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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  March 15, 2023 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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when it comes to aviation safety. >> shortly after filming this, pete was spotted playing with trucks and little tiny airplanes in a sand box in georgetown. it's america now and forever. greg gutfeld and the gang take it from here. see you later. let's do it. okay. my head is going to explode. that's right. happy wednesday, everybody. you look fantastic, as do i. let's talk about stanford. some call it a college. it appears to be a little more than a day care center.
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it kicked off when the fifth circuit judge kyle duncan was invited by the stanford law school federalist society to give a speech. when he started, this happened. >> you've invited me to speak here. i've been heckled nonstop. i'm asking for -- >> your racism is showing. >> respect black women. >> keep in mind, these aren't kindergarteners with poopy pants. these are stanford law students with poopy pants. their dean is worse. a giant sack of poopy pants. >> i'm uncomfortable because this event is tearing the fabric of this community that i care about and support. i have to ask myself, is the
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juice worth the squeeze. it's uncomfortable to say this to you as a person. it's uncomfortable to say that for many people here, your work has caused harm. >> oh, shut up. sorry. thank you. i'll take it. she's the victim or at least playing one because that's her job. she's stanford's associate dean for diversity, equity and inclusion. although it should be diversity, inclusion and equity because that would be d.i.e. which is what she wants all successful people to do, die. it's all about equity. the idea that no matter how hard you work and how talented you are, you won't and should not get ahead of anyone else. the left is always changing words because we used to call that communism. to stanford's credit the
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president and law school dean apologized to the judge for what the judge called deeply uncivil behavior by bullies. guess what happened next. the same students who harassed the judge are harassing the administrators. they are protesting apologies now. lucky for me, i never say i'm sorry. i do though. when stanford dean jenny martinez left the classroom after a lecture, she found hundreds of students lining the hallway dressed all in black and wearing masks that said, counter speech is free speech. what is counter speech? it's the heckling that drowns out free speech. their concept of free speech is that no opposing side ever gets to talk. i thought you had to be married for that. it's like i always say, if somebody called you a bully, just intimidate it till they shut up. any way.
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as for steinbeck, she's likely too dumb for anything else but she still got that job, so she's safe. that's the hilarity of the woke industrial complex. doesn't teach you anything but how to complain about people who are trying to succeed. no one wants that person in the workplace. you need to find a job just like steinbeck to survivor. while students fail in real life, the dean of out rage still makes a pretty penny. elsewhere in california, antifa rioted at uc davis. >> back the [ bleep ] up. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> whoa, whoa. whoa. >> that's a lot of whoas. of course, the faculty stood with the anti-speech. here is the uc davis chancellor.
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>> uc davis stands with our transgender and nonbinary aggies. >> how is this? you're a douche. he's also scared. he's scared of losing his job so he has to parent the mob. once again we see the contradictions, right? leftist believe speech that makes them uncomfortable is violence. that the literal violence that they unleash in response, that's free speech. why do these students go to college any way? why go there in first place? you'd think they want to succeed in life. no one achieves success as a victim. that failure just makes them angrier which feeds into their victimhood. it's a loop of defeat. it's like they want to turn out like bryan kilmead and he's not even here.
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rest in peace. i'm kidding, he's alive. don't die during this show. we're seeing this prescription for failure throughout society. this d.i.e. bs creates the appearance of progress without paying attention to customer needs. they'll say look at our wokeness score. never mind this is a bank and we're collapsing. that becomes an incentive for weak minds. you could display your wokeness without having to work. if a recruiter has to choose between a comptent white dudes and the pool that's been drained, she's going to hire the diversity leftovers to meet their quota. companies decline and they manage to hold onto their job just like that dean of equity. it's everywhere now, even
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finance. silicon bank probably didn't collapse because of wokism. how does any of this stuff make anybody more trustworthy. if you opened an account at bank, they gave you a free toaster. now it's a lecture on pronouns. >> the most common pronouns that folks are familiar with are she and he. you probably have clients that use they/them. they are gender neutral on purpose. we talked about folks that are nonbinary that don't identify as male or female. some use they/them as pronouns. z is another gender and another would be hir. >> that was suggest bank in a lot of trouble. the bad news, is you may lose your house. the good news when the movers come, you can call them by the appropriate pronoun. let's welcome tonight's guests. she knows security like i know
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immaturity. former deputy national security adviser mcfarland. as our british conservative he feels conflicted about driving on the left. best selling author and fox news contributor, douglas murray. he's exactly what we look for in a guest, available on short notice. fox news contributor tom shilue. she's like a spider, small, lanky and people scream when they find her in their bathtub, fox news contributor, kat timpf. douglas, always a pleasure to have you back on this show. i'm not paid to say that although i should be. there's always a but with me and it's usually firm. would you ever hire one of these people as a lawyer. could you imagine them trying to
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argue a case in court. >> it's terrifying. these, most people think stanford is like the third best law school in america. these students are going to go onto serious careers or should have gone onto serious careers. i think they should be chucked out of the university. i think every one should be fired. they shouldn't be able to work, not in the law. they're not going to be able to represent any clients. it's going to be a horrible shock for them when they discover what crime is. >> real crime. >> not just hurty word, murder, stabbing, rape. they will have to be in court prosecuting or defending. we don't want a generation of american lawyers who run out of the courtroom for safe space. there's one other thing, this apology just isn't enough. i still can't get over the sheer joy of the fact that the diversity, inclusion and equity officer is called steinbar.
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i'm sure there's this back story there of something that somebody could call oppression. she's got such a great grift going on here. however, it should stop and if stanford is serious about all of this, fire her tomorrow. the idea of this woman had the audacity to speak over a judge and pretend that she knew more. go, fire her. save the salary. >> yeah. >> it was planned. she had a speech ready. she was swooping down to steal the moment. they have more consultants than any other school because they have to many woke students. they understand the first amendment. that's scary. in 20 years they will be, i don't know, i guess they will be
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waiting on me. they'll have to change me. they'll carry me in a little box. even if i'm healthy. >> you know what really excites me. >> what? >> have you heard of chad, gbt, artificial intelligence how people in certain jobs will be replaced by computers. it's a scary thought, isn't it? guess who is the number one profession that's going to be replaced by computers. lawyers. these people aren't going to be able to pass any of the bar exams. >> they will get rid of the bar exam. >> of course. >> it's racist. >> the second profession that's going to go is teachers, professors. i'm just thrilled with this. keep talking , you idiots. enjoy it while you've got it. >> we had this discussion, if i
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can online become a notary, you can become a lawyer online. >> you can become a priest online. >> oh, i have. i've met a few. speaking of priest, tom. don't you think it's time to create a whole new kind of university system? i know there's a university of austin is kind of openly challenging this kind of orthodox but you've got young daughters. >> that's right. >> you have to start thinking about this. >> tom's university, maybe. i like the sound of that. >> you're dressed like -- >> lieu you. >> you look like a yell leader. not a cheerleader but a yell leader. >> cricket captain. >> i went back to the origins of this because i wanted to know why was this judge so controversial. >> it's amazing. >> is he some kind of shock jock. he had case in front of him, it
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was guy flnamed norman and he g caught with child porn. he wanted to go back and the guy turned into kathryn. he said you need to go back and change the arrest warrant to kat kathryn. the judge was like it's norman who did that. >> exactly. he caught the grift. the guy was changing his gender to say i'm a woman and go to the women's prison. that what his sin. >> if you're going to change to kat kathryn, wouldn't you want norman to be the guilty one. >> it's almost like as if norman bates was able to convince the judge that his mother really ki killed janet lee. >> i never saw that movie. >> spoiler alert. >> i've had plenty of time. >> should we call you norman here? >> good one. >> thank you.
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you saw what happened to charlie kirk there at uk davis. do you think that would happen to you? you think about that. >> that did happen to me. what are you talking about? 2016. someone whipped water in face and dumpbed a whole water bottl on my head. >> until you had somebody protest you on a college, you really haven't arrived. good for you. i'm thrilled. been there before. >> joe, pat, this is why i carry around my own glass of acid. >> yeah. >> if somebody douses water on me, i throw acid on them and i can't get arrested because they will go, i thought it was acid so i had acid with me. >> i forgot mine on the kitchen table. >> i'm not sure there's any law that protects you on that, greg. >> norman. >> i think there's something impressive a little bit here. i thought, you know, that nobody could ever do as good of a job as devaluing a college education
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as the government is doing, but these kids are doing pretty well. as you mentioned, douglas, to do lawyering, the only part of that is being in the room with somebody with whom you disagree. that's the only thing that you have to do. you can't do that, you can't be a lawyer. you can't do anything. if you can't be in 8,000 acres of someone you disagree with without having a total meltdown. i couldn't have sur vovived whe was working as a boston market cash cashier. you can't go anywhere. >> even then, nobody is watching them either. >> all right. k.t. you're a monster tonight. you and me in purple. we're going to paint the town purple tonight. all right. up next, there's no disputing
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so, what should we do when they turn our drone into goo? the pentagon is blaming russian fighter jets for causing a u.s. drone to crash into the black sea. sorry, person of color sea, on tuesday. the drone was shot down just two days after its warranty expired from radio shack. putin denied responsibility so quickly, he's been made an honorary clinton. those jokes never get old. speaking of russia, rod desantis is getting push back from fellow righties for insinuating that
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further u.s. war in ukraine is not vital to our national interest. with so much invested in ukraine, withdrawing support is easier said than done. i just came up with that. maybe as president, desantis might be able to do what no biden can do, pull out in time. terrible. k.t., applauding that one. the pentagon's focused on more important stuff, aliens. not the ones complaining about our free food and hotel rooms. they could be visiting our solar similar in a big mothership and releasing probes near earth which might explain that weird soreness i feel when i sit down. this as the navy plans to increase climate spending almost
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20% in 2024. they are asking congress for 400 million dollar for electric vehicles and solar micro grids because nothing inspires fear than a battleship with an extension cord. we can't go to war, mr. president, someone forgot to charge up our aircraft carriers. k.t., there's a lot of parts to this segment. i don't know which topic you want to hone in on. i don't think the drone getting close to our plane is that big of a deal. what's the black sea? it's almost kind of russia. >> international waters, it's a deal but not a big deal. desantis is right. the difference is vital national interest for which we would go to war and there are interests and national interests for which we might try to affect the outcome but we don't necessarily send in the marines. de desantis was right to say there
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th this is not vital. number one, stop the war in american fossil fuels so that american oil producers and natural gas producers start pumping it out. we become not just energy dependent but dominant. that's the word. that drivers the price down. russia's bankrupt within six months because it requires all that. that is how paying for the war, the high price of oil and gas. within six month, russia is bankrupt and forced to the negotiating table. you find a deal and ukraine wins the piece because five years after the fighting stops, ukraine is a fully integrated economy into europe. what's russia? low gas price, it's bankrupt. a war it didn't win, it's a pi r -- piraha state. >> i'm going to say what you
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said tomorrow. i'm going to call it the gutfeld doctrine. steal it out right. no one will think i stole it. >> i like it. >> do you agree, could bit that simple? >> i don't know if it is. i was going to talk about the aliens. >> please do. i know you hate them. >> i don't believe in aliens because i believe in jesus and i feel like he would have said something. i don't think he would have said what planet they are on but he would have mentioned it. i will come again and glory to judge the living and the dead and try to get here before the spacemen. >> maybe he didn't want to spoil the surprise. >> that's a possibility. >> what if jesus was an alien. can i say that? >> no. maybe that's it. >> i'm a catholic, you know. >> that's why you should take it
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back, greg. >> it's like if you have a more universal idea of the afterlife, the after life could be. this is the thing about doctrine. you believe it a certain way. you could be living a simulation. you don't know. >> you like that simulation thing. i'm not that into that. >> i know. i know. it doesn't have as interesting reading as catholcism. kat, do you want to cover aliens or drones or desantis or climate funding? there's a lot of options there. >> the climate funding concerns me less than the amount of funding. the military budget that biden is demanding is either the largest in peacetime or the largest in history depending on who you ask and how they look at the numbers. >> if you look at inflation, he's cutting defense spending. >> we're supposedly not at war and not thinking about going to
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war. i just don't buy it. i have some concern about it. i think there's a lot of distraction. if anybody askings any question there's a lot of pile on. this person is a russian operative. really, you have many legitimate reasons to question this, and you should question most things. to question this in particular when you look at history and when you look at the president and it's that kind of catch all term. it makes me want to question it. >> you're in putin's pocket. >> seer, like that. >> that's what they say. i don't say you're in putin's pocket. >> a bunch of people is like got them. who are these people? what do you do? >> spent two weeks in putin's pokt pocket and they say you're in putin's pocket. >> douglas, thoughts on ukraine. i'm sure you have some. you went there. >> i'm more interested in the aliens. >> okay. let's go with that.
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>> you though where the little men antenna like that get out of the spaceship and they come for human being and say take us to your leader. it feels like we're close to that point and when we introduce them to the president, they can say, you're joking. >> you know, trump would be great with the aliens. >> he'd love it. >> you guys got to try the steaks. >> he'd say we fell in love. >> we fell in love. >> by the way, best aliens. the best ever. no wall. no wall for these aliens. right. any way. that's not even a good impression. i don't try. story of my life. up next, did female guards send nudes to hornyx prison dudes.
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they skipped the yard for sex with the guard. britain's largest and so-called cus cushiest prison is become rocked with a sex scandal involving the female guards. it just wasn't their upper lips that were stiff. a new report alleged countless intimate and inappropriate relationships were had between the male prisoners and the women guarding them. apparently, it's been going on for six years. so far, 18 women employed by the jail have either been fired or quit for getting lucky with the locked up limies. the hot ones have been offered jobs as high school teachers. according to prison officials the problem stems from hiring the wrong kind of women. meaning those who are susceptible to male advances.
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translation, not lesbians. as for the remaining prison staff that are required to undergo new corruption prevention training and just to be safe, how to make a condom out of an empty pack of cigarettes. i don't know. you know what, i love this topic before i was reading it, kat. this goes back to the inate definition of biology. you can't have women guarding men in prison because they have will have sex. >> a lot of people say my english major was waste of time but i learned a lot about life through the literature i read. this story remind me from one of the rabbit books which was you can't trust anybody not to [ bleep ]. that's true. i mean, does it make sense for these women to be going to prison to find guys to sleep with?
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no but neither does going on the bachelor. >> i would watch a prison bachelor. >> at least there there's more than one guy. i'm sure the guys have a lot more personality. yeah, you can just expect it. >> yeah. you love a bad boy. let's go to our bad boy from england over here. that's a segue. >> a terrible segue. >> if i was in prison, and let's say i might be soon, that would be my goal. say you got to go away for 30 years, that's a goal. i'm going to try to bed deloris on c 15 row 3. >> when i read this story, i felt like it was something from your imagination. i thought it was a movie you had imagined in your head. >> it is. it's exactly a moovie i would see. >> and have done. >> and starred. >> it's an uncomfortable thing
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and the birds having to police the bees in prison. this sort of thing will happen. we get back to this kpl if we do want this equitiable society thing then 50% of prison guards have to be women. 50% have to be men. about 3% have to be trans. you have to make sure you have the right representation. hopefully over represented and you go do that for everything. not just high status jobs. they are always obsessed with hollywood and the oscars. >> not the mundane jobs. >> do it with prison guards and road layers and all that. >> how about the nba? >> that would be good way to start civil war. >> yes, exactly. i'm sure they pick the things that only their interested in, but it's like maybe we should have equity in the nba. let a 5'5" guy. >> you're not 5'5".
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>> he could identify as 6'5". >> he always says 5'5". >> exactly. all right, tom. this shows you can't let women and men mix without a chaperon. >> i've never been in prison. >> you're married, aren't you? in your face. in your face. >> i've never been in prison but i did build a fort as a kid. both places, no girls allowed. that should be the rule. >> the funny little sign and it was misspelled. >> it was for their protection. we were young boys. no wrgirls allowed. no women prison guards. i don't know the law but it seems like a hooters waitress. every once in a while some guy sues but he never wins. you can have all girl waitresses
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if you want in a restaurant. am i right? >> yes. >> how did they get away with it? how come you can't have all guy fire departments? >> you should be a lawyer. >> i know. >> k.t. you called me and said you're not wearing purple and also can we do this story. do you remember that? >> i know. it was pretty amazing. then we had the conversation about what's going on in scotland because it's even weirder than what's going on in england. in scotland, there was a man convicted of raping two women and then after he was sentenced, he said i'm not really a man. i want to change. by the way, they couldn't figure out which prison to put him in. he might have changed his mind again. >> right. >> i think the only place you put people, some of the people who kind of switch back and forth, they have to have their own prison. >> separate prison. >> the first minister of scotland -- >> she's having to resign. >> she had a very interesting
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conclusion. she could also the question what a trans person was. she could answer what a nonbinary person was which nobody else could do. she couldn't answer the question of what a woman was. she came to the conclusion there's three sexes on this planet. there are men. there are women, and then there's the third sex which is rapist. she said i don't think of this person as a man or woman. they're a rapist. that's not the same thing. this is scottish biology in the 21st century. >> thank god they don't get the show here or we would get letters from a lot of drunks. >> they wouldn't get around to writing. >> i love the scotts. i love their tape. any way. coming up, our guests peruse their local news. makes it easy to compare home insurance options.
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yes, it's local news. it's the segment where each guest has to share a real news story from where ever they're from. then i vote on the winner and that person gets to choose a snack from our snack award showcase. all right. >> i'll be in the car. >> all right. tom. >> this is the most
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massachusetts story ever. during the recent nor'easter the barn roof collapsed killing some cows. the farm collarified bailey the donkey survived. so cute. also, more good news. plow driver matt chandler made a ton of overtime. do we have the tape? go ahead. >> okay. >> i watched snow flakes turn into dollar signs. >> he made extra money, greg. >> you know what he said, he saw snow flakes turn into dollar signs. that's almost like fox news. great job, tom. kat. michigan. >> there was survey been clever real estate that detroit, michigan is the city with the best pizza for two years in a row, which i thought was pretty
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cool because i love detroit pizza and i saw the other place on the list. number two, hartford, connecticut, number two, boston. phoenix, arizona. buffalo, pittsburgh. i don't know if clever real estate knows what they're talking about. >> that's kind of -- this is really bad. people move to the cities based on that survey and they will go why did you move to phoenix? for the pizza. then what's going to happen is it's going to be so hot and miserable there, you go let's get that pizza. it will burn your mouth and you'll throw yourself off one of those big mountains they have in sedona. what do you think? where are you from? you've always been too polite to
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mention it. >> i'm from a far, far away land that goes by the nayme of england. >> will your story will filled with woodland creatures? >> we are ruled over by kings and queens and we have no rights at all. the people who suffer most in this land are a couple who go by the name of prince harry and the duchess of sussex. they are especially beleaguered as a couple. all they want is their privacy. yet, it keeps on being invaded by themselves. there's nothing they can do about it because there's cash on the other side of it. the point is, it's a very sad tale. you probably haven't heard tell of it before. the latest development is that
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they are probably not going to go to the coronation of the king which means they will get another netflix series out of that. probably another memoir and i mean the lesson is if you want freedom, you should go and live in a state run by gavin newsom. that's what we have learned. >> fantastic. all right. last one. >> is it true she wants to go to stanford law school and be part of the group? >> i think she's going to replace miss crime balker. >> where are you from? >> i'm talking about sarasota. it's the most wonderful story. it's on the water. sarasota bay. a man fell off his boat at night, but his dog fell out too. the police, the sarasota bay patrol came and rescued the man.
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took him to the hospital. he was fine. nobody could find the dog. now you'll see the picture of tinker bell. tinker bell, the little chihuahua was found after 40 minutes of being lost at sea and tinker bell had found an old piling and was perched on the top with just her head submerged and the sarasota police found her, rescued little tinker bell and everybody lived happily ever after. that's a florida story. >> i don't know if that's the greatest story i've ever heard or i just like listening to you tell it. i bet you did great bedtime stories, right? >> oh, yeah. that's why i had five children, eight grand children. i'm called granny mack. i'm the best storyteller.
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five words youngins don't share their food. just 26% or two out of -- no, i
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got this wrong. two out of three people said they won't share food when eating a meal with their partner including 75% of milennals. what do you think about that? >> it depends on where you are. you can have a couple of my fries but you're not going to slurp on my ramen noodles. >> i love splitting a soup with someone. when you're not that hungry but you want some soup. you want one spoon and sometimes i'll do it with complete strangers. is that weird? >> i think you're at a point in your life where you should be getting your own soup. >> yeah. how about you? >> yeah. >> you don't even eat. >> i'm not the one with the food. i say i'm not hungry and i change my mind when the person's food arrives. then i eat a will the of it.
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when they get mad, i say why you being such a [ bleep ]. >> i've seen there happen. >> it's called being a woman. >> you know, k.t., is there a conclusion that we can make about millennials that is as sweeping as insulting? >> yeah. the problem is when they started out, when they were toddlers, you know they were eating each other's food. they were slurping each other's everything. what happened to this generation where all of a sudden they have gone from being really happy about sharing their food, wanted to have your food. you have a bottle of water and your 2-year-old grand child wants it too. hands it back to you. what happens to the people who then five or ten or 20 years later, don't touch my french fries. i'm a snow flake. >> douglas, this brings back incredible memories as a kid with soda pop, you drink it. you go you want some and hand it over and go back wash. back wash.
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you spit back into the soda. you did that in england, if you had soda. >> we didn't in my day. >> we did that. >> we're not talking about it. we're friends. we're talking about this is partners. this is being on date. this is very, very troubling for the future of the species. i would say if you're on a date with a nice lady or gentleman and you say would you mind if i reach over and had one of your french fries and they said, i don't want that. the chances of you sharing dna later are very small. >> that's true. wouldn't that be funny if she was nasty in the snack but didn't like you to touch her fries. >> that happens. my point is consistency. >> what hypocrites. >> when i said that, i don't mean a literal sack. i don't put people in sacks.
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out of time. that's it for our studio audience. [ applause ] [ cheers ] good evening, welcome to america's late news, i am trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking tonight a triple blow to the biden administration and it comes from within the administration. the border patrol chief today testified that his agency does not have control over the border. that it is not secure and we need trump's wall. matt fin is live with more on that and why democrats did not show up to hear it. good evening. >> reporter: the burden of the border crisis falls on the

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