tv Gutfeld FOX News February 24, 2023 8:00pm-9:00pm PST
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spacey's lab. guy benson is here. [ applause ] >> he's been behind more bars than a felon. hosted bar rescue, john tapper. [ applause ] >> he's so sage that it is hard to disengage. walter curnow is in the house. >> and fox news contributor kat timpf. [ applause ] >> before we get to friday, it is time for this. "greg's left over. it is my first time reading these. who thought it was a good idea to
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let a community college guy reads on national television. buckle up, kids, here we go. a white activist was accused of cultural appropriation after pretending to be arab, south asian, and latin. if found guilty, she will be sent to the massachusetts senate. [ applause ] >> good job, team. tiger woods was in hot water this week for giving justin thomas a tampon. it is entirely possible because leah thomas still has her golf balls. good night, everybody! jeffery epstein's e-mail to a banking executive using disney's
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princesses. epstein previously used musical notes but he never showed anything other than a-minor. wow. [ applause ] >> that's funny. by the way, everyone hates jeffery epstein, but the clintons always say he was a great hank. [ laughter ] >> i am not messing around, fofolks. washington state university is threatening to withhold a student diploma because she owes a one-cent balance. if you go to liberal college these days, you have to have no sense. during a press briefing, karine jean-pierre mistakeningly
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called president biden, president obama. don lemon says this is what happens when you hire a woman past their prime. karine is 48, which is the same iq as kamala harris. lemon was off the air for three shows but we wound up being seen by the same amount of people if he remained on the air. [ applause ] >> during his speech in poland, president biden says u.s. support for ukraine will not waiver. when asked if he believe biden, zelenskyy says oh, i didn't until i saw him tried to get back on the plane. [ laughter ] >> but, military expert says russia should still be careful because joe can do half as much damage to russia as he's done to america, russia is toast. california is expected to
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get hit with their first snowfall. gavin newsom is inviting californians to go poop indoors. [ laughter ] >> the guy have to worry about jimmy kimmel because even if it is warm out, his experience is still experiencing shrinkage, you know? [ laughter ] >> a rare tornado hit new jersey this week. local officials are calling it jersey's biggest disaster since 2009. [ laughter ] good job. >> that's funny. that's funny. by the way, the reason comedians also insult the cast of the jersey shore, we don't want to ininsult the citizens of jury getting poorly spelled hate mails. i am kidding, anyone from
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jersey here? [ cheers ] >> oh my god, i will speak slower, i had no idea. cocaine bear opening up in theaters this week. the coke attacker was just a guy in a bear suit. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> all right, let's do the damn show. can she be the replacement for the man who campaigned in his basement? marianne williamson is entering the president primary. on thursday, she does not want to do it with an outlet of limited exposure like cnn. he she would not be running for president as she
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feels her greatest hope at this time. how great is this, by the way? biden's greatest hope at this time is an martian invasion. marianne ran for the white house in 2020 on a platform of creating a department of peace. and part of her platform, free flying brooms for everyone. maybe this time those ideas will stick but only if her dream catcher is turned on. it was one year ago when she and yours truly got into a bit of a conversation right on this very show, hit it, girl! >> let's start with stacey abrams. this had nothing to do with the photo opt, it is the politics of distraction. let's talk about the mistakes she did a photo opt so people will not listen to the important things she's trying to say to the people of georgia. >> can i jump in here though? what she's demonstrating is very
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different and masking children is an abuse. >> i will give you that. >> i will give you that. >> oh no, you didn't, marianne. [ laughter ] >> dude, she could not take on a cavi. i had people successfully argued the route to laguardia. [ applause ] >> but then again how hard can it be to run against a president who can't walk? my advice, marianne, keep the jasmine incense burning and not just for good luck, joe just made an executive order in his pants. [ applause ] >> cam timpf, we both spent some time with marianne on the show, we both thought she was nuts.
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don't you feel like we should have somebody younger like moses. >> when she was on, her voice. she's a comforting president, i would pay a hefty monthly fee when any time i am freaking out to have her saying, you are okay. she could do better in some way. she would go to east palestine. it would probably be because she thought that bringing crystal there would solve it. she would go and the department of peace is not the worse idea because i mean -- our department of defense, i think we should go back to it being it instead of department is oh, war is making me money. >> oh, thank you. [ applause ] >> thank you. i am with her. >> benson, i want to ask you a strategic question. she's launching her campaign at 2:00 p.m. on a saturday. is there a more less relevant time slot other than 8:00 p.m. on
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cnn? is there a less relevant time slot? >> she made the announcement to northwestern university students newspaper which is my alma mater. go! that's an excellent point, and a strange one. and watching the clip of that, what's her accent? it is totally bizarre and yet, listening to her for just about 15 seconds made me this close to joining whatever cult she's in. where do i sign and it is actually some what disturbing. >> here is, take the money. john, i will ask you this. i always said joe biden would make a great walmart greeter if he didn't mind being at target. [ laughter ] >> i had a question. i am sorry, i am so good at this. take a listen. would you hire joe biden at the age he's at to run one of your bars? >> no, i would not. making me to
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walk to one of my bars, certainly not to run one of them. he's stiff and he's going to get angry all the time. somebody is going to say, you want a drink and he's going to be like -- you don't need a drink. >> the worse part is you give the money to a jute box and he sends it to ukraine. >> where are my songs sns >> joe biden actually is the angry old guy at the bar making rp up stories about his life. >> yeah, he is. >> that's his story. >> i am not sure if i would sit a young girl next to him. >> except he would be like, you had enough sir -- i have not had anything. >> marianne williams getting into the race, does this change your calculus as a guy openly supportive of kanye and everything he says. >> well, i don't know how to decipher that.
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>> i think you should challenge him to a debate in a lotus position. [ laughter ] >> he'll be able to win without speaking a word. he'll never get into a lotus position, if he does, he'll never get out of it. [ laughter ] >> but, i take her candidacy seriously because if she splits the yoga vote, there is really no way for biden to win. everybody is talking about how charming and seductive her voice is. i find it horrible degrading and annoying myself. it depends on who she's channelling. >> i think she makes him look ten years older than he is which is a huge accomplishment. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i am sorry i asked you a weird question, i am trying to bridge a 300 point iq gap between you and me right now.
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>> i will help us because i feel stupid sit next to kat, you know? >> guy, let me ask you this, though. we do bag on biden. let's also give him credit for the powerful words he inspired the country with. who could forget the end of the state of the union. when he says it is time to change the unit when -- >> it really makes you think. it really makes you think. here is a question on a serious note about joe biden as we are all like our job -- or my job is a political analyst, is it going to run or is it guaranteed? >> is that man seriously going to be our president for six more years? >> no. >> is that a realistic thing? >> that's the question he and his family has to figure out first. >> speaking as an american, 2024 is hunter's blood alcohol content right now. >> before we go, greg will be on
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breast-feeding the baby? hopefully, it is her. [ applause ] >> fantastic. >> pete took over responsibility for apologizing each and every town person and vow this to never happen again. >> how long can you blame the trump administration for all your failures. >> let me say this, i will take responsibility for how i do my job and it is time for the trump administration alumni to take responsibility for their deregulation and joining us. >> why don't you just reverse course? >> good question. [ applause ] >> by the way, good question, mr. reporter. the guy is transportation secretary. from one train wreck to the neck. joy
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bajar, she proved how dumb she's on the view when she pointed out people in palestine voted for trump. >> he played a deep tie to the chemical industry, that's who you voted for in that district. donald trump reduces oil safety. >> oh, you can hear the audience gasp. god, "the view" is so bad, i rather watch jerry nadler do naked jumping jacks. [ applause ] >> the joke is on me because you know he does not do exercise. >> guy benson, the story really bothers me. over on "the view," they have other conservatives, there is no actual values or premium put on their lives. they
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actually acknowledge this is a problem no matter who you voted for. if there is chemical in the water, there is a democratic card that gets you out of the elbow cancer in five years. >> it takes a lot to scandalize the audience at the view by attacking conservatives too ward. if you are like me making a kamala harris joke here and this crowd being -- oh my god. i will say the one little sliver of levelty out of this horrible situation. the biden administration allowed donald trump to actually get their first. it is amazing malpractice on their part and trump shows up and handing out his own branded water and he buys them mcdonald's for all the first responders which is a good look and the exchange at the counter where he tells the mcdonald's employee that he knows the menu
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better than the employees which is hilarious. i absolutely believe that's right. [ applause ] >> kat, you and i don't know anything about trains although we both pass out on subways a lot. obviously, we are appointing unqualified people, we are overlooking obvious tale, his name was pothole pete. who thought it was an idea to put pothole pete in charge of the road? that's making secretary education summer education sal. everyone folks on the left are going to move past identity politics because of how harmful it is? >> i would take it a lot further and say that he's doing a great job in the sense he's proving why we don't need a transportation secretary.
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[ applause ] >> because i mean we didn't have one until 1966, and oh, what would happen if something really bad happens. something awful did happen and he's done nothing. let's not pay someone to do this when they're not doing anything. oh, i don't fall for this narrative that there is deregulation because there is a llot of involvement. i think corruption are what caused these sorts of things to happen. >> thank you. [ applause ] p >> quickly of what joy sal of us here especially, you know, us and guy and you are engaged as the media. you guys are fan of the show, your average civilian does not necessary lino what joy said. i was talking to
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my husband, he was like no, she didn't. did she really say that, you know, their fault? he was like pulling out his phone to google this. this is unbelievable. >> it is horrifying. >> she's on-air and how long she is suspended for? she's not. it is hard to grasp and things have gone so insane and you would think it is remotely okay to say. >> it was honestly disgusting. what does it say about the job of pete buttigieg doing that joe biden felt safer taking a train into a ukrainian war zone this week? [ laughter ] >> well, you know he's doing no job at all. here is the thing about pete buttigieg. if i didn't know he was gay, if they didn't tell me he was gay, i would think he's a mormon missionary. [ laughter ] >> that's what i say about guy. [ laughter ]
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>> there are times when pete buttigieg when he seems like a 16-year-old explorer scout from toledo. you would think he knows a lot about trains. he's got all of the short haircut and boring simple looks of the straight young teenager and none of the knowledge of trains. [ laughter ] >> that's really funny. all riright. john, what is joy beh hate more, republicans or the treadmill? >> when her picture was up, i can't help picture her with brown glasses, she looks just llike don lemon. >> oh man. >> it is tough to watch. if anybody wants to take us to "the view," i can get them there, 25 to get in and 100 to get out. [ laughter ] >> just telling jokes.
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>> up in the case, the oscar's new goal, keep the crazies under concon concon control. [ applause ] so it's decided, we'll park even deeper into parking spaces so people think they're open. surprise. [ laughs ] [ horn honks, muffled talking ] -can't hear you, jerry. -sorry. uh, yeah, can we get a system where when someone's bike is in the shop, then we could borrow someone else's? -no! -no! or you can get a quote with america's number-one motorcycle insurer and maybe save some money while you're at it. all in favor of that. [ horn honking ] there's a lot of buttons and knobs in here.
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headache and sore throat may occur. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. get back to better breathing. and get back to your life. ask your doctor about fasenra. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. the academy awards will have a crisis team on standby to respond to any emergency that may arise. by emergency, they mean physical assaults or god forbid misgendering. [ applause ] >> oh, you guys. but, in truth, they are there to deal with unexpected things like viewers. stick with me. jimmy got jokes. the plan would have raised a few eye brows if they are not botox into completely paralysis. a reaction to last year's slap
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session performed by will smith a aand his duet partner, chris rock. prover that if everybody hates chris, it starts with jada pinkett smith. [ applause ] >> this year it is easier to keep her name out of your mouth because the woman barely works in hollywood. will is going to beat me up for that. bring it on. at the time the academy's president admitted the response to the incident could have been quicker. dude, if it took any longer, band would start playing. >> the oscar's respond was to sit on their hand which made the first time in that room men grabbing their own -- [ applause ] >> will went onto win the best actor oscar and receiving a standing ovation, leaving chris
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to ponder his worst beating since reviewed for grown ups, too. it was more than a week later when the academy announced repercussion. will said he's sorry more than once. but, we are not even until i have had sex with his wife like everybody else. [ laughter ] >> this guy got by his one game hello host and think he can bang jada pinkett smith. nothing gets past them except for 20 years of ha harvey weinstein. there is something you can't anticipate, like a slap or mechanical
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failure or the sheer gurth like guy benson's sweaters collection. [ applause ] >> some people got excited that you had like the only fan going. [ laughter ] >> i know -- no, you would not. i would have, look at the size of me, i have only fools. don't you think on some levels that people hate celebrities so much. they should lean in and allow one presenter a year to get smacked now. greg was surprised the first time. [ laughter ] >> i am going to call bs on this story. they want us all to know and they want us talking about their crisis committee that they have at the oscar in case another crisis may arrive. the slap was not a crisis. they are so desperate for rates
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that they want us the think oh, anything can happen at the oscars. nothing is going to happen. they're going to congratulate each other and have long speeches congratulating one another and it will be over like after four hours. this is a ploy trying to capture because ratings went way up after the slap. they want us to think it could happen again which is why they are doing this. >> i saw a 1000% preacher, i agree. >> should we applauding will smith for getting liberals to pay attention on black on black crcr crime? [ laughter ] >> i lough love how jimmy is setting grenade in our laps with these questions. >> what we do, man? >> come on. [ laughter ] >> well, this was actually how i found out that is these were happening because i thought they already did but oh, that was the grammys. look, i think that maybe it was not a crisis but a
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symptom of a crisis and i wrote about this, a chapter about it in my book. "you can't joke about that." [ applause ] >> if you actually believe that, words are violence, violence is an appropriate response to words. that's wrong and i don't understand how it is ever been presented to some sort of progressive view to believe that because most of our pasts, we did that. you said something bad about my sister and now we are going to have a shootout. if that's how you think, you are not a progressive. >> so it is a symptom of something awful that i hope we can turn it around and realize how stupid it was. >> i never thought this slap was real. when i look at the
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picture, it was perfectly framed of a slap that's ever photographed by human hands. whe whewhen the exorcist opened this is the equivalent of that like you said. this is an attempt to make the world's most boring telecast susspenceful. i agree with you, the slap looks fake. >> it reminds you of those times. we are trashing the oscars. if there is one thing i wish we could adapt from them. how awesome if you could play people off when they were talking for too long. >> you get stuck in the conversation you don't want to be in and out of nowhere, you
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can raise the volume on an orchestra and they forced to walk away. i think it would be amazing. >> that's like the app, you program the phone and call you in two minutes. guy benson, the academy is acknowledging what you frame as a desperation for ratings by nominating "top gun," do you think this is their admission that things are bad and reaching out to the broader audience. it is like a transgender squid is nominated for best picture. >> good film. [ laughter ] >> "top gun" was just fun and bad-ass and awesome and super successful. they were like -- i think a culture victory for conservatives. just for america generally that hollywood felt compel to nominate that movie for best picture. good for them. i won't be watching but go get
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them, tiger. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> in "bar rescue," if i know two people hate each other, i am going to put them behind bars together. i want to see if they can stimulate the next slap. >> i think that's amazing. >> you are proposing a chris rock and hill smith co-host. >> i think so. >> very small podium, keep them close together. >> why do you think they put jimmy and i on the same set together? >> things are going down on the d-block. >> when he means d-block, he means the d. >> full circle. >> coming up, their noisy desire made neighbors want to open fire. [ applause ]
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their love isever lasting made neighbors for blasting. >> two neighbors arrested for having loud sex. this story had florida written all over it. 25-year-old alexis davis and treasure bibs are pictured here. if you can't trust the woman with a throw tattoo, who could you trust? yeah, treasure bibs, that sounds like a company that makes street wide swag for babies. [ laughter ] >> anyway, they allegedly threaten to shoot the couple's kid which the kid screams, "no, stop it, we are on your side." >> i know the children in your family all wear treasure bibs so i won't start with the obvious.
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>> this is crazy. >> this is crazy. i used to to -- >> i would take a little of his when i mow. >> that had to be rough and ilhan omar and wald take his side. >> what do you aadequate this to? >> if you are having sex and how good could it be if you stopped to answer the door? >> well, were they armed? >> we were asked to give our worse neighbor's story. i am reliving a terrible year in my life. when i lived in las vegas, across the hall from a man who was addicted to rachel madow. >> you found the guy.
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>> and this is is near the height of the so-called russia gate. this guy would start listening to rachel madow early in the morning. he taped her and watch the night before and he rewatched the tape through the day and smoked dope. the hallway would fill with the hallway with marijuana. >> but, no, he started playing the best of rachel madow. by the end of the year, he had such an archive of her shows that i didn't know what day it was. it didn't matter because in those days the rachel madow broadcast ne nenever changed. everyday it about trump. if you played it six months ago, the next day, it didn't matter. final, it stops
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and that's the worse thing about terrible neighbors and you hate them and suddenly, you are pretty sure they are dead. [ laughter ] >> now is there any level that you are living across from this guy and you are now sitting across his husband? >> you said i was going down. i took the first shot. [ laughter ] >> don't you dare. i love you guys, benson. >> could have done better. >> do you have anything like this? >> no, not quite like that. >> i was on the same prompt, i was the weird neighbor recently for this reason. our hot water heater went out. we kept on getting it fixed and so it was a week of no hot water, blessed their heart and
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our neighbors are great. i would call each day begging to go shower at their home. i went house to house and each morning i felt like i was doing a different walk of shame. the one neighbor that we don't like watching us be like, what kind of weird sex call are they involved in this neighborhood? i am like talk to marianne williamson, man, she was like a tight shift. [ laughter ] >> katherine timpf, are you the weird neighbor? >> i think i told my weird neighbor about this show. >> what? >> i guess i didn't. >> my ex-boyfriend and i lived next door to a meth dealer. he was out of town and i forgot my keys and there was no way to get into the house. he's like oh, i got you. he brought out a tool box and broke into our home. and, my boyfriend was so mad,
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babe, you just showed him that he could break into our home. no, he knew he could. [ laughter ] >> quick advice if you are dealing with neighbors having loud sex. what you do, all you do is you take your phone and connected to your speaker and start blasting "we are the champions," try [ bleep ] through that. [ laughter ] >> up next, mail your clothes and save a buck. your best defense against erosion and cavities is strong enamel- nothing beats it. new pronamel active shield actively shields the enamel to defend against erosion and cavities. i think that this product is a gamechanger for my patients-
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a story in five words. here is the story, a lot of tiktokers started shipping their luggage to the post office. >> i think this is not about avoiding baggage fee at the airline, this is about avoiding sam brinton. >> i applaud the tiktokers. >> is that true? is that why zelenskyy walks around in a sweatshirt because someone in
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the biden administration stole his luggage? that's funny as hell. >> i would ask you this. you fly quite a bit. when you board a plane these days, is there a basic general anxiety with every part of the experience that it may make sense to go through the post office? >> i think so. >> i think that you can know that your bag is there before you get there or when you get there, knowing it is not there. >> he's talking to you, america. >> should anyone take any advice from anyone on tiktok? >> no, they should take it from me, i wrote a novel and i made it into a movie. [ applause ] >> about living in the airline world. if you show up without baggage for a flight, they would assume you are a terrorist who
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does not plan on living. [ laughter ] >> so one of the reasons i carry a bag at all because i do like to travel light. so that i won't be mistaken for someone who has nothing to lose. [ laughter ] >> these tiktokers are facing real interference from homeland security if they show up with barehands. oh, i mail my luggage. >> is it true to the sequel that the house got shot down by the biden administration? >> in the sequel to "up in the air," they're traveling spirit airlines. they're sitting at the bar at the airport until it closes and go home and give up on the trip. [ applause ] >> let's talk about what i think is obvious. this is a work
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around so you can ship your drugs so you don't get stop by the tsa. >> you can find drugs in the mail, too. i lost so much not wanting to go to the post office to return something. the post office is a miserable place. can i go to my own funeral instead? [ laughter ] >> is that why hunter didn't pick up his laptop? some red meat for the road. don't go away, we'll be right back. [ applause ] wealth plan, a new tool in the chase mobile® app. use it to set and track your goals, big and small... and see how changes you make today... could help put them within reach. from your first big move to retiring poolside and the other goals along the way wealth plan can help get you there. j.p. morgan wealth management.
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chevy silverado factory-lifted trucks. where will they take you? ♪ ♪ (dog barks) ♪ silverado zr2, trail boss, and custom trail boss. because adventure is everywhere. >> final thoughts. jon, you have a new season of "bar rescue" coming out. >> it's going to be the toughest ever. pandemic is over, no excuses. it's time to step up and i make sure they do. [applause] >> when you're done with that, i want you to start something
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called "transportation secretary rescue." do that next. [applause] thanks to guy benson, walter kern, john taff, kat timpf, and our studio audience! "fox news @ night" with dreamy trace gallagher is next. on behalf of greg gutfeld, the king of late night, i'm jimmy failla, and i love you, america. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> trace: thank you, jimmy. good evening, everyone, and welcome to america's late news, "fox news @ night." i'm trace gallagher in washington. baking tonight, a courtroom battle for the ages. a tough prosecutor going head-to-head with a skilled defendant. murder suspect alec murdaugh on stand for a second day admitting that he's a liar. a crook, and a drug addict, but denying that he's a killer. jeff paul's life tonight with the murder trial that is riveting the country. good evening. >> trace, this trial is entering its fifth week, topped off by arguably some of the most compelling testimony
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