wrongful conduct caused a catastrophic injury or death, call klein. inspector. this is an election year unlike any other. america is ready, and so are we. democracy 20 for your freedom. your vote. all right. unfortunately, that is all the time we have left this evening. this friday night. as always, thank you for being with us. thank you for making the show possible. please set your dvr so you never, ever, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of hannity the news. any time, every time, all the time. foxnews.com hannity.com. but in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld. he's standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great weeken.

i know. i, i understand it's friday, so you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guest. he's an outspoken guest with an impeccable chest. trump transition team co-chair robert f kennedy jr. she makes moonshine and hosts the bottom line. fox business anchor dagen mcdowell. this man is iconic. and his legs are bionic. fox news contributor johnny joey jones. and finally he makes tough guys shiver and old ladies quiver. new york times bestselling author, comedian and former nba tyrus. all

right, well, i'm done. all right, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. greg's leftovers. here we go. all right, it's leftovers. where i read the jokes we didn't use this week. and as always, it's my first time reading them. so if they suck, we'll make joe mackey listen to every speech made by kamala harris. all right. the ladies of the view said they won't dress up for halloween this year because it's too close to election day, and because wearing scary masks would be redundant. also, joy already ate all the pumpkins. so what did the view go as last year? i think we have a picture. oh, terrible, democrat political strategist james carville said that if donald trump wins, trump will start rounding up young black men who knew trump was a kardashian? yeah. thank

you. all right. i appreciate that. president biden is in berlin for talks with german leaders on ukraine. he said his first priority is to meet with this guy. a dangerous venezuelan gang has now taken over at least four apartment complexes in san antonio. residents say the constant gunfire is offset by the free landscaping. can't tell if it's racist, can you? earlier this week, hillary clinton said donald trump is unqualified to be president because he's increasingly unstable. she would have said more, but she had to get back to planning her next murder. look, i mean. during a campaign stop this weekend, donald trump is

expected to work the fryer out of pennsylvania mcdonald's, which means, as a change of pace, your big mac will now come with a stray orange hair. terrible. a woman was caught trying to sneak a sword through security at laguardia airport. she told officials she needed it to commit suicide in case the in-flight movie was joker two. bath and body works apologizes for the kkk looking candles. it didn't help that the scent was of freshly picked cotton. nancy pelosi says joe biden hasn't talked to her since he dropped out of the race. to be fair, he now communicates through a series of blinks. a man lived 78 years, unaware that he had

three penises. wow. that must have been some beer belly. it's okay. you don't have to clap. wow. a new study reveals that gen z would rather be models than doctors. makes sense if you're a doctor, you've got to put a finger in people's. if you're a model, you just have to put a finger down your throat. oh, terrible. ooh, terrible. al pacino says there are advantages to being a new dad. at the age of 84. for one, the family saves money buying diapers in bulk. and finally, to break the guinness world record for the largest pair of jeans, a chinese company assembled a pair with a 190 foot waistline. needless to say, they're calling the design the christy. all right, she's a friend. let's do a monologue.

so a new poll shows how supporting donald trump hurts your chances in the dating scene. 43% of people between the ages of 18 and 34 said they would have a more negative view of a date if they voted for trump. on the flip side, only 19% would view a date more negatively if they voted for kamala harris, which means that the right is more tolerant than the left, or that will bang anything, even stupid chicks. now i'm no expert in dating. i haven't been on a date since women started having penises. but the bigger picture is how people now attach moral judgment to political alliances, which only seems to go one way. no one ever morally condemns the liberal ant at thanksgiving. it's only the conservative uncle. and this trend is everywhere, not just the dating pool. take a look at our schools. california teacher allegedly held a mock election

and rewarded harris supporters kids with a pizza party. libs of tiktok obtained a phone call between a concerned parent and the educator. take a listen. you had told the class that whoever votes for kamala will get a pizza party, but those that don't will not be included in the pizza party. for harris. yeah, i believe only one period. period five had a majority for harris. and i and i said to follow that same spirit because the democrats are more for feeding the hungry free medical care, more services just pay higher taxes that i'll be willing to buy pizza for the class. so the other classes, because they did not for harris, they're not going to get pizza. yeah. oh they can. they just do what the conservatives do which pay for yourself. amazing. no problem.

so there's a pizza party just for the kamala kids, while those trumpy brats must be punished for holding a different belief. it's ostracizing, but you probably felt it yourself once or twice. i know i have in the old days when i was vehemently anti-trump, i had lots of famous and not so famous friends. then when i changed many of them changed too. they dropped me like a hot potato or in my case, a gorgeous small fry. now think about trump's merry band of motley supporters unapologetic free thinkers like rfk jr, elon musk, tulsi gabbard and then think about all the people they off by not taking the easy road and supporting kamala, but instead backing trump. did they lose friends? piss off family of course. now, i often heard gutfeld's changed. he's not the same guy from the red eye days.

well, duh. people change and they should, especially when given new information. i would hate to be the person whose ego keeps him trapped in old, defeating ways because they can't admit that they're wrong. that only makes you bitter and resentful. and if you're one of those people who expect others to stay the same, to please your own assumptions, it says more about you than us. something's missing in your life, and it's bigger than politics, which is why we can all take a lesson from trump's pirate ship of supporters. the rfcs elon's and tulsi tulsi's of the world. they're all vastly different. all previously holding antithetical opinions about trump, yet unafraid to adjust their thinking and forge their own independent path despite what others may think. it's not easy. certainly not as easy as just avoiding the resentment of others. we always talk about people having f-you money, you know, being rich enough so you can say whatever you want. maybe it's better to have few friends being loved and

respected enough by so many real friends that you can shed the people who dump you over politics. in time, they'll find out that they need you more than you need them. period. thank you. what can i call you? rfk jr. yeah. or bobby? bobby, i like bobby. it seems like we're old friends. bobby, let's go out back and wrestle that cow. all right. this this topic. i like this topic because i feel like, you know, this. you've probably experienced conflicts and fissures from family and from friends, right? yes. yeah. care to share any specifics? well, you know, i was interested in this because of what? the observation you made about tha.

it's kind of a paradox that democrats see themselves as the party of tolerance. and i think, you know, there's intolerance, there's vitriol, there's poison, there's anger on both sides. but i found that it's more that the democrats are much less tolerant of somebody holding different political beliefs. there's the tribalism and the orthodoxies are much more insidious than the democratic party. and it's disturbing to me because i think the polarization is the worst thing for our country. and, you know, we have huge problems in this country, but we also are very resilient. but we're never going to solve them if we don't, if we're not able to come together. and i think that the democrats are much more tend to be much more intolerant than republicans on on these issues. that's my personal observation. and it's interesting to see that validated by that poll. i mean,

i've noticed it all my life as a as a lefty and then a righty, and then nothing. you know, i do think that for some reason, liberal politics are tied more to the ego than maybe republican politics, because republicans put their politics in a box. you know that you have family, you have job, you have sports, recreation. but for democrats, politics is part of your identity. maybe that's what it is. i don't know, that's my thought. there's als, i think that the people who these days who tend to be republican or conservative, are much more inclined to critical thinking. and i think that used to be the purview of the democratic party. but you had said before that we left the democratic party that ellen, myself and tulsi, i think all of us feel like the democratic party left us. yeah. the party of robert kennedy of john kennedy doesn't exist anymore. that was the party that was

anti war. it was the party that was against censorship. it was the party that opposed the corporate takeover of our government. today, the democratic party is the party of war. it's the party of censorship. it's the party of wall street, of big pharma, big tech, big data, big banking and the military industrial complex and big butts because of the diet. yeah, well, i yeah. true. big food, but all the but all big butts are not a bad thing. no, that's true, that's true. okay. because people who don't skip leg d dagen i want to flip the roles. would you date a man. what. sorry. oh i never skips leg da. he doesn't have any skip leg day. terrible. absolutely terrible. dagen i love you. would you date a man or even a woman. you never know who

supported kamala. no. but let me flip that. yeah. if a man can avoid dating or shacking up with a kamala kind of gal, that's a blessing from on high. like a kamala kind of gal versus celibacy or self-love. you got to choose the self-love and the celibacy all day long. and i'm talking about a type of person, the type of person. when a dude wants to introduce the kamala kind of gal to his parents for the very first time, and she shows up half an hour late for church, and you say you're half an hour late for church. we got to sit in the balcony now, and she says, i twisted my ankle on the way here. i should be in the emergency room. why are you worried about me or who gave

you permission to go to the bengals game with your buddies? i don't remember giving you permission to go to the bengals game with your buddies. what woman did you talk to? who gave you permission to go to the bengals game with your buddies? we were going to go bathmat shopping on sunday. that's the kamala kind of gal. so if she runs for the hills, kiss the ground that she left in her wake, joey. what do you make of that california teacher? those kids that was pretty amazing. i kind of agreed with her when she tied a bow on it. i mean, she's like, they can do what conservatives do and pay for it themselves. amen. yeah, because this is what happens. all the kids that make straight a's, they come in and they're going to pay for it for the kids that don't show up to class so they can have pizza. right? that's the liberal way of doing things or the democrat way of doing things. what i love about your monologue is you invoke the idea of f-you money. and when you grow up in a 1966 single, wide money is pretty low. and

i've been there for a while, like i joined the marine corps and i was there like you know what i mean? like, i've got food. we're good. yeah. and so for me, like, look, you know, i hunt, i enjoy it, i shoot guns, i own plenty of them. i want a little bit of land. i raise my kids. i love my family and i don't believe because i got blown up somewhere that my responsibility to my community, my responsibility to contribute is less than what i'm owed as this victim that i could have been. if that makes me conservative instead of liberal, if it makes me republican instead of democrat, those words don't matter to me. those are just things i've lived and believed in. but if you don't like me because of that, then yeah, you know, $2 in my pockets. f-you money. yeah. nice. tyrus, i think you've been around, so to spea. any dating advice for the modern male who isn't woke? wait to see what the ufos are bringing. it might be something

new, more understanding. because i will never disagree with the great dagen mcdowell. but some of those behaviors she described, i've been experiencing myself and it's more conservative than i am. so i you know, it kind of goes around, but we're missing the most beautiful thing of your monologue was that the teacher had to reluctantly say five of the classes voted for trump. yes, one. that's right. out of the mouths of babes, my beard is safe. but that's. and one other thing. i guarantee you, those kids who voted for trump also when they said pizza party probably voted for trump so they wouldn't get the pizza party because they know pizza is bad for them. it's not the same pizza. they they probably had their meal prep from their power conservative moms, and they were not going to come home with dairy and stuff in

their blood, in their stomachs. so let the little and i guarantee you the little, the little chubby guys who are not going to recess or voting for kamala, let them have their little pizza party. but they can't escape from the really in-shape conservative bullies chasing them down. wow, don't bully. yes, he we do not condone bullying unless they're really annoying kids. okay. up next. why trump's the winner at the al smith dinner. that's a good day to cough. oh, no. bye bye. cough. later. chest congestion. hello. 12 hours of relief, 12 hours. okay. not coughing at yoga and taking. not coughing. not coughing at the movies. hashtag still not coughing. wow. mucinex dm gives

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room for one more. the zebra we do the searching. you do the saving. hulk hogan on one nation left trump mania run wild. brother talking it's our son, he is always up in our business. it's the verizon 5g home internet i got us. oh... he used to be a competitive gamer but with the higher lag, he can't keep up with his squad. so now we're his “squad”. what are kevin's plans for the fall? he's going to college. out of state, yeah. -yeah in the fall. change of plans, i've decided to stay local. oh excellent! oh that's great! why would i ever leave this? -aw! we will do anything to get him gaming again. you and kevin need to fix this internet situation. heard my name! i swear to god, kevin! -we told you to wait in the car. everyone in my old squad has xfinity. less lag, better gaming! i'm gonna need to charge you for three people.

all the work for you. call now and order ellipse. it's coming. your way. hey, hey, it's video of the day. trump's got the quips at the dinner. kamala

skips. our video of the day comes to us from the al smith dinner, a fundraiser for catholic charities here in new york. historically, presidential candidates attend together, setting aside their differences for a good cause and the chance to brutally roast each other. and trump did not hold back. roll it. chuck schumer is here looking very glum. doesn't he look glum? he looks glum. but look on the bright side, chuck, considering how woke your party has become, if kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman president. there's a group called white dudes for harris. have you seen this? but i'm not worried about them at all because their wives and their wives, lovers are all voting for me. a major issue in this race is childcare, and kamala has put forward a concept of a plan. a lot of people don't like it. the only piece of advice i would have for her and the event that she wins, would be not to let her

husband, doug, anywhere near the nannies, just keep them away. i used to think the democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods, but then i met tim walsh. well, i'd better wrap up, because mayor adams told me earlier that i needed to make this one very quick, especially the city is reserved. this room for a large group of illegal aliens coming in from texas. but much like jesse water, when the bill comes, kamala was a no show. the first democratic nominee to bail on the dinner since 84. and if you can't remember, the candidate in 84, that's why she chose instead to play a cringeworthy pre-taped skit. the al smith dinner provides a rare opportunity to set aside partizanship. who was that? mary katherine gallagher mary katherine gallagher, it's so nice to meet you. it is a very important dinner, and it's an important tradition that i'm so proud to be a part of. sometimes when i get nervous, i

stick my fingers under my arms and i smell them like that. i'm giving a speech. do you have some thoughts about what i might say tonight? it's time for a woman, bro. don't forget to say superstar. thank you, mary katherine. thank you mama la. well, that was timely. does anybody born after 1980 even know what the hell that was? but surprisingly, the emcee of the evening, jim gaffigan, who also plays tim waltz on snl, didn't let the dems off the hook. president biden couldn't be here tonight. the dnc made sure of that. you know, this event has been referred to as the catholic met gala. 22% of americans identify as catholic catholics will be a key demographic in every battleground state. i'm sorry. why is vice president harris not here? the democrats have been telling us trump, trump's

reelection is a threat to democracy. in fact, they were so concerned of this threat they staged a coup, ousted their democratically elected incumbent and installed kamala harris, in other words, all her dreams have come true. ouch. hurts more than my hemorrhoids. so, bobby, you were there last night, and i wanted to ask you because we were talking about this earlier. this divisiveness, this thick cloud of divisiveness. and yet you see chuck schumer playfully engaging trump. and it kind of bothers me because it's like on the publicly they say trump is satan. and then then they're like, you know, shaking hands and having comfortable conversation is schumer aware of the damage that his that his demonization is having when

it's not true, especially when it's not true? i didn't see from my perspective, i could not see schumer enjoying any part of it. yeah, okay. or he did look glum throughout. and you know, one of the one of the really interesting phenomena about what's happened over really since covid is that it used to be that that comedy was the purview of the left and that republicans were kind of at that time spouting kind of corporate and, and governmental orthodoxies. you can't be funny when you do that. no. and then all the funniest people on the left became not funny. stephen colbert, who used to be one of the funniest people in the world. you can't watch him anymore. yeah. and all the all the comedy is now happening on the, on the right. and even when i, you know, when i didn't

like trump, when i believed all of the propaganda against him and you know, and saw a lot of the things about him that, you know, that are or let's say, unconventional. but i always said he's got he's the most entertaining politician that we've had in my lifetime. he has great comedic timing, and he showed that last night. you know, he was really funny last night, really droll. and yet he got, you know, it was a generally a hostile crowd. yea. and he got universal laughter on all of those jokes. and, and you don't see that on the left anymore. no. you don't. you know, tyrus, was it a good idea for kamala? you know, what's funny is she did say in her video it's important to come together. and then she didn't show up. right. well, again, this isn't like we haven't seen her in public settings. and i'm pretty sure when her team found out that there was no teleprompter, there was going

to be no kamala. like, it's just she doesn't do well in those settings. we haven't figured out what interview settings she does well in yet, but we're pretty sure. we're pretty sure getting up there in front of people and telling jokes. and here's the difference, trump said. the ones that weren't so, so great, right? because he unfortunately, he didn't have time to prep because somebody made him late. that was high. but but he went and did it anyway. and even when they were bad, i think one of the funniest parts of the whole thing was like, well, this one's terrible. yeah. oh, wow. i should have read this one through, like he was not afraid to make fun of himself. now, in the clips there, there was a lot of tough jokes and the comedians were throwing real shots at him. but every time they did, he smiled. he acknowledged it. he laughed. he took it on. he was gracious. that would not have happened. the other side. we would have saw what we saw. when she who gets mad at bret baier, how

hard is it? like no one gets mad at bret baier and when she was screaming at bret, what was she going to do when he said that we would have seen a reaction that would not have been good for her. so she thought not showing up was the best move, which should let everybody know exactly where their campaign is at right now. joey gaffigan talking about mentioning the coup is like, that seems like a right wing talking point. but he's not a right winger. he's a democrat. no, i think he brought some personal animus in there, like, hey, you know, like he is not happy about how that went out. that's how it came across to me because it was it was less comedy than some of the things that that trump was saying. and props to him for giving everyone that might tune in something that they could watch and not need to turn away from. i mean, i can't turn into like, i don't get overly upset about what artists think or what celebrities want. i don't that doesn't stop me from enjoying their art when they're good actors and singers, but i can't tune in to the golden globes or the oscars or anything like that because they're not telling me trump is bad. they're telling me i'm bad. yes, he d