for laura ingraham. have a wonderful merry, merry christmas and a wonderful happy new year. gutfeld! is up next. [cheers and applause] >> happy friday. i'm tom in for gutfeld. busy learning origami and how to turn it back into regular paper. that's a very specific skill. good for him. let's welcome tonight's guests.

she's so southern she's president of the smoky and the bandit fan club. fox business anchor david mcdowell. he used to rock. now he's in the aarp. comedian jim -- she knows reporting like hunter knows snorting. "new york post" busy reporter -- moynihan and by age 5 he was reminding his classmates to tip the weight staff. writer and comedian jode devito. >> it's time for this. >> greg's leftovers. >> yes. it's leftovers. when i read the jokes we didn't use this week. just like greg does this this is my first time reading these. here we go.

a viral video is facing online backlash after a construction worker was seen kicking a food delivery robot. the robot is facing a battery charge. earlier this week twitter uses voted for elon must to come resign as his company's c.e.o. although a subsequent report revealed that 90% of the votes came from hunter biden's laptop. [laughter] >> actor robert deniro was shocked to find -- his apartment being robbed on woman. usually when a black woman takes stuff it's after the divorce proceedings. >> that's what i thought would you say. kellyanne conway was spotted having dinner with disgraced former governor of new york, cuomo. she said settle in it was important to reach out to him after he reached out to so many

women. [laughter] >> transgender sex fender -- was arrest add 15 months after exposing himself in a l.a. spa. residents say if he wanted to expos himself, he should do the decent thing, become a movie producer. beverly hills 90210 star tory spelling was hospitalized after having difficulty breathing and experiencing dizziness. doctors said they know she's not faking the symptoms because they have seen her acting. [laughter] >> that was a compliment, right? i think it was >> according to a new study, ai could help us to predict future pandemics, like earthquakes. scientists have created a gel sheet that's three times more absorbent than paper towels. thank god, said president

biden's live-in nurse. wow. that was for greg, i think. we should have saved that one for him. for the second year in a row philadelphia has recorded 500 murders. out of respect, philly mayor jim kenny has changed the city's name to chicago. [laughter] >> out of respect. >> and finally, $1.7 trillion omnibus spending bill will name the san francisco federal building after nancy pelosi, and this is a nice touch. any renovations will be completed by the same construction workers who built her face. [applause] >> yeah. okay. and now some real news. remember when they looked you in the iris and said exercise won't help the virus. turns out they were wrong. a new study finds regular exercise helps protect against

severe covid infection. this ground breaking research was published in the no dumb, moron. it's well established that a healthy diet along with a healthy exercise boosts immunity. yet during the pandemic the experts closed the gyms and the parks. when you think about it most of what the experts have told us in these past several years is totally wrong. experts said russia colluded with trump in 2016. they didn't. the experts said climate change would destroy the planet by 2012. it didn't. they said vaccines would stop infection. they didn't. and they said they were better than natural immunity. they aren't. they said masks don't harm kids. they do. they said if i took over red eye it would get canceled. [laughter] >> okay. scratch that one. and yet people still say things like i'm going to trust the experts on this, and, tom, are

they going to go with their credentialed opinion, thank you very much but the guy who is an expert on that virus in the petri dish is almost never an expert on other things like how to run a business, educate a child or live a healthy life so when people ask me, do you really think you're smarter than the experts, of course i am. of course. their track record stinks. [applause] >> that's a period -- i mean, the experts have a pretty bad track record, do they not? >> i call it dipstick science. that sounded really red neck for some reason. it happens when i say dipstick. much of this, there is no provable link that one thing directly causes another. it's like saying people who own yachts have perfectly beautiful teeth. it's not because somebody owns a

yacht, that their teeth look beautiful. it's because they are stinking rich enough to own a yacht, that they are stinking rich enough to go out and get rid of their royal family tea and get some really good veneers that don't look like chicklets. and we've all had experiences that's just as good as this dipstick says in these newspaper articles, like everybody has an uncle kin who has lived off a diet of flaming hot funnions and fellow yellow for the last three years and uncle hasn't gotten covid. that doesn't mean anything, you just have a uncle with a horrible diet that people refuse to associate with. >> it's true. >> but joe, they say you can't follow -- that's anecdotal. we have to follow the science but the science has definitely

been proven wrong in so many instances and the reason we initially knew that it was wrong is because it wasn't our lived experience. no, that's not happening with my friends or family. you guys obviously don't know what you're doing and then a year or two later we're proven right. >> here's the question. if you think you're an expert ask yourself this. have you ever made a tik tok dance video? and if you have, you're no longer an expert in anything, you're a jack ass. joe rogan was right because joe rogan is a very practical guy. he said if you want to be healthy, exercise. if you want to fight covid take vitamin d. but the experts, they are not experts in anything practical. they are credentialed and they tend to see themselves as only what their credential gives them. if they are an expert in race they saw covid as a race issue. of course, if you're not obese and if you exercise and you breathe fresh air, you will be a healthier person. but when you're an expert in one thing it's like the old saying,

if your only tool is a hammer everything looks like a nail especially if you're paul pelosi. >> very true. jim, i think that's the perfect description. people are, they are myopic. they focus on only one thing but we have a lived experience that's much wider than that so maybe we don't want to just concentrate on living our lives to avoid the virus. maybe we know we are healthy so we want to get the virus and get on with our lives. we can make that decision, right? >> it's a fascinating study. healthy people are healthier than unhealthy people. all that time, they closed the gyms, but they left the liquor stores open but meanwhile, i was in home dee bo with 47 other

people online, but they held their breath so no one was spreading it there but also in the article it says if you just exercise 11 minutes per week that you will be fine that will help. not catch covid in the article. 11 minutes per week. di the math, if i have sex three times in one week with i'm fine. >> 11 minutes a week is literally walking to the frig every day. >> right. so it's 1:20 every day times seven would be 11 minutes and then you're fine. >> eat another scoop of ice cream. another couple of minutes. >> were you surprised that they even published this study? shouldn't they be embarrassed. there was that famous guy in new jersey and he got arrested because he wanted to keep his gym open. >> it's pretty wild and three years later we're finally calculating and putting the pieces together that exercise is a good thing, but i think experts really, especially somebody who is in the reporting world, an expert is somebody who

says something that a journalist wants to highlight and agrees with. so if you have a certain bias, you want to write a certain piece, you can call five or 10 people, one of them is surely going to agree with them and you're going to include them in the article and they will suddenly become an expert. the other thing here, i think, we sort of need to have a newton's law for news. for every study there is an equal and opposite study that says something completely different. >> that's newton's law. >> yes. think about it. think about it. it's like last week we learned that eating chocolate is good for you. drinking wine. this week we learn that actually there is lead in chocolate, it's bad for you. so the science is constantly changing and you can find somebody on every single side of the debate who will agree with you. you have to pick your expert. >> it's true. i heard about that latest study. joe, there is lead in my chocolate but only because i always poke my candy with my

pencil. [laughter] >> we only paused because you use a pencil? >> here's where the experts lost me when they said you can't go anywhere. if you go outside you're killing grandma but if you want to go to a blm rally that's fine so you can't say if you want to leave your house for any other reason you're a murderous virus spreader but if it's for a good cause everything is fine. that's nonsense. that's not the science, and you can't say a virus cares about what your political opinions are. the question is always, is this contagious or not? it's a question i've asked many times at the free clinic. they never give you a straight answer. >> you're so right. the scientists say we jump everything because we're smarter than all you people but then when a different science, obviously the racial science, trumps the lab science, and so they knuckle under to them. all right. up next, do the woke want the days of calling them a few good men to come to an end?

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>> jason: the woke object to these terms of respect. they want the few and the proud to stop saying sir or ma'am outlied. a new report suggests the marine corps is thinking about dropping gender language. they should get punished with pushups for that except women suck at pushups. >> sexists would say -- >> be banned from uses phrases like sir or ma'am when addressing superiors.

gender neutral identifiers like a person's rank would become the preferred way to address senior members. the policy recommendation comes from a $2 million study commissioned by the corps which concluded that traditional ways marines address each other could be seen as offensive. and to think the pentagon could have used that $2 million for traditional specifications like $400 hammers and $600 toilet seats. luckily some top brass within the branch are pushing back, refusing to cave to the woke pressure. of course, most active duty service members and veterans know this is garbage. like how even fox employees know greg's bodyguards are just a tax write-off. as for whether the change actually gets implemented remains to be seen. but those inside the corps say just like devito's underwear, it won't be changed overnight. >> joe, how does this happen? you're a writer on the show, how

do these lines get through? >> look, take it up with joe mackey, okay? >> well, dagan, do you think making our military nicer in this p.c. way is a good idea? >> i don't think the sir or ma'am confusion is a new thing. is a 21st century woke issue. and i'm speaking from personal experience. as you can probably see, i have a little too much testosterone. >> jason: what are you talking about? >> i'm flat chested. i have this weird like six pack neck that i look like i have an adam's apple. for more than a decade i had this really short hair cut. i thought i looked like a writer but i looked like vince vaughan. and i wasn't in the marines obviously, but it's really awkward, you know, you're standing in a restaurant and somebody comes up behind you and

taps you on the shoulder and says, excuse me, sir, you're standing on my foot and you turn around and it's your date. so to just get rid of -- just alleviate a lot of pressure and hurt -- >> jason: wow, this is amazing. jim, this is why we have these kind of talk show discussions because people have all sorts of perspectives. i thought everyone would attack this and it may not be an interesting segment. what do you think, are the military on to something with this study? >> first of all, the marine is getting offended by words. maybe they shouldn't be on the front end fighting. i thought the only way to offend a marine is to ask him if he's in the navy. but could you imagine like an alpha male drill sergeant screaming in a recruit's face, do you understand me? yes, he, she, they, them, lgbt,

whatever that is. >> jason: it's so true. i said it in the read, the rank and file or probably most of the leadership wants this. the problem is they hire these consulting firms, none of whom are military types and they make recommendations that would probably work at their dumb company, right? >> the study is the length of -- after three years, $2 million and all that effort they had to come up with something that was provocative and new and interesting, and they landed on this. i don't like being called ma'am but the alternative that they suggested is you just use someone's last name which is very chaotic. i can't remember people's names. it just doesn't have the same ring to it and i think it's a recipe for confusion. there is a lot of confusion as well. are we going to have to change all of the songs to nongender them? like the battle hymn of the

republic? i don't know where this ends. yeah. >> obviously it doesn't end but that's interesting. you don't like being called ma'am. is that something? why? is it old fashion or -- >> it sounds so stodgy, but again, i don't have an alternative. >> southern people are raised to say yes, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, no, sir, and it makes people feel old which i understand now. >> hey, you -- >> that's true, joe, a lot of these recruits, military types, young, southern men, they love the tradition, they want to join the corps because of these traditions, right? >> yes. sir and ma'am are terms of respect, and look at the other things marines call each other. they call each other grunts and jar heads. i can't imagine a marine saying it really hurt me when you referred to me as a jarhead.

>> i think we're just getting close. can we just say, let's just call each other comrade. isn't this what it's all heading toward? can we call each other comrade? we can get rid of titles, get rid of pronounce and say great point, comrade, and we're say that while we're standing on the bread lines and everybody will be much happier. >> jason: i understand your perspective, these troops, they want to experience these traditions, right? they are more traditional type of people, and i think that, the women who go into the military, they are tough. they are not the type that are going to get offended by these things, are they? >> if i was a drill sergeant i would love for the grunts to screw up as much as possible so i would have a reason to yell at them. let them miss gender me so i have a reason --

>> jason: try complaining, right? i think the loss in all of this, the military has been, racially in terms of gender, they were far ahead of the rest of society, so here's to you. up next, need a home? why panic. you can live on a modern day titanic. [applause]

>> jason: can living on a cruise ship be the ultimate road trip? a worker goes out to sea to avoid running into mark z. for $300,000 a 28-year-old mata employee has a place to live for the next 12 years but it's not an apartment. it's the nv narrative. in the works, an ocean liner which is expected to carry around a thousand passengers. as well as the norovirus and legionnaire's disease. the young man says his little

slice of heaven, a 230 square foot studio is just like owning a condo. 237 square feet. i seems small but not if you're like me and sleep standing up. and instead of leaving his place to travel and see the world, the place will go with him. i wonder, austin, have you always been interested in large ships? >> i've always been interested in large ships. i just think they are such a marvel or modern engineering and economics that go into bourng of these ships is unbelievable. i've always read a lot about them, to put it into scope i think the largest passenger ship in the world is the single largest hotel operation in the world. they go through something like 20,000 eggs in a day. >> as the cruise line passes through various european countries he'll continue working for meta, all while enjoying

access to 20 different restaurants, bars and private kitchens, medical services, a farmer's market, private kitchen and 24-hour room service. kind of like twitter's offices before elon took over. the ship is scheduled to sail from croatia in 2025. so bon voyage. i'm sure you will enjoy your trip until you're hacked to death by some pirates. dagan, $300,000, i mean, i did the math on. this it not that bad of a deal when you think about it because this guy probably lives in a pricey u.s. city, $300,000 divided over the years, per month, and i think your utilities are pretty much taken care of. what do you think? my gut instinct was to make fun of this guy and make fun of this until i realized that i live on a ship, a hell ship called

manhattan, that never [ bleep ] goes anywhere. >> this hell ship is overrun with rats and rodents, and i'm just stuck here. it's like willard and dawn of the dead without laughs. my father likes to remind me that the woman who provides him with fresh eggs, that her chicken coup is quite bit larger than my apartment. but like on a cruise ship, you can't get away from people. that's the reason that i have never been on a cruise ship, but the same is true for the hell ship on which we're sailing right now. the same is true for new york city. trust me on this. if you key somebody's car in a crosswalk because they cut you off, they don't forget about that. and they recognize you. 20 years later. if you key their car.

you better always have running shoes on. you better always have running shoes on if you've keyed somebody's car. like in 2002. >> that perspective, though, lydia, is so true. when i saw this story i thought it was a good deal but then i thought i couldn't do it. i couldn't be out in the ocean all by myself but the way dagan says it, it's very similar, and if you -- remember that rat in the subway walking around with a pizza slice. we all saw that. if you saw that on a ship you would totally freak out but we see that all the time in manhattan. >> i think dagan's seems pretty -- manhattan, i literally, okay, this was my new york horror story. i'm lying in bed one night and at this point i had a guinea pig, and --

>> jason: hold on, okay, go on. >> i'm lying in bed and i feel something soft on my leg. oh, he must have continue out of his cage and wanted to snuggle. she can't get out of her containing. i leap out of bed, i turn on the lie and i see a rat jump from my bed into my closet. >> jason: wow! >> anyway, i think manhattan d.c. but for this kid, moving on, less about me, this kid, i think in this economy, he's basically advertising the fact that he's violently overpaid and he can work from home, and if i'm mark zuckerburg and i'm trying to cut cost at meta i'm going to fire him. i'm going to get somebody who is probably just as good if not better who i can pay less money to, who will show up to the office. i feel like this was a very poor career decision for this kid to

advertise that he's doing this, for 12 years. he's not going to find a girlfriend to do this with. he'll be 40, single, and on a cruise ship. >> jason: you always have a fantasy about how it will go on the cruise but it's very different. joe, i think the last time you said marshmallow you must have continue out of your cage. you weren't talking to a guinea pig. >> the real story here -- >> there was a rat who thought he was going to have a wonderful evening. >> normally when i said, i've kicked rats out of my bed, people don't think i'm saying it literally. but i am. >> this guy, for facebook, he's in the virtual reality department. you know what that means? there is no ship. he's just wearing the stupid thing and he's like, oh, i'm rubbing tanning lotion on somebody. >> there is no ship. complete nonsense. >> i like joe's virtual reality

glasses. >> it shows you with the tech stuff that i know. >> the ship that we saw, it was an artist simulation. they haven't built it net. maybe they are never going to build it. >> here's the other thing about living in a condo. no sharks. you don't have to worry about sharks surrounding your condo. i could see the benefit of this for dating, though, because if this aren't working out, people fall overbothard. i don't know, i watched love boat as a kid and thought, i want to live on a ship someday my main thought was why is the doctor having sex with all the passengers? >> the doc got around on the show. jim, have you played the cruise circuit. never did those cruises? >> my act is too dirty for that not kid friendly, but this guy calling ate condo. it's not a condo. i live in a condo. i never got seasick in my can doe.

plus why would you want to be on the ship anyway because they go to the same ports every week so the guy will be going to the same port every time. i'm going to stay on ship, i already got my souvenir t-shirt. >> that's right. once you've seen these ports. >> the same ports, and then you eat the sail meals three times per day so now you're in a buffet with a bunch of other slobs waiting to eat and then if you have a wife and get into a fight, where are you going to go? you're going to sleep on the poop deck. >> so true. i thought this was a good idea reading the story. now i've turned against it. coming up, they say best actor contenders shouldn't be judged by genders. in the ozempic® tri-zone. in my ozempic® tri-zone, i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. announcer: ozempic® provides powerful a1c reduction. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events

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>> jason: awards show bail on saying male or female? clutch the pearls if you call winners boys and girls. this week in the l.a. times, an op ed suggested it's time to

dish gendered category at awards show like best actor and best actress and in their place something more inclusive like best performer or most willing to work for cocaine. according to the times, the current system is outdated and sexist. but better than the older system where you had to sleep with harvey weinstein. they say other categories like best director and cinematographer are already gender neutral and acting should be no different. award shows for m-tv and the grammys have already switched to gender neutral categories and item miss are currently exploring the idea. the change would shrink the number of academy awards actually available but maybe they will expand the number of winners and just give everyone a participation oscar. on the bright side it does give female performers a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get slapped by will smith. joe, do you think this is a good

idea? is it going that way? i didn't realize the emmys are already doing this? >> i can tell you one thing, country music awards aren't going to do any of this. >> that's right. cma's will keep the traditions, right? . >> exactly. i kind of get it in that, you don't give different gender awards for the tech people or for directors or anything like that but as an actor you're portraying a role that's necessarily male or female most of the time so that's why they split it up that way. when somebody is an accountant, you don't need to say are you an accountant or account ress the shows will them come in at around eight hours instead of 14. men will say, this isn't fair. we need a separate category for women and then they will have that category and all those awards will be won by men who now identify as women.

so it will just keep going around in a circle. >> it's so true. being old school, the academy awards should stick with the tradition. let the newer shows change and then they will have the status of being unchanged. what do you think? >> that would make sense. they are desperately trying to be relevant so in a way this is a cry for attention. people in hollywood are very self-important. they think whatever they do people will care deeply about but the reality is no one is really watching the oscars. 10 years ago, in 2012, 40 million people tuned in, last year in 2022, it was just 15. no one is really going to the movies anymore, so honestly, if this makes them feel better about themselves, i say go for it. live your life. i don't care. i mean, i don't think anybody else does either. >> that's the thing. anybody who is still interested in the oscars, they like to see the old school traditions. they like the gowns. they like the guys showing up in

their tuxes, right? >> i suppose. i watch -- i'm joan rivers, may she rest in peace, her biggest fan. i watch to see people look bad. so even if you get rid of the actress categories, these women still have to wear these god awful gowns. you can be a bag of bones and you're still going to look terrible. nobody is ever going to be famous enough that they are going to be some designers' top pick, and they are going to have like this giant collection of like handlers and sic-fans getting paid well into the six figures who have to con these actresses into thinking, oh, you're the designer's favorite actress. you're their top pick. oh, orange, bright orange is the color of the moment. it looked just fabulous on you.

oh, this is great fit despite the armpit cleavage that's hanging over the sides, and the back -- that we can't cover with make-up, and the bright blazing california sun, you can see all of the zits across your back. so that's what all these women have to endure. >> jason: true. the sunscreen makes me break out. that's why. jim -- >> you don't have to wear strapless all the time. i always feel worse about myself when i watch the oscars. but i will have to pay closer attention next time. >> oh, god, no, these women look terrible and they look worse in person. >> i'll bring the binoculars. >> jim, i think they are moving this way. they don't even say actress anymore. they say best actor in a female role? they have already changed it a bit. >> they should be more specific, best actor who used to be an

actress, like have that category. elliott page would have more oscars than meryl streep. but even oscar alone, shouldn't they change that word, oscars, that's male. >> that's true. >> where did that come from? >> the jack-ese, or something neutral. look at the oscar. that's a guy. that's a dude. >> it looks like he's naked, right? >> you know what statue is identified as -- >> that does look like most men i've been with. [laughter] >> i know who this isn't going to affect? the adult video news awashed for the porn industry. >>, no gender is very important to those people. they should change the categories. they have best actor and best actress and they could change that to, you know, best good-looking actor, and then the best supporting actor and actress could be the best ugly

act to right? isn't that the way it goes down usually. >> you're talking about the adult video news awards? some of those are group awards. up next, will tempers will flaring when netflix ends password sharing?

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>> a story in five words. >> jason: netflix, no more password sharing. do you get it? netflix, they used to like it. now they have to crack down on it because they are going through a revenue shortage because people keep cancelling their service. is this the answer for them? >> i think this is healthy for me. i watched 10 hours, actually 20 because i watched it twice, of the jeffrey dahmer mini-series. so that's 20 hours, and then i watched the dahmer tapes twice, so 26 hours on jeffrey dahmer. i just need to start going back out like normal people and watching tv in bars. where i can actually meet potential dahmers. like regular folks. [laughter] >> jason: that's right. joe, netflix, i don't know if it's the password sharing that's going to get them out of the

mess they are in. every show needs a show, like the game of thrones, kevin spacey show, they got rid of him and the show went down the tubes so they don't have a signature show anymore. >> first, i would like to say no christmas dinner at dagan's place since she's been working nonstough jeffrey dahmer. the only time i hear the password issue come up is when there is a breakup. what do you is you go on to the netflix account with that password and watch the worst movies you can find for the first couple of minutes because then it screws up the other person's recommendations so what you've done then, if they come home, the film festival, how did this happen? i got him on the way out. >> such a weird way to get revenge. usually you steal from them or something like that lydia, the password thing, you know, it can get you into trouble. like i went on vacation and then

i put my password in so i could watch netflix while i was away for one week, but i forgot to change it and whoever came in was watching on my thing so netflix thinks i'm some kind of jerk because they were watching all these horror movies. >> i've been able to stream hulu on a lot of trips. i think this is great progress in society because i think netflix password sharing has enabled pair sit tal toxic relationships for far too long. you would never let somebody just move into your apartment and not pay rent. yet i have friends who feign poverty who guilt me into giving them my password and i don't want to do that anymore and i think this will put a stop to it. i think people need to get their own passwords, their own accounts, like adults, and move on with their lives. i think 2023 is off to great

start because of this. >> lydia, does marshmallow have your password? is that what happened? >> marshmallow passed away. >> wow! >> i thought i could just slip that one in and it would be innocent. guess not. jim -- >> i could get marshmallow's password now. [laughter] >> her instagram account lives on, but -- >> i make sure i follow her. >> do you still pay for netflix? >> i do but in the article netflix is worried that people will be mad that they can't share the passwords. people were stealing, and we're at the point where you're going to be mad because people were stealing and people stealing are going to be mad that they can't steal anymore? how did we get to this point? >> people think they have a right to it. >> the riots of 2020 in the summer, just stealing, watching it on tv, oh, they have got insurance. let them steal. there is insurance, i'm going to do that i'll go to a sporting

goods show and have a kayak on my shoulder, i'm not going to pay for it. you've got insurance, no problem, yes, we've got insurance. you need help? no i got the bungee cord in my pocket, i'm good. people will be mad at us. >> it's so true. >> we're going to see jim in a kayak with a marshmallow. >> i'm not a kayaker. >> all right. don't go away. we'll be right back. #

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from tom, thank you, and jim and joe devito and you, our studio audience. "special report" is next, on behalf of greg gutfeld, he loves you, america. [ applause ] good evening, i am mike emanuel in for brett baier. more than 200 million people are under weather advisories. sub freezing and sub 0 temperatures and dangerously strong winds. more than a million people have lost their electricity. the conditions are causing havoc for americans traveling for th