laura ingraham. reminder, fox nation's patriot awards will be hoste pad by yours truly on thursday, november 16th. go to fox nation com slash patriot awards to save the date or nominate someonene you can nominate someone you know and love a patriot for an award, go to fox station com slash patriot words. you can watch that crew right there every saturdaytch tt "fox & friends weekend." thank you for watching. here's "gutfeld!." [applause] ♪ ♪ >> greg: that is true, everybody. oh, yeah, happy thursday, everybody. what a short week it is. you probably already know, california has a reparation task force and what is their task besides giving government employees something to do between renaming elementary schools after marxists and

handing out syringes, they can punish citizens for crimes committed before they were born against people they don't know, in places most of them have never even been to. that is like punishing me because in the past one of my relatives bought a red hot chili pepper record. i can't be held responsible for every white person's atrocity. the task force released report of over 1000 pages about eliminating disparities, like the one between people who own sm businesses and people who loot small businesses. like people who use the bathroom and people who pee behind trash cans. >> kat: it was one time. >> greg: yes, and it is on tape. main recommendation is

reparation, they want to give up to $1.2 million to each resident to make up for their ancestor being enslaved in other states. replacing policy with powerball. how would that work? where would money come from? why should an asian family that just moved here pay for something that happened 150 years ago. origin stories can be problematic. barack obama, descendant of slave owners. donald trump not a descend nota of slave owners. john fetterman, who is he a descendant of? you can see how it gets confusing? does joy behar pay reparation when whatever she descended from no longer exists? luckily for hillary clinton,

whomever she descended from is still very, very powerful. that is just the beginning. the task force has also called on the state legislature to cancel child support payments for black residents. >> yes, yes! >> greg: you are not in california, tyrus. >> i identify. >> greg: who does it hurt? who needs support. if not for white liberals, black families might succeed more. me favorite policy recommend agszation, i will read as is. enforced with enforcing public disorder such as ill almost. caing, minor trespass and my favorite, public urination.

a mental health crisis, responding officers neither have training or expertise with working with the vulnerable population and results in fatal force that falls on black individuals. given this overpolicing, they recommend the legislature prohibit law enforcement from criminally enforcing publicly disorder infractions and other low-level crimes. there you have it. don't enforce the law, because the guy breaking the law might be black and that is a lot of unenforced law, but it is weird, all the idea to help black californians sound racist, forgive child support debt and let people pee on the street. what liberal came up with these? david duke, joe biden? hard to tell. you still got to pay taxes, but

with added value of people literally pissing on you. california is home of earthquake, fire, mansion family, 20 seasons of "keeping up with the kardashian," but slavery was never one of them. only the rich and protected can endure. don't piss on my leg and tell me it is raining. the left doesn't even bother to lie, now they will just piss on you and call you racist for complaining. [applause] >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests, bears play dead around her, host of fox nation series, katie pavlich. [applause] >> greg: the only guy who asks how you like your terrorist cooked, former military

intelligence analyst bret vilakovich. she's like popcorn, light, salty and always popping off, fox news contributor kat timpf. [applause] >> greg: and for him, a big gulp is half a big gulp, my sidekick and world heavyweight champion tyrus. [applause] >> greg: so tyrus, looks like we're rolling with the itches. [laughter] >> greg: you got katie pavlich and vilaconovic's, rolling with the itches. does this stuff bother you? not just pissing in public, it is like trespassing. >> tyrus: it bothers me, i'm at family reunion picnic and there are two uncles in the back that

do dumb -- every year and those are the only ones they put on the family poster. the rest of us are doing our part, we work, pay taxes, but me getting up to go to the toilet is too much to ask, i will just go. it is a poor thing, it is not a black thing temperature is so easy to make it a black thing when trying to accomplish something that is stupid. if you put race in front of it, average virtue signalling. i didn't know the negroes were having a hard time going. there is cake in there, i hope the poor things didn't eat it, they can't do anything without us. >> greg: yellow cake. >> tyrus: don't touch that yellow cake, gutfeld. you need to watch more dave

chappelle. if you put black in front of it, you have to do it. it is insulting. the only thing i would even merely consider was forgiving child support. [laughter] >> tyrus: although, nice to put my money toward my kids where i want it to be besides paying for the university of phoenix to their new lover. >> kat: that was very specific. >> was it? [laughter] >> tyrus: for the kids. that would be nice, other than that, insulting. >> greg: katie, do you find the urination law -- >> katie: depends which state you are in. last time i was in california, i watched a man sucking on his own toe on the beach for a long time. >> greg: glad you said toe.

>> katie: he had pants on, that was a good thing. sucking on his own toe for a long time. >> kat: he was stressed out. >> katie: there was something happening. if public urination is going to be okay, i keep thinking how dirty that toe is. that is why people live in california. >> greg: that is why this show is moving to 10 p.m. we need this subject matter earlier on. we're on at 7:00 in california, when you are enjoying your polish sausage. why would that get applause? >> kat: i don't know. >> greg: polish people here. >> kat: i think the toe joke. really? >> greg: they are polish. bret, i'm scared. your hair looks great, you shaved your beard. almost didn't recognize you. >> look for me, all i got. >> greg: what do you make of

associating basically behavior with reparation makes no sense to me? >> this reparation task force is a scam, such a joke whachl is pee, urination law have to do with slavery, the intention for the reparation task force, that is the reason it is there. it is absurd. best part, they are saying if you are going to get prosecuted for urinating in public, people owe you money. we are funding bad behavior, funding criminality, it is absurd. >> greg: kat, you have sole your urin before. >> kat: not yet. >> greg: i've bought urine. >> katie: charge and raise taxes. >> greg: like carnivals, except you don't use the gun to squirt.

this is odd topic for monologue, kat. what is your take on this? bring us out of here. >> kat: sure, i think task force is a bit of a stretch, i don't think they are doing tasks, they are trying to outlive each other. because nobody thinks this. nobody is walking around california like, you know what the problem is, the peeing policy. it's too strict. >> greg: yes. >> kat: that is why people don't campaign on it. newsom facing recall, he wasn't like vote for gavin newsom, pee wherever. and new york, outside in the summer, quite a bit of pee on the street. we don't advertise that in tou tourism ads, come to new york and pee on it. the city that wants your pee. nobody wants this, shocking to

see them pretend they want this. nobody wants it, doesn't do any good. >> tyrus: it is racist, come to new york, we promise all the blacks pee outside, the bathroom is yours. that is racist. >> kat: yeah, i missed that part of mlk's speech. >> greg: i have a dream. >> tyrus: reminder of slavery, pretty sure we didn't get bathroom breaks. this is -- >> greg: before we go, tickets are available for my book tour with special guest tom shillue. tom shillue-ich, in clearwater, fort myers, providence, rhode island and redding, penny nance, home of the peanut bar. i just like saying that. if you can't make it live, check out my virtual event july 27 6:00 p.m., for information go to

g gutfeld.com. up next, he defended his store, then got shown the door. [cheering] e] >> announcer: if you'll be in the new york >> if you'll be in new york and would like tickets to see gutfeld, go to fox news.com and click on gutfeld and the link to join our studio audience.

[cheers and applause [cheering] >> greg: thank you. thank you. thank you, polish people. >> kat: you're welcome. >> greg: shut up. crooks got the loot and he got the boot. he filmed them stealing tide, the bosses said he should have stayed inside. a king's super employee says he was fired for filming suspects

that sold $500 in laundry detergent. they don't look like they do a lot of laundry. get yourself a belt issue fat weirdo. you can say they got away clean. [laughter] >> greg: that joke book you got me, tyrus, is helpful. santino barrola said filming them was first thing to came to mind. he was doing opposite. it is even better with sound. >> good, look at them stealing. really, bro, you got to resort to this? the economy is not that bad. better get it while the getting is good. >> greg: mmm, is this what they call bidenomics? maybe so. the suspect covered their

license plate with aluminum foil. too bad they were not bright enough to cover their faces. i recommend air tight plastic back for that. he was quick on the draw and ripped the foil off as they were getting away, helping the investigation and preventing foiled again. he is now out of a job for violates king super policy about intervening. maybe me got off easy if he tried to hurt them and hurt the poor thieves, he would have gotten the death penalty. one was caught. two got away. look for the two suspects who feel springtime fresh. brett, we are disincentivizing what good individuals do, step

in. >> brett: i hope somebody finds this guy a new job, we need good people like him. they need more people exposing this, the level of lawlessness is absurd and comes down to corporate policy. they are putting in ridiculous policies that make it so people don't stand up to criminality, don't do the right thing and shouldn't exist in america anymore. >> greg: that is the problem, katie. you tell employees, don't do anything, they get mutt into attractive nuisance. charlie taught me that, he was talking about my butt. >> katie: i will let you think that. you can steal up to $2000 of

st stuff. i am tired of the idea people can go in and steal people's stuff thchl is a local grocery store. if i can't go into the store without getting something, take it and shopping and i have to go to an attendant to get it, i will not go to the store, i will order online and thatten moos the store will close and no one can work in the community anymore. as far as lawyers, every company has this policy, liabilities, is if someone goes to chase this person or get killed it costs more for the employee than to cover the goods stolen. that is the problem. those things have been in place for a long time, now crime is out of control. >> greg: you are hearing people

say, i will do amazon. it would be great if this spread to amazon. amazon delivery trucks, stick ups when you have the stage coach, give me your packages, then people would start caring again. people like you, who don't care about america. [laughter] >> burn. >> kat: you got me there. >> greg: in your face. >> kat: yep. okay. why are they stealing laundry detergent? >> greg: those people are probably selling on e-bay or whatever. >> kat: of all items to sell, why pick the one -- it is expensive-ish, it is not that expensive and it is the avenuest thing. instead of picking something easy to transport. >> greg: not everybody can go to the jewelry store, robbing the jewelry store makes most sense,

tiny and expensive. maybe these guys are just starting out. >> kat: they show grace, they don't care they are being filmed, their cortisol levels are probably great. of all things, if i need cat litter and a six pack the same day, i'm done for, you can't carry those at the same time. >> tyrus: you can. >> kat: we are not strong as you. go for deode rants rant, bro. >> greg: a belt, while you are at it. >> kat: i got two of these, i'm going to jail. >> greg: each cost $8. >> kat: don't be a thief, if you are, don't be a dumb one.

>> greg: i threw out this idea on "the five," if they can get away with stealing from the store, somebody could get away stealing from them. why not hire kids that wait out there and take it from them and the kids get a 10% cut. >> tyrus: don't even hire the kids, whatever you steal, you keep. when the kids got done stealing it, this is laundry detergent, we don't want this. don't get mad at them for trying to clean up their act. one too many? mad at you for laughing at that goofy what he said earlier. earlier in the day, they stole a washer and dryer, that was guys who had the truck. they got home, they got a washer and dryer and they are like, okay, where is the soap? i got it. they went and got the soap, very

specific criminals. i'm sure when they got home, they were like, did you get a belt? you didn't tell me. >> greg: we are going to a party later, you're supposed to wear a belt. >> tyrus: sad to see a guy get fired. how about write him up and give him a raise, thank you for being you and don't do it again. [applause] >> greg: apparently the young man was on jesse's show earlier hosted by the judge, it went well. >> tyrus: he got eight to six. >> greg: up next, why pack your bag when you you can rent a stranger's rags? love it.

[cheers and applause >> greg: thank you. thank you. thank you. hopping on a plane and don't want to pack? then put rented clothes on your sweaty back. japan airlines is trying a new

program that gives passengers the option of renting clothing to cut down on baggage. the service, called anywhere any-wear. those crazy japanese people. delivers clothes right to a traveller's hotel. only retirement is low self-esteem. [laughter] >> greg: and the outfits will come from overflow stock and pre-owned items, known as stuff no one else wanted. prices start at $28 for five items and come in four sizes, small, medium, stelter. nots sure if this includes underwear or you will not be penalized for making skid marks.

i don't like myself. japan airlines hopes the plan will reduce carbon emission by getting rid of excess weight in the form of luggage. it doesn't come with high line for women to ask if any of the items make them look fat? >> a sexist would say. >> greg: really? bottom line, airline better be clear as now service works, otherwise this could happen. >> can i have your attention, please, mr. richard bonilla, international service desk on the lower -- >> how you doing? >> my goodness, sir, you are naked. >> of course i am, japan supply clothing for you. >> they do not do that. >> you should try it big boy. you would save a lot of space if

you came like me. we will sit together and have a drink. >> god, i hope not. >> yeah. [applause] >> greg: kat, they had to edit that a little bit, they left out a really important part of that. would you take part in this? >> kat: i feel like i would, i have so much trouble packing, i would still pack a bag full of other stuff. >> greg: like buying electric car, you will still have the other car? >> kat: i bring so much stuff with me, i don't know what i think, i bring every medication for every possible ailment and 20 underwear for three days. i don't know what i think is going to happen. but if it did, i would be fine. >> greg: if the plane crashed and there were survivors, you

are the lady with the underwear. >> kat: when we went to the patriot award, a producer came in my room and said, why you have so many underwear? >> greg: you could have gotten that person fired, i have a rare disease. >> kat: i don't have a rare disease, not to brag. >> greg: what about you, katie pavlich, you travel a lot on the go. >> katie: i think maybe this is better for men than women, women are more specific about what they wear and how things fit and what sizing is like. i mean, people might think it is weird. if you stay in a hotel, you are sleeping in a bed that is clothing, a sheet is clothing, you are renting that bed. >> greg: sometimes by the hour. >> katie: some of us do that and others do not.

>> greg: true. tyrus, only clothing we rent is tuxes for proms. >> tyrus: when is last time you did that. never mind, don't want to know. >> greg: fans say, greg, will you be my prom date, i am the only person that says yes. i've been to 40 proms in three or four years. i just go. sometimes i'm not even invitesed. >> tyrus: that, like this, is stupid idea. i'm biassed because even stout as stelter is, that is one of my legs, they don't have anything for me. kat said it perfectly, she will just pack with something else. 45 pounds of -- you don't vape anymore. your book, people like suitcases and overpack.

where you going? to my grandma's for the weekend and you have four suitcases. i will rent clothes when i get there. how do you know they are going to a hotel room? there are what have you and what not, what is their favorite color? a lot of things can go wrong with this. you said worse for women than men, way worse for men, we sit in that hotel room, no, it looks good. >> greg: yeah. >> wear the other one. >> which one is better? so you hate this one? >> they're all good. >> greg: brett, you traveled a lot in military killing people, did you learn tricks of packing. you had to sneak in and out like a cat burglar when you were strangling people with wire? >> brett: no, but i would definitely do this, i am

obsessed with not having wrinkled shirts. it is the worst. i just came from poland, by the way, and i'm wearing airline clothes, my socks from the airline. >> greg: they move down to below your heel, they don't have a lot of elastic. >> brett: it is happening right now as we speak. >> greg: who did you kill in crackou? >> brett: i kill people with kindness now. >> greg: is that the name of your gun? they are applauding a murderer. >> brett: they laugh at your jokes. tooirps >> tyrus: if you are renting clothes, good chance you would get someone else's d.n.a. if he did murder someone, leaves d.n.a. and poor gutfeld steps off, you are about the same

size. put on his suit and the d.n.a. is on there, all it takes is one hair. >> kat: i always think about that when i'm buying my hair. i hope she did not kill anybody. >> greg: i hope she did and you get busted for the crime. >> kat: that was a joke. >> greg: i know. >> tyrus: but you did it way better. >> greg: thank you. coming up, if feeling depressed, my animal friends will surely impress.

♪ if you love the birds and trees and fishes in the seas, if you think videos of pets is as good as it gets, this segment is for you. time to celebrate greg's animal friends. celebrate greg's animal friends. ♪

[cheering] >> greg: i watched that like five times without noticing how dark it goes in the end. >> tyrus: goes dark pretty quick. >> greg: i sent to people at fox. it's so cute, you didn't watch it, you wouldn't have tsdz it is so cute. welcome back to greg's animal friends or gaffe. feel free to use that, what is on gaffe? share video of amazing creature, laugh, cry, might get worms from kat. what is your animal story? >> kat: great. nailed it. my story is a video of a man -- >> greg: okay. >> kat: walking down the street with an alligator on his shoulder. i wish i could have been there, one question i would ask him.

>> greg: what would that question be? >> kat: what are your plans for the day? >> tyrus: it is sad, kat, he only has one shoe on. i think he's about to make some gator boots. >> kat: i mean -- >> greg: all one shoe mcghee. >> kat: the plot thickens. >> tyrus: making boots. >> katie: that is a pinkie worth of boots. >> greg: they have been living together for quite sometime and he injured his food and the alligator, crocodile? >> kat: i -- >> tyrus: kat is looking like not a happy ending. >> greg: brett, animal? please tell me you didn't kill it. >> brett: it is safe, i heard.

dramatic video of a woman rescuing her dog from a moose by throwing a sandal at it. look at that. she sights the moose like with a hammer of god, like throws that sandal dead square in the moose eye. >> greg: incredible. a woman actually threw that, unusual for a woman -- >> own line of sandals. >> greg: go over the genetics of it. >> tyrus: why are you looking at me? >> she's been training that whole moment for that. her moment. >> greg: did it with a sandal, apparently an affordable sandal. >> tyrus: your mom never threw a shoe at you? never missed. >> kat: maybe the gator guy was throwing the shoe. >> lost a shoe. >> tyrus: all coming together

now. >> greg: yes, afterward they urinated together. >> tyrus: because he was black? just got that passed, can't be mad about that. it is loving time in my animal world and this is when my group tanks, the fish get together and decide who they pair up with and make eggs, i take them out and put them in. my fish get confused with my racist rules and we see discoloration, i'm trying to make the blues and stay with blues and the blues go with the blacks and make grays and they are not getting the rules of my racist systemic cake. and next thing i know, that blue hooked up with a white girl in front of me in my own house. lights on, swimming in the daylight. the white guy trying to leave.

>> greg: he will come back with his friends. >> tyrus: my hybrids. >> katie: is this by the hour kind of tank? [cheering] >> katie: no comment. >> tyrus: yes, it is by the hour, so you have more time to kill baby seals. >> greg: speaking of which, i'm interested in your animal story, katie pavlich. >> katie: at the beach, seagulls try to eat your french fries, they eat other things, including whole squirrels. gulfed it down like -- >> kat: i knew yours would be murderous. >> katie: this is greg after every show, he is starving and eats the squirrels. one bite. look at that. he can't breathe. >> bottomed out.

>> greg: where did you find this video? >> katie: on -- >> greg: i have to say you were talking about mating, reminds me of high school program, everybody pairs up. i would not want to be a fish. >> tyrus: you are small, they would eat you. it is a fish, different. thanks for trying. >> greg: move on, why diversity needs to grow on tv's wokest show.

ah, these bills are crazy. she has no idea she's sitting on a goldmine. well she doesn't know that if she owns a life insurance policy of $100,000 or more she can sell all or part of it to coventry for cash. even a term policy. even a term policy? even a term policy! find out if you're sitting on a goldmine. call coventry direct today at the number on your screen, or visit coventrydirect.com.

is it possible to protect my business from cyber threats? it is, with comcast business. helping every connected device stay protected. yours. your employees'. even... susan? hers, too. safe. secure. and powered by the next generation 10g network. with comcast business, advanced security isn't just possible.

it's happening. get started wih fast spees and advanced security for $49.99a month for 12 monts plus ask how to get up to a $750 prepaid card with qualifying internet.

>> a story in five words. >> greg: thank you, thank you for that polite applause. it feels so good coming from my fans. a story in five words. it's time for drag kings. i think i am going to you first, brett you seem like a big fan of rue paul's drag race. a former contestant on drag race said the show could have more gender diversity by adding drag kings, which are women who dress

in drag to look like dudes. what do you make of this? is it time for drag kings? did you think this question would be posed from you, especially cing from crackou? >> brett: as if drag shows weren't enough to stomach, now men can wear lingerie. back in my day, just bold enough to wear pink. now hairy legs. >> greg: harry styles going around in dresses. why do i know that? i don't know. who am i talking to? later. talking to somebody in iowa. you don't think it is good idea? >> brett: no. >> greg: i think we need more equity in drag, not equality, equity. >> katie: isn't it just called a

lesbian sometimes? >> greg: i don't know about that. >> katie: i mean -- >> greg: i'll have to think about that. >> katie: take a poll. >> greg: i don't know, it is more sexism, okay for men to do it, but women can't. >> katie: do you remember the women's march, i will not say the word, it is -- >> greg: i was saying pussycat, it rhymes with that. >> katie: it killed off the movement basically, got rid of it. it eats its own. >> greg: kat, you love a good drag show, what say you about drag kings? why is there a show? why are you hosting it? why is it on fox nation? why is it 11 episodes and you are going city to city.

>> kat: i would be a great drag queen if i stopped all this, i would be a great drag king. not like i have to tape my boobs down. i would not put my hair in. the way i get ready for work is similar to what a drag queen does, i stop doing those, i could be a drag king maybe. eyeliner mustache and i look fully like a dude. >> greg: easy for you on halloween, kat. >> kat: i was kurt cobane this year. >> greg: i do homework for fox news issue not a lot of short drag queens and no one is standing up for them. most drag queens are 6-feet or 6-1. i'm a nine inch heel.

>> tyrus: i don't even know what the categories would be. watching tv with your hand in your pants? laying under a car pretending you are doing something. >> greg: like category for drag king. >> kat: being in public. >> tyrus: never asking for directions. no, that is only on black kings. what would it be? paying attention without paying attention when a woman talks? the things we've mastered. thank you. i know know the events, drag queens have dancing and singing. >> greg: and they are not even good at it. >> kat: they are very good at it. you have never watched a drag show. >> greg: they don't do dance moves, i know. >> tyrus: it is lip syncing, i guess for drag kings, you could

lip sync clint eastwood movies. >> greg: movie quotes. don't go away, we'll be right back. yes.

hey, i just got a text from my sister. you remember rick, her neighbor? sure, he's the 76-year-old guy who still runs marathons, right? sadly, not anymore. wow. so sudden. um, we're not about to have the "we need life insurance" conversation again, are we? no, we're having the "we're getting coverage so we don't have to worry about it" conversation. so you're calling about the $9.95 a month plan -from colonial penn? -i am. we put it off long enough. we are getting that $9.95 plan, today. (jonathan) is it time for you to call about the $9.95 plan? i'm jonathan from colonial penn life insurance company. sometimes we just need a reminder not to take today for granted. if you're age 50 to 85, you can get guaranteed acceptance whole life insurance starting at just $9.95 a month. there are no health questions so you can't be turned down for any health reason.

the $9.95 plan is colonial penn's number one most popular whole life plan. options start at just $9.95 a month. that's less than 35 cents a day. your rate can never go up. it's locked in for life. call today for free information. and you'll also get this free beneficiary planner, so call now. (soft music) ♪ hello, colonial penn?

>> greg: out of time. thanks to katie pavlich and brett velicovich. [cheering] >> greg: i love you, america. y. [cheers and applause [cheering] >> carley: breaking this morning, police are looking for the group of teenagers accuse of murdering an afghan interpreter who escaped the taliban, only to be shot while working as a lyft driver. we have the latest on this story. >> ashley: and no real information about the bag of cocaine found in the white house. and even biden's friends are not happy about the stonewalling. >> i was found