responsibility. the candidate who makesibilityst case effectively and firmly, urgentlythat who's unafraid to e that message into unfriendly political territory canll win and will win. that's i. is it ft [cheers and applause ♪ >> greg: yes, happy tuesday, everybody. i'm so excited. how about those pride parades last weekend, huh? saw more than a few nude dudes stripping down. i have no idea why they would, their weenies were so -- they

could have been on toothpicks. this picture, base of the space needle, an app location, if you ask me. by the way, the only clean needle in seattle. [laughter] >> greg: is that actually seattle or wisconsin? i haven't seen that much cottage cheese, since i used to wrestle in it. those unsightly old men were stark naked in front of kids at this pride event. disgusting. they didn't have a cover charge. at minimum, these kids will never enjoy tapioca again. only pray the bikes were not rentals. raises important question,

doesn't that chafe? their asses must look like unc uncooked. why are there children at a pride event? what parent is cool with this? these are the kind of parents, look, a stranger with candy and he owns a white van? sounds like the perfect babysitter. one gentleman kept his tighty whiteys on and twerked for the crowd. in the name of pride? what is this guy proud of? that he has the body of a dented juice box. normalize nudity signs. normalize nudity in front of strangers? at least be somewhat attractive. that is like jimmy failla

demanding a fashion show. >> yeah. >> greg: looks like broke-back mountain yard sale. >> can't quit you, greg. greek >> greg: i know. guess who sponsored this event? everybody's former favorite beer. they will never win back kid rock. keep this up and case of bud light will come with free anal beads and don lemon's phone number. there has been blowback. the libs are not mad at guys running around naked, they are mad at us for noticing. george saki, sulu, and nothing else, even if there were no naked guys on bikes this year, find pictures or generate them.

if those guys weren't naked in front of kids, you make up the story they were anyway, who cares it is actually real. that is quite a defense. officer, false accusation by committing the crime you accuse us of. we are not theed is that has to make up hoaxes, that is your side. george saki, gone where no man has gone before, just like those bike seats. public nudity, where are the pictures? there is this reality, they are never exhibit you want to see naked. hot people know you got to pay for that. that is why you never see strippers do charity work and i've asked. sadly, only the homely people let it hang out. sorry, if i wanted to see that,

i would become a doctor or go to annual fox picnic. this is indulging exhibitionist fetish, embrace my kink, indecent exposure and now it is another lifestyle choice. last week the media mocked riley gaines for speaking out about sharing a locker room with a naked dude. now everyone is riley gaines, including your kids. cops aren't arresting people, do you want to touch that? if you look like a blob of cookie dough, who wants to touch that. when i commit a crime, i'm stripping. parents taking kids, age-appropriate filter. there is no waiting period for intellectual, psychological or

physical growth. introduce children to this stuff early as possible, it is textbook indoctrination. even adults don't want to see this crap. if i want to go whale watching, i can head to cape cop or watch "the view" on my phone. the boundary keeps getting pushed, not enough to push adults to see naked men in public spaces, it is now pushed on kids. put on rubber gloves before you do. >> welcome tonight's guest, she avoids gluten to keep from tooting. kennedy. magnetic personality and legs, joey jones. he looks how licorice tastes.

"fox across america" host jimmy failla. and she decides to call it a day before getting out of bed. fox news contributor kat timpf. [applause] >> greg: jimmy, why do the naked guys look alike? by the way, the only way naked guys could look worse, if they wear your shirt. >> i am doing opposite reverse. i'm traumatized. i saw the tweets, so many dongs, i feel like i'm on a women's swim team, so bizarre. this is the part i have a problem with. i am glad you like that one. we know this is wrong. the reason they are doing it, they label pushback as bigotry and oppression.

they are intentionally going too far. we agreed someone doing this was wrong. if someone wanted to get naked in front of your kid, you called them what? a priest. okay. >> i like when people get upset about that. >> greg: how dare you make fun of a crime that actually happened. it is double for me, i wasn't cute enough for them, i was left out. they frame it as bigotry. >> greg: kennedy, i apol jiesz for having to cloud out all the genitals, that is what you were here for. >> kennedy: that is why i agreed to do the show. >> greg: to see the genitals of homely men. you realize that is fetish that we are indulging a fetish. this is not about freedom. >> kennedy: i never knew what fetishes were, until i started hanging out with you.

you showed me your phone search and that is what they warned me about in the hr meeting. this is seattle, a special place. i know your outrage, a lot of men were ticketed because the sausage wasn't vegan. >> greg: nice. nicely done. little sausage joke there. jjj, there with your kids and a naked guy starts dancing in front of your kids, what are you going to do? >> joe: i am not there with my kids and has nothing to do with my stance on homo sexuality. i have a gay and lesbian cup nel my family. the fact one is a police officer and the other can grow plants --

i can't -- inside his home, right? >> greg: you mean those plants. >> joey: different story. >> greg: one is a cop and the other grow plants, they make it work. >> joey: i couldn't go too far. these are human beings. their sexual orientation doesn't define them. they are normal people. and the idea of a pride parade will say, you have told me i can't be myself and now i am. this is not yourself, this is a pervert, wants to be naked in front of everyone, a broken part of him is one expregsz away from committing crime. you don't do this if you are a decent person, has nothing to do wo sexual orientation. whatever happened that stopped

you from feeling validated, my kids will not get that for you. >> greg: the gay community exceeded all expectation in terms of quality and record timing. civil rights movement was fast and furious. now look at pride march, what is this about? about having a good time tlchl is no real enemy anymore, no enemy. now anybody can go in there and artificially create an enemy, like you said, like if i'm naked and you don't like it, that is because you're a bigot. they are not good-looking, kat, that is the problem. >> kat: i hate to do this, i respect you. i have to disagree with the thesis of your monologue. naked bike riding is not a gay pride thing, exclusively, it wasn't just a gay pride thing

last weekend. this past saturday was world naked bike ride. one photo from chicago, this was in milwaukee and philadelphia and seattle. i wanted more photos, they didn't have time to blur out all the penises first. this has happened since 2004 and i haven't seen major public backlash in 10 years it's been happening, only against the pride ones. they did say this event decries pollution based transport and promotes body positive image. i have never seen a bike ride in alabama. alabama, let's get naked for the second amendment temperature is liberal thing or white liberal thing based on photos. it is not a pride thing. pride is the people getting

backlash. when girls pull boobs out, it is fun. when men do it, think of the children. riding a bike around naked is strange way, but seeing naked bike ride get coverage -- >> greg: we get it, you love the naked bike ride. >> kat: that is not what i said, i say only talking about the gay ones is gate keeping. >> greg: women who bear their breasts are generally attractive. get to the fountain, that is not a bike ride, that is fountain. there are photos of parades doing all sort of thing. controversy was about kids. >> kat: the other one is happening in front of kids, too. >> greg: they were included, i just didn't say naked bike ride. >> kat: different from the pride

one. can we shake hands on the fact -- >> just don't get naked in front of kids. >> kennedy: the reason for germany existence is to get naked on may 13th when the sun comes out. any public park it is a bratwurst festival. what greg is saying, he wishes more participants looked more like selma hyack. >> greg: thanks, why creepy fat men, that is all there is, not a single hot chick in that and you can quote me, "new york times." up next, disney giving critics lots to bash. >> if you would like tickets to see "gutfeld!" go to fox

news.com/gutfeld and click to be in the audience.

we moved out of the city so our little sophie could appreciate nature. but then he got us t-mobile home internet. i was just trying to improve our signal, so some of the trees had to go. i might've taken it a step too far. (chainsaw revs) (tree crashes) (chainsaw continues) (daughter screams) let's pretend for a second that you didn't let down your entire family. what would that reality look like? well i guess i would've gotten us xfinity...

and we'd have a better view. do you need mulch? what, we have a ton of mulch.

>> greg: thank you. mickey mouse about to lose his house? it seems woke disney fairytales equal low ticket sales. last eight studio releases show shocking loss of nearly $1 billion. [applause] >> greg: that is almost a lawsuit. it's gotten so bad cruella dav daville is selling dogs to chipotle and peter pan had to cancel his gender surgery.

sorry, peter. valient renegade argues disney hits barely broke even or tanked, marvel movies like "black panther 2" and "antman 3," and "snow white and seven drag queens," and latest indiana jones movie doesn't look good. 80-year-old indiana jones spends the film looking for the men's room. for some of us, that is a treasure. what does this say about disney? wokeism devolving into out of touch and desperate divorce dad derest of imagination. we all liked mickey mouse before he started scolding us about pronouns.

hate everything from disney to school teachers to sports. how wholesome classic movies were. check out this old cartoon. this just in, irish are moving into the "the neighborhood" and taking over. >> not drunken catholics, those guys are pervertses. shoot our way out of this one. they're here. s one. [bleep. shoot our way out of this one. they're here. . shoot our way out of this one. they're here. die. [sound of gunfire] this is what happens when you give women the right to vote. [laughter] >> greg: you know, kennedy, love them or hate old disney, they had good ideas. the women voting thing hasn't worked out too well. what do you make of what is going on with disney? do you think it is all about wokeism? it can't be. >> kennedy: not necessarily.

they send so much stuff to disney + and things have to be special going to movies. most people cannot afford family movie tickets. now they have dine-in movie theaterses, lure you in with nachos and booze. i'm buying one ticket because i leave my cats at home. there is something else creepy about disney and we have to bring this up. the fact the mom dies in pretty much every movie and disney has been unable to reconcile this. nemo, he was killed and his dad is like sixth sense, they all got eaten by the shark. >> greg: wow, did not see that coming at all. what sucks about disney, how pathetic you can't sell disney. o sell ice cream or something. if you want to become -- have an easy job as a salesman, go work

for ben & jerry's where everyone loves ice cream. you manage to screw up disney. how can you make so that nobody likes disney? >> you attack yourself. that is exactly what they have done. if you look at all the movies like bambi or fox in the -- fox and the hound. they are supposed to want to kill each other. they tackle real life stuff were they tackle they completely imagine stuff like peter pan. there are real-world issues that people actually deal with. when you start making movies that attacked that, when you start making movies that create problems rather than literally just highlighting ones that -- -- >> when we want to watch a movie outside of this world, we go watch 80-year-old tom cruise fly a jet and kill russians, that is the movie we want to see. when we watch disney movies, we want to walk away knowing our

kids learned something about life and this cartoon helped us figure it out. >> greg: disney should do a movie about the naked bike riders. [laughter] >> greg: could learn something from that. >> thank you. >> kat: i don't think you could learn anything from that, to be clear. actu actually d rebrand because they are struggling to make money from their movies at this point. but they make a lot of money from their corndogs. [laughter] >> greg: oh -- >> kat: yes, they can sell a corndog for ten dollars at disneyland. anyone else tried to do that, you will be like to get out of my face. disney saw the movie business is failing. with a corndog business is flourishing. >> greg: it is, and who does not love a corndog? >> kat: i really do. >> greg: so do the naked bike riders. >> kat: i knew you were going to say that.

>> greg: yeah. all right. jimmy. >> i could pull this down for you. this is a semi serious point. the wokeism is what is hurting them because disney's core customer is parents. and they are lecturing parents about inclusion while they are charging them $200 to get in which is the most exclusionary thing you ever heard in your life. so that is where it is. they are out of touch with the value of the customer. pretty soon they will have a version of sleepy beauty starting bill cosby and nobody wants that. i'm just saying. >> greg: again, they are blaming you for bill cosby. >> i got in trouble again. i'm not mixing the drinks. what is going on? >> this is not bill cosby. [laughter] some confusion. [overlapping speakers] >> but that is where it is back on some level, i like watching them tank because they are going to be forced into a course correction, okay?

yeah. >> they go too far, too far and then they go, [bleep] >> they have embraced a lot of that. >> i cannot keep up past the bathroom. >> jimmy: you should sit on a second phone book so that it is easier to see. >> greg: yeah, i agree. >> what happens to me when i'm too far away from the bathroom, [bleep] [laughter] i can't run. >> greg: up next, could new rules mean said goodbye's for pizza pies? [applause]

[cheers and applause] >> greg: new york wants to ruin your slides but one-man says, no ties. new york city drafted new rules to restrict coal and woodfired pizza ovens in the name of fighting climate change. [audience reacts]

there you go. no surprise. piece ovens cost seven ice ages and the canceling of dr. quinn medicine woman. that will could require pizzerias with such ovens to buy expensive emission control devices to reduce carbon pollution by 75% because in today's effed world, making pizza is overland. despite the fact that you have to burn a pizza stove for 849 years straight to the equal the emissions that john kerry's jessie bates in just one-year. and now they want the piece ovens. what are we supposed to cook on, solar panels? one guy had enough and went to city hall is going to fight the crackdown. as you will see, he was really cheesed of. >> city schools produce the dumbest kids and the woke-ass folks who run new york city are

afraid of pizza? you hire the boston tea party. this is the new york -- this is the new york pizza party. [laughter] >> greg: don't laugh. he did that without a script. i think that is clever. [laughter] then he actually threw pizza at city hall. >> give us pizza, or give us that! give us pizza, or give us death! new york city is nothing without pizza! [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> greg: hat, he has got a point. number one look, the people that make these rules have never run a business. they have never run a small business. to them, they don't think, oh, we are putting four dozen businesses out because they

can't afford whatever that they are demanding. >> kat: yeah. it has gotten so bad and i don't see how certain areas or certain things recover. there's a search of a block where it is on the east side where my cat is. intercept of the street, every business is shut down. every storefront is empty. so that is back? obviously those businesses fail but also how are they going to get a new one to move into there? who is going to be like, i would love to hinge my livelihood on this deserted island over here. it is so all they can think of is, let's make it even harder? >> greg: yeah. they don't get it. they don't get it. johnny, it pisses me off because pizza is great. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> yes. >> kat: that is bold for you to go there. >> greg: sometimes i got to take a stand. >> my buddy in chicago said new

york city peter sucked anyway. >> greg: was that jussie smollett? [audience reacts] >> it was two guys there. >> greg: 9:00 hour. >> these idiots are saying you can't use wood to have a fire. >> greg: yes. >> you can't use wood to have a fire. what? there's a few things i can count on when the world goes completely stupid and it shuts down. one of few things is you base upstream and get your drinking water up steering from that and you get your fire from wood. >> greg: you beat upstream? oh, page. why do you base upstream. >> because you use the bathroom downstream. the world goes [bleep]. >> greg: no wonder i've been sick all month. [laughter] i have been drinking out of a toilet, folks. [laughter] jimmy!

>> jimmy: awkward. >> greg: i can't get everything. >> jimmy: as a cabdriver. >> greg: you lived off old slices of pizza. this is a direct attack on people like you. i used the word people loosely. >> jimmy: i want to defend john kerry. he can fly commercial because he gets marked because they think it is the horse from mr. and. everybody wants to take a selfie. you wonder what the scan of th this? it will do nothing in terms of the environment. okay, understand the biggest source of pollution in new york city is traffic and the green energy people are causing more of it by eliminating car lanes for by lanes and pedestrian doors and restaurant seating in the right lane of sixth avenue. but not the safest. okay? but they are actually making it worse and it is destroying porn. i was watching today, they arrested the pizza guy. is that cold? [laughter]

>> greg: i don't even know what he means. kennedy, again, punishing people who are trying to make a living, that is what new york is just a place for the rich to punish the poor. >> i'm so glad you brought to because rich liberals have wood-burning pizza ovens in their backyards. yes, that is one of the things. so if you're going to show your friends your strawberries, your perks that you have and gorgeous gated community, of course you have solar panels but you also have a wood-burning pizza oven and jimmy is absolutely right. it is not the because of pollution. if you take away all of the wood-burning ovens which there are not that many, you are going to have to cook the food people of using electricity and in new york, guess where they get electricity. from natural gas and coal fired plants. what does that do to the earth? it -- >> greg: the imagery, kennedy. >> with its tapioca bottom. [audience reacts]

>> i love tapioca. >> greg: good for you. [laughter] a great add-on right there. >> i love tapioca. >> greg: what the hell is wrong with you. >> you are not going to are without for me. [laughter] >> greg: coming up, a local news

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♪ ♪ >> announcer: coast to coast with stories that matter most. you are watching local news with 53 time emmy winner chet van jansen. and now here is chat. [cheers and applause] >> greg: little housekeeping, just over, as you know, chat has been in a coma, serious accident. he has been in the hospital. during the time in the hospital, he also won six more enemies.

and even when he is unconscious and on life support and assistance, he still wins enemies. i know we are going to say, a local enemies, that is easy. why don't you win one and do when you are not in a coma and then call me. okay? what you guys getting all up jack's plea. local news. each guest has to share a story and then i vote on the winner and that person gets to taste my "gutfeld!" flavored ice cream. >> no. >> greg: it took me a mother to save that up. anyway, joey, you start. >> i was looking to the paper back home where i'm from. and i found this really cool article about a guy named johnny joey jones. >> greg: tell me about him? >> he is a local dude. he put a book out.

it says, dalton native, joey jones. >> greg: i happen to have a copy of it right in front of me. you mind if i call you j cube? >> i like it. it shows some intellect. >> greg: join g squared, greg gutfeld. i have a note. >> it is written in sharpie. >> greg: by the way, you should get the book. i can summarize it for you because you take forever. [laughter] basically do a number of porches or people that you have met that were in the military, which i think is very important because a lot of people think they are aliens. generations, they don't know anybody who is in the military. >> we kind of are aliens. we are super weird. it is because we learn to kill, kill, kill. you know what i mean? it is really great. >> greg: got some great pictures

in here, too. not enough of you shirtless, but that is okay. [laughter] all right, kat, what's your story? by the way, you can purchase this where all fine books are sold. also amazon. [laughter] >> kat: a woman in indianapolis is was rock and -- robbed at gunpoint. i know what you're thinking, that is not funny. it is because he made her at him on facebook and then asked her out on a day. >> greg: right. >> he was like, i'm going to pay you back. let's hang out. and you know what she'd said? she was like, i can't. i have a boyfriend. which ladies, like, why is so entrance is that that is the only thing you can say. like, i have -- you can't just say, i would hate to disrespect that other men's boundaries because she did not want to be like, you are a felon and you put a gun in my face. >> greg: by the way, he said that he asked her out because he

felt, nobody -- i should not have robbed such a pretty girl. >> kat: he was like, i'm going to give you the money back. >> greg: then he said that he felt bad because she was pretty and i looked at her picture. not pretty. [laughter] she is not. she is not pretty. >> i would have robbed her. [laughter] is she at least, like, better than naked on a bicycle ugly? >> greg: she is not bad. but i would not rob her heart. hot. you got a story? >> this is an outrage. i have an outrage. two 25-year employees were fired from a long island railroad for failing a marijuana test. everyone on the long island railroad is stoned, okay? >> greg: rolling green house. >> i got stopped by a transit house in jamaica. he was like, do you have marijuana? i would like to go. he was like, here he was like,

here to get was so bizarre. >> greg: jamaica new york. is everywhere. let me just throw in a qualifier. no matter how stoned they get, they could not do a worse job with the trains than pete buttegieg. amen. where's the justice? >> greg: where is the justice? i do know, i thought that would have made a big side effect. kennedy, what is your story? there is no justice in my hometown of portland, oregon. there are no great stories. the homicide rate is up? there are always people cooking in the streets. it is not that big of a news story. what do we want to see from portland? you want to see you know to rescue order playing waterfall. here is juno. she is better than any wnba player. she can make shots on the first try. >> greg: a bigger audience than the wnba. >> but she is not a purebred order.

she is a rescue order. it is much more brave for the oregon zoo. >> greg: if you are a rescue water, that means you can get legit otters. >> i love that it is not enough to have an otter. >> what can make us more brave it -- she is homely and fat and -- >> greg: i would find her to be very attractive, dogs that swim. so cute. can you have them housetrained? where do you keep them? >> i think they probably rip your nuts off in your sleep. [laughter] but they are monogamous. they are. >> it is like the wnba. [laughter] >> greg: you know, i think now on all of our local news, it has to be about animals. right? i think yeah, animals are great.

>> you are talking about you said otters are good looking. greg is going to be in a disney film called "grinding nemo." [laughter] >> greg: that was for a different show. [laughter] >> all of those naked bike riders are pervs. >> as long as it is an adult otter. [applause] >> greg: thank you for clapping. up next, cavemen so vicious they found their friends delicious. [applause] i'm jonathan lawson here to tell you about life insurance through the colonial penn program. if you're age 50 to 85, and looking to buy life insurance on a fixed budget, remember the three ps. what are the three ps? the three ps of life insurance on a fixed budget are price, price, and price.

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>> announcer: a story in five words. >> greg: five words. we were once all cannibals. all right, jimmy, paleoanthropologists have found marks on fossilized human bones made by ancient stone tools which reveals that people were once likely cannibals. are you surprised, happy, interested? >> jimmy: it is a weird story but i get it, you know? humans are apparently keto from what i was reading. not everyone can get ozempic. it was sold out, and i just tell

a cheap cannibal joke? the minute i saw the story, this joke should not ever be told on tv. i just. i just want to purpose this. shout-out to my grandma. two cannibals pointed that party. they decide they're going to split. they said no. the guy with the head said, how did you make it out. he said, i'm having a ball. said, slow down, you are eating too fast. [laughter] >> greg: you know -- >> jimmy: my grandma told me that he joked. >> greg: your grandmother is a terrible human being. nobody ever says that. kat, have you ever thought about the possibility if you could eat yourself, like, if you just start, let's say you just start with your fingers? how far you can go, like, just until you are still alive, you are still alive, but you have eaten, like, most of you around the important parts. was that an interesting

scientific experiment? >> kat: no. >> greg: no? >> i certainly will not start with my feet. [laughter] >> kat: honestly, the fact that humans used to each other does not interest me as much as how and when they stopped. >> greg: yes. >> kat: was there a debate where one guy was like, i don't know needs to hear this but as eating each other is not okay and then the other guy was like, what kind of liberal big government [bleep] is that? [laughter] you snowflake crime [...] [laughter] and then how did they work it out? was there a civil war? i don't think the ones that have fewer options for suit -- food services. >> greg: no. >> kat: it makes you think. >> greg: it does. like it some guy said, i'm going to have lab grown human meat. >> kat: i was not going there. >> greg: no, but that would have been the promise. >> i hope if we get there, we are growing limbs back to. i'm just saying. although i would hate to have a

little baby feet for 3 years. >> greg: that would be really weird. >> the fact -- back on the eating feet, this whole thing just brings to mind, we are all one bad snowstorm away from eating each other. >> greg: that is true. >> on top of that, it makes me think about our relationship to animals. cows exist so we don't have to each other. that is kind of an amazing thing. >> greg: try telling that to a cow. you know what he will say. >> i will tell the effer whatever i want. >> greg: he will say, moo. >> i don't know if they were eating each other. they only found little -- so i think they were trying to chop off each other's limbs. it was not like corn on the cob. like, this femur is delicious. it was like chop, chop, chop, you are such a jerk. [laughter] >> greg: stealing limbs. i'm glad we made cannibalism's.

not every show. those titles that. too taboo, eating me and you. [laughter] don't go

>> new text messages appear to show hunter biden demanding $10 million annual pay. wait until you hear the twist. >> todd: a shocking scene in a florida courtroom. >> oh. >> todd: a convicted dbl murderer attacking his own attorney. wait until you hea