all right. last night, it was the sea lion snatching a fisherman's catch. tonight elephants that was fighting over a bagel, i believe. fighwhat animal will be fightinr for it tomorrow night? >> all right. thank you for watching. remember? it's always america noit's aw ge and forever. and greg gutfeld takes it all from here. ldre anything cuter than a baby elephant? i say no. ♪ [cheers an >> greg: thank you. keep clapping. don't stop! don't ever stop. is this real? happy wednesday, everybody. so it seems the country is running out of one of the most celebrated natural resources. it is not oil or natural gas, eric swalwell has that covered.

it's victimhood. only today could people more pampered and celebrated than you are claim to be victims of the rest of us. like sharing a bucket of sardines with joy behar, there is only so much victimhood to go around. going to greater loenths to extract new sources of whining or mining for whining, led by meghan rappinoe, and now happily endorsed biological men playing women's sports, especially now that she no longer plays. the men are victims, not the girls they replace or beat. we are trying to legislate away people's full humanity. now we care about women's sports, that is total -- show me the trans people taking

advantage of being trans in sports, it is just not happening. well, meghan, it is happening. she is right in one respect, no one cares about women's sports, as much as we care about fairness or line cutting. the line to the winner's circle is shorter if you are a dude playing women's sports. tennis legend navratilova, single work, yikes. she once called me an ass wipe. call me, martina. and claiming dave chappelle making jokes about trans people leads to violence against trans

people. of course the times reporter didn't ask back. you would think they would ask meghan, what violence are you talking about. unlike peep whole find me unattractive, they are nowhere to be found. where are the stats? that follow-up question is reeverybody issed for republicans. is there evidence debating this topic led to mass violence against trans people? is there some database we don't know about? is there a secret one of white supremacy and parental terrorism? maybe in the file with the white house cocaine test results and joe biden cognitive test. truth is, as often is, the reverse. when biological men, people we used to just call men, participate in women's sportses, women get hurt.

men, too, if gamblers put their money on women and biological male played volleyball and spiked the ball so hard the female opponent suffered a concussion. none of the players ever let me near them. what happens when men enters boxing? does anyone not think if lebron james took a few on hormones, he wouldn't dominate and make it interesting. he could get more points in basketball than kat did on her sats. only demonstrated violence around dave chappelle was to dave chappelle when he was attacked onnige sta. the media forget that while chasing other violence.

just because some biomen, that doesn't mean trans athletes do. if i wanted to smear people, i would work at a mud spa. if you dare say it is wrong for men to beat girls in sports or activist doctors can override you removing your child's healthy organs, then you are called a trans phobe. it pays to choose ideology over biology. for a feminist who turned against women, make herself a hero, because she has no more goals to score. she wants to be mlk, gandhi or gutfeld. finally, let's not blame violence on jokes. if someone stuffs brian kilmeade

in a locker, that is on them. welcome tonight's guests. if you can say her name three times fast, you are fit to drive. kayleigh mcenany. he's seen more bad pitches than a catcher for the mets, shark tank co-star kevin o'leary. new yorkers have remorse for not betting on this horse, former new york city congressman lee zeldin. and inspiration for raccoons eating out of your trash can, fox news contributor kat timpf. welcome to the show, you look as kevin o'leary as ever. you always look the same, very persuasive, you never change. you are just oozing money like

gold bouillon flows from your armpits. >> i feel even better with that. >> greg: say i want to make a pitch to you. why not a league for trans athletes? i don't know, pick a sport you like. >> pickleball. >> greg: do you think men are better at pickleball than women? >> you have a great idea for a solution here. start with leagues, say you started as a man or woman, two leagues we basically said have gone for decades, that works. if you decide to make a change for whatever people, i'm pro-people, pro-trans, i don't care. >> greg: their money is green. >> exactly. the third category, everybody seems to accept, you play each other so you level the playing field on physical ability. trans league innic approximatelball, i would invest in that. i have been offered a lot of pickleball leagues, i haven't

got into it yet. >> greg: i have never played pickleball, for thatten ra, i'm out. i love cornhole. hard to tell if there are biological differences in men and women, interesting to see studies on cornhole. what am i? >> i would not give up your day job. >> greg: this is why i am not rich, kayleigh. as a sports gambler, you must think about this. do you look at teams and see how many trans women are on the team before you bet? the men who are now women will dominate. let's say women's basketball and they are four trans females, they are going to win. >> kayleigh: yes, bet on the trans, take it from a sports better. always have to. this is ridiculous. what this comes down to, contest

between empty platitude and science. science, the left loves that word until the left doesn't benefit their platitude. don't say gay bill, that is platitude, thatten moos not putting sex in classrooms. beloved science, dr. fauci, where are you? i did research for your show, national institute of health on their website, a journal article says the former male physiology of trans women athletes provides them with physiological advantage. if you are taking hormones, the testosterone during puberty affects you differently. my favorite take, megan rapinoe. david axelrod, she would be interesting politician someday if so inclined. i don't know if i would rather

her be a journalist or princess kate, take your pick. >> greg: i don't really care about female women's soccer, i didn't even know it existed until today. the side sheic tatakes is outside the field. kids in locker rooms, that is where it is the problem. nobody really cares about the soccer, they care about what happens when there is a guy in the locker room and she sides with the guy. if there is a guy in your locker room and he is kien of aroused, which has happened00 >> kat: what locker room are you in? >> greg: the fox locker room. there will be a woman with an epenis or a technician and the guy will ask him to remove the

hair around his testicles. >> what? >> greg: yes. you can google this stuff. my point being, she issic taking the side of somebody she perceives as a victim, when in fact it is the other people who are the victim. second question, lee, did you become a golf pro? >> not at all. take a pass on this question and give to kat and i'll take the next one. first off, i have 16-year-old girls, just finished 11th grade, they directly relate to this and they are seeing people in elected office who are not looking out for their own kids. they are politicizing the safety and security of their own kids. if messi or mbappi wake up tomorrow and decide they are

trans and the u.s. soccer team are not able to get gold, can rapinoe say that is fair? if a trans athlete is snatching a spot from a woman, denying her of her dream, can you argue that is right? rapinoe is engaging in a particular attack on women participating in female sportses that is biggest attack and it is megan rapinoe engaging in the attack and relatability to parents who see the connection to their own kids upbringing. >> greg: that is a good point, but i don't have kids, i can't make that comparison. sniveling little bastards. did you see my e-mail? this is interesting.

you might know from canada. 2016 olympics, three runners were trans that won first, second and third, like the 800-meter. there is water on my phone. i guess it was canada, you know what i'm talking about? >> i've heard this story again, again canada is first in something. >> greg: there you go, canadian teacher is my hero. kat, take us home, what do you think? >> kat: the way we are having this conversation is wrong and not good for anybody as society. >> greg: how so? this show is best conversation arena for anything. [cheering] >> greg: get her out of here, how dare you. how dare you. >> kat: especially when you try to say that i'm saying something i'm not so you can get applause. thatten means a lot to me. people say you can't make jokes

about know tras people, treating them as untouchable, that puts them in a different category of their own, opposite of what activists are saying they want. what they should want is to be included. i think that like any group, trans people are not a monolithes, there are individuals that are different, there are things they have in common with the rest of us. they care about their friends, they don't care about women's soccer and been lumped into one issue and people want to use them as a pawn in an argument that divides us further and that doesn't do anybody any good. >> greg: fair comment. i got applause. applaud again. >> greg: before we go, tickets available with tom shillue, fort myers, providence and redding,

pennsylvania, home to the peanut bar, you jerks. go to g gutfeld.com. sneak preview, it is 30 seconds. >> greg: what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ >> no, no, no. >> thank you. >> greg: that sold me. >> that is shameless promotion. >> greg: it is, you should love it. you should invest in me. i will give you 3% of me. >> not enough. >> greg: in perpetuity. >> seven and a half. >> greg: how much do i get if i

give you 7% of me. up next, he didn't win any loot in his birthday suit.

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>> gutfeld presents another vegas story. what the hell just happened and whatever it was, what the hell was that? >> greg: yeah, he flaunted his junk putting gamblers in a funk. a 35-year-old tourist, aren't they all, was arrested after bizarre nude is ca paid at harrah's casino on sunday. tmz giving me the video no doubt doing god's work. brian, i don't know his last name. strolling along but things took a turn for the worst when he hopped on a table. roll it.

>> greg: that was the roulette table. but who knows if his ball landed on red or black. yeah. but here's where it really gets good. that is disgusting. i didn't even see that! wow, that makes this joke a little bit more troubling. but, trust me, it's nothing i haven't seen innen the fox and friends green room. but security finally showed up and got him under control. brian's family told the new york post his behavior was completely out of character, someone spiked his drink with a hallucinogenic drug at a bachelor party earlier that night which explains his altered state of mind. apparently he doesn't remember a

thing that happened. his wife is 33 weeks pregnant, says they're good people and her husband's a great person and he would never act in such a way. and that he's the victim. they just bought a home together. brian, a computer program was still busted for disorderly conduct and five counts of indecent exposure. he was also slapped with a battery charge for allegedly slugging, slugging a 1-leggedman. probably for putting his remaining foot down. but the question remains, why would a normal male decide to ruin his life? is it obviously a case of being drugged? we go to our experienced expert on the unique affect of elicit substance. >> kayleigh: not me! no. >> greg: kayleigh, i'm so interested in this story because i think that like we hear of people getting drugged and

turning into something that they're not. his friends say that he was claiming that he was feeling unusual after having a drink. what do you believe? do you believe that this is just like a crime that happened to him, not a crime he committed? >> kayleigh: well, first i believe i've been defamed as a sports bettor and a drug connoisseur. take it back. i thought deeply about this story. it is very peculiar and apparently he said he was just sitting around talking about homeowner's insurance. >> greg: right. >> kayleigh: and then someone comes to him with a drink and it was a pretty innocuous drink seemingly and 10-15 minutes later he gets paranoid and runs out and does this? i'm sorry something doesn't add up. i'm just glad it's long island man and florida man so i don't have to claim this individual. >> greg: i would like to give a shout-out to our blurrer. >> kayleigh: that's good blurring. >> greg: had a very busy week blurring a lot of things. imagine what his nightmares are like being the blurrer, the

things they can't see they can't talk about the problems they bring home to their family. i don't want to talk about it. and his wife is blurred. look at me for once, she yells! he can't see anything. okay. the expert here, she didn't give an answer. that guy's dancing. can you be spiked with an elicit substance and still dance like that? that's what i'm wondering? >> kat: i think it's the only explanation for dancing like that. like alcohol, oh, he got too drunk. he seemed to be possessed by something. i'm completely on his side because regardless of any dispute about whether he was drugged or not, there's no dispute that that's actually what you should say. >> greg: yeah. >> kat: these are smart people. these are smart people. these are good people. and his wife, this is relationship goals. she's pregnant, she's not mad at all. she's like it is horrible what

someone did to my husband. anyone who's just mad about this is mad they don't have that kind of relationship at home. screw all these jobers, look at our happy relationship. no this right here is the relationship we should all strive to have. >> absolutely >> kat: this baby is the luckiest baby in the world. >> lee: i take a completely different tact on this. when you go to vegas all the casinos look the same. this was harrah's i think? they're all the same. now how do you differentiate yourself? you get performance artists. that's what he is. if i knew i could see that guy perform every night let's say 8:00. >> greg: you can at my place. >> kevin: i'm telling you there's no reason for him to get arrested that's a performance, it's eclectic art and at this particular ca enon every night at 8:00. they'll get thousands more people streaming in there. that's marketing. that's marketing. >> greg: that's it. and you would invest in that

>> kevin: i'm going to invest right now. >> greg: lee do you have a law degree? >> lee: on i do. >> greg: i knew you were a lawyer. have you ever held the gutfeld theory of insane exxonration, that if you commit a crime you do it with such absurdity that the only excuse could be insanity. so if i were to mug you, which you would probably beat me up but let's say you were asleep, i mug you and then draw all over you and then spend the money on like furbies and then you go he's not guilty by insanity. is he insane? what would you do if you were defending him? >> lee: first off there was a whole block on this studying for the bar exam on your theory. i feel like i'm an expert but not as much of an expert as you. i would say there has to be some level of, i don't know if insanity's the right word, but i believed the theory that there was something in his system making him act like this.

i love how the saying has withstood the test of time by the way, what happens in vegas ends up on gutfeld. this is so appropriate that we're talking about it. >> greg: people underestimate the effects of like substances. i always go back to that guy on the plane, it was connecticut, and he ended up defecating on the drink cart. >> oh, god. >> greg: and he was an md, a nice guy. but he had like some kind of pill and he went up and lost his mind. i think we all should say a prayer for people who defecate on drink carts. >> kayleigh: yikes. >> greg: i don't know why i brought that up. don't look at me like i have a problem >> kat: i know you can't help yourself. >> greg: up next a zoo say

ow! uh oh. you, ok? no... i mean yeah. -just hit my melon. -yikes! should we see a doctor? i can't tell a doctor i slipped on a toy. i'm a triathlete! i had a concussion. most happen doing ordinary things. sometimes the tough thing to do is to get help to prevent serious damage. i like your sensitive side. don't mess with your melon. if you hit it, get it checked. ♪ >> greg: welcome back. >> greg: welcome back, thank you. it's nice you have a phone, but leave the monkeys alone.

the >> tory: zoo is telling visitors to stop showing video to the gorillas some content can be upsetting with affect their behavior within their family. sounds am if, right? what videos could be so bad they would risk ruining an entire family? was it this? >> step in there and hit the ball. >> look at that. >> that is -- >> look at that. >> oh. >> oh. >> greg: yuck. or was it this? [screaming] >> imagine that? [screaming] >> greg: or could it be this? ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ >> greg: he didn't think anybody would notice. the zoo proved certain videos were addictive. they all had one thing in common. the zoo supervisor says she is worried about what a younger gorilla might see and said other gorillas might find it comforting to see another pri primate. the foremost monkey expert is taking from the press. [monkey sounds] >> doctor, you say enjoy, does that mean sex with monkeys is back on the menu? >> yes, no cell phone videos. what about erotic photography.

my cousin shoots tasteful nudes. >> wait, doctor, the animals are nude, can we be nude while we watch the animals? [laughter] [animal sounds] >> greg: kat, who does the monkey sounds? is that joe mackey? >> kat: that guy in the audience has inside knowledge. >> greg: what is happening to the primates, the social media and phones and videos, this is amazing, right? >> kat: yes, i will toss to another video. >> greg: really? how will the show be different? throwing caution to the wind and adding second exclamation point to the logo. take that, cnn.

>> gutfeld airing one hour earlier beginning july 17th. >> kat: i think the zoo did a bad thing. i didn't want to show videos to gorillas before. now i do. the younger gorilla will get addicted. you know how powerful that would make me feel knowing somewhere in a canada there is a gorilla that couldn't stop thinking about me. >> greg: avenge all who made you you feel pain. >> kat: you get it. >> greg: i do. like many weird things, kevin, this happened in canada. what is going on in your strange little city? >> kevin: i was born in montreal, i have a right to say this, i have an canadian passport. canada is the richest country on earth, run by idiots. i get criticism for that, which

part is wrong? it is really rich and really run by idiots. this issue, let me speak on behalf of the gorilla community. you lock us in cages, nothing to do. it gets really, really boring and then you take our videos away? i speak primate and we're pissed. that's it. [applause] >> greg: lee, where are you on this? are you as outraged as us you are depriving monkeys of videos or think it is -- here we're ac doing a better job raising monkeys and gorillas than we are raising your own kids. you want to take your five year island to drag queen story hour, brilliant what could go wrong. but don't show that monkey a video of another monkey eating a banana because that [bleep]'s just bonkers. [cheers and applause]

>> greg: i sense an idea, kevin, for shark tank. drag queen story hour for monkeys. five monkeys, five monkeys, four monkeys, made in canada, where it's cheaper but beautiful. kayleigh, we did this story as an excuse to bring back our monkeypox spokesperson. >> kayleigh: my daughter's obsessed with that monkey spokesperson, you had it sitting out and a received arm sitting out and my daughter was like mommy where is there a bloody arm over at gutfeld. i spent the morning researching nato and bidenomics and then i saw this was a story and it's the one story of the day i could not come up with a point for so i just decided to order my uber eats during this, so i apologize. that's my point. >> greg: what did you get. >> kayleigh: i've done that before on the so taco bell.

>> greg: you've ordered before while on here. >> kayleigh: yeah. >> greg: disgusted. we have to move on, canadians won't be trippin

♪ >> coast to coast with >> coast to coast with stories that matter most, you're watching local news with 70-time emmy award winner chet van janesen. here is chet. >> greg: congratulations to chet, his brief break, won four more emmys. i think he's up to 74. we'll have to redo that promo tonight after work, maybe spruce it up, it is getting old and chet has not been feeling well. get on that. local news, each guest hsz to share a story from where they are from and i vote on a winner and that winner wins whatever is in kevin's wallet.

yeah. why don't we go to you first, kevin. where is your story from and what is it? >> kevin: we put these things in our ear called ifp. they say, i want to test your mic. i always say film at 11. i grew up watching buffalo news and everything burns there and the local news is always about the fire temperature is engrained in my head that is my test. i love stories about burning stuff because they lead local news. people are intrigued. why is that thing burning? it is my house burning. in buffalo, burning, it is rome, they should rename it rome. speaking of emmys, i want to throw this out, shameless promotion for me. shark tank just got nominated again an hour ago.

we never win. >> greg: it is a badge of dishonor to be nominated because i have never been nominated until this show and "the five." we don't get nominated because we're fox, they can't nominate us. that day is over. what is your story? >> kevin: my story is about burning, i liked it, i thought it was good. >> greg: it had to be a specific story. our producers didn't fill you in. >> kevin: i am going with my story. >> greg: i think you are an arsonist. >> public service announcement for the ladies of gotham, the greatest mayor in the history of new york city, said no one ever, on the prowl looking for his own big bird. yeah, for any lucky lady out there, maybe feeling down on her

luck, looking for a night filled with unforgettable shame and regret, well, bill de blasio is asking for you to swipe right on his dating app. bill de blasio is on the prowl looking for you, lucky lady. >> greg: they are not getting divorced either. they are going to live together and have an open relationship. >> kat: that will go well. >> greg: it can't get worse. you are living with him and now add another person. kyiv that is new york, they should tax him. >> kat: japanese steak house in pace, florida, people got something extra in their sauce. this is methamphetamine. going back to my defamation, investigators tested and found methamphetamine residue on soy

sauce packets and the soy sauce bot bottles, which is sad. who brought coke to the west wing and who brought methamphetamine to pace, florida? >> greg: what is name of the steak house >> kat: nyko japanese steak house. >> kevin: i'm going there. >> kat: who narced? >> greg: do you own restaurants? >> kevin: yeah. >> greg: like duh. kitchens are arrived with drugs, they have to stay up at night and clean -- >> kevin: not anything i invest in, that never happens. >> greg: i don't have evidence of that anyway. kat cammack. >> kat: a kat got her head

caught in the wall. why was the fire department necessary for that? >> kevin: i told you, burning. >> kat: whoever made the hole in the wall can also just make it bigger, why involve the fire department? >> greg: do you think the fire department has a lot of time on their hands? you are an expert on arson. they come out for everything, i think they are required. there is phone call, they got to go, right? they show up no matter what. >> kat: if i'm feeling lonely? >> kayleigh: i thought that story was kevin's story. the burnt cat? >> kevin: does that cat look like it has been hosed down and electrocuted.

mysteries. >> greg: move on, disgusting. up next, can chipotle make guac without workers on the block?

♪ >> a story in five words ♪ [cheers and applause]. >> greg: a story in five words.

invasion of the guac bots. kevin, chipotle is testing a robot called the auto cotto that did cut out core and peele avocados faster than a human can. is this the future of food? you own many restaurants. this would help reduce theft because the avenue 0 cad 0 cutter wouldn't be there to steal things. >> kayleigh: it all started with the zoom ba now it's avocados, are manning os next. these robots are going to replace a lot of jobs and i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. the problem is i've been looking at this these are really expensive. you can hire a lot of people for what it costs. they say it makes it much, much faster but the chef in me says how does it taste? i'm very worried about the flavor profile of that crushed up avocado. and until i taste it. >> i can't endorse it. >> greg: that's an interesting thing because i believe that

things taste better, lee, when there is human suffering involved. so if a machine is crushing the avocado, the avocado won't taste as good as if somebody's working it themselves for almost no money. i want peasants crushing my avocado so when i eat it it tastes delicious. does that make me wrong? >> lee: a little bit. listen, i don't think that these workers want to have to be on the avocado crushing duty. i can't be the most glorious part of this job. you know, all of us, we have these stories of, you know, how we started and some of our original, maybe we had some retail experience. if i had this as an experience, my daughters are 16, if they had a job like this, i think they would be fine with not having to do this part of it. as far as the tasting, you're absolutely right that's the most important point, i defer to

kevin, the expert on this topic. >> kevin: chef wonderful. >> lee: listen, i think chipotle has a good thing going for them and maybe it ends up resulting in employees being more happy they don't have to deal with it >> kat: you've never worked in a restaurant, right? sometimes you want to be away. i used to like to do dishes sometimes because the manager guy who just got out of prison liked to flirt with me even though i was 16. he couldn't do that when i was doing dishes. >> greg: was this at boston market >> kat: no this was another job i had in high school. >> greg: i have a theory and you might ignore it >> kat: fair. >> greg: how did guacamole become a thing? because it was one thing that could transition from a condiment to its own self. mayonnaise can't do that. why is guac so special >> kat: mayonnaise is in everything. i don't know. i guess i forgot to research the history of guacamole. i hate when i do that.

>> greg: all right. enough of your crap. oh, i worked at boston market, i'm different >> kat: besmirch boston market. >> greg: it's not really a market. that's the inning this. i go in there it's not boston market. >> what happened to boston market >> kat: i quit and the whole company. >> i remember that going to zero. they this good turkey and mashed potatoes that's the only thing i remember. >> no robots to save it. >> greg: they needed it. last word to you, a robot to take over all of our competitive work. >> kayleigh: yes, ai except you're irreplaceable so ai will not be able to replace you greg gutfeld. no, never. >> greg: she's right you know. >> kayleigh: all i will say is this is food snobbery elitism, boston market, chipotle, taco bell we get our beef squeezed out of a tube and have cheese shreds we don't have avocados at taco bell so i don't have anything to say about it.

>> greg: i think we all agree if you eat there or anywhere, you get diarrhea. >> kayleigh: fact check true. >> greg: that's the higher ground getting hey, i just got a text from my sister. you remember rick, her neighbor? sure, he's the 76-year-old guy who still runs marathons, right? sadly, not anymore. wow. so sudden. um, we're not about to have the "we need life insurance" conversation again, are we? no, we're having the "we're getting coverage

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>> greg: we're out of time. thank you kayleigh mcenany, lee zeldin. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. >> robert f. kennedy jr. is bashing joe biden. >> i was removed with 900,000 followers, i'm still being censured. the fbi is involved in that censorship. >> we have the rest of his scathing message coming up. >> todd: carley, if you have questions about artificial