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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  November 1, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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♪ ♪ >> sean: before we go, it quick note, we will have a live show this sunday night, 9:00 eastern here on the fox news channel, we hope you tune in. unfortunately that's all the time we have this evening. is always, thank you for being with us, things for making the show possible. set your dvr so you never miss an episode of hannity. for news any time, all the time, had to our website. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld's next, have a great night. [cheering and applause] ♪ ♪
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[cheering and applause] >> greg: yes, thank you! i promise i will be gentle. it's friday, so you know what that means, let's welcome tonight's guest. he is the inspiration for mannequins, box and friends first host, todd pyro! she knows fighting like biden knows biting. host of morning, charlie arnold! she says it is a baby bump but it could be gas. best selling author, cat temp. and his tooth fairy needed a forklift. the best selling author, comedian on former nwa world champion, tyrus!
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all right. before we get to some news stories, let's do this. >> announcer: greg's leftovers! >> greg: its leftovers were read the jokes we didn't use this week and as always it's my first time reading them so if they suck, all dressed joe biden -- joe mackey is a baby and scent him to meet joe mackey. last night, dr. jill biden dressed up as a panda for halloween. at an event in the white house. and as you can see, joe dressed as his favourite character from the walking dead. but it makes sense for jill to dress up like a panda. after all, she is owned by china and never has sex. joe love the costume, saying he always wanted a dalmatian as a child.
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this halloween weekend, the university of michigan is hosting a haunted house. so what makes that? for one, they keep the lights on. a new study shows there's not enough time in the universe for a team of monkeys to eventually type the works of shakespeare. but for a few bananas at a pot of coffee you will get a book by wednesday. mark cuban claim there are no strong, intelligent women around trump. i guess you could say the same thing about doug emhoff. [cheering and applause] [cheering and applause] >> greg: a group supporting kamala released an ad targeting women voters married to trump supporting husbands that said, no one is going to find out, i promise.
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funny, those are the same words doug said to the nanny. [applause] a russian court ruled that google owes the country's media stations 20 do silly and dollars. and fines for blocking their content. wow. normally eat to see that many zeros you have to go to a meeting of todd pyro's fan club. the new york city marathon will take place this weekend. it is the only race where the starter's pistol is fired in self defence. [applause] >> sad but true... >> greg: after 16 years, andrea mitchell says she is ending her daytime msnbc show. she says she wants to spend more time being embalmed.
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this is the weekend we're supposed to set our clocks back an hour. this is how it works, you gain an hour this weekend and then you lose an hour when you watch this. [applause] troy is in trouble with her bosses it abc news for asking her cohost about a same sex dalliance in college. what hypocrisy, telling a woman to watch what they eat. barack obama recently told "people" magazine about advances that women made on him while he was president. come on ladies, you're barking up the wrong tree. he's married. a tech company has developed a camera that attaches to your toilet and photographs your ball movements.
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it is for people who don't have the stomach to watch fox and friends. >> we're just -- we're getting our cnn on right now. >> greg: this week, the rockettes welcomed animals for the christmas spectacular, including camels, donkeys and sheep. or as some new yorkers call them, delicious. finally in london, someone stole 22 metric tons of award-winning cheese. did someone say cheese, asked one man. never fails. [cheering and applause] never fails. all right, now to the news. there is promising news for garbage everywhere. depending on which poll you look at, trump is either tied or leading an key battleground states like arizona, georgia, nevada and north carolina and is gaining in michigan. meanwhile, pennsylvania is dead heat. but election maps are so red
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they remind me of the rash i got. but even cnn cannot ignore it. >> just 28% of americans, voters think the country is going in the right direction. there is not a single time in which 28% of the american public thinks the country is going on the right track in which the incumbent party actually won. they always lose when just 28% of the country believes the country is on the right track. if republicans win, come next week, donald trump comes next week, the signs all along with the been obvious. we would look at the right direction being very low-cut joe biden's approval being low and republicans really registering numbers. you cannot say you weren't warned. >> greg: you can't say you weren't warned... that something i often say when the doctor checks my. but. suffice to say it is looking pretty good for trump and the g.o.p., they have more wind at
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their back then joe biden after a whole box of five or one. [applause] [cheering and applause] >> greg: they love a joke... applause for. that means the mainstream media is now more terrified than tim walz at eight dui checkpoint. the more they attack trump, the more everyone hates them and not him. the more they try to destroy him, the more they destroy their own reputations. according to "new york" magazine, a few news executives are starting to face reality. one anonymous suit said, quote, the left-wing attempt to be platform trump after the 2020 election was the single biggest mistake because it forced him to create his own alternative reality ecosystem. and it only accelerated our own irrelevance. true, they chose instead to alienate half the country. having nothing in common with the people that they claim to
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cover. the last time they saw the inside of a pickup truck, nancy pelosi was still on her original eyebrows. [applause] another insider said it half the country decided that trump is qualified to be president, that means they are not reading any of this media and we have lost this audience completely. a trump victory means mainstream media is dead in its current form. is that supposed to be a reason not to vote trump? i was already going to vote for him just to keep keith out of women's bathrooms. but this is a way better reason. it's nice that they are starting to see the problem that they created for themselves. but the reaction to a possible trump win is only selfish. they are not saying maybe we should change how we do things, it's more like, what does this mean for our careers? they will likely triple down and start calling trump hitler, stolen and more.
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but if trump wins, they assume they screwed up. but if kamala wins, they won't. so by their own admission, they are copping up to choosing the wrong side instead of admitting to the failure of choosing a side to begin with. even if harris were to win, they still won't admit to their professional corruption. and if donald wins, there only change won't be to rethink the bias of their cloistered bubble, but actually lean into advocacy even more. the original premise of their industry was to show people the world. now it is to show the world who they are. rather than reflect reality, they reflect their terminal arrogance. so the reputations are worse than p. diddy but they keep applying the baby oil. it is like the news is a zombie that does not know it is dead but still is walking around and trying to do the same things over and over.
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no wonder they protected biden and now kamala, they thought they were one of them. all in search of brains. [cheering and applause] >> announcer: period! [cheering and applause] >> greg: but it is always okay to see you, todd. >> all of the bland words. >> greg: do you honestly think that if trump wins, there will actually be any reflection on the media for what they have done? or were they just simply triple down? >> they will triple down. this article was the reflection. but was so asinine about the article, they blame trump for the actions that they took that is going to lead to their extinction. the plan would have been simple and they would still be alive and have a future if they just followed, to your point, what their marching orders were at the outset. provide unbiased facts, let the audience decide. but instead, they got trumped
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arrangement syndrome and their entire focus was on getting trump. and they threw faxed to the side. that is why they are going extinct. you watch fox, even trump its mad at fox sometimes for putting democrats on. why do we do that? because we need to present both sides of the issue that the other networks don't. that's why we are relevant, they are not. >> greg: that's a good point and i'm surprised he came from you. >> understood. >> greg: people get all crazy and ask like why is this person on the five? have to understand that it makes your arguments better. you can't have a bond movie without a bond villain. then you just have some guy in a tuxedo, getting off. >> what movie did you watch? >> that wasn't a bond movie! but my point is -- what was my point? [laughter]
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>> is this wednesday night? >> my point is, the difference between fox and say msnbc, is that we know what the other people are thinking because we have those people here. so we don't get surprised. we actually understand that there is another world out there. they don't. therefore, they are suddenly realizing -- >> here's our republican, liz cheney. >> greg: that's true! what do you make of the fact that they may be realizing they are a relevant? >> i think that is one of the reasons why you see people like mark sucker berg, bezos refusing to endorse kamala harris when normally in ordinary times they would have been so quick to endorse the democratic nominee. i think they're realizing right now they don't want to be on the wrong side of history. a lot of people are realizing that because right now we are seeing the mainstream media take us down a very deranged, dark path. even kamala harris has said so
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many times, or famous line is we need to turn the page on the last three and a half years. not realizing she's actually telling people they need to vote for trump. obviously we don't want to get to an ultra-optimistic situation too soon, everyone needs to go out and vote, it is so important. but i just keep thinking of the best-case scenario. i definitely see trump finishing out his term. i would love to see j.d. vance having his time in the sun. [cheering and applause] >> i would love to see them continue the legacy. i'm saying go big or go home. >> greg: yes, you're going away. >> apparently there's a lot of people that want to date barron trump and their moms are saying this is the boy you need to make it happen with. >> greg: slow down! >> a lot of elites are saying the same thing and they are starting to hedge. >> somebody get greg a tuck sedo. [applause] >> greg: every time aware tuck sedo, penguins try to raped me.
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this whole thing, it was a good point in the new york issue about when they d platform trump it pushed him to create his own ecosystem and now they are ruing that day. it's actually pretty good point there but what do you say? >> the more he talks, there's more chance of them finding things to latch onto her he said this and whatever. i think everyone is pretty confident right now that trump is going to win. i do think he will but also, it is possible he wouldn't because men don't vote. they don't. men overwhelmingly, more women generally actually go out there and vote than men do. >> greg: it scares me because i hear that about pennsylvania and it's like dudes, you have to get out there. >> may be they will -- i don't know. but even people are saying it. don't be surprised which i don't think anybody would be. but weather -- answering a poll
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is one thing and going out and voting is another. >> greg: tyrus, make me feel comfortable about tuesday. >> he's going to say its not close. >> it's not close. the reason why is -- it's not even about kamala. kamala is just who they put up there. it is about the spitting in the face of the american way and most portly be american man in the american family. bud light tried [bleep] and we saw what happened. it wasn't people making videos and complaining cut it was the people saying we are not buying your product anymore. this is un-american movement because we have said enough. and president trump is benefiting from that, not from his warm personality, but the fact that he was saying i'm hearing you, you want policies, you want things fixed, and willing to do that and people said they're willing to listen. the other side doesn't say anything because they are convinced the american people are dumb. we don't know what's good for us. that's why they can put someone like kamala fourth you cannot
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put a [bleep] sentence together that makes sense to any voters. this is not about her. and this is them putting the foot on the neck moment to where the american people are going to be hurt so loud that they will be like, the next time you decide to run the government yourself, we will not be there. because that's what this is really about. joe biden was not running this country. you spit on the intelligence of the american people. that's what this is about. but here's the thing. no matter what happens on tuesday, there is still worse things that you could hear besides your person not getting in. rolex. >> nothing else worse can happen. [laughter] [applause] >> we're going to be okay. >> that is me as janelle from 16 and pregnant. >> oh, man,, my guy didn't get in the white house and then i get a phone call, nothing else worse can happen.
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there is always something worse. >> greg: all right, we must move on. [cheering and applause] but is he a misogynist? >> if you would like tickets to see gutfeld, go to our website and click on the link to join our studio audience. at harbor freight, we do business differently from the other guys. we design and test our own tools and sell them directly to you. no middleman. just quality tools you can trust at prices you'll love. (tony hawk) i still love to surf, snowboard, and of course, skate, so i take qunol magnesium to support my muscle and bone health. qunol's high-absorption magnesium glycinate helps me get the full benefits of magnesium.
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>> announcer: our view on the view. [cheering and applause] >> greg: thank you. mark cuban errors his linen by insulting tons of women. billionaire mark cuban joined the view yesterday from what appeared to be a private jet and trashed right-wing women. rowlett.
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>> donald trump, you never see him around strong, intelligent women. ever. it is just that simple. they are intimidating to him. he does not like to be challenged by them. >> i think stormy is intelligent she is very smart. >> he means on stage. >> greg: i know. he says trump has never seen strong, intelligent women. dude, you were on the view. [cheering and applause] the only thing strong about those women is the older of doritos and sardines. so, charlie, he did this middling apology, he said he can't nail every interview and then trump responded and said mark cuban, a really dumb guy.
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who thinks he's hot stuff but he is absolutely nothing. i surround myself with the strongest of women. this guys such a fool. he is costly on tv being critical and only for the reason that i tuned him out completely well president because he called me incessantly. very insecure guy. major loser. [cheering and applause] always has been, always will be. nobody likes him, nobody respects him. and he is unattractive both inside and out. [cheering and applause] can't compete with that! >> don't forget, trump also reminded us all of the low club head speed cuban has as well which you know makes cuban so upset. i don't understand why liberals have not learned their lesson by now. when you come for trump, you will come back at you so hard, make you regret everything you ever said and do it in the most
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trolling way possible. just think about the last two weeks. he worked at a mcdonald's exposing kamala harris, he has driven a garbage truck... [cheering and applause] to expose joe biden. and now he's exposing mark cuban who, quite frankly, would not know a strong intelligent woman if she slapped him in the face. >> greg: doug emhoff style! >> which he might like, anyway. i've been seeing a lot of his recent media appearances and i'm curious, is he planning to publicly announce his transition or is he keeping that for close friends and family for now? [cheering and applause] maybe he is the strong intelligent woman that trump needs to be surrounded by. >> greg: he is the woman he was waiting for. he kind of screwed himself in the comment by saying -- >> it's just that simple. >> greg: and he has never been surrounded by women, ever. so when you make generalizations -- you know i make tons of generalizations. you have to have some exceptions
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to the generalizations. >> and then he tried to say well, i'm sorry but you made it very clear. and i think it is so obvious that this was a terrible thing to say. i don't understand how you reach a private jet point in your life and you don't realize that that is not going to go well for you. you don't have to agree with trump. you can hate him so much and realized that there is probably unintelligent woman around him somewhere. and there are, of course there are. there is intelligent women around all kinds of people, intelligent women who are liberal, republican and to go with, of all the things you could possibly say, to go with, well, he doesn't have any -- you are not even attacking him at that point, you are attacking women for no reason, have done nothing to you. so if that is the thing you are going with, i mean in his apology, he should have called himself an idiot. [cheering and applause]
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i don't -- because when you say something, you expect a good reaction r but what did you expect, exactly from that? let's put it this way. it was too far for the view, it kind of sounded like. >> greg: there is a good segment. too far for the view. it would be blank. >> of all of the rooms people would be like yes! didn't get that from him. >> she doubled down with saying stormy was the smart one. here's the thing. there is a double standard. so you can say if you don't vote for joe, you are not black. you can say if you support trump and you were a woman, you are stupid. if you are a man who votes for trump, you are a misogynistic, scary husband whose wife lives in fear. because there is no consequence. mark cuban could have taken it
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to the next level because he knew in the area and where they are at now with the mainstream media, here's a perfect example. the comedian not connected to perfect -- trump and anyway who was known for trashing every group and that is his thing. his comment was said at one point on a 40 minute news channel that had to cover weather, sports, et cetera was 32 times. on cable news it was an average of 144 times. they will say it. but when cuban says it, only people talking about it is fox. and when they do say it, it's this, that, and the other because they don't have to apologize because when you start the conversation with the leader being hitler, and everyone else is a nazi, of course there is dumb women making nazi babies with us nonblack voters. so they can say whatever they want because there is no consequences. and especially now when they are
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throwing everything they can to try to shame people because this is what happens when you have campaign managers and out of touch ceos saying you node be great? i'm single and no one loves me because i want to be in my career, what we said that all men are bad and women had to secret vote? this is a great commercial. they are out of touch but this is what elites are doing and they have gotten away with it. their fear is when it's over, what is left for them? msnbc would have to fire everyone of their show hosts after a trump victory because where do you go when you put pictures of nazi rallies at a campaign rally? where you go from here? they are going all in. cuban will be all right because even if he says dumb [bleep] he still has a private jet. >> greg: unlike you. you don't even have a private bathroom. >> i go on the streets of new york which makes me pretty normal there. >> greg: get yourself cleaned up at the port authority men's room. >> don't you?
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>> greg: only when i'm lonely. >> in your talks! >> greg: when you look at people like arnold fortson egger, mark cuban, bill mark, pence, liz cheney, there always seems to be a personal vendetta against each one. like trump was mean to me. is that the case here? >> 100%. it is all of the ego of the left. and the irony of all this is so rich in two respects. one, they have attacked donald trump for having this massive ego and saying his ego is going to destroy the country if he is reelected. yet it is they are egos that, in effect, is destroying kamala's campaign which is a not strong to begin with. and the real irony of all of this entire thing, the whole campaign has been under attack on men. basically saying if you are a man and you support donald trump, you are the bad guy and that is not what we want for america. you know who is destroying kamala's campaign? the men. weather it is joe biden, mark cuban, tim walz, her vp
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choice, mind you, for that rascal of a husband of hers, doug emhoff. the four of them are literally cannibalizing -- [cheering and applause] >> i just give the secret. >> their undercover! >> i like that rascal line. >> spoiler alert, much? >> greg: when a crowd gathers, kamala. [cheering and applause] elvy, there's another option. ubrelvy works fast, most have migraine pain relief within 2 hours. you can treat it anytime, anywhere, without worrying where you are, or if it's too late. don't take with strong cyp3a4 inhibitors. allergic reactions to ubrelvy can happen. most common side effects were nausea and sleepiness. migraine pain relief starts with you. ask about ubrelvy. learn how abbvie could help you save.
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[cheering and applause] >> greg: even the democrat rabble cannot understand her babble in the final days of the presidential race, harris is
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making less and less sense. here she is in reno yesterday. >> we are here because we are fighting for a democracy. fighting for a democracy! and understand the difference here. understand the difference here, moving forward. moving forward, understand the difference here. what we are looking at is a difference in this election. let's move forward and see where we are. [laughter] >> greg: moving forward? she couldn't move forward from that sentence! my iq moved backwards! pay extra close attention to the end of this next clip. >> democracy can be complicated but we believe in democracy and the right of everyone to have
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their voices heard. it's all right. and i have thought for many who have harmed other human beings. [laughter] >> greg: tyrus? she has fought for many who have harmed other human beings. [laughter] finally she spoke the truth! [cheering and applause] [laughter] >> i'll take it if you need. >> that there are worse things you can say to people. i help people who harm people...
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god bless, at night, that's my time. >> i think it is an excellent thing to acknowledge to a therapist. [laughter] [applause] >> it is deftly worth exploring. >> you know, greg, the teleprompter went up and they cheered too long and she panicked. and all she could remember -- she couldn't remember the connection word because she panicked. this [bleep] ain't close, i'm telling you. [cheering and applause] >> greg: todd, what do you think she meant? >> i think it was the most accurate as a sync statement she has issued all campaign. hear me out. she has fought extremely hard to help the illegal migrants who have harmed american human beings. she has fought extremely hard to help the rioters in cities like
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minneapolis and sees throughout our great land that have harmed american human beings. and she has fought very hard to put boys into girls sports to harm american human being girls. [cheering and applause] come on! >> greg: charli, can you top that raging piece of rage? >> i don't think i can top that, that was impressive. but i will say it makes sense she picked tim walz because he wants to befriend school shooters. so the two of them go together quite well. i can just imagine though, looking for down the line in the future, 500 years, you have historians that are really trying to put their heads together and decipher what this woman was trying to say. and it is just the greatest mystery in the world. i don't think they will come up with an answer and there is no chance we come up with an answer here but it is very entertaining. >> who knew joe biden was a clearer speaker?
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[cheering and applause] >> greg: what you say? is this over? >> i think it's important that you realize is that, that's the first step. but she should talk to a mental health professional. rather than telling the electorate. >> greg: up next, dumb lawmakers get talking about jaywalking. [cheering and applause]
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>> announcer: everything is racist! >> greg: tonight on everything is racist, jaywalking has been legalized in new york city after officials said the law was discriminating to minorities. they argue that 90% of jaywalking tickets are given to black and latino pedestrians and they say that the areas with a higher minority population receive disproportionate numbers of tickets.
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compared to areas with dense or pedestrian traffic. but i ask, what happens when it's legalized and if there are more minorities jaywalking, matt means more minorities will get hit by cars. so what is more racist? >> does it though? i always thought jay lock it -- jaywalking laws were an insult my intelligence. >> greg: really? >> if there's a truck running, i'm not going to go. the reason i don't cross the street is not because of the little no sign, it's because of the truck. so i have always been able to figure it out for myself. [applause] but maybe i'm just exceptionally intelligent, i don't know. >> i think that is a fair litmus test. for everyone. when you ask what happened to your son, he got hit jaywalking, i'm so sorry you had to raise that. you know what i'm saying?
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it is unacceptable loss if we were like, jaywalking thins the hurt. >> greg: turn it into a positive! >> unknowing know what all? let them cross. >> greg: but charli, it seems to me that whenever there is something that disproportionately affects a minority, a remove the thing that could possibly make the lives of the minorities work. guys get out and then they play in minority neighbourhoods. so it just ends up -- >> there is a cyclical nature to it and it never ends. jaywalking is an art form and new york city. i jaywalk all the time. so there is nothing new here. because there is no longer a law in place except we have just made it into a form of race baiting. i can only imagine, like you said, if more minorities are getting hit at a disproportionate rate, does that make the drivers racist? is driving now going to be known as a hate crime? where are we going with this?
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>> greg: todd, that means that for once you could actually be a rebel. you could not jaywalk. you could just walk around and tell people, you know what i do? i don't jaywalk. i know that it's legal but i don't jaywalk. >> i can do that on my way to the real estate conference i'm perpetually dressed to go to. >> greg: yes! you got your wedding ring off so you go to the bar... >> i threw red meat to the conservative base, i'm going to go full woke and this one. i agree with this. jaywalking should not be a crime. everybody does it, there are bigger issues in the city of new york then jaywalking. so i agree with the far left that did this. booming now! >> greg: i know why you're doing this. because the new york marathon and you want the runners to get hit. >> and if we could throw some cyclists in their... everybody hates you cyclists! you're the worst!
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>> maybe he wants of the far left protesters who we always see in the middle of the street to get hit. >> no comment. but can i get the base back? the reason we had jaywalking rules in the first place was because they were put in place to get rid of the squeegee men. that's the issue with getting rid of them. we don't want the squeegee men back, do we? do you like what i did there? >> greg: very good. was a squeegee man a boy band? >> yes. late 90s. they were good. 90 degrees, backstreet, and sink, squeegee man. >> greg: what was their biggest hit? it was i'm going to make you wet. >> we can fix this. if you want to keep it a law, cairns need a makeover. we could have the karen's be the new crossing guards. start bringing karen's in because karen's stop and assassination and they need a repurchasing to stop blaming them for ruining all my barbecues. we need to start allowing them, put them in charge of crossing. it's in karen's out there.
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>> greg: don't go away, we will be right back with mailing it in! [cheering and applause]
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at splenda stevia farms, our plants are sweetened by sunshine. experience how great splenda stevia can be. grown on our farm, enjoyed at your table. (♪♪) >> announcer: yeah, you're watching "mailing it in". >> greg: great question from dial -- diabolical dane, what tv character from your childhood burst your bubble when you saw them out of character? >> tough one. the illegal migrant mickey mouse with his head off. it was a bit of a shock to the system. >> greg: that's a good one. mickey mouse when you were growing up and now you see him basically attacking tourists. >> and it's not a good looking mickey it is a deformed costume. >> greg: and it smells of stale. don't ask me how i know.
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>> amanda bynes. i loved watching her grow up on nickelodeon. have you seen her now? she's got a lot of issues. >> greg: that's what happens with the identity of session. she just -- she was also mentally ill. >> i think this question overestimates how much i was allowed to watch. we didn't have cable but my grandmother's house i mostly watched ewtn and mother angelica, that wasn't a character, she was a nun all the time. nobody knows what i'm talking about but some other angelica fans in the house? all right, yeah. >> greg: how was your bubble -- >> it wasn't burst. she was a nun on tv, i assume -- there's note off the clock when you're a nun. that's of the most challenging things. you can't clock out. >> greg: unless you are the
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flying nun and you just go to another town. >> this is very serious, greg. >> greg: tyrus? >> i have met a lot of them but probably the one that made me laugh and giggle the most was when i met tiny ooze or you know him as devo and friday. this bigger than life monster than when i met him in person i was like amen, how are you? >> is he small? >> well he slow. this is the type of stuff that mark cuban homes and on. >> greg: i remember i was a big fan of adam 12 for all you old people. and i went to a car show in san francisco at the cow palace and it was the first time i ever got an autograph and they were up on the thing and they didn't
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even make i contact. and i had the car show magazine and i put it up there and they didn't even look at me. i don't even know if they are still alive now but if they are, you old me an apology. i'm 12! jerks. okay,, i forgive you. call me. don't go away, we will be right back. [cheering and applause] if you have chronic kidney disease, you can reduce the risk of kidney failure with farxiga. because there are places you'd like to be. farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal,
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>> greg: out of time. todd piro, charly arnolt, kat timpf, tyrus, our studio audience. "fox news at night" with tracks gallagher is next. -- trace gallagher -- [cheering and applause] >> trace: good evening, i'm jonathan bond in for trace

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