your reading. if you want to dive into a turn about tale that could inspire the entire family pick up my book the unexpected light of thomas alva edison or pre-order my next book, the magnificent mischief of tad linken. thanks for watching this special he digs of the ingraham angle. greg gutfeld takes it from here. take it away greg. see you next time. bye for ♪ ♪ >> greg: very odd. hello, everybody. welcome back: happy wednesday. it's almost thursday. so by now you've heard that a hazardous substance was discovered on the white house grounds. yeah, none of it came out of joe. they put newspapers down for him in case if it did.

so, no, the white powder found in what's been described as a west wing work area. cocaine. hmm. it was cocaine. never heard of the stuff. now, since he was just there, the obvious thing would be to blame hunter, especially after they found that other baggy filled with who caners. hookers. but if you found bear crap in the woods you're not going to blame the pope, you're going to blame the bear. and hunter is the bear. besides, if it wasn't hunter's, then who, joe? it explains the sniffing he's doing lines off girl's heads. could it be kamala? it could explain this. >> sit down with kiki palmer and you gonna have a real conversation about [laughter] about a variety of issues. >> greg: i guess cocaine makes everything funnier. it's why we placed a line under

all of your seats. just wait for the break, okay? so what does kjp have to say? i bet it's under the purview of the secret service. >> as you know this is under the purview of the secret service. under investigation by the secret service, this is in their purview, this is under the purview of the secret service, so it lives in their purview. let them do their investigation, again, this his under their purview. we're not assisting in anything, this is under the secret service purview. >> greg: somebody discovered a new word. i get so excited when i get a new word. purview! also reminds me of my favorite show. remember this one, huh? [laughter] >> greg: still a great idea. probably good to leave it up to the secret service, imagine a white house staffer trying to sniff out the culprit. >> so the secret service is confident someone in this room brought the cocaine into the white house.

we're not going to go accusing anybody but i hope somebody does the right thing and fess up. anyone? anyone? >> i'm pretty sure it was denise. >> denise, get your things and get the [bleep] out. thanks carl. you did the right thing. [cheers and applause] >> greg: we only use real coke in our skits. costs eight grand right there. >> tyrus: explains gene running around. >> greg: they would be better off blaming hunter than the white house staff. but will they? i mean it's joe's son and he gets special treatment. we'll probably never know. this is an obvious point but can you imagine if this happened to a trump white house. it would be a massive story with a huge investigation and wouldn't be long before someone started calling for impeachment.

but all the talk of trump denigrating the white house wafts away like a crack pike when it's the biden family. remember a trans-activist decided the ultimate expressings of pride would be to expose him or herself on the white house line. a bag of coke isn't the first time a visitor had a suspicious package. say what you want but donald trump never turnedd the white house into a roadside strip joint and if he had, that topless person wouldn't have hands that could palm a basketball. some things you can't surgically change. so then let's consider the security issue. remember the attacks on trump regarding the mar-a-lago documents, the special prosecutor, the media con telled him because he didn't handle classified material. he should have kept it near a corvette where it can soak up oil stains. they were outraged he didn't even know what he had.

what about the reverse. what about something is brought illegally into the white house and nobody seems to know why or how? shouldn't the same assisted apply. isn't that a national security issue? what if the substance was anthrax left by a terrorist. or worse cocaine left by a terrorist who now wants to talk about his screen play. that's what people do. if nothing else, we should now get every bit as much of an investigation that was pointed at trump. because we deserve answers. and not from kjp who must be too tired practicing ways to say no comment and wrestling with her curling iron. meanwhile, the media focuses instead on the reaction to the story and not the story itself. they're more peeved by the hunter jokes than the fact that an illegal drug manufactured by criminal cartels found its way to the home of the american president after likely crossing a border that the president won't police. but the press focusing on the reaction makes as much sense as blaming hunter's stripper baby for her father.

but, come on, this is an easy case. your average dunkin donuts has an internal video system that would wrap this right up. and this is the white house, for crying out loud. the video security system should be working. i mean, after all, those cameras are there to protect the president, not jeffrey epstein. and just as we've seen in recent criminal cases from alex murdaugh to the idaho college murders, if we let the cops do their jobs they'll solve this. so let them pull those videos, let them do the interviewing as opposed to the press. let them collect all the cell phones that were active in the white house this past weekend and examine the location data. look for texts that use coded drug language like, the good stuff, or pa riffian marching powder and call gutfeld. put two good dc detectives or secret service agents on this and we'll know the culprit faster than you can say matlock.

>> period! >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. he always looks like he just woke up, whether he's on tv or at my condo. fox news contributor and washington times opinion editor, charlie hurt! [cheers and applause] >> greg: he thinks crowds love him when they chant die, die, die! comedian jeff dye. she eats like a bird, seriously nothing but worms and bird seed. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause]. >> greg: and finally, mention affirmative action and he'll leave you in traction, my massive side kick and the nwa world champion tyrus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: charlie, always mediocre to see you. and i was coming over here and i look on my twitter thing and politico has already tweeted, we may never know.

>> charlie: of course. >> greg: they always begin even before the crime is even investigated, we may never know who the culprit is. they always do that. why. >> charlie: because it's the all hands on deck effort to protect joe biden, as we've seen all along. least surprising story of two years, after two years of like unbelievable news every other week, but i do kind of -- sort of makes me wonder if maybe the white house pr department didn't place the cocaine in the library because, you know, they're so deeply invested in trying to portray all of the problems with hunter biden as being, oh, it's just crack -- he's a crack head. it's just crack and whores. it's not anything more serious. when the truth of the matter is it's way more serious and it goes to the biden family making money selling out american interests to our adversaries abroad. and so it sort of makes me

wonder if maybe this wasn't intentional. and the library, which is on the bottom floor, the ground floor, can you go in there, no one would see you, it's very secluded, anyone who's been there knows, you can go to the library and do all sorts of things. i think this might be a setup. >> greg: seems to me doing cocaine in a library seems so self defeating. >> charlie: really? >> greg: it's hard enough to be quiet and then you're doing blow and like all there are are books. who ever sits down and reads a book when they're on cocaine? no one, as i've read in my research. because i study a lot of this. jeff, who do you think -- you're a comedian so obviously you know a lot about cocaine. >> jeff: yeah, as he said everyone knows who's been to the white house, i've never roamed the white house. but i will say, i want to start by saying, cocaine is bad. >> greg: thank you. yeah. >> jeff: while we're on record

here. >> greg: yeah, yeah, yeah. bad cocaine is worse. >> jeff: exactly. how did the crowd get isn't it no, i don't know why. it's easy to put this on hunter, he's already the fall guy he's already in trouble with stuff. put it on him. we know hunter doesn't do coke, he does crack. what about jill biden? jill gets in the library. why would hunter be in a library. >> greg: he's the smartest guy that joe knows. >> jeff: no, he's not. >> greg: that's the funying thing you hide cocaine inside books. >> jeff: yeah. >> greg: the problem is you forget which book. worse place to do it is a library. >> jeff: right. unless you put tonight the autobiography of bobby brown. there it is. white house library. >> greg: put it in something that gives the clue away. so you don't think it's him? >> jeff: i don't care really. thought that joe biden joill

biden joke would be funny. i like accusing her. >> greg: kat we shouldn't be coke-shaming anybody. whenever anybody needs to use to get themselves through the day. i worry, though, that they're going to blame it on a worker, they're going to blame it on somebody that vacuums and cleans and mops as opposed to hunter >> kat: yeah, i think that laws forbidden drug possession or immoral. i think your body belongs to you not the feds and whatever you want to do with your own body is fine and you shouldn't get arrested for it. the thing is, people do get arrested for it, and it's never -- what they're trying to set up as a defense here would never work for anybody else. right? like, oh, we found cocaine in your house. but there was a lot of people there at your house recently. >> greg: exactly >> kat: so i guess we'll never know whose it is so just go about your life. that would absolutely not happen. i mean, biden, the executive branch, the police fall under the executive branch, if anybody

else out there gets arrested for cocaine possession at any point, and there must be at least one viewer outlet who might get arrested for cocaine, just say your boss has cocaine at his house. it should be equal. >> greg: that's right. now you've got joe biden -- you have the joe biden defense. like if you didn't do anything about the coke in the white house, why are you bothering me >> kat: just say that's not mine. apparently that works for him. >> jeff: also cocaine is dangerous. like what if there was fentanyl in there. wait a minute. >> greg: that's true. actually, i thought about that because everything has fentanyl in it. >> jeff: yeah. >> greg: so it's like deadly stuff there tyrus. what do you see? you know what bugs me about this? maybe it doesn't bug me. >> tyrus: you didn't get invitedd. >> greg: yes. best tour ever. >> tyrus: yeah. >> greg: that's how you get your dealer rent. >> tyrus: if there was ever a place to trick your parents to do cocaine, the library would probably be it. i think there's a lot of teen pregnancies that happen at the library.

i'm going to the library to study mom and a lot of bad things happen. apparently it still works. so of course it's hunter's. the good news is -- hold on. it's tremendous from a fiscal standpoint that he's been able to raise himself out of the crack world and he's back in fine china. >> oh, yeah. >> tyrus: which, which -- and you should clap, because it's a trickle down effect. >> greg: it is. >> tyrus: if the white house is getting blow, that means there's going to be more opportunities for the rest of us. >> greg: that's true. >> tyrus: so look at it as a good thing. plus his paintings should be way cooler now. >> kat: yeah. you know what they say, always listen to your dad, and if you can't do that, always listen to his sentencing disparities iirks you have to understand, when joe first got into politics, cocaine was legal then, so he probably

forgot. what? cocaine was never legal. i'm done. >> greg: didn't they put tonight coca-cola. >> tyrus: yeah. >> greg: or is that an urban legend? real quick, if it's hunter biden then there goes his plea deal. >> jeff: that's a great point. >> greg: that's breaking the law, boom, pre deal is gone. >> tyrus: the librarian will do the right thing and fall on her sword. >> greg: yes. hmm. do they have swords at the library? all right, enough of that. up next a bride banned him from her bash but still expected the cash. ♪ i'm going to somewhere, anywhere. ♪ ♪ a beach house, a treehouse, ♪ ♪ honestly i don't care ♪ find the perfect vacation rental for you booking.com, booking. yeah.

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♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: thank you. love you. the bride wore white and banned an uncle who leaned right.

a progressive bride to be told a conservative uncle to stay away from her wedding but still expects him to send a gift. i know. imagine that, a liberal wanting something for nothing. the bridezilla's mother wrote a letter to advice columnist ask amy detailing the whole family drama. ask amy's a pretty great column. she helped me get over my crush with hemmer. or on hemmer. see, it still bothers me. apparently the uncle supports candidates the progressive bride hates and his presence would make her feel unsafe. although apparently she feels safe enough to open an envelope if he packed it full of money of so they didn't invite him instead sent him photos of the celebration that he was left out of, because people love mementos of events they were forbidden to attend. while she's at it send him a

napkin smeared with wedding cake. and toen to it off the brat expected a wedding gift in the form of a thousand dollars check. in other words he's unsafe but his money isn't. this bride has a bright future in government. but her mom says her brother's ignoring them so she asked amy, how can i get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior. why get uptight because you couldn't go to a wedding but expected to pay up anyway. brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a wedding don't get the pleasure of receiving that money. if that uncle's in a forgiving mood here's a suggests forhis fragile liberal knees. he can send something to the group he will appreciate. a list of good divorce lawyers. jeff, do you think this -- you know these advice letters, i never can tell if they're real because they're always like too perfect. is that too perfect to be real? but i think it's real. >> jeff: i hope at he real and i actually liked amy's response, i

think she was on point. when i was reading this story i kept thinking to myself, can you believe this uncle? this cheap [bleep]. doesn't he know how the world works nowadays? if you're a conservative guy with some money, you are to be ban i should, criticized, ridiculed while also simultaneously giving your wealth away. that's how it works. >> greg: so true. so true and yet so sad, kat. if this bride exists, and let's pretend she does, she must be a horrible person >> kat: i agree with what you said earlier she has a great future in government because that's what every politician ever does. they go on and on about how awful something is and how it's just disgusting and there's no excuse for it and it's so sick and everybody's unsafe, but all the while they're talking, they are assuming everyone understands that nothing they're saying means they won't accept any blood money.

that's basically what she's saying she wants. i think he's a horrible person but i'll take his money. welcome to the world. >> greg: yeah. i think he should kill her. [laughter] >> greg: with kindness. kindness is the name of my shotgun. should i stop there tyrus? >> tyrus: no. >> i liked it. >> tyrus: you're digging your own grave doing beautiful. i'm just shocked at this entire panel. to be fair, you haven't spoke yet. >> greg: no, condemn him as well. >> tyrus: yeah, because he missed this. why are we even focusing on the daughter. we should be attacking the mother. you raised this monstrosity. why is no one saying hey, ma -- my brother needs to get over it. see, this is why your dam ass raised the child that you have now, you never consequenced her when she did stupid [bleep] like this. don't come to my party bring me a gift and you're okay with that and you want to know what the other guy's problem is? so what he needed to do is give

her a thousand dollars of trump stakes, see if he can give a scholarship to trump college and fill up the rest with maga hats, american flags, and the biggest, maybe hunter can come in and paint a picture of a middle finger for you. >> greg: there you go. oh, you know what? [cheers and applause] >> greg: a, i never thought about commissioning a painting by hunter is a great idea. we could do that and put it on the show's budget. right? >> tyrus: well, it's going to be expensive because the main ingredient in his paints apparently is cocaine. >> greg: you didn't convince me we should kill the daughter we should kill the mother. with kindness. >> jeff: it costs a half million dollars the hunter paintings. >> greg: stay on top. >> jeff: i completely agree with tyrus. >> tyrus: as a parent i would be embarrassed. i would have cancelled the wedding or made them elope. get her off my hands now. she's all yours brother.

>> charlie: not only did she raise a psycho, but she also -- and didn't invite the brother, but then she wrote him and said, you're not invited and then followed up with all the pictures. >> tyrus: enabler. >> charlie: right, enabling at every step. by the way, i don't believe any of these things. i think they're all, you know, dear abby -- >> greg: you worked in newspapers, everything's all made up. >> charlie: they're all made up. yet it's probably the truest news in the paper because there are definitely people that exist like this. there are moms like this. there are daughters like this. and there are, you know -- >> greg: by the way, here's the deal, this is an old joke i'm sure somebody said this before but if you have a really serious problem, why would you write to a newspaper advice column? because that would take like weeks before you get an answer. >> charlie: it's why we read them. i don't read the advice, i read them for the letters because they're hilarious because they're a bunch of drunk guys

sitting around in a frat house making this stuff up and it's so great. >> greg: i got a job writing for penthouse letters back in the '80s. >> charlie: doesn't surprise she that was the worst. . hi to keep taking breaks. i'm not joking. >> charlie: it requires a lot of creativity. >> greg: it really does, because nobody writes to advice columns. >> charlie: she's pacing around going when is she going to reply, been six weeks, you have to address this. >> greg: i have a fast-growing cancer. dear doctor, i have a fast-growing cancer, do you have any suggestions. >> tyrus: quick, i need a stamp! >> jeff: and don't tell me see a physician. >> greg: we have to move on. up next a 25% tip made a delivery guy flip. now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. ♪(uplifting music)♪ ♪nothing is everything♪

i'm celebrating my clearer skin... my way. with skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. in another study, most people had 90% clearer skin, even at 5 years. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. thanks to clearer skin with skyrizi - this is my moment. there's nothing on my skin and that means everything! ♪nothing is everything♪ now's the time. ask your doctor about skyrizi, the #1 dermatologist-prescribed biologic in psoriasis. learn how abbvie could help you save.

♪ >> greg: thank you. thank you! thank you!

all right. tipping only 25% led to a driver's discontent. and she got cursed for not reaching deeper into her purse. a texas door dash driver was fired after he cursed out a customer's 25% tip in a now viral video clip. according to doorbell security cam video post order tik tok by the customer, she ordered a pizza for 20 bucks and tipped the delivery guy $5. what a bitch. yeah. you know whose side i'm on. so $5 on a $20 bill seems like a reasonably amount especially considering how bad pizza in texas must be. i hear the topping are bullets and armadillos. in your face, texas. anyway, let's see how the interaction played out. >> hi. >> hello. >> come here, max.

sit. max. sit. >> here you go. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> i just want to say it's a nice house for a $5 tip. >> you're welcome. >> [bleep] you. >> greg: well that escalated. she was later found dead. think that's funny? it's not true but it's not funny. the clip has sparked a debate on line about what's an acceptable tip these days and whether it's legal to have a trap door that empties into an alligator pit. kat, you know what pisses me off about this story? >> kat: what. >> greg: that driver got fired from door dash because it went viral and the guy that threatened to kill me from door dash wasn't fired. [laughter] >> greg: remember that story? >> kat: i do, but i don't think you ever -- did you tell everybody? >> greg: no, i called the police and then i talked to door dash and i got a note saying he won't

be delivering to your apartment anymore. he threatened to kill me, followed me in. >> what did you do to piss him off? >> greg: oh, blame the victim much charlie. >> charlie: yes. >> greg: he said what did you do to piss him off. >> tyrus: how were you dressed? er with you not wearing socks again. >> greg: i was wearing sweats and holding my little doggy. >> tyrus: there you go. >> charlie: but, greg, people disagree with this driver. >> greg: anyway, here's the problem with this, kat, you shouldn't be tipping based on the price of the male but the distance someone comes to drop it off, right? >> what? >> kat: first of all, how do you know what the distance is? they don't exactly give you a play by play of their day. >> greg: it does say so. >> tyrus: says you're three minutes out gutfeld >> kat: that's how far away the restaurant is. >> greg: do you think that's a good tip >> kat: it's 25%. i don't think you're supposed to tip based on the value of your home. [cheers and applause] i mean, he

was also -- i just think the guy, wasn't he wearing like cargo shorts? first of all, i'm already not on his side. those aren't cargo shorts. well, khakis. and he was rehearsing it the whole way there. he was like, $5, and just seeing that man and those shorts rehearsing to himself the whole way there i wish i could fire him for more things. [laughter] >> greg: get this. you can. i think his name is corey. there's no such thing as a good corey. did you notice this? think about it, go through history. there's not even a world leader named corey. >> tyrus: corey feldman. >> i hate that kid. >> greg: same here. >> tyrus: he has a new album, 17 songs. >> greg: cory booker. see. i rest my case. >> tyrus: oh, dam, yeah. you won there, yeah. and not for the reasons you think so, not because he's a

democrat because he tells stupid stories with his face too close on line. that's why we can't stand him, he might have great ideas but brother back up. >> greg: speaking of, he talks about --. >> tyrus: like we don't know english. today guys, i went outside and i saw the sun. >> greg: what you know that sounds like, like he ate a slice of pizza that was too hot. >> tyrus: i don't know, maybe because i got a couple days off in the sun i'm the only one thinking rationally. this has nothing to do with tips. nothing to do with tips. it has everything to do with the fact that he's reached less than 25% of his life's potential. he's 35 years old delivering pizza to, low and behold, a girl that he dissed in high school and now help to go to her house. he put on his best pair of khakis hoping to rekindled love, sees this wonderful house and she doesn't even remember him. >> greg: that's it. >> tyrus: not her fault that you

are the essence of a loser, which i'm shocked being the fact that he's white i thought you guys did a little better than that with your privilege and what not. it has nothing to do with tips and everything to do with his life sucks and that's the best thing he could say to her and she still didn't remember him. the only thing that would have been better is she walked away and she was like, corey? [cheers and applause] >> kat: i think if we normalize door dash delivery people people being able to be critical i would have to institutional lies myself. you know how i look answering the door to get food delivery? not good. >> greg: charlie. >> charlie: we don't get door dash where i live. i don't get door dash. >> greg: are you still staying at the hospital? >> charlie: i agree it is pretty unrighteous what happened. she's cheap obviously. she still lives in her mansion. she saved her $10.

she wins -- and she gets all the publicity and fame she wants because the video went viral which is the worst part of all of it. and then he's out of a job and completely unemployable in any sort of sales environment. >> tyrus: he was already unemployable. he was working for door dash at 35-plus years of age. >> charlie: they all succeed. >> tyrus: he was already in trouble in the work force. >> greg: the only thing i black this story is the one you made up about it. >> tyrus: that was the truth. trust me as a guy who's taken an l or two before and worked at pizza hut instead of the draft, i know there i know the look. all you can say is nice house. >> jeff: i've said on the show before get rid of tipping. you go to other countries they don't do it. everybody has so much empathy for the service industry it's super annoying. how about every other job in the world, i think everybody should have to be a server once in their life makes it seem like they're really good people. how about everybody should have

to be a cop for a week in their life. how about sympathy for that job or any of these jobs, but for some reason when it's some guy on door douche, everyone feels bad. the guy's a jerk, $5 is fine. that's a good tip. >> tyrus: all did he was deliver. >> jeff: right he didn't make the pizza ihe just delivered jute scum bag. >> greg: a flyer gave up a flight because something gave her a fright. like here. and here. not so much here. if you have chronic kidney disease, farxiga can help you keep living life. ♪ farxiga ♪ and farxiga reduces the risk of kidney failure, which can lead to dialysis. farxiga can cause serious side effects including dehydration, urinary tract or genital yeast infections in women and men, and low blood sugar. ketoacidosis is a serious side effect

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meet gold bond healing. a powerhouse lotion that moisturizes, heals, and smooths dry skin. with 7 moisturizers and 3 vitamins, you can pay more but you can't get more. gold bond. champion your skin. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: airline passenger boasts she won't fly with a ghost. which means it must be time for: >> oh, man. you're going to flip when you see this clip. it's time for greg' greatest video of the week. >> greg: all right. so this video starts an american

airlines passenger blauthering on about why she's getting off the plane. caught on camera as the plane was leaving dallas for orlando on sunday and say whatever you want she's telling you she's getting the f off and there's a reason why she's getting the f off. >> you can say whatever you want. i'm telling you i'm getting the f off and there's a reason why i'm getting the f off and everyone can either believe it or they cannot believe it. i don't give two fs but i am telling you right now [bleep], that [bleep] back there is not real. and you can sit on this plane and you can [bleep] die with him or not. i'm not going to. >> it's scary. >> greg: she sounds like dana when she sits in coach. but you know what? it reminds me of evil dead two

when the guy goes, that's not my grandmother under the basement. geez you people. the lady was removed but unclear if she was arrested or not but also unclear who in fact she was referring to on the plane. was it a beast or a demon, a zombie like figure. the airline released this photo. [laughter]. >> greg: all right, what the hell just happened there? that's not acting tyrus. she wasn't acting. she saw something and she was warning the people. >> tyrus: yeah. >> greg: did that flight ever make it? >> jeff: no they got off. >> greg: carrot top was on that. i wish it crashed. >> jeff: she saved their lives in my opinion. >> tyrus: did she? >> jeff: they're all alive and i believe all women. and also -- >> greg: hashtag me too. >> jeff: i believe in lizard people right but i don't believe they're flying from dallas fort worth to orlando in coach, they're on air force one. that's why they're at. >> tyrus: they wanted to go to magic kingdom. >> greg: i want to point out i

don't want the plane to crash i just want carrot top to crash. >> tyrus: the best part about that is when she said over there, the camera guy was like where? that was the best part. >> jeff: everyone turned around and looked. >> tyrus: everyone was like who? we have to go back and look at who didn't turn back. because whoever didn't turn back, that's the conjuring. that's the one. do we have the technology. >> greg: we have the tape of carrot top. >> slow-mo? >> tyrus: she goes, the cameraman goes back, we need a prequel for this. when the cameraman goes back the person who doesn't look back is the ghost or the entity. and i believe karen here, i believe she's telling the truth. >> greg: it's the blond lady! >> tyrus: vicky! >> greg:. >> greg: the blond lady! it's dana perino! >> tyrus: this is why i don't watch scary movies. >> greg: charlie take a look at this, carrot top was on this

flight. >> charlie: i saw this. >> this is why we're all sitting here in [bleep] dallas now because she lost her ear bud. seriously. >> greg: so carrot top obviously. >> that's not carrot top that's the mascot from 7-11. >> greg: transitioning. >> tyrus: he changes work done. >> jeff: he's been a ghoul for a while. >> greg: he transitioned from a man to a woman and then stopped in the middle. >> to a body builder. >>. >> charlie: but i thought his explanation she lost an ear bud is as plausible as everything else. this is the world we live in. you don't know if she's off her meds, is certifiable, she's on a plane which is that miserable or is just looking for clicks. >> greg: that's legit. >> she's in jail. >> greg: i think she took an edible >> kat: her whole life is over. i feel bad for her because she can't -- this is all out there. she can never get a job. you know, whatever friends she

was with, they're not going to want to do drugs with her again. she can't be a bum because they're not going to want to do drugs with her either if she freaks out like that. but she was trying to be nice. she thought there was a glitch in the matrix and everyone was going to diane rather than just save herself, she knew people don't usually do that. she was like guys, i don't even know you but there's a glitch in the matrix we're all going to die let's go. >> greg: like the movie knock on the cabin door, and it's like you have to believe. >> tyrus: you have to pick two. >> greg: yeah, you have to kill them. >> jeff: second horror film reference. >> greg: because every horror film is based on somebody trying to warn you about something. >> jeff: twilight zone right here. >> greg: twilight zone it's on the wing. >> tyrus: as soon as she got kicked off the plane she told the boyfriend he couldn't go see him so he needs money to get another ticket. so he goes to door dash and he goes to a rich house and only

gets $5. and meanwhile his crazy wife is stuck with the demons moving in on her. >> greg: and it worked because his buddy left his cocaine at the white house. >> tyrus: yes. she was on the cocaine which started when this whole thing in the first place. >> greg: missing a wedding. [laughter]. >> charlie: i feel like everyone was hard on her because she's hochlt everyone's forgetting that's not what crazy people look like. >> greg: that's true. >> tyrus: oh, nope, they do. oh, yeah. that's how they suck you in. oh, she's beautiful. thin you're writing on the window, help. >> greg: all right we have to move on, another great topic. up next, do you lie awake after section sexing by mistake. the more times you wash them. downy protects fibers, doing more than detergent alone. see? this one looks brand new. saves me money? i'm starting to like downy. downy saves loads. hi, i'm tony hawk, and like many of you, i take a statin to reduce cholesterol, but statins can also deplete coq10 levels. that's why my doctor recommended qunol coq10.

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♪ a story in five words ♪ >> greg: ever sext to your parents? i guess i'll go to kat first. people are sharing text messages they accidentally sent to their parents by mistake including sexual text messages. i have a question. is it worse to send one or receive one? what if you got one from your parents, assuming they are still with us >> kat: my mom's dead, that would be awesome. i would be so happy she was talking to me and she's having a

good time up there. >> greg: exactly. she's on cloud 9. cloud 69 >> kat: that's a thing to say about someone's dead mom. >> greg: i was saying in generic terms cloud 69. sounds like the name of a great bar. anyway, what are we talking about? >> kat: sending texts to the wrong person. yeah, i don't think i've done that. i've regretted texts that i've sent to the right person. >> greg: yeah. you know what i've done now so many times, tyrus? it's driving me crazy. sending to the group text, like i'll send something like i go to send to charlie but it's charlie and steven and rose. charlie i can't wait to see your shirtless body hanging over my bath rung and it goes to everybody. >> jeff: greg loves you, dude. >> greg: too old. >> tyrus: one day his little game's going to back fire on him. he's going to have a fatal

attraction on his hands. tell me more about my eyes, you watch, gutfeld. and i'll do like i do with all the group texts, release me. >> greg: you know what i'm saying. >> tyrus: well, yeah, i didn't talk to my parents much let alone on regular stuff. but i did at one point get caught up in a group chat that was talking [bleep] about me that wouldn't stop. like i had broke up with someone and they had -- i was in part of some group message for some dinner we were planning but i broke up with her so i didn't have to go to the dinner, genius. but then i had to listen to everyone talk [bleep] about me. take me off the strand. i can hear you. that might be true but i don't need to hear about it, okay? so that was it. you know? >> greg: the dumbest thing, they have to have a way to fix that because i make that mistake and it's women baring jeff. you don't believe this is all real. >> jeff: it's lazy journalism. this personal wanted to take

fourth of july off and went to a reddit thread. notice it's all green all the text are green and red. also we can acknowledge all roy of these problems are because of technology and smart phones. you never got the wrong person on a rotary phone. >> greg: that's true. but what you know? >> jeff:. >> jeff: you have to start over --. >> tyrus: could get you if you click the wrong way. >> greg: the great thing on the rotary phone, if you are the killer it takes forever because they always dial back so you hope it doesn't have a lot of zeros in it because it's zero and goes all the way back and then you get strangled by moi. [laughter] >> greg: i seek out people with long phone numbers. >> tyrus: can you imagine greg going to choke you. you would be like stop, stop. >> jeff: he would be the step

stool murderer. [cheers and applause] >> greg: that's pretty good. that's pretty good. >> tyrus: i know i already went i want to remind you guys, kit this if you want. me and one of my wrestling buddies were at my friends house, younger sister, help had a big family, the little kid was playing on the laptop connected to the tv and the daughter's sex that they were filming showed up on the tv at the family meal of few. and it was pretty graphic stuff, hair brush, it was getting weird. i'm looking at my wrestling buddy and my mom went, oh, click and the entire family acted like they didn't see anything. i was into the plot and everything >> kat: that mom is a gas lighting queen. >> greg: i have to get charlie in. >> charlie: i think these things are made up. oh, i meant to send then sext

message to dan but i sent it to dad. i think they're intentional. if you want to tell somebody what you really think about them. >> greg: you can say it's an accident. i'll remember that charlie >> don't go away, we'll be right back. oh booking.com, ♪ i'm going to somewhere, anywhere. ♪ ♪ a beach house, a treehouse, ♪ ♪ honestly i don't care ♪ find the perfect vacation rental for you booking.com, booking. yeah.

so it's decided, we'll park even deeper into parking spaces

so people think they're open. surprise. [ laughs ] [ horn honks, muffled talking ] -can't hear you, jerry. -sorry. uh, yeah, can we get a system where when someone's bike is in the shop, then we could borrow someone else's? -no! -no! or you can get a quote with america's number-one motorcycle insurer and maybe save some money while you're at it. all in favor of that. [ horn honking ] there's a lot of buttons and knobs in here.

>> good evening and welcome to america's late news, fox news at night, i am trace gallagher los angeles. breaking tonight, coast to coast crime with very few consequences, i imagine kids using baseball bats to attack moms and nannies in a well-to-do california community. a series of mass shootings across the country, that left several dozen injured at least a dozen dead. we are live with more on the shootings in the suspects and the numerous victims, roxanne hogan, will get the social take on what is happening, ryan claypool, as always has lega