>> laura: how often do you think she actually thinks about a venn diagram? about as much as she thinks of astronauts, or outer space? that's it for us tonight. remember, set your dvr so you always stay connected with us. remember, it is america now and forever. graciously. greg gutfeld is next. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> kat: happy thursday, everybody! i'm kat, but you can call me ms. timpf if you're nasty. [laughter] let's talk about the supreme court, and a law called section 230.

i know what you thinking. "kat, that has numbers in it. ew, gross. if i cared about triple digit numbers, i look at ratings for cnn." [laughter] but if this law goes away, it could destroy the internet as we know it. but don't worry, joey. porn will still be available, so you won't lose her second job. get it? you thought i was saying he likes porn, but i'm saying he is in porn. thank you for your service. [laughter] so, this week the supreme court heard two cases from families who lost loved ones in terrorist attacks, and those families are suing social media companies, alleging they should be held liable for helping isis. when case involved the 2015 paris attacks. it argued that youtube's algorithms recommended isis propaganda to users. the other case claimed twitter

gave isis assistance and didn't do enough to police them from sharing content. and that is where section 230 comes in. it is a short law written in 1996 that is said to have created the internet. it goes like this: "no provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider." those words allowed the internet to grow exponentially over the past 25 years. because sites like google, twitter, youtube, and facebook couldn't be sued over the content users post on their platforms. now, that was great for anyone who loved free speech, but like when the president climbed stairs, it comes with a risk. [laughter] now, obviously, no one wants to

stand on the side of terrorists. even if the fear of further lawsuits sent mark zuckerberg fleeing to his home planet. [laughter] imagine how pissed off he would look -- [laughter] and for reference, here he is having sex. [laughter] but changing this law would open the door for censoring things other than terrorism, too. and once that door is open, it'll be harder to close and don lemons mouth. [laughter] think about it. it's not like isis content gets through because big tech people love isis. of course they don't. isis isn't vegan. [laughter] and they don't wear hoodies to work. it's because companies can't catch everything that everyone is posting all of the time. otherwise they would be sending a s.w.a.t. team after every creep in my comment section.

[laughter] check your grandfathers, please. and we know, isis content is not always overtly labeled for what it really is. and i get it, it's easy to hate big tech. they bopped around san francisco drinking oat milk lattes and acting like they are so much better than you. well, at least when they do take a break from whining about having to come into the office. if i wanted to hear people bitch about their cushy jobs, i'd have lunch with jimmy failla. [laughter] but recently, both political sides have argued in favor of ending section 230. for liberals, it's about the hate speech on the platform. of course, their definition of hate speech is broader than a kardashian's ass. [laughter] for conservatives it's about wanting to hold big tech liable

for silencing our shadow banning their views, like crazy confusing theories about gross stuff on hunter biden's laptop, which could be traced back to gross stuff on hunter biden's laptop. [laughter] but all of the bad things about big tech, and a desire for your voice to be heard, are exactly why you should want to keep section 230. you think big tech censorship is bad now, just imagine how many more things would get censored if these platforms had to worry about getting sued. it would be like trying to watch the movie "scarface," if it were edited by dana perino. [laughter] it would be 10 minutes long, and about dogs. [laughter] bottom line, these platforms would be most worried about getting sued by those with the greatest means to do so: the powerful. and if companies like twitter have to worry about that, and they know that it's basically impossible to keep track of everything being posted, don't

you think they might just automatically decide to ban any mention of those people at all? and when it comes to bad press, the rich and powerful can be a real pain in the ass. so, without section 230, i am afraid that the ability to speak truth to power on the internet might completely disappear. although, i admit, if [bleep] pics from randos went away, i'd be very happy. [laughter] but that's really not about speech. and i am a firm believer that free speech is good. the answer to speech you disagree with is never to shut it down, but to answer with your own. that's why i talk so much. i do it for my country. [laughter] plus, blaming a social media site for what a person posts makes about as much sense as blaming a gun for what a person shoots. it didn't work for alec baldwin,

and it ain't gonna work for us! [cheers and applause] welcome! tonight's guests -- he was the "half" in "two and a half men." he's laughing! johnny joey jones! [applause] she's not angry. that's just how she talks. cohost of "the five," judge jeanine pirro! [cheers and applause] he looks like peter pan, if he grew up to run a hookah bar. comedian host of the new show, "who the [bleep] is that?" jeff dye! [applause] and it takes a forest to make his wooden clogs. my sidekick and heavyweight champion, tyrus. [cheers and applause]

okay. yeah, i chose this model a topic because a lot of liberals and conservatives hate section 230. i guess i haven't had enough people yelling at me. [laughs] joey, do you think there's any facility to the concern that repealing it would end up censoring conservatives more? >> joey: sure, but also, like if you break it you buy it, that's where i land on this. i believe in section 230 and that the internet should be a place of free speech, but you have to turn it back around to social media companies and say, once you start censoring, you are liable for censoring, so now you are curating. i think it's more of a bluff than anything. hey, social media companies -- if you wanted to be free speech, let it be free speech and don't edit anything off there. it's not one of the other. it either has to be a post-it board or a curated presentation. that's the problem. maybe this isn't as easy as a partisan talking point, for the first time in politics in a while.

we hate twitter, but we like elon -- we hate electric cars, but they're built in america. there is some duality here. maybe big tech isn't the worst, but it's also not the best. i think they have their work cut out for them. i think social media is an absolutely destructive thing to america, but socks dominic folks knew who i am fox news land because i have a twitter. >> kat: social media went away, he would have no idea what to do. >> tyrus: the ad. boy, this is the part where i tell you guys i was really high. [laughter] i agree. maybe we come up with 231 and we add a thing, "knowingly. close with the biggest problem with twitter before elon but it is that they were knowingly censoring and deciding what was newsworthy and what is not due to favor of party. in that case, the people who did that should be held accountable. maybe not twitter itself. it's almost like with politicians that have qualified immunity, which i think is

something that needs to be adjusted. if you go push out hate speech or go after a group because you don't agree with their beliefs, you should be accountable for that. so maybe you don't get to sue twitter, but the ceos who sat around deciding we don't want to hear what johnny joe he has to say because he works for fox, they should be held liable. let's split the diff, know what i'm saying? 231. and i'm sorry i was high. [applause] >> kat: judge, you are a judge, and -- >> jeanine: i guess an angry one! >> kat: what joey says, the law doesn't allow anything, so that's a good point you bring up and a lot of people are saying you need to amend it or add something else. what do you think will happen here? >> jeanine: the problem with section 230 is that it doesn't provide protection for certain people. let me explain what i mean by

that. if you allow anything to go on the internet, which is free speech at its best, the problem is, if you prioritize certain speech, if you allow certain speech that maybe is defamation, or may be liable, the issue is whether or not you should be liable the way a publisher is. so the question is, 230 is a platform. that book right they are, if there are lies in greg gutfeld's book, you could sue the publisher. >> it's there are. >> jeanine: [laughs] but i'm not saying that. you could sue the publisher. i'm not so sure that social media should get away with letting anything on the platform and say you have nothing to do that, because you know everyone has a bias, everyone has a particular ag agenda. we found that out because of elon musk. so i think there has to be some regulation. they can't, willy-nilly, let

anything on without being responsible in some way. so people who are maybe -- they end up being a terrorist because they learned about something on the internet, maybe the internet and these platforms should be more careful about certain things. i'm not saying suppress speech, but recognize when speech is not truthful and when they are prioritizing speech as compared to other speech. [applause] >> kat: i would just like to add, saying don't let anything willy-nilly on could be good advice and other areas of life. [laughter] oh! jeff, i want to really get even here because you are well respected as the country's number one united states code comedian. >> jeff: that's true, i'm the number one nontrans cruise ship comedian in 2020. that's a fact. [applause]

thank you. i will admit when i don't know stuff. >> kat: by the way, that's a good thing. so many people dig their heels and with something nothing about. >> jeff: it's too complex for me. i don't understand, i don't know, i don't have any answers. i'm not complaining but i also don't have solutions for it. it seemed like a lot -- i agree with this, i just like the idea before i read it. i thought isis had a guy that was, like, in charge of a facebook page. >> kat: [laughs] >> jeff: a picture a guy being like, "you're not very good at this, just run the socials." "you've been poked by isis!" but then i started to read it and i don't know anything about it. spew and if they were verified as isis -- >> jeff: turns out it's way more complex and i read it to others. i really don't know anything about this one. [applause] >> tyrus: you just got cheered for knowing nothing. i get it. but i still think, free speech, yes.

but their on sconces for what you say. if you want to stand by what you say, understand there are consequences. we seem to be living in a time where nobody wants consequences. they just want their feelings to be facts and no one to protect them. so there needs to be a check. >> jeff: that's a problem with anonymity on twitter, also. i can just make up a thing and say a bunch of crazy stuff. how do you hold them accountable? >> joey: judge, he said something about, if you know it's not fact, if you have fact-checkers at all, now you are liable for everything that isn't a fact that you don't label not a fact. that's the problem. if you just say it's on there, you decide if you want to believe it, that is section 230, right? but once you start saying it's not true, but this might be true -- >> jeanine: how about child pornography connect that's easy there has to be some accountability, some responsibility, and inciting riots, child pornography, all kinds of defamation. as you say, you don't know who's saying it, but if you allow

this, knowingly allow it -- and we know it from elon musk and from twitter, if you allow this kind of thing to proliferate, then there are consequences. >> kat: we do have to go to break, but you guys are all invited to come over to my apartment later and we can continue to hash this out. all right, great. [applause] >> joey: what's your exact address? >> kat: up next, they are in another mess because someone recognized the dress. [applause] [sfx: stomach gurgling] it's nothing... sounds like something. ♪ when you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion, ♪ ♪ upset stomach, diarrhea. ♪ pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief... when you need it most.

>> kat: it was their crime of passion to steal others' fashion. [laughter] america's favorite bald criminal cross-dresser is back in the news. no, not jesse. [laughter and applause] sam brinton! the lex luthor of nonbinary government hacks was busted once again, for allegedly stealing yet another suitcase full of clothes. who needs that many suitcases? i only need 12. this time, at houston-based fashion designer claims she lost a bag of custom-made dresses at a d.c. airport back in 2018. finally, something that is not mayor pete's fault! [applause]

you'll never guess where the clothes turned up. [laughter] >> jeanine: joey, that's you! >> kat: close, very close! >> joey: i don't know how you got that picture! >> kat: but guess again. in a tweet, the designer said she spent her one-of-a-kind dress. houston-based fashion designer, we have a problem! it appears that sam road-tested more than one thing from the bad, showing up at various events wearing designs that bear a striking resemblance to the stolen dresses. it is a move requiring a lot of balls. [laughter] no matter how they tuck 'em! [laughter and applause]

the fashion designer reported it to police, and the fbi contacted her, but they haven't heard anything since giving them the information. but, knowing sam and airports, it won't be long before we get another baggage claim. [thunder sound effects] oh, man. jeff, if someone found your luggage, what would they find? >> jeff: just a ton of really nice dresses like this with capes on them on them. >> kat: [laughs] >> jeff: no, no, no. this is two segments in a row, i feel very embarrassed by the spirit i've worked for nbc so long, i thought it was a "who are best?" section. i feel embarrassed. i was going to go with the lady from houston pages because i like ladies. [laughter] >> tyrus: that's fair. you got to go with what you --

>> jeff: not everyone did a great, but one is way better looking. >> joey: ladies on the streets and maybe freaks in the dresses, is that what you're saying? >> jeff: no, i like it just ladies. [laughter] >> tyrus: again, you've got to go with what you know. >> kat: joey, what would you say if you met this person? i feel like i would just go with "bruh." which is gender-neutral, by the way. >> joey: i spent a lot of time on this last night. the side-by-side of the dresses, the patterns don't match up. i realized -- this is how you know it's a dude and that it or they are anything else. this is a dude. he put the dress on backwards and probably had no idea. [laughter] the forensic analysis, if i put a dress on, all my zippers are in the front. you know what i mean? easy access, it's necessary. that is a dude in lipstick. i don't care what it says about itself at any point in time. he doesn't even know how to put

the dress on. also, the balls on this guy to go steal a fashion designer's bag with a bunch of one-of-a-kinds? he had to pick that out on purpose. >> kat: always use the correct pronouns. i'll say "they is a [bleep] idiot." "did you see that psycho? they is insane." judge, you are a judge. [laughter] have you ever seen a case like this in your court of law? >> jeanine: no, never. but this is a classic biden employee. [laughter] [cheers and applause] they like that. >> kat: they like that one! >> jeanine: if a guy is with the department of energy, is that any surprise when the same department he wants all of us who can't afford it to buy electric vehicle? this is his third or fourth suitcase and they didn't want to

let him go. first of all, when you fire him just for looking like an idiot? [laughter and applause] i get that's not a crime, but that's not my courtroom. >> jeff: era judge, you can't fire him for that! >> jeanine: you don't know me, do you? [laughter] >> joey: my office is next to hers and she 1000% would. >> kat: she does calls different places she doesn't work and fires people. they listen. i would. tyrus, how many more of these do think there are? >> tyrus: oh, there's hundreds. we are all laughing, but you realize he said he told this lady. he followed her. >> joey: that's what i'm saying. >> tyrus: my concern, why would somebody steal somebody else's clothes to hide their dna. that's the way i look at it. for real. have you seen some of this dude's photos? unfortunately gutfeld forced us all to see them.

it has pups in all this weird stuff he does come and a lot of it is nefarious, and it seems to be. so if you're wearing other people's stuff, the dna is all over the place and somebody else could be blamed for your crime. you got scared about your extensions because you don't know what they did. what if they were a murderer? so it's more than just stealing bags. he's targeting women, stealing their belongings, and i would just like to say, tsa always stops me when i have my luggage and asked me for my i.d. and i had one say, "where's tyrus at?" and i said, "it's the t in the middle. may i go?" what are we doing, airport security? >> joey: they always stop me and say, "sir, are you sure those are your legs?" [laughter] >> jeff: and he is stealing women's' struggle. >> kat: serial killers who keep trophies, they likes to

wear the clothes and post trophies from the scene of the crime! idiot! >> tyrus: he's like a villain when batman runs out of [bleep] to arrest. the writer is like, "we need a new villain! held out a guy who steals women's dresses and wears the backwards? mwa-ha-ha!" [laughter] >> kat: up next, they once wrote about tunes, now they are cancel culture lunes. [applause] ♪ ♪ if you have heart failure, entrust your heart to entresto, a medicine specifically made for heart failure. entresto is the #1 heart failure brand prescribed by cardiologists. it was proven superior at helping people stay alive and out of the hospital. heart failure can change the structure of your heart, so it may not work as well. entresto helps improve your heart's ability to pump blood to the body. and just imagine where a healthier heart could take you.

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♪ ♪ >> kat: cancel culture ain't no drag, argues a crummy dying rag. when they're not making lists of the top 400 bob dylan albums, "rolling stone" is making the case for why cancel culture is good for democracy. that's like saying greg is good for empathy. [laughter] author ernest ellens writes, "cancel culture as we consider

it today feels new because of the digital platforms we have at our disposal. previous generations were canceling, but the road to accountability was paved with many barriers, both technologically and socially." worse, he thinks that's good. but elon musk begs to differ, tweeting, "how blatantly obnoxious that they just want to keep canceling people. do they ever write about music anymore? they should rename themselves scolding stone." [laughter] you tell them, elon. [cheers and applause] and by "them," i mean dad jokes. i did some digging, and i was able to find a really amazing explanation of why canceling people on social media is not good in an upcoming book. "it's time we all recognize the

limits and pitfalls of social media and associated outrage, and start treating people as exactly what they are: complex and deserving of the kind of consideration that acknowledges that reality." wow. that's very smart. i bet the person who wrote it is super hot, also. [applause] >> jeff: i didn't write it. >> kat: the book is not out yet, but it's called, "you can't joke about that: why nothing is funny, everything is sacred, and we are all in this together." and it's available for preorder wherever books are sold. judge, i mean, a lot of people have tried to cancel you a lot of times, right? >> jeanine: oh, yeah. >> kat: how if you avoided it? >> jeanine: because it will be canceled. >> kat: that's the right attitude. >> jeanine: the problem is a lot of people crawl into a hole or feel embarrassed. you know, hit me. i don't care.

in the end, i'm honest and i'm clear about what i think and what i say, and they can drop dead. i really could care less. [cheers and applause] >> kat: if you only knew how much she means it! [laughs] tyrus, i think people who write stuff like this, i have a theory that they maybe think, if they write this stuff, it'll keep them from being canceled someday. but it doesn't really work like that. >> tyrus: they work for rolling stone. the cancel happen, you just didn't see it yet. i'm the same way, i give zero [bleep] about cancel culture. [applause] my truck is paid for, i've got savings. i'll take the time off and wear it as a badge of honor. but when you have people -- and ricky gervais' said it best. the arrogance of these people who think their feelings are more important than anyone else, that they can go through life and never be insulted or never not like something. if they don't see something, the entire world needs to change it. their newest thing is they want to go back and take classic

novels like "charlie and the chocolate factory," they want to take the words out, and they come up with typical great speech hillbilly in this, iand say, "were not going to say fat anymore, were going to say enormous." dumbass, that's worse. [applause] their feelings are so important, but their feelings are wrong. get over yourself. the good news is we see people starting to fight back. and to judge's point, if you are a target of canceling, don't apologize for saying something. we allow for redemption in this country. sorry still mean something if you genuinely think you did something wrong. but if you didn't understanding by your morals, kiss my ass. again, my truck is paid for. [applause] >> kat: do you ever worry about getting canceled? >> jeff: i say some pretty

outrageous things. >> kat: but also, part of comedy is you swing and you miss. you have to let people be able to do that. >> jeff: i have cared less about in recent years. in in the house annoying one is when people try to pretend like they wouldn't be some way in a different time. if you read "charlie and the chocolate factory," you would have thought it was normal. you're not so good, you're just good now, young people. you will later be considered garbage or whatever you're doing now. and hundred years, if they give you a statue, it will be torn down. "did you know kat timpf enslaved a cat in her apartment?" [laughter] "we let cats vote now!" you're only as good as your time. that's the weirdest thing. i'm sure whatever i tweeted today or whatever judge treated today, she's going to be like, "i don't give a damn!" but in 20 years, she might be like -- but that's what i worry about most. these people are good for now

but they're not good later. >> kat: joey, what do you think? >> joey: this is "rolling stone." i don't know what they know about cancel culture. i put a picture of a bomber on social media, and the bomber who tried to kill me can kiss my ass. [applause] the best line in this whole piece says, "cancel culture has leveled the playing field for those who can't always rely on government to protect them." bro, that's guns. [applause] >> kat: yep. that's a great name for your book. "yeah, bro: that's guns." i can see it on "fox & friends." think about it. we can workshop it. coming up, should your pup have to buckle up? [applause] is 101 years old this year and counting. i'm bill lockwood, current caretaker and owner. when covid hit, we had some challenges like a lot of businesses did.

i heard about the payroll tax refund, it allowed us to keep the amount of people that we needed and the people that have been here taking care of us. see if your business may qualify. go to getrefunds.com.

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put a seat belt on lassie when you drive through tallahassee! [laughter] >> that's good. >> kat: thank you. a florida bill would make it illegal for dogs to fit in a driver's lap or stick their head out the car window while it's moving. doesn't florida have bigger problems? [laughter and applause] the bill was introduced by democrat state senator lauren book, also known as what i might look like if i ever saw the sun. [laughter] the bill would require dogs to ride in a crate attached to a seat belt or on the lap of someone other than the driver, and specifically prohibits transporting a dog on the roof of the moving vehicle. which sounds so specific, you have to wonder where the idea came from. [laughter]

and, reminder, dogs should never be behind the wheel. unless you need to get to 7-eleven and you have knocked back a few. dogs can get in trouble with the law. they just snitched on other people on behalf of the law create just one of many reasons why i'm a cat person. there's always like three of us. jeff, are you glad this does not apply to humans sticking their head out the window? you seem like he might do that. >> jeff: i do! it's kind of my thing. it's official, dogs have more restrictions in florida than people. >> kat: [laughs] >> jeff: i was just in jacksonville, i saw two homeless guys on the meth bang each other and nobody said anything. but now dogs can't stick their heads -- >> kat: get a dog into the mix! >> jeff: this is their favorite thing to do, this is so unfair to dogs. >> kat: judge, you have your poodles and you take them with you. what do you do when you travel with them? >> jeanine: first of all, i'd

be arrested, because i have a convertible and i have the three of them in the convertible. they would arrest me. he put the top down, he put goggles on them, and you go. i'm reading the law now. if the bill passes and it's violated, a provision would allow courts to ban ownership of animals for offenders. you're not taking my dog away from me! who the hell are you? i get the thing about mitt romney. >> kat: i agree! people say it's not that big of a deal. it is to me! if you ever took a photo of you in a convertible with the dogs in the back, i would buy at least an eight by ten. >> jeanine: you want one? >> i do ! i think you should trust that people know their own dogs. if your drawing on a country road, that's different than having your dog hanging out on the expressway. >> joey: she is so dumb, she has to be a gator. i know where this is going.

this is because the university of georgia bulldogs have whipped their tales so much in football, she's trying to symbolize what they are all living. but listen, this is dumb. let me tell you why. if you come from where we are, like georgia, florida, dogs aren't just pets, they are accessories to a thing called hunting. and you say, "boy, get up there," they jump in the back of the truck, they have to have their face in the win because they are smelling for the next thing you're going to go kill and eat, that's what dogs are for. my dad had a dog named "get down" because every time he jumped in the truck, he had to yell, "boy, get down!" all of that is true. [applause] spewing i was just thinking about how neither i know your dog would last five minutes in your world! [laughs] tyrese, you have like a hundred animals. you have big lizards and stuff. >> tyrus: let me break this down for you poor sweet triple j

over there. this has nothing to do with the bulldogs. congratulations. apparently he loved the dog more than her, so this is what happens when a scorned woman gets into politics, and you let the dog sit on the couch with you, and when you broke up, all you cared about was "i get the dog." and apparently he did. so she's going out for a way to make sure that you are the dog can never have fun again, because she's bitter and mean, and that's what happens, unfortunately! this is just straight up classic bitter bitch syndrome. [applause] they won't get you, so they try to take your dog away! pretty soon it'll be your xbox, then the company or truck, and that's where i draw the line. [laughter] >> kat: wow. >> jeff: i've driven with my xbox on my lap plenty of times. they were mad.

>> jeanine: they should be more worried about alligators, really. if you see what's going on there now. >> tyrus: if his pet was an alligator, she would ban them, too. >> jeff: you can have any animal in florida. i looked it up. literally, it's the biggest wild animal state because it's close to the everglades. there is panthers, dangerous spiders, lizards. but dogs are somehow being brought up. >> joey: jorts in cowboy boots. >> kat: what's that? >> joey: rednecks on meth. >> kat: rednecks on meth, coming up on fox nation! [laughter] coming up next, do you want your caucus stored in cheap cardboard? [applause] ♪ i like to move it, move it ♪ ♪ you like to... move it ♪ we're reinventing our network.

♪ ♪ ♪ fast. reliable. perfectly orchestrated. the united states postal service.

>> announcer: a story in five words. >> kat: a story in five words: "people ponder their own funerals." a lot of people want to plan their own funerals, they don't want it to be that big of a deal. judge, i don't know if you know this about me, but for my 30th birthday actually planned a funeral for myself. to be have the photo? can you see that? there i am in the casket. >> jeanine: that's terrible! >> kat: it was wonderful! >> jeanine: i don't see what's in there. >> kat: me, i'm in there!

>> jeanine: that's disgusting. >> kat: thank you! here's the thing, i wanted to experience it! so i got to do it while i was still alive! so now i feel like i'm good, and now, when i'm actually dead, you can just fling me into the sea. >> jeanine: or what they could do is put you in the garden then you could be compost. >> jeff: what about the people who just met you recently? they didn't get to be at your funeral. you should have went every few years. >> kat: should i do one at 40? >> jeanine: that leaves us out! >> kat: i don't know. there's so much money spent on it. >> joey: i buried my dad and a members only jacket from walmart, which was a lot nicer than the when he had been wearing for the last 25 years. but i put him in the most expensive casket i could find, which was made out of wood and was really nice, simply because i know how much that would piss him off. that's kind of how we went to mike worked through our [bleep]. then he went into the ground and we are good now.

>> jeanine: oh, god. [applause] >> kat: how was your family never featured on "the simple life?" that would have been great. seven in ten respondents, 70% -- i did the math to girls can do math, too. they would have to be buried in a cardboard box to save cash. what do you think about that, tyrus? >> tyrus: that's them, not me. i've already made my arrangements. just burn me up and put me in a coffee can and preferably dump me and some water that leads to the ocean. if not, it's fine, a i'm dead ad i don't give a [bleep]. my funeral costs $200. i already took care of it. i don't want to be stuck in the ground or hear nobody talking about how i was such a nice person and the salt of the earth and sweet everybody, because that's a [bleep] live. so don't waste any time. in my will, i hate all of you, i shielded it well, i better be dumped in the ocean.

#kissmyass, deuces, i'm out. [applause] >> kat: i get where you're coming from, but this is a counterpoint, i would be interested to see how many pallbearers you would need. >> tyrus: when your ashes, just went to the guy who puts it in the canon says, "in the ocean." >> joey: that's still a pretty good canned, though. that's a pot. >> tyrus: i've got folgers. >> jeff: i'm not surprised young people want to do it differently. they want to do everything differently. eventually there will be a show, like "pimp my funeral." "we knew donnie like hot dogs so we buried him in a hot dog!" it will be some new thing. we don't care. >> my grandma, the only two things you ever watched where the catholic channel and "pimp my ride." she's like, "it's so nice what he does for those people!" i went to her funeral and i had a time.

that's a think of it's a funeral. the message and the moral of the story is, throw your funeral why you're still alive, kids at home. [laughs] don't go away, because we are going to be right back. [applause] did you know, some ordinary cold medicines can raise your blood pressure? try new vicks nyquil high blood pressure for fast, powerful cold relief without ingredients that may raise your blood pressure. try vicks nyquil high blood pressure. the coughing, aching, fever, cold and flu, for people with high blood pressure, medicine. on the next episode of "tv dad"... kids are so expensive, dad. maybe try switching your car insurance to progressive. you could save hundreds. that's a great idea, tv dad. listen to your tv dad. drivers who switch and save with progressive save nearly $700 on average.

>> kat: we've got some time to stay sets. anything you want to plug? >> that's a great intro. >> kat: nailed it. >> i have a show coming out called "who the [bleep] is that?" were guests try to guess distorted images of celebrity. it's very fun and easy and it'll be in most big cities. check your local listings. i'm very excited about it. [applause] >> kat: tyrus? >> tyrus: due to popular demand and my so that it shows, i've added four more dates to my current tour. april 21st, louisiana.

april 23rd, houston, texas. may 5th, south carolina. may 6th, shall be north carolina. you can check it out and get tickets click because they're selling out fast. >> kat: all right. thank you to judge jeanine pirro, johnny joey jones, jeff dye, tyrus, and our studio audience. "fox news @ night" with trace gallagher is next. i'm kat timpf. on behalf of greg, i love you, america. [cheers and applause] >> trace: thank you, and could even come everyone. welcome to america's late news, "fox news @ night." i'm trace gallagher in washington. breaking tonight, and just hours, alex murdaugh will go back on the stand for more cross-examination in his double murder trial. murdaugh spent most of today testifying in his own defense and it appears his strategy is to say he's guilty of everything except killing his wife and son. kevin corke is live with some of the key details that came out in court today. good evening. >> quite a harrowing day once again in court.