reached the sent lment and thank you for standing up. more students of your age and former students should take note. kiersten. thank you. >> that's it for us tonight. thank you for watching. it is america's now and forever. go to laura ingraham.com and check out the latest. "gutfeld" is next. [ applause ] happy news everybody. it is great to see you. let's get right to it. tonight's monologue is all and gender, is that right, elvis? ♪

♪ >> you know when i suggested hey let's play return to sender but it is "return to gender," i expect some verses. they literally just say "return to gender," that's all they did. i am not going to say they nail it in but i am going to say they mail it in. i begin with the 47-year-old single father, renee selenes of ecuador. not to be confused of the guy. renee changed his gender to female. that's smart. not just to excuse his lousy driving. >> oh, texas, would say -- >> is it really that funny, em

emily? >> yes, good. >> why would renee do this? he already had a chick's name. the court system which i experienced which is my child, enrique. i am only seen as a provider, what i am looking for is to give the love and protection that a mother gives her children. excuse me, mother? every here we call it birthing person. you disgusting, trans-phobic pig. renee didn't go out to get a wig llike ll kilmee did. that's where i g gget my ll kilmee did. that's where i g ggeget my hosery. renee lives his day-to-day as a

man because he is one. his lbgtq activists calling his action outloutlandish which raises th question what's inlandish? i don't know. i wish i had that much in mucmuch much inmumuch i children. it is so cute when they work through the night. now onto transgender swimmer, isaac hemic. he's born female but is now a male in competing of the yale team. shrinkage is a cause for concern. you notice these things never happen in schools like

devry's. i guess you don't have sports program when every athlete misses a finger. for a swimmer, he totally sucked. he wrote in "the new york times," "instead i am trying to connect with my teammates in new ways to cheer loudly and focus more on the excitement of the score," excuse me, is that something call like the cheerleader? i could have saved you a whole lot of time. >>wow, at least isaac was once a woman and now a man lost to nearly every man. this is different from swimmerly autonomous who used to be a man and now a woman. isaac is

different. this gender change took her from being the top to being from the bottom. only four dudes finished after him and one of them had only one arm. shoutout to lefty. two cases of gender banning no harm and no foul. the ecuador dad wanted to see his kids and perhaps, he watched "mrs. doubtfire" too many times. these stories of gender makes no sense. this final one does not. it never does. get a load of this doll face, he's a convicted sex offender of crimes against children. he also went by kyle bailey, get this, now he's brandy wood. yes, brandy wood. proven that

criminals use name generators just like the rest of us. wl talk about that later. brandy is identified as an inter-sex female and wants to be transferred to a women's facility. i am not talking about victoria's secret. a here he i. >> let's welcome tonight's guests. the thoughts in his head are so dirty that his own hair ran away. comedian on sirius xm,

jim norton. >> she talks so fast, i keep on thinking i am supposed to bid on a cow. emily compagno. [ applause ] >> she's never been asked to babysit. fox contributor, kat temp. >> and my heavyweight champion, tyrus. >> jim, first of all, i would be remiss if i did not say happen pi new year to my dear friend. i am happy to see you. >> i am so glad that you are one of the few people that knew my name. >> i did. i was surprised. oh, right, got it. i have an answer to your question, by the way. i

am promoting a three-city tour on friday. i am in dallas and on sunday, i will be in landish. >> i love how you decided to piggyback on a joke. >> i know, i made it worse. >> what do you make of the whole prison thing? and it is like why can people in who in administrative jobs not see this is obvious. >> first of all, tom hank's roommates and buddy, i can understand. i get why you would want to do this. it is a brilliant strategy. if i was in prison, i am a lady, okay, go to the woman's prison. >> yeah, you are less likely beaten up and probably get

beater meals and the hygiene is nothing to laugh at, right, emily? you have been to jail. you are a lawyer, that's close enough. is that is fair and what the father doing fair to the mother by changing his gender but nothing else about himself? >> i actually like this because tles nothing fair abouts the justice system that weighs so heavily of gender over everything else. ecuador is similar to california in that the presumption to overcome that way is so strong, it is in the lack of favor for the dad where i have seen cases after cases where the injustice is just apparent. for good dads that just want to spend time with their kids. he's calling out the system for what it is. it is a box that's been checked and the entire system is a chooser adventure. the entire system goes towards presumption of favor for the mother for

everything. so statements that the mother made will have the same weight. the stack against the male is patently unfair. i like this and similar to the prison thing of what our tax dollars is paid for. the system is set up right now is a joke. these individuals got called out and the fact of the sex change in prison and the hanna tub, you remember her/him, that was horrifying. i am glad it is coming to life. this should lobby the public to tell our congressmen to change the laws. this is unacceptable. >> i don't remember if it was in "the new york times." the first trans person on death row was executed like two weeks ago. >> yeah, the other day. >> i can't remember this is very rare for a woman to die on death row. the person who committed the crime was a man, but they

don't want to talk about that, tyrese. what's your feeling? >> well, they're not alone. >> i think i speak to everyone in this room that i don't want to talk about this but since we are going to do this. it is funny what they get upset about. it is okay for them to gain the system. when a man does it who's fighting for his children who he had not seen in months and an article where there was a lot of abuse on the other side. hs doing out of desperation, willing to change his gender on his driver's license and try to get a fair shake in court. you know once he goes to court, the judge is going to attack him for trying to gain the system which ultimately he'll end up in the same situation. for men, they're going to remind them that he's a man. >> right. >> who's trying to do this to gain the system. but, they won't do it for men who commit crimes. >> exactly to gain the system. >> so, if i go to jail and i say

well, actually, i am identified as a woman -- [ laughter ] >> i am not saying anything. >> and once i get in there -- within six to eight months it is going to be a whole nnew nn gen-pop because it is litte g's running all over the place, you are locked up all day, you know? what else are you going to do? >> it is true. >> no one would gain the system because i am a criminal. here is the silver lining in this thing. when this happens and crimes start happening to women in prison then they'll do something about it. they won't do it in college sports or men fighting for their kids. when he goes in there and he starts hurting people then all of a sudden they'll be like this is

not good for us and we are getting too much attention. they care more about criminals than regular people. >> you nailed it. thank you. kat. i had no idea ecuador is near the equator. >> yeah. >> i didn't. did you? >> okay, i agree with tyrus that this is not going to work for re renee. i have not been to ecuador but i have been to the wikipedia page today. >> it says same-sex couples can adopt kids. >> that's everyone worse for this guy? he did succeed in the noble suit of getting attention which i can't blame him there. >> we are one show that's covering this. >> i am not shocked by that. >> yeah, i don't know. for the prisoners, too, inner sex is an

actual, biological thing so this person does not know the system well enough to try to game it. this person in addition to be a criminal is kind of stupid. >> yeah, this person got in trouble for talking to people online as inner-sex, i think they said he had an outfit he was wearing which was way too highly priced. it was a woman's outfit. >> interesting. >> did he mention where he got that? >> ecuador. he got it in ecuador. >> i think you can find it in landish. [ laughter ] >> that's comedy, right? up next, does biden needs more luck to hide his secret dog?

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return this stuff. >> how that could possibly happen? how can anyone be that irresponsible and i thought what data that was in there that makes compromise source of methods and by that i mean names and etcetera, it is just totally irresponsible. >> pot or whatever. when we see raids on biden's homes like trump. will they go into joe biden's underwear drawer and discover that they are all made of of iron. meanwhile the pres finally visited the southern border for the first time, perhaps after hearing from his wife about all the free breakfast tacos. at a migrant center, he met members at the

salvation army, it sounded like he mixed up one of them for secret service. watch. >> oh, seeing that makes me think he puts the ceo of old navy in charge of afghanistan. >> old navy, it got to be good. joe will building a wall around one thing, his delaware beach house. why is that? walls work and they need to keep out hunter's baby mamas. sadly, he's not getting mexico to pay for it. taxpayers will flip the $500,000 bill or one of his son's finger patiintings can do the joke. >> what would you say, joe? >> i know these guys. i have respect for all our military, i

don't care what branch you are i iin, rv i iins, rabies or the heavy machines. >> i was at the front line with the cirque du soleil and some of those guys didn't come back. [ laughter ] >> they're still out there on trapeze -- do, do, do, dooo. [ applause ] >> well, wow. [ applause ] >> well-done. basically we don't care about documents. everybody got document. turnabout is fair play. they made it a big deal under trump that it was a huge deal, worst than watergate or he can go to jail for treason. they kind of deserve it. >> i guess, all those stories came out but for trump is like

how to do a bomb. i didn't know there were word documents existed? there could be nothing. i said the same thing about the trump stuff. i really don't know. i have not seen them. they won't let me. [ laughter ] >> which is -- yeah. >> have you called them? >> no, they don't call me. i am playing hard to get. >> oh, that's good. >> that's good. >> i don't want them to know that i want to see them. >> yeah, nice. >> it worked before. >> it has, it has. >> i don't think you are right about the wall thing. >> really? >> everyone keeps assuming it is just a keep joe safe from intruders when it could be keeping joe from wandering away. [ laughter ] >> it could be helpful. >> it is true, it is true. a lot of free ways there, you don't want him to get out the interstate. >> the same thing of for him forgetting what he says or mixing up with words. usually we

hold presidents accountable based on what they say but with joe, he just says stuff again. >> yeah, exactly. joe screw up? which one. tyrus, what do you think of the wall? >> we need to put him in a light preserver in orange just so we know where he's going. you did do joe a favor by not showing the rest of the video. when he was talking about the secret service, he had to point to the guy of the shirt that says salvation army, oh, so you are not secret service? what are we doing? he got the salvation army confused with the secret service. i never thought i heard myself say this. kamala, you got to do something!

who's making these decisions? he thinks the ice cream man is the secretary of state. what are we doing? [ applause ] and furap and finally, when he e border, kat, i am surprised you didn't tear this apart, they made an instagram horrible selfie of the border, they cleaned it up with picture and all hell broke lose when they left, like you and your wife smile for the picture. >> except when he does it it is like that's propaganda. >> it is true. >> when you throw a party when your parents are away and you have to clean up. >> you know in that picture, they ask him, what time the elephant wakes up at the zoo? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> kamala, do something! >> emily, you know these documents were found before the

elections and they come out now. it seems to be a pattern. >> it seems to be a pattern, yes. everything about this president and this administration is an absolute joke. this guy, that was not a visit to the border, that was a l layover. he was on his way to mexico city. that had more illegal immigrants streaming across the population. he can't handle the truth. before him, border patrol gets talking point from this administration. when president trump went to visit, okay, tell me what's happening here. this guy from top to bottom lives in a manufactured world and he does not have the respect or the dignity to afford the office he's occupying, the respect to read governor abbott's letter or meet with border patrols and he confuses -- thank you the secret

service? i am mortified and i am disheartened for this. the media comes in, oh, it was a small amount and right away we gave it to the national archives so everything is cool. the nuclear code is one sentence long. i am sick and tired of having this president treating like a kid club and the media explaining everything away and a silent impimpotent vp also. guys, we two years of this. it is going from bad to worse, i didn't think we could get any rock bottom with this guy in charge. >> wow, strong words. jim, you are obviously, you are a poli political historian. you are working on "biden's time," i go

to two and people are like, where is four? i am historical. those papers were his handwritten note from the louisiana purchase. >> really? >> i am the only big pro biden guy here. i think he's terrific. it is an understandable mistake. the salvation, it is s -- or senile. >> he tried to put money in the guy's holster. >> oh god. >> you know what the wall is for? because he wants to hide of the summer house he gets. it is not a nice summer house for president. it is kind of embarrassing. >> compare to obama's and martha vineyard's home. you should see the the thethe base

the the thethethe basement. >> biden looks like a screen saver whenever he walks. >> he's just up there until the work is done and he goes away. >> that's brilliant. i am stealing that and using it on the five. of course, i have to kill you first. i should not be talking about this. up next, will convicts learn to be pompous from epstein's main accomplice. nice pace! clearly, you're a safe driver. you could save hundreds for safe driving with liberty mutual. they customize your car insurance... ...so you only pay for what you need! [squawks] whoo! we gotta go again. only pay for what you need. ♪liberty liberty liberty♪ ♪liberty♪ i'm javi, i'm 31, and i'm a fitness instructor. i saw myself in a photograph. and we were all smiling, and i looked closer,

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(dog barking) we love our pets. but we don't always love their hair. which is why we made bounce pet hair and lint guard with three times the pet hair fighting ingredients. just one sheet helps remove pet hair from your clothes! looking good starts in the dryer with bounce pet. welcome back, gelane maxwell is hosting at the prison of her sentencing. it is a way for gilane to pass her time until hillary murders hp her

hp -- with love. the daill reports she tried two classes a week last month to as many as 40 convicts. it is tough to assassinate her in front of that many witnesses. r pr p >> r pr p >> ghislaine's class popular, the prison approved another round and set to be soon. now, the inmates know which knife to use. imagine shanking someone with your shrimp fork. talk about ghost. emily, is there a path through redemption for this woman? i like this. what say you are the woman of the law -- >> well, i will take off my attorney hat. >> are you wearing a hat? >> yes, it is invisible.

>> i hate this. >> yes. >> of course this pompous, elitist criminal, manipulative monster thinks that everyone could learn from her. this is wwhat led her to groom and abu all the young women. anyone can teach for nothing. >> shank for nothing. >> anyone in prison, you can teach an array of things, that's really common. i feel like exactly what she sees in the fact that it has to be her, it is one more what? >> that's a better question. >> the subject matter has to be approved. >> you can't just teach what you would teach. [ laughter ] >> let's get real. >> you can't teach this. >> i thought you are going to do writing courses. >> there you go.

>> work on pennymampenmanship. >> how dare you, emily? >> jim, you can teach a comdedi course. >> sure, bendover and kneel down. >> surely voluntary if it is you. >> >> >> >> >> >> what >> >> >> >> >> >> etiquett what is she going to tell people? no, no, not that napkin, that's the one for your collar, not the back-wiping napkin. how bad is your moral compass where they're saying be more like ghislane. >> is it sexest where they don't

have these classes in men's prison? if i were in jail, it would be nice to have -- >> some etiquette? >> she's a pimp. she's grooming new workers. she's getting the girls ready for a higher cartel. >> yeah. >> no one sees this but me? >> she's literally alone with girls, telling them how to act. that's what she did on the outside. she's pimping easy on the other side. this is going to come to the ward, i got 40 girls t tthat are ready. >> can i get a weekend? >> no one sees this? >> and like a rented boat shows up. > oh > -- >> by the time i get there, if i go to jail, i will identify as a woman, i will have 40 choices. >> it all works out. she's a

pimp. >> someone stop him. >> she's pimping. not martha stewart teaching out of invest. >> kat, would you taken an etiquette course from her? >> manners are overrated. >> you can have great manner and this could be a total piece of [ bleep ]. i think it is stupid. >> you think it is stupid. >> i think it is dumb. if that's all you have to offer, you sound like a boring person. >> what are you going to do in jail? >> anything else. >> you make it sound like a junior college. >> there are a lot of classes that are offered. >> oh, it is not prison. >> i will try to start a colt, obviously. >> i think i would start a colt. >> that would be great. >> it is almost like teaching manners. >> no.

>> they would obey you in a polite way. >> i create the manner. >> i think we learned nothing on that. coming up, would you have a trick with someone who eats cookie crisp? theo's nose was cause for alarm, so dad brought puffs plus lotion to save it from harm.

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welcome back, could you date a man who was raised only on

raisin brands. jeff gunter insists that your cereal during your childhood can be determined what it is like to date you. people who like cinnamon toast crunch is kids parading around trophies. what about people who like trix? >> they're a lot to handle and berry unpredictable but you flame out pretty fast. >> i guess you are more likely to be attacked by silly rabbits. sounds like he's coo coo for cocopuffs. is any of this true? it does make you wonder if

cereal can impact you years later. tyrus? >> what, what? >> i want to beat him up so bad. >> i love it. >> i want to drag him around and throw him and pick him up and throw him some more. [ laughter ] >> who had a damn choice when they were kids with their cereals. i had off-brand captain crunch. it was just crunch. it didn't come in a box. i remember some day i would be getting the good stuff and she's like no, you get the bag. >> the yellow bag. >> i know the libertarian next to me is going to hate me for it. this is why tiktok got it. [ bleep ]. >> right here. >> this is moron. >> it gets worse. this man, he has a website with a pink background and white texts and he sells merch.

it says dress like therapy and fight the stigma. there should be a stigma against that. >> it is grooming for who? who's going to watch something with a stupid cereal box with it. >> this dude is disgusting. no man is going to sit there and figure out what's going on with my life. or every time i say what's up to somebody, oh, i ate captain crunch, dang, dog. give me some of that flakes so i can get my life together. sorry! [ applause ] >> not everybody has that attitude. there is people that's like i eat trix, how come i have been married for four years. are you upset about this? >> his client list is full. how is he ending the session, okay, see you next week, in the meantime, please check out my

t-shirts for sale. >> make you had some great nuts. i had great nuts throughout my childhood, i mean cereal. >> when you are growing up, you only had one or two cereal and it was always grape nuts in my house. i don't know why. >> your parents were cons constipated. >> it was $three cheaper. >> i am a big dr. jeff guy. as a kid, i ate trix and as an adult, i like hookers. [ laughter ] >> what did you have, emily, when you were growing up? did you have a pretty cereal. >> i would have them at my friend's house. my favorite was

cinnamon toast crunch and rice krispies treat. i would eat a whole box at a time. >> she stole other peo people's cereal. what does it say about me that i like cinnamon toast crunch shots now. it is a fire shot and the back that you have after is a little shot glass of cinnamon toast crunch. it is amazing. am i the only one? >> for all you kids out there, go to the bar, get a shot of cereal and grow up to be a damaged alcoholic. they never been able to figure out, what it does to the roof of your house. >> that designs you to stop eating it all the time. >> that's right. >> at the root of the mouth is the hangover. >> the no name is worse, craig. sometimes i would have it with water, too. thanks. >> like you never had cereal

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a story in five words. >> five words. who wants bucket

of rats? jim, i was looking on twitter and there was an ad for a company, they now have ads in twitter, selling an attachment that turns any bucket into an ultimate murder-free rat trap. is this what's missing in your life? >> we were poor, we didn't have rat traps so i would put cheese in my underwear and allow four or five rats to gather and crush them with my thighs. [ laughter ] >> oh my god. emily, could italians use this for rats in t tt the mob. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> i love this. this is amazing. i love this so much. keeps them alive, what do you do with them after? >> you clearly don't know what

to do. i think it was like a bunch of factors closing down in detroit area, my grandma's house wwas full of rats. you can't l them go. my grandma has a bb gun she shoots them with. were they in your grandma's house and they would float and that's how you knew they were done and you would go yeah. >> i had a normal childhood experience. >> when the trash can would be full and the neighbors would come from all over. >> new york it was not a celebration. it was more of a necessity. >> tyrus. >> it was not like grape squashing, jump in with your feet. >> as long as you know what you have to do after you have them. this is convenient because i have snakes. i am saving a buck. at the same time when your

bucket gets full, you know what you got to do. >> yeah, the reason why i find it interesting. it was an ad on twitter. it was part of the new advertisement model and it was in between the tweets. i started watching this. this thing has been around. i was like trans-fix. this is amazing. i don't have rats that i know of. >> call me rats or party down. >> can you get it in human size? >> yeah, you mean my size? >> it is right there. >> and put a piece of chocolate. all right, we got to move on. don't go away, we'll be right back. [ applause ] first psoriasis, then psoriatic arthritis. even walking was tough. i had to do something.

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>> 's

>> do we have time for jimmy to play something? at things, greg. friday night import with saturday and dallas. that's it. thank you. >> fantastic. i think you, emily, jimmy, our entire studio audience. >> thank you. good evening and welcome to america's late news at fox news @ night. i am trace gallagher in los angeles. be back breaking tonight, knew has bigger kevin mccarthy is following through on his promis to kick some democratic representatives ought their committees. we schager the last. president biden is back in washington after trying to defend his administration's handling of the border crisis. at thousands f