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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  September 23, 2023 12:00am-1:00am PDT

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>> fox nation has crime car true crime lovers don't miss the event of the year packed with top speakers taking you inside their stories featuring nancy grace, emily companion and more. streaming now on fox nation. plus, sign up and get your first three months of fox nation for 199. >> that's right. unfortunately, that is all the time we have left this friday. s as always, thank you for joining us for making the show. possible. e an by the way, programing note, next week we have an audiencen show on thursday and ticketslut are absolutely, positively free . it will be the day after next week's republican presidential debate. we will be therete.we will be. that as well. tickets free. registerregi .com.is all right. set your dvr so you never, ever eversode miss an episode of hannity. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. wht yoy greg gutfeld standing b next, he's going to put a smile on your facepu. ace. >> have a great weekend.
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you know it. you know, it's all right. yeah. okay. yeah. >> enough. you're you're eating into my timg e. t it's friday, so you know what that means. let'eanss tonight's guest, he'sn fox and friends first. >>in our but in our hearts, he's dead. last co-host on fot, x and friends first cut by row as a former miss universe judge, she's noo n stranger to inept hosts who said the whoep chat heavily >>stin. he gets his fashion advice g frm john fetterman, founder of the leftist party icon michael loftusparty.col loftus. and finally, he's a humvee, large, powerful and capable of carrying arnold
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schwarzeneggermvee. "new york times" bestselling author, comedian and former nwa . yeah, yeah. t to >> all right. okay. okay. okay. before we get to some new stories, let's do this. e news e greg's leftovers. e my >> mm. c i don't like my caller. but it's too late to turn back. it makes my head look tiny. we got a little greg's tiny head resting on the collaractu looks small. yeah, i know, i know. it's really funny, actually. it's leftoversaleftovers i whers the jokes we did use this week. re and as always a, it's my firt time reading these, so if they , will rip off joe mackie'sad and use thems to make pepperoni pizza. >> according to a new study, the cost of raisin g a child qut to age 18 is nearly a quarteerro of $1,000,00n 0 and that's justv to cover the cost of cocaine. t >> by the way, hunter is suing the irs, violating his privacy.
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because ife there's one thing ' all know about hunter biden, there's nothing he values s mors more than privacy. >> this week, hundreds of people who identify as dogs theyered in the center of berlin. that's germany. they dressed dres a variety of canines, including a few french poodles who immediately over for their german shepherds . when the german shepherd was asked if he ha d eight or ten . >> one replied nine. the delivery saved it. yeah. delivery. say yeah. yeah. that's like. cr. it my talenty lent critics of the gathering asked what kind of become, s an animl that's always sniffing things. the president, in an unhinged sr rant. ukraine transgender spokesperson sarah ashton cirillo said putin batheschil
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in the blood of innocent children and enjoys itdr. that's nonsense. there's only one person who bathes in children'sthne pe, and she does it on the advice of her doctor. >> the a new study foundaverag that the average person's homee is completely less thanhoweve two weeks a year. however, this study mayeven o be irrelevant for people that don't even own a homwne. i like this. i like it when we do that. laura and boebert made news this week for apparently dag a show.t ate durin ,we should have sent boebert to look for that f-35. she's great at finding junk in the dark. , whic >> boebert apologized for her behavior, which dems said was unacceptable and should only be tolerated in the oval officen th. this week, pope francis urged global to combat climate change at the clinton global initiative meetinge clinto. aif
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this from the vatican who sends black smoke into the air for wes to tell us they haven'te picked a pope yet. the little religious humor there, apparently very little. the five american hostages who were released from, iran arrived in our nation's capital this week. week they arrive d in washington, d.c., all five said they felt much safer back in iran. >> serial sales, the united states are in sharp decline. the situation is so dire. snap crackle and pop were last seen in the streets of san francisco. yeah, and no, that's not countre chocula on the groun fd. coun the army navy are failingto to meet recruiting goals because many potential recruits are disqualified meet due to obesity. on the bright side, though, the brisn to find job in broadcasting. >> go. a recent op ed discussed the impact on fathers relationns to male to the male loneliness
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epidemic. butbut the article did say thas some cases, some men will be lonely forever, men. so that one comment, as i embrace loneliness. >> taylor swift's instagram accounmbracet helped register more than 35,000 new voters. it's nice that she's still on good terms with all e her ex-boyfriends. ar >> this week, joy bejar called presidential candidate vivek ramaswamy dumb. that's like vivek ramaswamduyy e calling joy bejar hot.also it's also the latest evidence that the only reason to watch ha the view is to hear whoopi goldberg. and finally, chuck schumer hass relaxed the senate dress codeatr so john fetterman can wear whatever he wants. it's a sad day. i know. i mean, even veteran's managed jacket. a suit
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oh, god, what a frankenstein do . >> now to the news. kareen can't run, en fromt if y the immigration disaster. but if you thinkou they'veal secured the border, then you've got a serious mental disordesore as tens of thousands of illegal immigrants pour into the united states every day. states thethe white house turnsd eye and it all goes casejo to squinty one ss and a droolini lip. 10,000 people alone cross the on wednesday. it's almost as if they're being encouraged, but cringing beiho on year could barely keep it together. when asked how biden will dealn it. >> su o what do you call it?cahe bore at the white house, when 10,000 people illegally cross the border in a single day. >> so what do you call it? peter, when gop put forth a wait. >> no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't. no>>i'm answering.o, okay. we're going to be no more. no, no, no, no, no, no n, noo,,. we're moving on. you said something along the border. no, no, i trie no, id. e >> answer, peter.on. i tried to answer the question. you stopped me. let'pes go..
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wow. he tried to answer. so i guess w so ie are moving on. >> or so she had hoped.no okay, we're going to be. answer. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. we're moving on. he's trying to get his wayabout with about why these people are still coming. who's talking to panamllaanama. about the darian gap when he was alive and come in? look, these diplomatic are incredibly important. the president, let's not forget, just lase important fal right, right. 2021 2, 22 countries togetherho to talk about what's how migration is affecting the region. this is a president that has taken historic action hi an on n issue, on a system that has been broken for some time. >> oh, she's stupid. never has. th someone said less with so many words. you know, it's bad when even nthe folkews from network newsc back. cbs news hasn't shocked us like that sinceked us l rose letl his bathrobe fall open. but good thing. joe put kamalaf in charge of border security of migrants asking for directionssk her to end up walkg to antarctica. does joe, care to add anything?
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>> no, no, no. look jean-pierre is right. the border is not open and if it were, you'd be fine. because all those people are going to vote for me. i've got a lot of credibility with those people. and if you doubt you dou that, n any one of them. chicanos on the congressionae oc black caucus. all right. they like me. ifan on i could quote dr. martn luther king. la la la la la la la. >> la la la la la la bamba. that thing on your finger? >> no, no, no. all right. . yeah. we'r e all in. america is upset about this situation. it's just beyond belief. but michaes justl, it must reall drive you crazy as a homeless. >> seeessbia, all of our city services going to migrants s whilwhile you're out on the sm searching for scraps. it's horrible, greg. yeicit'ss and yes.eaki speaking forng f the homelesshoe
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populatiossn. y yeah. thanks for having me in here. yes, exactly. exac, you terribly.ibly but., but we we were. you die out therbuyou'd t e. i would. yes. and for just $5 a day,5 americ, you donate with this. >> this is wild to watch. y karine jean-pierre peter doocy fight. it's almosfight.t like like cou watching an old couple, an old you ied couple fight because you can't answer a question with a question. you know, it's like so soration what does you call it at the administration? >> what do you call it? you? what that. what the are we doing here? and i think the gop should take the blame for the whole situation. and it'sion. part of that. they should open up welcome centers at the border where we take credit for all the giveaways, all the thousands of dollarsthousa a and encourage all these new wonderful americans to vote conservative. >> yeah, i think it's a terrible idea that. oh, >> border would be shut tomorrow. it's like oh san was lae thin
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president trump. yeah yeah this thing is driven by hatred for trump. it's like biden just can't d ot to what trump did but tokaji, cgmp or whatever her namejp is, lik it's like she believes her job is not to do the job like to obstruct is that word. >> yes. okay, good. but just as a sense of entitlement, emily, that, you know, because she's the >>storic is first, she doesn't have to do the job. >> no, she does have a job. when she handehe does d in her , it was quite clear the only quality trait they look towards professional. liar. because this woman has never spoken the truth. once out forprofessi of her mo i want to put that you. i want to put uph a.p.. >> no filter on her nose. oh, my goodness. and then the truth be exposed. >> oh, that rhymes. i just pulled a gun. there you go. wow. >> gs. ntagiouedoh, thmes. it's much like my infections. oh sorry about that, todd.av i should have told you first, but then, you know, we wouldn't to g had that wild weekendt . it's a hazard of trying to get on the show. hey, you know, once a month i do what i have to do for
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the infection as well. all right, well, it's more like once every six weeks, but who's whunting these days,counti todd doesn't it feel like thisol whole thing is intentional? because no one's int actually trying to do anything? and to your point, democrats are against what's going on at the border? there are a lot of them. but nevertheless happening, g to administration is going to do what they are going to do. whn he does.f th two of the worst tellse in history. we have been clear. let me be clear when she say says we have been n clear theyth have been the exact opposite. and her latest that we heard late sheclip is when said joe biden has done historic measures, historicous o disastrous to our nation. and it's not really a joke o . our nation is in real trouble. we do no wt know what these individuals are planning to do on our country. there are countless storiecounts of chinese military age men, not families, comingfamili heret looking for a better life, but people seeping across the border, coming into
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our country and they have no idea where they are when they getn they our national secy is more and more at risk everyex day. and our country. i talked to an ex, a navy sealey ,navy seal, their never ex special forces guy, a guy who then worked for the ci ciaa and he scared the bejesus out of me. he said in the next ten years,n it's not a fox news talking point. we will not recognize this country if thiwize s continues and that's for every american. republican, democrat. nocrat. >> regardless, i told you not to talk to other men. [laughtei, i didn't realize thas part of the month long outdiseas on his show. i thought it was just the disease. ite.>> gre of clear yo this iss interesting that actually biden finally said that he's for this. it was like he'd said nothing and noing, noww it's, oh, we'ret going to take them all in. >> who is running the country? that'srunning wonderful questie i've said it several s timesain on the show. 't rea whoever is writing that notebook that she can't read from runnins g show, they have to make the font bigger because whenever
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a married couple. no, because that's just that's a not fair to married couples. he asks the question. whenever a public official asks to answer the question with a questiontion is this new term that they love to use forever? it's called gaslighting. remember was everything that was said in the other administration. is it gaslighting? lig. gaslightin >> well, they're not even they're just lighting us cause we don't have gas because we sagay, yeah, so, you know, s they're solar lighting us, but they can't even tell bad it's the progressive democrats. democrats are in a bad with these progressives and these equity hires becauseso she's an equity hire, period. and she likes to tell us she'sho a walking, walking history.is you would like you to walk outtb and be you are terrible.en i don't have a problem with a different administration runningtheir running their. but when their plan is i don't w know, what do you do? i know you are, but what ahat uu that's that's the problem is like a four year old talk. you just admit it becausebabe the obama administration didn't have these problems at the border. yeah. obump administration tnistratid they tightened, they took obama stuff, took it up a notch t
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and got to the point where wee weren't having these issues. just say we openedpoin the gated yeah, we opened the gates. we don't care. and that's it. becaus bec e what they're doing their job. he's doing historic things. mag >> when he got to say well, this the did this do this maggot did this, aren't you the same guy who shut downga whole pipeline with one swipee of your pen? you couldn't take your pen, mr. president, and say, finish the wall. movedn't take your p the nation there. bring the military over there. you could do it like there that,because but you can't because you won't. >> it's true. >> greg: i's all for a a solid, a precise to destabilize the country. that's scary to me. all right. smy welcome centers. >> we're going to work like. yes, brilliant. yes, yes. just because you can. you've found another place to sleep. does sleep make it that make i? yes. between crime,d bums and bombs, who the hell wants to patrol san francisco slums? >> i met him directly in front
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the restaurant as soon as he started talking about the guilt of these killings. he stood up straighter, got a smirk on his face. did you call or text your friend said, i need you to meet me in the parking lot. i don't feel safe. i think this is a game about which killer architect of death, the long island serial killer streaming now only on fox nation. sign up and get your first three months of fox nation for 199. are you tired of that old worn out bath or shower? now you can have a new one installed in just one day with a new limited time offer from jacuzzi bath remodel, waiving all installation costs with no interest and no payments for year. jacuzzi has been making water feel great for over five years and now you can get a gorgeous custom bath remodel at a price you can afford with no stress and no mess. i've trying to get him to remodel that bath for years. >> i called and. >> they didn't just one day and at a price we could afford every time i stepped over
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think you will do. >> i can be the windsor j. ou'r you're watching who wants to bea in the san fran pd? >> well, apparently no one in california. so san francisco pd is turning to the lone star state. that department hae s been fou holding job fairs at four texas universities to persuade young people to join their force. anand it's been a success for the job recruiters so far as they've decided to stayrs s in texas. >> who in their right mindn in texas, emily, would actually accept a job in san francisc actuallo? >> they actually hate the police. that's what i'm saying. saying.appened the defund the police chants? take those same picket signs you heldhants.picket that said a the police. take a little sharpie. cross out the d, put an r, and then you got riff r on the police to undo
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the stupidity that you created. >> congratulations, guys. yeahd th. you played yourself. sendin >> shouldn't they tires be sending social workers instea d of the police because remember that that was the social workers went ours wtw yes. go looking for them through true social worker nevers came . so dog catchers, you're up. yeah. ter] >> yeah. . how dare have the temerity, the dedicated gall to bring thtigated to texas to try to convince young men and women of lone star state to go get this go up and get a job, that you're going to get canceled from, ruin from and probably from, put in jail?e yeah. doing your job. there's not a chance in i't is going to happen. this is what and they an can't refund the any more because it's not about money for police officers anymorpolicee. spitt it's about spitting in their face, treating them like, they're the criminal going after them. they want to take away wan the
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qualified immunity, not to the politicians who can say lid whatevers they want, but police officers are in the line of fire. there is no you can not encouragfire veryragee i if they get one person i would be very worrie it.d about it it wouldo be because no one in their right mind would go into any of thesehese states that dot support the police department. and even if you do make an arrestf yo , you're going to be arrested the same guy 20 times because you're going to let hime go because handcuffs are racist. so, you know, i'm saying so. i mean , just no, absolutely no, nothing. nothing. it would it would take antratio entire change of the administration. you'd have to haven.you woul toe new days. you'd have to have new support. and then they're not going to d supthey'rtoo that. >> tara, i'm going to ask you, o you look like a timeshare. let's be honest. i am. i didn't even knowes it's kind t of an insult, but let's go with. it. got so san fran has this homeless du problem. they got drugs, they got crimegs they're down 600. officer what officers? what would be the sale 0 s pitch that would get someone to join the force? you're that you're making the sales? d hard
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i've thought long and hard about that. and i think to a certain extent to what tyra said what is the a number you know, the expression we all have our numberll havou s that number, that dollar amount that will get a textt --, i $1,000,000? well, i don't know what the number is to leave the safe confines leaf texa texas, where police officer, you're probably lauded and in 85% of the state and you don't have to pay a state income tax to the vehicl x toe streets of san francisco, where you also do have to pay state income tax vehicle line. nicole line good. that was beautiful. but then i thought a little bi t per more about and i said, the person who's going to take this job has to have goin that same mentality as somebody who enters the military, somebody who knows whos th they're going to be leaving our country for a foreign countrtelyy, which ultimately is what san francisco has become going to begoin going ino a third world situation and going to be trying to restoreore the ideals of american democracy, to that individualvidual, all in the ids of american freedom. >> so you have to have you hav o mindset literally to go to become a freakin'
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cop ink abou san francisco and think about how ridiculousw ridi is. but that's the only mindset of a person that i think is going to want to do wano th h it has to be a completely selfless person who wants to restore cities to their once, great, great, you know, greatnestness.s you so you're basically talking about. >> kilmeade yed:s, he has restored mass appeal. >> i would like him to even go to california to be a policmu . loftus you're well known by the police and the local'r kno and e local libraries where you sleep. is this a wise decision to leave decision splendor of r the streets of san pooh? pisco yeah, i just came out san of that sand and, oh, drop gold here. >> yes, yes. yes three. i don't i, i think this is all kind of offensive in a weird way. it's kind of stereotypical, you know, like san francisco's w d th like, where can we find the toughest, most ruinous to nest? you pickers, right? >> we have a lot of ground. we need people that we'r greg:e
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pickers, right? >> why did. why didn't they go >>y ? nsylvania to recruit aren't the why aren't they in connecticut? you know, is everybody. >> it looks like me, right?oks i so even the black people do right. itke greg: weird. i've seen it. it is funny. it's like almost like, you know ,they're you. >> it's amazing. you stumbled on to a good poin tmble out there. w it's like california is like we need we need to hire our help outside. >> yeah. because we you know, we don't we don't like to do it. you know, we're upper class, you know, we like we like w the fine tr, but we don't we?ouc yeah. let's get let's outsource. where can we get some dumb tough hick? yeah, exactly. well, let's go to let's go tole texat's o gs by golly, we don'n we probably don't even have to pay them very much. no, they problem. yeah. it's, it's got to be impressed. yeah exactly i. >> what money. i gave money for this for half.s how.
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>> all right. up next, climate warriors pleahl . >> turn off your ac and, hey, i just got a text from my sister. >> you remember rick, her neighbor? sure. he's the 76-year-old guyabout who still runs marathons, right? >> sadlyto. e insura >> anymore. wow. wow. so suddeersationin, are n. we're not about to have the we need life insurance conversation again. >> are we know we're havingoff o though we are getting coverage so we don't have to worry about it. conversationng. >> so you're calling about the 995 a month plan from colonial penn. i am. >> we put it off long enough. we are getting that 995 plan today. is it time for you to call the 995 plan? i'm jonathan from colonial and i'm jonathan from colonial and life insurance're age company. sometimes we just need a reminder not to take 9.95 a m n granted. if you're age 50 to 85e turn, yn guaranteed accept his whole life insurance starting at just $9.95 a month. there are no health questions,
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we've never seen that. the competition begins. an all new masked singer this wednesday on fox. and now it's time. >> what's wrong with these people? >> yeah, what's wrong with these people? and by people? we being anti-capitalist, anplwe climate change. has elites who hate you, c your mother and your dog you. all right. now, a washington post article basically claims cally cl americans areit addicted, addicted to air conditioning, and it's, quote, turnedquot into the dark future of climate change. >> the write r says, if o capitalism had sold us on the necessity of air conditioningcessity and other n innovations, might we not be so entirely dependent air conditioning today? well, i'm pretty sure "the washington post" ha? s airc ar conditioning, right? summers in dc are brutal. >> let's check in on the author of that article. l righ all right, tyrust,, whenlt they claim it's capitalism's
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fault, how do they explainw done china and communism at all they've done to contribute to climatentributeate chan? ur a no, it's our air conditioning. they don't rag. they're. they're stupid. greg yes, they are. >> tyrus. about their feelings. mm-hmm. because here's the thing. everyone likesyone liko compla n about their first world amenities, air conditioningconditio, cars, tv, the internet, troll people toths make a living. all those things, if you take them all awa by she people over there would probably get eaten by someone like me, like you wanted to live in a big city. let's take the ac out in thet i. and see what the crimes like. yeah, nothing worse. like it was cold. nobody fights when it's cold, right? because it's too cold. but you can ben the most racist dude in the world and another race is doing in the world. like i saythworld,, he's the wot white dude in most races. >> black dude. we will huddle in a snowstorm. yeah, that'se because it's bee cold. so cold weather brings
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us together to talk about the co2 and it's at zero. they no, they won't tell them what the number is, but it'snu 0.404. >> it's less as a percent. yeahmber, 2%, zero 2%. all the plant life dies. hmm. so we're two points away from losing it, and they're talking%i . it keeps going up. it keeps going up,. keeps u it's not gone anywhere. it's not moved at all. it's movede one point in the last hundred years, which means l of, you know. >> yeah, he's smart. y'all knew that. yeah. know emily, a woman wrote this article, which brings me to my theory. is this a ploy only by women who hate being called. >> oh, it's a guy. my producer goes.bout womet's got. all right. we in amelia hill made him write it is his wife made him g: write it. h it's a theor hy. a he
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>> this is a henpecked husband. yep. whose wifeusband. say he's , bye way, that wrote because womenpl always complain about being calledab like you do and blaming the entire green room when my guys, why are we in antarctica? but it's so hard to be privileged, have so much ac guys, listen, we have dictators we right now, note bl even five blocks away from here. we have bigger problems tackle than having an abundance of ac in the united states. can we pleas ae come back to earth for a minute? i know there are aliens now, but let's comehere ares no back. bigger problems to tackle. sorry, guy or girl wrote thisths article. >> you know, loftus, i was thinking whbout this. how do you get air conditioning when you're when there's no walls? like when you're wandering around you like, do you just stan dot liked people's you sta outside and you hopeho. u wa just hope when you wait. it's this is like what a
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ginormous waste of time. >> this article i read thisg thing and wanted that hunk of my lifewanted back.ge you're like, okay, so climateg change is going to kill us all. not what shoultousd we do? it's like, oh, i bet it's the air conditioning. it's, soupioning is like first of all, shut up. secosecond of all, where's yourg article on fire? >> yeah,e on right. oh, fire back here. when we invented , that's. >> we really turned a corner there. that's a great pointere. . you bet. two good points today. i usually expectpectt in in a m. because the air conditioning dope. but it's true. it's like we inventelike wd fir, which has killed millions of people for overe fo how long? couple hundred thousand years. yes. i don't know when we end thi d thissitioni and this lunatic is going. it's the air conditioner. yeah, that's such a funnngs ay, important point that i'm going to steal for the five before you do , please don't say we invented fire. we jus it learn how to remove because i got to go down
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with that ship to going downd io that. for the record, we did note invent it. we just borrowid it. fire. >> once we learned how to dotrue it, we didn't very far. that is true. that is truethat i. you i taught. i have to i have to give . e e credit he said that like you made a good point yesterday on the five where he said once you on the specifics of an issue, the left falls apart. so if you go like if you say, a do you if you have a grandmother who's in at home rest home in like a hot summer, you're going to deny her airgoiu day. that's how you win these these arguments as say they never get to the specifics of the issuficse. y ju >> they just say air conditioning, bad weather. that's the irony . y this absolutely insane article because he tieins conditioning a without an actual connection to literally all of life'se to ills. yes. and you have to read this article to believe bve it. one thing that stood out to me, he refers to his relationshi pe in with air conditioning, which makes me question whethe fr he has a wife in the first place. that's perverse.
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okay, there's not even any hole any hols in the air condit, right? >> you don't have. that's the vent, right? that is the vents. you don'at ithe vet have a rela with air conditioning? no, you're effing hot. you turn >>t on? yeah. and it is unreal. he also keep in mind you'r he, air conditioning for northern republican.s moving to the south. thateat is an actual lin in this article at this point. to your point, the left trying any argument they can in the name of climate change and they sound even more unhinged and ridiculous than ever. >> and, you knower.reg: and thae writer when he wrote this was in an air conditioned office a e 100 oh oh. i don't control that. >> g't cl it. wned but the washington post is owned by jeff bezos who owns amazon . e think of all of those vansdition with air conditioning that deliveriny t-shirt: and to somebody and a box the sizeet that table. exactly. i should have invested in cardboard in the right befof the pandemic because, i have a lot of cardboard, which
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really helpful for you on the street. >> yeai can h, i can do a tiny m i can do a split level. you give mt-shire you give me o shirt box from amazon. i'm going to build something niceniaughter] and it's going tr a great you should do a fox nationg: you series called thisd box and that's up next. will our wisdom prevail when we answer viewer mail. donald trump failed to defend our border. joe biden has no clue how to fix the problem. we need a president who understands the crisis at our border, stop treating everybody that comes in this country as an asylum seeker. treat human smugglers and drug traffickers as terrorist organizations address root. we don't need more tired ideas from leaders well past their prime. we'll hurt us spend his life defending america and stands ready to protect borders. future leaders fund is responsible for the content of this advertisement. do you struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep?
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one game. this big name saturday on fox. it all starts at ten eastern with big name kickoff. live from cincinnati friday, quarterback dillon gabriel leads the oklahoma sooners into a conference clash against big 12 newcomer the cincinnati bearcats. the best pre game. the best announcers have been biggest game oklahoma cincinnati's big even saturday on fox yeah you're watching mailing it in yeah it's fridaye, welcome to mailing it in you write i read rea it we all learn something new that we quickly forget okae y no the girl asks you all right wonderful nonfiction do we. i don't. i do. yeah, i think you do. soe. what is your favorite nove? >> tyrus. >> i'm a man. i don't really do novel. w weird. like dana reads like a boo.k of a if it is god, it's my
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favorite book was probably the animal farm by george orwell. i think that's probably the most. yeah. stic l that sticks ink my brain. w it's fiction, but now it's nonfiction. yeah, it's nonfiction now. >>ah, but. but i like to sit down and be like, hmm, yeah, i got to dono. >> i got god, my favorite work fiction is dreams of my father[e . we know what this all about. >> yeah. what is your favorit e book of fiction? >> great gatsby. oh, well, the great gatsby is 80 pages long. it's not a big book out, if you can read it pretty quick. wellt , like i read that inn re college, what was the whole. why did we all have to read the greaadt it was assigned?d th scott fitzgerald yeah, it was a signed, signedat reading. i just think people just say, you don't like to read. i don't likeit. read. rea >> i have to read so much news for the job. you thinodd: i hk with two kids, i'm going and flipping through. don't blame your children wa yoy might remember charles dickens smoking a pipe. not in this life. >> g. r read charless
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i knew i had to read. i couldn't read charles dickens. ens, thethe was too complicated. emily, what do you do? what's your what's fi sayn? tely nook of fictio >> and please don't sayot twilight. i know, definitely i buttwilighs funny, you guys are talking about assigned reading because bes didn't havedayding assigned reading, we had assigned the japanese. you remember? so unfortunately, i don't even know the last nonfiction i read. but if i were to note that thing is a nonfiction novel, i said, novel, young lady, i'm sorry if were to read it, would it be anything like realistic whatsoeverbe? escap because i'm reading to escape this world, not to be reminded of the world we live world in. o so i don't even know. like, you have to kill me outve of this question to f this. ithu what is with our panelist? no one likes to. we're pulling a press secretary. you have a lot of timelling for reading michael on the street. >> you're sitting there when you're begging. that's all we do there. . we read inside a soup can. we'r e how many how much sodiumn th is in these beans? not only do i love reading novels, i actually i actually
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wrote a novel, tender, neither stunning nor, brave, available now, then, tell me, what iswhats your favorite novel? face? my favorite novel, face. g >> i've got to go with with lord of the rings. >> really? yeah, lord of the rings and my ring andrher stunning no available now a lord of the rings for the modern man.f >> the lord of the ringsis is amazing. i'm one of those.i >> do i read iret once a year?y. i would say i'm going to pick. n i'm going to go with blood meridian. that was a great book by cormac mccarthy, the road. oh, the road start. i was readin g that on a planeg next and was so taken by it. there's the woman sitting next to me. she's likewhat a so what aread you reading? i'm like, lady, you're going have to like, shut up the whole flighthave t yeah, as i am in ts thing and asked, how is your wifbye by way, anyway? all right, jenny.ri he askght,s, what was the crazit i'ing that ever happened to you
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when you were on vacation? >> i'm going to go back to you g because i am sure.hael >> what do you know what a vacation is it when people lif y . >> a vacation? yeah. your dog.ur dog t thinks he's as on a vacation. i, i tried to buy $5 worth beach of weed on a beach in jamaica and wasn't wearing any clothes, so my plan was to swim out, you know, and buy a little weed. and then, likey it, you know,th and then just hide it on the way back. >> but that the the dollarve th is strong in jamaica. gave this kid five bucks. >> he gave me like a bale of marijuana. so now i'm naked, i'm swimming back and i'm trying to keep this stuff dry and like, dog p paddling. so that was that was awkward. it was like i waaddling.hat wasn of liberty on the beach. >> yeah. look at what i have boughtach..d and you are also naked. yeah. yeah. wow. that's a sightso naked. to. >> no, you feel great, i think. do you thinkel: no y?
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a beach is going to be awkward. then you see the people who are already out there and you're like, i'm a piec you se e of. yeah, i.ou know, >> when i was a teenager in san mateo, we snuck it to aach in nude beach in santa cruz got caught and they forced us to clean the whole beac s and h. o >> talk about humiliating naked. yeah. you go down by a bunch of angry, lonely men. >> yes. wait. you had to be naked in the beach. that's hilarious. yes. is that wild? all righe na clean beacht, enou, emily. >> i'm very good at followingem instructionsily?. t. not so. when i went swimming in turk s and caicos one time. super . there is instructionurkss. hey, guys, swim literally anywhere but stay outside of these ropes. s st the middle of the ocean. and i, for some reason interpreted that as stay withind the rope. so i swim out there and i hear sirens tinside, but i'm under w. but i kind of hear them in ther air. and i'm kind of used to it becauswater, e. i wa i go to tel aviv and there's our resort, so i decide to come up for air t and like, oh my go, wow, look at all these people watching.
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we snorkelr ai i was in a shark nursery because that was why there was no pop up. i'm here so clearly all issfwhee well. does that sound so cute? a shark nurserl so doey, right? oh, that's mine right there. yeah, that is the littlethat's c and the tiny white. >> i call him bitey, baby. todd. yes. yeah. a shark nursery. abouttodd, what about you?to it's going to be tough to beatug baby shark over therh sharke. watcally hope my wife is not watching this, but we were on vacation one time. she got bit t by a jellyfish. i think you all know what you do when you pick a jellyfish. tyrus, i want a car wash there. >> but you weren't dumb enoughd just to try to on a right. you in the cup and then put it on her. or are you a husband and just on tyrus? >> okay. all righa t. this. this should be the excusecuse t that they used in the steele
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dossier. yeah. yeah. that donald trump thoughhe steet the were stung by jellyfish on their. this is american. the jellyfish bites were so numerous he just got to savor. all right, last sentence. i so i feel bad for this one. i've apologized to the dude sodu i wa timesde. i was staying at an islandwheren somewhere on vacation. they assigned you a butler? apparently. yeah. i just some thought some dude he walked in is like, good morning. >> i was like, od h, oh, oh, yeah. >> he was out fo yr a minuteeah woke him up, tried to tip. re ko did you on him?ut no. when they're knocked out, you don' t, why would you leave evidence? i'm. i'm black. i'm trying to get away. reg: todtodd, i remind you the n to our problems is on them. but this is what homeless loftus told me about this. homeless.? loftis, your hobo name. the homeless hoe b lived in a bt
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of weed. all righbaskett up next, a golfr goes nuts and shows he's a putz . >> police have arrested 31-year-old jeffrey. >> he's being called the cannibal killer. to hear jeffrey dahmer have a congress session with his father is brand new all the time but i should have been called. i never was. absolutely nothing is too great to be forgiven. the bodies are literally piling . >> this is what evil looks like. someone loved help the same way that someone loved his victims we've been doing lately. >> sign up and get your first three months of fox nation for 199. >> is hair loss impacting your life? never in a million years to ever think that something like that could happen to laser therapy might be just what you need. >> with our latest innovation of smart caps that let you track your progress with the capillaries app, you can start to see improvement in your hair in just three months of consistent use. >> once i actually saw side by side photos of my before and after, it was incredible
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hosting this show. >> snake oil series premiere wednesday. the masked singer on fox. the budget battle. the border crisis. >> what is the position of thew
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and think you will do. >> i can be the winds of change a story in five words golfer erupts over stolen ball. >> roll it, bro.
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you took your ball off. i'm not going to fight you over me. and money for a golf walter wal is your fancy fixed voice wal that gets off the courtet. walter? walter. oh, here we go. you see aaron?e >> oh, it's been a heavy fix. you want a test, guy? get it. >> oh, you card. gol have you ever gotten so mad on the golf course you've ripped off shirt and showed off your hairy chest? >> i mean, every time the best . of that clip is not the ripping off its hands down when he calls somebody walter and they're like, walter. >> yeaofh. d >> so i have a theory that hee you know, when you're like, let's say you take i call it the gutfeld subwaya strategy. when someone is acting crazy in the subway, you know, in stinking of , you your pants. that way they'll stay awayu po.l >> you he was trying to over escalate. he trying to tire sure he was trying to over escalate orderdea
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to de-escalate. right. what do you thin. subwt, rk or just get off the subway? >> no, i pulled a cord. this guy's. , i' >> it was just.f an no, it was.ff get it? listen, we we're wensie haveve a lot of things come up. we i'm more of a i'm of an exacy offensive guy. and you're more defensive guy. yes, exactly. curl up in the ball, enjoy yourself, and i'll rlp bal takeyrus: my temper. it works. hey, hey, heit wory. fighter flight. yeah. natural responses, no judgment ral . here. know. you know, as a retiredin wrestler, i love this, but we're missing that. he he did for display, right? he did the thing, and he gave him to show the show. >> he gave him the show. ad that's when a man's doing this. he's ready to go like. but th go.bue. >> they were all talking. yeah, they called him karen. so he fired hin --d and called m walter. and the guy was offended that he called him walter. but yo waltand u. l? and they were like, he can't afford the ball. you can't. so he's like, let's let's go.
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time likt' do this. and what do they do? they drove away. they had numbers?they dro. they had at least two high pitched talking men driving. chedone woman who was leading the pack with the insults and they won. thisinstilts he is a huge victo >> yeah, they drove away and he was like, oh, i finally got to myself. >> the, you know, emily, this has guy has an extensive criminal past and he was charged foror intent to riot and once threatened his neighbor in the street wearing stree his underw >> you're single, right? yes. right. yeah. listen, i guess it again. funny >> what's so funny? i can't see a gucay who thinksnn the hulk. i think that green shirt must have inspired him that day or somethinthd hig. is, if but my theory is, ife you're going to go out and show off your body, you hit the gym onfew times, man. oh, my god, that's embarrassing. if it was rib, that be one. why? >> missing the point? no, the whole thing could
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be display, remember? gutfeld it's. s th oh, wait, he can't fight. he stripped down to his underwear to avoid an with it. because i'm telling you right now, if a gurwear toy said, leto me a little, we're going to fight. i'm like, where am i breaking him in half? and he strip i sas down to his and underwear. >> he women go out, cycle them . i get what you're saying. yeah. you know, loftiswins. , some are som saying it's roid rage, meaning hemorrhoids from sitting in the golfe sait's might be it.. th or he's that guy who like used to be really big. and now he thinks he's like, olh i'm going to take off my shirtto to fight. i'm going to yell at my neighbors in my underwear where i'm going to pose. >> he's a crazy person. he is a craz y which means he probably will get a job as an anchor at cnn. >> don't go away. we'll be right back. he won. i served in the army for 11 years and deployed overseas three times. i understand the price of freedom and i'm aware of the threats we face from our foreign adversaries. countries like china, russia
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sleaze help expose who is lie you are a cop. you can detect snake oil. how much would you risk? they get excited and like to spend your money. go big or go home. the con is on let's play snake oil series premiere wednesday after the masked singer on fox. >> so here's what you do guy gets a sack you go thank you very much what else? >> how about sack of all trades ? >> boom sack like a sack aronian cheese i want to sack roni and cheese. starving. i'm too for this shirt. well, you could say that. >> i would say sacrilegious, but that be sacrilegious. okay. you ready for this one? sack any sack, don't sack back. >> this was a really bad idea. sack of potatoes. oh, how about suffering sack attack like that one? >> thanks to time, pyro. awesome. michael out. this time our studio audience rushes and everything else does that. i'm greg gutfeld, and i love
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