nothing about romania, russia, china, kazakhstan, ukraine,. >> not yet. >> and five years they haven't found that part. >> not yet. >> great to see you. unfortunately that's all the time we have left this evening, programming notes, we have a live audience shows in new york city tomorrow and thursday night , tickets are free go to hannity.com. it is a rowdy crowd, we throw footballs we have fun, we yell, we scream, we would do whatever we want. and the meantime, thank you for joining us, thank you for makin the show possible. set your dvr so you never miss an episode in the meantime let not your heart be troubled, gre gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face. life is great. ♪

[cheers and applause] yes, keep going. you can do better than that! alright, okay, okay. you can stay. happ congressman bowman has had himself a week and it's only tuesday per eight on saturday he pulled a fire alarm at the capitol and claimed he didn't know what fire alarm does . i would be the last person to accuse him of knowing things, but the words of fire and alarm they don't leave a lot of room for confusion. he said he thought it opened th door. be happy you don't fly with him. he would think the handle to th emergency exit flushes the toilet parade than they put out talking points, who were all happy to fall in line like outside hunters hotel room.

this is what he wanted him to say, i believe congressman bowman when he says this was an accident republicans need to focus their energy on the numbers of their party before anything else. we will talk about raising the alarm. in case of fire, scream nazi. that's rich coming from a grea saying that it stands for national workers party. talk about the pot calling the kettle hitler. what's good for the goose is good for the goose step or. i thought that was klepper clever. it's the same old story if you persuade everyone your opposition is hitler, that excuses you from your own bad behavior. they did this with trump. you called him the second comin of adolph, so why wouldn't you reagan election not to do that would make you sympathizer a sympathizer. apparently he didn't know according to jamaal bowman.

is there no limit to the things that he doesn't know? don't ask jamaal, he doesn't know. he just put out another statement saying i just became aware that in our messaging guidance there was an appropriate inappropriate use of the wordnazi without my consent. it's to refer to members of the party and neo-nazis. he doesn't know what a fire alarm does, his staff doesn't know and none of them know the first rule of holes, stop digging. at this point this guy will wak up tomorrow in china. of course the media build him out. by monday too of the big three network news news programs had moved on and didn't cover it. only cps did, but even they framed it as republican accusations and then repeated bowman's excuses for. >> some are calling for the ouster and prosecution of new york democrat jamaal bowman, a

former middle school principal who they accused of pulling ann house office building fire alar to delay the proceeding straigh he apologized and said he thought the alarm would open a locked door way as he rushed to votes for it. >> after defending bowman he quickly moved on. is not easy for him for they have to stop every six or 8 fee to grease the walls. even though the media has moved on, surely an event like this i right for the picking from comedy shows. he think the network late-night talk shows that returned last night might have something too say about a democratic congressman emitting a federal crime on camera in the capital. no, it was mostly trump jokes with a few lauren bogert jokes thrown in. it wasn't material ripped from the headlines of the headlines were from two weeks ago. jimmy fallon avoided political humor altogether and seth meyer did variations of trump socks,

that's no surprise if liberal compliance was our currency, seth meyers would be deaf bezos. for colbert, it is a couple of taylor swift jones. john kennedy jokes, overt, but you get it. the writers are back, and so ou there restrictions. joke about this, don't joke about that. and get nostalgic for the days when the hosts had balls. this isn't just about bowman he's a product of his environment, the mainstream media will give them more cover than what one of woody's muumuus . that's why bowman can pull a fire alarm in front of a surveillance camera, lie about it and then lie about what he lied about, that's why joe bide can claim he's never done and immoral or unethical thing in his life great the guy is as crooked as a painting owned by stevie wonder. that's why his son can bring cocaine into the white house that's why they can treat ukraine like an intern.

that's why bob menendez can swi around and of big pile of gold like scrooge mcduck. they know their comrades in the media care about nothing, but power. that's not to say republicans aren't fair game. trump is fair game. we should all mock and criticiz people in power and lecture mocking and criticizing me. i will stick a team of hungry lawyers on you faster than you can say jacoby and myers. but when you only go after one side of the aisle, you give the game away, you not speaking truth too power, you not even doing comedy, you are just another political activist with the house band. that's why don't care what they say i'm one-sided. this is one show against every other late-night show in america . liberals want to hear other views until they discover that there are other views.

or did i say that, maybe i said that. it's hard to member since i started putting nyquil in my protein shakes. all make a deal with those othe guys, i'll start slamming republicans when they start slamming democrats. the minute they do that, someone's going to pull a fire alarm. let's welcome tonight's guests. when one of his audience member buys a gone, it's usually for appendicitis, comedian joe mach page she packs heat while dispensing red meat. fox news contributor katie pavlich. he looks and sounds like a gram of weed, comedian and founder o western razor company, david angelo. and come out like a proctologis office, old men wait hours to see her. fox news contributor kat timpf.

>> joe, how people ever tried t pull up fire alarm during one o your shows? could get not my standup shows, when i am stripping, yes becaus things get pretty hot. i'll tell you what though, greg. i think jamaal bowman could pul the fire alarm again and they would defend him again. that is just the sweet liberal privilege i wish we talk show host writers all had on the conservative side because these talkshows, they aren't funny, they get low ratings, but they get paid millions of dollars an on the flipside of that, my id card doesn't even work and this studio. i have to let security in, and every day i'm like is this it, is this the day were you threatened to kill me, if they jokes don't go well on friday, that someone is going to pounce? >> joe, let's be frank, we eliminated your position two years ago. none of us really wanted to hur your feelings, but you're a

crowd favorite, so we let you come in. >> weil, kevin mccarthy gets fired quicker than i do. >> what an excellent segue to katie, who would've thought kevin mccarthy we get canned before bowman? it's not like he pulled the fir alarm. >> he should have today. gotta stop the votes. definitely don't have the votes to stay here, now i'm leaving. i think this is a lot about education in america this guy was a school principal yet claims he didn't know how to read fire alarm and was confused ? i think that says a lot about the state of education and america, the kids they can't read all over the country. >> it is frightening and nobody is pointing out that he threw his staff under the bus because he had also, i think he compare people to nazi before. >> he compared a lot of conservatives to nazis and only

flight in its precise fashion. which again he doesn't know the state of a kitschy case in in america people like this runnin the show, kids are not doing well. >> david, you use to write joke and now you're sitting on a small fortune from your western razor company you look very comfortable. >> thank you. >> yes. what is your feeling, why is it you wrote for the shows, why won't they? it seems like this fire alarm joke is perfect fodder. >> you know why, i don't know, why does anybody do anything. it was donald sutherland, right? to get anybody who wears one of those sweaters brit. >> i brought this at nordstrom's , it was actually cheaper to spend the winter in barbados. he pulls the firearm, in congress when you pull the fire

alarm it's actually just bernie sanders running around yelling fire, there's a fire. that's just how it's wired. is that funny? see, that's where what we don't do them. i don't know, is it a funny joke ? >> i thought it was cute. >> i always go to bernie sanders . you can't fill with him. >> what is interesting is his name is bernie and you made a fire alarm joke. but it's an old question that bears repeating if you were ove republican this would be front page news. >> if you were a republican you'd be in jail. i don't know what happened you can't say nazi anymore, that's the real news. i didn't know they were paying hundred biden to, but whatever. >> they were saluted in the canadian parliament,. >> is just a 96 -year-old in argentina i bought one of your

watercolors. is that a german accent? >> no, it wasn't perky i apologize to the people of germany. >> you are a nazi apologist. okay, finish this up. why can't the media just preten to be fair? like imagine this happened to a republican and they act that wa with a democrat. >> i thought the funniest part of the press release was when h said accidental fire alarm. i don't like that. i feel like he's telling his buddies, i'm your friend, be loyal to me, and i don't get partisan loyalty, but i'm a ver loyal friend as you know. but if you mess up, you got to at least made it to your friend first. i messed up, still have my back though. accidental fire alarm, it's lik no, it can be hard to make it wrong sometimes, but not in thi

case when all you need to admit is i know what a fire alarm is. and nobody actually thinks he doesn't know what a fire alarm does. and if he they do it's almost meaner. >> it's almost as though he wants people to believe he's stupid rather than just a liar. >> he could probably convince the media he doesn't know what fire alarm is. they would probably believe him not republican, but him. they'd saved heat ignore the huge sign on the door. you say it all the time i'm sorry i made an impulsive decision. >> you know what, if the media believes he didn't know what a fire alarm is, isn't that a little bit racist? it's a little bit racist. talk about low expectations, right? not going near that, are you? >> i'm not going near that. >> just smiled. smile you beast.

why he's not on the bachelor on never know. up next, criminals prevail as l mixes cash bail. >> if you'd be in the new york area and would like tickets to see gutfeld, click on the link to join our studio audience.

>> when you want to keep them a bay, but it just won't go away, it must be time for if we can't beat them, join them. >> as the beat our asses let's put on rose-colored glasses. no matter how much we complain about crime, our logicians.

>> carjacked at gunpoint. he got his car back a few hours later, but thieves had stolen his sushi out of it, which is another crime that will go unchallenged. at last check they were still looking for the purpose, it could be easy, my guess is it i the guy they didn't charge before. carjackings have increased more than 100 percent since 2022 which means fewer people might be driving with fewer cars on the road that's her so carjackers are climate change heroes. each person they kill is one less carbon thumbprint. in la a new zero bail policy fo nonviolent offenders is in effect. of course this will only incentivize more theft like the smash and grab attacks you see every day. why shouldn't mercedes adopt cashless bail? thanks of the advantages of

having criminals among us as of those two prisons, for one, consider the calories you burn running for them. you get in some great cardio an get home faster from work. the constant fear increases you heart rate so you get an aerobi workout just riding the train. in portland they told them to only call 911 in a life and death emergency or crime in progress. no more casual calls to 9112 report hear maiming sprayed i have to agree with it. fewer 911 calls means time for first responders to undergo diversity and equity training. that way they can work for your pronouns instead of your address . really nothing worse than finding ms. gender on a wanted poster. finally that new york professor who threatened a reporter with machete has avoided jail time rate rodriguez will have to

undergo between six and 12 months of behavioral modification counseling which i great and his because it will help her at her new job at benihana. katie, i decided if you can't beat them, join them because we sit here at fox and we talk about crime all the time and it's like the other side of the coin, the democrats choose to defend criminals because they can't be seen to agree with us, so what if we decide to be pro- crime? >> a think we should, we should start committing crimes fraid you can have that sweater for free. you just walk into nordstrom an take it home. >> you're a sucker. >> we should all do the thing together. go in and steal a bunch of stuf and leave. the dc thing especially, as washington, d.c. is the nation' capital, if you want to live in california la, or new york or whatever, fine, but this is a place that belongs to all americans which was great when it was 2020 and they brought th

national guard in to stop the rioting and burning of the city but they continue to defend criminals like they have a diagram. they look at what is imposed, s you can't agree with trump or republicans, violent crimes, those things can't make so it stays the same so it's worse to identify on behalf of law and order than it would be to just lock up these guys who are now carjacking democrats in washington, dc. it's a weird choice for a. >> even when it comes to their house, they're defiant about it because there's too much of a sunk cost in hating republicans and trump, let me guess, david, you're not that bothered by thi issue, it's just crime. >> you know, i haven't been paying attention. you're right, the crime thing, why is it criminals are such a powerful voting block now.

like people are bending over backwards to help criminals, i've never asked for anything from the government and then th government because they're sitting around, hey we've got t do something, let's make murder and misdemeanor. who was asking for that? i think what we've got to do is just try to at least teach thes people in the streets, whoever, the criminals, give the marksmanship classes. you hear too much about the bystanders. >> interesting point. >> teach them how to shoot and at least they will hit the person they are trying to kill. >> you are a man of solutions. that is the worst idea i've eve heard. somehow i thank you just came u with that on the spot. >> you would be surprised how little prep when into that. >> i am not surprised at all. i'm here with stacks of paper and he works him walks in with

cardigan and as half-asleep. kat, of all the things we've mentioned, which one strikes your fancy or outrage? >> so what is behavioral modification counseling? isn't that just therapy? >> yes. >> that's what i go. like you know, we could do better. >> what would it be? don't waste machete's. >> that's what therapy is as ho to modify your behavior. going back to your brilliant point, david, who were asking for criminal justice reform, i were one of those people. nonviolent drug crimes, people going to jail for that, there were people expressing that so dc is like okay, so what you're saying is the jury is still out on the carjacking debate. know, nobody was saying that. they are bobbling the whole thing for everyone to write i think we can all agree that carjacking is not good.

>> it's we are how it was predicted that that kind of reformation or whatever would bleed into other areas. no, it's just nonviolent drug offenders, it's people who smok pot. >> it should. >> it's a slippery slope. you've got joint. not thinking before he speaking. david into live. >> have you ever called mind when when when you are dying on stage? >> no, there is no forms up there. it's not the crime, everyone, it's our outlook on the crime. for instance, all these murders make me appreciate all the time i spend with my loved ones because you never know when they're going to get shot in th head. >> you know i actually think about that.

i do think about that. i think about,--if somebody i love is out, i hope they get home safely because. >> you do not. >> yes i do. >> you do not think about anybody at all. >> i'm thinking about my dog right now. >> that i believe. >> your dog is a high target. >> he's her frenchy, people stare at him looking him up and down like a piece of meat. you were kidding, but i agree. >> no, i love the important 911 aspect because it set a crime i progress or a death is imminent so if i called them up and said i got stabbed in the arm in they're like stabbed in the arm past tense? they're like we're going to sen police over to arrest you for calling 911. >> incredible, how is it so expensive in the cities, all th crime in portland they don't

have police, everyone is runnin wild in a one bedroom is like $800,000 freight how much do these criminals make? >> that's a great point again from david angelo. you are going. >> you're own show on fox i jus feel it. >> i appreciate it. your letter campaign has worked. up next, she demands hotels remodel so the plus sized can wobble. across nearly 160 markets. ♪ we're not a startup, but our innovation labs use new technologies to help keep your information secure. ♪ we're not architects, but we help build stronger communities. ♪ we're not just any bank. we are citi. ♪ my most important kitchen tool? my brain.

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♪ >> is this even real? sponsored by metric how numerou placement sheets brickey effect activist latest fight, america' hallways our two types. plus size influence named jailing cheney says hall hotels need to make there always bigger . it's one of many recommendation she posted to a bill to improve

accessibility. watch. >> i'm on a mission to revolutionize the travel industry and make it a more accommodating place forever where. sturdy wire ties. that's with make elevators in the hallway spacious. offer adjustable handle such showerheads and raised toilet seats for added accessibility. provide size inclusive backgrounds. clear and accurate on hotel websites. >> i like all of that and i'm not fat. it appears that while it's offensive to expect her to change her lifestyle, it's imperative that all of us chang hours. has it worked? so far the only place to accommodate her is he world. kat, kat, you have a weight problem, we've been talking about it. >> i knew you were going to go

to me first-rate i am definitel the person the overweight community wants to hear from th most. >> i think the overweight community would be disgusted by this and i think i speak for them, if you times a year i'm overweight. she would find it offensive if people told her to lose weight, but she's perfectly fine to hav an entire society change for her . >> but you seem to not understand that. you seem to think of the most important because the way my favorite, she said just widen the hallways. no, here's the thing, hallways are attached to ceilings and floors. you can't widen them, at least without causing mass casualty event. you that's true. you actually have to widen the building. and acting unit too make some simple accommodations police demolish the building and please, rebuild it. >> she thinks to enlarge a building is as easy as eating and eating and enlarging yourself redkey there's plenty

of things i would like like all clothing to have sleeves becaus my arms are very like is she okay looking and sometimes i still like the outfit and i jus go for it and then the out arms are out there, i'm not gonna demand all have sleeves just because my arms are disgusting. to get this is a great point, joe. i am basically agoura phobic i have it and i'm a person of small stature, shouldn't i demand smaller rooms and narrow aware hallways too make me feel better, joe? >> no, greg because that would be entitlement and it made me think it one point in the past she was thin and beautiful to have such an entitled personality like that, but i also read some other one-liners i think you will enjoy. gather around. i'm guessing comfort suites isn't her favorite hotel,

surprisingly, she didn't mentio increasing the size of the fitness center. let's stop there. >> sometimes it's just a relief to have a meeting prepare. >> that's not fair he wrote it in advance. that's not fair. >> david, where you stand on this? this is not about obese people, this is about somebody who feel entitled that society should change for her. >> when i talk about hotels, item number one, breakfast, can we get it past 7:30 a.m.? >> she didn't even mention that. it's like you're on vacation you're having the time your lif and it's like oh you have to ge up and be down here between fiv and 7:00 a.m. if you want a box of frosted

flakes. i mean what about my rights? i'm out all night, i need to wake up at the crack of noon an go get a continental. >> do you know what else bother me? check income at 1:00 p.m. but checkout is 11? we lose two hours on that trade-off. >> exactly. you don't even get 24 hours at your hotel stay. take it you should get a refund. >> have to call for a late chec out and then they act like you're doing them a favor. >> what we have to do is find these criminals and have them figure out how we can steal hotel rooms. >> i know how to do that, you just cross the border. you just cross the border. >> there's your answer. everything's all worked out. >> she's criticizing all these industries, what do you think i next on her list? this could apply to every building on earth. >> she better never go to europ because they don't even give skinny people of shower door or

air conditioning or water, so just don't go there, but honestly, half the country is overweight and obese or maybe i is better business model to start building these. there is a market for it. >> the obesity numbers are very interesting because to give their very large. but their deceptive government like when you look at bmi, everybody's obese compared to the bmi what is it called, body mass index fred. >> don't look at that, just go to the county fair. >> i counted obese is because o how heavy my muscles are. can we make more one more point about the continental breakfast usually they only have a three hour range, which makes it hard to go twice. >> and what is so continental about it? what's up with that. what's up with the continental, i don't get it? >> so silent. >> i don't know, you're right. what is a continent?

you go there, there is no continent. >> there is no reference to pla tik tok's are anything. >> what's the different between a continental and an american breakfast? >> american breakfast you have eggs, continental you might not have eggs. >> you know we should do a fox nation special on continental breakfast hosted by kat timpf. we have to move on, coming up i local news, kittens, drivers, and emus. yrizi. ♪ things are looking up ♪ ♪ i've got symptom relief ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ feel significant symptom relief with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements at 4 weeks. skyrizi is the first and only il-23 inhibitor for crohn's that can deliver both clinical remission and endoscopic improvement. the majority of people on skyrizi

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>> coast-to-coast with stories that matter most. you're watching local news with winner of the first nobel prize for best cheeks chet van jensen and now, here is chet. >> thank you, thank you, thank you. it is local news were each gues

has to share a story with wherever there from and then i vote on the winner and that person gets to do this. chet van jensen has been stripped of his nobel prize for the best butt weeks. disgusted onlookers we're apparently so unimpressed they refused to catch him when he dove into the crowd. he survived, but doctors say he will never be able to have children. we will keep you updated on the story as we learn more, now bac to gutfeld. >> another tough break for chet. i'm going to go to you first, david, for local news break i hope have something interested and prepared for a. >> i prepared great for this. this is a story out of my hometown. roll the tape. you guys don't have the tape?

i spent all day on this tape. door-, a driver for door-got stuck in a swamp delivering dunkin' donuts. can you believe it? to be fair, this isn't massachusetts, so the driver probably was drunk. >> you can't say that, he might sue you. >> i said probably. >> allegedly. >> was at ted kennedy? >> ted kennedy, know i should have gone that route. why did he do this? was it because he was following an apt? >> he was following a gps. this was all in my tape. he was following gps and it led him into a swamp. and then the dunkin' donuts was

not delivered a mets how they found was because the customer called 911 because in massachusetts if you're duncan is late, he said officer, i'm missing a crawler. guys, can you give me a little bit? you don't have to do that. all right, katie. >> all right, a woman in mesa arizona is distraught after her pet emu escaped, which it shouldn't escape because they'r not nice to people that aren't there owners, but the maricopa county sheriff's office tried t wrangle it with the lasso and i ended up dying. so we should maybe defund the police after they murdered this beautiful animal who she says she is going to miss snuggling

and she says that they don't know anything about how to wrangle and emu committee could put a rope around its net nick and expected to survive. >> talk about a downer. that would never make a one mor thing on the five brickey probably not, but he had good hair. >> i didn't know you could cuddle in emu,. >> you can't smell emu without me and you. i save that one, didn't i. hugh all got a chuckle out of that one. >> you didn't find that funny? i thought it was pretty good. and then there's joke about joe what are your thoughts? >> some good news. they accounted the homeowner an left, and then the homeowner submitted this sketch to the police and the police immediately issued a warrant after recognizing him as the lead singer of hot after seeing

him decades earlier in the take on meat video. authorities warn he's going to and then travel through walls t go back and forth between his one-dimensional world. >> that's a pretty good drawing for a description. it looks like everybody i have met at a used record store. you know, that grand funk railroad is an underrated railroad. while, these guys don't care. david, maybe you're right. truly. all right, kat, close it out. >> detroit. a cat in detroit was pregnant. now she's not because she gave birth. what happens is she has these kittens that are now at used

bookstore in detroit for some reason called detroit special used books and you can go play with the kittens and adopt them and i could not recommend the love of a feral cat more i'm sure part of that is because i' 34 years old and childless so m maternal instinct has been misplaced, but i'm sure it's part of it because they're fera and lonely and of course becaus i'm doing my live shows in detroit this week and i was lik they throwing a competing book event, but it will be over by m show. >> our there's tickets still available? >> there are at the real kat timpf.com. look at now it's going to be so much fun. >> what are the dates for that show? >> october 7th and 8th, 1st go to the bookstore and get a cap. and then you come see this kat that is not pregnant. >> yet, anyway. >> that's an add-on. just kidding, please don't get

me pregnant. up next woman filed a suit over a wedgy dispute. to duckduckgo on all your devie

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>> a story in five words. >> a story in five words.

disney waterslide wedgy lawsuit. doesn't that sound great? cat, i'm going to you first on this. a woman, a female that is is suing disney for more than $50,000 alleging a severe wedgy injury after going down the humongous back in 2019. the park should have known of the risk, especially for women. i didn't know there was a separate risk factor for men an women when it comes to water slides and wedgies. were you aware of this? >> it's pretty obvious. i want to take the whole injury part out of the story and say the line in there that bothered me the most was she was there t celebrate her 30th birthday. and i said this is someone who through her own funeral for her 30th birthday, going to disney

is weird. >> for your 30th birthday. i made my father gave me at eulogy and i think this is strange. >> can't catch a break, david, what is up with disney? >> walt disney is spinning in his freezer. getting wedgies on the rides, that's why mickey's voice is so high. >> it is true, disney isn't catching a break they're gettin in trouble over bambi, they might edit the ending of bambi because it triggers too much pain. >> oh, the mom will come back? >> i don't know. i just figured you might know something, but again, i have failed. >> i didn't have a good bit prepared off-the-cuff on the bm

ending. >> katie, get this, our show, w actually reached out to disney, we never reach out to anybody because we're lazy. >> did they respond? >> no response, it happened in 2019, that's like four years ago . >> i'm and with kat in the fact that the warning should say for children only adults. but given all the weird sex offender. i thought that was just part of the wedgy brickey they always i a few disney workers brickey ge there is no more than a few. i guess you know, these go to where there is honey. i don't know what that means brickey get that's also, the even make any? >> you're not supposed to think too hard about this. >> i honestly did not. they do make honey, you are correct. joe, did this wedgy story remin

you of high school? >> honestly, it's more of a combination wedgy swirly kind o thing. i read that the husband is also suing for loss of consortium which means which i think means that you can suit a business fo not being able to have sex which means i'm going to be a billionaire. >> on on that note, don't go away, we'll be right back.

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we are out of time. things to joe machi, kat timpf, my name is greg gutfeld and i love you, america. [cheers and applause] >> good evening i'm trace gallagher it's 11:00 p.m. on th east coast, 8: