old to become a first time dad this is 90-year-old mr. pickles. he welcomed three baby tortoises this week with his partner of 27 years. mrs. pickles. kids names are dill and jalapeno let's hope those elderly parents are able to keep up with those little guys that has how fox reports saturday march. ♪ ♪ >> maniac. a maniac all right --ac happy tuesday everyones.. so are there any big stories out today that could change thean futurey of this country? no.no good, good, good -- in that case i would like to talk about something that., concerns me. young people -- right now you've seen the statsy

98% of young people think i'm hot. [laughter] i know. i know -- the other 2% are either born without the gift of sight or wouldn't know hot if they sater bare ass on a george foremane grill and under 20 crowd 36% are single but just few year ago in 2019 only 51%. that's a legitimate jump 9% if you will in just a short time. the reason, of course, of many to d o with pornography video hd games and other apps that made human resources cease my ipad. and certainly, the me toort movement played aia role.y it has easier to avoid intimate connections altogether than risk being accused of goode knows what so you're left with a dating pool so shallow even dani perino couldn't drown in it but young people having problems

everyone else is fine.yone but you know it is not just because we're already married. it's because we're already older. we made it through the dating game before wokism hit. and wokism is like a personality std. you know what that stands for.th it's killed more sex drives than a woman of the view swimsuit calendar. for kills dating by masklating women by women who want wokenesn when they really don't when we know is that women don't want a pushover.kn and wokeness is being a pushover on steroids and not the opinion kind it is the kind that gravesr grandmother to treat hernd t rheumatism. wokism fails men because it makes them look backward not forward to disown your past. instead of anticipate and get sight for the future. and there's nothing sexy about a man weeping over his white

privilege that's why men hatema therapy.n look ahead, not back.ap afterall there's a reason boys pick science fiction over jane austin there's a reason elon musk is more interesting than seth meyers. for one, who is seth meyers? [laughter] ask my writers this. elon is a perfect example ofon i looking ahead and don't look man man who does reverse become speed bumps in your road to success so do woke men existin beyond the media?t set iton before only woke men wf successful before they werewo woke. hell even admiral lavigne was pennsylvania health secretary before he turned in his pants p foenr a girdle use toed host mae show it was crude and funny but today if his were higher he

would be lactating with estrogef levels higher. a decade ago were they saying that crap back then no they wero trying to be successful and you can't do that with a woke mindset this is true in romance as well. and this has girls wondering has where the hell are the men?on they becomdee soft -- sad, and ashamed that they have testicles unless, of course, they're under a dress. women see a dude in a futurist female t-shirt and makes them drier than nancy pelosi hikingae through the mojave desert. terrible -- this leaves men confused i thought you wanted this new improved male.un well while it was new it wasn't improved. it wasim a deeing regages of manliness free castration if you will so women are stuck withss what their gender warriors ask for a generation of guys who couldn't change attire or enjoy a beer that dunts have pumpkin m

spice many it women might go to protest with a woke agitator and end up attracted to the cop that's because the cop never wok made them wonder is this your bra or mine. so they're skipping generationy' of men altogether. for something else, and who is that?ol old farts yeah -- a guy who needs viagra more than he needs adderall and the statsi back it up. one recent study found thatt women in their 20s match with people the farthest out frome their age range.eir and not just men named dicaprio -- 56% of women prefer dating older men and why do you thinks do yo, of course, it could be maturity or it would be the wealth.ty but if you're a 25-year-oldal woman would you preferth a 25-year-old male who spengdz his time trying to cancel other people online?pend or an older guy who looks out for himself? onl let me put it another way prefer a guy who spank it is all day or

a guy who spanks you all night. terrible. [laughter] yeah. they're disgusting. somewhere there's a 25-year-old woman watching this and saying greg, you've just described my whole approach to dating. hopefully her name isn't frankgh and she doesn't have a penis -- but in short an ideal man'sin priorities aren't about gettingt pronounce right it i fs getting his purpose right. you can't do both men can't be woke and be men. so this is good news for youngah smart single men who have plans, love to work, lift weightingssi and eangt steak.rk u you'resome short supply making you in high demand andpp disagree mlye pinged a gender neutral bathroom and cry, cry alone. let's welcome -- wit tonight's guest good thing he's a doctor because he's got onego hell of a sick body.dy doctor drew doctor drew pinsky.

he thought he could get him penicillin sam roberts show drei norton. after 30 years in tv she describes tonight's show as you guessed it a low point. former fox news anchor author of the book writes her own story patty m. brown. and finally, she's like a cold spring day -- 38 to chilly, fox news contributor katd kat tim. yes -- first congratulations -- on being voted by gq most woke comedian it is quite an honor. >> yeah. don't you love that. finger snapping -- oh i hate when a crowd laughs or

claps. get with it. yeah. what i need. yes. what do you agree with one of my theory do you think i'm hyperbolic or truth to it? >> i think there's truth buta women like when you can connect as well.n like you know whey mean theyt don't want every woman doesn't want have a firemen they like the fact that i'm hard as nails but i also cry when i can't maintain my erection combination of those things. i -- mai so i think you're right. it is not necessarily a sexy quality and they like older. men --essa but probably for the same reasons you said because we have money that's why. or they think it is sexy when i tell them how much things costkt when i was their age. >> that's definitely a turnon.td bab when you were single or imagine if you were single would you have dated a woke -- what would be the requirement for that? >> i don't care i would not datn a woke and that's why i was single for a really, really long time.

[laughter] but at the end of the day i was marge someone younger. >> that's right --ay so it's hard to find someone out there these days. >> yes. like who -- who's it hard for? >> you know, i listen to the show -- f i'orm looking -- >> not lately. married almost 20 years happily to my younger man.>> you know, thank you. thank you you can applaud to that. >> a smattering of applause. so sure. definitely not so sure. >> that was polite applause. >> i figured that. there's a radio segment on blown off and i'm addicted to it and it's just a guy or girl calls in and says you know i went on one date or blew me off and they ger the person on the phone -- get and it's always something realll obvious -- that the person somehow didn't realized because i think one of the problems is people don'tize know how to interact in person

anymore. they don't know how to go on a date and do stupid things because they get their social norms from reality tv and social media and tiktok and they have no idea how to behave in public. >> that's a great point. that is a great pongt.ave because they're better using use and probably used dr. drew'sct e fault. >> could be.nt because you're exploited reality tv -- i'm kidding. but -- [laughter]lity but her point is well taken but i'll tell you what i've been the talking to young people for b decades so iee hear things befoe they get into the sort of dataet sets and -- what i'm hearing lately is a,ea they're definitely the wind is out of the sails involved with their porning face and b they're afraid of being seen asol predatorvey relationships are hard. they have no practice, and working on them and then navigating them they rather sit with their porn and i'm starting to hear about prostitution use first anytime my career hearing

a young man report spontaneously that this is something they'rehr doing. so --ne >>ou taras a transaction when money passes hands it is trustworthy they won't get it' accused of anything. >> yeah it is very sad and we need to encourage to meet in flesh and person just the -- healthiness of spending twiem other humans has been lost byer social media t. so there's a lot going on and i is i'm arguing it is a choice l thesote young men are pulling away. it is not just porn is taking wind out of the sails but they're choosing because if they can't navigate relationships. >>sale maybe this is evolution a positive thing maybe this adam and eve stoves just a waste of time. right --may [laughter] no -- >> that's easier because if you like that drip from porn, likeme when you're zoned out watchingou porn you can g give yourself tht drug for hours --tr and then a date you eat dinner all ofs. that nonsense -- >> more expensive too.

yeah, and then it's -- e you know, it's easier to give yourself that drug prostitution, yeah that definitely is something surprised young people haven't talked to you about that but hear an older guy talk to you aboue tot that, here we are- [laughter] >> surprised you would need to pay for sex jim -- >> never seen me nude, greg. [laughter] >> thank you. >> i don't think it's a surprise kat before you were married and happily married that you dated a lot of losers -- >> uh-huh. i mean -- >> that's not a joke. >> we can go through, spend hours discussing the amount of dirt bags and no good failures -- >> she and i have -- >> that's true. yeah. >> what -- do you think that doctor drew is making a good point about this other things or is it really they can't communicate?he >>r maybe. i mean, i didn't neegs od to may an old man to pay my bills. because --t ne i pay for my own bills myself, with my money that i got from

building a fan base of old men.i [laughter]ng >> that's beautiful. >> and i love you tip love you guys don't yes you i'm talking about you. don't you forget it but no matter what your wife says. [laughter]ou >> i am talking to them. >> i think that there's something too what you're saying too because my husband is by far the most conservative man that i ever dated, and he's more m conservative than osi am, and i like went through with it i married him. >> so --i we i didn't know that's what i was looking for but apparently must have been. >> there you go. there's your answer that'sy i science. right? w do you think dating apps play a role in the sense --k da >> but 10% of the people are having lots of sex and everyone? else is s out of luck. >> they go to the same like top ten percent or 5%.

>> i've done poorly on dating apps. >> because i show up they're like that's not your picture so what i'm funny. [laughter] greg: problem with dating apps it is eliminates the possibility for somebody with a interesting personality to t convince a wom that you're worth taking the risk on even though you don't look like me. >> it makes everybody disposable. everybody and how many people start out like i hated their guts first and got to know each other and like we started dating and now we're married opposed to i saw this person they said onen thing i had a woman tell me once she waves a vegan she said do yu eat fish she blocked me. [laughter] >> that's fantastic. >> all right we have to move on up next social media play by the rules after lawsuits from schools. [applause]

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♪ [cheer >> thank you oh you're too kind. these tiktok to blame when youri kindd goes insane. and will big tech pay the price for treating our kids like laboratory mice and suing sociam media giants contradicting to ay mental healtinh crisis among nation most youngest minds and someim educators upset over thiy they've stopped hitting oner that students. seattle public schools took time off from calling everythingic racist and s filed a first lawst back in january. arguing social media companiessu design andit marketed their sigl to attract minors. seattle schools said media companies should instead teach kids basics like how to make a molotov cock tail and bucks county filed a suit against tiktok instagram, facebook, s snapchatui and youtube.

those platforms actually encourage yout ah addiction andf haveor exploited developing mine withoud t consequence exchanging our children's mental well beinn focer billions in ad revenue. and a statement of fox news, metapreviously facebook said it is developed more than 30 toolsn to support i teens and familieso do i actually.o su [laughter]mi thisli from mark zuckerberg who named initial creation face mash . a hot or not game allow visitors to compare two students faces side by side and let them decide who was more attractive trusting him with teens would be like hunter to get your laptop fixed. . dr. drew, you are a doctor, or so you claim. can you blame what is happening? let me ask you some a different question. what are the symptoms, what is

this causing? >> the most obvious manifestations are in younger females, teenage girls, suppression, overall depression substance abuse, it is a disaster for young people and then covid put that on steroids and like you said, not the fun kind, and the schools sent kids home with electronic to pets, exposure to and 16 went up to write everything that you have read being alleged i don't how they get from out from underneath, we will one days like this greens like the way w look at tobacco. >> did you hear what he said? you could say we do band stuff like smoking and alcohol for children, but does it work? should we be doing that with social media? is social media like an actual substance?

>> i don't know if it works great i don't know if you're going to be able to keep kids from going on that. i did smoke as sig. before i wa 18. my parents were very strict, bu they couldn't keep me under their eyes all the time. i never had to deal with cyber bullying growing up, i deal wit it now. like i didn't as a kid, but now i'm being cyber bullied by people old enough to be these peoples grandparents or my grandparents fred. >> do you ever think those are the wives of the older men that you thank? >> i love you too, wives. don't listen to what your husband says. but, there is this one guy name dan, that just helps has horrible things about me every single night. so he never has any other plans so he's a bully into loser. so i think parents need to pay attention with her kids are doing online, but are you being

jerks, are you being jerks on line because if they see you being a jerk, they think it's okay for them to be a jerk? to get that's part of it. >> we need to seal all the hot people. >> there is that. it is the sting in the exposure. the average age of exposure to p port is nine. >> when i was a kid you would have to go to the woods and you would have to find pornos an d things fred. >> it was more of a challenge for it can get those adventurou days. we are learning that children are also abscessed with status. another thing, for example, whe i grew up i had no idea what

might neighbors parents did her money. i was friendless, alone, and said. i didn't know people were havin a better time with me. if i had instagram, i would kno everybody is having a better time. >> i would say ignorance is bliss, and when i was growing up , there we're probably parties i wasn't invited to end maybe you'd get a sense that there were things you were missing, but you never knew for sure, no you know for sure. it's not just the kids who are damaged by that. i know a lot of people my age, they see something on facebook, all my gosh, all my friends got together and i wasn't invited. it's very hurtful to all ages. but when it comes to kids, the comparison to smoking i think i accurate because they were arguing back then that they wer manipulating the nicotine to make it maximum the addicted bird they studied the brain and figured out had to get you to keep going in going on it and they're supposedly doing it on purpose.

it goes back to the question of how do you stop it? >> i have to say. in person, emphasizing humans i space, flesh meeting is really necessary. >> jim, shouldn't these kids just grow up? >> attaway, greg. >> parents are to blame. when i was a kid, if i got a mouth question wrong, i got burned with a cigarette, but i've made sure i studied my math . >> and now, you should think your parents. >> i do. sometimes i will call my mom an say things, mom, she said it welcome. so i think part of it is the parents bed. >> it's everybody's fault. up next, florida has had

>> this is fun. there is there too much commotion by the ocean? has our faith been shaken by spring breaking. >> it seems to have been a tota disaster this year. its new not due to sightings of jim norton in a. with drunks in firearms and booze, what could go wrong? many residents want to see the whole thing canceled after two shootings in miami beach on the weekend. if the folks of miami beach wan to see that the move to chicago. city officials have imposed a curfew which has forced those poor kids to throw up in there own hotel rooms.

and they asked for spring break in our city? >> we don't ask for spring brea inner-city, we don't want sprin break in our city. it's too rowdy, it brings too much disorder and it is too har to believe. >> while that spring break nonsense might play at the jersey shore, south beach local from on that behavior in there faces are paralyzed from botox. but is kids on spring break really the answer? the one move would be devastating for the antiviral medication industry but there are concerns, like american tourists going missing in mexico , cocaine getting cut with fentanyl and partygoers who recommend red bull. seriously, i had no idea you ha to pour it out of the can. have you ever been on spring break? >> never as a college student that i did go covers spring break in 2016 in cancún.

at think we have some of the video. to get what you think about the election, who are you voting for ? get i'm voting for donald trump. >> vaidya like trump? >> it's like taking the best std . >> what you think is the best std you can have? >> gonorrhea. >> you have a strong preference for chlamydia? >> what you think of isis? >> i like isis. >> you restored my faith in america in that clip. >> it's longer than five minutes , i think we can't give up spring break because we're giving up so much content. >> that is better than anything you see on waters. you know what i mean?

jim, you've been going on sprin break for 40 years now. as an elder statesman, i call myself a fun died. >> i have seen you host the parade pretty. >> take off my church, they see my side fat and they cheer my pose. during fiscal year what you should be encouraging kids to d is drink and do cocaine and get high, that way when spring brea comes, all they have to do is quietly reflected with a book, but it's because they're cooped up and for it all year at heard i hate spring break i posted it in two pilots, neither we're popular or got picked up, but i went down there and i had horrible explosive diarrhea on the beach. that is my spring break story. >> i won't talk about what happened to me? did you ever do spring break specs.

>> i did mellow ones brickey i heard you were a very violent person pretty get a couple of shootings. i went too nice resorts, i was very boring as a child. i have seen some of the video and the pictures that we are seeing her paid my first though is we are paying the student loans of a lot of these kids which is really depressing. anybody who goes on spring brea cannot get there student loans build out, period. >> i don't think it stands a chance. but you see this picture is, yo didn't show a lot of them, but the pictures in the articles of these kids, they are disgusting. >> did you see the ones where the women were fighting? he get there where fighting and there was all kinds of stuff. could get they can obviously se that there are cameras right on them they should either too stupid to know or they actually want to be seen because any kin

of fame is good. >> is this innocent fun gone awry? is it just drinking run amok? >> i've been making the case fo in person gatherings and here w are. >> we were just talking about how young people aren't talking to young people and then we are seeing this plug, saying it's bad. >> a couple of things fred miam is cracking down, their curfew is midnight and they're allowin people to go back to the hotels and continue drinking. every adverse outcome you came comes with the health of young people. alcohol is always in the mix. whether it's your favorite std, whether it's unwanted sexual contact, whether it's a fight o police action, there is always alcohol or to get alcohol is a toxic chemical, but without it we wouldn't even have a show right now.

>> probably not. good point. >> thank you. thank you for that. >> it's a powerful message. >> alcohol is american hero. why do they have spring break? why did we decide that kids nee a break from school? it's incredible, that's all the do is have fun, and oh, i need to take a break i need to go down and do jell-o shots in miami or lake have assumed or whatever that is pretty you're saying it like that but you're making it sound like a funds on time. it sounds like more fun going down and doing jell-o shots in miami. >> it could just be jell-o shot pretty get a live jell-o. >> i dropped out of high school. >> i this idea of selling you know they have beer without alcohol. i was thinking alcohol free jell-o.

>> tell cosby about it. that's amazing. >> he did jell-o p.m. >> put you talking about? that was a great joke. jerks. coming up, our i'm your overly competitive brother. check. psych! and i'm about to steal this game from you just like i stole kelly carter in high school. you got no game dude, that's a foul! and now you're ready to settle the score. game over. and if you don't have the right home insurance coverage, well, you could end up paying for all this yourself. so get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, yeah, like me. thanks, bro. take a lap, rookie. real mature. ancestry's helped me really understand my family's immigration experience. ♪ i've been able to explore and learn a tremendous amount about how chinese americans have experienced civil rights

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[cheers and applause] ♪ >> and want to see you back in the kitchen. >> i'll be back there if you want some passionfruit. >> all right, jim, what is your local news story? >> if i win, i am going to take the banana. a local news story, i'm from jersey city, so i found out tha union county is being asked to change their county seal which is a favorite of all of us because it depicts the 1780 shooting of woman named hannah caldwell the first woman killed in the revolutionary war and sh was actually killed inside of her house, but this, you can even see the little puff of smoke from the gun and her hand

are up, it's the distinct owner only being the seal that by the u.s. government that depicts an actual murder in progress, so they are begging them to change it. i happen to be a big fan of it, it looks like a fireside cartoon . >> it's the worlds best first fireside cartoon. >> i'm a fort and i think they shouldn't change it. would be great is if you get a thing like this and you submit it to the new yorker. as a cartoon. >> overlooked, here's biden, an here's the economy. >> all right, dr. drew, what story, i hope it's a good one. >> interesting, celebrity news frequently makes headlines ther and amanda bynes has been

hospitalized for hospitalization . it should not been a story if she had had something like site crop psoriasis or anything else perigee has been stable, it is chronic condition and people need to be tuned up and hospitalized. the fact that they made this a new story is a tragedy be married it should not been a ne story. just keep going and she will be fine. >> and she asked to call 911 on her own. >> note she knows what she has, it's never a straight line, really, things happen, just think of diabetes. its undercontrol every once in while you need to get stuff happening. thing same with brain disorders brickey except when you have diabetes you don't walk around

naked. >> i'm sure that's why it was a new story because she was walking around naked. >> if it wasn't, how disappointing would it be. >> that's why i'm never naked just in case. >> where are you from quest. >> i'm originally from queens, but i'm currently on long island , the big story is our governor hopeful is trying to force suburbs to force themselves into cities called the housing compact which shoul be called the war on single-family homes. which he's doing is saying that every municipality would be required to increase their housing units by 3 percent ever three years freight if you live near a train, which almost ever suburb is right near a train coming you have to increase fro like in my neighborhood we have ten units per square acre to ge this is boring. >> in know it is i'm sorry. is a serious issue because what they're saying is we're going t have to build apartment buildings in then have all the cops and the schools accommodat

this added population. >> is that for the tax revenue. >> it's an equity. >> i feel like i'm on some loca affiliate. >> it's a really huge story in biden is trying to do the same thing nationwide so everybody should be paying attention. >> basically whether trying to do is make kind of like suburbs of satellite urban dwelling spread. >> they're just trying to destroy the character of suburban neighborhoods. basically they're going to make them more like city spread. >> so what they're saying is what you're saying is white is right yes, that's exactly what said. they're trying to make it into racing track again i know, i'm getting it. key that's of what they're doing , they are trying to make it a racing, but it has nothing to do with race. >> michigan. >> number 12 most generate stat for tipping which i thought was

interesting because new york is 45. and guess what is dead last, california. >> we are last in everything, why not that. >> did they say why? i have a theory. get the reason why california i last in tipping is they're all in the service industry. >> as somebody who worked in th service industry in california for four years i was generous with tipping, and i was also really bad at and didn't get th best to. >> i don't trust people who say they are good tippers spread. >> event to trust me. to get it could be there's a lo of tourist in these places and lot of tourist from other countries don't tip in their culture spread can get that's the excuse i use when i travel abroad. >> a do it when i hear, i just talk with an accent. why my being arrested? this was legal in my country.

>> i don't know who won that one . patty patti ann browne was boring. dr. drew was too serious freigh if i want to hear about amanda bynes brachii always want to hear about amanda bynes. >> i guess were different. >> we are different. the tipping thing, not bad. >> i think you're the winner, jimmy. >> you have i had a murder in mind. you won, the rest of you lost, but you can make it up in the next s

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seeing the broadway show some like it hot, which is already funny, when another theatergoer pooped in the aisle near them. it might be the fourth time inside the theater, so is this person paying for tickets just to poop there. >> i'm thinking that older people go to the theater. i thought they were saying moulin rouge and nobody caught on that [bleep] was hitting the fan. >> apparently there was a turd at the broadway show and also i the aisle. i am referring to hillary clinton. thank you. applause. >> i actually know what happen. >> they were in charts first, they thought it was a regular review of the play, but then

they realized it was a copy of the 2016 campaign strategy. >> all right, pab, did you put some hard thought into what might be behind this? this segment is called poo detective. you have to solve the crime. >> it is a mystery, on one hand the theater said this is an isolated event within their number to source, see what i di there? said no, actually this has happened four times. so was the first source just fo of crap. >> the source is the pooper. why would you say it only happened once in laois you wanted to do it again. you wanted to throw people off of your poop trail.

>> there is a second. >> it is a very specific number. that is the person doing it. he it just seems strange that someone would purchase a ticket for that. >> and work at the theater. >> it's an inside job. to keep they can't be actually p pooping in the aisle they have to be smuggling it in. >> or it falls out of a pant leg . people don't do that intentionally. >> i would smuggle it in under my hat. >> wow, i think poop detective

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after advil. let's dive in. but, what about your back? it's fine. before advil. advil, dual action bites, pain, two ways.

advil targets pain at the source. acetaminophen blocks, pain signals, advil, dual action. >> we are out of time. thank you pab, jim norton, we are out of time. thank you to our studio audience. [applause] [inaudible] [applause] [cheering] ♪ ♪ ♪ spieth it is got to be saturday i am bryan kohberger this is what nation. karl rove will break down in democratic perspective. ray kelly how he brought crime under control in the 80s and 90s and how we can do it again. sid rosenberg will break down what scranton things of joe biden pretty might be surprised. but first, the theme of the week is to tears, two tiers of justice. it seems as though the actual evidence of wrongdoing does no