adams is targeting takeout. a law signed this week prohibits restaurants from providing plastic forks and so forth unless they're requested and unbelievable. well done, sir. nice job tackling the big problems. gutfeld next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [laughter]. >> look at you, happy thursday everyone. it's almost friday. ha ha. soon it will be monday. oh well. tonight we are going to talk about a comedian. so if you don't like comedy now

is the time to switch over to colbert. here's a look at their current studio audience. >> i wish you could see the smiles on the faces of our audience and i wish i could too because they're still wearing masks. >> if you saw our audience, they're not wearing knows masks. but i don't blame them for wearing masks. their breath must stink from eating so much crow. so this past saturday louie performed to sold out crowd at madison square garden. elaine boozeler can't do that. yeah. that was meant to be confusing. i wasn't going for laughs there. >> until you laugh at that it's going to keep coming back. [laughter] >> it's true. back in 2017 he admit to masturbating in front of several women, oddly enough, none from

the cast of the view. after publicly apologizing, he was labeled and irredeemable pervert and canceled his movie deals and he was universally shamed. for the record i don't condone what he did and the women involved have every right to feel how he feels but at least louie asked for permission. jeffy tube indidn't even send and invite. cnn hired him right back. it's like they wanted to see his penis again. i had no. it's disgusting. how do they stay in business? anyway, so louie was a pariah but now he's back and the cancellers aren't happy. they wanted to remove him forever because that's how cancel culture works. if i'm a loser in life they feel i'm going to make you one too. in this case louie is back

because he's the resources talent fan base and perseverance. some took that to mean he never paid a price at all and worse, neither has anyone else and there's a word for people who think like that what is it again? [bleep] nozzle. hard to say. tweet from msnbc columnist. [reading]. >> this prompted one well my wise ass to add, i saw my grandparents today, doing fine. covid deaths are not real. of course my grandparents everybody dead for decades so it had nothing to do with covid. they tried in a shootout trying to score lipitor at a bar in ole. you see the point c.k. sells out and arena means there's no such

thing as cancel culture it's not logical. using that reason inning he never ex-posted himself to those women because he didn't do it to you or me either. the people pushing the notion of microaggression think losing years of your career and being publicly shamed are not enough. in a way you have to kill yourself. then they announce when that doesn't happen and their dreams don't work out the drooling mob they riled up really doesn't exist as if louie joe rowing and their public percent kugsz never existed. of course they had the resources to survive. most people aren't that lucky. emmanuel kafrty got fired when a stranger tweeted a picture of his hand making so-called put power gesture and he's not white. doesn't have hands either. i made that up. don't write in the you don't have hands.

well, you can't. [laughter]. >> i apologize in advancement james sabor canned by google after giving the company feedback they requested. gibson bakery, over land college tried to destroy after false accusations of racism. my favorite sports fan with a sign asking for beer, carson used his fame to raise a grant for a children's hospital. carson was publicly humiliated. as luck would have it some one dug into a reporter's past found some of his problem posts and he got fired. how about that? think of all the people who aren't canceled that have to say things like men can have babies so they don't get canceled or lose their job teaching high school. the poison of cancel culture is what it does to regular people not people at the top of the food chain. it's not just be careful what you do. it's be careful you what think

or say or tweet or tweeted ten years ago. that's why we need to keep fighting this crap. you can let the cancellers keep frug doing what do you best because if comedians can't say ridiculous and sometimes all things we are screwed future continue want to watch louie again who cares, but if you demand others don't watch him do us all a favor and experiment with bungee jump from a light fixture. cancellers want scouts, so let's call it what it is, bully culture. this time they want more than your lunch money. let's welcome tonight's guest cohost of america's news room and the five.

when this young man performs at casinos, everyone loses. writeser comedian joe mackey. she's worth her weight in gold, she woe pay her $89 a week fox news contributor. and finally, he knows when to hold them and when to fold them but enough about people. will world heavyweight champion tyrus. yo dana you came at this kind of veept in reverse. weren't a fan of louie until he was beatituded forward this. this is a kind of an interesting thing that they pretend if he made it, it doesn't exist. what about the people you don't hear about? >> you make so and great points in the monologue. you remember you and i were on the five one night when it was

the first cancelling i had ever seen. remember the woman who worked in public relations. >> yes. >> he got on a flight to south trick, a tweeting going to south africa hope i don't get aids doesn't realize in the air she's lost her job, she has been completely destroyed and i don't think she's actually recovered from that. >> right. >> a few years later we started seeing these other cancellations and for people like him he did have hurt. it was horrible for him and he had the wherewithal and draifty to come back. wasn't like he will sold out madison square garden the first. wasn't a few years ago he did the youtube offering and he and and you could watch it and i liked it very much but i'm concerned about the people who aren't in that position and there's a lot of they had and i talked to somebody today who got canceled a few years goad and he said something that was very

interesting that it's almost better if you're accused of a crime, because then you could fight back or if you're convicted, you cocould serve th time and come back. right now the people who wanted him canceled in the first place hound him every month. he puts on a bright face and that's only one person i know. >> kill me. >> there's many people all over that were canceled in a way their careers were destroyed. >> the people that move it just move on because they got they are dopamine rush out of. this joe you're a committee beyond and also a pervert so this story hits close to home. actually, you opened for louie during i would say unusual times. >> yeah, those were some tough times. it doesn't feel good even to be the person walking in with a person who is canceled and i consider louie a close friend

almost as close as you though neither of you return my phone calls but i'll say this. people compared louie with weinstein and cosby and if there's no scales why do we have scales? why do they make the flight attendants so concerned where i sit on the plane just because of my muscles? i'll say this. i read a story that said a lot of people out there cancelling people are compensating for things that they feel guilty about. that's why you'll never hear a peep out of me opposing human trafficking. >> good for you. >> my neither. >> kat, we have to diminnish cancellation and somebody who does something bad that deserves to be fired or whatever. those people, even people can still be punished for bad

things. >> yeah and i think he was punished. of course he's in a situation where you said the resources to sort of restart and there was a demand. nobody was like brought to madison square garden at gun point. everybody wanted to be there. i think it's a larger conversation like you said about all of us being able to talk to us be open honest and now be afraid and also it's because of what we lose. it's the ability to make genuine connections with other people in a way that can only occur when those kinds of conversations can happen. >> you know this isn't just about cancel culture. what made me mad was about that one tweet. remember don lemon said people say there's a crime rate but he went out and had dinner. they find one anecdotes and go that's all i need. >> no, it's like when you're

grounded for 7 days and you get out on day 6 and your little brother is like this works, he's out, it's 7 days not six. cancel culture is real. it's not going away. the difference is not everyone is brought into it because yes, the twitter verse you're canceled done forever but regular people allow for this one word that we have all forgotten, redemption. what did he do? ' owned i. -- it. he accepted it. he's by no means winning. his movie career is probably never going to come back. it wasn't a netflix special. there was enough people that believe in him that don't believe in mobbism. that would come see him. there's a lot of people that

would fit that like everyone who asked what he did was wrong most of them would say that was w wrong. that was hilal. but it's over. he's moved on from it. we are here to see him because we enjoy the show. we don't care about his personal stuff and what we say he's not doing again. it's not that cancel culture is again. remember twitter is 10 percent of 10 percent and they've tricked us all that they're 100 percent and most americans believe in redemption and especially somebody that understands what they did and are a better person for it. >> all right. it's true. up next. [applause] >> don't applaud that much. the ire any is appalling when woodward comes calling.

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>> veteran reporter bob woodward is starting to sing the i told you so tune about the russian collusion. speaking to the columbia journalism review he revealed that washington post reporter's ignored his warning about the steele dossier adding it was a garbage document. >> that is a garbage document. it never should have been presented. >> see, i told you.

a garbage document. i assumed he was referring to some one's latest book. woodward says readers were cheated and called for news rooms to walk down the painful road of introspection. i do that every morning after climbing out of kudlow's hot tub. bob woodward scolding the media when his background sets off more alarms than kat leaving a jewelry store. remember he wrote bill casey made a statement arms deal, what about watergate? how did he get that scoop?

as our t.c. point woodward as a navy officer at the pentagon before joining the post and his main source deep throat turned out to be the deputy director of the fbi. yeah. okay, so he made the movie from navy officer to reporter starting at the washington post and cracked the biggest story ever with the help of the fbi and had access to every president then. i smell something fishy and for once it's not jesse's breath. he had seafood before the show. it's disgusting. joe i have wondered how this guy has access to everybody including people that don't like him? i never knew why trump had woodward with him. doesn't make sense to me.

then i've seen he's been everywhere there's stuff but he choose the right battles like he's not interested in the origins of covid. that would be a great story. no, he wants to sit around and record people. is he deep state? is he the deep state? >> i don't know if he is the deep state now but i had think with the problem with this washington post story he was telling people to do their jobs when they knew they were choosing not to do your jobs. you reminded me of when i worked at a steakhouse and my responsibility there was to clean the bathroom and you can just sign your initials where you cleaned the bathroom but sometimes my manager would be like you need the check the bathroom and i said you don't miss when you don't want to find.

>> could could be the best analogy i've ever heard. they didn't want to clean the toilet. >> don't miss what you don't want to see. >> yes, yes. i don't remember woodward saying this stuff but maybe he did. >> i mean, that's great. that's like after the hurricane hits somebody comes out and says, i told you guys the hurricane was going to be bad and where were you? the entire presidency was literally ruined. this was the story that kicked off every impeachment everything that happened and now after it's all come out now you want to stand up and say, i told him not to do it? wow. slow clap.

>> his best buddy, carl kept saying it was worse than watergate. so, kat you and i were talking about this earlier today. you brought this up and said richard nixon was probably the greatest president ever definitely the most popular one, he won reelection by a huge margin and was taken out by woodward. isn't this all everything the last 40-50 years from bob woodward? >> yes. >> thank you. >> i don't know. this is very easy for them to do now especially when you look at the washington post. not only did it get all this hysteria going and drove the narrative the washington post and the "new york times," but in ignoring what should have been or looking into what they should have looked into, they also won like pulitzer prizes for it. >> right. >> sometimes you're this beg

celebrated and it turns out to be a lie like lance arm strong. remember that guy? >> yes. >> he had to give those awards back for riding a bike in france. >> sorry. for a while there he had a ball. >> he lost one. >> they don't have to give these back. so are things changing? has there been any moment of reckon something why would there be? >> that is such a great point because all the people that won the pulitzers on all these stories we've read are not true. >> there was justice because acosta and other guys got shows on cnn-plus. >> yeah, that's true. true. cnn plus sounds like a covid strain.

>> it did die it. >> was lethal and infected everybody who came into contact. >> somebody check on chris walsh. dana how do you feel about this i told you so? >> it's interesting to go back to the first segment which was about cancel culture, bob woodward is a fixture in washington. why would presidents agree to talk to him? usually four books of presidency if you go for two terms and the first book during the bush communication the white house communications office cooperated because he makes you worry it's going to be worse if you don't. >> exactly. >> so then you cooperate, they're really bad. on the third one you think we are not cooperating and it's bad. the third one is horrible.

he would have this thing you were always recorded on the record. so he's a fixture in washington. so he would get, he could get on any show any time he wanted except when he started to say that the dotsy was crap and when he did that the only place could you go and say that message was on fox news that clip is from fox news sunday. >> that's true. >> people in the washington post ignored him and this is not just a washington post story. the columbia journalism review assigned a guy who has done a 90 page review, turns out that it was all wrong. but woodward was initially saying from the beginning. >> i should have come to you first instead of joe and his stupid steakhouse story. that totally changes the way i look a little everything. that's the reason why we didn't see him talk about it. that's the story. >> because you chose not to find what you didn't want to see. >> exactly.

[laughter] [applause] >> they should take all those pulitzer priceses and give all of them to mackey. >> exactly. split them with dana because dana made a good point. i might have to reuse that on the five tomorrow, recycle a lot on friday. up next, at one theme park you'll be bummed if you're rotund. ♪ (dog barks) ♪ silverado zr2, trail boss, and custom trail boss. because adventure is everywhere. ♪ icy hot pro starts working instantly. with two max-strength pain relievers. ♪

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>> you will be banned from rides if you're bursting at the sides will run universal studios hollywood happen opened important biggest and fans are angry, at least those with waists more than 40 inches or as they call it at the view, petite. how can you laugh after that you sick people? they're terrible. it seems the mario cart ride can

only accommodate guests with waists 40 inches or less. i guess my quads won't fit. yeah. i do a lot of skwauts in front of a mirror. sometimes over a mirror. anyway. 40 inches. 40 inches. that's more than a meter, if you're foreign in fat. this isn't going over too well who have trouble fitting into their triple xl gaming chairs. maybe they should try eating a mushroom instead of bashing it in with a turtle shell. how dare you laugh at that? you make my sick. it's causing outrage on social media with people venting from influencers to tiktokers calling

the ride fat phobic? if you're a woman with a waistline 38 inches, the average man 40.2 but the mario cart ride is likely for kids, you dummies. the better destination might by fat camp, which by design is fat phobic. a ride that has height and weight limits is not fat phobic of the that's when you're afraid michael moore is going to sit on you. you know, there are rides that you can't participate. >> listen. i stopped given a damn about roller coasters when i was 11. >> when you're six feet eleven and these legs, this is fine. if your butt is too big to get in a ride do something built there's a reason for that it's weight displacement. >> yes.

>> you get a lopsided roller coaster half the ride is not going home happy. so, i'm sorry that your little cluby self is going to have to complain on tiktok. but let's be honest and are they going to run down there and go there anyway? because they're going to have to walk over and stand in line. they're going to have to wait. you know and they're going to try to squish their mushy bodies in there and it's not going to fit. you want to be big. there are side effects. one of the side effects of being fat is you don't fit [bleep]. so, if you are fat and beautiful and bragging about it, you can't ask your doctor how big i am, then own it when your big ass can't fit in something. well i'm just too fat for this ride. cupcakes on me. >> that's a good one.

>> where's my cart? >> you know dana we you and i have both been the victims of height requirements all over the world. why shouldn't there be a width requirement? there's height width and girth but that's for the other story later. in denver, colorado there's eliges. i think it's six flags now. every year i would go with summer fun camp with t-shirts with their logo thatments you could ride any ride. i want to be cool but i would be so stressed for days leading up to this event because i knew you were going to have to pass by the height chart and i would try so hard to be like, oh, please let me on this ride and so many years i had to stand there and

wait while everybody else got to go around on the ride and i didn't feel that sorry for myself. now that you're saying that, that's a deep pain but here's the thing. i understood it was physics. it's just physics, weight distribution. until the engineers can figure that out, let's just go have a drink. >> my god that story is not even in any of your books. that should be in a chapter about something about over coming, i don't know. you'll figure it out. >> fit makes you feel better i would have been standing there with you. >> thank you. [applause] >> if i were there i would be pointing my finger saying no you can't go on the ride shorty pants. ha ha ha. >> i would not let you on the ride. >> no, he would be saying that because he bob stuck with

grandma on the bus and would be in [bleep] if he said that. >> there's nothing wrong with swimming in a t-shirt. kat have you ever fallen out after roller coaster? i imagine you have to hold onto the bar. >> okay, if idi don't think i would be here. i would be in the ground. because i would be dead. >> yeah. >> all these people complaining about it, i would love for them to just show me on their little calendar where they were planning to go to mario world and then now they can't. i don't think any of them were. they saw it on the internet and were like if i wanted to and did go there i couldn't do it. >> right. >> that's enough reason to get mad. there are plenty of things i see on the internet that i can't do. >> yeah tell me about it. special reply if it's illegal. >> for me like a pushup, or like growing your own air yourself.

>> ha ha. yeah. wow, yours were clean. >> yeah. >> joe? >> you're going to me for the last block, aren't yo. >> no, the person who goes first the first time is last the last time. haven't you figured that out? >> this story hit home for weeks because i'm on the cusp and made me realize i should eat more pasta because some criminal nation is good if it gets it out of going on lame rides with your cousins. >> you really hate your does sniens i do. no, i'm just teasing. they're adorable. >> all right. coming up awoke petition to tweak a definition. m eds. and it's unlikely to improve without treatment. i felt like my movements were in the spotlight.

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♪ well, the stock is bubbling in the pot ♪ ♪ just till they taste what we've got ♪ [ tires squeal, crash ] when owning a small business gets real, progressive gets you right back to living the dream. now, where were we? [ cheering ] >> is it their duty to redefine butte any on line petition change.org chase that dictionary

definitions of buttery ageist and sexist based on she was a great beauty in her youth. translation, she turned into an old bag in her twilight years which is wrong. i for one find liver spots sexy. that's why i keep and extra large jar of poly grip on my night stand. it took four per members to pry us part. the petition was launched by coty come so people spent a sent friday saying wrinkles unsightly now say it's good to have them and why you need cover girl's

new moisturizer. looks like a cynical marketing ploy. a woman's buttesi determined by how she looks making me a sandwich. terrible. boo away. have you ever thought about the definition of beauty until this story? >> yeah. what have you thought about? please share. >> okay. of course, it's hypocritical coming from this company, because they couldn't sell a cream that was like you're beautiful how you are, you don't need this cream. it's like goes against their business model but it is. i mean it is a thing which is why i love to see like older woman. people hate it when madonna is all sexual. i love it because men get to be

like silver foxes. if i were wealthy i would be telling older women their hot. >> i would have to sue it. >> if you're watching and an old lady i think you're super sexy. >> you would get a cease and desist from me. >> joe, do you feel excluded from the definition of butte any. >> no,ies don't feel excluded. this story highlights two issues. one, i don't feel sorry for people that are old and don't like their looks, because age is the faires thing around and people who are old now got to be young but people who are young don't necessarily get to be old. it's good getting old so there's nothing wrong with it. the second thing that bothers me

there's this movement now that everyone is beautiful and that's just a lie to fool people. it's not going to work. they're just ugly. there's nothing wrong with their eyesight. i only tell beautiful people that everyone is beautiful. that knocks them down a peg. >> it is true. young people making fun of old people, you're going to wish you're old when you're dead. >> yeah. this is a marking ploy and it worked. but this is a petition. so they wanted 2500 signatures. now we are doing a story bit but also kat, you know coty cosmetics is not the best stuff. >> right. they used to have commercials during american bandstand.

>> i wonder if they took the email addresses from people who signed the petition and sending them to companies that sell anti-aging cream. there's this weird thing trying to say there should be a definition of beauty but that's just biology. >> it's symmetry, youthful market, anything that is a sign of reproductive health is every revolutionary science. >> why are we trying to outsmart biology? >> pretty soon they're going to call you a big on the if you're not attracted to helen mirrin. >> are you not? >> pass. >> tyrus how do you define butte any. >> to me, buttesi quiet. so i ain't got to hear [bleep]. this goes back. there's my dog. [laughter]. >> this goes back to the last

story. who is their target audience? chubby ugly people on tiktok and twitter will buy anything you tell them if you will change the rules for them. so, that's what this is about. they looked around. listen. we have seen in my lifetime when you used to go into any store like target or tar jay if you want to be a jerk about it. there was a movie made about a guy who fell in love with a mannequin and the mannequin came to life. >> right. >> have you seen the mannequins lately? they've put on a few pounds. >> it's true. >> the mannequin's are bigger than me when i walk in the store. i'm like who is this for? they're looking at what they're seeing on tv and they're seeing the well, kind of like joey's face a little bit with blue wig and you know, and they're like

he or she could use some cream. >> you know i want to piggyback on that but we got to go. it seems the pre-woke and post-woke after tiktok things where the girl is super cute pre-wozniacki and then post-woke hideous shaved head piercing. it's about deconstructing the absolute truth of beauty. this is happening everywhere. any aspirational goal you have, there's something wrong with it because not everyone can be there. so inherently evil. >> i decop instruct my beauty every time i take my hair extension out. >> we have a generation trying to be ugly. fine by me. more hot people for me. up next, should we have issues up next, should we have issues with convicts donating tissues?t the lows or highs.

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(upbeat music) . >> reduce jail for prison or organs? a massachussetts proposed law would let prisoners out early if they dounate organs or bone

marrow. >> that's what's happening in places like china so i think it's disgusting. >> what pisses me off joe is that the organ gets outs early but the organ was parts of a criminal, so if the criminal committed a murder how is the kid any somehow innocent? >> yeah. it's a bad idea, because the criminal is getting out early too and you can murder some one with just one lung. >> you know, i was thinking about this if i got a kidney or a lung from a criminal, and i committed a crime, i would blame the organ. >> 1,000 percent. write a scathing email to the justice system, it once me.

it was my new pancreas. i love this. i think it's great. as long as the organ donation fits the crime. >> right. >> if you're a sex offender, right? that's fair. [laughter]. >> want early, donate the goods. win-win for everybody. murderer? heart. donate your heart and we will let you out early. all is forgiven. >> drunk drivers have to give part of their liver, if you're a thief give up a hand like in iran. you must find this disgusting. >> because what if the government starts arresting more people to get organs? >> that's true. >> a kidney shortage. all right, boys, go do a hospital around. see if anybody one is doing

anything wrong. we need some bone marrow. >> yeah. all right, we got to go.

thank you, i am greg gutfeld and i love you america. >> good evening everyone, welcome to america's late news. fox news at night, i am trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking tonight, the pentagon spotted what it believes to be a chinese spy balloon, sent by beijing to gather information on sensitive sites including military base with nuclear weapon facilities. it is not the first chinese-found balloon in u.s. aerospace but this one lingers the longest. let's get to our correspondent, jonathan hunt. the whole country is