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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  September 20, 2023 12:00am-1:00am PDT

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senate votes and a signature of a president, we haven't had 60 senate and over 100 years parad we might have 55 pro-life senators to live start humanizing this issue and bringing people together for th good of saving baby spread. >> people have to understand it's really state issue, it's not a federal issue. >> it's in the hands of the people very. >> governor nikki haley, thank you for being with it right tha is all the time we have this evening great live audience shows tomorrow in thursday, we would love for you to join us, tickets are free you just have to register at hannity.com. it's that simple. thank think you to our in studi guests and surprise guests very don't forget to set your dvr you never miss a show, let not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld is going to put a smile on your face. [crowd noise]
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♪ >> don't stop. don't you stop. happy tuesday, everyone. with a mildly attractive group. he thought his doctor was a jer until his heart no longer works great comedian and actor bob in kirk has been kicking around show business for over 30 years he started with a writer on snl he was funder on the ben stille show he cocreated the brillianc sketch comedy and now most people know him as the cd attorney on better calls all th good things is no lawyer that sleazy in real life, am i right? he also does a lot of charity work for the underprivileged. i knew the audience would not
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know who david cross is, but i left it in there anywhere. a few years ago, he had a heart attack and almost died while filming the final cvs of his season. better calls all became better call 911. it's a fate i wouldn't wish on any actors unless they try to bring back according to jim. he survive thank goodness, and recently he went on a podcast and look back on his heart attack saying this near-death experience could have been prevented if he had only listened to his doctor. so why didn't he listen? to get my doctor was a conservative. he got cranky her and cranky of the older he got very i cussed mac hated this side of him that i only learned over time for it he said you need to start takin statins right now and i said well, i don't know i don't have heart disease and my family he said just take them and i had a heart attack rate i think the first doctor was right, the
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cranky conservative jack was right because he was a good doctor. is political point of view doesn't have anything to do wit his ability to judge your healt and your health choices and means. take it that's well said, that' why i never question my liberal doctor when he gives me a mammogram. so it appears he's a guy, he wanted everybody to know the tough lesson he had learned. i'm sure all of showbiz friends deserted like him like he was jerry nadler at a colony. i know, think about that. america needs more of that thes days. of that and handsome brilliant people like me to point it out. we need to start seeing each other as human beings again. not just ponds of two opposing political parties. our lives more important than the dumb agenda and somebody should tell them at the heifers at the view. we are people, not talking points, except kat, she's more
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of warning label. what if you have a doctor with different worldview like i don' know, maybe this? the upside, so you can check your prostate without her hands. i know. but imagine if he had a far lef doctor who had told him not to do anything to prevent heart disease because you know, there are too many humans on the planet already because he's an old like i because politics wil indeed matter if you have felt woke doctor only concerned with equity. that's the logic. sorry you're going to die, but enjoy your last few months knowing you contributed to an equitable society. here is an envelope for blm whe you make at your build parade you can imagine how bad things
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would get with all the jobs you rely on to make your life bette were filled with woke knuckleheads. the woke mechanic would say instead of an oil change, i converted your card to solar power. it only works when it's sunny out. or how about the woke police officer, can i see some id? we had reports there are people over the age of 18 at this drag show. for how about the woke teacher, wait, those are everywhere. and how is that working out? our students are cussed back fo it it's education is taking knowledge freight also you mind if you are show you yours. let's look at it from the opposite perspective. how many will express have refused good advice sure, i could have changed my oil when the check engine light came on four months ago if i supported poisoning mother earth with fossil fuels, also, can you giv me a ride home?
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i'm against the use of all petroleum products including plastics. you will need to do that prostate exam wearing a renewable wool glove. wasting all that water just because my homes on fire? now i'm really glad i glued myself to that fire hydrant. let's say he's a dark skinned white male. if all this owns crazy, conside we now have doctors in america cutting off little boy's genitals because they play with barbies and somebody told them they are actually girls. thank god these doctors weren't around when i was a kid, i went trick-or-treating as a kid just like dorothy hamill three in a row. i have 27 saker bars and three gold medals. doctors are capable of being as unethical as anybody else. plus, they can't dance.
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♪ singing ♪ he could for years we've heard the refrain that's between me and pain doctor. i've said it many times myself when i'm asked what i'm doing a the gynecologist. but even medicine is getting word. the medic and medical association is pushing somethin awful called health equity to fight narratives grounded in white supremacy. meaning they will treat you as one person belonging to a group that impresses rather than a person with chest pain. may be a deserve to be sick, that, that's between me , my doctor and the department
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of motor vehicles. or would you, if you'd rather have a heart attack to listen t republican maybe the problem is in the republicans. sure you went completely blind now, but at least you didn't left an ophthalmologist tell yo what to do. the moral of the story, listen to the person who is telling yo a hard truth, even if you don't like it. if you insist on being woke all the time covert take it up with your innes dz allergist. to get let's welcome tonight's guests, like stevie wonder, he also doesn't get to see his kids , actor, writer, comedian jamie speak lissow. she is tougher on china than a loose ball, former state department spokesperson morgan ortagus. throat. stick in in any olive garden in american you will hit ten guys that looks just like him, fox
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news contributor tom shillue. and she's got more fake hair thin at trumping bear, new york times best-selling author in fo news contributor kat timpf. jamie, in the green room you said your doctor keeps pushing assisted suicide on you. any reason why? , he wants me to assist myself, which is so weird. >> i have a very, my surgeon is old, he was wearing a mask even before covid. it took a minute but then they were right there with me. i really do, i trust my doctor and he really is as many doctor are, he told me to stop traveling for comedy. i said i heard that, may be being on the plains is bad for health, he said is because you've been coming here for
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years and you've never said anything funny. that always makes me think of other people. i am very glad they admitted this. it's cool to admit, people you've got to listen to people who are smarter. anesthesiologist, that's an important job, like i could never have done that. when i worked at arby's, sometimes i would give someone little bit of extra. with anesthesiology, you can't do that. >> that was pretty good. >> thank you. >> end on the a high note so do speak. tommy, as an actor, you probabl paid plate at doctor. what you make of this, should you judge somebody on politics?
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>> it's interesting. like i say, like you said, like jamie said, give the guy credit because it seems like he's learning. that was a revelation for hip. this guy is a republican, but maybe he will give me the good advice freight i don't like his advice. if there's any reason to think that's why he had his heart attack rate may be it was a different thing that caused his heart attack like the injection he got three months before he had the heart attack. the experimental injection. may be? may be. to get you really hate that faxing, don't you? >> i don't know anybody who is, i know a lot of conservatives and i know a lot of liberals. i don't know any conservatives who would not trust their doctors because they were liberal.
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not that many of them. >> ill note never be able to find them because they won't admit it. >> the thing about the doctors, it's like bipartisan. i think they both failed. the doctors on the right and th doctors on the left, most of them failed during covid, but the ones that didn't, doctors during covid, a lot of them, so few of them were able to buck the system, those who were we'r usually the conservatives. the one on the left, they actually were forced into being conservatives. there are many doctors that you can see. and people even left-wing activists, they were skeptical of the covid policy, so it's no really a bipartisan thing, but they always made it one.
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>> that is so true. morgan, i think this comes from the original ideology of progressivism this is why they can only say i need to have politics at this sporting events . i need to have politics at academia. i need to have it at the thanksgiving table. >> actually that was there firs dance at my reading. >> lady in red? >> i were red wedding dress. >> is at the rolling stones? >> you know i never know the names of these bands. it's interesting that it's even news, odin kirk talked about this that this is such a revelation that a conservative could be good at something. i don't even know why it's news in he felt and named it need to talk about it, but i think what taught sucks is because of politics, it has entered every profession, places that it didn't used to be. i had a baby a few days after the election in i went to a win brent sumter, but now i would g into the birthing center for people who are giving birth and
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whatever ridiculous names are using now. it's not going to end well for whoever is delivering. [applause] >> kat, i'm going to go out on limb and say you probably got some bad advice from doctors. >> i'm a unique individual with my own very unique medical history, so i don't think as part of a group i want to work. whenever they say when you say here they go. i think it's great that he actually said this because i think he's a guy they kind of does this a lot freight i remember in the summer of 2020 when all these tv shows in episodes were getting scrubbed from streaming services from al these different shows. i was like i disagree with that
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happening i think that's important thing to do. i apsley don't have a choice because i'm a libertarian that only saw doctors, but agreed with me, that just wouldn't be thing. i don't think gary johnson coul have done my surgery. >> rupaul is and he's an ophthalmologist for it that's a eye doctor, jamie pratt. >> i thought that was somebody who thought really positive about something. >> that's funny. so alright, i think we settled nothing. up next, could the laws of mental power send national security sour? teeth sensitivity is so common. it immediately feels like somebody's poking directly on the nerve. i recommend sensodyne. sensodyne toothpaste goes inside the tooth and calms the nerve down. and my patents say: “you know doc, it really works."
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>> thank you. there you go. that's more like it. is our national security not fine when our leaders minds and decline? it could be time to bench you i you are a with dementia. the pentagon funded study by th rand corporation points out the obvious, dementia could lead to national security threat. i thought it could only need to having your hair sniffed. or laundering with your sunbird ironically that report was published earlier this year. evidently they were too busy watching reruns of matlock grea people are living longer and working later in life. plus a third thing. people are living longer and working later in life.
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and worse, some people continue working even after they stopped living. for us, it stands to reason tha an increasing number of personnel who have hold securit clearances will have dementia. translation, they won't remembe there anniversary or the launch codes. it raises vital project with national national security prid will it impact foreign relation or will they use weapons of mas distraction distraction to settle disputes at villages. it's a reality with joe biden i charge. it something that makes us wonder if it's world life or is it imaginary like his handshake to know one. if you are not president not only would you seize the keys t
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his corvette ut even prefer hunter to drive for a while. joe is more out of touch than joy behar at a mensa meeting. the un general assembly there was this garbled mess,. >> all of our institutions and drive creative partnerships great let me be clear, certain principles our in the national system are sacrosanct. >> thank god he said let me be clear. and thank god he wasn't on the world stage or anything. it could have been embarrassing. so is twilight years are the twilight zone, only without the creepy music. maybe we should add some.
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>> drive creative new partnerships. let me be clear. certain principles our in the national system are sacrosanct. to keep my god, that gives me chills. last week he told a bunch of rabbis on the phone quote i.e. might say it was raised in the synagogues and my state. you think i'm kidding, i'm not. add that to the other places that joe claims he grew up in, black churches, the puerto rica community, and narnia. at least he didn't confuse ray by rabies with what has joe got to say? >> i'm more jewish than most rabbis, just ask them. i remember one time when i was 12 years old, i went missing fo three days and my parents didn' know where i was, i told them mom, dad, i'm just hanging with my jewish friends. my buddies like corn pops chain he was a bad dude. [applause]
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>> tom, i think you are now officially a more capable president then he is. is it getting harder to do impressions of him? >> it's getting worse freight i don't even think i'm good at that impression. i can't do it, greg. if i try to do an accurate biden , you wouldn't understand anything i say. it looked like he wore my suit freight did he have the same suit on? i think he did. look, i think that the people who actually run this country, it's an ideal situation for them . a lot of people say he can't do it, he can't possibly run again he's going to run again because nobody's going to stop him. the people behind the scenes left this. it's the best deal possible the push them out there every once in a while. everything they're doing in the white house, it's actually very confident it's a competent ruining of the united states of america. they actually are taking advantage of this and i think
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they are going to run him again great he's going to refuse to say junkets in there he will refuse to debate trump and he i the basement like he did before and they think they're going to do this again. that's their plan. i think they like what they doing and they think they can d it again. >> i agree with you completely. you're the only person doing impressions of biden and he is pure comic gold, what does that say about the entertainment industry? morgan, your expertise is national security and national security threats. shouldn't we be concerned about dementia? >> like internet people that have security clearances, sure, maybe that's how we will find out about the ufos, but listen, by the time somebody gets dementia or whatever informatio they have is probably data that has already expired that is security clearance, so i'm not so worried about that, but i do think that it is risky. as you just says to have somebody that's clearly not in
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control the way we just thought in that video because there is vulnerabilities. if you are xi jinping you make plans because we get this guy mumbling on the world stage, i don't think he's going to do anything to stop me. i do think, and i know they shows that we're funny and i love it and every the number on show and late night, but i thin on a serious note we are at great risk and this country because we do have somebody tha i don't know what he has, but clearly nefarious actors are willing to take risks they wouldn't take was somebody else like trump being in charge. >> it's not just nefarious actors, or already taking advantage on the border. thousands upon thousands of people are coming and he doesn' give a. i think it's unclear to blame his age because he's always bee this way and there are very capable people that age they could do a good job.
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it's about the deceits deceit, the lying and just the abdication of responsibility. >> i would never disparage 80 -year-old man. cute now, there your fan base. >> exactly. exactly. i'm not going to turn on the ones that love me the most. but watching that video, did yo just get so mad thinking about all the traffic. it's like oh, that's what they're doing over there? also because biden was in a broadway shore yesterday and i actually had huge problem, he did not follow the show. what's going on with all those people. >> the un i think, it's a joke, it to just be in a field somewhere. >> a field far away.
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to geico, take your private jet to a field into it there and ge away because he just gets up there and it's like you needs that? >> it's embarrassing. jamie, how do you feel like that ? >> that is a real take, right? didn't you wonder, joe biden looks like he's doing exaggerated impersonation of to shillue doing joe biden. what is weird is when he gets drunk he has perfect diction. he is a liar, think about all the things he said, he grew up and singing to god's, he had no knowledge of the family busines for a drummer he said that one time he knew how to ride a bike and then all of that stuff. i hope that motorcade, every time he's in a presidential motorcade come he's like why ar we getting pulled over?
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[cheers and applause] i did hear him put in the back of a limo from now on there jus to save time, going to put him in the back of an ambulance. >> should we stop? >> cut out the middleman for it are we done? okay, we've got to move on. while new york falls apart, they ah, these bills are crazy. she
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because removing historical statues worked out really well last time. kat, if they are discussing thi legislation and i thought this whole thing was over but the real question is where are the homeless going to? to get that's a question. the answer is wherever they want . also, i was reading the article i was like okay at they don't want to take them down than the department of transportation ha to consult with the department of education so i don't think they'll ever come down because the government will spend a bunch of money figuring out how to do it and i don't know, am i just not observant, but does anybody spend enough time looking around saying that stature is a black-eyed. i'm just always looking at my phone. this is making a big deal where there is no deal at all, at all. you know, without the statues, where are new yorkers supposed to cover stuff with graffiti?
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that's where i do it for it can get that's what you do after th show. >> exactly. the crazy thing about all of this is that there's even a cultural affairs committee. this is already one of the most diverse and amazing cities on the planet so now you need this committee. how about having committee to deal with crime, homelessness that thousands of migrants that are coming to the city. i just feel like there's a lot going on in the art that they should be worried about. hay attention to the crime in the city. >> statues don't and rob and kill, they don't even move. >> that's right, except for thi one nightmare i had. >> and you know, what is the point, what is this going to do? washington, he is also on the dollar bill. rights, we're going to close of the strip club?
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i always think about, washingto on the dollar, i always think i hope you like that picture of himself because there was a headshot out there of me wants to numbly go, it's everywhere. >> your dollar bill is on tmz. i wonder if you were on the dollar bill, you'd probably get just holding it out like you is that? ben franklin comes up, like you have change for a 100? he was a player. if you're going to get rid of someone you think is offensive there are probably 30 guys doin heroin doing heroin and that pretty get new york's problems are plenty, you have people while robbing walgreens, pushin women in front of subways, shooting up and overdosing on your doorstep, but this is the priority. the group said they want statue for anyone who owns claims or
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benefited from slavery, which i thought everyone all right thinking that we all benefited from slavery, so that would mea that no one would be able to have a statue, but people from the columbus group trying to defend columbus was saying columbus was a migrant and i'm like oh, now you last conservatives. that's not going to help, don't buy into their argument. >> veeck sure you get back the statue of liberty, they were colonialist. >> that's a great point, morgan. >> i'm smart every now in then. >> mostly than. that was mean and i don't care. coming up, a trans spokesperson takes there are some things that go better... together. burger and fries... soup and salad. thank you! like your workplace benefits and retirement savings. with voya,
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is ukraine's trans spokesperson still a thing? sarah is responding to the senator jd vance after he sent letter to top cabinet secretaries asking if she's getting any american funding or has ties to intel agencies. rowlett. >> we are fighting for global liberty and the ideology of victory. to many in moscow and across th world are still caught up in focusing on gender chaos. by stating unequivocally that i only answer to three groups of people. my ukrainian commanders. and the american taxpayer. >> i swear that is chris elliott . remember, this is the same person who said this? >> if you look at putin's mouth you will notice that blood drip from that. needs a vampire, carrying out genocide against ukrainians and
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he bays in the blood of innocen children and enjoys it. this is why the dictator of the russian federation must be deposed. >> morgan, as a former state department spokeswoman, how would you rate her abilities? >> i really don't think it's real. i thought somebody was sending me if you're going to be a spokesperson, no one ever talks like that. you don't think about killing everybody and blood dripping from people's mouth, that's not how you conduct yourself. there is a lot going on in the ukraine and i think there's a big supplemental fight whether we support them or not, they could probably find some better spokespersons for spokespersons for it. >> it's real me.
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tom, ukrainian leaders, their bosses, they are not going to complain because they want to keep getting the billions of dollars so they keep getting their mouth shut while this person, this insane person just keeps battling. >> jd vance wants to know what' going on. this person, can i say that being trans is the un- weirdest person thing about this person. >> yes. >> but this was the quote, simply put, an american serving as infantry officer and come back netiquette it goes on and on, it's not simply put. i don't know who they are, but has anyone asked if he is comfortable with this person? they should. >> he will say everything is cool, keep writing those checks
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jamie, here is the theory. this person is a spokesperson t keep her away from the weapons. let's find a safe place away from all of these sharp objects. >> i will be honest with you. i just heard we get, we giddy wig wig wig. wig wig wig. >> and not a good one. >> that looks like a wig she bought at the checkout next to the gum. right? it is crazy. i have a new video i could thin about to last longer during sex. >> now that's going to be in my head. >> i'm sorry. is just as like oh think about baseball, i love baseball so much, it makes me finish fast. >> how did we get here?
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>> i don't know. i apologize. even the flag is curling up in the background. you know, kat, she says her bos is the american taxpayer. >> i wish you would stop it. to get that's the thing, i feel bad because this person doesn't have brains. i know i'm serious, if there wa a friend, you look insane doing this, you look insane when you do these things. whenever i post, on instagram real, i'll send it to a friend, is this okay, is as good, shoul i post this. i'm not a spokesperson for a country? so how do you not have an edito that you are passing this by, it's one is worse, what if ther is an editor and summaries telling them this is a good job. nobody's going to watch this insight you know what, i agree with all of this. is the messenger.
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talk about the vampire lick bathing in the blood of kids, that shouldn't be your inaugura statement. >> i guess they show this video to jamie vance and sheet he asked like that she have a hard on for me? we should probably end on that note, right? up next, says bon voyage t
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it looked hard by joe biden. yeah, it's like where is he. where is it? but, look, i think she's great
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the way that she just talks to reporters, she talked to tmz an i think she's great. she's cute and i like her. >> she doesn't give to f's. >> what else do you need? she's great, she's cute, and i like her. >> jamie, as everybody knows, you you're single and she's single. why don't you guys have a go at it? you would have a great time. >> i feel for her, you know my history, something almost exactly like this happen to me when i was loaded in a theater. >> i'm all for public displays of affection in theater. no matter what musical you're watching, you have a chance of it happening. >> when i saw that you could record like surveillance, that there was surveillance in a dar theater, just a cold sweat went up my spine. >> and know what you mean, ever time i see elevator tapering great oh my god, i should stop
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doing that. >> kat, do you have any dating advice that you would like to impart now that she is free of this person? >> where they really liked together? i mean there like her boyfriend i feel was. >> they were all over each othe paretsky get that's right, you can do that and leisure and a relationship. i don't know, it's kind of really hard to date when everybody's watching you and filming, but, advice i guess, would be just you know, keep dating. keep dating. and i learned that there are cameras and more places than i thought which i don't think is good for society. and nothing to do with me, but on behalf of society. >> you know, morgan, it's prett obvious it was a democrat in that video because he only grabbed her left breast.
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>> i have to say it's an impressive rack if you watch th video. i have no idea what her face looks like. i was mildly jealous. i think, what is going on in th house, you have her fondling he date, dating ed tantric guru fo a while to write i don't know what's going on in the house republicans, but apparently it' a good time in there. my only issue is on the way out she looked at the guards or whoever is kicking her out and said do you know i am? it is so because mac obnoxious when people pull they do you know who i am? to get i say it is a question, does anybody know who i am? unlike please. that's really an earnest question. >> alright, alright, alright, don't go anywhere, we'll be right back. >> if you'd like free tickets t
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see gutfeld go an unthinkable genocide took the lives of six million jews and thousands of jewish survivors are still suffering in poverty today. god calls on people who believe in him to act on his word. "comfort ye, comfort my people." these elderly jews are weak and they're sick. they're living on $2 a day which is impossible. they don't have enough money to buy food. it is a miserable situation and they have nowhere else to turn but to us for help. this now, is how god's children are living. take this time to send a survival food box to these forgotten jews. the international fellowship of christians and jews urgently need your gift of $25 now to help provide one survival food box
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with all of the essentials they critically need for their diet for one month. no vitamins and no protein so my legs and hands are very weak. oh, oh, oh let's make sure that we bring them just a little bit of hope. by bringing them a little bit of food. become a part of the fellowship today by reaching out to bless these precious people of god. for just $25, you can help supply the essential foods they desperately need for one month. your support will provide them with a box overflowing with nourishing food and the knowledge that faithful christians around the world care about them. god tells us to take care of them, to feed the hungry. and i pray holocaust survivors will be given the basic needs that they so desperately pray for to survive.
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hey, i just got a text from my sister. you remember rick, her neighbor? sure, he's the 76-year-old guy who still runs marathons, right? sadly, not anymore. wow. so sudden. um, we're not about to have the "we need life insurance" conversation again, are we? no, we're having the "we're getting coverage so we don't have to worry about it" conversation. so you're calling about the $9.95 a month plan -from colonial penn? -i am. we put it off long enough. we are getting that $9.95 plan, today. (jonathan) is it time for you to call about the $9.95 plan? i'm jonathan from colonial penn life insurance company. sometimes we just need a reminder not to take today for granted. if you're age 50 to 85, you can get guaranteed acceptance whole life insurance starting at just $9.95 a month. there are no health questions so you can't be turned down for any health reason.
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the $9.95 plan is colonial penn's number one most popular whole life plan. options start at just $9.95 a month. that's less than 35 cents a day. your rate can never go up. it's locked in for life. call today for free information. and you'll also get this free beneficiary planner, so call now. (soft music) ♪ hello, colonial penn? when we started selling my health products online our shipping process was painfully slow. then we found shipstation. now we're shipping out orders 5 times faster and we're saving a ton. go to shipstation.com /tv and get 2 months free.
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all right, we have time for one final thought, could get him going to texas i want people to come see me. i'm going to be in dallas-fort worth and i'm going to be in houston, i want some red state love out there,. >> is if the $6 million man coming? >> i think we is coming to the hobby center. did you play the heavy center? >> that is time for both of you. i'm so tired of hearing them. things to jamie robb comest kat timpf, tom's feet ♪ ♪ >> laura: hi, everyb

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