forget always set your dvr so you are always connected with us. it is america new and forever. yeah, i guess we'll be here tomorrow night. i will give you another update. we put it on instagram. i forgot to do it last night. it is on instagram now about the injury. gutfield is next. [ applause ] yes, happy! happy thursday, everyone. [ applause ] >> oh, stop it, stop it. put your clothes back on. the fallout from the train derailment in ohio is just getting started. like joy's face, it is looking worse and worse by the day.

[ laughter ] >> it is shaping up to be a classic biden's disaster. toxic and preventable and completely off the rails. although, that family a controlled burn is what hunter feels when he [ laughter ] the town hall erupted citizens and vented their anger over the handling o f the derailed toxic train which had the media asking important questions. why didn't they wear masks or did they get their boosters? roll it. >> everybody is concerned. >> i am concerned. i speak with them everyday, they have been working with us tremendously. they should because they're the ones who screwed this up. >> no one knocked on my door. i live feet from the police station, why didn't sirens go off? [ bleep ]

>> so where is our top leaders? all of this? well, president biden spoke about railroad projects on wednesday but ignored the situation in ohio. what a mistake? that's like him giving a speech on alzheimer's while not wearing any pants. we know transportation secretary mayor pete have been slow to react. who knows? he's still grappling with post partum depression. this guy is useless as [ bleep ] rachel lavine. he didn't show up despite being invited by ohio congressman, bill johnson, maybe he was boycotting roe since they were built by white construction

workers. they did tweet about it, blaming trump, conveniently forgetting he's secretary of transportation since 2021. something the rest of us could do, too. this guy is the most famous secretary ever, and why? because he sucks harder than brian stelter on a fat slurpee, which brings me to tonight's thought experiment, no, keep your clothes on, audience. for now anyway -- it is time to play "ready to reverse or opposite parallel -- whatever universe daday," does not even try anym. what if it was happening under the republican administration, how will the immemedia react? >> it is some way worse than watergate or -- >> worse than 9/11. >> a second civil war. >> that's a phrase that you are frighten of.

>> well, it would if we were stupid as you. [ laughter ] >> he's from cnn, what can you say? imagine that play is under a right president. >> this is how the apocalypse starts. >> it is not going to be zombie. >> if biden were president, he would never ride a train. donald trump derails those train using his power. >> if elon musk had bought twitter, those trains would be on track. >> earth got three weeks left, thanks gop. [ applause ] >> and of course, the democrats they would lose their [ bleep ] and that's hard for them to do because they are full of so much of it. that's better. i can already hear their screams, aoc would say that's more toxic than a man holding a door open for me. and yes, i have proof of

that. and warren would say "how?" of course, the mushroom clouds remind me of something but i can't remember what. [ laughter ] >> what about our celebs? how would they react? >> it hurts so many people. >> what's going on here? it is wrong, and this is no laughing matter. >> it is absolutely terrifying. >> we don't matter. >> when that stuff happens -- i do, in fact, go absolutely bezerk. >> enough. [ laughter ] >> now, it is under joe biden, what do you hear? crickets and not the one they snag on at cnn. you heard nothing until local news posted clips on twitter and people started to take notice, without that, would we even have known. this is another control burn. the media trying to

destroy evidence that the administration is screwing up on a daily basis. it is like the balloons and all those citizens sharing videos of them flying over their neighborhoods, had biden even responded? thanks to cell phones, eyewitness have literally became that. and how about fentanyl, without local news and citizens piping up about it. after two years, joe finally mentions fentanyl. unfortunately, he was trying to say donuts. [ laughter ] >> how about the homeless crisis. otherwise, no one cares. how frustrating for those homeless people to be that close to escaping chicago? [ laughter ] >> what about school boards green lighting curriculum that no parents would approve of. the left leaders consistently down playing the bad over and over again. who knows? maybe one day they'll step up and take

responsibility. yeah, on that same day, i will ask me to host the oscars. [ applause ] >> here he is! [ applause ] >> let's welcome tonight's guests. he's got a face for radio and a mind for a ward. the co-host of the sam roberts show, on sirius xm, jim norton. >> >> lydia monihan. >> people say she's down to earth because she sleeps in a cave. kat timpf. rp >> finally, he uses a crane a back scratcher. my heavyweight champion, tyrus. [ applause ] welcome to the show. great to see you. >> it is great to see you, greg.

always the successful friend i have. >> i was going to talk about your successes over a deck raid of reporting. you covered a lot of disasters. >> yes, i did. i cover the coriann's wedding. >> does it disturb you as much as i disturbs me? >> they are doing a banged-up job. >> people will address it. it is l lli lilike a zombie apocalyps nothing happened and two days later, people are biting each other. >> are you looking forward to that? >> yes, i am. >> i am starting on my own. >> good for you, jim. >> that makes me happy. lydia, you are a business reporter or so you claim. this will town is getting royally screwed, right? they just came out of covid, that's going to happen to their

real estate values and everything? anybody buy homes buy three-mile island? >> i don't know. i have not heard a lot about home sales in that region. >> we have some time, can you look it up? >> yeah, let me do it right now. no, it is so alarming because the fundamental rule of government is to protect citizens. our leaders are so focused on equity and infrastructure. i don't know what that is. they can't do the basics. i think this whole scenario underscored how screwed rpup our priorities are. we do have a million dollars to put somebody in hotels in ohio. i would imagine the hotels in ohio is a little cheaper in manhattan and you think of other disasters, you had fema and the national guards and you gave

people credit cards to make sure they can afford the basics. we are doing nothing here, and trying to figure it out. it is so sad, too. you hear these ads and it stroke me to camp lejune. how could we let it happen where they are exposed to chemicals. that's happening right here and nobody seems to care. >> thank you for mentioning one of our advertisements. [ applause ] >> kat, lydia makes a good point. the government is really catastrophic insurance claim. if they can't do this, what use do we have for them at all? that that's what i was saying. >> you don't want to predict that catastrophic insurance. >> well, this is just so bad. it is so absurd. there is no way any of these people are okay, and only reason that maybe any of them are okay because they're all in it together so they're

like talking to their friends, hey, how is your radio active waste land going? are you [ bleep ] kidding me with this? i don't understand how it could be something -- okay, it is trump's fault. it does not whose faults it is. there is animals dying. i was crying today because some woman's kat died. i would not be here. i would be at the white house. >> you would go totally john wick over a kat. that's 12 years old and had its own cardiac doctor. >> he does have a cardiologist, i highly recommend one. i can't be good for your health or you said home values or your future. it is so bad! it is just so bad. >> you should be the so bad correspondent. come on and say so bad.

>> yes, i don't know how anybody hasnie other reactions to this than just all consuming. oh my god, are you okay? >> crazy. >> tyrus, did you know and i hate to bring it up, did you know they filmed the movie about a chemical spill in this town? >> no. >> yes, it is called "white noise," it is on netflix. >> how did it ♪ >> i don't know. we should watch it? >> that's how this is going to end. [ laughter ] >> you know what -- >> i think they were doing secret promotions. >> this is a serious promotion. >> break a few eggs. they'll be fine. they'll not see the effects right away. it will take 10 or 15 years before the cancer comes in. by that time it will be in somebody else's watch. the sad tragedy of this is the railroad was more important than the people, that's what our government and which is funny because it is a

democratic -- which their whole spill, their about the little guys. it was the little guy that probably voted for trump, so the railroad came in and sent their own specialist in. i love that. the best thing to do is have your own people go in and test the ground and the waters. i can't hide the dead fish and birds and all the other stuff. again, they tested it. they tested at least three houses so far. it is all good. what? they were the furthest houses from the incident. but, they're tested. that area is good. we laugh because they get away with it. this is what they do with lower class neighborhoods. well, their values of their homes are irrelevant. the railroads are still going, the cfo's butt is covered and they'll move onto something else. got to take my hat off and even though i work here, fox is the only one that's keeping this story going because

everybody else is ready to move on. [ applause ] >> yeah! >> i would like to say you are welcome. >> yeah. >> that sound. all right, up next, our panel critiques a couple of freaks. [ applause ] hi, susan. honey. yeah. i respect that. but that cough looks pretty bad. try this robitussin honey. the real honey you love, plus the powerful cough relief you need. mind if i root through your trash? robitussin. the only brand with real honeyand elderberry.

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♪ every search you make ♪ ♪ every click you take ♪ ♪ i'll be watching you ♪ - [narrator] the internet doesn't have to be so creepy, the duckduckgo app, lets you search and browse pria blocking most trackers all forf your search history is never tracked, so it can't be shared. and when you leave search, duckduckgo helps keep companies from watching you as you brows. join tens of millions of people making the easy switch by downloading the app today. duckduckgo, privacy simplified. (upbeat music) george thinks he's reelectable. they share an addiction living lives in fiction. it is time for "freaky news." yeah!

no one can ever accuse us of being biassed if we cover all the freaks equally. first, sam brinton. he snaps women's suitcases at airports like it was discount monday at tj max. he appeared in the courtroom on luggage theft charges. oh, he looked delightful where he was let go without bail. his lawyer said either he would not flee or he has fleece. [ laughter ] >> i don't know. reporters there asked some really important questions. >> have you been to the restroom? why would you want some lady's dirty clothes. >> larry craig tapped his toes in the men's bathroom looking for some nookie. great question.

when someone asks why you are hoarding women's dirty clothing, you better have an answer ready even though it don't looked good. george santos is telling advisers he's running for reelection in 2024, despite promising that he would not. usually when he makes as promise, you can take it to the bank. just don't cash it in for a few days. george santos is the 34-year-old congressman who served turned nixon and both bush's administration and the white house florist. for more, welcome friend of the show, george santos. [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> so, congressman, will you or will you not run for reelection? >> greg, i have already said i would run and would not run. the only thing that won't get called

a lie is this. i can't remember if i am going to run. [ laughter ] >> well, let me ask you this since we are doing this segment, who should people trust more? you or sam brinton, the thief. >> sam pretends to be a dog. i allegedly stole dogs. anyone can pretend to be a dog, it takes far more cunning to steal dogs. it is not easy. [ laughter ] >> good point. good point. we can't let you go without asking, when is your drag persona making a comeback? >> as soon as i get the suitcase i ordered from sam brinton. congressman george santos, thank you. [ applause ] >> so, lydia, these are two strange but interesting people. who would you want to have a drink with among the two? >> oh --

[ laughter ] >> i would be afraid to drink around them. [ laughter ] >> i don't know, there would be a supervision here? >> it would be a chaperone, it would be jim. >> okay. >> i would prefer to avoid that situation entirely. i am shocked that sam is facing any consequences ors what he did. >> me, too. >> i am happy for the people who got their luggage back. last month when my backpack was stolen, i did not get it back. i filed all police reports and i went to this dungeon, subway station to file a police report with the metro police and lost and found, i did all the right things and they called me up and said, oh, we found your backpack. your mac book is pinging in new jersey. oh, it is great, why don't you go get it? no, we can't do that. >> why? >> they never explained why. prp>> so there is some sam

impersonator right now wearing my makeup. >> sure. [ laughter ] >> why waste them if you got them? >> you know jim, you live with both men, '97 with brinton and santos. >> i told george, that dress made him looked fat. >> didn't george was rescued from the rubble of 9/11. >> would it have been great when sam brinton, why did you steal woman's clothes. would it be great for him to turn ar around -- because i am crazy. wearing dress is not that weird. we have all done things that we regretted and filmed and paid for. to steal's somebody's dirty clothes. that's the psychotic part, george santos, i will not tolerate any bad-mouthing. he's

my guy and he's the most naked version than anybody else in washington. do you know what you have to be in d.c., where that guy lies a lot. >> he's the most transparent liar in d.c. >> i love him. >> he's going to be on our show, tyrus. >> lydia, i think it is easy which one you want to drink with, obviously george santos. you can do whatever you want and do the craziest in front of him. what is he going to do? tell other people? no one will believe it. >> he'll tell you whatever you want to hear. >> oh yeah. >> tyrus, we have asked santos to come on the show and he won't come on. do you have any strategies like to convince him or like maybe visiting him? >> i don't know, lie to him. tell him if he comes on, we'll endorse him for president. the whole show will be by his campaign. >> oh, that would be amazing and

we'll donate a check for $1 million to any dog charity of his choosing. >> or just to him. he'll give you a million dollars or one of those big giant checks. >> i feel bad for the ladies who got their luggage back. i don't think you should open that. >> no. >> i am going on a limb, your clothes have seen some things and probably the best thing for them is to burn it. >> yeah. >> and move on. >> i -- jim is right though. i is weird to steal other people's clothes if you are like -- when people break into homes, they don't do that. >> it is like the perfect crime if you a serial killer. >> yeah. >> because you are dressed with other people's clothes with their dna and you do stuff with your dna and everybody -- you didn't think about that? >>. [ laughter ] >> that's why i sit in this chair.

[ applause ] >> okay. wait -- i always worry about something like this is real human hair but i didn't grow it. i bought it. what if the lady grew this hair kills people? yes. >> am i going to get arrested? >> i hope so. there is a ball of murderers out there. >> wait, did you say ball mur murder? [ laughter ] >> i would love to see the women who get their luggage back and using their panty hose and using it as golf clubs. >> i don't get it. we have no idea what it means. >> oh, i get it. [ laughter ] >> all right, up next, new racist jokes at the expense of white folks. [ applause ] t with an advisor to create your personalized plan. -let's find the right investments for your goals

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welcome back, insults for all occasions if the targets

were caucasians. when it comes to slur whiteys, these student say all righty. new slurs for white people as seen here. in case you forgot what a white person looks like. there. [ laughter ] >> oh, it was sent in a group chat called au student connect which auburn says including hundreds of people from multiple universities. the document titled creeker name. i hope that's a typo contains hundreds of slurs andt is hilarious as it is horrifying. some of the meanest insults includes mockery of humanity. bleached demons, abino pigs. sounds like a transcript from voice mails i get from charles payne. some may be offensive but i love bleached demons. it

sounds like a laundry product that i can use in my tighty-whities. that last one sounds delicious like a cereal with tiny babies. here are some i have not heard before. years worth of dirt caked up that you have not seen and bald by the age of 25. all and all there were some creativity. still not demeaning to white people as this. ♪ ♪ >> or this. ♪

♪ on the 12th day of christmas ♪ ♪ halftime report ♪ -- >> or this. ♪ tyrus, i never get sick of that. what do you make of the list? >> man, that's stupid. here is the thing about picking on white people. i major in it. >> oh. >> they're not fazed by names. >> that's true. >> they don't care. call them white bread or chicken neck or crackers or something -- you are right, they don't care. you can't insult them with names. you insult them with presents or taking their girl and sending them back to her. [ laughter ] >> that's how you get them, you know? that does not work with them. they'll make fun of themselves way more than you do.

they literally and every time, we always have one why guy with us, someone talking to the police. he would always be the butt of jokes but he would start them and he'll be se self-depricating. you goo is make fun of yourselves. this list is irrelevant. i did like bleached demons. >> kat, i was reading it and i didn't feel anything. i don't know why, you explained it. >> no, i was reading it and trying to evaluate it in terms of creativity. i do want to know like what's it for? i read the whole list and things in parenthesis, this one is my favorite. like favorite for what? they put a lot of work into it but no one bothered me but they were joking around. you

can't get too twisted. i wrote a whole book about how it is comedy and everybody needs to chill out. >> you have to kind of do the cliche if it were the reverse. >> that's the thing that's wrong. >> tv would but i would be laughing my ass off if you had a good list. when i was in college, i used to pick on my center who was the whitest guy on the planet and one day he got tired of it and he said, "leave me a long, white cracker," i was white skin. that was hilarious. i didn't beat him up because boy, that's good for calling me that. >> they didn't even finish the list. no, they left off two of my favorites. quiet in the movies and invented electricity. [ laughter ] >> i did write down a couple of my favorites. there were a couple of these that were gems. failed abortions because it was

in a band i was in. racist rascals because that was the name of the band i auditioned for. >> see, you can't insult that. [ laughter ] >> i don't think -- that whole bleached demon is what sam brinton uses. >> what did you make of this? >> i was not impressed. i was disappointed of the future of america. i thought these kids are not creative. i m mean -- cotton that should not be picked? i didn't -- i don't know, i didn't do anything for me. i was ready for some clever insults and i thought they were a little off base. >> they're workshoping it. >> that goes back to my point. you can't call white people names. >> 250 and really none of them i thought were that great. >> yeah. >> what are they going to call it? >> greg, maybe you should go down there and teach a comedy writing class. >> i may never come back, i am not teaching that. they'll

continue this conversation on "fox and friends" tomorrow. >> i hope so. >> coming up, tucker explores the woke obsession with shutting down free expression. [ applause ] oh, that spin class was brutal.

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who knows what you can do when you du more with less asthma. ask your asthma specialist about dupixent. ♪ mara, are you sure you don't want -to go bowling with us tonight? -yeah. no. there's my little marzipan! [ laughs ] oh, my daughter gives the best hugs! we're just passing through on our way to the jazz jamboree. [ imitates trumpet playing ] and we wanted to thank america's number-one motorcycle insurer

-for saving us money. -thank you. [ laughs ] mara, your parents are -- exactly like me? i know, right? well, cherish your friends and loved ones. let's roll, daddio! let's boogie-woogie! he's the rating king now doing the documentary thing. you know who i am talking about. ♪ >> they call him tucker, tucker,

smart as can be, no one you will see ♪ gets ratings like he ♪ ♪ and we know tucker, tucker ♪ ♪ nothing he won't do ♪ ♪ to prove he's the one ♪ ♪ true king of tv ♪ [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> oh, that was so twisted. >> yeah, the fearless and ageless guy is tucker carlson, the depth of comedy, it makes it weird that he decides to come on my show to promote it. welcome back to the program, tucker, how are ya? [ applause ] >> i am dimly aware that there are like weight fluctuation in my life but i never watch tv. oh my god, no more pizzas for me. >> did you enjoy that little thing we made for you? i think you should replace the opening

of your show with that. > > ugh, it makes me sick. h is what we learn, greg, if you were to offer a program that was funny and not terrified, you can beat the existing offerings in late night comedy because there is that hole there, something you should think about. >> yeah, you know it is true and i am kind of worried once they figure out, i am out of a job. i like the fact that they have not done that yet. the only funny person other than -- is don lamon. >> that's totally true. >> he's the funniest person on television. >> it is so interesting. it is like you are baelting them because you are better, you are inherently funny. your native humor is better than this but you are not terrified. it is not a complicated formula. if you are stephen colbert, you are

talented. then you become a show for pfizer because you are so afraid of getting yelled at and then you lose then like does it occur to you that i am humiliating myself and being beaten by greg gutfeld? no, they can't because they're in a fierce spiral. it is wonderful to see you are dominating. >> everything behind this cancer culture or depth of comedy is fierce. i pretty much figured that was the case. where do you see the fear -- where is it that's causing the fear? you said it could be the wife but something is larger going on. >> there is a spirit of fear that's descended on the country, the levels of paranoia and looking over your shoulders and checking over yourselves before you speak. people don't feel free, that's really what matters

so there is that. anyone who's willing to say what he really thinks and observe reality as he sees it and not filter it through some sort of internal propaganda machine. that person has to make a conscious effort not to be afraid. you deal with this every single day, of course. you beat it like you push down those feelings of fear and conquer them and you win. that's kind of what shocked me as why are more people doing that? >> right. >> is the fear so overwhelming they they're willing to destroy their careers? you find yourself making a joke to joe biden or you are sucking up to power. you don't you hate yourself? >> you have jim norton? >> was it hard to get people to talk to you because this show has a hard time talking to adam about this. there are comedians

that would love this show but for some reason they canceled and you know it is an agent or pr person or a significant other. >> it is not just the middle-aged unhappy or putting this pressure on comedians. it is really their managers and agents and the people who gate keep throughout the entertainment business, of course. on the other hand, like success in itself justifies, i think, what they could do if they were not terrified. in other words, if your agent is not going to support you, get rid of your agent. you don't need an agent. it is deeper than that. the problem is, this loss of confidence and people are totally convinced that they just obey and they'll get through it. when this finally ends, they're going to look at themselves and hate what they see and their children won't respect them. there is a huge cost of becoming

a bitch. that's just true. [ applause ] >> i think i got time for one question. i was thinking about like what were my favorite comedies growing up and would they be able to do it today? the first real comedy was rated-r. i saw breasts, i have never seen it before. i think about that movie. is there any movie you loved that could not be made now or everyone sitcoms. >> i have not watched a movie since "animal house. " of course, it was hilarious because it was true like comedy is only funny when it is true. that's when they crush the comedians, when they control the comedians, you should be worried, it is not

just some guy can't say what they want. the people in charge won't allow criticisms themselves. so god bless you. that's what i have learned. >> it is fox nation and available now. >> yes, you got to figure out fox nation which is super easy. >> yeah, it is very easy once i figure it out. >> >> >> it is streaming now. thank you. >> she won't be sad long listening to this song, up next. oh, my daughter gives the best hugs! we're just passing through on our way to the jazz jamboree. [ imitates trumpet playing ] and we wanted to thank america's number-one motorcycle insurer -for saving us money. -thank you. [ laughs ] mara, your parents are -- exactly like me? i know, right? well, cherish your friends and loved ones. let's roll, daddio! let's boogie-woogie!

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five words that makes you happiest. a university professor used a scientific formula that determines good vibration is the tune that makes other people happier than any other songs in the universe. >> no. if you are studying songs to figure which ones make you happy, like you are doing it wrong. >> sad songs make you happy? >> no. sometimes they do. sometimes sad songs make me happy because they make me feel validated. >> there you go. >> all right, atlanta

morrisette. my song is "the end" by the door, tyrus. >> okay, i didn't ask. i would say yes, i agree. the beach boys because they always represent, it was a happy time. you are outside and at the beach and it is summer. it literally says good, good, good vibrations like the way their style and stuff. whenever i heard it, my mom was in a good move and happiness runs downhill. i don't want to come here and hearing guar. i am not coming in the house. happy song, why not? >> your experience with good vibration, jim? >> sure, sitting on something right now. >> you are more of a metal head. >> yes, i am, but a happy song. the birds are at the doorsteps and singing the song of true and

telling you don't worry. this song annoys me. because they said good, good, i got it. it is good. >> you trust the science. >> yeah. >> lydia, let me guess, you love "imagine dragons." >> i feel like i can't say yes to that. let's see what else. i bet you went to a dave matthew's band in a concert. >> lizzo, i like songs that i dance in. >> why do skinny people like lizzo so much? >> are you saying i am skinny? >> well, you put on a few pounds but that's okay. >> i can't even answer that without getting in trouble. >> do you agree, "good vibrations"? >> i feel like this person has an agenda. they should have said this is the range of songs instead of choose one. they clearly had an agenda.

>> is the study funded by big beach boys? >> exactly. >> two of the top ten songs were beach boy songs. "good vibrations" and another one but i forgot another one. >> that's the best reporting that needs to go in the study. >> two of them were beach boys. >> all right. poor jan and dean. they just go, why am i not on the list? [ laughter ] >> we'll be right back. [ applause ]

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to smooth, heal, and moisturize your dry skin. gold bond. champion your skin. we are out of time. thanks to our studio audience. we love you, america! [ applause ] thank you, greg, good evening to everyone and welcome to america's late news. i am trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking tonight, president biden finally breaks his silence over those unidentified flying objects. his comments come 12 days after the chinese spy balloon was down and six days after the first unidentified object was shutdown over north america. he took 0 questions and even seemed to repeat the vice president suggesting the balloon episod