conway and celinda lake. thanks for inviting us into your home. that's it for this "special report" fair balanced unafraid. did you see the masters yesterday? did you watch the masters jesse? >> jesse: i saw the end. very proud for spain good tour for the liv too,. >> there you go. see you. >> jesse: every president has a little swagger. do you remember slick wily on the sax? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jesse: barry's voice had some baritone to it ♪ there be no third term. i can't stay forever.

besides daddy has an hawaii vacation booked in about 223 days, but who is counting? >> jesse: if you don't have musical chops, got to have jokes. >> number 7. make sure the white house library has lots of books with big print and pictures. [laughter] [applause] >> number 6, just for fun, issue executive order commanding my brother jeb to wash my car. >> jesse: all presidents have a presence about them. donald trump showed up to a ufc fight in miami saturday night and sat front row at the octagon. [chanting] [chanting u.s.a.] >> jesse: trump rolled up with a mali crew. iron mike tyson, kid rock; even

the fighters were giving the president a shout-out. trump has been cultural icon for decades. iconic brand that people respond to. he forces people to react to him. some people react positively and as you know some people react negatively. but trump doesn't need any help. his support is organic. it's authentic. every president in the modern era has had that. every president until joe biden. the man has no brand. he is not known for anything. he never says anything. and he never goes anywhere. and when he does, people aren't really into it. >> president biden is in the house. there he is. [booze] [boos] [cheers] >> he hugs house speaker nancy pelosi. >> joe is a car guy with aviators, that's it. no one even cares. >> you all know i'm a car guy. i'm here because the auto show

and the vehicles give me so many reasons to be optimistic about the future. and i really mean it. just looking at them and driving them, they just give me a sense of optimism although i like the speed, too. >> jesse: biden is like a body double for joe biden. self-stand-in president. he can't even hit his lines. >> how was your easter? >> it was great. we went up to camp david and we had -- we -- the whole family. getting bigger and bigger. grandkids, kids. we had easter egg roll. no we did not roll. i get up at 7:00 in the morning and go out and hide a totally guess we had 38 eggs? >> yes. >> some of them have plastic one put little prizes in the eggs. >> jesse: a great story. that's' joe's problem right there. he has the charisma of a tureckets. stapling presence of a understudy under study and vision of a 12-year-old. this all got covered up in 2020 with covid's basement campaign any threat was covered up like his laptop. so, remember the foreign policy

debate? he was supposed to have with trump? he skipped it and he is the foreign policy guy. remember? so who is biden's base? nobody can tell you. any proud biden voters out there? i haven't seen any. he can't even build drama for his own re-election announcement. listen. >> mr. president, will you be taking part in the easter egg rolls after plans on after 2024. >> well, i plan on. [laughter] >> at least three or four more easter egg rolls. >> at these five. >> maybe six, what the hell. >> are you saying that you would be taking part in our upcoming election in 2024. >> i will either be rolling an egg or being the -- you know, the guy who is pushing them out. >> help a brother out. make some news for me. >> no, no. i plan on running, al, but we are not prepared to announce it yet. >> jesse: biden just announced his re-election to a weather man during an easer egg roll. honey, planning to marry you but

this isn't a proposal. how sexy. he can't just persuade voters by saying come on, man. i mean, that's all he's got. he knows hey has to pivot. you know, the white house is assem bring an army of 2keu8 loans. >> it's a day of a white house intern. >> we did a joke. hey, everyone. >> white house is super. i don't think so. >> i had the opportunity to ask the white house why gas down the street is $7. now, with putin starting this horrific fight between ukraine and russia. nobody wants to work with him and do international trade. >> day 222 being a girl, i'm in washington and i'm going to the white house to speak to the president of the united states! god bless america ♪ o say can you -- okay. love ya.

>> biden is paying dancers to like him. isn't there words for that. no 21-year-old is going to say no to a lot of cash the white house is waiving in heir face. they are going to go dance for joe's campaign and tell everybody he's cool. contrast that to trump whose entourage is tyson i mean, come on. biden is throwing cash around hoping it's going to stick. he has been spending money on canceling student loan debt. hoping that helps with young voters. he is doing everything but campaigning himself. remember, is he assembling a quote, unquote. team of democrats democrat stars like j.b. pritzker and gretchen whitmer to rally up crowds for him. he is outsourcing his campaign like he has been outsourcing his entire presidency. why? because joe is unpopular. really unpopular, and he can't move or talk. so now he is acting like the rich kid with no friends who thinkwhothinks he can win frieny

throwing a party at the beach house. is he going to pay people to tell people he is cool. by the looks of the people who o is paying, do you think that's going to work, clay? >> i hope not. but i didn't think that bud light was going to decide that a dude with a penis was the best way to try to pretend to appeal to women either. let's be honest. i don't think you or i are tiktok all stars, here's what i will say. joe biden is an accidental president. he was elected because his party managed to convince suburban women that he would solve covid and that donald trump was the big bad wolf. that's the truth. and they hid him in his basement and he did virtually nothing and he only won by 20,000 votes after they rigged the entire election after they hid everything associated with hunter biden, with the big tech, with the big media. and with the big democrat party collusion that all worked in his favor. okay? so, that was the weekend at

bernie's as i have been calling it first campaign. for those of you out there who don't remember bernie was a dead man, they made a movie about him. what is most remarkable wasn't just that movie. they actually made weekend at berniey's 2. and it was not as big of a hit because a dead man is tough to keep alive for that long. and that is metaphorically speaking i think what the biden white house is trying to do. al roker might be the most congenital, easiest going interviewer on the planet and joe biden could barely get through an interview with him. bret baier just had on jesse, i'm sure you saw 150 days since biden had an actual press conference. he can't speak, he can't walk. he certainly can't climb the stairs. there's no way in my opinion, no matter how many influencers they have working in his favor, there is zero fan base for joe biden out there. people voted against trump. that's it. >> jesse: how was your easter and the easter bunny almost had to come and save the guy. jorge, who i believe has been on

"jesse watters primetime," was fighting at ufc event that trump was at. and after the fight, he took the mic, here's what he said. >> i want to say greatest president in the history of the world sitting right there. [cheers] >> i love that guy. and take that do you know who -- let's go brandon out of power and replace him. >> jesse: got a young men in the audience and a lot of young athletes and a lot of famous faces and those aren't paid influencers. those are real people. how does that contrast with who joe biden's paying to tell people the guy is slick? >> look, first of all, joe biden had been asleep for four hours by the time ufc 2 # 7 was underway there and jorge was speaking out. trump has a power over biden in that he can stay up past midnight which i doubt biden has been up past midnight in five years. also, it's organic as you mentioned, jesse. trump was sitting next to kid

rock and next to dana white and mike tyson. by the way how fun would that quad be to be having dinner with when you consider all the different stories. there's the picture. trump has iconic charismatic appeal that biden does not have. without covid to scare everyone, joe biden is going to get swamped. and here's a good question for you, jesse. why is biden waiting so long to officially announce that he is running? that's one of the questions that i can't quite figure out. but it doesn't really make sense what he's doing unless and here's my theory. is he trying to wait until jack smith, the doj investigation tries to levy charges against trump and then he can lie to us all like he did about charlottesville with the very fine people lie that he told. trump didn't say that about nazis. that was spread widely by the left wing. when biden comes out and says now that trump is being investigated by so many different people, i've got to save the country and be normalcy. the problem is biden's done. can he barely walk across the

lawn to get on the airplane or sorry, the helicopter to fly to delaware where he spent most of his presidency. is he going to get whipped. no matter hot republican nominee is in my always humble opinion. >> jesse: and now he is off to ireland for a few days. you will never hear from him or see him at least until after the weekend. clay travis thank you so much. oh, wait, do we have a picture of clay? wait a he could is. one of my producers found a picture. do we have the photo? oh, there it is. i have to ask. >> yeah, that's me. >> jesse: what's that. >> i will say by the way. solid thigh game for me right there. a little bit of a muscle flex tough to beat off. a little bit of chest. i know there is lots of women out there watching right now, jesse. i would ask them all please don't take off your underwear and throw it at the television screen i know it's tough but that's what a real man looks like. that's cousin eddie of course. >> jesse: dylan just called. i will talk to you later. >> no, not that woman.

any woman about that. >> jesse: coming up, the government lost your money and thinks it's rude if you ask them about it. plus, how was your easter? >> easter bunny is actually kind of creepy if you ask me. >> also in charge of joe biden. >> joe biden is too hold to let someone in an easter costume control him. there are some things that go better... together. burger and fries... soup and salad. like your workplace benefits and retirement savings. with voya, considering all your financial choices together can help you make smarter decisions. voya. well planned. well invested. well protected. [sfx: stomach gurgling] it's nothing... sounds like something. ♪ when you have nausea, heartburn, indigestion, ♪ ♪ upset stomach, diarrhea. ♪ pepto bismol coats and soothes for fast relief... when you need it most.

jotion jess pentagon's budget more that china, saudi arabia, japan, south korea combined. we gave our military almost a trillion dollars a year. so where does the money go? well, the answer is we don't

know neither does the pentagon. lloyd austin number two was asked about this by comedian jon stewart and she got all frazzled, listen. >> do you feel like these are unfair questions of someone within a department of that skies and scope. >> i think you have a particular thing you really want to talk about and you are asking me other questions but i don't think it's unfair to ask me about the audit. it's absolutely the case that the united states military should be able to pass an audit and we have got to be on that pathway to get there. >> don't you think that that does speak to the larger point that we are trying to get at which is good journalism uncovers corruption? >> okay. i mean, good journalism does uncover corruption but i'm not sure these two things are linked and audit -- >> oh, but they are. >> jesse: second most powerful person in biden's defense department and she is a mess. the military almost never gets audited but, when they do, they

fail with flying colors. our military has only been audited five times ever. and just last year they failed their audited for the fifth time. the military is winless in audits and undefeated in world wars but we haven't won one of those in a while. maybe this is why. the pentagon told the irs they couldn't account for over 60% of their assets. that means weapon systems, buildings, funding, they either don't know where the money went or they don't want to know. or they do know where the money went and they don't want us to know. what would happen if you told the irs sorry, guys, i don't really know where more than half my income came from last year? it would probably go something like this. >> do you understand what an audit does and the degree it's linked to the question you are asking. >> the audit that they have in the military accident really look at whether or not there is efficacy. just whether they got delivered the thing that they ordered and.

>> that is any audit that is any audit. that is true. >> but generally those audits aren't $400 billion for rated i don't know and $1.7 trillion for a plane that doesn't seem to be doing. like there is a lot of waste, fraud and abuse within a system. >> audits and waste fraud and abuse are not the same thing. decompose. >> please educate me on the difference. >> audit is exactly what you just described which is do i know what was delivered to which place? >> right. the. >> ability to pass an audit or the fact that the did. od has not passed an audit is not subjectiv subject suggestive fraud and abuse. >> number two in the defense department not knowing where half her budget goes isn't wasteful and isn't fraud. nothing so see here? mini madoff handles money better than the pentagon. >> if i give you a billion dollars and you can't tell me what happened to it, that, to me, is wasteful. that means you are not responsible.

but if you can't tell me where it went then what am i supposed to think? and when there has been reporting. this is not -- look, i'm not saying this is on you. and that you caused this, but i think it's a tough argument. >> i'm pretty sure i didn't cause it. [laughter] >> $850 billion budgets to an organization that can't pass an audit and tell you where that money went like i think most people would consider that somewhere in the realm of waste, fraud, or abuse. because they would wonder why that money isn't well accounted for. >> jesse: we give the government almost a trillion dollars a year to keep us safe and they don't know where the money went. someone is getting rich. and we can't even stop a spy balloon? florida senator marco rubio is vice chair of the senate intelligence committee and he joins us now. senator, do you have any idea where the money goes? >> well, the general idea where they say the money goes.

we have a bringing problem in this country not just how the money something spent. we are struggling to make these things. tells you in addition to all the money that's being poured into all the military. we have a military industrial base that's completely broken. i mean, it's one of the things they haven't even told you it's become so concentrated in the hands of four or five providers. really only three or four companies in the world that do this stuff. that's been the case for years. very little competition on these contracts. they can virtually almost charge us anything they want. the issue about not having the inventory. i heard that for the first time a month and a half ago. i was stunned i couldn't believe they couldn't account apparently not the inventory of where the all the things we bought. real estate holdings, what are under the department of defense's control. it's. >> jesse: they lost track of the buildings they own. >> can you really spend a trillion dollars a year and actually do it in a way that's effective and by the way across multiple branches. not just the pentagon. all these different branches. i would say one of the key things that we need to have an answer to is not simply how the

money something spent and so forth. are we spending it -- does our needs for the country in any way reflect how the money is being spent? whatever our military strategy is, the spending has to reflect that somehow and you can't know that without transparency. >> jesse: if the chinese float like $100 balloon that's spying on us and we can't pop it. but we have a trillion dollars f-35 plane that doesn't ever get off the ground, like what good is that weapon system doing? is it just making the defense contractors rich and not keeping us safe? comes down to they approve. they put out a need. we need a need for a next generation fighter, right? they put out the bid. maybe only one or two companies respond to it and then you start building it. oftentimes in the process of developing it, they will come back and say this is going to cost more than we thought when we put that bid out. when we offered that bid. we are going to have to increase the price. if you don't fund it or pay for it. you are against national security or national defense.

part of it really comes down to the fact there is only four or five companies that do this work. without competition in any field suffer both in quality and obviously in pricing. >> jesse: it's corrupt. over the weekend china, taiwan, are we on a collision course here? it seems like everyone is getting real upset -- everyone is getting real worked up about the pacific situation. are we even going to be able to calm this thing down, senator? >> well, if we get in trouble there, apparently macron doesn't want to help us. i don't know if you read that over the weekend. he said that france and europe should walk away from the united states and save us a bunch of money by the way that thing is going to get bad. no way to finish decade without china taiwan. preacher to deal without military. have taiwan surrender. stop pretending we are not heading towards something there. i think we are. if they were to take taiwan not just about the small little island off the coast of china. that gives them effective control over all of the eastern

park or the east asia. 70% of global commerce. they could literally just shut us down. they could clamp down and close down our economy. like covid times 50. i would be a strategic major moment in world history not a good one for america. >> jesse: maybe you should be secretary of state instead of blinken. throttling into war in the pacific and blinksen is out to lunch. i will give you the last word. >> hopefully he is out to lunch somewhere in asia. that's where we need to be focused on building alliances with japan and south korea and all these country want to be helpful. japanese are very capable. australians as well. not to be us alone. all the countries have an interest there. we need to take that seriously. i'm concerned about joe biden. if i were the chinese -- if i were the chinese and joe biden is the 39, they are trying to figure out we need to could this while that guy is still there. >> jesse: i think russia thought the same thing with ukraine. senator, thank you very much. >> thanks for having me on.

>> jesse: this is what it is like to debate a democrat. >> tell us about what you guys are protesting. [whistle] >> is that how you want this to be don't have any conversation. name call people and that's it. [whistle] >> i'm happy to have conversation. >> that's it. how do you think we find out

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>> jesse: every once in a while you come across a video that perfectly explains everything. and we just found one. this is world-renowned astro aso physicist. scientist explaining why you and everybody out there shouldn't ask questions. watch. >> there's a list of top ranking medical professionals, just take a look. >> excuse me, dr. >> no, no. i want. >> consensus. i need to. >> the consensus. >> okay. i just. >> professional. because the medical is so huge i can find you an astrophysicist

who is sure we have been visited by aliens. >> the problem was. the scientific method died here and this the point i want to make it. died a death here and i need you to help me save it. because, dr. peter mccullough is the leading cardiologist. >> titles don't matter here. >> but what is should matter. >> what matters is. >> what should matter. >> consensus. i'm not interested in medical pedigree, i'm interested in medical consensus. in scientific consensus. >> scientists that were on the ground dealing with patients were being crernszed and shut down their youtube channels being shut down linkedins being shut down. >> the individual scientist does not matter. >> jesse: let me get this straight. the scientist doesn't want you to follow the scientific method because it against the scientific consensus. even if the consensus was wrong and it's not just the vaccines, the consensus did the same thing with covid. remember when fauci and company said covid came from a wet market? that lab leak theory went

against the fake consensus. if you mentioned it, you got censored and smeared as a crazy person. hey kook, the coronavirus came from a bat. definitely not the coronavirus lab around the corner. well, consensus was wrong again. according to a study, published in the nature journal, there was covid all over the wet market. but not in a single animal. they found it on a bunch of people but not a single animal in the wet market had covid. that bat was framed. now, if only we were allowed to debate this three years ago. that's the problem. the left doesn't want to debate anything. they don't want to talk. try talking to a trans protester and he you get this. >> tell us about what you guys are protesting. [whistle] >> is that how you guys want this to be just don't have any conversation? you just like name-call people and that's it. [whistle] >> because i'm happy to have conversation.

[whistle. [. >> how do you think we find a way forward if we don't have conversations? [whistle] >> jesse: it's the left strategy now. no talk all whistle. covid origins, bloop. train funding, trans. [whistle] >> it's so bad democrats made not debating a central part of their strategy. remember katie hobbs? she won the governorship? she didn't do a single debate in arizona. biden won the presidency while he hid in the basement. ask joe about trump urents hunter, the trans nashville shooter, biden just turns his back and walks away. to say do the left a favor don't question the consensus otherwise you are getting the whistle. [whistle] dana loesch. that's all they do blow the whistle, quality you crazy and

walk away. how are we ever going to move forward like that, dana. >> i don't know. but i hate whistles. i'm certain about that. the soundbite with tyson is fascinating. he would have hated somebody like galileo. consensus isn't truth. consensus isn't evidence. data is evidence. evidence is evidence. consensus isn't it. and some of the greatest things that have been accomplished in science have been done by those outside of the mainstream periphery. it just seems really antiscience for a guy who is like whole grift is about science and being like the end-all, be-all of science to say something like that. i just found it to be ill liberal and unacademic. you this is totalitarian thought. there is no debate to be had with the left. 1984 witherwell came sooner rather than later. there is no debate because they don't want to expose themselves to ridicule and to be wrong. they realize, jesse, if they

actually engage in a really genuine debate, no matter on what it is that they actually have to defend their ideas. they are not ready to do that. that's why everything is about identity politics. that's why they turn it into psychological warfare instead of a battle over better ideals. they know their ideas are bad. they know they don't work. which is why they don't defend them. instead of defending them. they want to shut down all discussion. >> jesse: i blot whistle and tell you it's time-out but you said you didn't like the sound of it. so i will let your eardrums take a rest. thanks, dana. [laughter] >> thanks, jesse. jess jeffs i will see you next week. corporate america has a secret woke scoring system that they didn't want us to find out about. but we did. ♪ allergies don't have to be scary. (screaming) defeat allergy headaches fast with new flonase headache and allergy relief! two pills relieve allergy headache pain? and the congestion that causes it! flonase headache and allergy relief.

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>> jesse: week we told you bud light transitioning no longer marketing to football fans instead made dylan the new face of the company. not going well. losing core customers. kid rock travis troy smith both

launched boycotts. this is part of the marketing strategy. here is bud light's v.p. of marketing. >> having a campaign that's truly inclusive and feels lighter and brighter and different and appeals to women and to men and representation is at sort of the heart of evolution. you have got to see people who reflect you in the work. and we have this hangover. i mean, bud light had been kind of a brand of bratty, kind of out of touch humor and it was really important that we had another approach. >> jesse: bud light is ditching what worked for them for generations because of inclusion. they think that having a trans pitch man or pitch person will keep bud light's revenues pouring in? but then "primetime" noticed something over the weekend and it started to make sense. we found out there is something called the corporate equality index. it's basically like awoke scoring system companies have to follow. who runs the corporate quality

index in the soros funded human rights campaign. they are the score keepers. an international left wing organization created awoke score card and they are keeping score at your company. here are some of the categories. your company can get up to 25 points if you support an inclusive culture like having trans bathrooms at the office. there is also a responsibility citizen category. where can you lose 25 points if your company gives money to an organization that doesn't support the pride community. like if they give to a republican or a church or if there is a chick-fil-a in your lobby. and then listen to this one. your company can receive up to 20 points for corporate social responsibility so if you market to trans consumers, 20 points, baby. even though trans consumers make up like less than 1% of the marketplace. and here's where dylan comes in. he is the new face of bud light. has marketing deals with nike, indicate spade, crest.

is he corporate america's trans ambassador getting passed around to put points on the board, basically. so these companies can look inclusive to some radical left wing international organization that hates america and us? james lindsey is a political podcaster. james. this score card why do companies care what this score is. >> this score used for a proxy esg score. you probably heard about that environmental social governance scoring. they have lots of ways to understand what do you're emissions look like. what kind of carbon do you make to put code to that e part of the score. lots of ways to measure how many woke people do you have on your corporate board to measure what you are doing in your g score. we are measuring that s score is a little harder and this cool of corporate equality index lets them put numbers behind the s score. >> jesse: so companies will send the number of trans or minority

or basically every sort of victim or whatever personality that they have, plus, they will say we have this many trans gender bathrooms or never even think about donating to the nra. and this boost their score? >> yeah. that boosts their score. but the hrc actually sends people to corporate headquarters to talk over different agenda items that they can do. that corporate responsibility that they are expected that social responsibility they are expected to meet usually includes specific demands that they have to meet in any given year. you need to advertise this way. you need to give away free products to pride activists of this sort. they have to meet certain demands every single year to get and keep that score. >> jesse: they send guys or girls to come to corporate headquarters and check under the hood? >> well, no one knows if they are sundaying guys or girls, jesse. we can't determine these kind of things any longer.

they do send people in to find out exactly what the corporations are going to be willing to do and not do. in other words, this corporate equality index works like extortion react. they know if that corporate quality index score crops they lose their seat at the table. they might get delisted off esg or other punishments massive amount in stock price. we see anheuser bush stock price gone up not down despite massive boycotts. >> jesse: oh you works it's gone up. even after kid rock shot a hole through the bud light case? >> even after shot hole in large financial firms will trillions of dollars other people's money to manipulate our market are willing to go buy that stock and make sure that stock price stays high. these corporations don't face a real risk from boycotts. they have much, much more

powerful entity that they are up against which is these large financial institution and the manipulations they are doing of the market. >> jesse: screw the consumers it's all about the woke scoring for wall street. got it. all right, james. thanks so much. that was news to us. we appreciate it. >> sure. >> jesse: coming up. does anybody even know what easter represents anymore? ♪ ♪ oh, hello! hi! do you know that every load of laundry could be worth as much as $300? really? and your clothes just keep getting more damaged the more times you wash them. downy protects fibers, doing more than detergent alone. see? this one looks brand new. saves me money? i'm starting to like downy. downy saves loads. - representative! - sorry, i didn't get that. - oh buddy! you need a hug. you also need consumer cellular. get the exact same coverage as the nation's leading carriers and 100% us based customer support. starting at $20.

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>> jesse: what's the dalai lama up to? no good. he's getting in trouble over this. watch.

you heard that right. dalai lama just asked the young boy to, quote, suck his tongue. it happened a month ago. now he is sorry. they released this. wishes to apologize to the boy and his family for the hurt his words may have caused. he often teases people. he means it in an innocent way. even in public before cameras. he regrets the incident. okay, lama. yesterday was easter. i hope everybody enjoyed spending time in church and with their family, but does everybody even know what easter is about? we sent johnny to find out. >> big holiday coming up.

how are you celebrating? >> i'm going to tennessee and l.a. >> i'll probably what do what i'm able to do. see fireworks as well. >> what holiday is it? >> i would say fourth of july. >> mother's day. >> easter, right? >> ground hog day. >> what day is this? >> february 2nd. ground hog day. >> what happened on easter? >> get out of my face. >> he rose from the dead. >> there was a lot of people throwing eggs at each other. >> i said over easy. >> what day is good friday? >> good day for humanity. >> i don't know too much about that. >> it is the day jesus died. >> rest in peace jesus.

>> he was crucified and put on the cross. >> jesus was crucified. they put him on a cross. why did they do that. >> what a stupid question that is. what a stupid question. you ask a lot of stupid questions. >> he was hanging around brothels. >> he was evil. >> it was a jealousy thing. >> jesus was sent here to pay for our sins. >> are you a sinner? what sins have you committed? >> little naughty. >> stop trying to make me love you. >> do you remember what jesus looked like? >> jesus was a short middle eastern man. >> jesus would have been a little sexy. >> kind of ripped, right? >> jesus could look like anyone you want him to look like. >> i want him to look like me. >> i want to say he looked like me. good. >> what does jesus have to do

with the easter bunny? >> i don't think they're related. >> they're cousins. >> i don't know what kind of bunny you're talking about. >> what kind of bunny are you talking about? >> playboy bunny. >> he's also in charge of joe biden. >> joe biden is too old to be in an easter costume. >> eggs are expensive now. how are we going to afford the hunt? >> time to catch up. >> go to dollar general that's a little more affordable. >> we can't afford the eggs. we have to do what we do. steal them. >> alvin bragg will let you run free. >> i agree with you on that. >> i'm glad you put your finger on that. >> joe biden wants you painting potatoes. >> i may be irish, but i'm not stupid. >> do you know who jesse waters is? >> no idea.

>> very beautiful. >> jesse waters is a guy. >> i know that. to me he's a transvestite. >> love yourself and be kind to someone. this world is wicked for real for real. y'all can post that. >> jesse: i was taken aback at church on sunday. there's a new protocol i must have missed the memo. they now hang the collection plate at the end of the big long pole and then when they walk down the aisle, they just stick the pole in your face and dangle the collection plate. i didn't even know that thing was coming. i had the cash but they just skipped me because i didn't go for it in time. could we go back to just physically passing around the collection plate? what's the rush? what's the pole?

i don't know. very confusing. maybe i just haven't been in church in awhile. let's do some text messages. kenny from ozark. you say biden has no base. that's not true. the chinese are his base. cindy from harrisburg, pennsylvania. please don't insult turtles. turtles are cute and have more of a personality than joe biden. monica from ohio. you say the basement can't save biden. i say it's the only thing that can save him. people are divided over the basement strategy. can he pull it off again? you heard what clay said. weekend at bernies 2. maryland. i have to go to ireland to find a four leaf clover. he has his opponent arrested then flies to ireland? only joe could get away with that. jeanette from naples, florida.

are we sure biden didn't stuff those classified documents in those easter eggs? they were in chinatown. sure the department of defense can't account for half of its income, but neither can the bidens. what else is new? do you know how many irs agents they put on the pentagon audit? just like a handful. but they want to hire 85,000 more for the rest of us. this thing is stacked. joe from myrtle beach. don't worry, jesse, the rest of the defense money went to buying hunter's paintings. money laundering. i think they know how to do it. did the u.s. declare the military equipment left in afghanistan as a business loss? what if they didn't put that in the right ledger, they're gonna get arrested. gary from pennsylvania. let's hope they don't give a

whistle to binder. no more, doocey, you're done. so, jesse, what did your family end up serving for easter dinner? we had steak because we went out. traditionally i'm more a lamb guy. that's it for tonight. tucker's up next. always remember i'm waters and this is my world. >> tucker: good evening and welcome to tucker carlson tonight. imagine being a historian 100 years ago trying to figure out what happens here. there's a lot of questions that are gonna puzzle you. one of the most baffling will be, how did joe biden get the nomination in 2020? 2020 was the year you will remember when we learned white people are bad and systemic racism is responsible for everything that ha