family. kate, we love you. we're going to miss you so much. my whole family will miss you. thank you for everything you've done for this show, for all of us and for me. best of luck to you. all right, everybody. have a wonderful independence day. i'm off next week. remember, it is america now and forever. greg gutfeld takes it all from here. yeah, i'm not a hologram. yes, it's friday. you know what that means. we start a conga line in time square and pray we don't get stabbed. okay. leave it in. let's welcome tonight's guests.

her only threesome is with smoky and the bandit. i checked it with her. he knows what good tv is but decided to do our show any way. rob law. people love his shows because they can catch up on lost sleep. comedian joe davito. finally, he buys two seats when he flies. one for him and one for his belt. my massive side kick. yes. all right. before we get to these news stories, it's friday. let's do this. >> greg's leftovers. mmm. >> tasty, hot water. ahh.

it's leftovers. i read the jokes we didn't use this week. it's my first time reading them. if they suck, i get to kill anyone i want. a group of nude cyclists exposed themselves to children at the seattle pride parade. coincide coincidentally, it's the first time those cyclists were exposed to exercise. when asked if cycling in the buff would be painful, lance armstrong replied, my ball would be killing me. all right. after the president was seen with strap marks on his face, the white house confirmed that he wears a c-pap mask for sleep apnea. the cleaning staff confirms he suffers from sleep crapnia. three jokes in, we got a poop joke. new york mayor is man dating two to five minutes of mindful

breathing exercises to students every day. turns out that the average high school senior is only breathing at a third grade level. that's funny because it's true. robert f. kennedy junior released video of his pumping iron shirtless. while he's hitting the weights, others will stick with the stair master. instead of saying beaches and if you weren't there, they word would be on tip of your tongue too. a recent study found more men are being diagnosed with eating disorders because of porn, which makes sense so no one never eats the pizza that gets delivered. liz warren blasted the supreme court for declaring affirmative action unconstitutional. he's been carrying a grudge against white people ever since she was exposed as one.

let's hope she doesn't go on the warpath. don't take those blankets. several danish sailors were rescued after their boat cap capsized with a group of whales. they released this image. terrible people. you're terrible. this insult conservativism. it was reported this week that the earth's axis has been shifting. scientists are asking certain folks to move slightly to the left to even things out. just try to do a whole hour. indiana jones and the dial of destiny opens in theaters today.

it's kind of a let down. the dial of destiny turns out to be the life alert button around harris ford's neck. supreme court just ruled that cl colleges and universities can no longer take race into consideration for admission. [ applause ] instead, they should admit students based on which ones are most willing to have sex with the professor. where's the applause now? you bunch of perverts. according to a new poll, kamala harris has the lowest rating of any vp service in history. her secret service name is kill mead. so mean to kamala. finally dr. fauci is joining faculty at georgetown university calling the choice a no brainer. during the pandemic, that's what the country was calling him.

all right. not bad batch. some were obvious, but so was i. if you're tflying for independence day, you better get down and pray. no travel delay is complete without excuses from mayor pete. already thousands of u.s. passengers, it's the worst thing to happen to the airline in industry. too soon? i don't think so. while airlines and other officials seem quick to blame bad weather, the real culprit is sufficient like lingering staff shortages. u.s. domestic airline capacity down 10% compared to pre-pandemic rates. it makes it harder to find new seat for passengers whose origin

g al flights have been cancelled. still fetching as ever. he'll fetch your luggage. >> nice. >> thank you. in maemo understaffing and lack of experience was blamed at the faa or faa. that's how you say it, faa, which means some of the responsibility for this mess has to fall on the u.s. secretary of train wrecks. if this guy is in charge much longer, we'll need to go back to covered wagons. he was quick to dismiss criticism by saying that weather was still the major culprit. figures that family with two dads would blame mother nature.

>> rob, you sleep in airports often. you don't have flights scheduled. >> i don't have a home. >> you're the most well dressed hobo. >> if you dress okay, never complains you took a crap on the corner. the rich guy did it. it's fine. i'm sure he knows somebody. >> you still have the bend on the stick? >> not on a stick. >> do you think they blaming the right people? >> blaming everybody, yeah. i do. the constant rearrangement of the rules of travel. everything is so miserable. sometimes it's like, take off your shoes. then it's like don't take off your shoes. now they go through the cabin and close the shades or open the shades. >> they close them to keep it cool. >> that i get.

they open them when you land. that's gnaw ra new rule that ap. lot of this is about covid. we will be working out the [ bleep ] we did during covid for the next ten years. we really did a number on ourselves or the federal bureaucrats did a number on us. not just travel but schools. we raised up generation of kids to be ted bundy. we'll be paying the price for ten years. this is what this is about. all the bureaucrats trying to pretend it's the weather. we shot a hole in our economy for two years for nothing. >> exactly. i think you are the only person that will say what the other big problem is. big problem is usually in lulu lemon pants. >> a cupouple sprinkled in the

audience. they have to tell their whole life story to front counter. we're all delayed. okay. it's not a conspiracy theory. not because your maga tattoo on the small of your back. the flight is delayed. we want to blame buttigieg which is easy to do. the man wore dress shoes at a train wreck site. it's cheap people buying tickets. spirit and jet blues. not beautiful delta. not delta. they better get me home tonight but i will have a different thing to say. people buying all these cheap ticket online. you get a $29 ticket and they bump yours for someone who paid full price and it's a conspiracy. yeah, your cheap. there, i said it. >> you did. when i was a child and i think

when you were growing up in the south, they did have air travel, did they not? >> i'm going to get that promotion a lot sooner than i thought. fire away. >> i mean, it was different. we always paid full price for a ticket and you wore pants. you know what i mean? it was a different world. >> no, i took the bus. >> i wasn't far off. >> we're all soft. nobody remembers greyhound. nobody remembers vshaving to we a bandana on your eyes so you don't have to look at donny dahmer across the aisle. t staring at your legs or holding a empty frito bag over you nose

to try to hide the toilet in the back. it's not the faa. it's not the airlines. it's the human beings on the plane that make it so miserable. he has his shoes off and his damp socks off and has managed to pull out his sweaty vittles wrapped in saran wrap. that's flying. >> joe, as a comedian, this is the generic wheel house. what's up with the airline industry? >> you know someone has ridden a lot on greyhound when they use the word vittles. that's a tell. i'm concerned about this united ceo because they are having the worst reaction to this. he was describing the preparation.

he said we're all hands on deck. that's what you say on a boat. if they know there's going to be water landings, maybe they should let us know before hand. i don't think on the titanic they thought we got to get this thing off the ground. the flight situation is bad. we're worried too much about the regular passengers. i think we're forget ting the real victims and that's the drug mule. imagine your flight is delayed. you have to two kilos of cocaine shoved up your butt. there's fireworks going off. it's bad for the digestion. >> how does a drug mule handle that kind of thing. imagine your flight gets cancelled. >> right. >> it's like you're coming from where ever. who knows where it comes from. let's say mexico. >> say colorado. >> they cancel your flight and does that mean you have to poop the stuff out and do it all over

again. does that mean you have to poop it out and eat it again? where do i sign up? >> that's the only time you say, let's see what spirit air has to offer. >> i never thought of that. you can't keep it inside you. >> fulltime out. did anyone here think what do you do when you're running late? do you reeat-eat the drugs? you worry about the bullet t that's going to get in your head. drug mule, greg. >> in your universe, which any further want to visit, a drug mule is somebody who says i won't do that. they draw a line at that. they'll do all that but not, if it's late, i want my mule voucher. bigger problems.

number ten. mad you think didn't i. up next, as bud sells tumble, dylan is ready to rumble. eah. no. there's my little marzipan! [ laughs ] oh, my daughter gives the best hugs! we're just passing through on our way to the jazz jamboree. [ imitates trumpet playing ] and we wanted to thank america's number-one motorcycle insurer -for saving us money. -thank you. [ laughs ] mara, your parents are -- exactly like me? i know, right? well, cherish your friends and loved ones. let's roll, daddio! let's boogie-woogie! generalized myasthenia gravis made my life a lot harder. but the picture started changing when i started on vyvgart. vyvgart is for adults with generalized myasthenia gravis who are anti-achr antibody positive.

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thank you. thank you. thank you. should bud light be sad for making dylan feel bad? dylan, the trans influencer who needs beer goggles to look in the mirror is speaking up about the bud light fiasco. the wax slammed the company for how it handled the whole thing. by thing, we don't mean

mulvaney's penis. dirty minds. it's the first time dylan is complaining about the scandal. more proof that he's not a woman. >> you're right. >> how offensive can this get? do you really want to know what gets dylan's panties in bunch? >> nope. >> one thing i will notal tolee people saying about me is i do not love beer. i do. i was waiting for the brand to reach out but they never did. >> bud light was busy firing every single employee who had anything to do with you. >> they even had spuds mckenzie put down.

yeah. talk about a black eye. dylan claims he's scared to leave his house, been ridiculed in public, been followed by people. he knows what it feel like to be bryan. that's two now. here's more. >> for company to hire a trans person and not publicly stand by them in worse, in my opinion, than not hiring trans person at all because it gives customers to be as hateful as they want. >> i don't remember asking a beer company for permission to be hateful. does bud light or any other company owe mulvaney anything after you cost the company 20 billion. why are they supposed to apologize to you? usually to waiste that much cas

you'd have to hire chris wallace. nobody should hate trans people for being different. the fact just is dylan would be nothing without the recently released identity holy embraced by the media pretending to be a little girl has made him a very rich whatever. since when is company responsible for the actions of a handful of its customers. i mean when a woman feels too turned off for sex, they don't arrest brian stelter. it will never end. all right. you are actually a real woman. it seems to me that we, in media trans women are actually more valued than real women. does that bother you? does any of this bother you? has everything been said about

mulvaney that's been said? >> if you're going to fight back at bud, at least just -- >> be a real woman. >> right. and say, you know what, i made my money. i'm still making money and what happened. you got to shake the tobasco in the open wound. you have to stand over the ex-boyfriend who wronged you when you come long and he's fallen and broken his leg and laugh at him and walk it off and not help him at all. >> you got to be like in the scene in dirty harry when clint eastwood is standing over andy robinson and grinding his heel into the gunshot wound. >> exactly. >> the that a hypothetical? >> maybe. >> the less we know, the better off we are. >> but bud is worse. bud puts out this statement. why say anything?

here is some of it. we're committed to programs and partnerships and we value safety and privacy of and brewing beers important. of course, anything, you know what, you can't even choke down this dumpster sausage with the beer that they make. anything that you say from here on out should just be belched. >> yes. i had a friend who could do that. i don't think anything ever came of him, but boy we still remember old steve and how he could belch the alphabet. r.i.p., steve. alcohol poisoning. he got to y. joe, you watch this and looking at me, you said you definitely would do dylan mulvaney. that's what you said. >> i don't think that was the message i was trying to say.

i think it's great how bud and an anheuser-busch have no idea how to react to this. they were supposed to bring back the old brinkers where you're at a barbecue and there's a bunch of men and they are sweaty and cooling off their vaginas with a nice cold bud. no one knows what's supposed to be happening. this is ridiculous because dylan mulvaney talking about representing women. they are looking at you because you're prancing around like a fool looking like audrey hepburn with a 5:00 shadow. this person doesn't represent women, trans women. this is narcissist. it's a fraud. when you saw him on the drew barrymore, they were praying to each other. they worship. >> you coined the phrase it's

woman face. fulfilling all the stereo type of a woman and it becomes more like a minstrel show or a spinstrel show. >> it's a [ bleep. [ muted [ show is what it is. >> we got to end the censorship bleeping thing. >> it's friday. the boss is sleep at 8:00, not because he's old. loo i'd like that stricken from the record. dylan is playing character. that's the issue that america is having because other brands of alcohol, i know smirnoff has done several campaigns with trans gender women and drag queens. there was no issue. you can't get that. let's go black face. if joe put on a hat back ward an

got a tin belt and painted hi face tanner and was yo, i'm tyrus. i got to rob a bank and i got nine babies and they'll pay for them. some you have are laughing. shame on you. you would be like, that's not talent. he's black face. every one is uncomfortable with that. they like to enjoy good evening, i'm black face. anyone? see. it's not good. why would you enjoy woman face where they pretend to be the dumbest [ bleep ] on the planet. women don't know what's going on in march. who do you think is making us nacho nachos while we're watching the game? that's the truth. can we be truthful for once. he's a dude pretending to be girl but he's spent no time with women. he's acting like anything he's seen on tv or porn hub and friending to be a fantasy. that's woman face.

period. boo him every time he does it. >> rob, i think as i was reading the intro to this, i was going in and out of whatever pronouns i felt. >> yeah, you were going back and fo forth. >> i'm bi-pronoun. are you compelled to give the pronoun or not? >> i work my way around. i do anything but the pronoun. >> i try to say the name. >> dylan mulvaney. is this dylan's purse? is this dylan's microphone? i don't know how many summers the good lord will let me have. >> i say 12. >> thank you. any number. i just don't want to talk about dylan mulvaney ever again.

i just don't know what's going to happen to me. dylan mulvaney is the answer to a trivia question five years from now. i want to get to there. remember dylan mulvaney. i want to be in that part where we're like, yeah. whatever happened? he has a different career, i guess. >> where's the beef? they've been asking dylan that too. you might think twice about our life advice. known for loving the outdoors. known for getting everyone together. no one wants to be known for cancer, but a treatment can be. keytruda is known to treat cancer. fda-approved for 16 types of cancer, including certain early-stage cancers.

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we pretend like nothing ever happened. here we go.

first, letter, have you met a person you were a fan of only to have your opinion change? let's go to you rob because you were in the entertainment industry. i love it when you tell me stories. >> i think greg gutfeld. it's a joke. it's friday. it's a joke. i've met people that i was afraid of that i thought, oh, god. this is going to be scary and they turned out to be really nice people. i've heard the stories if you met somebody that i understand are psycho path but i never had that experience. >> i think you're lying. >> i am. >> he's still working. give him a break. >> i got to right. >> let the man make a living. >> hair treatment alone on the beard is expensive. >> it's not even human. >> that's not just for men. it's just for gramps.

>> time out. i'm sorry. if this is football, i'll throw a flag. if it was just for men, it wouldn't be gray and you laugh any way. >> we've all had our experience, how about you. somebody that you thought you were fan of and your opinion changed? >> long list. american dream dusty rose who was one of my closest mentors and stuff. when i first met him, i hated him. i loved him as a child. when i got chance to meet him, bill was like the american dream is coming in today. you want to meet him? i was like, that would be awesome. i'm all excited and waiting in the office. i say mr. dream, mr. rhodes. he walked in and said you a

star. i don't know. i only talk to stars, baby and turned around and walked out. i went, man. [ bleep ] him, man. i stood there. i didn't cry. i was heated. the second time we met, i gave it back to him. i only talk to stars, baby. >> joe, you've opened for a lot of comics. you've opened for the openers of a lot of openers. you've dot a lot of open mics. >> you just keep working your way lower and lower. >> you live outside in the open. >> do not take a blanket from him. >> give me name. >> i found that usually famous people put in a lot of effort to keep me from meeting them. layers put in place. i remember when i open for gilbert godfrey. people don't know as crazy as he

was, he was painfully shy and he wouldn't make eye contact and he wouldn't speak. i said hello and he nodded. i thought i'm not going to sit in the green room with him not talking. we found we had three things that we were like were italian zombie movie, sharks and the movie show girls. when he went on stage the people said we never heard him talk to anyone that long that he didn't know. what were you talking about? i said we were talk about the movie show girls. they said maybe we're not going to book you anymore. >> well, i think you know you have one. you have a few. >> i have a -- well, every celebrity i've ever met who i was really excited to meet disappointed me because i'm a nudger. i conjured in my head they were immediately going to be my best friend and invite me toover to their house. we would bond and that never

happens. >> you know why? because you're terrifying. >> i'm repellant. i'm always disappointed, pretty much. occasionally somebody is nice. >> you want to dgive one name. >> the dude from scar face that came on the show one time. that guy. what was his name? manny. >> i think he had a drinking problem. >> what do you want like nasty stuff? people who were jerks. van morrison. he kicked the entire blind boys of alabama out of the green room. they were blind. blind.

he had to have the green room to himself. >> did they know where to go? >> to be fair they don't know whether they're in the green room or a regular room. >> well done. [ applause ] all right. coming up leaders with guilty feelings are less inclined to dirty dealings. somedays, i cover up because of my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. ♪(uplifting music)♪ ♪nothing is everything♪ i'm celebrating my clearer skin... my way. with skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. in another study, most people had 90% clearer skin, even at 5 years.

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a story in five words. >> five words. guilty makes a good leader. joe, a new study says people who feel more guilt is less likely to be corrupted by power when they become leaders. >> that's why the catholic church never has any corruption.

it's all the guilt we feel. i know that. i was raised catholic. i remember them bringing me in for confession. i was like sorry about all those murders i committed. i'm never tempted. i've never been offered a bribe. it's one of the perks of having nothing to offer. >> that's true. you can't help anybody get ahead. that was really mean, even for me. rob. >> i have wondering what the pre-set. you are guilty of being adorable. sorry. >> that makes me feel so uncomfortable. >> they're laughing. >> i read the study. i feel like the study is stupid. it's misspelled but they asked people, they found people who felt guilt and said would you take a bribe. no, i wouldn't take bribe. one way you know is they say

under no circumstances would i take bribe. that's how you know somebody has done it. i did not steal that money in your purse. you know that person did it. the studies, i don't think it means anything. i think if you are elected to public office, you will take a bribe. that's how you know that you're a criminal because you have been elected to public office in the united states. >> exactly. you're corrupted the moment you decide to do it. i grew up thinking i would be arrested for something. i think it was catholic 12 years. are you driven by this secret guilt feel that you might have done something horribly wrong? maybe dismembering in drifter. clearly in california in 1986. >> maybe. the right amount of rocks in pockets. >> this is out loud.

you're saying this out loud. >> you got to work on that inner monologue. >> guilt makes good leaders. it comes after you already screwed somebody. it's brief. >> you stole the money. guilt and you're distracted by the roar of the engine. >> so much better after your vomit. >> the roar of the engine from the stolen lambo. >> you can still keep the money. >> i really did like the phrase. after the shaftage. i think that will be the title of my autobiography. >> you ever feel guilty, tyrus?

>> no. i have a wife so i'm reminded of all my mistakes. i don't need guilt. i got her always telling me. this was a stupid study. every one says no until it's put in their face. >> yeah. >> oh, no, i would never take a bribe. $100,000. listen, obviously, this is a real issue. i will not accept this $90,000. i demand you take this $80,000 back now. this $55,000 on the table is an insult to me and the american people. this $16.42 on this table, you think for one second is going to sway my vote to my constituents, you're out of my mind. looks like you owe me 7. >> up next, if you're still awake, this segment makes the

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welcome back. we're beat, so you're in for a treat. it's time for

♪ nobody's watching ♪ ♪ it means we can do whatever we want ♪ ♪ nobody's watching but you ♪ >> nice. nobody's watching because it's friday night before the fourth of july but our very sexy fans. nothing is prepared. we're going to shoot the breeze. i mentioned you, joe earlier in week about your mirror getting stolen. the irony of his mirror being stolen. any way. what happened? >> my beloved mirror, it's horrifying. >> where was your mirror? >> i keep it on my desk. i come in on monday and i'm humiliated. i'm disrespected and i find out my mirror has been stolen. i keep this on my desk so i can

see that no one is sneaking up on me. >> he's not kidding. >> i try to get limhim all time. >> somebody stole it. do you know how much one of these cost? >> how much? >> i don't know. i got it from the dumpster in my apartment complex. it was stolen by another show. i'm not going to name any names. an apology was given and accepted. there is an intern, i suggested sharia law. my mirror is back in time for the long weekend so i can spend it gazing at myself. >> why was it stolen? >> they needed to look at themselves some more. it wasn't adequate mirrors for makeup so they had to steal my property. they had to violate me. this was the reflective one where it's bigger on the other side. >> wait a minute. she gave it back and you accepted the apology.

you can't say steal anymore. you have to say boarrrow. >> i can. >> you can't have it both ways. >> why not? i was suffered an injure and redress has been made. >> the most interesting thing about the mirror is greg does not appear in it. >> not for a price. >> you're a vampire on spec. >> i don't get out of bed for anything less than an onion. >> does anybody hate people who ask obvious questions like i do? greg, what are you doing? sitting there. anybody hate that? >> i just hate people whether they are asking questions or not. >> that covers everything if you just hate everybody. everybody is included. >> it's not racist at all. >> am i going to have time for

my mole check? >> there's usually a doctor watching. get close to the monitor and i think he's in indiana will count your mole. >> what if i wanted amateurs to look. >> you want amateur mole detection. >> i believe you can find those on the internet. people who will search your body for moles are on the internet. >> people are right here. >> only fans. >> only moles. all right. don't go away.

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vison changes, or eye pain occur. if you have copd ask your doctor about breztri. mara, are you sure you don't want -to go bowling with us tonight? -yeah. no. there's my little marzipan! [ laughs ] oh, my daughter gives the best hugs! we're just passing through on our way to the jazz jamboree. [ imitates trumpet playing ] and we wanted to thank america's number-one motorcycle insurer -for saving us money. -thank you. [ laughs ] mara, your parents are -- exactly like me? i know, right? well, cherish your friends and loved ones. let's roll, daddio! let's boogie-woogie!

we're out of time. happy 4th. i'm greg gutfeld. love you america. happy 4th. good evening. welcome to america's late news, fox news @ night. i'm mike emmanuel in washington, d.c. in for trace gallagher. breaking tonight, a blistering state department report about the united states chaotic and deadly withdrawal from afghanistan cause both biden and trump administrations for numerous mistakes made during the draw down. explosive new claims from house republicans tonight about pandemics, dr. an no -- anthony fauci.