♪ ♪ >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left it this evening has always thank you for being with us, thank you for making that show possible, please set your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". news any time, all the time on foxnews.com and hannity.com. in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great night. [applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

>> greg: yes! yes. yes. all right, i will take it, for now. happy monday, everyone. last friday joe biden turned over a cabinet meeting to his wife. if that is not bad enough he then put hunter in charge of the medicine cabinet. man boobs. vice president harris will skip this fund-raising dinner, a feature which traditionally shows presidential candidates roasting each other. she pulled out at the last minute. if only her husband had done the same thing with the nanny. terrible.

this person was criticized for saying that kamala harris is not black. she would know, her brother michael was a white one. and a beautiful one at that, rest in peace. hillary clinton argued that kamala harris does not need to clarify her policy positions to her various critics and instead recommends simply killing them. the menendez brothers series on netflix is facing backlash over the allegations of sibling incest. i don't see the big deal, says one woman. i don't know why, i don't understand the backstory on that i have not looked into that. >> complicated. >> greg: isn't it always? world leaders are gathering this week for the u.n. general assembly, representatives from haiti are looking forward to visiting new york city's many dog parks. [laughter] >> greg: but they are bummed

they can no longer get tickets to see cats. i don't care if it is false. i knew costco is under construction in l.a. that will feature hundreds of apartments for rent. every apartment will feature air conditioning and a 20-gallon bottle of ranch dressing. several bows escaped from a rodeo and massachusetts. luckily authorities have a pretty good idea area where they are. [applause] >> greg: never gets old, does it? megan kelly says she misses fat opera. so do we catch says hostess. finally california governor signed a law banning plastic

shopping bags. not to be confused with old bags that are mostly plastic. [applause] why would you clap for something so mean? before they cast their ballot this november american should do one thing first, then mow me ten dollars. would also watch trump on "gutfeld!" and then in kamala on because you can't get a better picture of how the -- who the candidates are. here is trump talking about fronted oh. >> the death penalty for drug dealers i do not know if this country is ready for it. but each drug dealer on average kills, on average, 500, he or she, drug dealer, i know so many families who have lost a sun are daughter, or appearance even, to fentanyl. >> greg: you can't get much more clear than that.

that is called a specific. here is kamala who is clear as mud it. >> we love our country. i love our country i know we all do that is why everybody is here right now we love our country. we take pride in the privilege of being american. we are in optimistic people. american spy character are people who have dreams and ambitions and aspirations. >> greg: opera's face is like get me the [bleep] out of here. what the hell is this crazy lady saying? here is trump on the border. >> what they have done with the border and the wall and the whole thing you could have built an extra 200 miles i built much more than i said it was going to build and it worked. i had the mexican government give a gust 28,000 troops. we had so many mexican troops

they had no choice. otherwise i said i would put tariffs on your cars. >> greg: a past experience and the present example. here is kamala. >> this is not a theoretical issue for me. this is something that i have worked on. my work into my career has always been about saying let's fix problems. let's address the needs because we know it is in our capacity to do that. suite two trump told you what he did and 20 will do. kamala continued to treat the english language the way that p diddy treats justin bieber. you can take that anyway you want. he diddy data. here is trump being as blunt as it gets. >> you kind of separate the french it from the legal stuff. you sue me, i get it that is what you do. but do you want to use my plane?

fine. >> i have to do that because otherwise i would have nobody to talk to at all. >> greg: here is kamala on god knows what. >> we believe is what is possible, we believe in what can be. we believe in fighting for that. that is how we came into being and that is who we are we believe in all of that. this is a moment where we stand knowing what we are fighting for. we are not fighting against it, it what we are fighting for. >> greg: i will have four more wines. waitress! she is ignoring me because i am biracial. anyway, she speaks like a

retarded hallmark card. you could not get a more clear contrast and yet there were those who hear harris and love it every bit as much as you love what you heard from trump. what with the great divide? it has to do with deeds and words. trump workers expected deeds, harris voters are fine with words. a trump supporter foot for trump expecting him to act. i have are supportive votes for harris and that is the act. the act of voting is itself the policy and the point. specifics do not matter. the boat is a virtue signal a simple requirement with no follow-up necessary. that was by design. the only basis for voting for a democrat whether it was biden or heres was that it was only the vote that mattered and that it be against trump. they can live with a switch candidates from one with dementia to another with went to brain her. they just expect you to vote for them no matter what. it is an anti-vote.

the voters will receive kamala into their lives with the issues the rest of us care about is ignored whether it is immigration, rising crime, the 20% increase in food and gas prices. they have been convinced none of that matters except only this one time heroic vote for kamala. she could be the first black and indian female president to get us into a nuclear war. for proof listen to msnbc stephanie with "the new york times" columnist aboard prioritizing the vote for harris over actual policies. >> it is not too much to ask kamala to say all you for a palestinian state if the masses going to run that stated? yes or no. >> that's that you do not like her answer are you going to vote for donald trump? >> no of course i won't. >> she is not running for perfect. she is running against trump. we have two choices. there were some things you might not know her answer to. in 2024 unlike 2016 for a lot of

the american people we know exactly what trump will do, who he is, and the kind of authority is to democracy. >> greg: i would say she is more dumb than a box of rocks but at least you can throw those at brian kilmeade. that is her strategy and that might work. so how do you persuade a democratic filter to support to kamala when they aren't even interested in issues? the only counter strategy is not to call them idiots that will fall on deaf ears. and stead to direct them to outlets telling them what to believe. the best way to unravel a naive liberal role is to expose the lies of those feeding them lies. the direct brainwashers. when you get a chance simply ask a kamala supporter why not trump? when they call trump racist or sexist be prepared to debunk the lies whether that is the drinking bleach hoax, or something else, all it takes is one debunking to make them think

the media is not giving them the whole story. you were not asking them to vote for trump, you are just adjusting the information they are getting on trump is really, in fact,, trustworthy. it helps to remind them that 85-90 5% of the media is prone kamala and anti-trump. which tells us that when they believe they are the starting to legitimate news they are being propagandized, and brainwashed. that is the first step out of this bubble of blubber. if they are open to it asked them to watch the two interviews. you cannot watch both and walk away thinking that the media has been telling you the truth. maybe that will tell them not to let cretins like "the view" make their decisions. they had to voting for harris and then celebrating with a triple order of triple alfredo. >> hear he is. >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! he has bedded a lot of women

when he worked at that mattress store. comedian joe machi. he looks like the boar you can bring home to mom until he hits on your dad, guy benson! this navy reservist floats everyone's vote, morgan o tagus! and he can see everybody's bald spots. "new york times" best-selling author and comedian tyrus! joe, i always know this will be a heart and sexy show when you are wearing your members only jacket. sky-blue. skype blue. >> i am not a model, greg. >> greg: yes, you are. i do not know what to follow that up with. >> it is interesting we talk about how sexy i am because that

contrast the strategies between harris and trump running for president. harris is running to hook up on election night she will tell thank lies, trump is running for a good four year relationship so he is telling you hard truths. when hear he says i do not want to ban fracking that is likely saying i am a moving producer, secret agent, that does not have toenail fungus. when trump says we will have to shoot some drug dealers in the head? that is like me saying do not spend it so much money on your nails and handbags it is stupid and nobody cares. [laughter] >> greg: you do not realize how brilliant that analogy is. i am so going to repeat that word for word tomorrow. and i'm going to take credit for it. >> that is fair enough uri boss -- you are my boss. >> greg: do not forget she is angling for a one-night stand.

and you are expecting a four-year relationship from him you are expecting specifics. whereas voters with kamala will show up and disappear. what say you all well manicured one? >> what was interesting about the opera exchange was how clearly under or unimpressed opera was. opera has interviewed a lot of very impressive people over the years over herself is very unimpressive. she was watching this person across from her and that her and that internal monologue must have been something. because she was not loving what you heard. there were a few times, generalist do not ask kamala follow-up questions of her about anything oprah did a version of a follow-up where she would trail off and the word salad and say what you were saying with -- is it your plan is this. and harris would say exactly. and harris is like i should be in that seat. you could see it coming out of

your eye balls. >> greg: how dangerous would president harris be given the fact that we really do not know when terms of foreign policy what this will do. she does not commit to anything. >> not to be hyperbolic. >> greg: by the way, you should have cleaned up tonight. >> sorry, i will try harder next time. >> literally greg walks into the green room and says you look awful. >> he just likes to pull my hair like we are on the playground because he actually likes me. >> greg: that was just a couple years ago. >> listen, how could you not be concerned about president harris? under her and by then we have seen the worst war in europe sense world war ii, onto the two of them are u.s. navy in the middle east to, are u.s. navy ships are experiencing more compact and more action that they have seen sense world war ii. so if you are xi jinping and you

are making the calculation of what you want to do with taiwan or the philippines this is open season for despots and dictators around the world. this will be a really scary place the pentagon announced today that you -- they are sending troops around the world. dish should be a deterrent to rogue states. >> greg: speaking of rogue states cacti risk, i find it hard to believe that this race will be closed. >> it is not, it is not close. listen, even the audience, whenever a woman plays with her hair while she is on tv of all places you know it [bleep] is not going well. at one point she did the cacti have never seen oprah ever go and at one point it was because it was snatch but the more answers you pulled out of her it was like this is not it. to the point. [applause]

>> to the point where they have not changed audience members seats during the show which means that was cut. they had to take breaks. there was a break there was probably a water break where she went back to her team. if this was a fight and that was her corner they ran out of tableaux to throw. like we keep throwing tableaux and she keeps going out there. we have to work on the fifth because this will be over by 10:00 eastern. the american people just like you saw what happened with budweiser it is not the ones in the camera it is they once were working. i think we said it best when we say we have seen enough. >> greg: i hope you are right. the hot mess gets endorsed byec the irs.au get back to better breathing with fasenra, an add-on treatment for eosinophilic asthma that is taken once every 8 weeks.

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♪ ♪ >> a story in five words. >> greg: irs endorses harris for president. this is amazing the national treasury employees union i did not even know you could have a union and the government representing various federal workers, irs agents, say they are backing kamala because of her investments to rebuild the irs under the inflation reduction act. think about that. that inflation reduction act was a payoff for votes. >> it doubled the size of the irs and the irs is like think you will like you we want you to win. it is remarkable, a that the irs employees have a union that should not be a thing but apparently it is a thing. they put out this glowing endorsement they said she shares

our values. the trump campaign should just put this announcement out as an advertisement of its own. the hero's campaign should say thank you for the endorsement let's not tell anyone. because the tax collectors love me is not necessarily the biggest win politically that i have ever heard of. but good luck because they know where their bread is buttered and they see somebody who will have their back. kamala harris will have the back of the irs no doubt about that. >> greg: it is like they are endorsing trump by saying if you vote for trump our gravy train will stop. >> let's hope that is what everybody will get from it. not only did she give all of that money to the irs through the inflation reduction act, whatever it was called, but the additional money for the next fiscal year is another $104 billion on top of it. so it is like the legal payoff she is giving them and proposing billions, not millions, we are talking about billions of dollars. of course they are voting for

her that should not be a surprise. i would say by the way i think it is really hard for federal employees to get out of the unions i think they opt to end whenever you get a paycheck. it takes quite a bit of an effort to not be part of the union. i remember this when i was in treasury. >> greg: it is interesting because tyrus, because the irs ever gone on strike? wouldn't that be amazing? i have never heard the irs going on that picket line. >> i would join. >> greg: yes. people who collect your money never go on strike. >> i did not understand why people are not more excited about this. this is like getting a free colostomy bag sent to your house. so excited? go to the doctor for tonsils and get castrated? i think this speaks volumes and i would be running this all day. there should be nothing else

like the pool who ruined your life love her a lot. which means ipso facto she is going to ruin your life as well. this goes back to the previous segment where i said by 10:05 eastern this is a rapid. they are so desperate like some genius in the back said they be the irs will endorse them and really turn this around. because nothing gets us more excited than sharing the same views as the irs. >> greg: i hope you are right. >> that has never been said. >> greg: no. >> this is an irs household. you will have some respect. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: this is an irs... joe, when you step back and you look at all of her endorsements she is, i mean liz cheney? dip cheney?

lon chaney. i don't have any more. >> you have around, you you have putin, i get it. you really glazed over my irs strike joke i was going to make. i do not know how you strike when you have nothing to bargain for. at least with the teachers union strikes your kids are out of school which is slightly worse for the kids then being in school. but it just goes to show that kamala will benefit government workers, are only two plans to help american workers are to expand the amount of government workers, or trying to force panda express to pay six figures to work at panda express. not a lot there. >> greg: it is true. the only way to create jobs is through the expansion of government. >> they are forcing jobs that should be on the lower end of the spectrum because they are not skilled labor. these people do not deserve good

wages but it is like they won't be able to survive if they keep raising the minimum wage. >> greg: i never understood the name panda express because pandas are so slow. all right. i did not care if you don't like it. up next, he is the president still, but passes his meetings to jill. upset stomach iberogast indigestion iberogast bloating iberogast thanks to a unique combination of herbs, iberogast helps relieve six digestive symptoms to help you feel better.

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video of the day. [applause] >> greg: biden gets all yelly about the leader from new delhi. are video today comes from a mental case who on saturday forgot who -- who he was introducing at oppressor in delaware. >> i want to thank you all for being here. and now who am i introducing next? who was next? [laughter] >> distinguished guests, the prime minister of the republic of india. >> greg: oh, my god. can you blame it joe? the only indian that he knows is liz warren. give him some credits at least he did not say 7-eleven.

never forget. on a friday dr. jill led one of her husband's last cabinet meetings to talk about women's health issues because she is a doctor, remember? roll it. >> the first time that jill has joined us i would like to turn it over to jill on the comments that she has. >> i am here my first time at a cabinet meeting to thank you for the incredible progress we have made on women's health research. it is time to write to do story of health care in this country where everybody can lead healthier lives. thank you. [applause] >> greg: yes. he is already trying to figure out who she is. the thing is, nobody voted for jill or kamala and yet here they are pushing the levers of power, and the wheelchair. kind of cute dr. jill has made more progress making the dead walk than dr. frankenstein.

morgan, you have been in government who is running the government right now. it was in charge. >> i think maybe her eye mean she was leading the cabinet meeting. it wasn't like a minor faux pas, this was the world's largest democracy. and indians, not us, they are the largest. there was no relationship in the world probably more important than what we have with india especially if we are trying to counter china. it is a massive faux pas and also remember when trump was president of? modi came to the u.s. and they did howdy modi. so 70,000 people in texas for modi and then you have biden you can't even remember his name are even which prime minister is this. >> greg: is that next? is that incredible. >> i thought i had to -- i forgot i had to pick up my order at the fast food place. who ordered a burger with extra

cheese? who is next? i don't have all day. i think it is funny now that they no longer protect them. >> greg: they do not care. >> this administration can be summed up in one word, agitators. i used to think it was a problem because biden has dementia. but they all do the same thing. she used a bunch of adjectives but in what way were women's lives better? what factual moment was this? and this? cancer is down this. there was none of that stuff. they are really good at using adjectives which you would think they would be really good at explaining [bleep] but they are not. dr. my ass. this is ridiculous. >> greg: if i had a dollar for

every time i said that. >> okay,, yeah. so he is physically in a doctor's office, probably a pediatrician. dr. my ass. >> greg: so, joe, women's health. because men outlive them by years. that is a joke. >> it is tough to do women's health research, greg, do you know why? they always want you to guess what is wrong. [applause] >> i will tell you what, to quick comments. i am glad that biden doubted his handlers they begin to -- they deserve to be yelled that, his handlers have been tending to a guy with dementia who was okay to run the country so they deserved to get a little bit of cannot -- comeuppance. it doesn't make me think that joe biden is running a country because jill is running a cabinet meeting, it makes me

think that maybe we do not need a cabinet. >> greg: they need a cabinet to put joe in. guy, take your pick. >> i am still not over the video of him in wellington. i'm still not over the video of him angrily yelling who is next to? i am told that is what you yell at diddy's pool house. >> greg: that was unnecessary. >> thought experiment. let's pretend the switch never happen. let's pretend it was still him as the nominee. how would everyone, the rest of the media be explaining this? >> greg: exactly. >> they would find excuses always to contextualize and say that they are the crazy -- we are the crazy ones for noticing what happened. they do not care that this is happening. the sitting president of the united states have a good episode like this and we are talking about it and nobody is. >> greg: they do not seem to

mind that the first ladies were in a cabinet meeting. there was no journalist at all? they aren't even sending flirtatious texts to rfk jr. i do not know why i work that into their but i thought it was funny. coming up! why dudes who did it time are against a migrant crime. >> if you are in the new york area and would like tickets to see "gutfeld!" go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and clickco on theld link to join our studio audience. powerful cold and flu symptom relief with a honey-licious taste. dayquil honey, the honey-licious, daytime, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, power through your day, medicine.

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turned around to his life now runs a group called ex-con for trump as a legal -- aliens a flood south side. what do you expect from this? >> i think we have to be fair, if you do not like endorsements from the irs you probably will not be a big fan of endorsements from ex-con's. so pros and cons but the other side can vote so that is unfair. this is not blacks against migrant this is everybody. they are not going after a particular racial group they want our way of life, property, ideals, what we are seeing from a lot of violence that is not being reported they have discovered that a lot of people especially people who have been arrested and profiled, they are not getting, they are getting treated worse than these illegal

immigrants are. i think that is the issue. like wait a minute at least be fair are at least be across the board. we see the venezuelan gangs take over apartment complexes. like that is not happening here. that is driving people crazy in the cities. all of these things that happen with boots on the ground the media will glaze over because it is not part of their mission. i think this is an outrage hopefully they can draw more attention to it because the last thing you want mad at you is a ex-con group. >> greg: you are popular among the ex-con community, you do a lot of work at the prisons. >> greg, i have spent a lot of time on the streets mostly doing charity fund runs. but i will tell you what, are like a sea street gangs are not immune to the rigours of inflation. in fact in my neck of the woods the local pimp mobile is an...

so things have gone bad. because human trafficking of migrants is big business not just for hotels but there was a lot of money to be made and a lot of people getting squeezed every which way. >> greg: that is true. you see these hotels that are happy to take this money. like people in, guy, they are stealing jobs from american gangs. >> it is like if you have to pick between two violent gangs i am going to america first. [laughter] >> usa! usa! usa! >> that is the first time i have ever been usa chanted in my life that is the best context of her. but trump could probably run with this. you could say we love the big beautiful american gangs. so much more than the others.

>> greg: you have the red, the blue, i'm white. >> or gang colours are red, white, and blue, damnit. >> greg: morgan, i started thinking about how you do not hear the blood and the crypts anymore is that because they were all pushed out by gangs from the south? >> maybe they could be the boarder tzar. i'm serious. i was at the border last week they have no control. so maybe we need some gang on gang action at the border it can't get any worse. >> greg: i keep thinking it can't get any worse. but do you remember who predicted this? some guy on an escalator said this would be an issue coming up and he was called racist by

people. >> you always call somebody racist when you do not have an argument. that is the new i am not qualified to have this debate with you so i am going to call you names to make myself feel better and everybody to agree with me. >> greg: chicago getting rid of this technology what is it called? shot spotter. >> shot spotter. 800 people are walking around alive today because the police were alerted. if you want to take away a new tool for law enforcement and you do all of these things, the one thing that is helping people you have a problem with because somebody might, if you are on their it goes off for guns, not colour. so if your hand is black and you have a gun so what? if you have a gun you are committing a crime. >> greg: send in a more gangs from martha's vineyard, i say. did i say that? she did. she did. she took off her clothes, toz.

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be so proud, a girl's dream is to bang 600 dudes. i found this in "the new york post" so it must be true. australia's most sexually active women has made it a challenge to have sex with 600 men in 2024. she says she has only slept with 365 people last year and her dad is proud. so you go, girl. >> she is maybe a .5, not as hot as most of the women that i date but i will say this, i do not necessarily think this is a good idea but i do think it is good to have goals in life. but her goal for people to make love to is actually 599 people per year higher than mine. because even as a male model i know that looks are fleeting and actions have consequences that

you sometimes don't see coming. i wonder what life will be like when she is not as attractive and 600 men do not want to sleep with her. you want to play the long game in life. >> greg: that is true. guy, it seems to me that she has totally embraced this instant gratification idea at the expense of, say, the rest of her life. >> she is liking there for three seconds and then she is like who is next? i am a practical person, i am a logistics guy. >> greg: yes. >> how does this work of? that is roughly two people every day. does she have a job? are is this the job. >> greg: this is the job she is on only fans. i heard she slept with 16 people in one day. >> does that count? 16 people in one day? >> we might have to disqualify that. >> is she going for some kind of

world record. >> greg: i do not know. i'm just amazed she made a point to say that her parents were proud of her for following her dreams. morgan, do you believe that her parents support her? >> i do not believe her parents and i do not believe her. the one thing she definitely is is an attention... and that is for sure. how do you keep track of this? do you have an excel sheet. is that colour-coded. if i have to meet 600 people for business meeting that would be pretty tedious. so come on it is all [bleep]. >> greg: does she have a fitbit? something she wears on her vagina? >> she wears a harness. >> greg: tyrus? >> first of all it will be the longest maury povich episode of

her, trying to find wonder if a- when she is done with the interview if there is a box where she can meet the team. i would like to thank god for shining down on me, i would like to thank my sponsors, baby oil. bill c- there are moments like this where you have to say to parents this is why sometimes tigers eat their young. you probably should have eaten this one. >> a greg, my parents were proud of me when i graduated from college and they went and attended that. i do not think they are that crowd. >> when she gets tired is dad there? come on, sweet art. 55 more two. we're almost there. i contact. >> greg: you know what it is? if you are, the best judge of

weather or not your parents are proud of you is if they can actually be in the room with whatever you are doing. >> exactly. >> do you think he has a sign, that's my daughter? >> greg: exactly. that is my daughter. he just claim she is very discriminating in choosing partners. she won't sleep with anyone, just everyone. >> no conservatives, anybody who voted for trump. >> greg: all right, don't go awaywe will be right back. i love that my daughter still needs me.

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>> greg: out of time! our guests! trace gallagher is up next. i love you all we're out of time. [applause] >> trace: good evening i am trace gallagher, it is 11:00 p.m. on th