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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 16, 2023 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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he helped supreme court justices, stay at home moms. we were on a group chat 5:30 a.m. few hours before he died. he was in fine form. even funny. he loved his family and loved his country. we're all going to miss you. ♪ ♪ [ applause ] >> hi. i'm tyrese cooper.
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360. i know you're upset. rightfully so. you just saw the durham report. which proved that there was no evidence to support any investigation with russian collusion and trump. the feeling it's like being neutered. speaking of being neutered. greg is off tonight because he's taking his dog to be snipped. sorry, gus. better you then me. yeah, the durham report. you're asking, how did this happen? i wouldn't blame you if you never watched cnn or msnbc again. judging by the ratings, you're not. [ laughter ] because you're pissessed. we've been bamboozled. we've been had. it's like they sent you a picture of scarlett johansson, when you went to me for dinner
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was anna navarro. it was years wasting taxpayers millions of dollars investigating something that was all i don't know how they say it, [ bleep ]. how did this all start? when saw trump speaking, we saw a guy speaking for the common man. challenging the establishment. we liked it. this is what the liberals saw. [ laughter ] oh, yeah, this my show tonight. so we hurt their little feelers. the left and the media had to break how the tissues.
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i think toilet paper would be way better. they're all full of [ bleep ]. durham's investigation was based on facts. not feelings. remember everyday there was some breaking news how the president was a russian agent. it was how they put it, worse than watergate >> this is far worse than watergate. why it's worse -- this is some ways worse than watergates. >> he was right! this was worse than watergate. the bad actors weren't for the trump administration. remember this?
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>> michael flynn promised full conversation to the mueller team. he goes to jail! lock him up! >> even when their story start to fall apart, they kept it going. they pretended their camera phone was broken and that's why they couldn't face time you america. you saw the documentary. who was the cat fish. they wanted us to believe it was a big redhead going around and ruin the world and do all kinds of bad things to us. turnous the cat fish -- hey, we don't boo here. for this one time, you may boo. back to being nice.
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look, if the pantsuit fits. hillary clinton, you owe russia an apology. there should be an apology tour for lying to the american people and ruining two years of trump's presidency and affecting the election with russiagate, and fake dossier. it was the democrats telling it was rain. what jim norton called the $40 special. [ laughter ] don't expect a retraction or apology. they are already doubling down. >> this is a predictable, sad ending to an investigation that never should have taken place. >> durham is a kind of pathetic character >> he copy and pasted from the
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report. >> the whole thing is predicated like a rabbit hole conspiracy. >> there's nothing new here. we knew this was never a legitimate investigation. >> what you have with john durhamdudurham, big fat nothing. >> they will change the false narrative and say he's a white supremacist, just like rick james on charlie murphy's couch, he put his muddy shoes all over saying bleep your course [ bleep ] your feelings. at the dinner party, hollered out, no one goes in there. he dropped the steve doocy.
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he exposed the swamp. they conspired to get his ass out of office. i'm not a rocket surgeon. that looks pretty rigged to me. [ applause ] let's welcome tonight's guests. threes a crowd. according to his ticket sales, comedian joe devito. out kick host only four letter word not in his act is hair. comedian and co-host of one and only jim norton.
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she goes by cat and you should go by her new book. this is the part where greg would say something mean. "new york times" best seller cat tim charlie, welcome to the show. we started this hot hire tonight. do you think that trump is vindicated or is there a lot more? >> he's absolutely exonerated. jake tapper was forced to admit it. there's so many outrageous aspects what we just discovered with the durham report. there was no basis for it in the first place. now that the findings have been
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released. liberals are doing everything possible to try and de-legitimatize the findings. they say there wasn't a whole slew of indictments. this actually isn't legit. we all know the swamp protects its own. there's couple of really important things to focus on here. former fbi director jame comey was not interviewed in the other is the timing of the report. six months after the midterms. >> that's a long time. speaking of cat fish. have you ever been cat fish? >> i'm pretty sure it's a russian bot. it's going well. >> good for you. do you think that calling this a cat fish is a accurate
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description to the american people? >> it's a weird magic trick. they took fake scandal and they -- with real messages showing he was pedaling his family's influence. that's the one they suppressed. i neverred up that donald trump supposessed to be a russian spy. hillary clinton still saying the 2016 election was stolen. no one calling her an election denier. >> well, no one talks to her either. cat, as a libertarian, this got to grind your gear.
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>> it's nice to have company criticizing the fbi. finally, i'm like, oh, republicans all right. i'm just thinking how will this be talked about in history books. by mean that lit literally. it's not like a big offense of obama. ty feel like trump will be better at revenge than that. i think that it has to be at this point the most expensive rumor in the history of rumors. >> millions of dollars. >> the pretaped rumor and then the investigation. >> there's going to be another investigation of the
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investigation. that much i'm sure. whole slew of investigations. timing is everything. it is kind of weird that hunter was -- it was supposed to be an indictment. now it's become to 24-7 trump again. >> i have to correct your common d-- i think so. hunter biden, if i was the president's son, i would probably behave a lot more like him -- i don't know why these people don't get along. they are all the same.
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>> i think the biggest thing. i don't think they can't share. there can only be one. there they blame other people for what other people do. have you ever been in. gas lighting, of course, all the time. >> what you're describing is in my relationship. something happens see does 2. floor cyst world we live in. i got a big announcement. my new book comes out in november and it's now available for preorder.
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>> so kind. will another beer maker go broke because they want to be woke? yep. miller light's march ad campaign celebrating women's history month is causing backlash online. about the only it's not causing sales. the ad attempts to overhaul the company's image. one miller feels has been on
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objecting women too long. roll it, mike. >> women were among the very first to brew beer ever. centuries later, how did the industry pay homage, they put us in bikinis. look at this. wild. it's time beer it and to women. miller light is on a mission. >> yikes. i guess the good news is, it was an actual woman. [ applause ] i get it. >> that's so inaccurate.
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>> that's true. if miller lite was any more out of touch, they start celebrating 18th century and the 16th amendment. beer drinkers hate the income tax. that was for you, cat. it appears miller has tried to down play it by following the bud light fiasco with dylan mulvaney. they are removing or unlisting it from any of their social media channels. still a spokesperson for miller's parent company saying, nothing about the ad should be remotely controversial and we hope beer drinkers can appreciate the humor and ridiculousness of the video back in march. please, believe us. he would have said more but hest busy working on his resume.
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[ applause ] cat, who is this campaign even for? >> i didn't find anything offensive by it. i'm not bothered by it. i am confused by alcohol companies trying to make these ads to make you think. they are missing the whole selling point of alcohol. you drink to stop thinking. you never like told your friend, i got so drunk, i made this horrible decision. it's whatever. but also, it's beer. you're drinking it because you had too much alcohol to drink. you trying to slow it down without completely stopping. i just did an ad for you guys. >> you know what, miller needs
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to call you. >> they are doing this to get women to drink miller. they trying to appeal to women. the same with the dylan mulvaney thing. how about drunk driving deaths. >> i was going to go to you. >> no, come right to me. speaking of which, i feel for the young boys out who picked up their latest copy of sports illustrated swim suit edition. found themselves getting excited over a man. it's unfortunate. >> once or twice. >> to me, this whole thing is outrageous. you look at pamela anderson, she was one of the most famous spoke
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women wearing her diplomat bikini. she's 55 years old. cleavage all out. she is still embracing the same image. >> is it -- >> the fact that you find me attractive. thank you so much. >> joe, have you ever ob objectified a woman?
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>> never. >> that has never happened. >> i don't understand this new marketing strategy of insulting your core demographic. i don't understand. they said, don't take it seriously. it was so unfunny. it was lame. when they said, they should have said that and showed the rest of the little thing. >> they should have just let her keep walking and stayed on the bikinis. >> as long as they pabst beer
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alone, -- >> i drink lot of domestic light beer. by posted so many picture of michelob ultra. they didn't call me once. >> she's royalty. taste great, less filling. up next, they are shutting down the milk, that's brown. [ applause ]
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every day can be extraordinary with rich, creamy, delicious fage total yogurt. >> just so much love. going back to work now. it may soon be against the rules to have chocolate milk in educational institutions. i'm not rhyming. the federal government is considering banning chocolate milk from elementary and middle schools because of the high sugar content. on the bright side, it's refreshing to see the feds focused on something besides pronouns. some teachers are concerned because sugar is what gives kids
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plenty of energy for sex. [ laughter ] take a second on that one. i'm going to miss you guys. soon the only sugar in schools will be name of the drag queen realing stories to -- reading stories to your kids. remember me as i i was. not how i will be. a ban on only chocolate milk sounds racist to me. regular milk is fine. that's white supremacy and white privilege. obesity is a huge issue. if you're going to go out, go out. is this really what the government should be focusing on when we know the best solution
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is completely tax free, bullying. [ applause ] after a full day of terrorizing the playground, you've earned that refreshing half pint of chocolate goodness. questions for anyone who wants to participate. kat, find this shocking that they are going after chocolate milk? >> i find it shocking the things people do all day for work. especially in the government. you know what, chocolate milk got lot of sugar in it. shouldn't give that to kids. this was probably an eight hour seminar. they all had lunch. it's okay, yeah, it has lot of sugar in it. it's not like some kid out there just one chocolate oly -- milk y
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from obesity. that's not how it works. if you can have chocolate milk u probably eating lot of candy at home. it's a more comprehensive thing. i will predict that will not making a meaningful difference if it happens. >> no, it will not. the whole thing is like, you don't really need lot of dairy. when i was in school, we had chocolate milk, like friday. like a special treat for making it through the week. everybody got a chocolate milk. when you think. this, they never go to the root problem. they never talk about fitness or moderation. we got to get rid of one thing. from the same government who said frosty mini wheats is on the food pyramid. >> exactly. they showed a lunch tray when they were doing story about the chocolate milk. on that plate was chicken
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nuggets which was processed and chemical laiden. there was a cup sitting in high fructose corn syrup. to me chocolate milk was probably the healthiest thing on the tray. >> chocolate milk. >> as she just laid it out, you and i are going to play this out. chicken nuggets get to stay. when you open it up,ing hope it's white meat. the white bun gets to stay. but the chocolate milk got to go?
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>> what children really need is not shock milk. -- chocolate milk. >> actually, you get different nationalities. >> it's not the sugar that's added to chocolate milk. it's skim milk. they should blame their own food pyramid. you look at that horrible tray lunch with all these weird processed oatmeal things. it's because the government interfered eating and drinking natural foods.
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the damage has been long before that. >> i'm already in trouble. i'm going to go down with the ship. what do you think the cut off age is for breast-feeding? [ laughter ] >> it all depends on what my budget is. [ laughter ] i think it's funny to watch they are trying to get the needs of kids to be healthy. in new york they do it. in d.c. and san francisco, which is so funny they want the kids grow up in really in shape junkies. >> keep the chocolate milk. bring back p.e. bring back sports. >> what an idea. [ laughter ] >> find those allied gym
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teachers. >> only exercise they are getting is beating up their teachers. >> or what we talked about earlier. that too. i was talking about having -- before we go, i literally won't be on the road all summer long coming to a town near you. this friday i'm in gulf shores, alabama, and clovis, california july 20th. coming up, will movie fans say no thanks to a digital tom hanks? [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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speaking of actors, actors don't have to lose their charm after they bought the cemetery. tom hanks says artificial intelligence will keep him in the movie business long after he's dead. you saw what i just did. sorry. putting dead guys on camera, was the idea first pioneered by the government. [ laughter ] hanks say this is the way of the future. >> i could get together and pitch a series of seven movies that would star me in them in which i would be 32 years old.
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i could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that's it. but my performances can go on and on. >> speaks lot slower. i think i speak for all americans when i say tom hanks leave the stupid bus alone. don't step in front of a bus. look, i do look forward to the day when they'll be able to make hanks look like a woman again. joe, did you see -- >> i feel compelled to watch now. >> it's good time. >> check it out. two struggling guys who can't find a job, they decided to dress up like women to get a job. >> are you pitching a buddy thing here. >> or at least a bud light
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commercial. do you like the fact that you'll probably never get a job again? >> it's a pretty weird thing that tom hanks seems to be waving good-bye from acting saying all the roles will be done by ai now. it's a way for hollywood to keep the actors seem young all the time. now they just use technology. i don't think it's a good idea. it shows how actors are easy to replace. >> can they do that with news anchors? >> absolutely. we'll all be out of of job soon. i'm curious what version they bring for all of purpose do we get to choose? tom hanks said, 32 years old kingdom come.
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>> kat, what version of you will you want them to do ai >> i think i look better everyday. [ laughter ] i don't think i'm going to ever become replaced. if it's just ai, then you're -- it's not you doing it. we keep thinking of it how people would like to hate other people. it wouldn't be the same. if it was an ai version of me, who would people call a [ bleep ]. >> they would have to get ai of a heckler. >> the hate keeps people alive. >> you think they can do ai comedians? >> i hope so. i would love it if i didn't have to audition for an acting job. this is tom hanks. shut up tom. when you die, we'll be okay with
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it. bi like tom hanks. nobody cares. clark gable died 65 years ago. i like tom hanks. when he dies, i won't ever think about him again. >> would you be ai yourself. what way? would you make advancements? would how add some hype. >> i've been waiting for laser eye sight for a while. they say the technology is there. if you saw the irishman there's a scene where he beats up a
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shopkeeper. he's so clearly an old man. i don't think the technology is there. i don't know what digital tom hanks would look like. >> that was long. >> this could be helpful for actors where they have to put on significant weight for a role. like brendan phraser in "the whale." that can be the easier route. >> what if they trademark you. >> you can't do it for comedians. most comics don't like ourselves. northeast stand -- >> he's right. we hate ourselves.
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>> drunk drivers switches with dog. kat i heard about man's best friend. this is ridiculous. is there any situation that you would have him take the fall for you? i know he's a cat. we know gus wouldn't do it. >> cheese doesn't drink. everybody knows that. the cop will be like, that's cheese. he doesn't drink. i never been this drunk. he only did it because he thought it was going to work. that is drunk. >> that goes back to your whole thing that beer doesn't make you think. >> let me get drunk and then make it. >> this guy is the best. the cop said have you been drinking? then the guy ran. i love this guy's confidence.
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he couldn't believe the cop questioned his sobriety. only thing that can make me happier if the dog really was driving. >> or the dog was really drunk. is there any situation where you would consider blaming a pet for your actions? >> my dog would never accept that. i have the biggest diva of a dog in the world. she would talk back to me. it would never work. [ laughter ] >> wow. >> i think this is great. a cat would -- if you got pulled over, the cat would immediately flee and live you with a bag of nip on the seat. i don't think the guy was drunk. i think he was blind. that's why he had the dog drive. that was a seeing eye dog. what are they going to do, give the dog a breathalyzer. >> i love that the cop was
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watching the whole thing. can you imagine from the cop standpoint and seeing this transpire. it has to be up there in the topmost insane thing he's seen. >> do you think he went like -- do you think he put the seat belt on the dog? [ laughter ] adjusted the seat so clearly, the dog was driving. >> it would have been more. he would have gotten away when he pulled over the dog. if he would have been driving his head out the window. >> sir, i'm drunk but the coke is dog. >> when is his court date? >> i love that his exit strategy was run away. >> but leave your dog? >> blaming your pet is something we all do.
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>> final thoughts? jim? >> if you want to come see me do stand-up this saturday i'll be in the wellmont theater in montclair, new jersey. the comedy austin ship in austin, texas. my act is dirty. >> speaking of dirty, joe? >> this weekend, the 19th and 20th, i'll be in uncle vinny's in new jersey. next weekend, levity live in west nyack with dave and michael who we have on the show and jund only joe mackie at west side comedy club here in new york city. >> sweet! >> i've been trying to think of
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things i can blame on my dog when i get home. >> thanks. >> that's it. >> thanks, actually. thanks to my guests and our studio audience. fox news @ night with trace gallagher is next. i'm tyrus o behalf of greg gutfield, tom, gene and the wh--jean and the whole staff, we love you, america. >> trace: good evening, welcome to fox news @ night, i'm trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking news into the investigation into hunter biden's taxes. fox news obtained a letter from attorneys from an irs whistle-blower accusing the government of retaliation by removing the whistle-blower and his entire team from the hunter biden probe. the chief correspondent jonathan hunt is live with the breaking information on this. jonathan, good evening. >> reporter: good evening to you, trace. much of the back story on this is still unclear

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