we need clear eyes about all this madness. it is all ridiculous. that is it for us tonight. thank you for watching all week fraid we've had a lot of fun in your grade site your dvr, in stay connected with us. thanks for watching and remembe it is america now and forever. greg gutfeld takes it from here. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ cheers [cheers and applause] >> the greatest show on television. i made that up. it's friday, that means let's welcome tonight's guest. her pronouns our smokey and the bandit. cohost david mcdowell.

he's not aghast we just found him sleeping in the studio. david angelo. she is so stoked hunter tried t smoker. and finally, she's cool, cool, in makes old men droll, fox new contributor kat timpf. before we get to news stories this friday, so let's do this. >> greg's leftovers. >> i would never have watermelo in the fridge. what a waste of space. i would have gwyneth paltrow's head.

leftovers where i read the joke we didn't read this week. this is my first time reading these, so if you don't laugh, i will fire somebody. good. okay. on thursday, elon musk $3 billion spacex rocket exploded during its first effor test flight. when asked what may have gone wrong, he replied we probably made a mistake christening it with light. that was a lot of work. i got a nod from david angelo. the new york department of education says complaints about inappropriate behavior from teachers have decreased by two thirds. including sexual contact with students. in other news, mail attendance is up 95 percent. a new study shows promise for treating diseases with transplants. further research is required. a government spokesman said wil

never convince americans to get untested bleeped into their bodies. >> that's good. >> i do not think you need to [bleep] that word. i think this is where we break the seal. don't [bleep] that word and the plate me. when questioned about biologica meals competing in girls ports, the bite in the ministrations ministration says they didn't want to implement a one-size-fits-all policy for student athletes, especially when it comes to jockstraps. bad memories of that, hung? last week. prosecutors have dropped charge against alec baldwin in the death of a cinematographer on his movie. he's already back on site and said he's eager to resume shooting.

the series finale of star trek picard aired this week and agap fans everything they always wanted except s forex with a real woman. a team of u.s. scientist in new mexico are experimenting with dead birds by turning them into flying drones very don't look up , you might get a battery in the eye. anheuser-busch took another hit this week when it was revealed that clydesdales are only hung like regular horses. twitter is revoked its policy against roofing ring to janet trans people by their previous names, which is great news for everybody who insists on callin me susan. that would be great.

in a new interview, the former post says he has no idea why th network fired him. or why his pants keep shrinking. new york skills will be banned from using native american mascots, but several schools sa the part was that they were given something and are now being asked not asked to give i back. and finally, the new study reveals that there are numerous mysterious health benefits to eating ice cream negating a previous study that found that eating ice cream makes you stupid. let's do some news. another bright idea from the biden ribs, crash test dummies with lead size boops.

nevermind the travel disasters are numerous, crashed test dummies have no uterus. pete buttigieg is asking congress for $20 million to develop female crash test dummies, but the way that women drive may be all crash test dummies should be female. $20 million, what would that be spent on? isn't this a normal crash test dummy? here is the modified dummy. that got $20 million, address for they say at 5 feet tall and 110 pounds, but dummies match the size of an average american woman, maybe in the 50s. but that is way different than man, i mean who would have thought, oh yeah, normal people. and the plan is already getting support that are in mayor pete party. >> we plan to make an important

investment to address the roadway safety crisis including the critical funding that would just tolerate the development o the use of e-mail dummies in crash testing. this will start to fight for gender inequity among vehicle safety and crashes. >> gender inequity amid crash safety. but why not just speak english because there is a difference according to this chart from th national highway traffic safety ministration, males make up a majority of fatalities across every age group. so which way does this gender inequity actually flow. so mayor pete are proving the point that we've been making an they don't even know it that me and women are inherently different. [applause] >> no matter how much duct tape you slap on your genitals befor the swim meet, there is still

significant differences in body rest and. how stupid are they for not seeing this. but here is hoping they will be adding trans dummy. i believe we have the prototype. at least it will know how to change a tire. in it comes with two surgically implanted airbags. >> david, david, david. here is the three x with the t tops. >> and then what is your other car? what is your sports car?

>> at 2017 volkswagen sports wagon. i would say volkswagen, get one of these things. we don't need to overcomplicate commercials. we sell razors, we get it. >> female crash test dummies, a wise investment of taxpayer dollars? >> i am so against us because there are people who like these jobs.

he get the dummies are taking the jump job jobs of the human spirit you hit the nail on the head. >> i was onto point that out pretty guy don't know why you'r selling razors. you ever thought about this before? it makes sense in a way the bod differences, but it's not gende inequity the way they define it. >> i do love the fact that they love going nuts and the liberal politicians have tried their level best to erase real women, but we artest our test feeders and birthing people, but now that we tried to revive on, the do it as inanimate manikins tha have no genitals and no reproductive organs.

in think real woman can do this instead of the manikins we suffering from chronic pain at the age of 13. >> this is obviously in absurd hypothesis. people that volunteer for a medical studies that there is afflicted sebo group and a non- placebo group. i don't want. >> in trouble. kennedy, isn't this amazing tha this story could exist independently while they put down title ix? >> it's the best thing i've eve seen. number one if title ix mcbain away, i'm fine with it because ucla will once again have a men's gymnastics team and men's swim team. you don't have that because of

title ix. there are a lot of programs in the country nonexistent because of that and now that gender is nearly as suggestion. you are seeing this all wrong part it's not about the democra standing up for women, this is about pete buttigieg hating women so much he wants to put them in cars and annihilate them . i mean this is misogyny, the patriarchy is real. and he is their president. >> i can't help, but wonder where are the dummies that reflect race, right, where are the black dummies? i mean the actual manikin like with a different skin color jus we know everybody is included. know? you haven't thought about a heavier? >> i also feel like that meal crash test dummies represent my body quite well.

the amount of things they can figure out new ways to spend money it's amazing. i want to know how this happened . what was going on in this meeting? they're sitting around near their like you know what, crash test dummies. your right, okay. let's spend $20 million on that. i wanted tell you where does this $20 million go? give me two balloons and some duct tape and i can handle it. i don't understand. this house to be something else really, i mean i don't understand how that cost $20 million. >> what are they covering up? it is great. >> look at the crash test dummies behind you. it scott boobies men are the new women, icemelt

this is just a bunch of guys sitting around the room and talking about jugs. elemental p. >> and the like we're going to want to see these dummies first to see what they give them. it could be weird. little input, a little output. >> but you are a pervert. up next, the vote that proved that the gop respects biologica sex. weeds... they have you surrounded. take your lawn back with scotts turf builder triple action! gets three jobs done at once - kills weeds. prevents crabgrass.

and keeps it growing strong. get a bag of scotts triple action today, it's guaranteed. feed your lawn. feed it.

i'm gonna pull over and stretch my legs. i think you were supposed to keep left there. hmm? what is this place? the other side of the rest stop. bundles as far as the eye can see. if you're looking for a first mate, i know a guy. me. i'm the guy. is this oak? [ sniffs ] four types of jerky. this is where i live now. you could save a ton with progressive by bundling your boat or rv with your home and auto. hey, guys! free bags! they're just giving them away! hi, i'm tony hawk, and like many of you, i take a statin to reduce cholesterol, but statins can also deplete coq10 levels. that's why my doctor recommended qunol coq10. qunol has the number one

cardiologist recommended form of coq10. qunol. the brand i trust. before... and bath fitter. now's the time to call bath fitter to get a beautiful “after.” with our unique tub over tub process, there's no mess or stress. bath fitter. it just fits. visit bathfitter.com to book your free consultation.

♪ >> it looks like the house supports saving women's sports, so they gop reps lower the boom on who's allowed in the girls locker room. the house of reps banned and trans athletes from competing i women's sports, but they can compete in jar opening, and. >> leo thomas said it felt like she'd been kicked in the balls. >> the legislation championed b republican lawmakers and anybod who isn't brain-dead would prohibit biological men from playing on girls team. that bill aims to redefine as something that is solely based on a person's reproductive

biology and genetics at birth replacing the definition of sex is something david angelo does twice a year. >> if i'm lucky. >> and schools decide to let me participate in they will lose federal funding, the nyc of course it is defined differentl as someone to be shared between a teacher and a student. no surprise the bill received zero yes votes and it's unlikel to pass the democrat-controlled senate and the white house and said they would be to it assuming they can keep joe can' just long enough to do it. although the bill would ban men from playing against girls, it won't affect men competing in wet t-shirt contests as long as they've got the rack for it. so this actually has a weird wa of proving that binary is him i

just built into our system that no matter how absurd an issue is , there is going to be two sides to it. for example, the republicans as a woman has a uterus, you got the entire group of democrats say no, it's not, it's weird like how everything has to be binary with these people. why can't somebody say you know what, you're making us look lik idiots. >> it not one democrat and some of that caterwauling from the left was more absurd than even could comprehend. there was one democrat who said this debate has traumatized trans kids. no, you have traumatized kids b even telling them about it. as traumatic as organized competitive team sports in children for children, the focu on sports, you know what, tag i

fun when you are five, but not running around on the soccer field with a bunch of helicopte deranged dads screaming at little kids score, scores, scor slam! >> too much focus on sports for kids. i couldn't hit the size of a bu with a baseball bat when i was kid. rights,. >> i was babbitt ski well. >> and no, you can strike out i ski ball? >> what are your thoughts? >> look, i think that it's gotten a little absurd the overuse of the trans phobia to call people out because i think you have one life to live, whatever makes you happy, do it if you were a ban or for an emm and living as a woman makes you

happy, fine. having an issue with that isn't the same missing if you go through male puberty, your body is going to be different than someone who was born female. you might be better in the pool due to your bone structure bein different, that is just scientific. to equate that to being someone who hates trans people or is trans phobic, it has completely made the debate about something it shouldn't be that is stoppin us from having a real debate at all because it's just the extreme and people assume that someone thinks an extreme if they have a question based on science. a lot of these athletic organization have set limits on this. out all of these just overruns with trans phobic, or is there may be something to the biological difference if you're born one gender versus the othe or onesex versus the other parade this reverses the initia belief to protect women, now it says women in the democratic

party are say were not going to protect women, but also bringin up, whenever there is an argument they bring up trans kids. you're trying to figure out exactly what, a trans kid isn't a trans kid until they make the one. you know? >> i disagree with that the little bit because i think ther is such a thing as gender dysmorphia and i recently lunch with kaitlyn jenner and we had great time, and who did? >> i did. >> well then he is a woman. [cheers and applause] >> we had an interesting conversation about gender dysmorphia, there's there is also a real difference between s sex an gender and i'm glad tha some, but he wants to quantify that. there are advantages you get when you go through puberty as mel. if you're not going to protect women, then if i were out

women's volleyball coach at a college, i would just be lookin for dudes in pink and may be like that here he styles and guys in pearls and say hey, hav you ever thought about a d1 scholarship. everything's going to be paid for we just need some dudes, some people on the front line who can spike the living daylights out of a ball and you get college paid for a. >> we're a guy, i would absolutely do that. >> guy can get into the college of the he declares himself non- binary and get a scholarship to play volleyball. at a women's college. >> wait to come up with a trans phobic movie. >> i will only cast trans children are at. >> when you eat say cast you mean cast a spell on them. >> , david?

a question razor sponsored any sports teams, have you shaven any athletes? i will have to really rack my brain on that one. >> it's been so long. >> gees, on the record this week ? no, well, this is a great third rail topic, but i'll tell you, guess i disagree though, sometimes you need a biological male superior and sports just like when i was in gym class, w would pick teams and i was not picked before most of the women and i can tell you right now, i want to dispel some of that. >> will that says a lot about you as an individual, but you'r right, people are different, yo were uncoordinated, probably in

poor health, probably trembling. >> a very sickly child perky i can imagine you being picked last for almost everything. you said you're still single, right? >> no, but. to give the other thing is the republicans, this isn't going t be. it's kind of like the country i imploding in a lot of different ways. >> may be its port price for it but the governing bodies need t stand up and protect female athletes. otherwise in gymnastics, simone biles does really impressive stuffer women's gymnastics, and your friend will tell you that that is wrote, that is very bag basic in men's gymnastics so an it's an individual sport as wel as a team sport if you can get more points with biological males, then why wouldn't you select that parade the

individual sports whether it's swimming, gymnastics, who cares they are the ones who have to decide if that community if the don't care, that's there decide pair, but they have to grow a pair as it were in make some of the tough decisions very. >> we have to move on. up next, they doubled their chances when it comes to romances. we depend on each other a lot. she's the rock of the family. she's the person who holds everything together.

♪ it's a battle, you know i'm going to be there. keytruda and chemotherapy meant treating my cancer with two different types of medicine. in a clinical trial, keytruda and chemotherapy was proven to help people live longer than chemotherapy alone. keytruda is used to treat more patients with advanced lung cancer than any other immunotherapy. keytruda may be used with certain chemotherapies as your first treatment if you have advanced nonsquamous, non-small cell lung cancer and you do not have an abnormal “egfr” or “alk” gene. keytruda can cause your immune system to attack healthy parts of your body during or after treatment. this may be severe and lead to death. see your doctor right away if you have cough, shortness of breath, chest pain, diarrhea, severe stomach pain, severe nausea or vomiting, headache, light sensitivity, eye problems, irregular heartbeat, extreme tiredness, constipation, dizziness or fainting, changes in appetite, thirst, or urine, confusion, memory problems, muscle pain or weakness, fever, rash, itching, or flushing. there may be other side effects.

tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, if you've had or plan to have an organ or stem cell transplant, received chest radiation, or have a nervous system problem. it feels good to be here for them. living longer is possible. it's tru. keytruda from merck. ask your doctor about keytruda.

♪ >> do women get their kicks fro

dating other tics? or is all the lgbt praise leading women to go both ways? a new analysis of data shows jens he women those born after 1997 are identifying as bisexua in record numbers. when asked what's driving them away from heterosexuality they mention only one factor, [cheers and applause] he is going to hear about that on monday. it's estimated between 19 and 2 to percent of women aged 18-25 now go both ways it's hard to believe when there's so many manly men to choose from. but it's not just bisexuality almost 20 percent jens he broadly identify as lgbtq, so everybody is more now in the

reasons are unclear personally brame the bravo network. we're all these young ladies were all the following the ages trend when everyone fell head over heels over this young heartthrob. but that past as well. do they just want the benefits that our siding with an unconventional identity, and di social media convince an entire tik tok convince kids that i'd pods were important partner breakfast for the older you are the numbers drop very take gen x , we're only 3 percent identify as lgbtq. they are more likely to identif as lgbt e.

let's go to bed early. it doesn't matter who is in bed with you as long as they where they sleep apnea mask. kat, i have a concern about stolen valor, these are people that say they are something whe they're not there for they are kind of defusing the actual meaning of the word. do you think that is happening here? >> i do. i think it is happening here because sometimes someone will say i'm bisexual and that means i'm like what you mean by that and they say i believe i think women are pretty. yeah, i definitely think there is something to this. i also think there are real incentives to identify a certai way including with jobs. well now, tell me who you like to bang now. because we need to fill up our lgbtq quotient.

that is so creepy. you didn't get the job, but you just weren't banging the right people, like okay, harvey weinstein. that's not progressive, it's creepy. >> and even worse, the people that didn't give you the job they now know something about you. david? it sounds like these ladies could use some razors. >> we all could, you know? the whole rainbow spectrum. >> you could sell them from you vw golf and that spacious backseat of your spread. >> you get 40 percent on cargo, greg. it's just logical. i don't know. i don't know. i tell you, i identify as pansexual, i will have sex wit anybody who does the dishes.

that is so funny, and obvious since that joke should've been eight years ago. kennedy, what you make of this? i think people are incentivized to identify as something nonconventional because you get attention for a. >> you are kind of pressure too because having two teenagers in my home, they talk about their experiences in school and they have pride week is a bigger wee then christmas or hanukkah. it's massive, and it's so borin to be normal. to be a heterosexual person and everybody wants to be special. i think that's where it starts and that's why they talk to kid about about it because they are developing their identity and i is so suggestible. there is an element of suggestibility to it, but also, it's not a stigmatized. if you when we were in high

school, if you were gay, you go beat up red. >> i have idea about the male, when you have the stowed up. it is the female stuff. here not really half and half, it's just i'm basically a scotc drinker. i am saying that is, nevermind. to get my mother always said that was just being greedy. it's just one of the other. but i don't know if that will land or not. she's dead, so you can't counse her. >> we could try. >> where is she. , by the way? >> can you dim the lights and put some before i say that. back in the day, since time immemorial, girlfriends at a

young age, we were safe with each other. we experimented and learn thing from each other and we didn't put the label on it because again your girlfriends keep you secrets and you let some boy in town touch you over your sweatshirt and all of a sudden, you are the county whore. so the person i ever kissed wa girl in my neighborhood before ever kissed a boy coming today, she is still hot and he is in prison. >> and it's weird because he no identifies as a woman which makes you a. >> which i am a-ok with. >> a band, courtesy of the mailman.

the chase ink business premier card is made for people like sam who make...? ...everyday products... ...designed smarter. like a smart coffee grinder - that orders fresh beans for you. oh, genius! for more breakthroughs like that... ...i need a breakthrough card... like ours! with 2.5% cash back on purchases of $5,000 or more... plus unlimited 2% cash back on all other purchases! and with greater spending potential, sam can keep making smart ideas... ...a brilliant reality! the ink business premier card from chase for business. make more of what's yours.

to finally lose 80 pounds and keep it off with golo is amazing. i've been maintaining. the weight is gone and it's never coming back. with golo, i've not only kept off the weight but i'm happier, i'm healthier, and i have a new lease on life. golo is the only thing that will let you lose weight and keep it off.

who loses 138 pounds in nine months? i did! golo's a lifestyle change and you make the change and it stays off. (soft music)

>> you are watching mailing it in. your right, i read and then we go scuba diving in lava. here we go. leo asks, what unsolicited advice do you always feel compelled to offer. david? >> i always say get yourself a good razor. you know. >> white event not see that coming? >> punctuation. >> really? because somebody sends me an e-mail or a text with bad punctuation in it, i always tel them.

>> period. >> . >> aisleways tell people to wea sunscreen. i also give a lot of birthing advice to pregnant people in th building. >> you're wrong. >> you're preventing them from getting natural vitamin d. you are killing people. ticket not with the sunscreen. >> did you give unsolicited advice? usually it's about how to deal with you. ahead of time and very difficul birth. >> i don't give unsolicited advice, i just ask people, am i okay, are you mad at me? i don't know, by my book. >> i don't give unsolicited advice, but i want to about weights. i feel like somebody needs to start talking about america's weight problem, but maybe it

shouldn't be me. i found around straight weight wise, i've been big, i been small, but every time i bring u weight, people get very upset s i won't. you need to lose some weight, kat. her arms are just disgusting. >> flabby. >> is there someone in your lif that screwed you over, but now you are grateful to them for your current act in life? >> dozens. >> doesn't? >> every man that i dated in my 20s, the content they provided me, i would be nowhere without a . >> you use them as little skipping stones, steppingstones. know, i've literally wrote abou them in my book and sold a bunc of them. >> that's good, kennedy? >> i had a really mean boss in

between mtv and fox and i thought my career was over and it was a woman and she was very demoralizing and it turned out everything she tomita do i did the opposite end that's when i had a second phase in my career so thank you. >> all name names. i was working on a golf course in colorado and i was driving his car and glenn frey looked a me and was asking me how much m rent was and he said we don't pay the help enough around here do we? and i was like that sop, and i moved back east and moved to ne york within a few days of that. so thank you. >> and, the thing that we never quite figured out is that when you moved, glenn frey mysteriously died. >> writes.

>> 's still haven't, but it sai natural causes. where their stab wounds? what did he feel on a fall on a pincushion i don't understand, david, how about you? >> there was a gentleman on the subway that took his pants off, and that's got me into walking more. a little help here. a little help here. >> that is good. that is good. i would say the person who fire me in men's health, they got me over here. you hate the person but that ends up being am so glad that somebody fired me. up next to the environment displeased mcbain after boston's suvs.

icy hot pro.

as someone living with type 2 diabetes, i want to keep it real and talk about some risks. with type 2 diabetes you have up to 4 times greater risk of stroke, heart attack, or death. even at your a1c goal, you're still at risk ...which if ignored could bring you here... ...may put you in one of those... ...or even worse. too much? that's the point. get real about your risks and do something about it. talk to your health care provider about ways to lower your risk of stroke, heart attack, or death. learn more at getrealaboutdiabetes.com our customers don't do what they do for likes or followers. their path isn't for the casually curious.

and that's what makes it matter the most when they find it. the exact thing that can change the world. some say it's what they were born to do... it's what they live to do... trinet serves small and medium sized businesses... so they can do more of what matters. benefits. payroll. compliance. trinet. people matter.

♪ >> a story in five words. >> five words, apostate climate freaks slashed tires. the slashed the tires of 43 suvs . and fancy boston neighborhood. they left a note senior gas guzzler kills. does this convince you to care more about the tight climate kraska gate no, it convinces me that cowards go only go to someplace i would like to see them do that in tennessee or

texas, how about it, that would be fun? piggies or they do it in urban settings where cops are too bus they're not going to arrest the they're just going to especiall in new york or in massachusetts brickey he do it in talladega this weekend, they didn't even they didn't even slashed the tires, they let the air out, if you/the tire, what you do is yo need to go for the sidewall and you go poke like that and you can't fix it because you're not doing it on the tread, you're doing it on the sidewall. that's how you slashed attire like a psycho. >> i think we solve the mystery of the stiletto killing. the eagles will be calling you shortly. david, our your razors sharp enough to slashed tires?

>> you really wouldn't cut yourself using it. and it's just part of that made in america thing. you know, i have heard of wanting to fight inflation, but this is ridiculous. greg i'm telling you, the owner of those cars they've they been forced to retirement. all good good faith that you built up wind out the window. >> i always want to go back to zero. >> i love that, leave the room on a downer as opposed to an appropriate what if these peopl were doctors and they had. >> to the hospital to operate o children. >> probably uber. the thing about tires, it's not like when there slashed the nea car is just done you get anothe tire so it's not like people

aren't going to continue to drive so they're not really getting new tires which is wasting the old tire so they di more harm got that good. >> in fact, have you seen where they leave tires and these tires , would you call those places, the big giant giant dum heard the tire dump? they're huge, it's ugly, it smells when they set them on fire. why am i telling you this? may be to save you some time yo don't have to go check it out. okay, i went down on the downer. i feel great, man. this is how david angelo feels, oh god. we'll be right back.

oh booking.com, ♪ i'm going to somewhere, anywhere. ♪ ♪ a beach house, a treehouse, ♪ ♪ honestly i don't care ♪ find the perfect vacation rental for you booking.com, booking. yeah. weeds... they have you surrounded. take your lawn back with scotts turf builder triple action! gets three jobs done at once - kills weeds. prevents crabgrass. and keeps it growing strong. get a bag of scotts triple action today, it's guaranteed. feed your lawn. feed it.

♪ good boy. adt professionals customize and install systems featuring google nest products for any kind of home. what do you think? you're all set. when the most trusted name in home security adds the intelligence of google, you have a home with no worries. brought to you by adt.

ha-ha! it was me the whole time. -whoo-hoo! -[ laughs ] well done, ma'am. what...did i do exactly? with snapshot from progressive, you get a personalized discount for doing exactly what you're already doing -- being a safe driver. congratulations. this is a bowling trophy. yeah, it's the biggest one they had.

okay, thanks. mm-hmm. oh. have a good one. that's it, our studio audience. [applause] >> good evening, welcome to america's late news, fox news @night. i am a skilled jerk -- gallagher in los angeles. breaking site the supreme court has walked a lower court restriction on a popular abortion pill. but that does not mean the legal fight over access to mifepristone is over. just fall is live with what this means and what it might change ago good evening pretty good evening, tracy. with the high court's ruling who had access to mifepristone will continue t to, at least for now. but as this case now reroutes to a lower court once again, this is far