now that school is out, summer k is a great time for keeping up with your reading. if you want to dive into a turnabout tale that could inspire the entire t coe family pick of my book, the unexpected light of thomas alva edisoxpect or you can preorder my next book, the magnificent mischief of tad lincoln. thanks for watching this special edition of the ingram.al he digs of the ingraham angle. greg gutfeld takes it from here. take it away greg. see you next time. bye for ♪ k-d r.f.k. ♪ ♪ >> greg: very odd. >> greg: very odd. hello, everybody. hello, everybody. welcome back to happy wednesday. it is almost thursday. by now, you have heard a hazardous substance was discovered on the white house grounds. yeah, none of it came out of joe. they put newspapers down in case

it did. the white powder found in what has been described as a west wing work area, cocaine. hmm, it was cocaine. never heard of the stuff. since she was just there, the obvious thing is to blame hunter biden, especially since he found the other baggy filled with hookers. if you find poop in the woods, you blame the bear. hunter biden is the bear. if not hunter, who is it? joe? kamala? it could explain this. >> sit down with keke palmer and have a discussion about a variety of issues. >> greg: i guess cocaine makes

everything funnier, that is why we placed a line under each of your seats. just wait for the seats. what does kjp have to say? under the purview of the secret service. >> this is under investigation of secret service, under purview of the secret service. let them do the investigation, this is under their purview. it is under the secret service purview. >> greg: somebody excited a new w word. purview. remember this one. i am excited about a new show. still a great idea. it is probably good to leave it up to the secret service. just imagine a white house sniffer trying to sniff out the culprit. >> so, the secret service is confident someone in this room brought the cocaine into the

white house. we will not accuse somebody, i hope somebody fesses up. anyone? anyone? >> greg: pretty sure it was denise. denise, get your things and get the -- out. thanks, carl, you did the right thing. >> greg: we only use real coke in our skits. cost $8 grand right there. >> explains gene running around. >> greg: yes. fact is they would be better off blaming hunter than the white house staff. will they? it is joe's son, he gets special treatment. we'll never know. this is obvious point. imagine if this happened to the trump white house. it would be a huge story and wouldn't be long before someone calling for impeachment.

den grading the white house walks away like -- do you recall a transgender activist decided pride is to expose him or herself to the lawn. this is not the first suspicious package. say what you want, donald trump never turned the white house into a stripless join and if he had, that person would not be able to palm a basketball. some i think thises you can't surgically change. security, remember the attacks on trump about the mar-a-lago documents, entire left condemned him because he didn't handle proper security. he should have kept it next to a corvette, where it could soak up oil stains.

what about the reverse? what about when something is brought illegally into the white house and nobody knows how or why? shouldn't same standard apply? what if it was anthrax left by a terrorist? or worse, wanting to talk about his play. an investigation pointed at trump, we deserve answers and not from kgp, who must be practicing ways to say no comment and wrestling with her curling iron. the media focuses on the story, not the reaction to the story. they are peeved about the hunter jokes and an illegal drug found its way into the home of the american president. the press focusing on the reaction makes as much sense as

blaming hunter's stripper baby for her father thchl is easy case. average dunkin donuts has internal video system that would wrap this up. this is the white house. video security system should be working. afterall, cameras are there to protect the president, not jeffrey epstein. and seesaw from alex murdaugh to idaho murders, if we let the cops do their jobs, they will solve this. let them pull the interviews and do the videos instead of the press issue let them examine the data. look for text like the good stuff or peview offian marching powder and call gutfeld. put two dc detectiveses or secret service agents on this and we will know the culprit

faster than you can say matlock. >> welcome tonight's guests. he always looks like he just woke up, whether on tv or at my condo, fox news contributor charlie hurt. [applause] >> greg: he thinks crowds love him when they chant "die, die, die." comedian jeff dunn. [applause] >> greg: she eats like a bird, no seriously, worms and bird seed, fox news contributor kat timpf. and finally mention affirmative action and he'll leave you in traction, my massive sidekick and world heavyweight champion. tyrus. [applause] >> greg: charlie, always mediocre to see you. i was coming over here and politico tweeted, we may never

know. >> of course. >> greg: they always begin, before the crime is investigated, we may never know who the culprit it. they always do that. why? >> charlie: all hands on deck effort to protect joe biden. as we've seen all along. least surprising story after two years of unbelievable news every other week. but i do, makes me wonder if maybe the white house pr department didn't place the cocaine in the library because they are deeply invested in trying to portray the problems with hunter as he's a crack head, it is crack and whores, nothing more serious temperature is more serious and goes to the biden family making money selling out american interest to

our adversaries,a broad. it makes me wonder if this was intentional. and the library, on the ground are floo, you can go in there and no one would see you, it is secluded, anybody in the white house knows you can go to the library and sit down and do all kinds of things. this might be a setup. >> greg: seems to me doing cocaine in a library seems so self-defeating. >> really? >> greg: hard enough to be quiet and doing blow and all there are, are books. who sits down and reads a book when they are on cocaine, as i've read in my research. i study a lot of this. jeff, you are a comedian, you know a lot about cocaine. >> everyone that has been to the white house, everybody knows i've never roamed the white house. i want to start by saying cocaine is bad.

>> greg: thank you. >> while on record here. >> greg: bad cocaine is worse. >> exactly. why didn't the crowd get it? no, i don't know, it is easy to put this on hunter, he's the fall guy, he's in trouble with stuff, put it onim had. a lot of people go in there. we know hunter doesn't do coke, he does crack. what about jill biden? jill? why would hunter be in the library? >> greg: he's the smartest guy that joe knows. >> he's not. >> greg: you hide cocaine inside books, problem is, you forget which book. worst place to do it in is library. >> unless you do it in the autobiography of bobby brown. >> greg: put it in something that gives a clue. you don't think it's him? >> i don't care really. i thought that jill biden joke would be funny, i like accusing

her. >> greg: i don't think kat, we should be coke shaming anybody. when anybody needs to use to get themselves through the day, i worry they will blame it on a worker, somebody that vacuums and cleans and mops, as opposed to hunter. >> kat: i think laws forbidding law possession are immoral. your body belongs to you, not the feds. whatever you do with your own body is fine and you shouldn't get arrested for it. the thing is, people do get arrested for it. what they are trying to set up for a defense would never work for anybody else. we found cocaine in your house, but there was a lot of people there, i guess we'll never know whose it is, go about your life. that would not happen. biden, the executive branch, police fall under the executive

branch. if anybody get arrested and there must be one viewer out there who might get arrested for coin ca. your boss has cocaine at his house, why are you -- should be equal. >> greg: right. now you have the joe biden defense. you didn't do anything with coke in the white house, why bother me. >> kat: that's not mine, apparently that, wos for him. >> cocaine is dangerous, what if there was fentanyl in it? wait a minute. >> greg: that is true. i thought about that, everything has fentanyl in it. it is deadly stuff there, tyrus. what do you see? what bugs me about this, maybe it doesn't -- >> you didn't get invited. >> greg: yes, best tour ever. every /* >> ever a place to trick your

parents. a lot of teen pregnancy happened there. i'm going to the library to study, mom. apparently it works. of course, it is hunter's. the good news is -- hold on, it is tremendous from a fiscal standpoint that he's been able to raise himself out of the crack world and he's back in fine china. >> yes. >> oh, yes. [applause] >> which, and you should clap, it is a trickle-down effect. >> greg: right, it is. >> if the white house is getting blow, it is going to be more opportunities for the rest of us, look at it as good thing. plus, his painting should be way cooler now. >> kat: always listen to your dad, if you can't do that, listen to sentencing disparity. >> understand when joe first got

into politics, cocaine was legal then, he probably forgot. cocaine was never legal, i'm done. >> greg: didn't they put it in coca-cola, or is that urban legend? if it is hunter biden shgs, there goes his plea deal. >> the librarian will do the right thing and fall on her sword. >> greg: yes. hmm. who has swords at the library? enough of that. up next, bride banned him from her bash, still expected the cash.

♪ [cheers and applause >> greg: thank you. thank you. i love you. the bride wore white. and banned an uncle who leaned

right, progressive bride-to-be, told the prouncle to stay away from her wedding, but still expectses him to send a gift. i know, imagine a liberal wanting something for nothing. her mother wrote a letter to ask amy, detailing the drama. ask amy is great column, she helped me get over my crush with hemmer. or on hemmer. see, it still bothers me. the uncle supports candidates progressive bride hate and his presence would make her feel unsafe. apparently she felt safe enough to open an envelope he sent her. while she's at it, why not send him a napkin smeared with

wedding cake and she expected a gift in form of $1000 check. he is unsafe, his money isn't. this bride has a bright future in government. the bride says her brother is ignoring them. why get uptight because you couldn't go to a wedding. amy replied, brides don't get the pleasure of receiving their money. if that uncle is in a forgiving mood, he is suggestion for his fragile liberal niece, send a gift to the groom he will appreciates, a list of good divorce lawyers. jeff, these advice letters, i can never tell if they are real. is that too perfect to be real? i think it is real. >> jeff: i like amy's response,

she was on point. i kept thinking to myself, can you believe this uncle? this cheap -- doesn't he know how the world works nowadays? if you're a conservative guy with money, you are to be banished and ridiculed while giving your wealth away. >> >> greg: exactly. >> jeff: that is how it works. >> greg: so true and so sad, kat. if this bride exists and pretend she does, she must be a horrible person. >> kat: i agree, she has a great future in government. that is what politicians do, go on and on about how awful it is and disgusting and no excuse for it and so sick and everybody is unsafe. all the while they're talking, they are assuming everyone understands that nothing they are saying means they won't accept any blood money.

that is basically what she wants. i think he's a horrible person, i will take his money. welcome to the world. >> greg: yeah. i think he should kill her. [laughter] >> greg: with kindness. kindness is the name of my shotgun. should i stop there, tyrus? >> tyrus: no. i am shocked at this whole panel. >> greg: condemn him, as well. >> tyrus: why focus on the daughter, focus on the mother, you raised this monstrosity. my brother needs to get over it, see, this is why your dumb ass raised the child you had now. don't come to my party, bring me a gift and you are okay with that and want to know what the other guy's problem is.

he needed to give her a $1000 of trump steaks, get a scholarship to trump college and fill up the rest with maga hats american flags and maybe hunter can paint a picture of a middle finger for you. >> greg: there you go. you know what? a, i never thought about commissioning a painting by hunter is great idea, we could do that and put it on the show's budget, right? >> tyrus: it will be expensive, his main ingredient is cocaine. >> greg: you didn't convince me not to kill the daughter, kill the mother. stay on upon toic. >> i agree with tyrus. >> tyrus: i would be embarrassed, cancel the wedding or make them elope. get her off my hands now.

>> she raised a psychoand didn't invite the brother, then she wrote him and said, you are not invited and followed up with pictures. enabling every step of the way. by the way, i don't believe these things, i think they are all dear abby letterses. >> greg: you worked in newspaper. >> yes, probably the truest news in the paper. there are definitely people that exist like this. there are moms like this. there are daughters like this. and there are -- >> greg: here is the deal, an old joke, i am sure somebody said this before. if you have a serious problem, why write to a newspaper advice column? that would take weeks before you get an answer. >> jeff: and selected, too. that is why we read them, i don't read the advice, the letters are hilarious, it is a

bunch of frat guys sitting around making this stuff up. >> greg: i got a job writing for penthouse letters in the '80'ses. i had to keep taking breaks. i'm not joking by the way. >> jeff: requires creativity. >> greg: it does, nobody writes to advice columns. pacing around, when is she going to reply? it has been six weeks. >> greg: i have a fast-growing cancer. dear, doctor, i have a fast-growing cancer, do you have any suggestions? >> tyrus: i need a stamp. >> charlie: don't tell me see a physician. >> greg: a $25,000 tip made a delivery guy flip.

♪ >> >> greg: thank you. thank you. thank you.

all right. tipping only 25% led to a driver's discontent and she got cursed for not reaching into her purse. a texas door dash driver was fired after he cursed a customer's 25% tip in a viral video clip. according to doorbell security cam posted on tiktok by the customer, she ordered a pizza for $20 and tipped the delivery guy $5. what a bitch. yeah. you know whose side i'm on. $5 on $20 bill seems reasonable, especially considering how bad pizza in texas must be. i hear the toppings are bullets and armadillos. in your face, texas. see how the interaction played out. >> hi. >> hello. >> come here.

>> max. >> there you go. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. >> i want to say, nice house for a $5 tip. >> you're welcome. >>-- you. >> greg: that escalated. she was later found dead. you think that is funny? not true, but it is not funny. the clip sparked debate online about what is acceptable tip and whether it is legal to have a trap door that empties into an alligator pit. what pisses me off about this story, that driver got fired from door dash because it went viral and the guy that threatened to kill me from door dash wasn't fired. remember that story? >> kat: i do. i don't think, did you tell everybody? >> greg: no, i called police and

got a note that he won't be delivering to your apartment anymore. he threatened to kill me. followed me in. >> people were outraged. >> what did you do to piss him off? >> blame the victim, charlie? >> how were you dressed? not wearing socks again? how many times have we told you? >>ir waing sweats and my doggie. >> greg, people disagree with this driver. >> greg: anyway. here is the problem with this kat, you shouldn't tip based on price of the meal, but the distance someone comes. >> kat: how do you know what the distance is? they don't give play-by-play of the show. >> tyrus:s three minutes out. >> kat: that is the restaurant. >> greg: do you think that was a good tip? >> kat: yeah, that was 25%.

i don't think you tip based on the value of your home. i mean, i think of the guy, wasn't he wearing like cargo shorts? i'm already not on his side. those aren't cargo shorts. khakis and rehearsing the whole way there. $5. just seeing that man and those shortses rehearsing to himself the whole way there, i wish i could fire him from more things. >> greg: you can fire him, i think his name is cory. no such thing as a good cory, do you notice this? go through history, not even a world leader named cory. >> tyrus: cory feldman. >> i hate that guy. >> tyrus: he has a new album out. >> greg: cori booker. i rest my case. >> tyrus: you won there, not because he's a democrat, he

tells stupid stories with his face too close online. we can't stand him. he might have great ideas, brother, back up. >> greg: he talks like -- >> >> tyrus: like we don't know english. today, guys, i went outside and saw the sun. >> greg: like he ate a piece of pizza that was too hot. >> tyrus: maybe i got a couple days off in the sun, i'm the only one thinking rationally, nothing to do with tips. it has everything to do with the fact he reached less than 25% of his life's potential. he's 35 years old, delivering pizza to low and behold a girl he dised in high school and he had to go to her house and put on his best khakis hoping to rekindle and she has a wonderful house and doesn't even remember

him. it is not her fault you are e essence of a loser and i'm shocked, he is white, i thought you guys do better than that, with privilege and such. nothing to do with tip and everything to do with his life sucks and that is best he can say to her and she still didn't remember him. best thing would be if he walked away and she said, cory? >> kat: if we normalize door dash delivery people being critical of you, i would have had to institutionalize myself. you know how i look when i answer door dash? not good. >> we don't get door dash. >> greg: are you still staying at the hospital? >> i agree, it is unrighteous what happened. she's cheap, obviously, she

lives in her mansion, saved her $10 and gets all the publicity and fame she wants because her video went viral, worst part. he's out of a job and unemployable in a sales environment. >> tyrus: he was already unemployable, he was working at door dash at 35 years of age. >> charlie: only thing i hate is your story. >> tyrus: that is the truth. i've been there, i know the look, all you can say is nice -- house. >> greg: maybe get rid of tipping, other countries don't do it. everyone has empathy for the service industry. everyone should have to be a server once in their life. how about everyone be a cop for

a week of their life, how about sympathy for that job or any of the jobs. for somen ra, a guy on door douche, everyone feels bad for him. the guy is a jerk. he said the f word to a customer and $5 is fine. that's a good tip. >> tyrus: all he did was deliver it. >> he didn't make the pizza. some scum bag. >> greg: up next, a flyer delayed a flight because a passenger gave her a fright. i'm jonathan lawson here to tell you about life insurance through the colonial penn program. if you're age 50 to 85, and looking to buy life insurance on a fixed budget, remember the three ps. what are the three ps? the three ps of life insurance on a fixed budget are price, price, and price.

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♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: >> greg: airline passenger boasts she won't fly with a ghost, which means it must be time for -- oh, man, you're going to flip when you see this clip. it's time for greg's greatest video of the week. video of the week. >> greg: all >> greg: all right. this video starts in american

airlines passenger blatherring on about why she's getting off the plane. it was caught on camera, the flight leaving dallas for orlando on sunday. she's telling you she is getting the f off and there is a reason she's getting the f off. >> say whatever you want, i'm telling you, i'm getting the f off and there is a reason i'm getting the f off and everyone can either believe it or they cannot believe it. i don't give two -- i am telling you right now, i'm -- not real. and you can sit on this plane and you can die with him or not, i'm not going to. >> greg: ah, scary. yeah, she sounds like dana when she sits in coach. you know what, reminds me of "evil dead 2," the lady goes,

that is not my grandmother, in the basement. you people. the lady was removed. it was unclear if she was arrested or not, was she referring to beast or zombie, a figure? the airline released this photo. who the hell just happened there? that is not acting, tyrus, she saw something and she was warning the people. did that flight make it? >> they got off. >> greg: carrot top was on that, i wish they crashed. >> they are all alive and i believe all women. >> greg: hashtag, me, too. >> i believe in lizard people, i don't believe they are flying from dallas forth on coach, they are on air force one. that is where they're at. >> tyrus: they wanted to go to

magic kingdom. >> greg: point out, i don't want the plane to crash, just carrot top to crash. >> tyrus: best part, she said over there, and the camera guy looked. who didn't turn back? whoever didn't turn back, that is the conjuring. do we have the technology? >> greg: we have the tape of carrot top. >> tyrus: she goes, when the camera man goes back. i need a prequell for this one. camera goes back, the person who doesn't look like was the ghost or the entity. i believe karen here. >> greg: it's the blond lady, it's dana perino. >> tyrus: i don't watch scary

movies. >> greg: it is carrot top, he was on the flight. >> we are sitting in dallas now because she lost her ear bud, seriously. >> greg: that is not carrot top, that is the mascot from 7-11, is that actually carrot top? >> he's transitioning. >> greg: he transitioned from a man to the woman and stopped in the middle. >> tyrus: the explanation about lost an ear bud is plausible as anything else. this day, you don't know if she is off her meds, certifiable, she's on a plane, which is miserable, or she's looking for clicks. >> greg: that is legit. >> she's in jail. >> greg: i think she took an edible. >> kat: her whole life is over. i feel bad for her. this is out there, she can never

get a job. whatever friend she was with, they will not want to do drugs with her again. she can't be a bum, they don't want to do drugs with her either. she was trying to be nice. rather than save herself, guys, i don't know you, we are all going to die, let's go. >> greg: lieb the movie "knock on the cabin door," you got to believe -- >> pick two. >> greg: kill them. >> jeff: second horror film reference. >> greg: every horror film is based on somebody trying to warn you. >> she got kicked off the plane and told the boyfriend she couldn't come see him. he is going to door dash to get money to get his girl out of there. he goes to a rich house and she only gives him $5 and his crazy

wife is stuck with the demons moving in. >> greg: his buddy left his cocaine at the white house. >> tyrus: yes, and this started the whole thing in the first place. >> greg: and they may end up missing the wedding. >> everyone was hard on her because she was hot. that is not what crazy people look like. >> tyrus: oh, yeah, they do, that is how they suck you in. she's beautiful. you write on the window, help. >> move on, another great topic. do you lie awake sexting by mistake?

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♪ >> a story in five words. >> greg: ever sext to your parents? i guess we'll go to kat first, you are youngest. people are sharing text messages they sent to their parents by mistake, including sexual text messages. is it worse to send one or receive one? what if you got one from your parents? assuming they are with us. >> kat: my mom is dead, that would be awesome.

i would be happy she is having fun up there. >> greg: she is on cloud nine, cloud 69. >> kat: something good to say about someone's parent. >> greg: name of a great bar. what are we talking about? >> kat: sending text to the wrong person. i don't think i've done that. i've regretted texts i sent to the right person. >> greg: what i've done so many times, sending to the group text. charlie and it is charlie and rose and steven and mary and it is like, oh, charlie, i can't wait to see your shirtless body hanging over my bath rung and it goes to everybody. >> greg loves you, dude. >> greg: too old. >> tyrus: one day his little game will backfire on him.

he'll have a fatal attraction on his hand. tell me more about my eyes, watch, gutfeld. i'll do like i do in all the group texts, release me. >> greg: you know what i'm saying. >> tyrus: i didn't talk to my parents much, let alone on regular stuff. i got caught up in a group chat that was talking ship about me and wouldn't stop. i was part of a group message for a dinner. i broke up and they talked about me. take me off the strand. that might be true, i don't need to hear about it. >> greg: dumbest thing, i make that mistake, it is embarrassing, jeff, you don't believe this is real, do you? you believe this is all simulation. >> lazy journalism, this person

wanted 4th of july off, went to a reddit thread. we can acknowledge a lot of problems are technology and smarten fos. you never got the wrong person on a rotary phone. >> greg: true. you know what -- >> you got to start over. >> tyrus: call waiting objection gets you if you click the wrong way. >> greg: if you're the killer, it takes forever. you hope your phone number doesn't have a lot of zeros in it, you get strangled. >> then you would have to describe your -- >> greg: i seek out people with long phone numbers. >> tyrus: can you imagine greg going to choke you? >> greg: charlie -- >> from the high chair. >> stop. stop. >> the step stool murderer. erer.

[cheers and applause [cheering] >> greg: that's pretty good, pretty good. >> tyrus: i already went, cut this if you want. me and a wrestling buddy was at a friend's house. playing with laptop that connected to the tv and the daughter's sex romps showed up on the family screen tv like a family meal of food. i am like. it was pretty graphic stuff, like hair brush, getting weird and my wrestling buddy was like. and the mom was like, click. and went about her business and entire family acted like they saw nothing and it was a good five minutes. i was into the plot. >> kat: that mom is a gaslighting queen. >> i think these things are made

up, i meant to send a sex message to dan and sent to dad. >> greg: i'll remember that, charlie. all rights, don't go away, we'll be right back. , don't go away, be right back.

>> greg: we're out of time, thanks to charlie hurt -- i'm greg gutfeld. i love you. [cheering] >> carley: fox news alert, treasury secretary janet yellen will touchdown any minutes in beijing in latest attempt by biden administration to ease tension with china. we'll unpack her visit with gordon chang coming up. >> ashley: and president biden staying tight-lipped on the drug bust. >> carley: a yankee camera operator carted off the field after getting hit in the head with a wil