tv Gutfeld FOX News August 5, 2023 12:00am-1:00am PDT
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next week' mark s. nnity hannity will have live audience shows on wednesday and thursday. ticketwis are free. ence on it's a lot of fun.thur just go to hannity .cosdmayt a. to register. that's all the time we have left for tonight. thank you for as always, for tuning in, sean. he'll be back monday. gutfeld is next. have a great weekend hannity weekend. so. nee >> oh, hey, i needd a cigarette . >> it's friday and you know what that means. yesterday, thursday. >> so let's welcome tonight's guestscome ton this southern bes
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enemies in deep fried. co-host of the bottom line on fox. i got a gobble the army corps of engineers helped design his mullet. co-host of fox and friends, we got hurt. i was up friday a lot. pete. wow. is hard not to brag, but she led also has multiple indictments. but you contribute her car. to it. n his biceps have biceps. my massive shock. i got it. >> at it. all right. before we get to b some neefores do this. >> greg'ths leftovers. >> mm. you love. it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this week. and as always, it's my first
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time reading these. so if they , i'll be joe mackey . a pillowcase full of oranges until the space so i be drewis unrecognizable. >> and they'll need dental records to identify his body. here we go. just trudeau and his wife are separating after eight years. it just goes to show inter the challenges of an interracial marriagera. rriage. >> hold on a second. we have focused his face and not the thing to our left. >> do you see what you see? see what i've been looking at, tyrus, correct me. >> that's a man sticking tongue out. >> yes, right. i like this is now a we've beenn making fun of this m black photo for years and just occurred to me there'four s something ele going on here that we've totally, totally ignored. >> i never ignore. i always pay attention to the background because that'she bac
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usually where the killer is. yeah. so in this caskg ly wheree was with the creepiness was about to begin. >> you know what that explains the divorce. >> yeah. lel right t, let's move on, shal we? hm? detroit policet'move on. found over a 100 cats at the home of an elderlyl man after they received complaints of a pervasive smell. >> turns out it was the catsas e who called the cop cs. not our fault. squad member ilhan omar appeared at an event tuesday night to, celebrate her state'sn legalization of recreational ce, and shared the storyand shar of the time she got so high shem married her brothee r jessica ak joke, although she never corrected that. >> this week, a truck spills covered in arkansas highway in nachohigh cheese. too bad this didn't happenfornia in california. >> they could have called chip s
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. all right. yeah. yeah. all right. oh shout out to eric estradajo and john wilcox. >> o h pot. i know that singer lizzosow is is being sued for harassing her plus size backup dancers eao allege she pressured into eating bananas protruding from stripper protruds. >> yeah, it's a shocking allegationit that any of them were eating fruit. yeah. >> the complaint also says was o was reinforcing the worst stereotypes about the plus size dancers when she should have st the stage. ng the chairwoman of the somali athletics federation is under fire after . her unqualified niece lost a 100 meter dash by,
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10 seconds. she's also under because it's somalia. that's how you tell a joke during an episode of the view. >> if you goldberg detailed the challenges of having in a pool. meanwhile, her ex, ted danson, g said the relationship was a challenge trying to avoid pool. >> still, she says she prefersox pools over in the ocean becaus ae doesn't need to worry about anybody throwing harpoons . oh, you know, that's too far. >> yeah, that's true. i disown that. but keep tha joke in because it's good. dw dwarves in the film industry are complaining about hugh grant being cast as an uncle loompa in the upcomingarmus we y wonka specifically that cgi has been used to enlarge grant'sin head. in fairness, he's more famous for getting a little head. i'll never forgetversar
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the anniversary's coming up. never forgety up.. >> after spending more than 14 grand for a custom made colby costume, a man in japan transformed himself into a dog to celebrate his achievement, he drank some champagne out ofce a toilet. and he says the best part g is that nowcks hi no one cares what he licks his ows n. a 33 year old woman broke the guinness world record for the world's largesr tht mouth,hc which prompted a special phone call from bill clintonal. >> the benefits of a mature audience. finally, a recently conducted survey hady re asked people what makes the perfect sandwich? and the only correct answer
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is a woman who it's a compliment all right to the news trumps support enlargesarge after more bogus charges and the support trump is has obama sweating yet? >> after another round of indictments for everything from obstructing proceedings to removing the tags from mattressesctor. se trump's numbers just continue to rise. the more indictments and witcht hunts, the greater his chances of winning the republican nomination for chance presiden. a grammy, an oscar and an emmy and ultimately the white houseis in 2024. i've done the math. if he gets invited 2024., indica one more time, he'll be more popular than barbir e. and it's not just me saying. te although that would be enough reason to believe it. even barack obamli a is scared that donald trump could win another term. and usually the only thatng tha scares barack is michellt e.
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in late june, obama reportedly had a private luncma reporh wit which is rare. joe usually only eats lunch with a nursee usuall or people who wantib to bribe him. apparently, obama was pretty shaken up, telling old joe he pos concerned trump's political strengths, his loyal following and a trump friendlyl media ecosystem. joe was so alarmed there werefeo few moments where he actuallynt seemed to recognize obamseema, and obama said trump could be a more formidable candidate thanl many democrats realize. he then said he had to get home before michell many de notices he's gon e. ot the then you got the polls showing no sign of pig the trump support waning. even mayor pete can't slow down this train. the latest "new york times"st siena college poll shows trump widening lead over ron desantis. ron is so distraught he's thinking of settingntis to martha's vineyard. >> 54 to 70% among likely republican primary voters.
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no one else even comes close. >> but that's only because ecause. uly hasn't announced too o, no, no. too many skeletons in this closet. closet.s. ry on skeleton >> and the cherry on top of's trump's best week. that divine archer hearing detailing the biden family corruption. remember that old thing? it happened five days ago. but time flies when the democrats are indicting oveir only challenger over speech. yeah, talk about timing. it's about as coincidental as ea dog sniffing hunter's luggage and as joe points out, trump's first impeachment should be vacatediffing h because the s violated the rules by not allowing republicans to call their witnesses, which may have included d-von archer not to mention the fact thatac trump was proven right on that perfect phone call. prov perfectso all this spells best week ever. the only thing that coulevd it
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better is a sale on self-tanner and anothetor two oranner three indictmentcos. >> pete, your mullet looks great. thank you. >>. re well tannedk you. you're. i love your boots and your little pocket square. >> everything about you is a critique. yes, they should vacate the first impeachment. >> i know they won't, but it seems like there is grounds forw it. it certainly does. you talked about the phone theyl call . >> the phone call was about. shouldn't you look into this biden guy? shbiden . >> these deals that they're doing over there. remember, trump wa pete yas talg about? >> remember when you started saying, where's hunter? yeah. i mean, that was early on. i >> i don't want to care. where's hunter? yeah. and no one knew who hunter was. yes. oh, who's. ? >> but he knew. i mean, inside it was an ope nshingt secret. inside washington, d.c.. this is a dirty double dealingol family. right? and they and they found they stumbled their way into
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them because obama choseir in south carolina and then he became their candidate. they did a bunch of deals when . they think he wouldn't be a candidate and now they're stuck with him. yeah, and when it comesen to trump, though, what was the investigation? it's all eyee would a s impeact indictment. wait until, they imprison them.c wait. if you think his poll numbers are high now, try that. that's wheretmto wait n him.is o on that? inevitably. yeah. so it is a it is a good for trump for all the wrong reasons. >> yeah, it's true. we could talk about thewe c greatest finale of any movie ever. dagooul n, the president getslected elected in jail and they, have to come in. they have to come in and unlock and they and he goes, i pardon myself. poppy goes, what do you think?yn he clearly, like the more his adversaries, his enemies, even his competitors go after him, the tougher and the stronger he's getting. it's like cosmicallycall
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they're pumping him full ofg hi peptides and human growth hormone and mountainfo . >> yeah. all at the same time. mm.thin >> and i just think about if this old adage you just wrote this book show don't tel l for this man to march again into a courthouse and hold his head, i high with fortitude and really rally not just the people who support him, but his family. >> yeah. and that's more than his republican competitors are alike in the face of w adversity. >> i will be really fiercee lik when i have to face our enemies that doesn't.hat saying that means nothing thing. it says at all. right. and again, at least one of the republican nominees has never stood up to hama nominees, yeah, you're talking about that because he's a vegetarian, of
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course. so he is, you know, cat saidlike once before and i like quoting myself. i know you do. ye mysels. >> this election is a between trump and biden. it's trump versus the entire political establishment, the machine that fixes everything from indictments to impeachments to elections. what saye politi you? i think you might the same poll that you cited with trump and desantis, to me, the thing that stood out the most that in a head to head between trump and desantis, trump got 2%, even quote among voters who believe he has committedhe i serious federal crime. >> yess serious . till b >> which is stiligl bigger than the 17% desantis gets overall. right. so they' overallld prefer a crie trump saying for months that desantis not going to happen. everyone keeps trying to make him happen. he's like je b to point out. mm-hmm. and that's exactly what's happening here. 0.people want him to be a thing
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he's not going to do. >> he's not. it, though, because he's a grea a thingt governor, and i tk he got too involved in the culture war stuff, man. yeah, i think people, you know, the economy's an issue, stuff like that. >> he got weirdly obsessed with the disney thing. stt. e public got on tha yeah, i. g ha ha ha. next up, trans attacks. no kidding. no, you're not. >> ha ha ha. h oh, tyrus. what make of this week? >> it's a it's a bittersweet week. i think. joe rogan, who's not. who would never be, i would saym frameded, as a trumper. yeah. talked about the. how shocked he is at what'stalkd going on and how it's making a people support trump that normally wouldn't. and that's the thing is the the mainstream media wants us to all think that these huge numbers are coming from his base, but it's not. it's coming from people who relate. mm-hmm. who see this who are tired of this. because whether you like him or
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not, he's changed things. he's. it's transparent now. now, whet he'sn we make jokesneo about you buy one of hunter's horrible paintings, and if you buy enough of them, eventually you or one of your kids who never amount to nothing will get a job, evenu the white house and ambassador or whatever. like, that's how it worked. and that wasalone of y thing microcosm. that's how all the things worked with china, ukraine, romania. it's same thing you buy.ke you give him a big salary, t he tells me who paidhat'd that g i will influence or give you jobs for you. that's that's how the whole teaid, andence and works. hole s trump didn't do that because he came out saying, i don't need your money. i remember wheys because n you tried't nee to give me money. you tried to give me money. you still owe me money. triey to . mon so and so he changed things. so we'rege seein thingg they'ree so hyped over him that are they're literally journalistset on the street corners, liken ge waiting for a trump card to go by. yeah, they can get a look at it. a looki mean, it's literally l what it's come down to in all that is all that is doinite g is galvanizing everyday people who normally don't care or like thisple who don is out. there was an opportunity in this for the president to be a presidenwas oppot if he was tl
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concerned about the american peoply out e and keepig democracy. you have the trial after the election. what's you ter the what's it going to make? yeah, and if it came out of joe biden's mouth. but the problem is it's not about getting him convict because they're going to get one. that's why there's so many. the one the two i'm concerned with is the one in georgia and the one in new york, theyse e they're they're not nof federal. yeah. so you can't pardon those ones. sothost they couldederal. be pardoned. but there was an opportunity for him to say let the people decide. bu othet he if we're not talkingknw about this all his laundryt taln with hunter is all out in thery street and we all see it now. >> and all wllowed ie confirmed. it's like devon archer testimony indictment. ey are n yeah, a plea deal falls apart indictment. i mean nobody will shy they're nohidingt even hiding ie all right, we've got to move on. it's like spray on. oh. r-one oh, it was a two for one sale. all right. he. he's got his family. >> whereas orange is the sign.
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up next, why one liberal brain says he's earned our disdain. >> back in my day, we don't have of these types of fancy chicken, for sure. >> you have buffalo wings and fried chicken. well, we didn't have garlic farm or sweet bourbon barbecue and he had to uphill both ways. >> and it's not every time. yeah right where you're from. yeah right where you're from. >> my. an unthinkable took the lives of 6 million and thousands of jewish are still suffering in poverty today. god calls on people who believe in him to act on his word comfort you comfort my people these elderly are weak and they're sick. they're living on $2 a day, they're living on $2 a day, whic money to buyo food. >> it is a miserable situation
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and they have nowhere else to turn but to ask for help like this now is how god's children are living. take this time to send a survival food box, to these non. ide on >> the international fellowship >> the international fellowship of christians and e your gift of $25 now to help provide one survival food boxinn with all of the essentials d hands athey critically need r their diet for one month, let's say no vitamins and no protein. so my legs and hands are very weak. weak. >> ow, o >> oh, let's make sure that we >> oh, let's make sure that we bring them just a little bit of hope by bringing them f to become desper by reaching out to bless these precious people of. >> god, just $25. you can help supply will prthe essential foods they desperately need for one month. one month. >> your suppor
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with a box overflowing with nourishing food and the knowledge that faithful christians around the world an care about them. >> god tellsd us toau takst sum to feed the hungry. >> and i pray holocaust survivors will be given the basic needs that they so desperately pray for to survive . show her you remember the jewelry exchange. how stackable bands, 189 half carat anniversary bands, 399 one carat, 699 two carat, three stone rings, 1490 thousands of gifts guaranteed to appraise double the jewelry exchange direct. >> want to see gutfeld live in new york. >> come be a par?
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stay connected and help keep your brain younger. get hearing health check every year. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. all right. i slow down there.down slow down and anti trumper has d an epiphany and wonders couldme? the idiot be me. "new york times" op ed writer t imes david brooks shockwaves through the left wing establishment this week by asking simple question what if we're the bad guys her we are e? we being the elitist, trump hating liberal ruling class, including mediainclude who thumbed their nose at everyday americans. whoson theirt column, brooks concludes, the answer is yes, arguing that he and his fellowcb
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grew so detached from reality that the rise of trumpism was inevitable or luis . and you could hear the horrified shrimp forks and espresso cups dropping a mile away. >> but he details that progressive upper crust saw themselves as morally superior savioraw themss and that trump supporters were just drooling fools, writing, quote r ,the ideal that we're all in this together was replaced with the reality thats the educated class lives in aoru world up herp e and everybodywol else is forced into a world down thered . members of our class are always publicly speaking out for the marginalized but somehow we always end up building systems that serve ourselves. so that's thoseri same progressives drivenven eg, and hungry for power now dominate the media, politics and major corporations cluelessly lecturing while their cities burn, pushing the defunding of police and murdering america's most popular beer by hiring ofgibbering goofball. his skirt.
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yeah. >> brooks added, quote, like all elites, we use languageclud kids to recognize one another and exclude others using words likeot words li problematic cis, gende, latin acts and intersectional is a sure sign that you've gotgu cultural capital coming out of ears. meanwhile, members of the less educated classes have to walk on eggshells because something that was sample five years agotl now gets you fired. eggsn trump came along offering a voice to the voiceless, he became the threat . but now they're getting a taste of their own medicine. and shockinglyfering avoicelestg what he said, david brooks has yet to be snatched from the street, and stuffed into a windowless van or murdered by hillary. >> but, you know, the night is still young. david, why is he admitting this now? what's driving this realization is that by doing this, he just explained what tyra in the last
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block. i hate this article. i got because, number one, numb he is speaking to the super and they are hearing what he's preachinhearing g. >> let me explain myself by the very fact that i'm exploringm this. i am even pondering that we might be bad guys. that makes me and us, not just d good guys, but super great guys that i am having this moment of self-reflection, but this is not lasting because at the end of the day, they are all ponderous, condescending and they will always be that. all right. he dismisses at the end ofiece the piece, he dismisses the entire premise that trump needs to gdismisseo to ja
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and he asks the question, when will we ever stojail.p in ways t make trumpism inevitable? never. because in the article he goes into how, how, how few people 0.8 percent of collegee graduates graduate from the super elite 12 schools. >> do you know what two thirds of people in this country don't have collegeof degrees? he that's two thirds of the nation that you are utterly dismissing and a paltry little time that working americans have. they have two questions. you've have bens got enough iced you do fill up. that's all that america care. all right, tyrus. care to add anything? f and al i pride myself in always filling her up. what core blast.ng
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what?abou you know what i'm talking about. you want a half empty gumbo? >> you got to pour. yeah, you got to pour it in. you know, half empty cup with guests over. that's embarrassing. you in my household. >> h won't have it back. you have manner. you knowrted in., i. i can relate to what. the good man is trying to say he's. it's like having a narcissisticv mother. e >> you know? do i love too much? did i cry too hard? >> was my wanting you to havelok decorum and look good at school ? too much for you? so that's what this is? that's what the dagon saying't m is, like, there. and if it wasn't for me being so giving and justjust virtuous and perfect, the slimes never would it came in.ublime buould t i compete with the ugls and the evil because it is hard to be this way. and you can't.
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and i've done everythingve don i could foe r you.t. not my fault, but it's noty my fault. yeah, it's my fault for lovingt. you too much. >> even though you're a deplorable. ye you too s. kat, did you read the articled h and feel same way? >> well, okay, so i'm not a liberal. i'm also not a conservative. i do know how it feels. just wh have people just who are going to hate you no matter what you ando. n >> and at a certain point you're like, should i kill myself? like kill myse you don't want tt keep listening to them? >> and i think that a lot of these people, the way they see trump, is that if you voted forn trump, you're a bad person. it doesn't mean if you support everything he does or even't i will still get it from people because i work here. so i'm associating with people>s who voted for trump. so that makes me a bad person. and it's like you're normallm ay trump. >> it's like, dude, half of the country voted for guy, right? soa ow can you say you're
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worthless, irredeemable human being for seeing half count the country is also being human, and that makes isman, andn. rso >> get over yourself. yeah, we're just being honest. like, how is it? drive drives me insane. and they see themselves as good people. it's like, no, you're not. you don't want to do the work for improving yourself, so you want to take what you already and try to spin that're and be all that makes me so much better than everyone else. yo better than anybody,er pete. >> you're better than everybody. everyone e but you not . i was driving. we were driving back frombeach a week at the at the beach where i was using my self-tannermyself. >> >> yeah, well, what are you wearing? it's called the sun. greg. check it out. >> and my wife is reading this article because i was driving. >> kids are yelling, and it's amazing. you readand it's amazi it. >> you go, oh, well,ay, da he's really. he's. he's getting it. oh, okayviooks. he's david brooks, the anti trump who used to be a conservative, by the way. waa >> it's written this column for years bashing trump. maybe this is a conversion anumersion . h
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>> and then the lastparagrap three paragraphs is you all are idiots. yeah, it is. it's easy to understand why people in the less educateasdope would cling to trump and love the last line, though, when weto when will we stop behaving in ways that make trumpism inevitablebehaving? they can't. their systems don't work. they fence themselves away from the criminality and lawlessness that they endorse. om >> and then they wonder whyth everyone else is off about it. yeah, so of courseat and then gg to keep creating trump. and i guess i think this is why to give a nod to my kids were yelling in the back. this is why trump isp creatiand >> this is why trump is the goat. no cap. you won't see many restingstingn and sports without drug testing . i'm brad becker and i'm chief political anchor for, fox news and i lead election night coverage. this would be my ninth election night behind the anchor desk i took over for brit hume, mentor and friend, and he told me three things. he said the, show is not
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about you. the show is not about you. an are important. i took away that integrity crict and being right matters. they're off from school but not really home images and videos social media fine tuned to alon them in and steal them away alone. you can't stop it together we will. we have a plan. join us. >> are you thinking about buying an annuity before you do get the known secrets to receiving guaranteed income and protecting hard earned money? don't buy an annuity until you understand the pros and cons of annuities. everything you need to know can be found in this free book. annuity do's and don'ts for
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ohl., we got our melons checked. she had a concussion hittingwin. was wrong. is worse than losing at pickleball. pickleball. saving don't mess with your melon. if you hit get it checked. >> we got a pie dish. islam we got to figure this out. >> this is crime scene kitchen . >> your challenge is to recreate the mystery dessert as best you can, using only the clues left behind. it has to be a pie. this is my kind of cake. we to make it messy? or did it just turn out that way? what is that so good? crime scene kitchen. mondays at nine on fox. >> are you tired of that old worn out bath or shower? now you can have a new one installed in just one day with a new limited time from jacuzzi bath remodel. we're waiving all installation costs with no interest and no payments for one year. jacuzzi has been making water feel great for over 65 years. and now you can get a gorgeous
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i feel great. and who doesn't want to feel great? you asked and we listened. this week only, we're extending our special travel offer right now. get $25 off and a free travel set. use discount code. >> fox news. a story in. five words us story in five words. >> sports for drug takingall ri athletes. >> all right, tyrus, an australian businessmanghiter. et >> probably the best people on earth. australianh. businessman. >> yes. why not? plants to start. g psp whhe better say yes. we walk in the street and blow . >> all right. an australian businessman plans to start a competition to compete with the olympics called the enhanced games to paris, where athletes are not drug tested. they're going to have track and field swimming, weightlifting and combat sports. are you is i'm and com excited juiced up athletes? >> they're all going to look like randi weingarteingartenn. yeah. yeah.
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that's men and women. men and womad both. yeah. this. this will be fun. byou know, i used to when i was playing, it was nothing more irritating thannothing hey a guy pop. especially the guy you played against. and he was. he was ban played and he was b g with you to find out that he was cheating and you couldn't. so if it's across the board, juice up and look weird. why not at this point? 's get why not? w because at least then it's a fair playing field. because all we're seeingwhy y nh is every in every sport, even bacling, a guy with one ball can still juice it all, you know? give it. hey,ll and, give the ladies a chance now. yeah, you know, the ladies juice up with some testosterone . forget having kids and long hair, but juice up. and you, baby, you can win t a trans woman in a swimwoman meet. so, yeah. why not let the gamein a swim ms? and then, of course, make sure whu have contingency plans for all the dead athletes you have when their hearts explode at 35. >> it is true, though. it is true, pete. it's like maybe lance armstrong was ahead of his time and yet h they made him take his ball and go home. s
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he just wanted to say ball and golf. he wanted to say that that was it. yeah. yeah. that the funny thing that washaa why wes this whole segment so it's not gonna break down as ash i said lance you see that twinkle when you see lance armstrong. ohis, i got to go. i'm next. i'm next. he's my body, my choice. >> right? this is really just the tour de france, the 90s in the in th olympics in the eighties. yes. is it the east germans? yeahe cs in th, east germans, the russians, whatever it was, they were in the sixties. e juic man alive. those were the they werein>> the enhanced games sex. ith ty no, i'm a tigress.ru i've watched this. what are the absolutthis pice lf human performance when totally juiced up? >> we don' t know we haven'teen seen it. >> let's watch it.it leou kno. cat, you don't. yeah, i mean to this. you don't watch sports. this would get you to watcw,h sports, right? >> it'd be like watching a monster movie. a thousand. watch sports. yeah. and i know people say this
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is messed up. it's like they're. they're not like, forcing you to do drugs. they're just saying you can if you want. like, i think it's more up that people, like, were forced to get vaccinated in order to keep their jobs because that wasn't really your choice. >> exactly. and thank you. and i just i love australia. yeah. so i neverdo drugs met a singlea australian in my life. >> and you know what? >>d i juste oru and irct something to behold. >> s o we do this in media. we do this in media and publishing tv. everybody's on caffeine up ag and adderall. you don't want to go up againsti somebody who like like in publishing when you it there are all these prescriptionescrip drugs they crave. >> you hate themtirugs. red bull and sudafed. yeah, sudafed. but when i saw the headlinethin on this, i thought it wasdi something different. i thought it would be likeit wog hits and keg stand. >> yeah, you could. >> and then you.ou --
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but it's a competitionba and you can't, like, let people loose in a grocery store in a foreign country like australia. and you have to find certain things high drunk.restin how'd you get. that's such an interesting thing. well, i had an idea for a show p like that where people argue a political thing, a topic from left and right, and thenybody you take a break for 3 hours while everybody does drugs and they comd they ce back and n you'll have a murder. yeah. yeah, it would change. >> do you call them deplorable? pi? able c yes.lo all right clap for murder. . clap for a murder. that's a friday audience for mur clapping for a homicide. t, com all right. coming up, we answer your questions with wise life lessoninanswer ion criminals.
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you're being watched. it's the show that has americans on the edge of their seat. one of the craziest things ever seen on camera and has criminals thinking twice. americans are fighting back and standing up to protect their rights. cry cam 24/7 with john sticks larkin, your new true crime obsession with wild chases got a gun pointed out of the victim here. you have to get him stop jaw dropping moments. these videos are anything you've ever seen. and the craziest footage captured from angle. oh. oh, i'm not sick. i got it posted by the man who can break it down like no one else. this angle all but proves this criminal won't be seeing daylight anytime soon. binge the must-see series now watch a new episode dropping tonight on the only place to catch crime cam 24/7 fox nation america is streaming. >> have you ever felt like pain
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you're watching it in and welcome to mailing it in you write i read and then we buyran, a cottage in the south of france where we live in happiness. for many berlin ha years until y i start poisoning your wine before dinner. until one day you never wake up. and by then i'm long gone anyway. alread.hem long going ay living, argentina under alias.go >> steve doocy here we miss mama panda asks what is something you would never do regardless of how much money was offered? at >> am i'm going to go with you, cat, because i don't know. i'm trying to think of something. yeah. oh, comee on on. like a like lie. you wouldn't lie like, pretend. >> say something. i don't really think that's a good one. good ly think. >> you. well done, jagan. >> what do you want? realistic. body
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i would never give somebody a pedicure with my mouth mouth. you see enough money, you know. oh, my god. i would do that for, like, $1,000. . thank you.th you i'm with you. all right. way into. . >> it's like somebody who's beautiful. but if it's like a homeless guy's toes. well, yeah, there's goy he'st the homeless guy coat pedicure to a homeless guy i told with my with my mout ow with h a half a million dollars. pronto. puerto joe. given the state of the homelessh personol, you're talking $25 million maximum. >> i'll do it for 250 grand. mil reallyliongrand.? ou >> you know. you know, you don't hide your or anything else you would do. >> i'd vote for a democrat. thersomethe. you wouldn't. you wouldn't vote for jr if
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he was. >> no, you would. he's going to. seems like a good guy. alternatives. better not not joe. yeah tyrus and don't say what be goldberg fine. sunny i yeah. >> yeah.l there'll be no view there'sbe n a monologue thato that would be something to not watch. >> see, like crying. crying what event would you like to have attended or been a part of? i'm going to go to you don't see january sixth. >> i was actually there, soe. yeah, i'm going to seey 7th. january 7th. also there . >> i would love to be there for the last supper. that would be a very interesting moment to be thered
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for me to be.ehav on good behavior, though. yeah. ior,h,how much do you tip? >> i'm not with betray your guy. yeah. yeah. what? what about you, tyrus? historical. >> you would like to have attended a historical event that i'd like, attend, in whichk all the historical events that i would have attended, they would have made me leave. oh, yeah. n of ind >> declaration of independence . how do you get in?e so it had to be something more recent. yerecents. the man on the moon. i'd like i'd to would likee to to venture to see that. that would have been nice, because then we'd know if it wave been >> thas real, but thee thing would happen. what is this big doing in the happen, ? people yeah. boy, we've really lost. down i >> really slow it down in our little module. holy cat, ground control.
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large men in the ship. yes. yeah. tell them we need something outside. and i oh, you tell him. you tell him, and then i'll'l close the door close t. there are laughing and murder>>a again. and racismnd. we've made it. >> this is a historic moment. that i'm here for. thiss, cat. >> i mean, like that whole big week that had.as >> yeah, it's a big week,>> you know? you guys know what i'm talking about with the easte you guys w yeah. because i'm not religious. and maybe if i saw it and it knew it was real, then i would be like, all of a sudden i'd be super christian, i'd be host and fox and friendaybe i uper rd be going to heaven. i have a whole life ahead offe d i'm not against it. i just hav e questions. >> yeah, i'm not sure. oh, i tell you what, i'd lovee k to. that's all you need, by the way. i would likeno he
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been at the at the theater when abe lincoln was shot so i could shout, abe, watc "h. now i got time for another. >> seems like no, but what? oh, take it then. wonder you're glaring at me. all right. taking. i got a feeling it's goinggoingo to be a beheading. >> the creation of our oh oh. because that would have been never happened. what if this is just a swirl? what do you call that? like a never ending loop. and there was never any. there was never any beginning or end, right? we just live our lives over and over again. except in my next life, i'll be texasexcept i. but. but i got to be great without but without the orange glow. >> you get to be m e with a haircut. all right. up next, conservatives are dismissed on a fake bestseller.
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they show. hi, i'm mike huckabee, former governor of arkansas. >> and i'm here today to tell you about a hidden crisis currently affecting nearly every american sleep deprivation. and that's why you need to know about relaxium sleep. you see, getting a good night's sleep helps support a healthy immune system, helps maintain a healthy blood pressure, healthy cardiovascular system, and a double blind placebo. clinical trial relaxium help people fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer and wake up feeling refreshed. >> when i take relaxium sleep, i sleep better than i have in years. >> i wake up feeling alert like . i've had the best night's sleep, called a day and get your very own risk bottle of relaxium sleep. take control of your health stop struggling with restless night's sleep like you were meant with relaxium relaxium sleep is so confident that it will work for you. they're giving away 1000 bottles.
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call eight under 3 to 2 0404 or go to tried relaxium com. >> saturday is baseball night in america on fox. led by mvp ronald acuna junior, the braves look to continue their dominance in a showdown against pete alonso and those rival mets shohei ohtani leads the angels against jose altuve and the astros. it's baseball night in america next saturday at seven eastern on fox. >> you know, you don't have to wear your gear anymore, right? right? treating you finfee. hamed when i got out, i didn't want to admit that there was ma like a failure. and then i realized, likybare f nothing to be ashamed of. >> so i started talking to someonethank yoteran yo. maybe you are fine. if you're not, it's okay. resourcthank you. if you are a veteran, you know,
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>> yeah. nobody's watching because it's late on a friday night. ch we're just going to chat about how the new york times are a bunch ofat. they screwed me over on my bestselling new book, so it debuteer od at number six on it the new york times chart, even though it sold more copies than the books that were ranked higher than that. i have thiat wers out chart. s t >> i have a chart that out and you get see, it bears up. i saw it in our eyes, our time,e in our daily. r]t happ that does happen to you? yeahen. sold the same thing. the exact same thing happened to me. i sold the most books, butos was that number three analyst? >> yes. yeah. we are victims of the best.s let happen to me, too, greg.ha o oh, i thought it was just cause was black, so i feel a lot better. no, it's because you work at fo bette no is bx and you're bl. yeah, but. yeah. which i made the list still. yes. well, the thing is, the historic event. yeah. i mean, the thing that
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the most it for me is my book. >> there was really there wasn really one political chapter in my book. yeah. it was like a book by a humapoin for humans about human things. yeah. and i think that a lot. and i thuld've people could have found things that they would have found helpful or enjoyed about the book, bu f t they the need to make it make assumptions about it. toe this happens all the time. it's almost a corrupt systemwitu without transparency. what does that sound like to you? tr sound liour election system by r are you enjoying the book? it's -- it's for sale everywhere. let' o numbers get it to number one. >>think we should add, greg, it didn't happen to me. . >> mine was number one. it was? yeah. you're. why? for s your number one for a month? why was your symbol one when you got to know people? >> greg. yes. you're just a blac. k somebody it's a black box of unknowability. that's an algorithm. only the iy control with a bunch of the elites. david talking about. and they choose who they wan el
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>> of course, you were number one, but they can't give that to you. you can't be the king of late night to you latt and one.. >> no, i had to make the choice list. i ha a choicd real quick. here's the thing. and this is where it's somend gt black thinking will help you and get through these troubling timethrougs. >> i gave zero about beingbecaus number one on new york because my bank account said i ban was o number one because i was number one on amazon and barnes and noble for like a month. yeahnd barneic, my book is stils something, so i'm bringingti ino cash new york times. >> i don't even live here. keep i't livept. ter] hey, i'm david. i always feel. i feel embarrassed for the new times because part of what they do is to placatethey the employ. yes. they don't want the employees to btheybe made mad today fox nr or talent or person's book is number one, because then
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you're taking the base by letting that happen. there you go. all right. sh rige did three voices. >> there you go. go. we'll be right back. do you struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep? tune in. all sleep support has a unique blend of five key ingredients that can you fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer so you can wake up refreshed. le i >> tune on the brand.in i trust summer may be winding down. the blend gets back to school. the blend gets back to school. sounds in full swing. e crushing big blender on the go so you can whip up a mouthwatering rapidl y via usb-c clean up is a breeze just blend water with a drop of soap, stand out even when you're accidentally twinning with a kaleidoscope of colors. don't be tardy for this. >> head over to blend jet.com and order yours. now.
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sunday on fox. the fifa women's world cup continues. i can't wait for this one. it's win or go home. alex morgan and sophia go lead the usa as defending champions. fight for a spot in the quarter finals against rivals. sweet go. that was terrific. the fifa women's world cup round of 16 sunday at 5 a.m. eastern on fox. more than 4 million animals go chronically unpaired by their owners, give them the pets they deserve with better pet hair. >> it's motion activated with a full range of physical affection. >> okay, this product isn't real, it's snake oil. however, this is very real. david spade hosts a new game show that asks, is it real or is it snake oil? >> don't miss the premiere snake oil. >> wednesday, september 27th on fox.
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