there. i guess the fish there and so forth. a staffer recognized him from the photos that were released by police. according to affidavit obtained by the dallas morning news irvin said he was able to enter the stone several times evading security and had plans to take additional animals if he hadn't been caught. 's charged with six counts of animal cruelty. tomorrow night midnight. see you then. ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> greg: oh, yeah. what a great, what a great audience for monday, huh? doesn't even feel like a monday to me. all right. so-thank you. so did you hear what china did? yeah. they cloned super cows. chinese scientists say they've

cloned three cavs that, once grown, will be capable of producing 50% more milk than the average american cow. so they're putting our cows out to pasture like voters did to hillary. that is a reach but i approve. by the way, i believe we have a picture of the new super cows. [cheers and applause] >> greg: yes. off to a good start! okay. enough of that. let's talk about giant balloons, all right? >> yeah! >> greg: no. not those. i mow ten chinese surveillance balloon shot down off the coast of south carolina. china should have said there was a boy inside. that's what i would have done. then i would have shot it down because i'm a bad man. anyway there was lots of speculation over the balloon's sudden appearance rumor has it joe insisted that it was just a

full moon. maybe it came from hunter's birthday party from last saturday. you know he loves his balloons. normally if they're full of cocaine and shoved up a drug mule's ass but still. hunter and the balloon have a lot in common, both paid for by china and high as [bleep]. chinese foreign ministry says it was a civilian weather ballooned strayed off course and entered u.s. air space by accident and decided to stick around that was as excusable as kilmeade's christmas tree being torched. calling the response an overreaction but then issued a reaction of further response in streamers cake and confetti. because it was balloon audience. there you go. sometimes you've got to goose 'em. but what a journey the balloon

had, right? it got to see more states than forest gump on a jog. and the public got a good look at it, too. videos were all over social media, people filming it from their backyard. it was the best thing to happen in montana since custer's last stand. it was the only thing to happen in montana since custer's last stand. and perhaps it was the public who forced this administration to get off their fat lazy asses and do something about it. if people weren't documented it would they have done anything at all or would they have let it float over europe where it would have ended up dating a woman with armpit hair? no one deserves that, not even a balloon filled with explosives. the white house says biden was first briefed on tuesday three days after it entered the u.s. air defense zone. and, worse, the response was softer than mike lindell's giza dream sheets. have you tried them? have you tried them? really. the pentagon says the balloon

wasn't a threat but admitted it could be maneuverable which is more than we can say about joe. so is this really a big deal? maybe. maybe not. i don't know. that's what i hate about these stories. suddenly everyone's an expert on whatever it is we're talking about. and i don't know beep bleep. so i will a refer you to retired army general john ferrari. he said the flight might have been to gaming america's ability to detect incoming threats and to find holes in our air defense warning system. so the balloon was up, and i mean really up, to no good. which brings us back to this. [laughter] >> greg: yeah. a trans teacher with the massive knockers. there was another case where someone was up to no good but people were too scared to call it out for fear of being labeled as bigoted. and also popping those breasts would have sent the teacher

gusting all the way to china. and with china we were also too scared to act quickly for fear of offense. let's not forget the cunning flue flu right? it's been three years and we still have no answer from china on its origins because questioning such things could be seen as racist and it was. if only it came from norway or sweden or perhaps the osman family. here's the bottom line. i linked this balloon story to the ontario trans teacher with giant boobs. so for those playing the gutfeld drinking game at home you have to take two shots now, and from two giant cups. [laughter] >> greg: thank god emily's here or no one would laugh. so from fentanyl to tik tok we have major issues with china and now just let a spy balloon casually cruise over us like it was bringing dorothy back to

kansas. if it was me i would have steered the dam thing into a space needle. because what's the point of having a space needle except to poke holes into space balloons. i bet the needle was sitting there the whole time thinking guys, i'm right here. never going to get this opportunity again. in the meantime i guess we can just take comfort in the fact that it took a balloon to remind us that we all share something in common. we hate when strangers get into our [bleep]. and that the bigger problem for us is this conflict as sport. china unleashes a spy balloon and it should unite every one of us across the country all pointing upward. we should be pointing fingers at china and not each other. but with the media it's who can blame the other party first. but you know who i blame for that? joe biden. yeah, i'm a hypocrite. but i know i am. joe was elected based on unifying but instead cleaces

like a head of let us on an iron ship. but hopefully the next head we get rid of will be his. >> period. >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. you may recognize him from the last time you googled non-threatening white guy. cohost of the big money show brian brenberg! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she was the only lawyer whose clients asked her to remain silent. outnumbered cohost emily compagno! [cheers and applause] >> greg: you know, critics said we would never be able to book timeout magazine's joke of the year winner 2009, but here we are. western razor.com owner david angelo! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and finally she's like

a pretzel, twisted, salty and better when smothered in hot mustard. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: so, david, why the hat? what's on your head? >> david: well, you know, greg, i've come on this show several times and i'm always pumping the western razor company and i figured you know what? i don't need to keep saying it, let's just put it up here get out of the way and then we can get down to business. >> greg: it's not doing very well, is it? >> david: yeah, you know, i'm living at the ymca. >> greg: but you know what? we're talking about balloons here. you make razors. you must have your own -- you could have probably solved this problem much faster than our president. >> david: i think our operation is part of the reason why they sent that over here. made in america razors? we're threatening the entire industry. they're a little worried. that's what i'm thinking.

the weirdest thing about this is like all you have to do is send the balloon over to spy. like why did we make youtube? we made the fastest plane in history to fly over russia. fans's scary power. this whole thing. all we had to do was go to party city, lob one over leningrad. where's my money we got cheated. >> greg: it's a huge balloon, too. i love big balloons, don't you emily? big balloons are fun and they've used this fun for evil. i hate china for what they've done to our balloons. what do you think? >> emily: they've ruined every birthday party for me. >> greg: yes. what do you think about the public going up watching it and then the media turning it into some kind of blame game? what do you make of this? >> emily: i think that the administration is trying to turn this into a success story for president biden when it's anything but. because what we do know -- so it

entered our air space. three days later he was informed. was that because he wasn't trusted with the information? is it because he doesn't have the respect of our defense and intelligence communities? i'm not sure but then he told them to shoot it down right away which either they ignored or had a better plan. either way his fragility is on full display here. and first of all i miss secretary pompeo and president trump so much because their watch this would not have happened. the instant something from the ccp air space violated international law and our sovereign air space it would have been shot down over the pacific not the atlantic. so the fact that he now pats himself on the back and says this is a success after it's collected who knows what, you know, intelligence, files of intelligence on the entire continental us. there's nothing successful about it and the chinese must have known we would shoot it down which means it was worth it. whatever modicum up to a huge amount of surveillance they got

during the journey was worth it to them which means it was getting a whole hell of a lot more than we expectment and i also think that it provides this sort of visual representation of what china's been doing to us for years which is infiltrating our sovereign nation at any point. from cybersecurity to physical bases, our education system. >> greg: tik tok. >> emily: everything. >> greg: everything emily. >> david: razors. >> emily: everything. razors. >> greg: lawn furniture tor. >> emily: there you go. now we just have the visual representation for it. so i hope we keep our fingers in the sky. the middle one. >> greg: oh. >> david: wow. >> greg: yeah. she is filthy. brian, welcome to the show this is your first time. >> brian: thank you. >> greg: it's been a long time coming. >> brian: i'm glad you did the balloon thing 20 times when i came, too. kids at home will love that. >> greg: do you think this could have been handled better? >> brian: there's so many excuses being made and most of them are really bad but the worst one is that there's no

room in montana to take this down. like montana is the atlantic ocean of states, okay? if you can take a balloon down, you can do it there. the biden family must have never taken a road trip in montana to believe you couldn't do it. but before that, it was in alaska. this thing was in the alou schenn island a chinese spy balloon and they knew about it for two days and they didn't do anything. of all the excuses they made the worst one was they couldn't have acted preemptively. they could have and as a result the chinese got who knows what intelligence from this. >> greg: they saw how tract i have our moose were. how do you say plural of moose imeese. >> greg: really? >> it's not. >> greg: he had me for a minute there. he did. but there is an argument, kat, if we were to shoot them down what if it was filled wind covid spores or something that if it

was filled with something if you detonated and explode it would kill everybody. but then in alaska and montana it's 12 people. kidding i love those people. >> david: i have some great customers in montana >> kat: i'm not a spy balloon expert. but i should have been. >> greg: yes. >> kat: because i could have been in these meetings when they were designing this thing, i could have been like, hey, guys, it's kind of big. not very sneaky. >> greg: no, it isn't at all. it's not sneaky at all. >> david: i didn't know what a spy balloon looked like but now that i do, i mean, nothing else looks like that. >> greg: why does it have to be so big. i would think you would have to make i will smaller >> kat: somewhere in the meeting somewhere should have said hey, we should maybe make it more smaller. >> greg: exactly. >> kat: i mean like when you wear a wire they don't put like lights in it.

>> greg: that's true. >> kat: we're going to see it. but, again, not an expert but that is a huge missed opportunity on my part. >> greg: that's true. you should be thinking your career choices during this story. it's raised definitely more questions than it's answered, right? >> yeah. >> greg: well, you guys don't care anymore. staring at me and it's very awkward. all right. up next hunter's art has critics raving while families dip into their savings. ♪ avoiding triggers, but still get migraine attacks? qulipta™ can help prevent migraine attacks. qulipta gets right to work. keeps attacks away over time. qulipta is a preventive treatment for episodic migraine. most common side effects are nausea, constipation, and tiredness. ask your doctor about qulipta. liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for what you need. with the money we saved, we tried electric unicycles. i think i've got it!

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>> greg: welcome back. americans struggle to fill their cart as hunter sells his crappy art.

i guess it's time for ♪ biden family ♪ we are as corrupt as can be ♪ i said the biden family ♪ it's total incompetencey ♪ [laughter] [cheers and applause]. >> greg: and to think g nelson does that whole thing in his closet. it's amazing. hunter biden's art dealer calls him quote, one of the most consequential artists in this century. because which is weird because when has hunter actually dealt with consequences. his idea of taking responsibility is having sex with his dead brother's wife. and then abandoning his laptop like it's one of his own kids. you know when somebody's name is

george and has an s do you say jorge or georges? anyway jorge burgess has been selling the financer paintings for a half million dollars each but we don't know the buyer's identities or price tags and he won't disclose the names to congress so hunter is cashing in. but like a woman standing in front of his dear old dad, americans are feeling the pinch. yeah, huh? [cheers and applause] >> greg: why not, huh? clap i'll take it. a new poll shows four in ten, that's 40% kat, say they're worse off financially since joe biden has become president. look at those numbers. made you look. ha ha. luckily he's only been president for two years. another survey says 82% of middle income household have cut back on how much they saved or worse have dipped into their

savings to make ends meet much like david. and with inflation through the roof one in five shoppers are buying groceries at dollar stores where the best buy dates are in roman numerals. as the country goes broke it's amazing biden doesn't get more credit since he has a lot of things to tout. >> he's got a lot of things to tout. >> why do you think it has not penetratedd the american public. >> well these things don't sell themselves. >> greg: these things don't sell themselves? well if they sold themselves hunter's penis would be inside them. i know, disgusting. absolutely disgusting but we use the medically legitimate term therefore it doesn't get bleeped. little secret to you fledgeling talk show hosts out there. what say you joe. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, credit where credit is due. that's right. chuck's right. chuck todd i like that guy.

chuck, chuck, chuck, chuck, chuck. chuck wagon. remember chuck wagon? riding around the kitchen floor? yeehaw. i used to ride shotgun on chuck wagon. not a joke. true story. those bad dudes. corn pop, you want aboard the chuck wagon? denied. [cheers and applause] >> greg: brian, i have this weird feeling, okay, like when you ask people are they better off or worse off, i was going to ask you that but then i realize that we have so many things now in our lives that are cheap and take up a lot of time. do we notice that we're going downhill if we were on tik tok or on instagram. i mean, in this -- i grew up in the 70s and the 80s, i've been through bleep bleep where you know when things are bad because

you have nothing else to do. >> david: that's right we're so distracted you can look at the eggs in my fridge i can't afford those but then my gosh what can i watch over here the next 20 minutes. but think about this we're actually doing stories of people in suburban america buying chicken coops and chicken because they can't afford the legs. you're telling me life's gotten better and in your little square pot in your backyard you're putting a chicken coop? our measurements are off. which is why buttigieg says these things don't sell themselves. actually they do when inflation's double digits they sem themselves when you can't afford them they don't sell themselves. >> greg: are you better or worse off and 90% said better but those were the chickens. of course they're moving everywhere kat. they get their eggs at prepareius prices. let me ask you. have you noticed based order financial precissures or what n

your life is better or worse? in the last two years. >> kat: yeah, actually the other day my husband said to me like kat we need to cut back? i'm like, on what? we don't do anything. [laughter] >> kat: like on eating food? on my compute to work? or on my compute home from work? i don't go out. i don't do anything. >> greg: yeah >> kat: so i would notice the only reason i don't is because he's the one who reads all the credit card statements because they have numbers in them and i'm a girl so it's not my thing. if you're better off you either got a raise or not paying attention because however how much money you're making it's just not worth what it would have been before. and i also don't blame anybody for not -- like giving credit to biden. i mean, just take politics out of it. all you have to do is watch him

talk for like a couple of seconds and you're like there's no way he can be that involved in anything. it's like when you thank your little baby cousin's kid for getting you a christmas present. you're like sweetheart, thank you so much. you know they had nothing to do with it. >> greg: no, exactly. it's true. your point, you know, inflation is an invisible thing but it's a real thing, emily it's a tax. basically if you were making 80 grand a year you're probably actually in real terms, take out the taxes you're probably making 35,000 a year because everything goes up in price 10% but you're also getting taxes taken out. i know i'm using numbers emily. i'm just quoting kat. >> emily: yeah. i mean, the numbers you quoted are definitely accurate under biden's america. and taxes disproportionately affect the poor, the, you know,

lower classes. >> greg: you can say it, the smelly pieces. >> emily: and inflashily disproportionately affects the middle class. that # out of 10 american households that have dipped into their savings or stopped saving because of biden's america that happened in three months. it wasn't over two years. that poll was over, they said over a three-month period of time. and that just goes to show no matter what comfort level you have whatever cushion you have and you tell yourself yes this is secure and i've done this financially responsibly and this will take care of my family, something as unpredictable as the avian flu mixed wind this incompetent president's administration's decisions is what can obliterate your savings. it's what can obliterate your cushion and all of a sudden you live in fear. and that's why when he was asked about it on friday and he responded by swearing at the reporter, he can't even handle one question because he can't get in the trenches with americans and say this must be really hard. let me hear what you have to say. let me acknowledge your pain.

instead he's just calling his son hunter. which by the way the fbi in concert, the doj underwent an almost two year investigation i think in addition with the senate because of the money laundering and the rampant elicit behavior that goes on within the private art dealership and acquisition industry. so for him the try to force feed us again gas lighting of nothing to see here he's a genius and his art is amazing. absolutely not we should know who is buying his art because nine times out of ten guarantied it's either someone from china or maybe a prince. >> greg: snuck the avian flu in there david. >> emily:' not wrong. >> greg: the avian flu is a big deal. are you now at dollar stores because of the improceedings of western razor. >> david: not implosion, i'm the only guy dropping prices. my blades are $0.05. you know what i mean? i don't know how much lower i

can go. [laughter]. >> david: but inflation is crazy. i was at nordstrom's just to buy a sweater. turns out it's cheaper to spend the winter in barbados. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: want to end on that note you think? high note? >> david: yeah, it was. >> greg: i mean you could go to another joke but it might not be as good. >> david: what do you guys think? cheer or don't cheer. okay. >> greg: no? >> david: i don't know. >> greg: okay. up next with music that doesn't rock, there's no viewers left to shock. [cheers and applause] sounds like something. ♪ when you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion, ♪ ♪ upset stomach, diarrhea. ♪ pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief... when you need it most.

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my a1c was still stuck. my diabetes was out of control. i was tired. (female announcer) dexcom g6 sends your glucose numbers to your phone or receiver without painful fingersticks. the arrow shows the direction your glucose is heading: up, down, or steady, so you can make better decisions about food and activity in the moment. after using dexcom g6, my a1c has never been lower. i lead line dancing three times a week, i exercise, and i'm just living a great life now. it's so easy to use. dexcom g6 has given me confidence and control that everything i need is right there on my phone. (female announcer) dexcom g6 is the #1 recommended cgm system by doctors and patients. call now to get started. (bright music) >> greg: welcome back. [cheers and applause] >> greg: oh, stop it. i don't need your applause! [cheers and applause] >> greg: you're just doing it to piss me off.

sam smith stomps around on hoves while madonna's face no longer moves. this year's grammy awards was held last night and it was as edgy as a hard boiled egg. if i want to watch paves with curly hair and makeup i'll watch school teachers on tik tok. provocative apparel plastic surgery and virtue sing nals that could be seen from the moons that or bit lizzo. singer harry styles hit the market in multi colored overalls looking like a mechanic who works on clown cars. goes to show you that you don't have to shop in the men's or women's department when you can make your clothes from 1970s linoleum flooring. after the show they wiped him down with some pine sol and warm sponge. then there was attention seeker of the night sam smith. sam had promised that their live rendition of the song unholy

would anger christian viewers but instead it just made satan say maybe i should become a jehovah's witness. your routine was as scary as a gift certificate indicate as spirit halloween. no one cares. speaking of halloween. madonna. she showed up so unrecognizable it confused her own fans. it's fitting now that the material girl is 80% biodegradable. it's hard to get into the groove when you've had all the lines removed from your face. they were yelling who's that girl because her face is so unrecognizable. she was almost as scary as her date, who was also her plastic surgeon. [cheers and applause] >> greg: kat, it seems like

there's always this pattern of like, hey, this year we're going to shock those people in their living rooms. look at us. and then they come off and they look so stupid. because actually we shocked them. they don't understand america. these people -- i'm going to a mini rage monologue. these are the people that actually get shocked and outraged by our behavior every single day of their lives and then they decide we're going to go out and -- and nobody cares, nobody cares about their behavior >> kat: yeah, the costume design was like less than impressive. because satan is supposed to inties people right? from what i remember about religion, it's been a while, but the devil was supposed to be sneaky. he wasn't supposed to be like come with you and i will send you to hell forever. >> greg: exactly. >> kat: it was supposed to be sexy and hell. >> greg: then you find out you're in hell >> kat: then you find out it's

too late after you lived a life devoid of god and you get there and then go to hell or whatever thing might happen to me. but it wasn't scary and shocking like that. i don't think anybody's really -- that's not what i heard about the devil. >> greg: satan was the first time share salesman. really was >> kat: it's going to be great next thing you know you're in hell. >> greg: it's a swamp. you have these cheap razors david. >> david: just f$0.05. that's how you know you're in heaven. >> greg: would you host the grammys. >> david: i would but i don't know any of these people. i don't know a single person. i know madonna but -- >> greg: that's not even madonna. >> david: it's not. >> greg: it's a shell. the original madonna gave birth and crawled out of the shell and that's the shell. >> david: yes. this is the new phase two madonna. it's like when pikachu becomes the next version, you know. >> greg: don't nerd out.

>> david: i'm trying to get with the kids, you know in? the younger viewers know what i'm talking about. but it was overall, it was a disappointing grammys. disappointing grammy was the original title of prince harry's book. [cheers and applause] >> greg: that's good. yeah, yeah, western razor. buy a razor, the guy needs it. >> david: i need a razor folks. >> greg: yes. emily. did you just get it? >> emily: i didn't get it. now i get it. >> greg: god help me. she just got the disappointed grammy joke. emily, i have a theory and i talked about this about madonna in the past. when you goat that big and that famous, you don't have friends that can tell you you're doing something bad. she's going to keep putting stuff into her face until it explodes like a china balloon. call back. >> emily: i was thinking a she

looks sort of a mix between us la from the little mer made and jabba the hut. but you're right she's always been that queen, queen madid, ge. even if see said queen mom she would say i don't care i'm amazing. >> greg: and would fire you or whatever. so no one says anything. brian this happens to me a lot on my show, people don't want to tell me when i'm doing things wrong because i will fire them. and it's good that they don't. it's good that they don't. >> brian: here's the thing. so madonna used to be the one who was pushing the envelope. she was the sam smith and then her day passed and so this is what she's become. so don't you look ahead if you're one of these acts and say that's where i'm going. if this is my only deal that's where i end up. she said in a vanity fair magazine interview back in '91, she said i'm pushed by the fear of becoming mediocre and i think she got the fear wrong.

it's not mediocre, it's becoming a caricature of yourself because you're so obsessed. >> greg: it's true. the direction is always the same >> kat: i don't think she walked into her doctor being like, i want to look normal. >> emily: i think you hit the name on the head in terms of the shocking factor. anyone who saw the video same thing no shock there. madonna no shock there. harry styles always doing this, no shock there. what shocks these people is the thin blue line flag. it's flying the american flag in your neighborhood. daring to have a say over your child's education that is what's so shocking to these people. everything they do to me is predictable. >> greg: yeah. and there you go. [cheers and applause]. >> greg: isn't it weird? just occurred to me. almost all of the women at the grammys were men, and the only woman that was there looks like a monster. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] heir hair.

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>> greg: welcome back. shut up everybody. flight attendants discuss why they wish you took the bus. flight attendants are sharing what passenger behavior bothers them the most and venting their frustration like most people do on a facebook page. one of the top complaints was passengers failing to respond when flight attendants greet them which i understand. piece of advice from yours truly, a pat on the ass goes a long way. >> a sexist would say! >> greg: they also don't appreciate when you board the plane while talking on the enfor face timing someone. other frustrating behaviors not smiling or saying thank you when leaving the pain. probably because the entire experience of traveling sucked the life out of you. also leaving head phones on while they're trying to tell you how to buckle a sweat and let's not forget walking to the bathroom bare foot. i know. how is cat supposed to show off her extra toes?

they also hate being tapped on the shoulder. wow, it's like they're asking you to pat them on the ass. >> wow, yet another sexist would say! >> greg: one flight attendant posted this bizarre annoyens. bringing a half dead blind eyed one eyed chihuahua and slapping a service vest on it. well excuse me, that's the last time i bring my own meal on board. i eat little dogs. emily, i bet you have the opposite problem with flight attendants. they're probably like, will that lady stop smiling at me. she scares me she's so cheerful. why weren't you a flight attendant. >> emily: why wasn't i? >> greg: yeah. >> emily: i had different passions. >> greg: goals? all right next question. >> emily: i think part of what is maybe frustrating about this list from the flight attendants is that if we weren't treated like cattle we wouldn't treat you like a cattle producter.

>> greg: yes. they got the prescription backwards. >> emily: totally. like do i greet my bus driver with like hay frank how's it going he's like get the f out of here get to the back. if we're treated ike that on the planes which are nothing more than a subway in the air then i'm going to treat you probably the same way as i treat my subway driver. don't make eye contact don't talk to me i won't talk to you everything's cool. >> greg: it's a class system. you can see they treat different departments classes on the plane differently and everybody sees it. what's the worst thing you've seen on the plane? i assume in business you travel a lot. >> brian: it's probably stuff i've done actually. i have three kids so i am the guy on those planes who everybody hates. you're trying to keep your kids if their seat and, you know, not urinating on the person next to them and that's very, very hard to do. >> greg: i've never complained about that. anyway go ahead. >> brian: you want to go on a trip together because i can help you complain about that. here's the thing, when you're on a plane -- this is one i understand.

you landed, you just landed and everybody knows the rules you don't get up until the plane has stopped and there's the guy that gets up while the thing's still going 80 miles an hour i don't really care if he's doing that but you have to understand if this is use you are first time flying don't get up. i could sew a flight attendant getting upset with that. >> greg: you've been on a plane right? >> david: i only fly private so i don't know what you guys are talking about. sorry people. >> brian: you only take balloons that's the deal. >> david: i take chinese balloons and it gets me where i need to go. >> brian: keep the razor in your pocket. >> greg: that's how he gets down. >> brian: that's right. >> david: i do fly a lot. actually i picked late last night on the southwest i took the pink eye in. that's what it's become. that's what it's become. and, you know, the thing is, i can't be shocked. you know, when you live in new york i'm not shocked by behavior, just compare it to the

subway. you go on there and it's like there's a naked fellow with a knife. what are they going to do, oh, your overhead bin was open? okay. >> greg: true we've all adjusted what we're willing to handle just happy someone's not spitting on us. >> david: they should do, the people getting rudded the pilot should just do a sustained nose dive. >> greg: he can't. >> david: when there's rough turbulence, everyone behaves. they are all praying, they're all quiet. [cheers and applause] >> greg: nice. kat, should flight attendants be complaining as much? we should be complaining more. >> kat: yeah, i guess. they can complain but like does anybody care? i don't know. i really hope that like a smile from me is not going to make or break your day. it would be really sad. and also like sometimes there's reasons not to make eye contact

with them because if you make eye contact with them then they'll tell you sit down and you have to pee sometimes. i'm like i can't hear you. >> greg: the rule of thumb is if you have to pee you get up and go >> kat: and you don't make eye contact. i thought i was the only one. >> greg: you can't stop -- if you got arrested for trying to pee everyone would support you >> kat: i would love that. >> greg: you would be like the rosa parks >> kat: that would be huge for my brand. >> greg: we need a political religious figure for people who have to pee a lot. i'm that guy. i'm the guy. up next how long should you wait before bailing on a bad date? ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ just till they taste what we've got ♪ ♪ ow, ow ♪ ♪ with a big, fresh carrot ♪ ♪ and a whole lot of cheese ♪ ♪ and the mirror from your van is halfway down the street ♪ ♪ well, you can say that -- ♪ wait, what? i said, "someone just clipped the side view mirror right off the delivery van."

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>> a story in five words! >> greg: five words, 51 minutes to end date. all right, david, new poll finds people wait 51 minutes on average before making up an excuse to end a bad date and leave. do you find that's the case? around an hour, your date leaves? >> she's usually gone in 10 minutes. 51 minutes? >> greg: is that a success for you? >> i'd ask her to marry me if we got 51 minutes. are you kidding me?

>> greg: do you date anymore? >> all the time. >> greg: women are desperate. >> i know, it's gotten that bad. >> greg: kat, you're no longer single. what's a terrible date for you? >> i would leave way faster than that. there's no reason to be nice to someone on a first date because the only reason they're being nice to you is because they think they can maybe have sex with you and how dare they? >> greg: ha-ha! it's true. you -- don't put your best foot forward. put your worst foot forward! >> that's what i always did and i still got married. i don't know how! >> greg: brian, what do you make of the 50-minute thing? >> i like the number 16 on the list of excuses. number 16 was, i got to rest it. i can't -- i got arrested. i can't make the date. that's what you say if you can't make a date. i got arrested. that takes care of that date and all future dates. >> greg: yeah, because they're going to spread that all around. exactly. i once got a nose bleed on a date, emily. a nose bleed.

>> then what happened? >> greg: i can't tell you. ha-ha! >> what i thought was fascinating about this is that -- so 51 minutes is the time when everyone would leave but 25 minutes into the date apparently is when they realized that they hated it so in addition to that, all the excuses where, you know, the biggest one was not feeling well. there's an emergency at work, etc. i don't understand why at minute 25 you don't have that critical conversation and say you know what? this isn't working. i'm actually going to leave now. to me, this entire thing illustrates what's wrong with our entire society which is just honesty. you know what? i'm not going to waste your time anymore or mine. i'm going home, bye-bye. >> or you ordered aps and you're waiting for the jalapeno poppers. >> right in the middle. this is not working. >> i guess so. >> greg: what's weird. to get out of it, i say, i have explosive diarrhea. it's weird. it's a turn-on.

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>> greg: we're out of time. thank you to my guests and studio audience. >> trace: thank you, greg. good evening, everyone. welcome to fox@ night. i'm trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking tonight, president biden said his goal was always to shoot down the chinese spy balloon when it flew into u.s. air space but his military commanders advised against it, so why not shoot it down when it came near the coast of alaska late last month. chief correspondent jonathan hunt is live with answers. jonathan, experts are baffled by this whole thing. >> reporter: they are, trace. president biden addressed those questions as he