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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 9, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> sean: unfortunately that is all the time that we have left this evening. as always thank you for being with us and making the show possible. please set your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". in the meantime, i'll let not your heart be troubled, y. is greg gutfeld static buy? to put a smile on your face. [applause]
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[ ♪♪ ] >> greg: all right. all right. yes. yes. you just wait until after the show. it is friday so you know what that means. that's welcome tonight's guests. she is so pure hunter biden tried to snort her, shannon bream! he is as cheerful as an orphan with tuberculosis, comedian david angelo! as the former miss citrus everything that she touches is freshly squeezed. morgan ortega's! he can see your house from up
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there. new york times best-selling author and comedian tyrus! before we get to some news stories let's do this. [ ♪♪ ] >> greg's leftovers. >> greg: it is leftovers. what i read the jokes that we do not use this week. as always it is my first time reading them so if they suck we will tie joe machi to the slender trunk of a sapling and as it slowly grows into a large tall tree he hangs himself. >> that was... >> greg: it will take 89 years. but it is worth it. the iraqi parliament lowered the legal marriage age for girls to nine years old. guess who is now condo hunting in baghdad?
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in a resurfaced interview from 2020 vice president harris was asked to her favourite wrapper was, alive. she said tupac who is dead. when asked to her favourite president was she said joe biden. who is... as for kamala avoiding questions from the press she says she wants to get to an interview scheduled before the end of the month. she would do it sooner but she needs to learn words. nancy pelosi admits they forced president biden to drop out of the race not because he was unfit for office but because he
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would lose to trump. she stopped biden in the back which is reared because she usually bites people in the neck. olympic swimmers are getting sick from having to swim in the rivers and. you could tell something was wrong because they went in looking like this and they came out looking like this. [applause] >> you have been on "the view", right? >> go get them! >> greg: president biden openly expressed confusion as he greeted the world series winning at texas rangers at the white house. he kept asking where is chuck norris? and olympic women's boxing x. y chromosome boxer a monica leaf
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advanced to their weight class finals. i think i speak for everybody when i say may the best man win. in a comics for kamala event. quote,," like every white jewish guy i wish i was black, will. there was always a chance he could become black later in life, said one woman. joy reid's says democrat mark kelly wood have been a better pic for kamala's vp because he is quote, "super white like a man a sandwich on wonder bread," that must be why she is copying his hairstyle. the british government is now threatening to arrest twitter users and they warned think before you post. or what?
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asked one man. a little historical humour there. finally, massive amounts of flooding is set to hit new york city this weekend is hurricane debbie approaches. to safe stranded new yorkers mayor adams would implement five massive flotation devices. can't go wrong. so. if you ever want to know what the democrats are up to just listen to what they accuse you of doing. take the word weird. first uttered by a guy named tim walz directed at another guy called jd vance. it turns out as usual it is a preemptive projection. the democrats always call you on stuff they are about to do or have already done. they accuse you of election interference but when they do it they will accuse you of racism before hand. then they will accuse you of censorship before they try to
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shut you up. you know that the party of drag queen story hour, that activism, and supporting hamas have something freaky up their sleeves. he disguises it under the compassion of -- mask of phony compassion. under the guise of empathy. and a 2017 convention he employed -- implied that 10 year old boy should be able to invade women's bathrooms. quote, "the safety security and belongingness of every child in the room,". these our children my son's age and they just want to go to the bathroom. their identity as a man or a female and they just go and use it. it sounds so folksy. belonging? they will be in therapy with this guy at the home.
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whose expertise does he rely upon for his midwestern takes? here is minnesota state representative who wants to train more children's doctors on change surgery and puberty blockers. he sponsored the transit refuge bill which makes minnesota a sanctuary state for such butchery. >> if you promised trance refuge we need to increase the number of people offering gender affirming care so we have some money hopefully we can pass to help entice people to move from those states who also practice this. we want to do internship programs and fellowship programs with children and minnesota and other places where people can learn gender affirming care. >> greg: he is now available for babysitting. that is the perfect person to give advice for impressionable kids. i do not know. strangers that want to take in runaways with perfectly good parents who do not want them
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sterilized? that is weird. i would not send my son to st. paul. he would come back bawling. there are a few weird things about walz of course. he fibs about his military service. he set up a snitch line for our services not wearing masks. and he is super weird about free speech. >> we need to push back on this. there is no guarantee to free speech on misinformation especially around our democracy. >> greg: there is no guarantee? what? i guess his class did not cover the first amendment. but if misinformation is not free speech should he not arrest himself for lying about his service? here is the deal. my main point is that while smac made himself fair game because his only attack was that the other guy was weird.
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everybody is weird the more you get to know them. that is why marriage is a commitment. over time both spouses realize that we are all that [beep] crazy. but there is weird and there is dangerously insane. that is thinking that children can decide to have themselves castrated. that is tim walz. his sin, among many, is that he speared jd vance for being human. 's accusation is that he is not. once you make that claim all bets are off. do you think that he is weird? you want to operate on kids. saying crazy, ladies is weird. what if you want to turn somebody's son into one. so congrats walz, you are a weirdo. but so are we. but so are we. at least we do not lie about it. unlike you. maybe that is because you are way more weird than we can even
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imagine. [applause] >> greg: shannon, it is common knowledge around the building that you are a very weird person. i am serious. she is a freak. didn't walz make a mistake by breaking the weird seal? there is no nonweird person. once you say that it is like, okay,, we are coming after you. >> a lot of the headlines were saying that he is lovable like your dad next door, your grandpa, your coach. he is supposed to be the norm. that is what we are told her. but when you talk about things like free speech and because none of the weirdos that i like to hang out with... and they have decided 8-1 in controversial cases the most hateful, weird stuff you would say is protected by the first amendment because it is not rainbows, puppies, and all we
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have to protect. it is the most hateful stuff that the constitution protects your ability to say these things out loud and then people can judge you based on that. here is the deal. we have to get past the love fest at some point. you have to get to where he is on his policy positions. some people may love that. but they need to know what they are so they can decide how to vote. >> greg: you did cover the supreme court, they are all. we know they are not wearing anything underneath the robes. >> i neither confirm nor deny. >> greg: i think that would be an exclusive. >> i will get back to you want that, how about that? >> greg: angelo, good to see you as always it. i assume you have a closet full of skeletons. i mean literally. you have the bodies of dead people in your house probably
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underneath the floor boards. >> that is wrong i moved out of that apartment two weeks ago. slanderous accusation. i am in a two bedroom now. you know, as a comedian and the owner of one of the largest american-made razor companies western razor.com i have a different relationship with the word weird. that comes at me often. it is interesting to see the pivot in the messaging. democrats, deliverables in general it used to be at his okay to be weird. everybody is different. kind of like they did this with body shaming. >> greg: yes. >> do not do body shaming. do not do body shaming. has sued as trump got into
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office it is like look at his large face. they got off on this. they have to stick to their message. >> greg: the message only works when they can point at somebody else. >> we have to remember what the message is. western razor.com four american-made raisers. >> greg: i guess the transitioning of girls to boys helps your company because you get more shavers. >> we have raisers for everybody. everyone. >> greg: everyone. more can, do you find it interesting? you can predict what the democrats are doing by what they accuse you of. it is always that way. >> it is like they are opposite kidding from what we should really be talking about in this election. the price of goods for people to go to the grocery store the
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price of goods for gasoline, whether you were safe around the community or around the world. we took to impact carriers out of the american region because of the u.s. navy ships are getting shot at. troops are getting killed by the iranians. we are in war in almost every theatre in the country instead it is really start -- smart with the democrats have done. they are not talking about war around the world they are talking about who is weird and who is not weird. i think what is weird is getting married on tiananmen square because the excuse is that you will always remember the anniversary of your wedding, through a massacre. >> greg: it is ironic that he got married in china and goes to iraq. he is not really a great wall. [applause] >> greg: i love they applauded that. >> i didn't know that tim walz got married in tiananmen square. >> he got married on the
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anniversary. >> i went to tim and square. -- tiananmen square. i asked the tour guide about it and he said no thanks. >> greg: tyrus? >> this is your fault. you need to write a letter to the millions and millions of people watching got whole -- home and saying why are they clapping? >> greg: not so great wall. you are weird, tyrus. you are a weirdo. >> we are all weird. you look weird. it is you. you flip the dictionary it is greg going hello! he is not weird. he is a creep. there is a difference between being weird and creepy. you can say, hey,, let's get weird this weekend. but let's get creepy this weekend. oh, no chair?
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puppets! p. our puppets. what bothers me the most is the fake valour is bad enough but when you have faith but our turning sculpting where do you go from there? it turns out he never did that [beep]. he just bought it at an iowa thing. i have people from the midwest because i have actually been there. this is not legit spotter. >> i cannot believe it is not bought her. >> is that your joke? >> everyone of you that asks for
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a picture after the show? no. >> greg: we have to move on that was fun. >> sharp as a razor over there. [applause] >> greg: wouldn't it be great if you didn't really sell raisers at all. he just sells hats that say that. up next, nancy finally explains why she took jo's rains it. >> if you will be in the new york area and you would like tickets to see gutfeld click on the linkth to join our studio th audience. but when you get your tools from harbor freight something about the job feels different - your wallet. whatever you do, do it for less, at harbor freight. ♪ what the biggest companies deliver is exceptional customer experience. what makes it possible is unmatched connectivity
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>> a story and five words.
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>> greg: pelosi admits it is a coup. did i say it right? roll it! >> i am impressed with this political operation. they won the right house. -- white house. my concern is this isn't happening. we have to make a decision. the president has to make a decision for it to happen. let me just say i will not say necessarily what i was doing at that time. i knew what i was doing. donald trump will never set foot in the white house again. >> greg: this is kind of amazing. this is a big deal, tyrus.
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they just admitted they got rid of by did not because he was unfit but because he was going to lose which is a complete subversion of democracy because he almost had almost 4000 delegates and the millions of voters, and the campaign funds. they just said that they circumvented the democratic process because he was going to lose it. people made this decision. >> let's make it one step higher than that. 81 million votes. not too long ago. 81 million left? i guess we figured out who has been running the country. now we know it has been nancy pelosi. she is the one who made the call for him to step down. they are trying to be nice and say it is not because he is running out of time. that would make it even more sinister. we still cannot get a straight story. you can always tell when somebody is full of [beep]
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because their body has to bring it out of them. he asked her the one thing i get so excited about the weirdest thing now. my kids understand directions for the first time. a reporter asking a follow-up question. whenever i see a report ask a follow-up question i am like that reminds me of something! oh my goodness! he asked her a question he caught her off guard. her body said that i am lying. i stabbed him, whipped him, threatened him, ripped it from him. >> greg: she did say that he was going to lose. >> but that goes back a few layers. we now know what the party is sitting in the white house right now because they decide for the people. >> greg: morgan, you are a lawyer, right? >> no. >> greg: well for the sake of the segment. >> i have been one on television. >> greg: you look so young. may i just ask you, forget that
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question. it is amazing that pelosi could say that with a straight face but perhaps that is the botox. >> i will not judge a girl for a little botox. i think that she play such an evil character very well. you can tell that she cannot wait. she offed his candidacy and she couldn't wait to take credit for. because president obama was taking credit for it all these people were trying to stay in the background about who did it and she went up there and said i am the one who stuck the knife in. it away i have to hand it to her. she played the evil character that she is. >> greg: david, do you have this kind of power struggle inside western razor? i imagine you must have a staff of 100. right? >> it is a small staff. i know you make jokes but we all were small business in america. western razor. yes, they are constantly trying
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to throw me out of power. >> a cutthroat business. [applause] >> not with our products, it's not. but i take the point. >> yes. >> just how it is. power. the whole thing is fake. remember feinstein? she was voting... and then biden. it was not a coup. he did not know he was president. he has no idea. and now we have kamala it is like, you know. she will take over. for a minute his brain didn't work and then he went to therapy. he went off the reservation a few topics. but the whole thing is ridiculous.
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why are we pretending like democracy was working prior to three months ago. >> greg: here is my point, shannon. and you are a lawyer. this is grounds for impeachment i would say. they spent all of this time accusing trump of an insurrection, of a coup. she is actually saying that they removed him. they put kamala in place. she was never elected or nominated. is this something that... it does not seem like it is legal. >> what democrats will say when you press them on that is that the donors or the party leaders in making the decision they will say the 14 million who voted for president biden in the primary reason was voting for the biden here is ticket. she was getting votes. i also think she is trying to have her cake and eat it to sink i did not do the actual stabbing. i received hundreds of calls.
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i was not telling people what to do. but then she goes on a show that she knows the president watches she says that this was an important decision to make. after he has clearly said that i am staying in the race. it is like coming on the show and saying that greg has a decision to make about whether he is going to curse or not. and clearly he has decided he is going to use not the words on the show. >> greg: that is so [beep] cute. having said that, we do swear too much i think. i don't know. >> one of us does. >> greg: yes. who cares. >> ortega. >> definitely be. do you watch game of thrones? the famous scene where she tells -- she says tell circe i want her to know it was me. that is nancy pelosi. >> greg: the people who don't
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watch game of thrones we are not shut ins. i have a social life. i have children. i volunteer. the vp gum flapper cannot name a living rapper.
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>> this could very well be breaking news. at least to us. >> greg: she does not know about politics or rap. >> the best rapper? >> tupac. >> you say he lives on. >> i know i keep the... >> you keep doing that. >> who would i say? there is so many. there are some that i would not
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mention right now because they should stay and their lane but. >> i want to know what that means. >> keep moving, angela. >> greg: let's move on, angela. that was in 2020. maybe she knows more wrappers now. i do not even know rapper -- i do not even know rap and i can name more. do you remember blondie? she could wrap. who can forget tiny de? >> my name is tiny de and i am here to say... and a major way. got a dog named jasper. if you do not think that they'll say fears me go ahead and ask her. if you love castro stick with jay-z. if you love your frito -- freedom pick me.
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is going to warp your. >> greg: on vacation so she has no vacation. >> david? >> exactly. >> greg: david, you are street. >> that is correct. >> greg: you are a legend among the hip-hop community. >> his old rap name is razor's edge. >> greg: true. do you think she knows anybody besides the name that was given to her two years ago tupac from a different interview and she does not even have any idea? >> i am torn on this. first of all she is like 60 years old. it is kind of a weird question. but this is the soft ball she is supposed to have answers if she cannot talk about policy. just make something up.
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if we do not get climate control under control what is it. if we do not get climate can change under -- change under control take that from the top. if we do not get climate change under control ice cube is going to melt. [applause] >> greg: that is why you should be riding for kamala harris instead of running some dinky razor company out of your garage. >> it is western razors.com. tyrus, what is your theory behind this? >> greg: do you think it was racist to ask her that? if she is actually listening. >> this is the thing that bothers me about being black you do not have to like rap music. it kind of helps because that is what most of us do. you do not have to know it.
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i have cited a million times she is a beautiful black woman. she could also be a beautiful argyle woman we do not give a about the colour of your skin. the whole prove i am black thing. it is almost funny to watch her do it. just say i have cousins who are like rap? i listen to country music. newsflash, we invented cowboys. it was not a cool job. you didn't -- did not to shoot people up you had to shovel cow all day in the hot son. >> greg: because she is a wonderful black woman and that means when she is singing along and a certain word comes up can she say it? i mean she is a beautiful black woman. >> she should be able to say it. but you know what? maybe she is refined. plus the great richard pryor decided that he is not going to see it.
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i get older i am not going to say it because i don't like the fact that it confuses people. i'm talking about boys and i say that and then some poor sweet razor company guy comes over and here's our conversation and says what is up, man? and we are like no more western razor. we cannot have that. she said look at all of my old school black jazz records. i say you should have had them already. she is trying to hard. >> greg: to hard. >> but again, anybody in the republican party is innocent. she is a beautiful black woman. can we please talk about her policies. just throwing that out there. >> greg: shannon? who is your favourite living rapper. >> because i am an expert in this kind of thing vanilla ice i am going to have to go with jazzy jeff and the fresh prince of bel air. that is how update to m. i am
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with rap. so i should not say anything more. >> its lapse. >> greg: its lapse. morgan, how important is the story to your life. >> last night i stayed awake worrying that you were going to ask me about this. it reminds me of hillary clinton was it with the hot sauce? >> greg: the hot sauce. >> pulling hot sauce out of her purse. she should have talked about policy but she is not. i do not have time to talk about rap because i am trying to save the planet. >> that would be clever and smart. >> maybe that is why she is running a basement campaign. >> greg: we will move on.org. coming up. reports saying that trump does not get velo. -- velo.
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>> it is coming your way. it is a video of the day.
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>> greg: trump defends biden and asks what is kamala hiding? video of the day comes from trump's monologue or press conference. has he not had a campaign event for nearly a week now. >> have not had a campaign event for nearly a week now. some of your allies say that you were not taking this too seriously. >> that is because i am leading by a lot and i am letting their convention go through. excuse me, what am i doing right now? [applause] >> greg: he is right. i mean you are in the middle of a press conference and you were saying there is no campaign events? that is like being in the middle
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of and saying, hey,, what are you doing later? >> probably a sandwich and a nap. >> greg: trump pushing quite a pace considering he was shot and the head four weeks ago. after mckinley, and lincoln were shot they kept their calendars pretty clear. meanwhile camelot is not doing any new conferences. why? because she cannot do a news conference. >> she cannot do a news conference. she does not know how to do a news conference she is not smart enough to do news conference we need smart people. >> greg: the presidency was taken away from joe biden and trump is no biden fan. >> the presidency was taken away from joe biden and i am no joe biden fan. but from a constitutional standpoint, from any standpoint they took the presidency away. they say they will use the 25th amendment. they say we would do with the nice way or the hard way. he said all right.
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>> greg: morgan, yesterday he talked for 70 or 80 minutes. and kamala does not say anything. could there be a midpoint? does this help him or does this when anybody knew? what does this thing? >> it was classic vintage trump to do a press conference that long. you are sweating and wondering when it will be over. it is smart of him. he is saying i can stand up here and answer every question. he is forcing the press to try and do their job. >> greg: shannon, it is funny watching the media get a stop at him and having to backtrack when he is actually just talking to them unlike the other guy or girl. >> who were thought in which we
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have a situation in which president biden steps out. he has done more press than the vice president has since she was named to do -- take his place at. we have heard nothing from her yet. >> greg: he was shocked and he did that. that is the weird thing. i am not below milking tragedy, angelo, if i got shocked i would be talking about it all the time. i would be getting sympathy gifts. he is acting like it never happened. shouldn't he milk it a little bit? >> i guess? what is he going to do? wear a sling? it is hard to go too far. it is funny watching because the journalists are so bad. they do not even know how to ask good questions anymore. they have no idea how to handle it. >> greg: that is true much like you when you were answering political questions. [applause]
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>> greg: in your face, razor boy. tyrus, is he helping himself? >> he is the only one who can. president trump. who was he running against? himself. that is what we are seeing. we keep saying when will she speak? we are the wily coyote party. we keep chasing that stupid road runner like the results will be any different. get away from it, move on. this is weird and a good way. so let's be weird mr president and leave all this other [beep] alone. >> greg: on that note the show is almost done.an stay ford fewer fun. -- viewer fun. ♪ liberty. ♪
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>> greg: you are watching mailing it in. here is a good question. cameras were not everywhere when we were younger. what is one thing, shannon? that makes you glad they were not? >> only one in? i feel like i volunteered to put
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in all kinds of performances that nobody asked for. sing songs. go dance. i am scared to even say that because i am sure somebody else there has the video. >> greg: but people can't even keep video anywhere anymore. there is a lot of stuff that i did that if they found it old boy, tyrus it, i would be in big trouble. >> i don't know if you're looking to me as your body on this one but do i want to go over to razors edge over there? the one thing that always stands out is that girls were a lot smarter than we were growing up. i do not know if that is still the same. but we always got tricked into showing yours and showing mine. we never saw theirs. [applause] >> greg: are we talking about the same thing? are we talking about birthmarks? >> yes. yes.
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>> birthmarks. >> greg: morgan, were there things that you did when you were younger that you was glad was never recorded for posterity? is that the word? posterity. >> i didn't do bad things but i used to do dorky things. i was the drum major in bandon i hope nobody has a picture of that. >> greg: you were the drum major and i was beating off. [applause] >> greg: beating off. >> beating off young ladies. he was very handsome. he came in a small carrying case so you can carry him around in your backpack. very popular. thank you, shannon bream. >> greg: angelo, you were in between the weird and the creepy. i'm share there are plenty things that you did when you were younger. did you dissect a lot of animals
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in the park? >> no. not a lot. >> define a lot. >> a healthy amount. there were cameras. i am only 25. there are moments on that show that i wish there were no cameras. it will be late in the edit room tonight. >> greg: that was a great question. we have to move on. i do nots go away. heal acid-related damage to the esophagus called erosive esophagitis, and relieve related heartburn. voquezna is the first and only fda-approved treatment of its kind. 93% of adults were healed by two months. of those healed, 79% stayed healed. and voquezna can provide heartburn-free days and nights. other serious stomach conditions may still exist. don't take if allergic to voquezna
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choose advil liqui-gels for faster, stronger and longer-lasting relief than tylenol rapid release gels. because advil targets pain at the source of inflammation. so for faster pain relief, advil the pain away. >> studio audience. i am great -- greg gutfeld i will see you later. [ cheering and applause ] >> trace: good evening it's 11:00 pm on the east coast, 8:0s

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