tv Gutfeld FOX News September 9, 2023 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT
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man comedy show spontaneous combustion tickets are available at tom shillue.com i am tom shillue, good night from new york city. foxnews.com. greg gutfeld is next. see you tomorrow night. >> yes. you can't hear me. you don't know what i'm saying. happy be -- wednesday everybody. or hump day. the wife makes amazing camel
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burgers. all right. settle down. so here's some news that will make you spit your latte all over. did you know that muscular strong and strapping men are per had served as more conservative than wimpy scrawny skinny dudes? >> yep. >> oh do you? show is over. gotta go. true, it seems that this appears to be more manly than this. heh heh heh heh. no wonder he's out of work. it's even before i open this beautiful mouth. well, now american researchers are confirming what suggested. if you're puny you're likely a
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progressive. check out how left wing these dudes are, right? anyway. that's probably a mistakeen photo. u.s. study participants were asked to assess the political orientation of men who varied in strength and muscle while considering various facets what constitutes conservatism and strong men appeared more conservative than weaker ones. buff broad shoulder men are only seen as liberal when they're changing in a woman's locker room. the perception that muscles equal conservative was seen whether related to societial or economics. all values that would make a gender studies major report a
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hate crime. but you know, doesn't it make sense? conservatism is based on incentives. do this, get that. liberalism is the opposite. don't do anything, it's okay. we got you. so the left rewards bad behavior and the right rewards good behavior, which is otherwise known as effort. this is why everyone in antifa looks like a pile of [bleep]. [laughter]. >> their idea of fitness is having a piercing only mildly infected with hepatitis. the study also found people believe strong men value personal liberty than weaker dudes but what does it mean for the rest of us? like conservative liberty minded dudes who aren't as muscular as they would like to be the jesse is about as conservative as they get but the only lifting he does
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is a hair brush. 5 hen reps each arm three times a day yet he's got the upper body strength of kat. what about fan favor comedian joe mackey over here. look at that. what a bundle of animal flesh. crawl all over him. but do people unfairly think he's liberal because he has the face of your aunt that never got married in that 14 cap? it's said every time he goes for a walk nyc he ends up upside down with his legs out the top of a trashcan. people think he looks like a lesbian. >> thanks for coming on. >> yes. you should have seen the ones i
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cut. really bad. but of course there's tyrus. he could kick the crap out of the g.o.p. elephant himself. is there any question how he and his 38 inch neck votes? >> nope. thanks mom. >> then there's kat. true her arms are mistaken for wish bones but she's as wirey as short hair terrier tangled up in a ball of yarn. the point is there are exceptions. look at chris cuomo. his new share ends on the close ed circuit of a tv at 7-eleven in queens. he built those muscles and built them through resistance training. mostly from women trying to resist his advances.
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i'm kidding. i'm not. so even though participants in the study' e-equated muscular physique with strong conservative values it's not always the case. it's like my uncle always told me can you judge a book by its cover unless it's written by brian kilmead. nerd. no, i don't either. >> this woman -- >> that's my mom. >> i know. but look, i know that generalizations like this suck and it's been my motto one must favor individuals over groups but my impression of the truly fit is they're apolitical or right wing. never outspoken leftist. so why can't people apply the principles of fitness to other aspects of life? muscles get better depending on what you put into them but that
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also would go for work education security safety the border economics so if you love the gym you might try that mentality elsewhere because it's not shocking that a lot of people equate looking strong with behaving strong as well. so the next time you need someone with strong values and strong jaw pick a tv host who has broad shoulders and chiselled physiques you need. yes. welcome tonight guests. his act has cleared more rooms than president biden's colon, comedian joe mackey! he has killed more fish than british petroleum, chef and restaurant owner andrew grule.
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she's like a rubik's cube difficult to figure out adored by nerds. guess who. and he once cartwheeled to australia, former nba world champion tyrus! joe, it's amazing. i make fun of you. you have wash board abs, we just can't see them. you're modest about your fitness. you cover it up with body stuff. why are you looking at me like that? >> greg, those insults are more off the mark than megan rafino penalty kick. >> you son of a gun. i would take my shirt off and flex right now if i waxed my back hair. but i tell thursday, i'm so
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conservative i use that to win body i boogie contests. i'll say this. you make a good point that the attributes that make someone who is really fit also like different areas of life,en stand up comedy the government can't write jokes for you though president biden does a lot of help. >> yes. i'm not sure i'm a big fan of the super fit competians. i need to laugh at somebody, not feel insecure. >> i wish we why just judged on our material. >> that will never happen with you. i say that because he's a genius! misunderstood in his time.
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they'll love him when he's dead in about 2028. andrew, air world famous chef. does this apply in the kitchen? like, men who can't cook are more right or more left? >> men who can't cook are more left. we ask this when we hire people. [laughter]. >> you know what's funny when i heard this study i went to reddit because i wanted to understand the truth behind this so on reddit this was brought up somebody asked about it and the overwhelming response people who are conservative are vain and only care about themselves. they don't think about equitable muscle distribution so it's incumbent on me to give most of my muscles away, so that'sy used
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to look like tyrus about six-eight a couple years. >> you have a three pack. you used to have a six pack. >> i used to have a keg. >> used to have a keg. kat, okay you're married now. you've been married almost ten years. congratulations. >> that it was quick. >> time flies. >> ten years, just under five. >> have you ever dated weak conservatives or jacked muscular liberals or did it ever enter the picture? >> they were all scrawny and weak. they were soap skinny we could share clothes. which was yeah. my husband my wardrobe was cut in half although you know who is really ripped you didn't mention like the most ripped people are
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obviously like gay fitness influencers. >> but they're generally apolitical. >> live in west hollywood. i was invited to a gay brunch in l.a. once and i had falsely assumed there would be food there. silly of me in retrospect but i also don't know how one gets muscles. >> it's easy. you lift things. why are garbage men so buffed? every day they're lifting stuff up and putting it down. that's how you build muscle. >> so become a garbage. >> become a garbage man. >> or pick things up a lot. >> can you do it around the house. can you lift up bottled water for workouts. this is from my experience working at prevention magazine, the tips i would give. i'm embarrassed doing this. >> i'm glad you didn't blow up while you still got it. >> by the way, gay brunch, redundant.
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don't you feel gay tyrus having brunch? >> i don't know. it's hollywood. i feel gay every day i guess. you know, it's funny that a lot of, because i work out and to be wrestling so there's a lot of gay, and it's always been kind of the same thing when the fitness guys will be very quiet about who they are politically because they don't want the backlash. so there's a lot more jacked gay conservatives than you realize for them not to get the backlash. it happens with a lot of brothers like that used to be tyrus want to come on this show? [bleep] no. you know, tyrus keep it up, dog. i'm cool. you're talking about wrestling. but here's the thing. why is it a big deal? why do antifa guys hook the way they do and only attack small elderly women?
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because it's individual achievement in the gym. you also risk failure and the audience is watching. if you bust your ass in the gym and eat 5 pizzas on the weekend you show up monday there's no excuses. you look at the michigan mirror and say i was ifgd as a fish and what does that have to do with the mirror and scale? it's fact based so when you get to that point when you get to the point you're on a consistent routine you keep track of everything how much you spend on training and you have to look where your money goes answer -- and you go i got to vote against these things. it's a mindset. it's a group because everybody can be lazy and miss rabld in the group because they don't have to account to anybody pause they expand the group. they're making new groups for themselves so they don't have to explain not succeeding with the group where as the guy in the
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gym sees the results and the truth is in the they factually put in the work. >> just to piggyback on that, when i'm at the gym i noticed that a lot of people into fitness also run their own businesses. it's usually something out of a trunk, but no. >> but it starts somewhere. >> it's a free market. if you want to shoot [bleep] in your veins, anyway what i'm saying is their capitalists and they're capitalizing on effort. i think we killed this segment. all right. rowdy crowd. up next what songs will they be cranking if they give biden a spanking? ♪
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(inspirational music) >> office seeking buffoons list their top tunes. leave it to politico to challenge the candidates with hardcore policy questions and the questionnaire asked users to make a 20 track comp, of your all-time favorite tracks that give other people the best insight into what stirs your soul. president biden listed his favorite songs but no one could find a phonograph that played
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78's. that big giant thing with the big cone. well the results are in and they're about as inspiring as the u.s. women's soccer team. yeah. not inspiring at all in case you missed that. first up nikki haley is georgiaing out to joan jett's i love rock 'n roll. she also loves war and i'm not talking about the band. vivek wildfires no longer making cool. asa hutchinson leaves levon helms musica. and will heard top track, never heard of him, by everybody. that should be his campaign
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slogan, never heard of him. chris christie's top tracks bruce springsteen, thunder road. i guess that beats rocky road or thunder thighs. he's a friend. he's a friend of this show. he loves our buffet. we knew it was unlikely chris would identify with born to run but come on christie. i think you know. you may not remember this but thunder road is not as good as you once thought. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [off key singing] >> wow.
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[applause] >> almost as bad as the white stripes. kat, okay. do you think this is real? was this like focus group like everything is? >> obviously. okay. so this is all of this is kind of embarrassing. and not because it's real but because they had people sit down and say these are the songs that you should pick and then people will like you. and these are the ones they close. my favorite think about asa hutchinson's list is it only had 8 songs and said he could only provide 8 songs. >> yes. >> that's funny on its own. one of them was get the party started, by pink. [applause] >> the focus group was, no we are going to get everybody to think you're the fun guy. >> this looks good. oh, the pink. the pink. they're amazing.
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>> actual top song is too revealing. you look at what i'm listening to on repeat that tells you having you need to know about me. >> you know every politician that's in the closet by their music. i love list flynn to napalm death and julie andrews. >> that would make you very popular like everybody else. the vivek how much more does eminem have to do to let you know you can't play their music. do not play or more importantly sing my music anymore. so, maybe he will stop. that's the problem. this is literally everyone and i think kat him only having 8 songs make hills realer than the rest and somebody says what's your favorite top ten songs you'll get to like 7 or 8 and then you're just saying stuff. you have 5 on rotation and then you have one you forgot about,
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oh, that's my jam but you don't remember that stuff so the fact whoever hit 20, fake. they're like pickett this one. make sure you pick up with from each group to left americans know i'm thinking of them. it would be refreshing if a president would go i got to get elected, i don't have time for this [bleep]. what's on my ipad right now? it's whatever is clever. >> if i'm running i would pick afternoon delight by the star land vocal abandonment remember the song, chevy van? thank you 90-year-old man over there. then something weird. you're right. andrew. would you be able to do this list off think about it before you do the list because you want a perception? it's like these are the songs i like but i'm going to change it because i want them to think i'm cool. >> i two never be honest same thing kat said because i listen
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to the indigo girls. >> no you don't that explains the beard. >> when you made the lesbian joke about joe i'm an indigo fan. >> did you ever go to the little fair? >> i love it. my nickname in high school was melissa etheridge. so i went on twitter and got one of these crazy hackers to go into all they're ipods and get their real list so the truth is chrisburger is cheeseburger in paradise and we got ron desantis, bridge over troubled water. we got joe biden, staying alive. you know. nikki haley, drop a bomb on me and then obviously donald trump is jailhouse rock. so let's just, the truth is the truth.
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>> that's funny. joe, i've never heard you listen to music at all s. music some kind of weird thing that you don't understand? >> no, greg, i liston music all the time. it's just i listen to one song. >> what is it? >> it's a duet between neil diamond and barbra streisand because it combines not wasting money on flowers with breaking up with barbra streisand, but the favorite part about this story is this is a fluff piece meant to humanize the candidates and mike pence didn't participate. [laughter] >> and then really creepy like the sound of my wife's voice. >> they would have picked hanging around by the stranglers. too soon? >> he's a real big dmx guy.
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>> time for mock it and move on. first up the popular cooking competition show, the great british bake-off going woke and country famed weeks in the new season because viewers were offended by racial jokes stereotypes cultural inaccuracy and past episodes. andrew, i always like your stories about people were offended and you never know who these people are. right? right? it's just like they were mad about the japan week or something. who actually that is time to get mad over this stuff? >> i mean from a culinary
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perspective i was mad because during japan week everybody made chow mein. nobody should be hosting a food show except me so that's first and foremost but the hosts were bad on. this they thought they were funny but their jokes weren't great. the hosts said the most exotic they got with food is having lunch at panda express so i don't think there was much diversity of thought into this. >> i was so disappointed they weren't serving panda. >> false advertising. >> joe this is a cooking show in britain. that's like having a show about teeth in britain. >> they're not known for their food but i don't understand all the fake outrage about, two white hosts wearing sombreros. it's cliché but they're not trying to disparage anybody or take work from mariachi bands.
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the reason they're job les nobody likes likes mariachi bands. >> i didn't see that coming into this segment. >> he was laying those tracks early on in the show. [laughter] >> your showing is going off on its merry own. there it goes. >> my favorite was taliban week. excluding cakes. >> well, just cut each other's hands off. somebody stole ingredients. listen. this fake outrage, i want names picture and video. it has to be a minute long. you have to carry this [bleep] at least a minute. same thing always happens. producer in back saw a chance the woke wanted to push their ideals so you just canceled your show. once you woke it it's done it's broke because there's no woke
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audience and they'll be what happened? no outrage, no feelings because they just ruined a show. if a white guy wears no mexican clothes if they had hats backward and gold chains for southern food week and they were making watermelon souffle and fried chicken, look at joe, he's furious, no mariachi. no one would care. it's always the secret identity that comes out. it's tals most racist dude that's the limb ramped and the guy with the most problems tells on himself, we got to stop this. it's always the liberal that brings out the racist. [applause] >> they did go too far on the mexican theme show kat. they made a burrito large enough to conceal three illegal
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immigrants. >> so yeah i've never seen the show. >> neither have i. >> ever. but i don't like to do the whole cooking thing. then i realize i watch a lost murder shows and i don't do that twloel thing either but i feel like in general to tyrus's point if you're sitting there watching a cooking show and getting we will miffed everybody is right about you. >> it's sad we are in a society where five people g destroy a career or job or anything. >> or maybe you're hungry. >> it's such a great point, kat. i'm throwing my hat on the ground. there is 1500 channels now. push last and move on with your night. >> they should have a woke
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network. how fun would that be? >> they document it's called cnn-plus. [laughter] >> i haven't seen the numbers yet but i heard they're shocking. >> a husband is creating a debate about whether you should wait for your spouse at the gate or board a plane and take off without them if they don't make it in time, the anonymous traveler explained in a red it post his wife went to buy coffee at the last minute just as board is was about to start. he wanted to wait as long as he could and called her several times, but no answer, so he boarded without her and the plane left and she missed the flight and today get on the next wind and the next one crashed and she died. [laughter]. >> and the last part is false. i was wish casting. >> which means he made a great
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choice. >> i'm sorry. i think it was joe who made this point, i can't remember, but like the gall of somebody going to get coffee at the last minute just pisses me off. >> this is a sexist story. if it's a woman who says tyrus went to get coffee, nobody would have a problem with it. i get to the airport two hours early. if you don't get coffee in that hour and 45 before boarding time, my family knows i'm the first one on. everybody in wheel chairs with dirty shoes, don't fall for that. >> wheelchair with dirty shoes! >> thank you. that's all i'm checking. >> your shoes are dirty! >> lazy. >> i'm so going to say that next time i'm there. >> i do it all the time. you see the dirty shoes, give
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them a look. just make sure you check the shoes first but i'm on f. you're not with me, hey. i'm not missing him. i don't miss planes. >> neither do i. i'm wondering which one would do which. would you leave if he did this or would he leave if you did this? >> to tyrus' point if i did this and left him that would be okay. but if he did it to me it would not be okay but it's true. ever since i got married, i'm just on complete auto pilot at the airport. i know where my gate is, where i'm going. somebody's like, your boarding pass, i'm going how the [bleep] did i know? that's his job to be worried about. but i get stressed. i need to get their early. size land on vacation i almost
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should stay there. >> i'm pretty bad like that i used to get hotels near the airport. >> why do you drink coffee before boarding an airplane? >> and the coffee is is free and you might get diarrhea. >> the whole audience has never had diarrhea. >> they showed the tape of the delta. it was a storm. i'm not joking. you are let's say in flight terms you're a womanizer. you're with a different woman every week so is this something that happens to you when you fly with the girls when you take them to your resorts and stuff? >> greg, i'd divorce her if she wanted me to waited in a regular starbucks. okay? if you're with me you're going to go exhausted from a night of love making and i don't have to go into starbucks and wait a half hour every day. they're called caffeine pills.
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look into them. all right? i'll make love to you like i'm a gay fitness instructor. >> and yes, the boundary music is a mariachi band. >> all right, chef grule where do you stand on this? >> i've got four kids and in we travel it's kind of unspoken it's all out anarchy. there are no rules. my wife goes i i got to go to the bathroom. that's because i don't want pulling kids down the bridge. i would expect from my wife, the reality is that when you get on a plane, rules don't apply. look what happens when a plane lands? i see one guy cross body block a 91-year-old for the last savory snack mix. >> they assume you're never
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sometimes the tough thing to do is to get help to prevent serious damage. i like your sensitive side. don't mess with your melon. if you hit it, get it checked. >> coast to coast with stories that matter most, you're watching local news with long-time ambassador to trinidad and tobago, chef van jansen. now, here is chet. >> yes. local news. it's local news where each guest has to share a story where ever they're from. i vote on a winner. we interrupt "gutfeld!" for breaking news, chet van jansen stripped of his ambassadorship to trinidad after another nude escapade. he was caught in the mud like a
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pigment college coeds described it is as disgust is yet artistic. when asked for comment jansen reportedly said bite me and offered him a taste of his mud pie. we will keep you updated on this story as we learn more. now back to "gutfeld!." >> kat! what's your local story? >> bull in illinois missing six days but bound him. >> do you have any pictures? >> it's not my job there. he is. but i don't know what he did for six days but hope he had a nice time. >> there's no -- >> no, but the bull is being rehomed. the people who lost the bull, were they bad bull people? >> i don't know. sounds like a lot of bull lonnie. >> pittsburgh pennsylvania society is crumbling further a big brawl at country music
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concert at a port a potty over cutting and instead of just going away we have more people being famous for no good reason starting with billy ray cyrus. >> andrew. >> southern california base taco bell launching mountain dew gel toe targeting southern california meth heads and they wanted to actually me to come on and con superintendent and i suggested the immodium ice creek but they nixed that. >> tyrus. >> dollar general and alligator. nuf said. alligator decided to go shopping at dollar general and apparently there were a bunch of animal racists and they didn't let him
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in. >> aw. >> waiting for a response from the alligator but apparently doesn't speak english either. >> go back to where you're from alligator! we speak american. up next a florida ma meet the future. a chef. a designer. and, ooh, an engineer. all learning to save and spend their money with chase. the chef's cooking up firsts with her new debit card. hungry? -uhuh. the designer's eyeing sequins. uh no plaid. while mom is eyeing his spending. nice. and the engineer? she's taking control with her own account for college. three futures, all with chase. freedom for kids. control for parents. one bank for both. chase. make more of what's yours. (josh allen) is this your plan to watch the game today? (hero fan) i have to watch my neighbors' nfl sunday ticket. (josh allen) it's not your best plan. but you know what is? myplan from verizon. (vo) football season is here. get nfl sunday ticket from youtubetv on us. a $449 value. plus, get a free samsung galaxy z flip5. only on verizon.
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>> trans-atlantic adventure hamster wheel joe coast guard arrested florida man after trying to travel to london in a human size hamster wheel and he said there might have been a bomb on board and wouldn't cooperate with authorities. >> they should just leave this man alone. plenty of people do dangerous things all the time and they allow it. there's legal injection for drugs. there's girl permy midding in high school that's way more dangerous. >> he's got a point with the weird guy. >> should have let them roll like shark sushi. just let him go. where are you going? going to london. take care bro but it's that way. >> he said he was trying to raise money for the homeless. do you think that was true? >> the unhoused.
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>> sorry. >> but this is arts, right? so don't throw it away. this is the per sonifcation bidenomics. >> would you again gauge this guy if he was single. >> i probably would have found it interesting. i'll go on your hamster wheel. but no, i didn't so yay me but the fact that he actually was alive long enough to get arrested i would call a win. >> yeah, definitely bit. the way i don't know if you know this this is how baseball pitchers arrive from cuba.
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unfortunately life took him too soon, only 36, he was a baby. he was buried today with my family unfortunately i couldn't make it. this is my way of saying thank you windham and save me a seat of that table >> greg: that is it for us. thank you andrew september 9, 2023 i am in for john scott thanks for ♪ >> happy saturday, i'm aisha hensley, nicole saphier and jimmy failla. welcome to the big weekend show. the big story tonight, touchstone 2024. [cheering] >> you got to love it, fall, football season and presidential
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