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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  July 1, 2023 1:00am-2:01am PDT

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the extended ingraham angle family. kate, we lov familye you. mis we're going to miss you so much. my whole family is going to miss you. thank you for everythingyou.thae done for this show for all ofnd us and for me personally. and best of luck to you. all right, everybody, have a wonderfuright, el day. i'm off next week. but remember, it is america no w and forever. >> and greg gutfeld. he takes it all from here. t i'm not. . >> yes, it's friday. you know what? thatt . we start at conga line in times square and pray we don't stabbed. leave it in. >> so let's welcome tonight's guest.
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her only threesome was with smokey and the bandit. he'll co-host ofs guests bottome on fox business, dagen mcdowell. >>some i i in with her. w he knows what good tv is buthais decided to do our show anyway. >> tv writer and producer rob lowe. people love his shows because they can catch up on lost sleep . >> comedian joe devito right there. and finally,e he buys two seats when he flies. one for hid onm and one for his belt. my massive sidekick in the helicopter, terry, at all. >> right, before we get to these news stories friday, so let's do this. greg's leftovers. mm. tasty hot water. oh. oh, it's leftovers where i readw
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the jokes. we did news this week. and as always, it'eet times my t time reading them. so if they , i get to kill anyone. i want. >> a group of cyclists expose themselves to children. de the seattle pride parade. coincidentally, it's the first time those cyclists were exposed to exercise. re and when asked if cycling the buff would be painful, lance armstrong replied, my ball would be killing me. all right. after the presidenafter tht seee with strap marks on his face, the white house confirmed that he a cpap mask for sleep apnea ,while the cleaning staff alsoe confirmed he suffers from sleep crappier. . three jokes in we got a joke. >> new york mayor eric adams i is mandating schools to offer
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2 to 5 minutes of mindful breathing exercises to studentg every day. yeah, it turns out that the average high school senior is only breathinou averageg a ts leve ol. ause that's funny, because it's true. robert f kennedy juniornior released a video of him pumping iron shirtless. rek that. >> while he's hitting the weights. others will stick to the inile e a recent episode of the view. instea's d saying beaches.g be whoopi said . and ifac you work there, that word would be on the tip of your tongue to. >> a recent study found more men are being s with eatin disorders because of, which makes sense since no one ever eats the pizza that gets deliverea thatetd through a len. >> warren blasted the supreme courg affirmativen action unconstitutional. she's been carrying a grudge us white people, ever since she was exposed as one
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. s expo let's hope she doesn't go on shd the warpatoeh. >> oh, yeah don't take those blankets. t take t several danish sailors were rescued after their boat capsized from a collision with a group of. the danish coast guard warned other vessels to be on the lookout by releasing this image coming. terri terrible people. you're terriblble. >> oh, this insult conservatism . >> i it was reported this week that the earth's axis has been shifting doing so. a and even things out. scientists are asking certain folk ms to slightly to the lefta just try to do a whole hour. h >> indianaou jones and the dial
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of destiny opens in theaters today. it's kind of a let a let down. the dial of destiny. turns out to be the life alert button around. >> harrison ford's neck. t ju supreme court has ruled that colleges and universities can no longer race intos consideration for admission. apu instead, they should admitse. na students based on which ones are most willing to have with the professoh r. yeah. where's the applause now, huh? a bunc nowh of. >> according to a new poll, kamala harris, the lowest approval rating of any vp in history. >> she's still unpopular lowes. >> her new secret service code name is kilmeade. kil so mean to kamala. >> finally, dr. fauci is joining the faculty at georgetown universit georgety, e the choice a no brainer. coincidentally, duringr.
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the pandemic, that's what the country was calling him. all right. yeah, not a bad, bad. some were obvious, but so was i. if you're flying independenceerg day, you better get down and pray. and no travel delayset down and withoutl excuses from mayor pete. withy. relde and already thousands of us airline passengers were stranded by flight cancellations and delays. it's the worst thing to happen to the airline industry since hindenburg installed that wood burning pizza oven too soon. i don't think so.? but while airlines and other qut officials seem quick to blame bad weather, the real culprit seems to be old fashionedri bureaucracy. stuff like internal communications and lingering staff shortages from the pandemic. in fact, u.s. domestic capacityc is still down 10% compared to pre-pandemic rateoms. and the debt makes it harder to find new seats for passengers whose originao find l
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flights have been canceled. but when upside when you're told that you can'twhoser get checked bags for days, at least, you know sam brinton can't steal them. yeah, still fetching as ever. he'll fetch your luggage. nice. >> yeah. nice. thank you. meanwhile, in a memo to staff earlier this week, united airlines ceo scott kirby blamed understaffing and lack a of experience at the faa or far that's how you said far, which means some of the responsibility for this mess has to fall l on the ushis secretary of train. >> rex. if this guy is in chargeguy is, how much longer we'll need to go back to covered wagons. the budad was quick to dismiss the criticism by saying that whethe g r we're still the majorr culprit figures that a family with two dads would blame mother nature would say, rob,
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you sleep in airports often, you don't even have flights scheduled. i don't i don't have a home. but you do schetet have >> yes, exactly.on you're the most well-dressed hobo't havhome on the eastern s. if you dress okay. nobody ever complain s that, you know, you took a in the corner. >> they think the rich guy. dide it. i guess that's fine. and he. i'm sure he knows somebody. yes, yes, yes. >> yl have the bindleick? on the stick? >> not on a stick now. okay. so do you think this is overwrought? do you think they're blamingu tn the right people? >> yeah, the baloney. everybody. everybody. yeahrybody, ye, i actually do. >> but i think that were two things. one is that konst rearrangement of the rules of travel, like everythingl. so miserable, like sometimes it's like, take off your shoes that is like, don't take off s like your shoes. >> yes. and then do you know? so they were like, now they go e through the the cabithadn and. closed the shades and they open the shades.
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>> they closed the y close themm to keep it cool. >> and then i again, they open them when you land for some that's a new rule. they just disappeared. so there's all that. but this is i meanle that, to be serious for a minute, a lot of this is is about covid. we are going to be working wil t the way we did during covid foro the next ten years. >> we really did a number on ourselves or actually the federal bureaucrats did a number on us and not just travelrave but schools. you know, we raise rates of generation of kids to be basically ted bundbundy.y yeah,e going to be paying the price for ten years and this is what this is about. and likeat thi we're all, you k, all the bureaucrats trying to pretend that it's the weather. is thi ts, is that now it's like we shot a hole through w our economy for two years for nothing. >> yeah, exactly. all right, tyra, i go to you,e y because i think you are the only person that's going to say what the other big problem is and their big problem usually in lululemonobl pants. >> yepis. >> i see. there's a couple sprinkled in the audience after they start>>a yelling at tyra.
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are you some who have to telle their whole life story to the front counter? >> yes.e al okay. well, we're all we're all delayed okay. yes. not a conspiracy theory. okay. mag not because you're maga tattooed on the somali. your bacoo k slides delay. we want to blame voodoo jazz, tg which is easy to do. the man wore dress shoes at a train wreck site. is it. hoes >> but it's cheap ticket buying people's fault. yeah, keep buying them spirits and the jetblue's not beautiful suite. >> delta. not delttickets.spirita. delta. who i want my love. better get my tonight becauseino i will have a different thing to say next time. >> back on. but it's really it's say uyin people buying all these cheap tickets online. you gea $2t a $29 ticket. som yeah. and then they bump yours for someone who paid fuleod l price. and it's a conspiracy. yeah. your is cheap. it's safe.nd
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>> there. i said it. you did. you did, dagon, when i was a child. and i think when you were growing up in the south, whenerid have air travel d have. >> did they? did they not from well, i'm going to get that promotion a lot sooner than fire away. >> no, no. mea but i mean, it was different. we pay you like alwayst. full price for a ticket and you actually wore pants. . >> you know what i mean? it was a different world. no, i took the bus. >> see, i wasn't far off.re and we are all soft. remem nobody remembers greyhound. yeah, nobodybe having to wear a bandana over your eyes. so don't have to look at donnie dahmer sitting across the aisle staring at your legs, trying to decide he's going to fry or fricassee them for supper ortry holding an empty frito bag overe your nosgs oe to mask the smellf
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the slosh and toilet in the back of the bus. >> right. i thinks it's not the faa, it's not the airlines. it's the human beings being on the planes that make it so miserablple before you even push back from the gate, the sitting next, you has his shoes off and his damp socks and is managed to pull out his sweatyti vittles wrapped in some saran wrap. >> is eight known before you even in the air? >> yeah. that's flying. yeah. >> joe, as a comedian, this joe is the the generic wheelhouse boy flying. yeah. what? well, what's up with the airline industry? s ridd >> yeah. you know, someone's ridden lot n on greyhound whe they the word vittles, it's. >> you get to tell. abou >> i'm concerned about this united ceo becauseo they're having the worst reaction to this and he was describing their preparational
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and he said we're all hands d on deck. >> that's what you say on a boat. yeah. okay. so he t if they know there's going to be water landings, maybe they should let us know beforehand. i don't think on the titanic they thought we've got to get this thing off the ground. the , yeah. >> the flight situation is bad . but i think we're worried toore much about the regular passengers. i think we're forgetting the realr victims. >> and that's the drug mules. yes, because. well everybody wants to get home for the holiday. but imagine your flight's delayed. you're sitting is e drugn the. >> you've got two kilos ofo cocaine. shut up your . you're nervous, you're sweating. it's 4th of july. there's fireworks going ofshove it's very bad forg the digestion. that's an interesting point. how doesoff. drug mule handle le that sort of thing? like imagine being a drug mule and your flight gets canceled. yeah, right. your flight gets cancele rightd >> it's like you're coming from, like, i don't know, nowhere. who knows where it comes fros w >> but let's just say let's say colorado, colorado, and theyan cancel your flight.
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and does that mean you havave es to this stuff out, do it all t over again? >> does that mean you have to it out and then eat again? >> yeauth, i don't.e do i sign up?onu that's the only time you say, let's see what spirit air has to offer. >> i it's true. i never thought of that. like you got to like because you can't keep it inside you all the time out. >> but anyone here think of. that? anyone her die? he i mean, come on, man. what do you do when you're running late? do you eat l drugs or. no? you worry about the bullet in your head that's going to ge for not being. >> yesesrugs?. well, drug mule, greg. yes, you're in. you're in your universe. yeah. whih i want to visit your universe. >> a druvig is somebody who say you know, i won't do that. t >> yeah, that's like they draw a line at that. yeah, yeahthey, they'll do all's that, but not if it's late, man. i really. i want my. is my, my meal voucher. yeah. blems.
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i think bigger problems. number ten maybe we get number one through 90. you know what? if drugs were legalized, we wouldn't need drug mule. that's true. that's true. yeah. major think. didn't i. yeah. take that outnumbered. up next as bud sales, dillon's ready to rumble. >> fox news presents big independence day celebration. commemorate our nation's birthday fun festivities and live fireworks from all across the country. an all star lineup hosted during our big independence day celebration by tunnel to towers. >> show her you remember the jewelry exchange stackable bands 189 half carat anniversary bands 399 one carat 699 two carat, three stone rings, 1490 thousands of gifts guaranteed to appraise for double the jewelry exchange direct. >> hello, i'm mike lindell. i'm here to tell you about my brand new product. my slippers what makes
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could appreciate nature. but then he got us t-mobile home internet. i was just trying to improve our signal, so some of the trees had to go. i might've taken it a step too far. (chainsaw revs) (tree crashes) (chainsaw continues) (daughter screams) let's pretend for a second that you didn't let down your entire family. what would that reality look like? well i guess i would've gotten us xfinity... and we'd have a better view. do you need mulch? what, we have a ton of mulch. so, you've got the power of xfinity at home. now take it outside with xfinity mobile. a literal ton. like speed? it's the fastest mobile service around. with the best price for two lines of unlimited. only $30 bucks a line per month. that's hundreds in savings a year when you wave bye to the other guys. save hundreds a year on your wireless bill over t-mobile, at&t and verizon. and right now, get up to $1000 off select samsung phones. switch today.
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i can be the winds of change. thank you. thank you. >> thank you.e sa should bud light be sad for making dylan feel bad. dylan mulvaneyl bad?, the trans influencer who needs beer goggles to look in the mirrorp u is finally speaking up about the bud light fiascothe bu. a new instagram video that wag slammed the company foammer, hoe
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handled the whole thing. and by thing, we don't mea mn mulvaney's dirty minds.dirt it's the first time dylan's complaining about the scandal. more proof thae sct is not a wo. >> a sexist one. say. and you're right. i do offensive can this get. but do you really want to know what gets dylan's in a bunch? >> nope. i one thing i will not tolerate people about me is that i don't like beer because i love beer. and i alwaysno i should have mae this video months ago, but i didn't. and i was waiting for the brand to reach out to me. >> but they never did in bud life defense. they were busy firing every single employee who had anything to do with you know, s they even had spuds mackenzie put down. t
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yeah. talk. about a black guy. t dylan claims he's scared to leave his house, beeneen ridi ridiculed in public, been in. owed by people in other words, he now knows exactly what it feels like to be. brian kilmeadey . that's two. now, here't it fees more.here's fo mr a company to hire a trans person and then not publicly stand by them is worse, in my opinion. not hiring a trans person att all because it gives customerse permission to be as transphobic and hateful as they want hatef.i i don't remember ever asking a beer company for permission to b ae hateful and does budr an light or any other company owe mulvaney anything after you cost the company 20 billion, why are they suppose anythter yod to ape to you? >> usually to waste that much?
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cash, you'd have to start seeing n plus and then hire chris wallace thate. oh, but nobody hate trans dylan people for being different. the fact just is dylan would be nothing without the recentlyb released identity wholly embraced by the mediby ta. pretending to be a little girl has made him a very rich whatever. >> and sincech when is the company responsible for the actions of a handful its ofs customers? i mean, when a woman feels too turned customea wo off for, you, they don't arrest. brian stelter. yeah, never. >> yeah. oh, they'll never end. >> all right. take you are actually a real, id woman. it seems to me that we in the media trans women are actually more valued than real women. r does that bother you? haes any of this bother you?u? has everything said about
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mulvaney that's been said? i i bet if you're going to, like, fight it, but at least be a about it, at least like this. >> brian here we are. woman right and say, you know what, i made my money and i'm still making money money. >> and what happened to you? you got to, like, shake the tabasco, the open one.o stan you have to stand over the ex boyfriend who wronged you when you come along. laughe'som and broken his leg and laugh at him and walk along off and not help him at all. t >> you got to be like you'veike got to be like in that scene inh dirty harry when clint eastwood standingt andy robinson and jut grinding his hill into the gunshot wound. >> exactly. is that a hypothetical g maybe?t >> maybe. bu? t we all know the better off we are. >> yeah, but what? but. but is worse but puts out thiss statement.
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whstatemeny say anything that o, here's some of it we'rean committed to programs and partnerships in and wefety value safety and privacy and brewing beer is importantw and of course anything you know what you can't eveyon down thise dumpster dumpster sausage with the beer that they builbeet yeah anything that you say from here on out should just be belched. >> yes. i had a friend who could do that. i don't think anything ever of him, but boy, we still remember old steve how it could belch the alphabet. all right, steve. alcohol poisoning took him. poin he got to y. got well, you know, joey, when you were watching this and you at with eyes,at me man, you said you you you definitely would do. dylan mulvaney. s th that's what you said. messk was the message
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i was trying. i think it's great how bud anheuser has no idea how to react to this. yeah, they even they releasede u the commercial that was supposed to bring back the old drinkers where it was a bunch ofo brine ol. you know, you're at a barbecue and there's a bunch of men do stupid things. yeahhere's a you know, and thers there's sweaty, and then they're cooling off their with an cold bud.s with like, no one knows what's what's supposed to be happening . >> yeah, yeah. this is. this is so ridiculous because dylan mulvaneythis talking abouy representing women and people are lookinng ag at they're lookg at you because you're prancing around like a fool dressed look likea , audrey hepburn with a 5:00 shadow. you don't represent anybody. this does not represent women, trans women, anybody. en this is a narcissist. this is a fraud. yeah. and you could tell liks naste yw them on the drew barrymore show where they're sitting there praying to each other. >> yes . >> that's who they worship. they worship their own egos. yeah. yeah, exactl y is it's what i w think. tyrus, you coined the phrase it's woman facorshipe. n
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>> yeah. like this is not fulfilling all the stereotypes of a woman.come and so it becomes more like itsw ,more like a minstrel show or a minstrel show. [ , it's a show is what? listen, we got in this censorship bleeping thing because you can't. >> you just got to leave that in. yeah >> we . >> it's friday, right? yeah, it's the boss sleeps a t. we're good. yeah. it's not because he's ols ayd. take that. i like that stricken from the record. but first of all, dylann is playing a character i.a is think that's the issue that america is having becaushavinger brands of alcohol. i know smirnoff vodka has done several campaigns with with transgendered women and drag queens and whatnot. and there was no issue. the issue is, is that and irag let'ys so you can't women face maybe you can't get there so let's just go blackface.
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if joe put on a hat backwardsan and got a little tin belt and painted hi s face a little tanner, let me see what you know. scotch. tannerd wa and it was your one. tavis and this joke i got, i got to rob a bank. yo and i got nine babies and don't pay for me. thw what?o some of you are laughing. shame on you. but. t but you would be like, wow, man, that's really that's not talent. he's blackfacetalent. yeah, ev and everyone's uncomfortable with that. everyone here like to enjoy a good evening in blackface. anyone seeg,bl nowac. good. right? so why would you enjoy's womaney face? >> yes. where they pretend to be the dummie pretes going to plan. women don't know what's going on in. >> yeah. who do you think's making us nachos while watching the game? i'm not perfect i'm not. that's the truth. okay. can wewnachos w we're w be for ? >> he's a dude pretending to be girl. but he has spent no time with women, so he's acting like anything he's ever seen on tv or pornhub. womeand in pretendin
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g to be a fantasy. and that's woman face, period. boo him every time he does you. yeah. rob rob i think it's i was reading the intro this i was going in and out of whatever pronouns i felt yeah you were going back and forth yeah notice yeah yeah i'm bi pronoun you got them all. yeah. i want them all. i want my camera pronoun. yes, i'm not. but now there's that hea d. bi- how would you. how would you like if you are you compelled to give the pronoun or not. >> i why n work my way around. >> i do anything but the pronoun. yes, i tried to. i trieo d to say the name. oh, dylan mulvaney. this is. is this dylan? is this dylan's personalits s y dylan's microphone? i don't how many summers the good lord is going to lete meha have i'd say 12. >> but i think you find it any number, right? yeah, i just i, i just don'tantt want to talk about dylan mulvaney ever again. d
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>> i just don't i just don'tat's know what's going to happe goin to me. i just like and you liketo because you're because becauseet the mulvaney is the answer to a trivia question five years from now. and i want to get to their the like. rememberer, remember dylan mulvaney like, i want to be in that part right where e we're like, oh, my god, yeah, yeah. never happened in the show. dylan mulvaney, who now haseer, a different career, i guess five years from now, makes you miss the guy from slap. yeah, right. there you go. or clara power. >> where's the beef? they've been asking dylan that, too. >>ll, beealf?l right. you might think twice aboutink w our life advicice. that's. do you have trouble hearing conversations? are you constantly asking loved ones to repeat themselves? do you miss out on discussions or with friends? then you would benefit from m.d. hearing aids don't waste thousands of dollars on expensive hearing aids or settle with the frustration of
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a person were a fan of only to have your opinion change. u ro i'd go to you rob first because you were in the entertainment industry and i love it when you tell stories, i think.el >> greg gutfeld now it's a joke, right? it's a jokriday.e. >> no, i've actually met people that i was afraid of that b i thought, oh, god, this is going to be scary. and then i turned out to be really nice people. soe scar i i'm not the person tk this question, but because i've never really beenicen with i've heard that the stories, if you meet somebody, they're a psychopath. met never actually had that experience. >> mm. i think you're lying. i, i am. i know you. it was greg gutfeld. >>t don't tryd i jus to buy it back. >> cheers. working. he's still working. give him a break . yeah, come on. yeah, yeah, i got. i got a right to drive the bus. look at the man. make a living going to make. a living here. >> but i'm going to treatment alone on that beard. t is that. that's just not even.t' it's not even human. yeah, that's not for man.>> tha if that's just fort' gramps.
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you know, i'm going to show to me. oh, if it were a time out. i'm sorry. if this is football, throwor a flag. if it was just for men, gramps, it wouldn't be great. >> any laughs anyway? >> hey, tyra. so we've all had our experience. how abou ourt you? somebody that you thought you were, what you were a fan ofan, and then your opinion changed a long list. okay so the american dream, dusty rhodes, who was ended up being one of my, like whe, clos. mentors and stuff. when i first met him , i him now i loved him as a child. and then when i got a chancet to meet him, build a man who was a trainer and he was like, he ly, the american dream'swant coming in today. you want to meet him? and i was like to , yeah, that'll be awesome. what do you know? so i'm all excited and waiting in the office to meed wace.t the americans. i say, mr. dream, do i see mr. rhodes or just like, what it is like i couldn't figure out even how i was going to say something. and he walked in and looked at me. and before i can say these are i ona star?
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>> oh, i don't know. i only talk to stars, baby. andand around walked out and i. yeah, yeah. >> and i went, oh,i man yeah, man, i've looked and stooddn't there. i didn't cry, but i was. i was heated. i . that's the second time we met though. i gave him it, gave it back to him and. him then we were inseparable after that. but yeah. only talk stars, talk to baby. >> your soul. joe, you've opened for a lot off comics and lot you've opened for the openers of a lot of comics. >> i have. and yoe openeru. you've done a lot of open mics.a pretty much your open all the time. >> you just keep working your way lower and lower. t >> yes. you. you live outside in the open. hi do not take a blanket from him. this is what i dm.o. usuall >> give me. come on, give me a name. well, you know, i found that usually famous peoply famous iee put in a lot of effort to keep me from meeting them. yes. layersn in place. i remember when i opened for gilbert gottfried, the lat foreo
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gilbert gottfried. and people don't know this as crazy as he was offstage, was painfully shy and wouldn't make eye contact and he wouldn't speak. yes. souldn't me said hello to him . nodded and i thought, i'm not going to sit in a green room with him. not i'to sitt for 30 minutes bee the show starts. so somehow we started talkingtht about we found that we had three things that we liked were italian zombie movies, sharks and the movie showgirls. and weovie had an amazing o conversation when he went on stage. the people from the club came whd, we've never heard him talk to anyone that long that he didn't know. moat were you talking about? i said, we're talking about the movie showgirls. and they were like, maybe we're not going to boothey sk you.>> >> well, dagen i think i know fw you have one. >> you have a few. i have a wel>> i h--l, every cey i've ever met who i was reallyo excited to meei t me because i'm a. i'm and i had conjured in my head that they were immediatele y to be my best friend, fight me over to their housfriee and we would just bon.
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and that never happens. y? no, no. because that way. yes. because you're terrifieduse you, right yeah, i'm. i'm repellent. >> and so that i'm always disappointed. >> mm. pretty. pretty much. buttt occasionally somebody is s nice. >> you want to give me justpi one name? boy, this was just like pain to do from scarfa>> thee that ce on the show the one time. >> oh, all right. the? guy, what was his nam time. >> manny? oh, they got it. i think he had a drinking problem. whatever. he also had a personality problem. yes, because i was excited to meet him. yeah. all he kept doing was talking to cat. yeah. and finally i went, hey, she's not for you, man. okay? i had to go. al pacino on him. >> wow. what? what do you want? like, nasty stuff? like people who were, bad orson van morrison. >> he kicked the entire, like, o blond boys of alabama out of the green room. >> they were blondn , blond.
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he had to have the green room to himself. get out, get out, get out, get out and make big man more.oe as i didn't know where to go. yeah, but to be fair, t they don't know whether they're in the green room or the regular roomen o. om yes, well, john. all right. dirtng up, leaderscoming guilty feelings are less inclined to dirty deal if you'll be in the new york area and would free tickets to see gutfeld go to fox news.com slash gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. are you ready for a fresh new bath or shower? well, now the best time with 50% off installation and no interest and, no payment for one year. hi, i'm christina, and it's time. flip your old worn out bath or shower with jacuzzi bath remodel today. everyone knows the jacuzzi brand, but did you know they can install gorgeous bath
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the stars stripes take on trinidad and tobago in the stage, the concacaf gold cup sunday at 630 eastern on fox. >> my dad. dad, no, dad is a of god. if they want to kill us, it's a food to the death and we are the food. i have armies to form and i'm trying to bring back, which has been unfairly bad. land has saved. >> let's just put a pin in it. we'll get back to it. okay? okay? look. >> okay. bye. love you. here about s you. i'm jonathan here to tell a fix you about life insurance through the colonial pen prograedm. ree ps f you're aged 50 to 85 and looking to buy life insurance on a fixed budget, remember the three p's? >> what are price,ce, and e the? >> the three ps of life insurance on a fixed budget are price, price and price.
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>> oh, the guilt we feel.ll the i know that i was. i kni was raised catholic and i remember them bringing me in for confession when i was eight years old. like fo, what was i sorry aboutut all all those murders i committed. >> and i'mse eight years old.ve i'm never i'm never tempted. i've never been offered bribe.ek it's it's one of the perks ofno having nothing to offer. yeah, that's truthing ffere. >> that's true. you can't help anybody get ahead. d. oh, that was really mean. even for me,en for rob. >> well, i was just wondering what that. what the priest said. like you, are guilty of being adorable. sorry. i love people. oh, thatg makes people feel so uncomfortable. >> i know. i'm right now, i feel like laughing. the with them >>. i >> halfway i read the study, so i actually feel like the study is stupid. yeah, that's what they it was misspelled, but also they asked people what they thought of people who were felt guilty and they said, well, would you take a bribe? and they all said, no, felt ae bribe.. not the same thing as not taking a bribe. yeah. i woul take i think one way you
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someone's going to take a bribe is the first thing they tell you is under no circumstancer n. why take a bribe? pretty much. that's how you know somebody has done it. when they go like i. i dit stean yoi did not steal that money in your purse. like, you know, that person did it. soe nk i the studies.k if i don't think the study means anything. i think people, if you are electe eled public office, you e take a bribe that's how youinalb know that you're a criminal because you haveecave been eled to public office. united states of america. exactly. to do yes. you're corrupted the moment you decide to do it again. ewi grew up thinking that one d. i would be arrested for something likek it w i think its quite catholic, 12 years. do you ever have are you driven by the secret t feeling that you might have done something horribly wrong? maybe, you know, dismembering a drifter clearlake, californian in 1986 may be. yeah. pretty mossy lake, clearly, ironically called clear lake. you can carry just about anything in there with thent o right amount of rocks and the pockets. >> greg.
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yes ins, this is out loud. >> you're saying this you got ir to work on the inner monologue. yeah. yeah. god, i did it again. >> but anyway, this whole the whole of top of this guilt makes good leaders note, because the guilit comes after you've already screwed somebodye after the shafted right and it's it's brief like it's called a pang of guilt like a quick cram.p. >> yeah. goes away after briefly you you stole the money bill and then dr you're distracted the raw vomite engine so much better after your vomit, right?e st >> the roar of the engine from the stolen lambo. you can still keep the money after you have exactly the way i really did. like that phrase. >> that was very good afterhras. the shafted, she said. so i think it'ter ths like going to be the title of my autobiography. >> that's after the shafte d do you ever feel guilty? >> iris yeah. oh no, i have a wife.
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>> so i'm reminded of all my mistakes i don't need guilt. yeah, i got her always telling me, listen. yeah, this was a stupid study to rob's point, because everyone says no until it's put in their face. yeahe. you know, i'm saying lik, you know, every. oh, no, i would never take a bribe. never take a bribe. $100,000. listen, obviously, this is a real issue. there's a real problem . but i will not accept this $90,000. i demand that you take this $80,000 back right now. back thise isou right now, $55,000 on the table is an insult to me and the american peopln thee. the $16.42 on this table. do you think for one second it's going to swayed my myonstit vote tueo constituents? you owe >> you're out of your mind. looks like you owe me $7. nicely done. all right. up next if you're still awake.'r >> this segment makes the perfect bathroom break.
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we moved out of the city so our little sophie could appreciate nature. but then he got us t-mobile home internet. i was just trying to improve our signal, so some of the trees had to go. i might've taken it a step too far. (chainsaw revs) (tree crashes) (chainsaw continues) (daughter screams) let's pretend for a second that you didn't let down your entire family. what would that reality look like? well i guess i would've gotten us xfinity... and we'd have a better view. do you need mulch? what, we have a ton of mulch. i can feel the winds of change . >> welcome back. we're beat. so you're in for a treat. 're soe init's time for buzz lir
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inside. but it means thao t we can. whatever you want. you guys are are nice. nobody's watching because it's friday night before the 4th of july, except our verr y fans. >> so. so nothing's prepared.g to >> we're just going to shoot the breeze. but i do kno show that i mentiod you, joe, earlier in the weektig about your your mirror getting stolen . the irony of his mirror being stolen like he will. >> what happened? myd?, my beloved mirror.rror? it was horrifying. where would you mirror? i keep it on my desk keen my. i come in on monday and immediately humiliated and disrespected. r ha >> and then i find out
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my mirror has been stolen. terrible. i have it here . e >> i keep this on my desisk so i can see that no one is sneaking up on me. s nohe's not kidding. >> it's clever. i try to get him all the time. yeah, and somebody stole it. >> and, you know, i had>> my theories the first i thought, heck, seth, because he's growing that horrible mullet thing tha.t. f >> yeah. do you know how much one of these costs? how much? eight. nine. well, i don't know, because i got it from the dumpster in my apartment complex. but tell us,these co much? the story, man. >> it was stolen by another show. anoi'm not going to name any names. an apology was given and acceptedy nalogy w. although there is an intern. still, i suggested sharia with the hand getting amputated. >> but. but my niersbach jusaw. mirrot e for the long weekend so i can spend it gazing at myself. buatt why was it stolen? >> they needed to look at themselves board. mirro there wasn't adequate mirrors for makeup, so they had to steal my propertyrs so they d to violate me. >> and this one actually has the reflective one where it's bigger on the other side. and i use that when jessica tarlov comes by. so i don't feel so small. h. next largest, thoug
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she gave it back.. and you accept the apology, but you can't say steal anymoru can you got to say i can't, right? you can't have it both wayhave a >> very well. why can't i have it both ways?ys this is not right. i was suffered an and redress has been made the most. i got to say the most interestin>>?s g about that mirr is that i've just noticed that . eg does not appear in it >> yeah, well, not for a price.n okay. alot forl right. you're. you're a vampire on spec. yes, i. yeah, it's like i'll show up ind your mirror, but, you know, i don't get out of bed for anything outd fo than an onion . >> can i ask a question? does hate people who ask obvious questions like i do like, he y, what are you doing sitting there? yeah. who's going to hate that? my the only. >> come on, that's got to be. i just hate people. yeah just ha they're asking you questions or not thatnot. you know what? that covers everything. if you just hate everybody, jueverybod. included i'm not racist at all.t i don't have time for my mole. check.
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yeaht , i know what you do. it's. there's usually a doctor my. tching.is show just get real close to the monitor and just go like this. and thclos thee i think it's ina will count your moles. if >> but what if i wanted amateurs to look at my you want answer mole detection amd i go to the website. >> i believe you can find thosoe on the internet people who wille search your body for moles on your handars just one up right here. >> oh, only fans, only fan only mole. >> would you like to use a mirror to do self-checfan.k? all right. >> don't go away. >> pick your shots carefully until you see the whites of their eyes. only by sorting through to centuries of fact and fiction can we remember the men who helped shape the nation became.
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. better hearing is just a phone call away. 877 nine 8600 again, that's 879 8600. >> oh. crowd prioritize happy. dagen mcdowell. joe devito. rob lancaster. the studio that can bring heaven. love you, america. here is "the f♪ ♪r. hello, everybody. i'm joey jones along with judge jeanine pirro, harold ford jr. dge jeankellyanne conway and gr. gutfeld. it'sit's 5 5:00 in new york city and this is the five anothert fr moment for joe biden. the supreme court has struck down the president'she supre hau a trillion dollar student loan bailout program and ruling the commander in chief had overstepped his executiv

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