said and done, kevin, there will be tens of billions of dollars that was stolen from the u.s. treasury. unbelievable. great report. thank you so much. that's it for us tonight. remember, it's america now and forever. go to instagram. you can see my photos from spring training and all the other stuff from the recovery effort. greg gutfeld and all the gang, take it from here. ♪ that's right. oh, yeah. happy tuesday, everybody. i hope you missed me because i missed you. it was a long four-day weekend. i mean long. any way, if there's anybody that knows anything about raising children, you know, it's joe biden.

look at that. now there's someone who need a puberty blocker in his 50s. what you're about to see is the president talking about kids on a program called "the daily show." it's kind of a lot like this show which we do every day but the difference is we have viewers. the topic, you're going to love it. transgender kids. >> transgender kids the really harder thing. what's going on in florida is, as my mother would say, is close to sinful. it's terrible what they're doing. what are they thinking about here? they're human beings. they love. they have feelings. they have inclinations. to me, it's, i don't know, it's cruel. >> why does he always sound like he's mixing nyquil with xanax.

not that i would know. either that or rolled off a bass net with a child. any president in history that belong ons the comedy channel is this one. he went from english to gibberish in mere second. biden is referring to florida new bill that would block gender affirming care for transtrender minors. that means no cross sex hormones or surgical procedures for anyone under 18. that's terrible, right. it's close to sinful what's happening in florida because in the dim recesses of biden's mind, it's sinful to not ir revergeable mutilate a confused child unless they are in the womb. he wants to make it illegal to stand in the way of a surgeon castrating a little boy because he's convinced he's a little girl by green haired teachers with more piercings than a bait

and tackle shop. sorry, i just spit. if a guy in an old van went around your neighborhood chopping up little kids, you'd want him thrown in jail. biden appears to want to throw them a parade. kids who are too young to cross the road alone can consent to surgery. i guess for joe, it's more girls hair to sniff. he's right about one thing. those children are human beings. that's why so many americans are so horrified about what's being done to them. somehow this a winning message for the democrats in 2024? it's not waa winning message fo the vikings. it's primitive and delusional like when a monkey tries counting. okay. biden is not done. even if we let them turn billy

into milly the poor kid sdtill doomed. mother nature let her wrath be seen over the last two years. >> mother nature let her wrath be seen over the last two years, floods, droughts. people can't deny it anymore. if we don't keep the temperature from going above 1.5 degrees celsius then we're in trouble. that whole generation is dammed. >> the whole generation is dammed. that's exactly the definition of hyperbole. when he's not in power, he's ad adorable. no power, scary. i haven't seen an old man this p, biden has a solution to our energy needs. i bet he was up in massachusetts. >> for example, i was up in

massachusetts, the electric facilities, we hooked it up to wind technology. >> wind mills. nobody knows more about producing wind than joe. just ask his daners. let's just roll biden's wheelchair in front of wind mills and drop a pound of lentils in his smoothie and let it rip. you might be wondering how his mind is so razor sharp when there's so little left. >> my focus is just stay focused. >> that came from the federal department of redundancy department. otherwise known as kamala. he needs that keen mental focus because in this period he inherited best fair to say a gigantic mess. >> in this period, i inherited,

i think it's fair to say a gigantic mess economically and politically. >> i don't know what he said there. that's not counting the one he made on the rug this morning. yeah, he inherited these problems like he inherited that hairline too. he also repeated his huge lie about creating 12 million jobs when really he created just two to guard hunter's international book who like crack. should i have said hookers. you would have been okay with hookers. then there's this lie on gay marriage. i bet he can remember where his epiphany was. >> i can remember exactly where my epiphany was. i was a senior in high school. my dad was dropping me off. i remember about to get out of the car, and i looked to my right and two well-dressed men in suits kissed each other. i turned and looked at me dad, he said joe, it's simple. they love each other. >> those two men were corn pop

and baby ruth. two men in well-dressed suits. this never happened. we can safely say that never happened. that was like he saw that in a commercial last week for a bank. of course, he left out the part where he opposed gay marriage for 50 years of his career. a decade after that, he said gays in the military and government posed security risk to the country. in the '90s, he voted for the defensive marriage act. i guess he was anti-gay for pay. somebody got that. the daily show was able to score this fascinating interview because cal penn worked in the obama administration as, i need to take a deep breathe here. the associate director of the white house office of public office and intergovernmental affairs which is fancy way of saying who is this again.

kudos to comedy central for finding a host like chelsea handler. i guess al gore was unavailable. it makes sense biden was on the daily show. a fool who can't get the job done on a show that no one watches. anything to add, joe? >> no, no, look. i said it before, i'll say it again. this stuff never changes. what's in the good book? kw what's the first words of the bible? in the bing bing. in the bening. in the ganin bing. >> yes. let's welcome tonight's guest. his comedy shows are like daylight savings. you'll feel like you just lost an hour. writer, comedian joe mackey.

there's a word for women like her thanand that is armed. sarah palin. he's my spiritual twin only younger, taller, better looking. host of lawrence jones cross country on saturday night, lawrence jones. she's fiery, wiry and keeps a knife in her diary. so, joe, i'm looking at you. i'm reminded that tax season is upon us. it's good to see that you have taken on some additional work at h and r block after we do the taping. >> i've got lawrence on the show. i've got a former vice presidential candidate. i want to look good. >> all right. >> do you regret not having the surgical advancements when you

were a teen, confused, tomboy named regina? >> there are some problems with your research department on that. i was extremely tough and cool, young, budding man in my teens. i have grown into the adonis you see before you tonight. i'll tell you what, greg, i don't know if i could listen to biden kind of tell us about his story about being a high school senior and the story about a gay couple kissing. i don't believe that he remembers being a senior in high school. i don't want to hear about climate change from a guy who owns a beach house. i don't want to hear about creating 12 million jobs when he leaves out the part that he supported the lockdowns that eliminated those 12 million jobs. the only jobs he's created are 87,000 for the irs. he always seems to leave out the

exculpatory evidence. he's all for criminal justice reform to get rid of the crime bill that he sponsored. >> yeah. >> i like this new joe in a suit thing. exculpatory. >> i'm going to start making eye contact with people. >> baby steps, joe. baby steps. you don't want to creep people out. >> too late for that. >> you know, governor, there are two elements to this. one is the hypocrisy with gay marriage and the other thing is dwr don't you find it weird how quickly the trans issue just showed up. i'm still trying to figure out how is this done. how is it on joe biden's desk? there's no science that he can quote. this is a political, kind of a political title wave done for a very small minority of americans expecting everybody else, a

compulsary obedience. >> people get mad at me talking about this being a fad. it's a hip thing for the liberals to jump on this band wagon. there's no science. i'm sure poll testing that shows the majority of americans are into this and want this to shove down our throats. they don't. a small percentage of the population that is em m meshed the whole thing of it. >> it's like live and let live. we're talking about kids. if kids can't make up their minds over a tattoo or anything, to go to a movie. that's an old reference. to go do a pg movie. >> i think that the libertarian

streak in so many of us has made manifest with an issue like this. we don't want -- it is live and let live for it. they are the ones trying to shove it down our throats. >> don't use this privacy excuse like the kids shouldn't tell you. lawrence, how you doing? >> i'm good. >> nice. thank you. they are velcro because i'm lazy. i'm a very lazy person. this is the sign of laziness when you have given up tieing shoes. >> that's rich. that's what it is. i don't have to tie my shoes. >> you have somebody else do that for you. what did you make of his appearance on the daily show? i think ten times as many people saw that here than on the show. >> it doesn't surprise me. i don't know. i find the president to be very weird. >> yeah. >> i don't really think he has a political compass because he's so old at this point that he's

not alert. he reads the script. we used to shun the people that put notes on their hands. now the president can have a teleprompter. we have actual issues with our kids with drugs and all this other stuff, and they want to make this the central focus. i don't think we're in the minority on this. any time there's an issue, i always say go to the group. if there's issue in black america, go do to black people. go do the gay community. they don't support. you'll never hear them say this. they will shun us, kick us out of the club. we're changing pronouns. it's not even grammatically correct. the fact that, the thing that the lgbtq community has been avoiding for a while is to say they prey on kids. now you have a whole group of people within the community that are preying on kids. they are very disgusted by

there. you won't hear them say it because they don't want to be shunned. >> you can't trust anybody who doesn't know the science of grammar with the actual physical science. >> right. >> you're screwing up the language. stay away from my kids. happy trans tuesday, kat. >> every tuesday the monologue is about trans stuff. i don't know if you noticed that but i have. >> you have. you think i have a cycle. >> what do you do on monday night? >> that's a great question. you know what, i don't remember. i have friends in town. let's just leave it at that. >> i'll let you live your life. >> live and let live. i coined that motto. >> yeah. >> you want to close out the segment with something thoughtful. >> sure. i would. i think that mr. mackey over here, which i feel like i need to call you now, you had a great point of all the things he's

been hypocritical of. we talk a lot about unflappable strength in a leader. joe biden is maybe the first president to have unflappable weakness. he says this stuff that everybody knows is not true. him in high school and him support like voicing support for gay marriage is several decades longer than i've been alive. nobody asks him when this stuff comes up, no matter what the issue is because they are thinking i got a full sentence out of him. therefore, it went far better than i expected. i should consider myself lucky and call it a day. nobody presses him on stuff because there's this assumption he can't handle it. it's unflappable weakness. >> unflappable weakness should be title of his memoir. that's a terrible thing to say.

i'm not going to retract it. i feel like i'm your more successful uncle. your older, successful brother biff. >> i was thinking unflappable weakness is what i would call my muffin top. >> just the idea you used the phrase muffin top is making me vom it. up next, negative vibes from the princess of tribes. i don't feel seen. hey mom. look! mom! oh my god mom. you gotta look at this. nope. keeping my eyes on the road is paying off with drivewise. post about that. bo-ring. oh! say cheese! no, thank you. unblock me! stop! [screech] that was awesome! hey what's your @? i'll tag you. get drivewise from allstate and save 40% for avoiding mayhem like me.

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the white lady in the tepee won't endorse the vp. the liz warren on the warpath. kamala harris and senator warren not on speaking terms because harris doesn't want to answer to the native american name liz gave her which was laughs for no

reason. also because back in january warren said this when asked if biden should keep harris as his running mate. >> i really want to what makes biden comfortable on his team. i've known kamala for a long time. i like kamala, but they need, they have to be team and my sense is they are. i don't mean i suggest there are any problems. i think they are. >> talk about a smoky signal. my coffee was at lukewarm, i'd spit it in my assistance's face. i might just do it any way. warren clarified after that interview she supports a biden ticket without reservation. according to cnn, warren has called twice to apologize but harris wasn't returned her calls and the whole thing is demonstrate leaders to stop piling on harris. speaking of piling on, "the view" weighed in on all of this.

speaking of weighed, congrats on the ladies for being named as guiness book of world records heaviest afternoon program. >> playing into the handss of fox news. fox news every single day go after kamala harris. they have got to stop playing into the hands of these people who cannot stand that she is the first woman, the first woman of color vice president. >> playing into the lahands of x news. she does have a point, whoever that is. we do portray harris as inept and a bumbling fool by showing videos of her speaking as a bumbling fool. any way, i've just been told in my ear, did you see that? kamala finally called liz back and we have the tape. [ phone rings ] >> kamala, thanks for calling me back.

i'm so glad we could have this pow wow. [ laughter ] >> what are you laughing at? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. i all laugh, when i don't know what to say. [ laughter ] i remember. i'm mad because you kissed dougie. wait, that was jill, wasn't it? >> right. i'm so glad we could bury the hatchet. [ laughter ] oh, i get it. i get it. see you at the casino. >> i'm just a joyful warrior. >> i have a theory about kamala. would you like to hear it?

>> i would love to. >> she would seem like the person we would like to hang out with because she's a cheap date. she's already drunk without drinking. she's somebody that always feels like she's drunk. that's a great person to be around. >> yeah. >> no? >> yeah. it's a great person to be around long enough to get the name of their doctor. >> yes. >> i would like to have whatever she's having. i don't laugh enough. >> is this just a real feud? >> i think it's probably real. i think all of politics is probably a feud. i think everything's a real feud. i don't think that, you know, if you're the kind of person who wants to get into, you know, be the vp and kamala never really had any real positions. she's flip-flopped on all kinds of things. she tried to go from being actual law enforcement to being like a criminal justice reform lady. i think nothing could piss her

off than somebody all she wants is to be in the position and be president. i could see her. i don't think they don't have that much in common like positions and different views. if you have that sort of issue in your brain anybody that suggests you have power. >> whose team are you on? team liz or team cackler? >> i would to see history being made. she would be only the second female presidential candidate to be thumped by trump. i want to see that happen. >> do you think that will happen? the thing is, if he drops out, she could be the nominee. i don't think they will let her do it. >> i think it's going to be michelle obama. >> that is barack obama's wife, lawrence. just wanted to fill you in. >> thank you. i appreciate that. >> we didn't have that in the

packet. she was first lady maybe 10, 12 years ago. you were probably three. >> close. >> close? what do you make of this feud? it's great for us. politics is boring. this is not boring. >> i think we're focused on the feud and not how we got kamala. i think that's the real question. i understand how we got joe. joe is an empty vessel. he's like d.c.'s favorite because all the people working behind the scenes, the staffers, just tell him what to do. that makes sense why they selected him. i heard people say it was because of identify politics that they selected kamala. that doesn't make sense. she was the first person out of the race and black people were not supporting her because they remember the criminal justice. the identity politics doesn't jibe for me too. i've come with one solution. they have to be together. >> oh, yeah.

>> they have to be together. >> you mean like kamala and liz have to hook up? >> no. we know what you've been thinking about. >> they is slice it with a hatcher. the fact she said are y'all swingers. i know we built the thing but we didn't say do that. >> that's funny.

no one says we need to use the 25th amendment when it's in the back up spot. you went with jimmy because you don't want to go with jill. joe america. who looks like a host today? i get it. you know what, they always say you come, you dress for the job you want, not for the job that you have. >> i'm going to tom you right out of a job. >> didn't go well after that, did it? >> he's on radio. >> he's on radio. >> oh, my god. >> all right. up next, they've got buns of steel. jesse's ordeal.

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convincing it fooled these minds. >> i know jussie is a really good guy. >> the media has cast so much doubt on his story which i find so personally offensive. >> he's given a detail account. an account that police said is

credible. >> they should all be fired up for the new, exclusive show on fox nation. the brothers opened up about that night on fox nation when jussie said he hired two black guys to carry out the hoax. he claimed the brothers were white supremacists who poured bleach on him and tied a noose around his neck while yelling he was in maga country. why are we retelling this story? i don't know. chicago is a bed of right wing activism. here is their head of the kkk. i kid. like a wool thong in the washing machine, it quickly unravelled. as you know, smollett orchestrated it all by paying the brothers by check to be in on the whole thing.

we're going to tell the whole story. >> flying back from nigeria, we were expecting our other $500 check. >> i felt like i was just going to get back to business. head back, start doing auditions, continue working out and living my great life. >> i had a whole different filling. i felt like, the police were waiting for me. the customs agent was checking every one's passports. two police officers came up. i went with them. i was like it's over with. they got me. >> while they didn't get smollett the racist beating he claimed. they gave him acting lessons. he should do a one man show and punch himself in the face. lawrence, were you ever just, for a moment, were you like all of us that didn't want to say anything because we knew it was fake but we didn't want to be first? >> we all have jobs, okay.

we got to be easy on this. i could have said it, but you couldn't say it. look, there's two things. first of all, they're lying. the chicago police knew it was a set up the entire time. they were just waiting for him to bury himself. that's the first thing. number two, he scripted this like a movie. >> yes. >> that's why he doesn't have a job. it doesn't make sense at all. i also think this tells you about wokeness and the racial grievance politics of things is he uses as to negotiate the plan, use this as a negotiation to get more money on "empire." let me get more people to follow me, it wasn't let me find another movie to get started where i can raise my star power. let me put the country, pit it against each other and let me be the victim and then i'll get more money. that is sick. >> it is mind blowing that he's out of jail.

he could have started a race war. >> you know, that's not how you get acting work. that's the trouble with acting is that anybody can do it. look, you kcast me as a spy. here is me as a spy. i'm not a spy. >> excellent. you need an angle, greg. that's why i say i'm a victim of bullying like back in elementary school. sometimes even the girls would beat me up just because i tried to take their lunch money. >> you are such an interesting -- you would watch this as a reality show. why aren't they getting a reality tv show? >> watch some of it. my favorite part is when he started denying this is what happened. they are like we just started seeing this different side of him. that's the side he showed you. they said they felt betrayed but

in order to be betrayed, i feel like you have to trust somebody and maybe don't trust the guy that's approaching you to orchestrate multi-layered hate crime hoax. someone is like mean to every one but you, you're not special. it's just not your turn yet. >> you know, to defend him, sarah, you could say this kind of hate crime hoax was insentivized by a climate that rewards people for doing it. he saw the writing on the wall and said the pursuit of happiness now includes hoaxes. >> back to kamala, who was the first sympathetic and defending of the lies when jessie cried wolf, it was kamala harris. they so wanted to believe this was true because, yes, it was all about division. >> it also tells you what they think of the country that this could be possible. none of it made sense to gbegin with. all of us were sitting there for the moment but no one could say

anything. >> that's why you have to give credit to chicago reporters. they were getting the abuse from everybody for dogged reporting and they were right all along. they had to stick to it even though nobody else would. that was amazing. all right, coming up, scientists blame the warm breeze on moose eating trees. unlimited. earning on my favorite soup. aaaaaah. got it. earning on that éclair. don't touch it, don't touch it yet. let me get the big one. nope. - this one? - nope. - this one? - yes. - no. - what? - the big one. - they're all the same size. wait! lemme get 'em all. i'm gonna get 'em all! earn big with chase freedom unlimited. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours. i have moderate to severe crohn's disease. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are looking up ♪ ♪ i've got symptom relief ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪

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it's nice to see someone get the blame besides trump. i don't understand what that means, but awording to norweigan technology a grown moose can eat 50 kilograms a day. let's go to a moose for comment. >> you are so handsome. yeah. >> go. go. >> that is so moose ophobic. do you have alleys in alaska? >> okay. if that's a problem, i'm one pot of moose stew at a time. i'm trying to take care of the problem. >> have you shot moose before? >> that is what we eat. >> you eat a lot of moose.

>> yeah. >> what's the plural? mo mooses. what's singular, a moo. i'm an idiot. i've never even been to alaska. i'm waiting for the invite. >> you're missing out. one pot of moose stew at the time will take care of the problem. >> what do you make of this startling discovery? >> i think it would be weird, okay. i thought about this a lot. >> good. >> how many environmentalists are also vegan? if you're vegan environmentalist, what do you do? you need to kill some of the moose, you can't or you can still be vegan as long as you don't eat them. can you be a vega fn who suppor the death penalty or not. i kept thinking and it was time to go. i don't know. >> it's trans tuesday, how much

trans surgery contributed to c climate change. think about that. don't get back to me until tuesday. >> we'll do that next tuesday. >> i'm sure we are. you probably have some good jokey bits about the wildlife crisis. >> moose have been around for two million years. that made me think, did cave men have climate alarmists and what would that be like. they'd be like, joe, cover up that loin cloth. it's too sexy. you're heating up the atmosphere. >> that is probably realistic conversation, joe. >> probably. i was probably that guy got hit in the head up on the mountain and left to die. >> all right. what do you make of this? isn't this why people stop taking climate change pontiff indication seriously because it got more and more absurd. >> i'm wondering why they were petting the moose. why do we die first in movies and y'all do stuff like that?

have you ever laeheard of black person attacked by a sharp. we don't do that. i just understand. why mess with the moose? what did the moose do to you? >> it's funny. what's the word, anthro -- >> that's it. >> thank you. we believe that animals possess the same kind of feelings that we do until they bite our head off. >> until they knock you out. >> you ever see the movie grizzly man. >> uh-uh. >> we'll see it tonight at my place. 8:00. wear that thing i like. i don't know what i'm saying. mainly because we got another block here. up next, he claims he was stricken when they misnamed his chicken.

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five words, guy sues over bone less wings. he filed a lawsuit for the use of bone lest less wings. does he have a case? >> any man that eats bone less wings, there's a difference. chick-fil-a nuggets, wing stop. there's levels to this. he felt comfortable doing that. he's a beta man. >> i like boneless wings and i see myself as an alpha male. >> beta male. or just girl. >> but with a lot of testosterone. >> that's the weirdest reason i was ever just called a beta male. i'll say that, you don't eat boneless wings because you think it's genuine wing meat. you eat it because you don't have to chew as much and you can

get an extra dozen in before your stomach tells your brain you're turning into gut ffeld bryan stelter. >> why don't they have an eating contest of wings? imagine how it increases the risk for choking. it's a real sport. you're watching them -- you're watching me eat hot dogs. that's easy because nothing is getting hooked in your gut. >> who wants liability? >> there's risk involved. okay, how about this? one of every hot dog has a bone in it. that's a difference. >> you're why we have risk management. you're the guy. >> risk makes the word go around. you come from the riskiest state on earth. people doing snow sledding stuff. >> snow sledding. no, news flash to the guy who is suing buffalo wings over misidentifying or whatever.

does he realize it's not buffalo. if he's going to sue for false advertising. >> that's a great point. he missed the obvious thing that it's literally not a buffalo. that used to confuse me as a kid. you remember the seinfeld thing about the flea market how george thought it was a flea. i wouldn't get anything. >> what's seinfeld? >> that's division. >> that's terrible of him. i didn't watch the cosby show because he was a pervert. he was a pervert. h hero or villain. >> bill cosby? >> that would be great. yes. then you'd have to answer it and then it would be clipped. just say villain. >> people are doing there all the time now. >> yeah. >> they're suing.

suing. not the drugging and raping, i hope. >> a lot of suing. >> they just walk around looking for people to sue. >> that would be fun. i'm too lazy. >> i don't have the time. >> good for you. >> is it. >> i don't know. show's almost over. don't go away. we'll be right back. they customize your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. with the money we saved, we thought we'd try electric unicycles. whoa! careful, babe! saving was definitely easier. hey babe, i think i got it! it's actually... whooooa! ok, show-off! help! oh! only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪

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♪marching band music♪ i'll get a cart. get two! scotts daylawn saving is the biggest deal of the year. stock up early and save up to $20 dollars on the best scotts products. we are out of time. >> good evening and welcome to america's late news fox news @ night. i'm trace gallagher in los angeles at. >> breaking tonight the russian threat against the us has it just gone up a notch of the pentagon says the russian fighter jets have not taken dow a multimillion dollar american drone over the black sea. it us authorities when the russian ambassador to come to washington asap. back in his life with breaking information on what us official tonight are calling a brazen an reckless act. good evening the department of defense is condemning the russian fighter jets