the reasons she thinks she was. they are obviously a national laughing stock but maybe they get an endorsement from a hot sheets motel or something. i don't know. >> laura: at this point, i mean, she's trying to be the next stacey abrams, i guess. but it's not clear what stacey abrams -- what is she up to now? the next on the victim. >> she was clearly doing that. i love that she kept pivoting to protecting democracy. apparently democracy is her pet name. when they are in the sack. that's the only thing -- how was any of this protecting democracy unless that's her stripper name. anyway -- >> laura: protected the democracy in a lot of vacation spots around the caribbean and so forth, jimmy. we'll see you on the road march 1 in idaho. don't forget to catch jimmy's show. up next, jesse. >> jesse: welcome to jesse watters primetime. tonight -- >> i'm not on trial no meter how

hard you try to put me on trial. >> fanny and the lover boy in the hotseat. the jump georgia case falls apart. >> they spied on my campaign. they spied on my campaign. >> there is no real evidence of that. >> of course there is. it's all over the place. >> obama and the cia caught cooking the books. brand-new bombshells. >> psychopaths, there is no discussion about the delusion and the perversion of white -- >> happy dei thursday. plus -- "pursuit oh happy valen. >> jesse: moerry christmas.

today we were given a gift. a gift we didn't expect but that we deserved. the woman responsible for donald trump's mug shot appeared in the courtroom for a hearing about whether she should be disqualified. fulton county district attorney fanni willis who is charging trump with election interference hired her lover to prosecute the case, paid him hundreds of dollars of dollars which he used to take her on romantic vacations and didn't disclose the relationship to anyone and didn't report any of the gifts he gave her at all. when fanny and her lover nathan were caught, they both lied to the court about whether the relationship started. saying they started sleeping together after she hired him. and also claimed fanny paid wade back for all of the trips but right at the hearing began the defense blew up. an eyewitness, fanny's long-time friend and employee testified under oath that she saw fanny and wade going at it. >> did you observe them do

things that are common among people having a romantic relationship? >> yes. >> such as -- can you give us an example? >> hugging, kissing. >> all before november 1 of 2021, correct? >> yes. >> jesse: that alone is grounds for fanny's qualification and destroys the trump case for at least two years. so the lie didn't even last until lunch but as the hearing went on we witnessed a hilarious display of some of the most preposterous behavior in fullerton county. fanny boy took the stand and immediately got alzheimer's. >> did you go to a cabin with ms. willis ever? >> ever? >> ever. [long pause]

>> no. >> you have never gone to a cabin? >> no. >> jesse: so lover boy got off to a slow start and then he admitted he was going over to fanny's condo all the time before she hired him but not for sex. for documents. >> isn't it true that you would go to ms. willis's house in south fulton county occasionally? >> i have never gone to her house in south fulton county. >> you've never gone to her house? >> i have never seen her house. >> you've never gone to a condo with ms. willis? >> that's different. i have gone to a condo in hapeville. >> would you have been there as you indicated for many reasons, right? >> yes, she resided there. went to visit her.

maybe went to talk about a document that i received >> you would go to the condo and talk about a document that you received? >> absolutely. >> jesse: were any of the other attorneys visiting fanny's c condo, reviewing documents? >> no, after paying the money to prosecute trump, they traveled the world together. how did they pay for it he put it on his corporate card but don't worry, fanny paid him back, they say in more ways than one. their story is, fanny reimbursed her lover with cash. >> you said in the affidavit that you roughly shared travel, though, correct? >> yes, ma'am. >> okay. so this sharing travel, you're saying she reimbursed you? >> she did. >> where did you deposit the money she reimbursed you? >> it was cash. she didn't give me any checks. >> so all of the vacation that

she took she paid you cash for? >> yes, ma'am. >> and you purchased all of these vacations on your business credit card, correct? >> yes, ma'am. >> jesse: cash. how convenient. now, i've met a lot of businessmen over the course of my career and i have never encountered anybody who puts all of their romantic vacations on their corporate card and has their boss who they are sleeping with paid back in cash and then deduct it as a business expense on their taxes. but wade is a different breed. he says his law practice is mostly a cash business. >> she was very emphatic and adamant about this independent strongwoman thing, so she paid her own way. >> do you know the source of the cash? >> just out of her pocketbook. >> you don't know where she obtained the cash? >> i didn't ask her. >> and the whole time that she was paying you in cash, you never said, hey, why do you have

this amount of cash? >> in my practice, people come into my law firm all the time with cash. i never question where they got it. >> jesse: so the lawyer who is allegedly saving democracy by prosecuting a former president, an unprecedented case in the history of the united states, is a personal injury attorney who runs a law practice where clients regularly walk into his office with briefcases of cash. and he doesn't ask any questions. >> did you go to the atm with her? >> no, sir, she didn't go to the atm. she carried the cash. >> so she would give you the cash, do you have a little place in your house where you just stack up all this cash that you apparently got to repay you for these benefits that you bestowed on her? >> if i answer that i'm putting myself in jeopardy, if i tell the world that i have cash some place in my home, don't you think that could be problematic? >> jesse: who in the world would tell the world that they have cash at their house? more on that later.

after he had been totally discredited fanny's attorneys tried to prevent her from being called as a witness when out of nowhere, fanny rumbles into the courtroom in hot pink and demands to take the stand. >> and then suddenly, she files her financial derek calculations. >> did you meet with mr. wade and talk to him about the motion that i filed to disqualify you? >> on january, this first january motion? >> yes. >> i don't know if you could say talked about, i probably had some choice words about some of the things that you said that were dishonest within this motion. so i don't know that it would be conversation as you know mr. wade is a southern gentleman. me not so much. >> jesse: for the next two hours, fanny was a hot mess. flailing and filibustering. >> i'm not on trial. no matter how hard you try to put me on trial. i'm not a hostile witness. >> it's not so much that you're hostel, ms. willis, you would be

an adverse witness. >> contrary to democracy, you're honor. >> has he ever visited you at the place where you lay your head? >> let's be clear, let me tell you which one you lied on, right here -- no, no, no, this is the truth. it is a lie. it is a lie. >> jesse: after the judge admonished everybody, fanny admitted that she and wade had been dining out together for years before she hired him. >> maybe i went to his office once or twice but maybe once. >> and the purpose for going to his office would have been what? >> maybe we would have went to mellow mushrooms for pizza or maybe he would have come for lunch. i'm sure we went by each others' office, but not often, not a lot. we were both grinding. >> jesse: grinding, but they went to more than just melo mushrooms. they went to latin america, the caribbean, and this was the part of the testimony where fani was able to contribute her

intellectual credentials, credentials would you expect the d.a. prosecuting the former president to have. >> you also said that he was a world traveler and been to many continents. >> six. >> have you been to any of those continents with him besides this one? >> where is belize, what continue meant is that? i'm not being funny, i don't know. i've been to belize with him. i've been to the bahamas with him. i have been to aruba with him. don't embarrass me, i'm not sure what continents those are on. whatever continents. >> jesse: aruba is in south carolina, belize is in north america, she sounds like she's on the streets being quizzed by johnny. they also went to napa together. all of these trips going on his business card so what is fani paying for? >> i paid for a bunch of stuff. i think we did two different wine tours that you do, which are pretty expensive. i think i bought him -- he likes

wine. i don't really like wine to be honest with you. i like gray boots. i bought him a bottle of wine. champagne, chocolate, and -- champagne, chocolate and cavier, like three different things, sweden, russia, some place else, i'll make that up, but that was the most expensive thing. >> that trip did not cost me a lot of money. i might have took like $750 cash on me because we weren't gone very long. joe the fullerton county d.a. is eating caviar in napa who she's prosecuting trump and her boyfriend played for the flights with taxpayer money. where did fani get all the cash from anyway? >> i always have cash at the house. that's been, i don't know, all my life. if you're a woman and you go on a date with a man you better have $200 in your pocket so if that man acts up you can go where you want to got. where did that cash originally

come from? >> out of the bank? >> it's -- we've had cash for years in my house. >> money that you paid mr. wade, the cash in october 2022 you do not know where that money came from? >> i do know where it came. from it came from a my sweat and tears. >> jesse: so she just announced she keeps stacks of cash in her house and takes wads of cash to belize wherever that is, so fani proved that she's not street smart or book smart and can't show any atm withdrawals where she got the cash to pay wade. wade testified that he went to fani's condo to look at documents. is that true? what else happened? >> yes, i'm sure, he came to visit. he came to visit. i can remember us going, i think the restaurant, lickitty split. i remember the times that he visited me at the condo.

>> jesse: got to love that place. the best. at this point the media had seen enough. >> this is getting ugly, it's getting messy and my guess is it won't get better. >> it's about lying to the court. potential financial gain. >> the issue is her credibility is shot. it's a horrible, horrible look for her. i think this case is dead in the water. >> fani willis lied to the court. it's game over for her. she'll be disqualified. >> jesse: probably a bad idea to have two sleazy lawyers waste monday on vacation and cover it up, with you what do you expect with when the jury foreman was a wiggly wican. >> what would your reaction be if they decide against bringing any charges after what you have seen? >> i would be sad if nothing happens. i will be frustrated if nothing

happens. >> if it was just a surgery charge. >> i would be happy as long as something happens. [laughter] >> jesse: [laughter] these two cartoon characters don't have the same abilities to be in the same courtroom as the former president. the lover boy, fani, jack smith's team and new york attorney general james have all been meeting with the justice department or comair la harris. the biden administration is overseeing the prosecution of his political rival but just like everything biden oversees it's falling apart. let's bring in judge just mean pirro. how do you think today went for fani willis? >> judge pirro: i have to tell you she was without a doubt the most confrontational combative nonresponsive defiant condescending arrogant witness i have ever seen in a courtroom. especially in a courtroom, and not be taken away in the county

bus and held in contempt at the local jail. i mean, this does not happen in courtrooms. she walks in and she literally is so angry, she accuses the lawyer right off the bat of lying in her questions, with her sworn afterwards and the judge doesn't say anything. the judge just lets her. she was out of control. she says that this lawyer is, what is it, contrary to democracy, everything she's doing. meanwhile, you look at wade, this guy is sweating bullets. he knows he doesn't have any evidence on his side. he knows his claim of getting cash as reimbursement is ridiculous. by the way, if this guy ever tries a case against president trump, trump won't have two drinks. -- have two drinks but he doesn't drink, and be happy. all he did was drink water. when did he go to the bathroom? >> jesse: you've been in the legal world for a long time. how familiar are you with the idea of just cash everywhere? >> judge pirro: let me tell you,

the first thing that will come out of this case is the irs now has a target on wade's back because my clients come in all the time and they pay me cash. and she comes up with cash. nobody is taking money out. nobody is depositing money. we should believe that, meanwhile, woman's best friend said they were basically sleeping together in 2019. but the woman came in and tried to control the courtroom and here's my concern, jesse. >> jesse: what? >> judge pirro: the judge acted like a wimp. this judge should have been offended right off the bat when she tried to run the courtroom. she ran it. he did not. >> jesse: why did he pander to her so much? >> judge pirro: i don't know. i did a little background. he's just been appointed a judge. he's a new judge, doesn't know the ropes yet but he's running for re-election in four months so he doesn't want to tee her off. tee off the community. >> jesse: judge, you remember

when the guy, who was in court, i think it was nevada, and he just jumped up -- i thought fani was going to do that at one point. >> judge pirro: she might have had she gotten angry enough. i have never seen a witness this out of control and then lecture the judges point her finger to the judge and lecture to the attorneys, this woman potentially holds the fate of the nation in her hands as a prosecutor against the president, former president. this is crazy time. >> jesse: usually you don't announce you keep lots of cash in your house when you're a public official. is that something you probably would lean against doing when urn doing things? >> judge pirro: for sure. by the way, when i was a d.a. the chance of me taking six vacations in five months are slim to none. who has that kind of time? >> jesse: prosecuting trump's hard work. month pooh that's why she hired him. this guy can't try a felony case. i'm telling you right now. >> jesse: judge pirro doesn't keep any cash in her house at all. >> judge pirro: none. >> jesse: thank you the very much.

a bombshell about the russia hoax that we've never heard before plus johnny celebration valentine's day. >> you gave me a sad look, i expected you to be cute and you were like ah. [sniff] still fresh. ♪ get 6x longer-lasting freshness, plus odor protection. try for under $5!

for moderate to severe crohn's disease skyrizi is the first il-23 inhibitor that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining.

serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. control of crohn's means everything to me. ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. ♪ control is everything to me ♪ learn how abbvie could help you save. i still love to surf, snowboard, and, of course, skate. so, i take qunol magnesium to support my muscle and bone health. qunol's extra strength, high absorption magnesium helps me get the full benefits of magnesium. qunol, the brand i trust.

. >> jesse: fox news alert. part three of the investigation into how the cia framed trump just dropped. it changes everything. this week we learned how obama's cia told foreign spies to bump 26 trump campaign associates who the cia thought were easy marks. framing them for collusion and then triggering the fbi investigation. the illegal wiretapping and eventually the moeller broken. we also learned there are classify documents that prove all of this. that trump might have copies of and it could be why biden went

to march largo. russia wanted hillary to win in 2016 and the cia knew it. russia saw hillary as manageable, and predictable. they were comfortable with her and wanted her to be president. the russians thought trump was a wild card. didn't want to deal with that. there was never any evidence showing putin supporting trump. obama's cia director john brennan knew this and manufactured the evidence. he manipulated other assessments, buried high quality intelligence and then manufactured a conclusion that 17 agencies agreed russia interfered in the 2016 elections to help trump and then the press ran with it and the country was brainwashed. according to these new reports, these were similar tactics the cia used with the wmd's. this has severely wounded our body politic, warped our minds

and wrecked our trust in national security institutions. we deserve the full accounting of this hoax immediately, every document involved. >> thankfully michael shullen berger has made great progress. tell us what this cooking the books is all about? >> it's good to be with you. i think some people wonder if this is old news or if this has been reported. i want to assure you it has not been reported until now. i can also assure you there are current members of the house intelligence committee that are unaware of a 50-page report that the cia is currently hiding at its headquarters. there may be other copies elsewhere but there is a top secret copy at the cia proving without a doubt according to our sources which are multiple credible sources that russia, in fact, favored hillary clinton, not donald trump in 2016. they used the infamous steele

memo to cook the intelligence, as they said, for the early january 2017 intelligence community assessment claiming that the russians favored trump falsely. that relied on the steele memo. that 50-page report continues to exist. it likely exists with the other intelligence information including raw intelligence documents showing that the evidence was very strongly on the side, the best evidence, was on the side that the russians favored clinton for the continuity and stability, that they were concern about trump for being erratic, and being an unknown quantity, and that the quality of the evidence that contributed that was much lower, and that brennan's people manipulated the sourcing, so to speak, the quality rank given to the sources to come up with the opposite outcome of what the truth was. >> jesse: so the election has just happened, hillary has lost, it was a surprise, they had already kind of had this cia-fbi

deal working, and then they needed some major assessment that was authoritative and you're saying brennan at the cia just started going like this and moving everything around to create this impression that they interfered on behalf of trump? >> yes, that's right. there are actually two separate intelligence scandals here for people to keep in mind. the first one happened earlier in 2016, where our sources, multiple sources, tell us that brennan saw manipulation of our foreign allies to basically entrap trump associates to create the pretext for the fbi investigation of trump's alleged collusion with russia which is now debunked. the second thing is almost a year later brennan orchestrates a phony intelligence assessment that comes to the opposite conclusion of what their own raw intelligence, their best intelligence was showing. these are two massive, massive

intelligence scandals, what we're witnessing is the political corruption of both intelligence gathering and intelligence analysis by john brennan and these documents, we've been told by multiple people, still exist. they are at the cia. they need to be released. they are probably part of this larger binder which may have the other documents to support both the evidence, of both of these scandals. >> jesse: how do we hold brennan accountable? >> congress has to take action. as i said, i now know for a fact there are members of the house intelligence committee whose job it is, whose constitutional requirement it is to oversee the cia, to demand that the cia be a nonpolitical institution. they need to hold them to account. there need to be hearings, they need to get to the bottom of it. we need the 50-page report and the binder and the rest of the documents. >> jesse: i agree, i'm not relying on congress to do much of anything these days. i do like the cia interfering in other people's elections, just not ours. that's a line we can never

cross. shellenberger, thank you so much. so we were right. the russia space nuke story turned out to be another hoax. for nourished, lightweight hair, the right ingredients make all the difference. new herbal essences sulfate free is now packed with plant-based ingredients your hair will love. like pure aloe and camellia flower oil. and none of the things it won't. hair feels deeply nourished, soft and lightweight. plant power you can feel. new herbal essences sulfate free.

( ♪ ♪ )

start your day with nature made. the #1 pharmacist recommended vitamin and supplement brand. >> jesse: yesterday the american people were taken for a wild ride by washington insiders threatening word wide armageddon. the media was spoon fed a leak by the government and they have spent the last 36 hours whipping us into a frenzy. >> the house intelligence committee chair warns of a new threat that could involve russia putting weapons in space. >> nuclear threat from space. >> a top house lawmaker sounds the alarm on a serious national security threat. >> the u.s. facing a national security threat over russia's plan to put nuclear weapons in space. >> turns out we were right. >> jesse: there were no space nukes. there was no danger. it was a false alarm to approve

more ukraine spending and while the congressman who cried space nuke is a republican it felt like the white house's fingerprints were on this. and wouldn't you know it? we were right again. congressman mike turner admitting he worked with the biden administration to craft the language of his first statement that demanded the biden administration declassify this serious now security threat to the country. but wait a second. the white house told the times they were furious about turner's disclosure. but it turns out they were working together the whole time. after sending the people into a mass panic the white house spent today on cleanup duty trying to assure us they are not, in fact, about to be blasted to kingdom come by the russians. >> this is not an active capability but it is a potential one that we're taking very seriously. >> this is not an active capability that's been deployed and though russia's pursuit of

this particular capabilities is troubling there is no immediate threat to anyone's safety. >> jesse: it was a ruse. all week d.c. kamala was going to munich to pledge our support for ukraine so they passed the ukraine bill tuesday morning and within hours speaker mike johnson said the house wouldn't vote on it and what do you know, the very next day the sky was falling and russia was to blame. this isn't the first time washington has tried to deceive us like this but usually they are better at it. here's kirby still going. >> nothing is more important to president biden than the safety and security of the american people, and that remains top priority as we determine the best next steps. i'll share a few words about the battle situation in ukraine. >> jesse: he's like a time share salesman. gets you in the door about thermo-nuclear war but once inside he convinces you to spend all your money on an eastern

european country you'll probably visit only once. at this point we expect our government to lie to us all the time but they have got to do better than this. jim hanson joins us now. jim, not their best effort what happened? >> they were lying and doing it badly. that's the embarrassing thing. i don't want to bust anybody's bubble, jesse but the russians have 6,000 nukes already right down here on good ole planetert. if they ever decide to cause trouble they don't need to and if they want to nuke some satellites just shoot one of their isbm's and shoot doimpb's satellite and a good chunk of the electronics down here below it. it was a joke. this ole russian space nukes, oh, help us, ob-1 biden. >> jesse: mike turner is a republican. he's on the house intel. he's the chair and he's putting

out this scary stuff, the biden team must declassify the urgent threat from russia. he let the biden white house review the release before he sent it. >> there is a bizarre collection of people all obsessed with ukraine, and it revolves around trump is the weird thing. you've got neo-cons, trump is ruining their forever war game and you've got leftist who is hate him for just being trump but putin is a stand-in for trump and they are all obsessed with ukraine and sending all our money and here's an interesting tidbit. mike turner's district covers wright patterson air force base. there is a little thing there called the national air and space intelligence center. you think they are going to get some money out of this scare? >> jesse: just when i thought it was about politics it turns out, again, like usual, it's about the money. >> you know it. thanks, as always.

it is dei thursday, america. pray with me real qu ick. lord, you know what's on our hearts. you know where we struggle. you know where we need to be pushed. help us give it all to you. the good, the bad. help us turn to you in everything we do. amen. i invite you to join me in more prayer on hallow. stay prayed up

oh, it's cold outside. time to protect your vehicle from winter's wrath. of course, the hot sun can be tough on vehicles too. you need weathertech. laser measured floorliners and cargo liner will shield the carpeting from sand and snow. for your interior, there's seat protector and sunshade. plus, mud flaps and bumpstep for the exterior. while the new impactliner, with shock absorbing rings, safeguards your truck bed from costly damage. order american made products at wt.com surf's up!

>> happy dei thursday. our favorite day of the week in honor of al sharpton we're bringing you the best shores about diversity, equity and inclusion. first up, students at uc san francisco had a little fun appointment with the dei doctor. his name, dante king. he's a career dei officer and he has a special power. he can diagnose whiteness. it turns out it's terminal. >> white supremacy is diagnosable, whites are psychopaths and their behavior represents and underlying proclivity with roots deep in their evolutionary history. you can rape black women and i'm not seeking agreement from white people at all. i don't prioritize or whiteness or white people in my work in that way. i think whites are psychopath thick. >> jesse: next up, do you remember rachael -- america's

favorite fake black woman? are you an african-american woman? >> i identify as black. >> you identify as black. >> jesse: let me put a picture of you up in your early 20's and when you see this picture, is this an african-american woman? or is that a caucasian woman? >> i would say visibly she would be identified as white. >> rachel, a white woman who identified as a black woman to work at the naacp is now a teacher in arizona. of course she is. or was. she was fired, because now she's a webcam girl. if you don't know what that is, it's for 18 and over. let's dinner the lady teachers. who take off their clothes and talk about male teachers who wear high heels. here's a teacher from virginia beach, who loves to strut his stuff. >> on a normal day, these are my shoes. sometimes, i like to look sexy.

>> -- an important part of our culture. >> look at him tremble. ♪ >> jesse: so now what is national geographic and the gay community have in common? bears. also, our friend pattie -- a drag queen who burst on the scene as the pride month sponsor for north face. she was just named traveler of the year for his very important ecological achievements. [screams] >> cute. >> very cute. ♪ ♪ [screams] ♪ joe [laughter]

>> no dei thursday is complete without a victory. two weeks ago we brought you the story about california's woke kindergarten, whose only job was to brainwash kids into hating the country. >> i believe the united states has no right to exist. >> white supremacy destroys for the sake of destruction. abolition destroys for the sake of creation. we are not the same. the demons. y'all are the villains. we've been trying to end y'all. get free of y'all. >> jesse: gender queer abolitionist no longer works with the hayward school district. the spokesperson telling fox that her statements do not align with the values of the district. a loss for akey yeah but a victory for the kids. you're welcome and happy dei thursday. so johnny gets some love advice and he definitely needs it. >> celebrating a lot on valentine's day. what do you think he should do for dr. jill tonight? >> maybe a special night in the oval office.

♪ *

overactive bladder, or oab, can change your world. like going hiking... just to hike to the bathroom. reaching for the bar... just to reach for pads.

waiting for the sunset... just to wait for the stall. discover gemtesa. a once-a-day pill proven to reduce all 3 key symptoms of oab leakage episodes, urgency and frequency in adults. do not take if you have a known allergic reaction to gemtesa or its ingredients. tell your doctor right away if you are unable to empty your bladder or if you have a weak urine stream. tell your doctor if you are taking medicines that contain digoxin or if you have liver or kidney problems. side effects may include headache, common cold symptoms, diarrhea, nausea, urinary tract and upper respiratory tract infection. ask your doctor about gemtesa... and see if you could save on your prescription. ♪

>> jesse: yesterday was valentine's day. romance filled the air so we sent johnny out to spread the love. >> happy valentine's day. >> happy valentine's day. >> valentine's. valentine. >> who is your valentine? >> super smart. socially aware. >> aware of what? >> my feelings. >> you don't have a lot of time left? >> i know. >> my cat. >> my mom. >> you gave me a sad look. expected you to be cute and you're like ah. >> he'll be okay. >> any plans? >> watch sad movies, got to cry. >> name is sammy. >> does sammy talk to you?

>> like chase, we barely speak. >> you're off to a great start? >> thanks. >> he knows i love italian. >> what are you going to get for dinner? >> italian sausage. >> that's a nice one. >> chocolates, flowers. is that enough? >> never enough. >> a two-way street. you've got to impress me, too. >> doing it from the heart. >> diamonds are a girl's best friend. >> it's making me emotional. >> what's your idea of romance? >> being your weakest self. >> acts of service. >> something that makes you want to dance. ♪ >> how do you sweep a woman off her feet? >> really hot sex. >> tell her she's better looking than her sibling? >> you spin her off her feet and catch her. >> not literally. >> how can a man woo you?

>> humor. >> phone call, text messages. >> can i have your number? ♪ >> jesse: if you're signal, what's the mood on valentine's day? >> showing yourself love. probably cry. >> have a nice bath. make it romantic for yourself. just like, be desperate. >> come in. >> has valentine's day ever gone wrong for you? >> last year i was dating my hairdresser. kind of bad -- this chase guy is kind of cool. yes, i know. >> i'm kind of a big deal. >> i got broken up with on valentine's day. >> first thing he says when i walk up to him, what's your favorite taylor swift song? >> got to hate, hate, hate. >> a guy took me on a tour of all of his ex-'s houses. i thought he was going to kill me and i would be the next on the tour. >> where is this guy now? >> coaching a middle school basketball team. >> i bet you he voted for joe biden, too. >> talk to me about the first time you have ever been in love.

>> her name was olivier. rest in peace, olivier. >> she died? >> no. it was in california on the coast. >> kind of hit me out of nowhere. ♪ >> joe biden, he celebrated lots of valentine's days. what do you think you should do for dr. jill tonight? >> remember that it's valentine's day. would be the first step. >> maybe a special night in the oval office. >> maybe a good comedy show. >> should you go to the vice president's residence? >> you feel like you just fell out of a coconut tree. >> do you watch jesse watters on fox? >> yes, my favorite. >> what do you want to tell him? >> you're my idol. >> do something fun, maybe have a warm body to keep you warm. >> jesse: we've been showing you this life-size book of get it together. look at that. look at the size of that book. well, we have something for you.

the actual book came in. here it is. the hard copy is here. if you have ever wanted to know why someone would leave texas to go to cartel territory, to search toad venom to smoke and hallucinate? the answer is right here. why would someone who is so rich and spoil divorce their husband and go join blm? the answer is right here. why would a professional prostitute proposition jesse watters during the interview for the book and how much did she think i would pay? those answers are right here. this book will make you laugh. it will make you cry. it will make you think. maybe the best book ever written. pre-order it right now. let's do some texts. >> greg from florida, lover boy, pretty much look straight into the camera today and steady have sexual relations with that woman. >> james from florida, when fani

stormed in i thought i was watching an episode of jerry springer. >> phil from new york, i think we just watched the pilot of a new courtroom sitcom series serious. >> my local cash machine is always out of service. can fani help me out? is her dad al capone. tom from new jersey. lover boy should talk to gold bar bob about where to stash cash. what is it with these democrats keeping cash, diamonds like hunter, gold bars, who does that? tommy from louisiana, lick kitty split, the jokes write

themselves. fani is drinking that goose. how much do you think she'll play the race card at 9:00 a.m.? that's the only thing she has left. >> zach from cleveland, ohio, since fani is single now, please tell her i say happy belated valentine's day. i'll settle for goose and -- here's the thing when you're dating fani. apparently she won't let you pay for anything. so just get ready. she'll offer you cash. what you do with that cash, it's not anybody's business. ken from maine, does johnny pay for romantic trips on primetime business credit cards? you know what? that reminds me, we should start scrutinizing johnnie's corporate card. he's traveling all over the place. who knows who he's wining and dining. probably wanda. james from rhode island, i need to start a spreadsheet to keep track of all the cia fall peace sance. a lot of that at the agency. we'll get to the bottom of it or

we think we are. sam from goodyear, arizona, russia wanted hillary? be careful what you wish for, vladimir. the whole thing was a hoax. can you believe that? he wanted crooked. ray from hartford, connecticut, russia has space nooks. we have dei. i'm not sure which is more powerful. rachel, from new hampshire, you have my permission to nix dei on thursday. i think we've had enough. dei thursday is one of the most popular segments we do on the show. there will be no nixing ever. charlene from new mexico, can you ask johnny if he'll be my valentine? should we send johnny to new mexico? that's an expense report i need to see. that's all for us tonight. dvr the show, the hard copy available for pre-order. i'm jesse watters and this is "my world.