hannity.com set your dvr so you never miss an episode of hannity. let not your heart be troubled gutfeld standing by to put a smile on your face and take you to bed. good night. [applause] 's >> we are still feeling the profound loss of the pandemic 100 people dead. >> it was over 100 mr. president. [applause] >> happy tuesday everybody.

keep it going. don't stop. that's enough. so the last time i looked america was supposed to be a meritocracy ever since the pilgrims landed wherever we knew there would be no welcome wagon you had to work to eat and it wasn't like you could go running to hr if you weren't happy and had complaints of for that reason it was generally the best person who got the job. most of the time. [laughter] of course there were injustices but we have always been a nation of achievers. look at me. where else can a guy go from a humble chippendale's dancer to the king of late night. [applause] stop it! stop it! stop with the spontaneous applause. on sale today wherever priceless works of art are sold you can probably go to amazon

meritocracy is now mediocrity and i'm not just saying that because jesse waters has an apm show. --an apm show. today wherever democrats have power the box you check trumps the work you have done.let's check with national defense like they promote generals like their casting a commercial after hideous afghanistan poet would be bad to suggest that secretary hansen had to be fire. to be racist although they dude could lose a war to menudo and keep adding to his pension for the top general and national security advisor should have been fired and they are as white as elizabeth warren. [laughter] jake sullivan looks like an albino making a snow angel. [laughter] and millie looks like a mayonnaise sandwich. but the white house has been relentless in signaling its obedience to diversity with

millie soon to retire to the chairman of the joint chiefs biden is pushing general charles brown junior. this is someone who prioritizes the gei initiatives and once said flat out, i hire for diversity. in this anti-meritocracy is all over take the texas border, millions of illegals already have a texas is so desperate they are installing blowup of pontoons in an attempt to harden their defenses for the nation that defeated hitler and invented the nuclear bond is defending itself with balloons. which will only work until someone brings a safety pen. dhs secretary alejandra in charge of our border security had this to say. we didn't forget the clip he had nothing significant to say he never does. [applause] >>. [laughter] but he only talks if it's to lie about his own

personnel using whips to hurt illegals but was this the best we could do? we produce 2000 tons of nuclear waste every year from the sewers attached to the bathrooms. of the view. i know it's disgusting. the white house main criteria for handling it was someone who checked a box that you knew existed. sam rented a non-binary baldy was named assistant secretary of spent fuel disposition handling the nations nuclear waste disposal but after looking at him to only part of that title that fits his secretary. [laughter] although i would not trust him to get his boss coffee he would only steal the mug. he has been arrested for stealing luggage from airports a couple of times. who did that background check? this guy? [laughter] the former mayor of south bend indiana is that estate?

indiana population 103,000. he is gay so why not make them secretary of transportation when our supply chain began to stack up like the line at the pharmacy after pride month what? i ended up having to treat my monk epoque's with green tea and wet newspapers. ? monk hdoes anyone think rache levine the trans head of health and human services is a good choice who said kids going to the wrong puberty should receive hormone injections? that sounds like child abuse to me but kudos for repairing the right lipstick with a 5 pm

shadow.the scrap is leaking the local level new hampshire state rep stacy longtin was a looker. trans activists now despite a criminal past she was endorsed by beto or roque yet she or it got busted for child porn you could read up on it but you will wish you hadn't. and then there is this soon the president is doing everything he can he is doing everything he can we will do everything that we can i don't have a policy update on that what i know to tell you now where doing everything that we can possibly we will do everything that we can i don't have anything to preview for you. i keep waiting for her to say press one for more options but she seems articulate compared to this crackpot. >> what you want to now?

>> i wish it was that funny about this combination of xanax and a banana peel can end up running the place. now we will see the left will turn the story around saying whites are worried about losing out on jobs. i don't want to be in government. i barely want to work i just don't want to die but i don't want to die because the person they choose is so awful. you want the guy operating on your kid to be excellent or diverse? it's only question that matters great maybe the next diversity should be the pilot flying air force one. i wonder how that will go over. literally. >> welcome. tonight's guest, when it comes to play-by-play she always slays. you may recognize him from the cover of lonely bachelor magazine comedian joe devito.

he has filled my shoes on redeye with summit so tom i have noticed you check off no boxes at all. you are as bland as i don't know. you're getting no jobs. >> maybe i would be a domestic extremist in this administration. you have to have a couple of them. this guy, the head of diversity said that diversity is, he purposefully likes diversity and he went on to say, it's because you get different perspectives, >> which is kind of true. >> yeah. isn't it a little racist? >> that's true.

>> it's false. >> in a company you could excuse that but in the military, isn't that the one place you don't want differing perspectives? it's like dropping give me 20 unless you have a different perspective on exercise. what is your way? >> they do have a different perspective on exercise. the physical fitness standards have gone away >> because of hormone treatments.they are getting hormone treatments and they are giving you negative effects. you no longer have to meet the standards break >> you can take nine months training and everyone is so fat they had to lower the standard so people are obese they have a different viewpoint, tom. but you don't know that because you are a fat phobic. >> i only read this one story greg. >> i ask you to read the stories i ask you. charlie, you come from the

world of sports. i am an excellent athlete i turned down many offers to play professional football, baseball and i chose a career in tv because i want to serve our country great do you think this kind of diversity would ever go well in sports? should we apply to the nba perhaps? >> i don't know it would go so well. employing short people. >> how dare you. >> i don't think it would go over so well there are certain conditions you must meet to play in professional sports leagues and if they want to keep winning they will keep them going the same wand unlike our military like a brad broadway cast and i wish china and russia and iran did the same thing otherwise the social experiment i would be in for. qualifications don't matter. >> are military commercials look like an ad for rent. swim with the off broadway ra

--rent. >> you don't to kemeny boxes except for sheridan, potential serial killer. underwear stealer. >> i settle that case with the laundromat years ago. despite the rampant short phobia from over here. i agree that ii think they should search for the most qualified people with diversity as a factor in the people that they select they need to keep searching because this general brown saying diversity is the first thing he looks for. you want competence. these are people flying around planes and shooting missiles. look at the chinese army. it's not particularly diverse. a lot of asian guys. it's absurd to say that and i don't like it because you look at someone like jean-pierre and

she is just not good at her job but you can't criticize her because she stacked that. she's a woman, she is gay, she's black. the more things they stack up i keep waiting for her to come in with an eye patch and a crutch. she is a disabled pirate. and the same thing with greta, how dare you criticize her? she is a child. why are we taking climate advice from her? >> she has a disorder. the jealous spectrum. so this fellow over here with the beard, the creepy dude, don't make eye contact. the search is naturally going to be shallow because there aren't going to be a lot of people in that area so if they are going to take the first or second person because there might only be 2. >> i disagree. there's a lot of gay men out there who are very organized to would do a lot better than pete buttigieg. >> that's true. >> they run things and i feel bad because you are so busy and you should not have spent all

that time doing that monologue because i feel like it's clear you have a different view on diversity based on the panel you have assembled to discuss it. you could have. >> i can guess that joke. >> maybe you should have made it. you could have just said here is the story and with me to discuss 4 other white people. i think that diversity provide , it's important to have different perspectives there some perspectives a woman would have because she is a woman but the fact that it ends there you don't need to look at anything else. it's kind of scary because of a lot of the things you mentioned about because you have to have different ideas like i am a woman and charlie is a woman but she knows more about football than the fact that touchdowns are good and the quarterback is the one who throws it.

>> there you go. >> you are onto something. >> alrighty. up next how much did they pay for art from the coked up monet? >>

>> thank you. he is the van gogh of hookers and blow. the sun with no restraint trades favors for splash and paint. hunter biden's art sales have

rotted $1.3 million according to internal gallery documents obtained by business insiders and no, hunter it's business insider not business inside her. that was pretty good. you didn't know whether or not to laugh or be disgusted. that is what i am aiming for. one mystery buyer show that 175,000 for a set of 11 paintings if my math is correct, that is way too much. and is a shame because if you buy 12 you would have gotten a free case of genital warts. and another buyer is a democratic donor friend who the big guy named to the commission for the preservation of america's heritage abroad back in july 2022. will slap my with a newspaper

and call me fido, ain't that a hell of a coincidence? did she buy influence or does she want to hang art in her house that appears to be made by a painting flinging epileptic monkees at sherman williams. they say she was referred none other than nancy pelosi. so i guess pelosi thinks we are as dumb as camelot. the white house has not seen this kind of laundering since the day after joe 815 prune danishes. that's cute. but maybe nancy has a good eye for art considering she looks like a late. picasso. [laughter] you know what kills me, this is such a fun story. there is all this stuff. you have sex, art, drugs and we are the only network that seems interested. >> it's the best reality show i have ever seen but you have to

hand it to hunter biden. he is a lucrative business man think about all he has accomplished. he is an oil executive in ukraine. he's a financier in china.he is a world-class painter. he does it all on drugs which is incredible. i wish i could be so accomplished grade >> one day. myth may be. tried meth. and he did some math and he did some crack grade if you combine them one day you will be a success. >> you can stay up longer. >> you can take apart your toaster.are you surprised by nancy pelosi connection? >> no. you make a lot of contacts when you have been in congress for hundred 50 years. i agree with you. we thought that the clintons were hillbillies. it's unbelievable. it's a great scam the money laundering through art. what are these people writing in their mama on the check, don't spend a lon crack grade

where they display this art? in a birdcage? >> it does seem like something you would see in a giant skyscraper when they buy stuff that's really bad and they put it in a hallway and they have someone that buys that stuff. that is where this is going. >> they do that to keep you moving.you have to go to another location. >> it's interesting. we know that he has made money. why doesn't he give this money to his baby daughter that he refuses to acknowledge? why hasn't that question been raised? >> i think he will have to give some of it to her and we feel like we knew this the entire time i can't believe they tried to tell us there would be no way he would ever find out who was buying these paintings because a lot of experts pointed out expensive art can be a money laundering operation but even if it is not the most charitable reason, there's a

lot of reasons to buy art. people like art. one of those reasons is to not ever buy it and hide it and not let anyone see that you bought it. how would that work? he is going to find out and let us people buy it and say they have to put under their bed. >> tom, it just occurred to me. you are a painter. you are a pretty good painter. >> i like to paint but i could not i would not feel right about selling one of my paintings for hundred thousand dollars. mine are pretty good. the level of no shame. you almost admired him and i didn't really understand the joke until now.the level of shamelessness of hunter is so high he should be so embarrassed i am starting to feel sorry for him and us because usually when you have presidential administration. we had billy carter and roger clinton and they would glom off

of the president. this is the opposite. we are looking at hunter as if he is taking advantage of his father but in reality the father has taken advantage of him. he is a pathetic drug addict and joe biden is a real sicko. he sends him overseas to make money for him. he is using his son to make cash. >> you are right and i do think that hunter has a weird superpower. it's like he doesn't have shame.imagine, tom. i think, [laughter] imagine if everybody here knew what you look like naked. that's what hunter has to deal with. all right. we have to do this again? here we go.i have a picture of you shirtless. in my book that we will be talking about later.

thus the reason to buy that book because there is a great picture of tom shirtless. >> you just sold out. >> up next we are making jokes . >>

>> time for mock it and move on. these stories were interesting but we didn't have time to write about them. story number one this is interesting. i will go to joe because you seem lonely alabama nursing student carly russell went missing for two days after making a 911 call about a toddler wandering on a highway admit she was not kidnapped at all. why do you think she did this? >> she is no jesse did the toddler say this is magna

country? you have to respect her intelligence a little bit more i don't know why she did this but she says she saw a toddler and she said an older man with orange or red hair.i was supposed to believe now donald trump is harassing people one on one? the part that stood out to me, they could tell this didn't happen because there are cameras that do not see a toddler so we have cameras on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere in alabama but in the white house we don't have a camera. >>. [applause] >> that was a great insertion. i had no idea how you did that. >> you think about it. do you have red hair? >> some say i do.i don't consider myself a real ginger. >> maybe it could have been carrot top. >> a nude photo.

>> that's true. >> how did the baby, by the side of the road, helped get into the story.it was a bizarre element. >> the guy helped her climb a fence and tied her up. soon it to be honest i am glad she has come clean but she should have said no matter what happens i still saw that baby. she said should have stuck with it because sometimes i think i see a baby.was that a baby? it was a possum. >> a hairy baby with a tail. >> how often does this happen to you? >>. [laughter] >> you don't see babies all the time? >> i see babies when there are babies. >> sometimes i think i see a baby and there is no baby. >> you don't want to get it wrong.

>> drive around it. these cars won't care if there is a baby. that's my theory. can you imagine a cop interviewing her? at some point you have to say this is nuts but you can't say anything about it. >> what i can't grasp is that she has a boyfriend who is defending her after the fact. everybody needs to get off of her back. you are in for a life of complete misery if she makes up stories about this what is she going to make up when you are concerned? what about stopping for snacks at target. >> the boyfriend is terrified of her. soon she has probably beaten that man down emotionally. >> i think he broke up with her. did you see her parents? the mother is very upset and the father is like what are we doing here? he knows this was made up.

this one was made for you the irs will end unannounced visits to most people and businesses citing safety concerns for its officers. that means it is our fault. it is our fault the irs will not be coming to our house unannounced >> how kind of them to be like we know how stressful a home invasion is for not only the homeowner but the burglar as well so what we are going to do instead is send you a note by mail so you can make an appointment to be robbed. >> i did not even know that they make unannounced visits. are you allowed to do that? >> apparently. i was not aware but i recall i had an anecdote back in the day someone very close to me was one of myparents , so there i just named him.

he said being visited by the irs's light being visited by the devil so i am happy for taxpayers who don't have to come face to face with the devil anymore. >> you would look forward to this because you don't get any visitors. you are alone. he would invite the guy in a sit down and make him some tea out of some kind of fluid that you kept in the fridge. >> ever since the jehovah's witnesses started going past my door. where were they doing before? coming down the chimney like santa but they were taking things? when i was young the irs did pay a visit to my parents because they had a bad accountant and the highlight was at one point the agent said to my mother, can you please put your catch in the other room because the cat was kicking the hell out of the briefcase we had a libertarian cat named patches. i was very proud of him. >> what are your thoughts on the irs?

>> two cats kick briefcases? >> yes he did. he did that thing where they grab on and do the bunny kick. and that is theft. i want some friskies. >> i don't like anyone visiting. i don't want to answer the door. >> do you often come out of the door with an open robe and a gun. >> i make it as quick as possible. i said i don't want to hear your story.i don't want to go through this on the porch and remember those people were going around? the police. the covid police. >> i would not answer the door. i saw them come they had the chart and i said don't anybody answer the door i am not talking to the covid people. >> i filled up a freezer full of them.

>> the biden administration unveiled a proposal for higher efficiency standards for water heaters arguing they will save americans billions and reduce carbon emissions this is another home appliance they're going to destroy. >> there are so many reasons why i don't like renting any work but for this reason i am fully on board with being a renter for the rest of my life because of this rate they will overturn every single appliance that we have them because i don't own it i don't have to pay for new appliances. >> that is terrible. >> because i rents, i don't know what a water heater is. that's not going to stop me from being mad about this. because the one time i am happy and warm when i am in the bathtub every night eating popsicles or that's normal. and if the government takes us away from me i will really lose it. >> it is funny because they have increased our heating cost and this is their solution for

decreasing it. we will raise the prices but we have a solution, we are taking it away. >> what are they going to do with all of the old appliances? >> throw them into the ocean. >> nothing saves you money like having to buy a new hot water heater. >> that is what they're going to try to do. there's going to be away you can't buy these things. >> i like some of these new electric things they have electric tools i saw an electric chainsaw. an electric lawnmower but i will don't want to buy any of them. i want to go total gas powered things.i want to burn coal. just to spite these people.i want to start shoveling coal into my fireplace. >> that's funny the first thing you think about an electric thing is a chainsaw and you don't move around trees. what is with you? >> i would love to use a chainsaw. i want to cut some wood.

>> yeah wood. too bad our camera didn't get that. i don't do this very often so you'd better get it this time. coming up. a first look at the world's most importantcl book. g >>

welcome back. greg is dead. tired of being so successful which makes it surprising that he wrote another book. the king of late night.it is out right now. tom. you are supposed to say greg is dead. tired of being so successful. >> they laughed. i wanted to milk the laugh. >> see he is editing my interview. it would be weird for him to interview himself so we will

talk about the book king of late night.greg tell me. how did you become king of late night with probably i am guessing 1/10 of the budget of other late-night shows. >> it tells the bosses they don't need that money which is probably a terrible message. it should be we need that money. there's a giant hole and you know how i love filling those. i am out there every morning on the road filling potholes. >> i see some family pictures. where did you get your sense of humor? >> my dad had a stupidest sense of humor but my mom was sick. she was brutal if you turn to page. this is great for tv by the way. there's a lot of nudity in here but there's a great picture. i don't live. >> that is me. >> there you are shirtless.

>> there is a lot of shirtless men in this book. i don't look that bad of that slavery there is larry gatlin. >> the original title for the book.what was it? >> of the flip. we were seeing this thing happen republicans were starting to sound like democrats. republicans were becoming antiwar and democrats becoming anti-speech. they led the free speech movement in the 70s. i just saw another flip the other day. comedy. the right is where people weren't funny and the left, people were hit. and my goal was to flip it so we own the comedy and they were always the people that were unhappy.

>> this is your 10th book. as each book make more money than the last one? >> not even close. is the law of diminishing returns. people get sick of you. >> the inside of this book. did you decide to write a new book? >> i had all of these chapters. foreign policy, drugs. and i realize the comedy one mattered the most and the show was taking off so i was writing this there's a big story and i never called myself the king of late night, someone else did that was driving people crazy you see every person that we beat. and it was such a great idea and also i took a page out of jesse waters book. je can save the world than i can do this. >> now do you want to talk

about the fact that you were ambivalent or unsure about going nightly? >> yes. i didn't want to do it because i have a target on my back and i hate that and i will be on the five. why do i need more of that stress so i talked to this guy who was a talkshow host his main and he said you shouldn't do it. you have a great gig. relax. you don't need to work too hard. you should be working less. so i told the boss that i wasn't interested in doing a late-night show and i decided to call tucker and tucker was like are you crazy? of course you have to do the show. that's exactly why wouldn't you do it? >> that's why you are here.

>> who is the real greg gutfeld? >> some guy i killed and 73 and took his identity. way that supposed to be a joke. it's a terrible question. soon mike it's a weird awkward 60 minutes question. >> this is me on my 40th birthday high on ecstasy among other things. >> could you say something nice about your fellow late-night host now that you are the king? >> we have the best people on the show. i would say that. >> your competitor should keep crushing and these people at your feet. >> sometimes they make me laugh but not always. >> as you enter the pantheon of great american authors. do you have any other books you would recommend? if you go to the bookstore and you pick up your book do you

have another look he would pick up? >> i have a lot of great questions that you provided me with. >> look at my back catalog the joy of hate chronicled counsel culture before they had a name for it. >> before we go a quick reminder you can get tickets for greg's book tour we are doing a virtual event this thursday in providence rhode island on the ninth and up next a felonious southern belle whose photographs look well. >>

>> a story in five words. five words. coed has over 10 blog shots and look at them. charlie, she is 23 years old in kentucky. she has gotten very popular for sharing her mugshots on instagram. she calls herself the queen of chaos. do you feel like you have done nothing in life?

you don't even have one. >> should i go commit a crime? >> you know what this reminds me of? years ago there was a guy named jeremy makes.he got a modeling contract because his police station put his photo on facebook and people were enamored with his appearance. suddenly he is walking a new york fashion week. he is all over the place. this girl looks beautiful. she says she is high and that's why she was smiling. she might have a future in modeling. >> do you think she's a real criminal or do you think she is being unfairly targeted for being adorable? >> she was arrested a few hours apart because the first time she stole a cops taser and hat and they found it at her house so i'm going to go with real criminal but >> charged with terroristic threats i believe.

>> look how happy she is and i think that could be an inspiration for all of us. >> that is true as a lonely man you seem like the type of man she could take advantage of by sending her money starting out a go fund me page. >> that won't work she is sober now. >> she is sober and she found god two things that would decrease my interest in her. [laughter] >> you don't want a bad girl who has gone good you want a good girl who is gone bad is the same advice i give for dating a bipolar woman. that's when there is fun to be had but i think we need to get a kentucky woman and pair her out with a florida man they will come out with a baby who has a ankle monitor already. >> i reached out to get her on the show. any words of advice he would have for her when she comes on?

>> we are ignoring the most interesting argument. as she looked better as a brunette or a blonde? the dark hair looks better. i love blondes but i think in her case the dark hair looks better. >> is interesting. her name is queen of chaos 23. that means there are 22 other queens of chaos. >> can you get all of them on the show? that would be the best idea. >> she is trying to reform herself. you know what she was addicted to? xanax. i didn't know that was possible. >> i thought she was addicted to having a good time. >> we have to move on. don't go away. we will be right back.

>> we are out of time. i love you america. >>. [applause] >> good evening everyone. i am jonathan hunt. it's 11 pm on the east coast and this is america's late news, fox news at night. breaking tonight a potential blockbuster hearing on capitol hill tomorrow is a former us intelligence officer who testified about his claims that the pentagon has pieces of an alien craft a senior congressional correspondent has a preview and illinois