>> all right. >> that was dolly parton looka alikes. need to wait a few weeks to see if they actually brokefew we i . i'm waiting desperately. ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheering] >> greg: here we are, once again, happy wednesday. tonight's monologue is donated to our friends on the left who are failing upward. leading the charge, vp kamala harris, only time she's ever led and congrats.

kamala is most unpopular vp in recorded history. think about that, she beat out al gore, some guy named biden and even dick cheney and he shot a guy in the face. he had it coming, though, i think. i don't know the story too well. who said women can't beat men when given the chance. women can suck as good as men. she is bud light of vps. roll the latest. >> the banger of the summer you need to play for your people and they will love it. everybody will go crazy. >> okay. ♪ >> i like it. >> yes. this is song of the summer, okay. tell the dj to have that going, okay? you ready to see stonewall?

>> i am. >> greg: i have not heard so much forced laughter. like bring your daughter to workday. even with kamala approval numbers in cnn numbers, assuming joe still has a heartbeat. he is not even working at half speed anymore. here he is talking about putin. >> it is hard to tell, clearly losing the war in iraq and at home. >> greg: oh, my god, we are in trouble. >> iran, iraq, tomato, tomato. dems want kamala beside the president in case hoo falls, shoo is less a vice president and more a visiting angel. ♪

visiting angels, america's choiceis less a vice president more a visiting angel. ♪ less a vice president and morea visiting angel. ♪ is less a vice president and more a visiting angel. ♪ i care ♪ [laughter] >> america's choice in home care. >> greg: thank you. yes. [applause] >> greg: if only that was true, she would be useful. she is lacing his ensure, like a secada,her staff hates her. she is the janice dean of politicians. boo! >> boo! >> who told you? >> i know. >> greg: all the scuttlebutt. her chances of going from vp to p. aren't we supposed to reward success and not failure. she goes to show, you can be historic and still suck.

many things have made me proud to be at that podium during this historic moment. i'm a historic figure and i walk in history everyday. >> you're not supposed to tell people you're historic. other people tell you that you're historic, okay. and you are historic. you are the first press secretary to rely solely on the fifth amendment. meanwhile, as mayor of southbend, pete buttigieg presided over rise in crime, including record homicides. there would have been more drive-by shootings if not for the pot holes. -- godfather know fas out there. not many, apparently. all biden cared about, the dude married a dude and could be his

honeymoon. what could go wrong, write? did the teachers union force schools to stay closed and your kids can't read or wright anymore? sflefl then why not give randy wine garden a gig at the safety board. she has no security background but then again her face alone could scare off the wagner group. but you see a trend, don't you? it's as plain as the bolts in john fetterman's neck. i know. when the rest of us fail, something admittedly i know very little about, we take our lumps and we walk away. but when the left chosen ones flunk and, boy, do they of the, their careers defy georgiaity like jerry nadler's pants. look at that. how does that stay up? anthony fauci who presided over grants of u.s. tax dollars to the chinese lab that almost certainly invented covid will join the staff at georgetown as

a distinctive professor of infectious diseases. after all who's better at infectious diseases than the president of the fan club. and what do mayor bill de blasio and lori lightfoot have in common, other than making up one half of the adam's family? that's true [cheers and applause] >> greg: that's all right. more like two fifths. they're both teaching at harvard. >> oh. >> greg: you know the crime rate in those classes are going to sky rocket. i hope there's extra credit for public your nation. what about fired chase a went to berkeley law, and hillary clinton went to columbia's school of public affairs. public affairs.

[cheers and applause] >> greg: yeah, i'll just say them anyway. but it does sound lie a course her husband should be teaching. i mean, you could even lose the l and it would still work. lessen one would be the proper use of cigars. but, hey, in hillary's defense i hear she's a killer behind the podium, and in jeffrey epstein's jail cell. what are you booing for? look, we all know that academia is where lefty failures go to make future lefty failures but for all their education no one taught them the meaning of meritocracy. it's supposed to be one of america's basic principles inspires achievement that rewards as you can see and the nation gets stronger. ignore that you have a round robin of cronyism that erodes school, our government our leaders, but if america sur voices and competes with nations that actually sends kids to school we better stop protecting

and rewarding failures just because they check a box. but since i'm a glass half full kind of guy, and i am, if we do end up with four more years of kamala, at least we've always got the bongos. >> just look around. just look around. together. here. people of every background. i wish you could see what i'm looking at. people of every background, every age. from everywhere. together. [laughter]. >> period! >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! he has crumb pets and tea and crushes dems with glee fox news contributor douglas murray. she's a meteorologist and a urologist because she made

andrew cuomo wet his arrangements senior meteorologist janice dean. [cheers and applause]. >> greg: laugh and the world laughs with you cry and you're at one of his shows. founder of the loftus party.com, alex lee moyer. and finally her husband goes to a slaughter house for some peace and quiet. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: douglas, always a pleasure to see you. >> douglas: i wish i could say the same. >> greg: well that was unnecessary. so, janice. kidding. so what do you make of this trend? is it indeed a trend? basically this is what happens if you make the number one priority what a person looks like and not what a person does. >> douglas: yeah. i mean, internationally there's always this kind of joke, people always joked about american politicians being -- lacking in eloquents should we say.

quayle, reagan even back in the day. bush. every republican. this was always an international joke and always kind of ill suited. but the democrats, that should be the real joke. this are competing in inhe will sequence. every time you see one speaking in front of the other, you think wow they're taking lessons. remember when biden welcomed the new supreme court justice and said you can sum of america in one word and kamala harris is standing beside him and you can see in her eyes she's thinking oh, no. and he said i am fa fa tum himalayas. >> greg: that's exactly correct. >> janice: even kamala harris thought he hadn't quite got it right. and the other day biden is there when fetterman is talking and he's looking on and fetterman turns and he's rather surprised the president's beside him and calls the president collapsed

bridge. and even biden's like looking at him thinking, i'm not sure this is going so well. so i just don't really understand. then you have the whole kamala problem, even without bongos. >> greg: i was noticing even the bong 0ing are starting to wear off on the audience. they used to make them laugh now they want it to die. make the bongos go away. >> janice: i love them. >> greg: i do too penning 0s make everything better including other bongos. >> janice: that was the most interesting i've seen kamala harris on television. that didn't make my cringe and want to cower in the corner. when she became vice-president i was rooting for her a little bit. glass ceiling, female vice-president, next in line to the president. it doesn't matter what party, it was a moment for women. and then she opens her mouth. i apologize, but i can't -- it's hard. it's like a seinfeld episode. it's always about nothing. but she does it so well.

like she thinks she's doing well and the rest of us are like... >> greg: she is a giggle machine but she may end up having the last laugh. if president b croaks she's president and we're all screwed by the way did you get my present? >> i did not. >> greg: i sent you some denim bed sheets. [laughter]. >> i'll have to add them to my collection. >> greg: here's the thing, is it our fault it's so easy to make fun of her. it's kind of like what janice said, you're kind of rooting no for her but she's so bad. >> i was never routing for her. i feel like as a nation we're being punked right? somewhere ashton kutcher is like let's give them joe biden and see what they do now. and then with kamala wal a

ding-dong the visiting ainge of of debt who's just waiting. the only upside if something were to happen to joe and then kamala would get in we should all embrace her like crazy so we're all in on the joke. it would terrify our enemies. >> greg: true. >> michael: granted her speeches, we're going to have to whoa it knuckle through those. >> greg: it is like a turbulent flight when you listen to her speak you're holding on to the chair. >> michael: her state of the union address would be like days, um k, because as a nation, mmmk. thank you so much. our only hope is like if we did like a call and response thing like when you ga tomas and the priest says and be with you and everybody says it back. if america played along. so every time kamala went mmmk, as a nation we were like, mmmk. and that would terrify our

enemies. >> greg: you're starting to make it sound like it would be fun. kat have you ever been rewarded for failing. doesn't it bother you? we have to achieve to succeed >> kat: not only are they losers but also they're expensive losers. there are so many kids going to school going into debt to learn from losers. and it's just a horrible model but it's still working, you know, for the universities themselves but i think i figured out kamala. >> greg: what? >> kat: i think i finally figured it out. you know how we know from all these articles that are super well sourced and researched. she's a tyrant to work for. a total jerk. clearly what she's doing in these interviews and speeches is pretending to be happy and friendly. that gets confusing this is what she thinks a happy friendly person acts like. where was your case study, bonaroo? because she seems to be acting like a person artificially happy due to polly substance drug

abuse. >> greg: right. such a good point. like the person that always tries to be, ha ha, everybody loves me is always a monster. everybody says that about ainsley. >> kat: but that's why you made that joke about janice because janice is actually a nice person. my husband joined twitter for the first time a few months ago, people are mean on there, i don't know if you guys know that. but people say mean thingss about me that are horrible whatever. cam comes in and he's like twitter's awful. i'm like what. he says people are mean to janice. how can you be mean to janice dean. i'm like i know. >> greg: there's a song, how can you be mean to janice dean >> kat: i truly can't imagine it. >> greg: i can't, it's in my head right now >> kat: you really can't. >> greg: we have to move

gotcha. take that. whoa! bruh! i'm fine. that smack looked bad. not compared to the smack down i'm giving you. you sure you're, ok? you know you're down 200 points, right? lucky, she convinced me to get help. i had a concussion that could've been game over. in actual reality, you've only got one life. don't mess with your melon. if you hit it, get it checked.

we moved out of the city so our little sophie could appreciate nature. but then he got us t-mobile home internet. i was just trying to improve our signal, so some of the trees had to go. i might've taken it a step too far. (chainsaw revs) (tree crashes) (chainsaw continues) (daughter screams) let's pretend for a second that you didn't let down your entire family. what would that reality look like? well i guess i would've gotten us xfinity... and we'd have a better view. do you need mulch? what, we have a ton of mulch.

♪ >> greg: mayor adams wants a moment of silence so you'll forget the drugs and violence. yeah, mayor adams is requiring all public schools in nyc to provide students with mindful breathing exercises every day. yeah, it will help kids develop a new appreciation for the smell of urine. the mandated exercises involve 2-5 minutes of concentrated breathing. who knows if this helps but the teachers of course are hoping the gets the students in the mood for sex. perverts. pervert teachers i condemn you. supporters say it lowers stress improves mood and helps with learning, which will make the older boys better at shoplifting and beating up the elderly. mayor adams has been a pro moateder of meditation for a while even crediting it with helping him get elected.

i wonder if he thinks this is the school experience of the future. >> this is the school experience of the future. 2-5 minutes. think about that. we're not talking about hours. 2-5 minutes is a game-changer. >> greg: a game changer? maybe i'd say more cops and prisons would be a game changer but the snow instruction along with the yoga program are being hailed as the next great evolution in education. because who needs math or reading. sorry flexible students with strong lungs can more easily dodge gun fire while they're running home. janice, i actually do believe that breathing is good for you. if you don't breathe, you die. >> janice: right. >> greg: this is a scientific fact. >> janice: yes. why is it that he finally cares about our kids breathing when for two years they were masking them up and our kids couldn't breathe?

[cheers and applause]. >> janice: and, i can't wait to get the e-mail from the teacher going, your kids don't breathe properly in my class. f. >> greg: you know, i think i would be the kid in the class that would be farting making farting noises while everybody else is doing it. >> michael: right when it starts. right before the teacher says deep breath. there you go. >> greg: exactly >> kat: is that a good fart noise? come on, man. you're a comedian. >> michael: i went fog horn you went ripper. >> greg: that is a funny fart noise kat's making. it is funny, do it again [fart noise >> kat: thank you everyone. >> greg: people don't say we're on par with special report. have you ever seen them do a whole who can do a better fart

noise? >> kat: i'm breaking barriers for women on that one, too. >> greg: i imagine breathing must be hard for you sleeping under old newspapers. >> michael: it is. but luckily when big jim lights the trash can on fire, the smoke really helps. i about lost my mind when i saw new york city has a department of like yoga and mindfulness. there's some money well spent. what does that gig pay? i'll tell you who they need to give breathing lessons to? the parents who find out the city's going to teach their kided to [bleep] breathe. you're going to need that exercises when you're kid can't read or write and you're out a [bleep] ton of money and you're just like, hmm, how do i not kill the teachers. >> greg: also, kat, it's not a

bad thing to teach but there's an age appropriateness problem here. kids don't take this stuff seriously because there's no instant gratification. you can talk to them about money or dances or food. you can't talk about like breathing. they think they're going to live forever >> kat: yeah, yeah. as someone with anxiety disorder, not to brag, this stuff is really helpful. mindfulness, breeding. but you're right, i feel like kids probably won't take it that seriously. it's not the worst idea, it's two minutes or whatever, and if the school doesn't want to do it it probably would be real easy to not do it. someone checks in where's the breathing? you just missed it. we did it while you were in the bathroom. >> greg: what a terrible place to breathe though >> kat: school? >> greg: yeah. kids smell. i don't know if you remember being a kid but i went to an old boy's school and that place smelled like the worst bathroom in the worst baseball stadium in

the ninth inning after someone threw up. >> douglas: whatever happened to like recess, let kids go outside and be kids? like why do we keep putting this adult bs on children? it's insane. >> greg: your white privilege is disgusting. douglas do they have breathing in england or is it called something different? >> michael: we actually came up with it. [laughter]. >> michael: it was one of the many gifts we gave the world. >> douglas: it was actually invented in india and you guys stole it. >> greg: in your face. >> michael: yeah, i'm not going to get into a colonialism argument. it's interesting that at the same time the rest of the world is trying to produce very competitive people, we're focusing on teaching kids to breathe. my worry about this is, we should have a new rule in

america. every time anyone does anything like this we should be intensely suspicious of what they're not doing. like anytime a corporation says we're very big on trans non-binary people this month, we're going to look at your books very closely. we're going to look at where you're spending the money or hiding the money. we should be very, very suspicious. all of this is a way to hide something you're not doing. new york authorities, all the unions across the country, whenever they do this, when randi weingarten went to ukraine, she has no peace making, these never fought in an armed conflict but she goes to ukraine. we should immediately say, what are you hiding? what are you not doing in america? and every time that will show us gold, i guarantee it. >> greg: it's true. i mean it's like talking about breathing and plant-based diets is great but it's because that's because you can't talk about the stuff you're talking about.

>> michael: 7% reading abilities from districts, that's a crime. >> greg: what else can you say? so we just talk about that stuff. we have to move on

♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: yes, we're back! or so you think. this might be a dream. south korea proves age is just a number by making everyone one year younger. this is amazing. all south koreans just instantly became a quarter or two younger. and i know what you're thinking, greg, you must be south korean because you're looking younger every day. >> kat: they're laughing. >> greg: they're laughing because it's true. my youthfulness is as plain as the gravy on joy bay bay har's chin and i'm just talking about

the part you can see. they're adopting the international symptom of counting ages getting rid of the old way where citizens were deemed a year old as soon as they were born. which contrasts the north korean system where anyone above 1-year-old is deemed eligible for military service. so it's a good or bad news for south koreans who knows but if leo dicaprio goes to visit he'll have to do basic math in his head. the guardian reports some south koreans had been complaining using the old system made them seem like they were out of step with the world. and i would say that would be true if not for south korea's pride and joy the 2023 hyundai a lawn tra which is the world's most easy driving mid size sedan. finally -- trying to get some ads. some linked the age counting method to an ancient asian numerical system that didn't have the concept of zero.

so for our south korean viewers, here's wha honeymoon. a ze ro loo [laughter] >> greg: kat, i go to you first because you are women and women care about their age. how happy would you be to find out you're a year younger than you are now? would you go crazy >> kat: i would not care at all because i'm still decaying at the same rate. >> greg: but you have another year of decay >> kat: no. i'm still the same level of decomposed. i'm still on the same half to the slow march of death that we all are r just a different number doesn't change anything. >> greg: really? >> kat: no. >> greg: that's ridiculous. what if you found out you're a year older? >> kat: if i'm still me it doesn't matter. >> greg: it does matter because if you found out you got an extra year >> kat: if i got an extra year, they messed up my birth certificate indicate that i'm actually physically younger then yes that's exciting. because that means i'm not on the march i was. >> greg: that's the point i was

making. my goodness, it's true about women and math. what did you think i said by that. i was saying that -- >> kat: that would have hit harder if you were actually doing accurate math and i wasn't. >> greg: i was just saying you were good at math. my goodness, so many sensitive people here douglas, you would think they don't have a stiff upper lip like you. >> michael: i know. >> greg: anyway, i'm with you on india. >> janice: that was funny. >> greg: shouldn't accuracy of this be nine months? that when you're born you're nine months old? what is going on. >> michael: what? >> greg: you're in the womb for nine months. >> michael: we all have to subtract nine months instead of a year. that's a lot harder >> kat: we have to add nine months. aim he did math person here. >> michael: i don't see that work,ing, reminds me of the guy in france a couple years ago who

tried to be trans age. remember him? no one knew if it was the world's best troll or totally serious. he was in his 50s or 60s and he wanted to identify as being in his 20s because it worked better on hookup ads. and everyone was like, well, yeah, but nevertheless when you show up -- >> greg: it's a letdown. >> michael: he went to court saying if other people can change their sex i can change my age and now a whole nation is doing it. >> greg: i go on these apps and tell them i'm in my 20s and when we meet i go, oh, did you not see benjamin button? how dare you -- i'm reversing in age and i'm almost old but i'll turn into a baby shortly. let's go to bed. >> douglas: so look forward to that. >> greg: yeah. loftus you should tell somebody when your birthday is so maybe they'll buy you some clothes. >> douglas: i have a plan for

that coming up. i love this whole korean thing. you should be one, when you're born, bang, you're one. they shouldn't switch, they had a very good system going and that's good for the right to life people because that says, okay, starting now. but like the hard thing would be you have to video tape every time you have sex to know the exact moment. because the kid's going to be am i a capricorn or a libra? i'm like let's rewind. >> greg: you don't record that as is? >> douglas: no, i don't. >> greg: i feel like you're the kind of guy that would tape everything, you pervert. >> douglas: these chicks in korea need to know they just get the one year. right? because they were interviewing this one girl and she goes, i was about to turn 30 next year under the traditional system, but now i have some more time earned, i love it said a 27-year-old office worker. so she's a 27-year-old office worker who goes i was about to turn 30 next year. so i'm not too worried about the

asians anymore and the math skills. [cheers and applause] >> douglas: good thing we're learning how to breathe over here. >> greg: we're all about destroying stereotypes at this show. >> janice: can i just say something? >> greg: of course young lady. >> janice: to become a meteorologist you have to take math something called thermo dynamics. >> greg: oh, wow. is that hard? >> janice: it's very hard. >> greg: what do you use in thermo dynamics? is it algebra or calculus? >> janice: all of the above. lots of steps to get under the right answer. >> greg: underrated mathis trick. a lot of people forget about trick t i do algebra but what about rig. >> janice: but some girls -- >> greg: isn't trick one of palin's kids? >> yes. >> greg: neither here nor there. >> janice: i was going to say some girls are good at math. >> greg: of course. i like to bring up the stereo type that they aren't to challenge young women to get more involved in the math world. >> douglas: nicely done. >> greg: thank you. thank you. and coming up,

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♪ >> coast to coast with stories that matter most. you're watching local news with 59-time emmy award winner chet van jansen. and now here's chet. >> greg: all right, thank you. thank you. i want to thank everybody who' s been asking about chet van hansen's health. we've relayed those concerns to him but he is brain dead. so don't be giving money to that gofundme page unless the checks are made out to me because i am in charge of >> kat: why is his name van hansen now? >> greg: what was it? >> kat: jansen. >> greg: jansen. dam it. anyway >> kat: for the last seven months it's been jansen. >> greg: he's up to 70 emmys they don't really count because they're local but still everyone

shares a story from wherever, i judge it, vote on the winner and something happens. you know, i'm going -- you seem pretty excited kat >> kat: i am. >> greg: why don't you go first >> kat: midwest news baby. >> greg: yeah? what happened? >> kat: the corn in iowa is okay! [cheers and applause] >> kat: yeah. >> greg: wait, we have footage of the corn >> kat: no, no, no. do not demean this like some big city metropolitan guy, okay? it was a dry climate. they were thinking maybe the corn's not going to be okay. and, you know what? it is! all the sweet corn, the sweet corn is okay. but, you know, you thinking you're out of the woods you're not. a local farmer named mike from des moines who says he's more concerned about the next harvest which, by the way, is going to be in late august. and so i just think that we all need to keep in in our hearts and our minds and our thoughts andly keep everybody updated

order the corn. >> greg: you know what's great? i love seeing corn like the first time. i don't like seeing it the second time. >> kat: oh, i guess it. >> greg: you know what i snippety it takes the charm -- i don't want to see -- takes the charm out of the first time >> kat: can't imagine what that's going to do to iowa's economy. >> greg: they've known about the corn story since day one. all right douglas >> douglas: i'm going to raise the tone. as you've sometimes mentioned i'm from england and we have a national sport there you probably haven't heard of called cricket and it takes about ten times as long as baseball and is about 50% less exciting. but no less we're addicted to it and there's a very interesting thing today because the ashes were just happening, big cricket match and these lunatics keep going around gluing themselves to painting and disspoiling

monuments. their latest thing is to stand at sports things and throw orange dust and they did this to the community recently who just stood by but not the cricketers, graying. no, no, no. the wick keeper, i'll explain that later, the wick keeper for england carried one of these [bleep] and that's the first time i've seen that happened and i want more wicket keepers. >> greg: that's amazing. >> michael: >> douglas: mine was better than katz. there you go. >> greg: this was from the harry potter book right? >> douglas:. >> douglas: no. nobody flies in cricket or you would watch it. >> greg: what are the ashes? >> douglas:. >> douglas: it's such a long story. >> greg: i don't want to know. >> douglas: you're only asking out of politeness. >> greg: exactly. all right, loftus.

when you're at the home and you're doing your chores, you have time to read the paper you're sleeping under. >> michael: i read the next -- well, it's the previous day's paper because it is a blanket that night and you wake up and you go what happened yesterday? then you open up a can of beans and you play your harmon ca. >> greg: that's amazing. >> michael: i'm very happy to announce that cincinnati ohio just named june 30th, that's going to be taylor swift day. yes, yes. she's going to get a key to the city, the whole nine yards. now, why do i pick this story and not something exciting like corn? because this is phase one in taylor swift falling in love with me. mark the date. because this is my plan. like i'm going to reverse it. i'm going to write songs about her and then i'll be a pop star and then she'll get a taste of

her own medicine. buckle up taylor, i'm coming. >> greg: yeah. you know what? you have a chance because she's dated every single person except a homeless man. she needs to tick that off her bucket list. all right, janice, hit me with your story. >> janice: toronto canada they had a mayoral race and the last mayor had an affair with someone half his age and the wife found out so he had to resign and so they had an election and over 100 people became candidates. and i didn't realize this, but it only takes $250 canadian, which is like $0.25 in canada and you don't have to run with a political peracutes you just need 25 signatures to become a candidate. so a hundred people and a dog became a candidate to run for mayor. and this is mollie, the dog that ran. isn't she cute? and mollie ran, she wanted to

save the other dogs from the salt in the winter time, right? stop the salt assault on the city roads. i don't know how many votes she got but she lost, which is too bad, because i think a dog could really save toronto. [cheers and applause]. >> michael: that's already a disney movie. the dog that ran. >> janice: corn! >> greg: i'm going to have to say that bitch wins and i'm referring to the female dog so don't write your letters. >> janice: i like that. >> greg: up next

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♪ >> a story in five words ♪ >> greg: five words: moms ashes given to pink. ♪ >> is this your mom? i don't know how i feel about this. >> greg: i don't know. at first douglas i thought it was a fan threw a bag of their late mom's ashes.

obviously it's late. >> douglas: yeah, they didn't throw their living mother. >> greg: that would be great. >> douglas: preey mated mother of pink. >> greg: this is in london by the way. is this what brits do? by the way i don't think that's the most offensive thing on the stage. >> douglas: i don't think when we shuffle off this mortal coil that our greatest hope should be that our descendants throw their ashes at pink. i have a greater set of desires than that. >> greg: it is kind of funny, though, janice. it's kind of selfish to expect someone to take care of your ashes. >> janice: right. >> greg: so she should immediately have just torn open the bag and thrown it. >> janice: that's what i would have done. >> greg: this is not my problem. >> janice: because clearly that's what the mother would have wanted to get pink -- >> greg: what if she hated pink. what if the lady hates her mother so much that she threw her ashes at pink because she hates pink. >> douglas: what if it's worse and pink mistook the ashes and snorted them

>> greg: oh, my god. >> janice: not. >> greg: they're offended by that. how can you watch this show and be offended. >> janice: remember the old days when ozzy assess born would go on stage and they would throw up a bat and we eat the bat. >> greg: i think he did it once. get your ozzy stories right janice, i can't believe you're a meteorologist. >> janice: but it's true. >> greg: tom jones, women used to throw their underwear up at him, remember that? you can't do that because you don't wear underwear. [laughter]. >> michael: maybe that's what it was intended to do. maybe pink has a horrible self image nouchlt everybody else is getting panties thrown at them. here's my dead mom's ashes. this is going to sound horrible so everybody just buckle up. but i think this is why you don't want women like in charge of big stuff. because when push comes to shove, they don't know what to do. right? like you throw a dude -- you throw a dude rock star

afters and he's going to snort it or he's going to sprinkle it or he's going to bathe in it instantaneously and pink's like, i don't know what to do with this. she like locked up. thank god that's not how you declare war in england, you know? i throw my mother's ashes at you. >> greg: i find that an incredible leap to go from pink as an indictment on all women. but okay. kat? >> kat: this is really messed up to do this. it is very messed up to throw your mother's ashes at pink during her best song. >> greg: yeah >> kat: this one and don't let me get me are the best songs. don't throw the ashes then. throws the ashes when the artist is like, all right, who wants to hear some new music. nobody does. >> janice: do we know that they're ashes? it could have been shake and bake. >> greg: that's true. i miss a good shake and bake. >> janice: me too. >> michael: maybe that was mom's

final wish. it's a fine ra and i helped! [cheers and applause

>> carley: a fox news alert, hundreds of flights delayed and cancelled already this morning with disruptions expected through the holiday weekend. we're asking how long the flightmare will last. >> todd: daniel perry pleads not guilty in the case of jordan neely. >> carley: history made on the diamond. >> grounded to third. donaldson has it. there he is.