greg gutfeld this friday night will put a great smile on your face. have a great night and a great weekend. ♪ ♪

[cheering] >> greg: i know. i agree so much. objectify me karrick -- objectify me. go ahead. it's friday. you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guest. he's harder than a hezbollah pager cohost of fox and friends weekend hegseth pete. [cheering] >> greg: like the sandwich, this rubin is a pile of meat onto tasty bonds. host of the rubin report. and you can't control or even with a baby stroller "new york times" best-selling author katherine "kat" timpf. [cheering] >> greg: and heat hired a team of landscapers to trim his beard. we have got --

[cheering] >> greg: fair enough. before we get to know some news stories let's do this. >> announcer: greg's leftovers. >> greg: okay. i read the leftover jokes we didn't use as always it's my first time reading them so if they are terrible we will make their writer a nanny and send him to greg m off. an article in the atlantic that donald trump was speaking like hitler,'s down, and mussolini. at least he speaking german, russian and italian which is a stark contrast with kamala who struggles with english. according to the daily signal, kamala harris was admitted to law school per program for students with educational disadvantages, economic hardship or disability. all right, both of her parents were professors, which makes the educational disadvantage and the economic hardship sound implausible. so that leaves disability.

[laughter] >> greg: i will give her that. and nearly 100 members of britain's left-wing labour party plan to come to the states to campaign for kamala. democrats taking the minutes houseguests have been instructed to leave out glasses of water for their tea. [laughter]. >> greg: hall of fame boxer tommy hit man joined donald trump on stage at a rally in detroit. how ironic that he has bought 67 times, yet it is kamala's fans with the brain damage. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: low blow. in an interview, kamala claims joe biden was capable in every way. adding, you should have seen him bob and we've when nancy pelosi was stabbing him. [laughter] >> greg: when asked why she was performing badly with men,

kamala replied, come to my events and you will see that there are men at those events. [laughter] >> greg: leaving out that they were all waiting in line to use the ladies room. [laughter] >> greg: as subway hero daniel's trier -- trial begin his lawyer said he will try and pick jurors in the train car and for added reason -- realism he will add -- asked the bailiff to peon him. that's what happens on the subway, people. bill clinton called arizona senate candidate carrie lake physically attractive. she will look even better in her casket says one woman. [laughter] -- kari lake. and a small ohio town has seen it's population nearly double after 3000 migrants were dumped

there by the biden administration. on the upside, they have seen there stray pet population cut in half. [laughter] you and i can't believe he said that. and ai camera out -- mounted in a toilet we'll take photographs of people's ball movements to look for health problems. so it's illegal when i do it. [laughter] the one but if it's a robot, it's fine. >> greg: a daughter has been receiving reparations from her white friends even though she is not distended from. and a related story, ilhan omar's brother and never return the wedding gifts he received when he married his sister. just kidding. not really. legendary pop star cher gave a

heartfelt speech when she was inducted into the rock 'n' roll heart -- hall of fame saying that i just wish my original face could have been here. [laughter] >> greg: she is the first inductee to have more artificial parts then a trophy, so good on her. meanwhile, fellow inductee ozzy osbourne was the first acceptance speech to be translated from english to english. [laughter]. >> greg: one of world war ii's last navajo code talkers has died at the age of 107 periods eulogy will be given one of his -- by one of his surviving comrades. never fails. nicole kidman had to pause during her new movies sex scenes because she was exhausted from faking. you get used to it, said one woman. [laughter]

>> that should have made a show. >> greg: yes. according to a new survey, the average american consumes 80 pounds of sugar every year. although this guy really threw off the curve. [laughter] >> greg: enough. according to bob woodward's new book, war, joe biden was disturbingly frail and confused at campaign fund-raisers over a year before his debate debacle. i know, that's like finding out joy behar has a weakness for kielbasa. of course its news now because woodward has a book to sell. what would be the upside of letting the free world know they are being led by a corpse? in the book, woodward quotes, a donor sandra and one fund-raiser in june 2023, biden could not wait to sit down and only took to watch what prearranged questions. according to another attendee, he was like your 87-year-old senile grandfather. yeah,, i wish.

at a new york event the following month, another observer said quote, he never completed his sentences. he would start to talk about something, jump somewhere else. he told the same story three times in exactly the same way and it meandered so much. frankly, my impression was there were times it was though we did not exist. he was just rambling and talking. as to what came into his head. that sounds familiar. [laughter] >> greg: of course up until the debate disaster, the white house and the media all insisted biden was better than ever. sharp as a tack. running rings around staffers one-third his age. rumour had it even beat randy's record for the dead lift. [laughter] >> greg: yet we could see with their own eyes that it was [bleep] and the whole time woodward knew and did not tell us because he wanted to sell a lousy book. usually they have journalist standards that low, they have to

work here. [laughter] >> greg: but imagine what would've happened if woodward had reported on this 16 months ago. imagine if that democrats have been forced to rip off the band-aid and admit the old man was finished. maybe the dnc would've found a better candidate altogether, like this, or this. or this. [laughter]. >> greg: it would've been painful for them, but not nearly as painful as the past three months. remember, not only did harris help engineer biden's removal from the ticket, she still left him in place as part of the cover-up. she didn't introduce the 25th amendment so you not only had an unelected awful candidate installed on the ticket, you had a decrepit and capable leader allowed to stay and run the most vital country in the world fraught with tenuous relationships with other superpowers. thank you, bob. this raises another question if the 25th amendment was threatened but not in boat, why?

forget about joe. it would've been a disaster for kamala given the problems with russia, china and the middle east they could not let the country see her as president for the remaining six months but woodward kept biden's decline under wraps which led to the coup installing kamala without a primary. and once you betray americans and the most basic regard, it becomes that much easier to betray them in everything else. so if you are one of the dems and want to get mad at someone, it's not trump, it's woodward and the rest of the media who covered for this charade. bob could've saved you from all of this horrible fate, dems, but that would not have made the best seller list. [applause] [cheering and applause] >> announcer: he areas. -- here he is. >> pete, you had ate best seller you understand what i'm talking about. >> it's true, i could have spoken out earlier. >> greg: shame on you and

your patriotic socks. it's funny, this is always the case with woodward and other exposes. they hold onto the news that should have been released earlier because it's better for the book. >> they could've held onto that nixon news too for a book. but they had to get it out right away old bob. seems like he's playing for one team here. we know how that all works. i've said that for years, a lot of people have, books will be written. this is the only first one. you're pointing the finger at bob and rightfully so, but there are dozens of bob's. there is a jill. there isn't everybody else in the world who knew exactly what was going on even before 2023. they put their own political interest in front of the country. this is the first book, it will not be the last. we saw it all before eyes, imagine what was behind the scenes. these are probably the most tepid quotes he's got. at that it was worse. i bet he got worse. this was probably the most he

could say to sell a book. >> greg: it's a dog that wasn't barking. whether it's a state of biden's brain, the coup that followed, the revelations. the media should be saying, hold on a second. where were the journalists than we. >> greg, in 2019, joe biden told a story about a man he met named corncob. [laughter]. >> and he met this man at a pool while children were rubbing the hair on his legs and he than said that that is how he learned about roaches. >> greg: you are right. >> that's when i had a clue. [laughter]. plause -- [cheering and applause] >> greg: i have to ask you, we have not talked, in what, ten days now? what is your got telling you? >> i came on the opening night of greg gutfeld with an

explanation -- exclamation point, "gutfeld!". you are little-known cable guy. >> greg: little-known, while. >> men's fitness or something. and i came on the show for men's health you see, nobody knew, nobody knew. and i predicted you would be number 1 in late-night within six months. you did it in three months and that is why tonight -- [cheering and applause] >> tonight i will predict that 45 will be 47. [cheering and applause] >> greg: wow. so kat timpf, does it bother you when journalists hold things, that meant that this country and it still is by the way, is run by somebody who is not there. >> yes. but also, i kind of like you had

a bit of an idea myself without the journalism. whenever i saw him, 2023, that is way late to me realizing -- to be realizing this if you were to watch him because 2022 was the oil cancer. >> he got out in public and set i have oil cancer and so do many of my friends have oil cancer too. and the journalist covered it and were like right-wing media said biden said he has cancer and it's like, okay,, he did. and if your saying you have cancer and you don't have cancer, it's never okay. also that same year was the wear is jackie thing? saying out loud was very confused about someone who was dead. it's like the signs were not there. when i read this and they said a meeting in 2023, a year past oil cancer, people saw him confused? like, okay,, this book. i get it, interesting to people,

but for me, i'd like. this is the most obvious thing in the world. >> greg: that would be a great review for "the new york times" by kat timpf, like, duh. >> people say it was bad or who year before the debate but it's like they were years before. guys, come on. >> greg: what do you say tyrus? >> he was not shakespeare in the senate before. >> greg: that's true. >> but again, when someone is leaving with the ghost after they speak, you let them go. i don't know how any times he was pulled from the light that we saw on tv. but his invisible friend took his hand and said come with us, joe. come with us. and everyone's watching it is like no, no, no and the ghosts are like, we are trying to help him. come with us.

>> greg: it's his uncle who was eaten by cannibals. the food is good here. >> when october seventh happened and the president of the united states response was don't you have to know [bleep]. that's what we have. don't. [applause] and again, because kat timpf and i wiens live for prequels we try and find out where the word don't came from. maybe was a powerful word in the biden family crest. you don't know. my family crest is [bleep]. when i say that, everyone in my family says oh, tyrus is serious now. joan was there. -- joe was there and it goes back to his great uncle who you are talking about whether were staying human being has ever had in his life. was fighting in the air against nazis lands in to water was

sharks he swims when island it's the one island wear people eat people, that's a bad day. and before he could even say anything, he is grabbed by these natives, grabbed and thrown in the pot. the water's boiling they're cutting the potatoes and the carrots and as a go to put the lid down, we heard the famous don't. [laughter] [cheering] >> greg: and myalgic, don't go away. you see what i did there? that's a pro. [cheering and applause] >> greg: kamala this chances slip. [applause] what tractor supply customers experience is personalized service. made possible by t-mobile for business. with t-mobile's reliable 5g business internet. employees get the information they need instantly. this is how business goes further with t-mobile for business.

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♪ it's coming your way it's video the day ♪ >> greg: it's clear that she needs medical help. our video comes from msnbc where she is losing what is left of her mind. role it. >> as important as trumps fascism is and is the story every day, he is closing up to dictators, his obsession with hitler. what he said about our veterans and what he wants to due with the military against our political adversaries but this is what voters know right now. that he is killing us. i'm talking about us women. he is killing us. he is putting us at risk. he is making us afraid to have babies.

he is putting our reproductive health at risk so we can see right now what is coming. these headlines and very good reporting, by the way, that should not be questioned by idiots about what trump has set about hitler. that's incredibly important to know. >> greg: just want to get this logic here. i'm afraid to have a baby because i can't abort it. [laughter] >> greg: some sound logic there, lady. [applause] >> greg: so trump is hitler, he's killing women and anyone who questions the media or idiots. she stops short of blaming trump from marrying joe. would all these feet legitimate concerns if we had enjoyed a trump presidency and he did not do any of that and it's good reporting goes, it was her husband who reported this was the best biden ever right before scranton joe got sent to the glue factory.

[laughter] >> greg: speaking up, to hitler go on morning joe as many times as trump did? all that free publicity they could manage in 2016 and they will never live it down no matter how many veins pop out of because botox for head. and it was all that evil doing trump has been behind he still covers a shift at mcdonald's. [applause] >> dave, it's so funny, she admitted on a show last week by the week before she was seeking anger therapy. i don't think it is paying off. >> greg as a woman myself... [laughter] >> let me address this very serious lady. it so interesting what i they are doing by calling him all of these things. but -- by the more they call him these things, the more i think i am these things. they say trump is a fascist. and i'm like, i am a fascist.

and trump is a dictator. and i am like, that is pretty cool. since you use them so choice language, they have so shot they are lowed with all of the stuff that there is nothing left. they have seven or eight days to go completely bananas and she could go more bananas. >> i think you are wrong. i think it will be people going bananas past seven or eight days. i keep finding myself to say i can't wait for the election to be over just i can witness to people having a remotely normal conversation again may be. but then i realize that's not what to happen after the election. >> greg: you are raising a very important question. what happens to these people if trump wins? have they thought this through. what -- where did they go with this mentality? >> i sadly think actual real relationships among people are going to be destroyed. to your question, if trump wins, people who feel this way are going to be very angry at the

people in their real-life who voted for him even if this is their grandma or their aunt or their spouse or their best friend all of these years or decades or lifetime of history with this person is not going to matter because they are just going to completely make them all down to their little boat everything they need to know about you and real relationships will be destroyed for this. it's like you are simply for a politician you never met. >> greg, the secret that the msnbc people know is they want trump to win. that's ratings and clicks. joy behar wants, she said all trump would literally bring the air force in and blow up the view which i am four, frankly. [laughter] >> the precedents has been set because of seen footage of whales being blown up on the beach. [laughter] >> terrible.

>> kat has a great point. tyrus. let say yes, it's a grandmother grandparent, how could you vote for someone who would kill women? >> what i will do is i get a little sign on my house and say how many days without killing a woman. trump administration, 112 days without killing. [laughter]. >> this is so... speaking a fake, her fake outrage, i love the fact, you think they they would be better, at least have an example when they are saying this stuff. he is closing up to dictators. i for one would like to know which dictator is coming. does who is cuddling. is it vladimir putin who is the cuddle god. i feel like it's north korea. he looks like he's more to cuddling. who exactly is cuddling up.

to be fair. i think if you have the details and i think that cat would support me but if you know there's a photo of him cuddling up with gg or putin watching their favourite christmas movie would affect my vote we have nothing he's killing people as lightning coming out of there hair. men are standing up again. we cannot have this. it's a lot. >> greg: men are standing up. the world is ending. >> when you talk about killing women, riley comes to mind. >> she does not bring up title ix or the crimes like in riley that's against women. >> as always they gaslight and project about the very things they don't like. doubly back on the border weeping. expect cortes again to weep tears again on the border after the inhumane treatment of men and women at the border for the

last three years. i think 2016 was such a surprise for the lives. i think that someone like mika will have to take the day off. your member the safe spaces in the therapy and major corporations and universities and in newsrooms, there will be quiet places and safe spaces where mika can go and will put in a guest anchor for a couple of days. they will not be able to handle it it will be beautiful. [applause] >> greg: all right. we have got more. hilary is still a hater rambling about a if you have wet amd, you never want to lose sight of the things you love. some things should stand the test of time. long-lasting eylea hd could significantly improve your vision. more people on eylea hd had no fluid in the retina, compared to those on eylea at 4 months. eylea hd is the only wet amd therapy

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>> greg: hillary badger pardon because hitler's at the garden. the former first lady u.s. senator secretary and failed presidential candidate and scorn spouse hillary clinton actually said on cnn that trump was channeling hitler with his maga madison square garden rally roll it. >> one other thing we will see next week is trump actually reenacting the madison square garden rally in 1939. i read about this in my book. president franklin roosevelt was appalled that neo-nazis, fascist, in america were lining up to essentially pledge their support for the kind of government that they were seeing in germany so i don't think we can ignore it. >> i think we can. [applause]

>> greg: i mean, is appearing and madison square garden means you're a white supremacist should tell the new york knicks. [laughter] >> greg: does that make billy joel a nazi we he's perform there many times. he wrote uptown girl about christie brinkley not ava braun. by the way, that's not even the same madison square garden the building is in a different location it was destroyed in the 60s like trump destroyed you in your 60s. [cheering and applause] [cheering] >> my favourite part about this whole thing tyrus is she acts like this is her point about madison square garden. she looked it up after next, i think it was oberman who'd posted it. >> here's to cnn's credit, they did not ask that question. she decided to insert, she asked yourself a question about herself. to due not see that.

dk. that's a good question, why is he hitler? [laughter] >> the reason why he's in madison square garden's, sweetness, is because new york is in play. [cheering and applause] >> that's the real outrage. he would not be going here if his team did not think we actually have a shot and he's not here for the nazis, easier for the american people. [cheering and applause] >> greg: but also, it's not just about new york is in play. it's about the popular vote. i live in new york. my vote does not normally matter but it actually does now if you think about the popular vote. you need to have a definitive boom because if he gets the electoral count and it's closer whatever they would say this and that, blah, blah, blah, what do

you say, pete? >> i think donald trump wants to dunk on the lives like michael jordan did on john stark in madison square garden that's the dribbling sport on the libs' >> greg: when he left the jackson five... [laughter] >> he played basketball? >> something like it. >> greg: correct. >> i am astonished by a lot of everything you say greg. >> i don't know if you are a paratrooper, but now is when you pull the cord. >> i defer my time to mr. rubin here. i'm going to the rally on sunday. [cheering and applause] >> you nazi! that expends a haircut, you nazi! >> i did not know it was a nazi rally, i will have to talk to my assistant. this is nonsense. the last time i was at msg you

did a john stark reference game six nba finals if your member they ended up losing in the finals. next game in houston i don't all of it said, i don't think that donald trump is a nazi. >> greg: but when she talks about this, it begs the question, what are you supposed to due. if someone tells you that this person is hitler or a nazi, they ask you to do more than vote. they ask you to due something. time for you to due some the about that. that cannot be tolerated. like in her book which she did so eloquently slide in there. >> greg, i remember a couple of weeks ago when you invited me to that secret nazi rally and trump was not even there. >> greg: i'm so sorry. you have to admit the sausage was amazing. >> delicious. >> greg: kat? >> it's like everyone's hitting her so hard. i will try and thick of

something nice to say. the one thing i can say is she is really, really, committed to this bit. [laughter] >> i don't think i have ever seen someone in the history of bits more committed to a bit then hillary is to the trump is hitler bit. she shoehorned it into every discussion i have been in therapy on and off my whole life one of the things you learn about is moving on from things and letting go of anger because it hurts yourself and blah, blah, blah but not hillary. it's been almost a decade at this point. >> do you think that mika and her share the same perspective? >> i'm not perfect. i'm working on it but she is committed to the bit.

>> hillary unfortunately cannot be unburdened by what has been. [applause] >> greg: all right. time to move on. what tackle you missed most when you're tech is toast. >> announcer: if you will be in the newark area and would like tickets to see "gutfeld!", go to foxnews.co ♪ stay ahead of your child's moderate-to-severe eczema. and they can show off clearer skin and less itch with dupixent, the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists and allergists, that helps heal your child's skin from within. serious allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. tell your doctor about new or worsening eye problems such as eye pain or vision changes including blurred vision, joint aches and pain, or a parasitic infection. don't change or stop asthma medicines without talking to your doctor. ask your child's eczema specialist about dupixent.

's. >> a story and five words. >> greg: kurt cobain never had gts. during a recent interview famed british actress helen mirren said she field very sat -- he felt very sad that kurt cobain died at a young age because he never got to experience gps.

she said it's completely magical. does she have a point? [laughter] >> whatever drugs she took before that allow at least five or six months before you speak to the public. here's the deal. this is why when a celebrity comes out and endorses someone i will refer you to this statement. of all of the things he probably would've wanted to see, a child growing up her growing old getting a check from his music, the one thing his entire family wishes he could have gotten the wrong directions from a computer voice. [laughter] >> greg: kat, she does have a point. jimi hendrix would never have enjoyed any of the "gilmore girls" seasons. jim morrison will never -- >> "gilmore girls" is my least favourite sound. horrible.

but gps, what is so wrong to say that he would've enjoyed gps? gps is awesome. if it were not for gps i would be dead many times over. i think he also probably would've really loved zyn. it doesn't mean they wouldn't have enjoyed other things too. it's a funny thing to think about. >> okay. , so this goes to a larger question, rubin. a lot of these silicone valley techs brothers want to live in a time where you can find things to make sure life even longer and theoretically you could keep going and going. imagine if in 2025 you die at 85 and then you discover a drug in 2016 that enables you to live to age 300. that's basically describing the middle ages. all of these people in the middle ages missed out on all of the stuff that could've made

them live longer. >> greg, i was told there would be no math. [laughter] [applause] >> look, i guess what i -- what cobain would miss most is the fact that donald trump is going to be hitler president starting next week. i don't know what you said. but i'm happy to discuss that off air if you want. >> if cobain was alive i could safely say he would be in the trump camp. >> you think so? >> greg: i have no evidence. >> i'm just bit going here, the more i think about it he would've liked besides gps was a hint. >> greg: that's true. >> oh, we so believe it was an accident. all right. >> greg: is there anything you wish you could be alive for? i know what you want to be alive for.

>> i feel like your ai predictions are coming true before our eyes. the question is, will they come true before they turn on us? >> greg: yes. >> that has been your prediction were getting closer to autonomy, were not there. you are getting older, i don't know how many years. >> greg's protection as the robots would turn on us. that is greg gutfeld's prediction the production made in every sci-fi book well, greg gutfeld the sky we'll turn. >> there is a caveat, he is working with them. >> i would've loved to here what kurt cobain thought about jojo siwa. >> the thing about james dean never got to enjoy giraldo's moustache. >> coming more pages of this do you have wheat. >> i made a list of people that died young and the things they would miss and nothing is as good as lunch ripples. >> look at comes in a little

package, crackers and cheese. >> lunchables where around in the 90s. >> but mamma cass died in the 70s choking on a ham sandwich. >> the weight she wanted to go. >> greg: don't go away. mailing it i

[cheering and applause] >> greg: yes, you are watching mailing it in. >> greg: first question, if you died unexpectedly and your family had to clean out your house, is there anything they would find that would cause you embarrassment and will you now go home and get rid of it, kat? >> no. i tell my sister everything. everything. so if i die my sister already knows she will be the first one in there and she knows which drawer she needs to go to. [laughter] >> i tell my husband everything except for the stuff i only tell my sister. >> greg: pete? >> i would say my bank account because there is nothing in there. they would be like oh, dad's dead, we got the cash cow. holy cow, $86.

>> they look around and say there is 17 of us. >> there's a little note that says there is 17 more. >> greg: a secret family. tonight on fox nation, has a secret family. hosted by judge jeanine. [laughter] >> greg: that was my impression. dave, there must be something disgusting in your house. >> i think probably only the polaroid of the sleepover we had last night. [laughter] >> walked into that one. >> greg: shake it, baby. i don't even know what that means. tyrus. >> i have unfiltered and adequate judgements of my children and where they are at. i'm already dead so [bleep] it. i have a list. i have people that want to know what i really thought of them. i wrote it all out and envelopes to mail out. [applause]

>> well,. >> because it's the greatest last word of all time. oh it's from tyrus, he died. that was route. >> greg: i got something here. i would just go with my internet history. we have to be fast. what would you warn your past self about if you could send one message back in time, pete? >> say it with me. >> don't pull out. [laughter] >> makes no difference. >> that's not what i was going to say. >> i thought you were going to say. >> i was going to say x is. >> thank you, tyrus. >> what was the question? >> what would you say to your past self if you could send one? >> i was told there would be no

math. [laughter] >> i got nothing. >> greg: kat? >> about not trusting people turn out to be pieces of [bleep]. that's pretty standard. that's what everyone is saying. >> greg: tyrus. >> whatever your first thought is, don't do it. [laughter] i have to go here's a note. >> greg: i would say greg, that bowling alley in pennsylvania and a girl you see there, don't go home. she's hiding something. we will be right back. [cheering and applause

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