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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  June 16, 2023 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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ingraham. also, check out my podcast i have with my podcast from the kitchen table, father's day drops tonight starring yours truly. thanks for watching "the ingrahm angle," gutfeld starts right now. >> yeah. all right. very good. all right. my goodness, i'm getting scared. please don't ravage me. all right, it's friday, you know what that means, we film the killing a random audience member. check
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under your chairs. i'm kidding, that's monday of the let's welcome tonight's guests. she is an independent voter, who says the kennedy podcast, kennedy. he brings florida heat to his congressional seat. florida congressman byron donnel. she is like a blow drier full of hot air and usually in the bathroom. contributor kat timpf. and finally, psychic in tyrus. it's hot in here. all right. so, before we get to some new stories, you know it's friday. so, that's when we do this. >> greg's leftovers.
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>> yeah, it's leftovers, i read the jokes we didn't use this week. as always it's my first time reading these, if they suck don't blame me, blame joe mc kay. one of our writers. pudgy, pale and sad joe mc kay. sorry. wow. here we go. the white house has banned a transgender activist for flashing their breasts during a pride event. president biden initially had no comment as to the exposed breasts, he had to restrain hunter biden from sticking a dollar bill between them. i know where this is going. at his 46th birthday bash, kanye west served sushi off the bodies of naked women. worse i'm pretty sure it wasn't kosher. are you booing semetism
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or anti-semitism. redefining lesbians as nonmen professors at johns hopkins. a woman whose remains were found in a garment bag has been identified after 45 years. police remain baffled as the dry-cleaners said she would be ready by thursday. that's funny. even though she is dead it's still funny. that's sad. it is. a belgian prank officer, don't we love them, faked his own funeral before showing up at the ceremony in a helicopter where he was greeted by family an friends who promptly beat him to death. fda approved over the counter sale of the first topical treatment for erectile
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dysfunction called eroxon. consumers are encouraged to combine it with their other product uroxoff, i guess you would call that an ointment. we used to call them ointments. ointments, such a gross word. all right. san francisco was squeezed by crime and quality of life issues, every hotel owners are starting to leave. in fact, downtown is so unsafe many san francisco ans are searching for new places to defecate. pat sajak is leaving "wheel of fortune" after nearly 40 years, sajak replied -- this is when i feel sorry for our blind
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viewers. very confused right now. >> why are they applauding. >> serious squinting. >> air quality across new york city was slightly worse as smoke from canadian wildfires passed over the city. to get a breath of fresh air, new yorkers actually had to get into a cab. preuber joke. as the immigration cases rages on, new york is he 0ing two emergency centers on the city's upper west side, elementary school is so over crowded by migrants, had to cancel this week's sex toy demonstration. sad but it's true. what's coming to this world? a man in the uk was busted in a park having sex with a tree stump. he said he would liked to have kept ongoing but he was totally sapped. i didn't even like -- why are you
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clapping? at last he wore a condom so he wouldn't get a splinter. but i guess it gives new meaning to the word -- i feel dirty. >> thanks for coming. >> this week president biden had to undergo a two day root canal after reports he eats like a child. he also walks, talks his pants like a child. too easy. too easy. paul mccarthy said the beetle's last record will feature john lennon's voice with ai. archeologists in spain unearthing a 500-year-old 6-inch stone, well they are claiming it's 6 inches. finally pizza hut debuted a limited edition pickled pizza part of a bigger plan to increase sales at do
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dominoes. let's do -- let's do some news. the president with no brain thinks we're building an ocean train. it's true. old joe came up with an in genius transportation plan this week. >> we have plans to build a railroad, i can go on, but i'm not, i am getting off script and i am going to get in trouble. >> the president says out loud that other people are in charge so, a train across the indian ocean, what's next, an elevator to narnia. escalator to candy land. a bean stalk to tyrus' house. >> you are welcome to come up. >> meantime, you better not ask him about his family's wheeling and dealing with ukraine, he will get testier than super
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models when they run out of greg. all right. roll it. >> why -- >> someone is doing their best trump impression, i'm old enough to remember when that behavior was hateful. eva longoria, it's not about natalie from facts of life. all right: she still alive, i am saying the character doesn't exist. the audience on the white house lawn featured many hispanics, they weren't there to mow the grass. i know. i know. he's a racist. on the bright side, no man flashed his breasts. i wonder if joe knows eva for a long time. >> we've known each other a long
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time, she was 17, i was 40. >> i didn't know eva longoria was 70. then later he went in for a hug that he held a little too long. yeah. it's probably pay back for dr. jill slapping tongues with doug emhoff, but eva had to physically remove his liver spotted hands from her torso, he thought she was an ice cream cone. north carolina focus groups shows swing voters are concerned about his advanced age, they feel exhausted and without confidence whenever they see him mumble nonsense or fall on his face, still vote for him in a trump rematch unless rigor mortis sets in. what does joe
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have to say. >> no, no, it's fine. eva is a good sport. got stuck in joe's pinscher. and i know about the -- i was going to build a train track on the ocean, all right. i know the difference between a boat and train, i mix them up because boat goes toot toot and a train goes choo-choo. i can mix up a toot toot and a choo-choo, don't mix up a popcorn and a corn pop. you are going to be saying bye bye, jack. >> all right. kennedy. is it possible, because i'm hoping this is true, that he spilled the beans on something really amazing. because the worse story is that he thinks it's happening. but what if we are building a train across the indian ocean, that's kind of awesome much that's like going
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to the moon somehow on a balloon or something. >> yeah, greg, you probably bring up the best point because that is -- you know, we thought flying cars would be a big deal but flying floating hovering train, that is going to change the course of humanity for the better and we are the ones who get to do it. we all think he is this old man, maybe he's an genius. >> this is all an act. >> wow. >> i said it here first. >> no wonder why those confused voters are going to vote for him again even though he is the worse president we've ever seen. >> if you applaud that you are eating into my time. congressman welcome to the show. does any of this really matter any of this criticism? because, i mean, the democrats are going to do what the democrats do, they are going to support joe or working behind the scenes trying to figure out who is going to replace him. none of the jokes we major
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anything really really matter, right? >> no the jokes matter. you gotta do this because it's so ridiculous and so hilarious. my hope is that voters are like is this guy really with us? is he really this gone? i can't make that decision but to the train thing, that's actually a violation of the espionage act, this thing is happening. he leaked information to the world. >> that is true. that is true. >> lock him up. >> i know. so, kat. >> what up? had. >> how is your water? >> it's tea. >> excellent. excellent. so, what do you think's really going on? what is really going, you have your finger on the pulse of politics. >> i sure do. >> yes. >> see, i really -- i do get a little tired of all of the criticisms, always being about his age and how his age makes him unfit for the job. i think it's more accurate to say that the things going on with him physically and mentally make him unfit for any job like i wouldn't want him helping me at
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zara, you know. and regardless of the number that designates your age, this stuff is concerning, like if i were walking and the office, talking about being raised by puerto ricans, i wouldn't want you guys to be like you know, she is 34, she is fine, put her on the air. it's not -- there is plenty of 80-year-olds who don't act like that. >> that's true. some of them are still at fox. i don't even know who i am talking about, tyrus. so,. >> i'm drinking jack. >> it's friday. what do you think's going on? i think people are jock keying to replace joe, gretchen whitmer, gavin newsom, he went on hannity. >> gavin is don't make me sing
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thing, don't make me run, i don't want to run. okay. i'll run. i think -- you know, he's the green president, right? so how are you going to build this train? you are going to have to rip up the ocean floor, kill all "the little mermaids" and flippers and stuff. and then according to aoc it has to be done, we have four years left now, and then with the ocean rising, our little trains are going to end up being submarines. let's not forget the 560 day trip it's going to be from new york to india on the train. and when you get the good news, when you get pushed outer not going to get run over you are going to get eaten by a shark. is he quite possibly the most incompetent president, congressman, senator, grandfather, you name the title, he would be the worse greeter at wal-mart. and the -- where --
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i'm sorry, but even the audience laughing, where are the feminists? he just groped a woman, that was not -- that is a hands off reaction. not a oops or bring it in brother, it was whoa, hey, pop. and she almost ran out of stage. >> yeah, she did. >> to get away from him. and everybody is okay with this? if that had been president trump, it would have been billboards outside. >> he's like the grandfather in mad man, he started going crazy, they put him in the closet. >> he is the grandfather from road trip. watch it. >> two references no one remembers. >> we need to start going to sleep tonight and stop trading movies. >> we are working from home turn you into a hideous gnome?
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>> all right. can working at home be to blame for turning you into the hunch back of notre dame? just as we guess future employment will make us fat, pale and depressed, researchers in the uk or uk. have attempted to visualize the negative health impact that remote working will cause by the year 2100. check out these two at the be 3-d renderings of remote worker in the future. wrong one. here's the right one. that's future remote worker no doubt created by some nerd working at home. anyway. the model features a
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hunch back sunken eyes, sagging skin and claw-like hands, and that's the year 2100. how about 2150. how about 2200. how about 2300. yeah. yeah, you thought we were going to go one way and we went the other. we threw one of our own into the fire. >> fair and balanced. >> fair and balanced. yes, so these are physical characteristics researchers say will result from chronic poor posture and screen exposure, a lack of sunlight and fresh air from a life spent indoors will contribute to pfizer likes to call it, the perfect customer. congressman are you worried
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about this? are you worried they will turn into little gnomes like me? >> no, because all of my sons are taller than you, even the 12 year old. >> that is true. i met him. >> you met him in the back. >> yeah. >> i really think your first and last time here was great. >> oh, you thought he was coming back? after that monolog. you remember the last good disney movie wally, all the adults are on the ship, too slovenly to stand up, this is what happens, people have to get out of the house. i take my kids out all the time, they hate me for it, it makes me a great dad. happy father's day, everybody. >> happy father's day, kat. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. have you been a great dad. >> yes. >> do you think -- i have noticed with women, you know -- >> i can't wait to see where this goes. >> yes. evolutionary animals, we
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react overtime, i noticed like there is a hunching and there is a neck thing that is happening and because in the office girls walking around like this and that overtime that is going to change. >> exactly. in the office. including me. in the office which means this whole thing is corporate real estate propaganda. everything they listed here, this never happens in the office, only at home. looking at the screen too much. what am i doing here all day. looking at the screen, i'm hunched over here. her immune system is weakened because of anxiety and depression, oh, yeah you never have anxiety at work. this is all stuff that's happening regardless of whether you are in the office or not. i demand to know who is behind this. >> yeah, big -- >> corporate real estate. >> they are like 30% average in every -- >> i don't like working from home because i don't have a home, i have an apartment, there
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is not that many rooms. >> you know what this hurts is the homeless because they can't work from home. i don't think anybody ever posed that point. >> work everywhere. >> yeah, i know. i'm trying to be nice. but i've been too england. this is just every day walking around england. >> oh, my god. >> just saying there. it's cloudy all day. they eat really bad food. like one dentist per continent. so, oh, so what, they get to be the smart roles in movies so take a little heat. this is dumb. kat is 1000% right. i would love to work at home. man, would do this show chop wood in my backyard. yeah, republicans are cool, democrats suck. got one. back to you, greg. like, i would be living my
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best life. >> record that when you are not here. >> i will fake an injury, whatever you need, get me home. but this is ridiculous. kat -- this is propaganda. if you are sloppy, pasty, don't do your thing, it's you not doing your job. he is forced outside, he sits outside by himself because all his friends are on electronics, my side is outside somewhere, too. he was taller than greg at ten. i have the photo up tonight. >> kennedy i believe i am taller than your kids. >> no, you are not by a long shot. >> not even close. >> what does this have to do -- >> if you got on the shoulders you would be as tall as the older one. >> do you also not buy this? >> kat is absolutely right, this is the return to work coalition, they paid for this study. if you are not careful will you have claw hands and you will be
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grabbing at invisible genitals and have a cotton candy camel toe, like me explaining sex to my children. if you let a -- you will get warts all over your body that will be disfingerring and have chronic bo. >> i love their music. i don't know. i think the more time you spend at home the worse you are. you have to go outside. >> let's do an experiment, send me home for 3 months. we did that experiment. i had a great time then, too. i was outside all day,. >> three years to stop the spread. >> all right. up next. are skeletal fingers your fate when you lose a ton of weight. my a1c was up here; now, it's down with rybelsus®.
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>> these kids. all right. for losing weight, but you will lose your wedding band. have you heard of ozempic helping diabetes patients to control their blood sugar, took off for side effect of rapid weight loss or the pompeo effect. i'm not -- anyway. people have posted all over social media about it including several celebrities. now there is a new epidemic sweeping the nation called ozempic finger. unlike some rapidly spreading diseases didn't originate in a chinese lab or hunter biden's groin. need a better word than groin. get on that, kat. basically, women who are on the weight loss drug are discovering that their fingers and wrists are getting skinnier than ever making it more likely that their jewelry
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will fall off. in fact the number of women going to jewelers getting their wedding rings sized down is way up from last year. if that's not ledge eti, cold hard data this ozempic finger trend, i don't know what is. at any late, anthony fauci recommends we still wear masks. at least to protect against flying cubic zirconia. rings were falling off men, too, they said yes but for some reason it doesn't bother them. i know. men are pigs, am i right? >> it's funny because men cheat on their wives. >> you go girl. >> i wonder who the men are cheating with though. yeah, their wives' best friend. >> i didn't know you watched vanderpump. >> so, kat. this is interesting,
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what do you make of this, i am becoming this whole ozempic thing exploded because it really does sound like it's the miracle drug everybody was waiting for because nobody likes to exercise, nobody likes to eat healthy, this allows to you do both except doesn't it sap the joy out of life because you don't want to eat at all? >> no, there is other things about life that are joyful besides eating. i know you're shocked to hear that from me. i just -- there is no such thing as a shortcut. i feel like you would want to be concerned of the effects. because celebrities talk about it, there is rumors of celebrities doing something, people are like she did it, she's fine, except celebrities they can have talk toes come to their house. i would love to be so famous and richie could call a doctor and tell me i'm not dying. that is not a normal thing to want, right? i feel dizzy, it's okay, right? >> that's all right. it's easy to get a doctor to come to your
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house, make some weird psychological threat to somebody. >> or. >> or what? >> a concierge doctor. >> oh, yeah. >> they'll come to your house. i've got one. yeah, i manage my wrestling money right. fiscally responsible, hence republican. >> you follow this stuff, you know medications well. what is it about ozempic that we're not seeing? >> well, fat fingers for one. i mean, greg, you broke this here. you are not -- bret baier didn't get this one, people taking a drug that makes you lose weight and your fingers get skinny, oh, my god. you would think if you had fat fingers and uloses it and you walked in with your hula hoop and ring it would be a happy day for you. my ring's
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down four sizes since i started working out. >> humble brag. oh, i lost my finger. >> no problem. because the cold part is they lose the weight on wrist and fingers but not their belly. >> they do, don't they? they lose it in their belly. >> i don't know, greg, i over eat, gotta go to the gym, work it off. then i get it off, let's go eat. gotta do it again. so, you know, i don't like needles so i could -- >> have you to inject it once a week. >> kat's right, shortcuts never work. short-term, because here is a cold part, once they get the little ring fixed, get off it, guess what, bad fingers are back then the ring don't fit that's when the guy says honey, that's why i wasn't wearing it. >> fat fingers, you know. >> kennedy, i got this theory that ozempic would have been a better vaccine than the covid vaccine which is a low bar, if
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you slim people down that was like the major risk factor aside for aids for covid. >> where are we in society when we are all about body positivity, if you wear 600 pounds you are supposed to be a hero flying answer coach seat, making other people uncomfortable. at the same time we are obsessed with easy weight loss. we have no idea who we are or what is important to us. but any one who loses weight, they call it ozempic face, ozempic finger, when you lose weight especially lose weight quickly, you lose weight in all parts of your body. and if you don't have muscle you sag, you have to choose between your face and your -- you know, you can't -- >> don't do it. don't do it. i was thinking the same thing. i am telling you now. this is a
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pre'em testify strike. >> it's passing, it's passing. there it goes. >> don't do it. >> congress man will throw -- >> congressman, my face or my -- >> welcome to this show. >> what do you do to exercise? do you -- do you find -- because when you are a kong less man you are always going around, you eat everywhere, you have to eat corn dogs at fairs. >> they have a secret gym. >> i had a secret gym. >> no i think for me it's just a lot of weights, i hate running. so, i lift weights all the time, it's my time to not answer my phone, it's a great time, actually. what concerns me are guys that run for like
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>> yes, you're watching mailing it in. >> welcome to mailing it in, you right eyed reed and we make the
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choice. i am just going to say it. >> you are not going to stop. >> forever. >> kennedy. >> first question from stacey dog mom, that is perverse, what is something you learned embarrassingly late in life, tyrus. >> embarrassingly late in life? when they say nothing's wrong. don't just turn your head and go back to your xbox, fellas. >> they should have classes on that stuff. they don't, they don't. we go into this blind, congressman. what did you learn embarrassingly late in life? >> tyrus took my answer. it's a good thing i'm still young. i got a lot to learn. highly
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immature. i'm 44, very immature. >> we are about the same age. kennedy. kennedy you have had a wildlife. >> wild. >> famous as a young, partied with the rich and hot, you almost slept with michael jordan. >> now i wish i had. yes. i wish i did. two things, i am embarrassed about two things, one i didn't realize until i was 25 that tortilla chips were tortillas cut into triangles, i felt really dumb. didn't realize you should cut -- >> thank you so much for coming. thank you. >> i am going to save that bite. >> you put it right here. >> tennis ball's in the pocket so you always have a ball as you miss the first serve. >> thank you, greg. >> important lesson. america
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there is a new champion onset. new champ, america. kennedy. >> all right. kat. what did you learn late in life that you you wished you learned earlier? >> i learned how to ride a bake for training wheels for awhile. >> really? >> i was in girl scouts, we did this bike around, it took me three hours than anybody else. but i still did it. >> you were a weird kid. >> have you no idea. >> i wish i knew you as a kid so i could make fun of you. >> well given the age difference that would have been really strange. >> yeah, i have been a regular biden eva longoria. >> some 30-year-old guy. >> training wheels. >> anyway. >> i'm driving by my truck, hey, look at you, your training wheels. >> and she is like -- there is a ghost driving the truck, mommy.
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>> all right. >> you people suck. this is another earnest question, what is the best way to figure out what kind of job you should pursue or figure out. or what kind of major i want in college. this is a -- i will ask you, kat. what's the best way to figure out what kind of job you should get. >> i think that what you're good at is something you should go into. something that makes you happy, what you are good at because you are going into it to make dollars. >> so what you are good at and makes you happy. >> no, but also makes money. >> scratch that. >> it's -- >> oh, my god. i'm sorry, just tell your family congressman, this was a repeat and you -- they bumped it for breaking news. do you have advice. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> i told my sons this. find out
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how much it cost to live and then go major in what's going to be able to pay that bill. figure that out first. now here is the second side to that, second side to that is making money gives you options. so, what you are making money then you can do all the fun stuff you want to do in your spare time, coach kids, save cats, you know. go on safari, work at the local zoo, you can do stuff in your spare time, do something that pays the bills. we need your tax money by the way. need that money. >> kennedy, very long illustrious career, did you know what you were planning on doing. >> i knew -- i thought i was going to go into politics for a long time. that will never happen. i do have a daughter who is going to college in the fall, she is obsessed with an idea picking a major before she goes to college. i don't think that's important. a lot of times when you read resumes and stuff you
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don't necessarily pick the person who has the major that corresponds to the job. internships are really really valuable. >> excellent. >> and that's where people learn the most. >> that's how i made my choice interning at different places like the hospital and the morgue. all right. tyrus. >> what was your thing in the morgue? you don't have to answer that. i was always obviously i was a big proponent following your dreams. but i always had a backup plan. and the second thing is, listen to your haters. listen to the people who tell you you can't do things and never accept no. but the people who cheer for you, that's great. the people who like to tell you what they can't do, they are really inspirational. >> that is true. i got a lot of those, huh? you know -- >> i know two for sure. >> on the panel. we have to move on. what is the deal with the
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>> a story in five words. >> five words. last meal burger no bun. kennedy this is strange.
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death row inmate had a bacon cheeseburger without the bunn. isn't it too late to go gluten free, that is an optimist, assuming it would help him out. >> they should have given him the physiology briefing before the electric chair, is he going to crap his pants either way. as someone with celiac, it's your last chance, take the bun. >> take the bun. >> if you are going to choose. >> yes. have you ever thought about a final meal, i think it's weird, tyrus. >> no, i have a final meal every night before i go to bed. >> true. it's true. >> if i was on death row, probably for killing you, i am going -- as you should. i would go with veal parm, i don't care if it was a baby cow, i don't care.
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>> i have a back story on that. i thought veal was a separate animal. >> i mean, kind of. >> i didn't know it was a baby cow, i thought a veal was an animal that was a veal. >> well a cow -- just a cow in a box. >> it's just a cow in a box. there is an idea, amazon get in there. kat, i imagine that you wouldn't have a last meal because you don't even eat. >> i do. this was -- okay, i know you are fixated on the bun. had he coffee. what do you need energy for? i was thinking it sucks that caffeine is the only drug that they let you do. pick which drug i overdose on. >> you should be able to have 24 hours of a fun opiate. >> pick your lethal injection. >> yes, exactly. >> what do you want to overdose on. >> maybe it's food. maybe it's buns. maybe it's face.
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congressman, you almost made it to the end. >> i did. >> this could be -- this could destroy your career. >> it probably will. you're in florida, you're good. >> it is interesting to consider your carb in take before you are going to the chair. that is -- eternal optimist. >> two things, first, if you're going to -- if you are getting a bun-less burger as your last meal, probably a reason you are on death row. that is sad eating for a long life. >> yes. >> it's sad. that's where your mind goes, there is other issues. >> his priorities are off. >> the tomahawk steak from del frisco's. >> that is the best. i burned my hand on that plate many times. >> no one asked why. >> at least it was my hand, that's for sure. don't go away,
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♪ farxiga ♪ >> we are out of time, perhaps literally. thanks to congressman byron donalds. kennedy, kat, studio audience. i love you america. >> good evening everybody and welcome to america's late news. fox news at night. i'm kevin cork in washington in for trace ga la gear. >> to punish congressman adam schiff for insisting that former president donald trump included with russia to win the 2016 election. a u.s. citizen is under arrest over the death of the death of would again tonight with over pride night for the controversial group which describes

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