[ ♪♪ ] as i said at the top of the show, we live in the greatest country god gave man. one of the greatest rights we have is to vote. this election is now in your hands. godspeed. god bless america. that's all the time we have left this evening. want to remind you, urge everyone to watch the fox news channel coverage and go out and vote tomorrow. exercise that right. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled, but a smile on your face, greg gutfeld is standing by to do just that straight ahead. have a great night. god bless america. [ cheering ]

>> greg: yes! yes! yeah. yes! , thank you, thank you. you pull my lever. happy monday, everyone. so i voted earlier today, and this is a sticker that pole workers gave me. very cute -- poll workers. here at nyc this is the sticker they're giving the venezuelan gang members. check it out. [ laughter ] and down in washington, they made a special sticker for president biden, if you can see that. i voted today. [ laughter ] and i'm dead. and it's nice to see that doug is supporting his wife kamala with this voting sticker. i voted. [ laughter ] after nailing the nanny. [ cheering and applause ] how could you applaud that? [ laughter ] but truth, tomorrow is election day. it's the day i play my favorite

game called looking for a poll worker under the age of 90. but things look so good for trump, democrats have already impeached him. meanwhile, our current president plans on voting, but only after he finishes his breakfast. [ laughter ] speaking of doug, he campaigned for his wife this weekend saying kamala did what she always does, quote, she put her head down and went to work. [ cheering ] [ laughter ] >> you might want to rethink that one. >> greg: and that's exactly what we need in the oval office, said one man. [ laughter ] [ applause ] little miss direction. the new york city marathon took place yesterday. no surprise, of the more than 50,000 runners, half are still missing. [ laughter ] coldplay's chris martin fell

through a trap door during a performance in melbourne. more bad news, he's fine. [ laughter ] later this month, the mcrib will return to select mcdonald's restaurants. that's the power of prayer, said one man. [ laughter ] and a new hand-held device may soon cure insomnia by turning off your mind. i think we have a picture of it here. [ laughter ] all right. why not. i'm off for two days. rick 'em. so what are the key differences between the left and the right? one side's willingness to leave alone. all politicians want power, but clearly one kind is more invasive than the other. so meet public enemy number one, peanut the squirrel. apparently the most sinister rodent since adam schiff, or he was until the state of new york

decided he had to go. his crimes seemed to have been something to do with living indoors, unlike half of new york city. i guess if he had a tent and smoked meth he'd still be with us. but last week agents from the new york state department of environmental conservation unleashed a five-hour raid on the home of peanuts' owner mark longo and took peanut into custody. five hours. probably took that long to put on the little handcuffs. [ laughter ] but thanks to a full 10 agents prepared for heavy resistance, peanut was apprehended with minimal injury. they must have spent the full five hours patting down his nuts. but for these brave agents of new york's environmental conservation, this was their bin laden. clearly peanut had to go. a rodent nazi. a nut-zi if you will. because in new york they don't want squirrels taking your nuts. just the pediatricians.

[ laughter ] now, peanut had a co-conspirator, fred the raccoon. obviously a criminal because he was always wearing that mask. fred was also removed in the raid, and like peanut, executed. no trial, no jury no due process, nothing. it's as if they were at the capitol on january 6th. maybe they were the ones who crapped on pelosi's desk. [ laughter ] now, the statement claims they had -- state claims they had to euthanize both animals so they could be tested for rabies after peanut bit one of the officials. yes, a bite that occurred during the raid. meaning the state claims they solved the problem that they themselves caused. they raided a house, antagonized a terrified squirrel and when it bit them, put it down. case closed. the city is now safe from one adorable rodent. as for the owner, he and his wife think someone ratted them out. turns out they have an only fans page where they post porn and

that page helped them rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars which they used to buy the 350-acre property. now, as a new york state resident i can't tell you how much i appreciate the state's commitment to my safety. you know, i was starting to think with all this crime and homelessness and my grant chaos things were going in the wrong direction -- migrant -- but now thank god, we're back to law and order, first with the squirrels. now, the joke about priorities is obvious. but the process itself isn't. big government by its nature only sees itself as growing bigger, and as it grows, so does its intrusiveness. but as they wish to control every aspect of your life, they forgo the basics they were initially designed to cover. crime, sanitation, homelessness. only instead to focus on stupid [ bleep ] like your pets, your lemonade stands, your pronouns. and why? well, what is government made

of? bureaucrats. the robots who feather their nest by doing exactly what they're told. think about it. did anyone during this raid just stop at any point and say, hey, wait a minute, this is [ bleep ] stupid. [ laughter ] this is crazy. this is nuts! [ laughter ] or was the whole thing just on automatic. as the old saying goes, just following orders. you know, we worry about the non-conscious thinking of artificial intelligence, once it starts, you can't stop it. but meter maids, civil servants, and state environmental control officers are already there, and they're worse. they're just following the democrat policy with the power of judge, jury, and executioner. the fact is most people are not political until politics enters their lives. you could be completely disinterested in the whole thing and then the government shows up to tell you that your kid's gender is fungible and your pets

are expendable. it's like parents who never gave anything [ bleep ] more until soccer and school, but then they realized the mean yacks are in charge. dish maniacs are in charge. maybe we ought to thank china that woke the average citizen the [ bleep ] up. i'm not saying peanut's death just flipped new york, but you want a red pill america, raid their homes and murder their pets. [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! he looks so young he gets fan mail from p. diddy, host of the "the guy benson show," guy benson. this anglo-saxon loves a good brazilian wax and piers morgan. that's not baby bump. she's just stuffing her shirt with stolen office supplies.

"new york times" best-selling author. and this voting booth is in airplane hangar, new york times' best-selling author. [ cheering and applause ] i'm going to you first because out of everybody here, probably in this studio, you own more pets? >> no, i don't, greg, that's not true. >> greg: okay. >> i don't own any animals, greg. >> greg: okay. >> no. you think you want these mother [ bleep ] coming to my house? bleep bleep find out. this bothered me on a personal level. i don't under -- their excuse was peanut bit them. what did fred do, giggle? you know what i'm saying. this is what these officials do. i had a similar thing happen to me where a person tried to break into my house in the backyard and i had cane corsos at the time, and my dog bit him on the ass for trying to get in my back window. now, when he was discovered my dog was hanging from his ass

because he was a good boy. >> greg: right. >> he didn't finish him. he held him. they came in and took my dogs. i cooperated with them and i said, please, keep them two together. they've never been apart. they were like no, problem, no problem. i had to go to court to get my dogs and the dog said they were protecting their home and you can pick them up. when i went to pick them up they euthanized them because they tried to separate them and the big one got aggressive. unfortunately this is not uncommon. the people that come in are power hungry. you raided their house looking for what? what -- the story about rabies, a squirrel with with rabies is not hard to figure out. >> greg: yeah. >> they have a little frothy mouth. or they look like hunt hunt booed when you get -- hunter biden -- they're aggressive and no owner would be holding them. they don't do tricks. so it's a terrible thing, and you know what, it did wake a lot of people up. and crazy, it could flip. so if you're on the ropes, if

you're not sure, and you want to get on the right team, if you don't want to vote because tyrus told you to, which you shouldn't anyway, or a celebrity, do it for peanut and fred. >> greg: do it for peanut and fred! [ cheering and applause ] do it for peanut and fred! >> their names will not go silently into the night. >> greg: guy, is this a great moment where a lot of people now realize how evil government could be. >> i was unaware until yet of this only -- yesterday until this only fans angle from the squirrel's dad. i'm a journalist. i looked into it. i can confirm that that is a thing. i wanted to make sure there was a fact check there. secondly, with all respect to our resident libertarian, libertarians are often very annoying. however, they are often right about a lot of things, and i

feel like the libertarian movement should almost, like, nominate, like, a dead squirrel as their next presidential nominee just to draw attention to what happened to peanut because it is the most cartoonish, disgusting abuse of government that shows all the wrong try orders and it's so easy for people to understand, and if you're not going to mess with, like, anything in the country -- or if you're going to, it ought not be pets. animals. people will lose their mind over that. and i think this is, like, a horrible story, but will focus people's minds. >> greg: yeah, you know, piers morgan has squirrels in england. >> we do. >> greg: they're black squirrels. >> we used to have red squirrels because they got eradicated. something about this story is utterly disgusted. i was reading about it. 10 people get sent by the government at a time when new york is riddled with crime and

homelessness and mayhem and 10 of them can spend five hours of their day coming after a squirrel and a raccoon. >> greg: yes. >> and the rabies line. only one set of people seems to me were behaving like foaming at the mouth rabid animals, and it wasn't the raccoon and the squirrel. it was the people that had been sent by the government foaming, furious, vengeful, murderous to eradicate the scourge of this famous little squirrel and his raccoon mate. if you were making this up it would be funny. but it's true. and this couple have lost their beloved pets. remember why they took on this squirrel. 'cause i didn't know the story. i looked into it. the squirrel's mother died and this guy saw this happen, and he took the little baby squirrel in, right? he took in the little baby girl. and then he has to have it

wrenched away by his own government and murdered. it is disgusting. >> greg: wow, kat, this is becoming an incredible powerful segment. >> i can't even think about peanut because it makes me too upset. >> greg: i have friends that could not talk about this. >> no, i have a feral animal that lives in my house. it just happens to be a cat. but it's found on the street. same thing. i liked your larger point that it's the policy, we had to follow the rules with the policy. this happens in government every single day. this is what government does. this is what it is. and libertarians are right a lot of the time for that reason. it happened to me this weekend at the airport. i was groped, like, ridiculously by the tsa because i'm on crunches. so i'm on a wheelchair through the airport and i couldn't -- it has metal, so i couldn't go through, and they had to grobe me. they're rubbing my stuck for 30 seconds -- grope. i'm like, it's a baby, right. and then they are rubbing each of my legs, they're rubbing my

butt, like, repeatedly, and i said you and i both know i'm not going to do a terrorism here. i did say that. so then they got the manager over. so then -- [ laughter ] but i looked at the manager, i said you -- i'm like, you don't even believe that. but they kept saying to me it's the policy. it's the policy that we need to touch your crotch as a pregnant woman with a broken hip. it's the policy we have to kill your pet that's loved you for seven years. the policy. you shouldn't is been living inside. that's the biggest problem? that he was living inside? i mean, i just -- but the policy. people don't think. and i don't like -- it's never been a good enough excuse for me. but that's the rules. maybe your rule's [ bleep ] stupid, inhumane, hurting people. what do you have to say to that now? and they don't have anything to say. >> greg: they don't. this is a thing that comes up in society. i'm just doing -- you find out even in customer service there are people that cannot go, like -- they just have to follow the path no matter --

>> nobody sees -- >> it's also the big powerful ego. >> greg: yeah. >> you know, if i was standing in their backyard ripping their tree out and the tenant would be like, yeah, that's the feral animal right there, we'd have to call another guy for that. but a little tinny squirrel, he bit me. -- tiny -- it bit me. i'm putting it down. kat, you probably just increased tsa jobs by 100,000 now. >> nobody is looking at a pregnant woman leaning over on one crutch while a lady rubs her ass and a man is watching and says this is necessary. this is okay. >> greg: i saw that video a few years ago -- >> i remember. the etchings of it. >> greg: yes. up next, do pollsters fib? how it's trending.

the polls are all bs. >> i'm kind of impressed pollsters -- every time a pollster, oh, every state is just a +is. every single state is a tie. no, you're cheating. you're cheating. your numbers won't come out in exactly one-point leads when you sample 800 people. you are lying. you're putting your [ bleep ] finger on the scale. >> all right, so, guy, this drives me crazy -- that's nate silver, an elections number guru. he says pollsters are skewing the results to show that the race is closer than it really is because they don't want to look like an outlier. what do you say to this? this is, like, it happens now. was this always the case? it seems like everything is always close now. is that so we keep watching? >> i'm sort of into metal nate silver dropping f-bombs, calling people out. i think was it yesterday or the day before there were four or five national polls that came out exactly tied.

48, 48, 49, 49, and he says statistically it's not possible. they're all hurting. i'm not a stats nerd, so i don't know if he's right or not, but it seems sort of incredible literally that every battleground state is roughly within one percentage point. >> greg: yeah. >> you'd think there would be the occasion the outlier. we've seen one or two where this person is up five or eight, and everyone goes, whoa. one thing i say about working here, you probably get this, too, my phone blowing up from people who assume we have special info about what will happen with the election. i'm starting to think about messing with them, i know it down to the decimal point, but i can't tell you. we've gotten our briefings. wyou're not privy, i am. you know who is really missed around this is dana perrino. he was like, don't text me! i'm not giving you personal

concierge analysis, and i respect her for it. >> greg: she gets very, very bitter and angry. it's scary to see that out of a tiny little package. [ laughter ] piers, this is what drives me nuts. we have 2024, 10 times the number of experts we ever had, but 1-10th expertise. we keep pieing on more -- 1/10th expertise and we know less and less. it should be more transparent so we understand. >> let me tell you how polling actually works, right? i'm not an expert. i'm not a pollster, but i'll do a little experiment with your audience, okay? who thinks that the people that killed peanut should lose their jobs? [ cheering and applause ] who thinks donald trump's going to win tomorrow? [ cheering and applause ] it's not too close to call. [ laughter ] i'm not seeing a 1% swing state.

>> greg: but, i mean, i guess you could say this audience might be slightly bias. >> what are you talking about, greg? they're from new york. [ laughter ] >> i thought that was pretty overwhelming. >> greg: no, you're right, though. and then they go and show the polls and the polls are not like that and you're going, okay, there is a contrast between the street and the guy in the office, kat. it's kind of like -- do you think there is a reason for this or am i looking too far into it? is there a reason why they're doing this? >> i just don't -- like, why can't everyone just hang out and wait? you know what i mean. we will find out at some point. and it's -- yeah, it is close. everyone says, oh, it's close, it's close, it's close. i don't really think about the polls that much. they don't mean that much to me in my life. we'll all find out regardless of what happens in the future. why do we need to know right now what the polls say? why the opposition with it. >> greg: it's our fault. >> it's the news. >> greg: so we have stuff to

talk about. >> exactly. we wake up every morning and we have to fill the bucket. >> this poll says this and then this one -- or you can go to sleep, wake up and then we'll find out. [ laughter ] that's my plan. >> greg: that's what i do with everything. >> yeah. >> greg: tyrus, calgary to bed o to bed -- but this problem i might have to sleep 'til february. >> we're going to be busy then. >> yeah exactly. >> listen, it's not close, greg. [ laughter ] and i'm a little upset that you don't know. you are straight smart. >> greg: yes, i am. >> you have been around. you are from the mean streets of northern california. >> greg: san mateo. >> you didn't play. >> greg: i cut my teeth at the hillsdale mall. [ laughter ] >> there you go. so if i'm selling pollster stuff and i come on the show and go, well, he's up 15 everywhere, back to you, bob, they're not calling me whack tuesday. >> greg: right. >> so -- back.

>> so you'll tell me the media that's lied about everything else, their holy grail is polls? we'll make up lies, we'll take a segment out of what he says and make it here, he's killing people, but we don't [ bleep ] with the polls. the polls is the holy trinity of truth. [ laughter ] the polls are just like stripper club poles in the morning. nobody gives [ bleep ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> but i do think there are people who are so seven-day forecast in the election and care so much -- are so invested -- they're trying to process it mentally for their own mental health to have something to think about, but i think in the process we obsess over it and it becomes bad for our mental health. >> i agree. it's like -- i'll coin the phrase, it's like watching water boil. i just came up with that. >> that's so brilliant. >> greg: yeah, because it will boil, but it won't feel that way. do you see where i'm going with this analogy?

[ laughter ] >> i like trip stripper poles in the -- i like stripper poles in the morning. >> greg: that sounds like a country song. >> yes. >> greg: it does. >> it is actually. >> greg: dems spread misinformation that reeks of desperation.

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[ ♪ singing ♪ ] [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: while america's deciding, democrats are dividing our video of the day comes from former president obama, if that's his real name. [ laughter ] while delivering closing arguments for kamala in milwaukee, he went all in on the very fine people hoax. remember that? roll it, debbie! >> maybe you're muslim american or jewish american and you are heartbroken and furious about the ongoing bloodshed in the middle east and worried about the rise of anti-semitism.

why would you place your faith in somebody who instituted a so-called muslim ban? who sat down for pleasantries with who will cast deniers. who -- holocaust deniers, who said there were very fine people on both sides of a white supremacist rally. >> greg: that's not true. the next thing you know he'll tell me his birth certificate isn't real. obviously the fine people hoax has been debunked many times, but i get it when prominent white supremacists like richard spencer are endorsing kamala who was an actually speak erred speaker in charlottes fill -- speaker -- obama has to create some kind of distraction. but he's 23409 the only one spewing nonsense in the final days. here's the new york governor on gop voters. >> if you're voting for these republicans in new york, you're voting for someone who supports donald trump and you're antiwoman, you're antiabortion,

and basically you're anti-american because you have just trashed american values and what our country is all about over and over and over, and you will wear this on election day. >> greg: h'm. so it's only democracy if we vote your way, but if we don't it's anti-american. i would say she's two faisted, but she's barely holding one together -- two-faced. [ laughter ] [ applause ] piers, there is no way that obama doesn't know that the fine people hoax was a hoax. but do you think this is like in his brain he's going, hey, they pushed this birth certificate hoax on me, all bets are off, i can do this? why would he do this? >> yeah, but the point about that is if you're going to make yourselves be on the high moral plinth and you're staring down at trump because you say he lies, disingenuous, graduations, et cetera, if you then do exactly the same thing -- and these are not stupid people.

i mean, apart from he looks exhausted, by the way. the sheer strain of trying to explain why kamala harris is going to be good for america is exhausting. putting that to one side -- the classic for me is the hitler analogy. the moment i hear them go down the trump is the new hitler and it's a bunch of neo-nazis, and i was at the madison square garden rally when all i saw were lots of jewish people, israel banners, and a holocaust survivor literally sitting in the front row. so for a nazi rally it was a little unusual. >> greg: yeah. >> so once you play the hitler card knowing obviously he's not the new hitler, and he's not going to murder 12 million people, and he's not going to perpetrate a holocaust on 6 million jewish people, the whole pack of cards of the high moral ground starts to collapse. (e) knows what he's doing -- omicron variant he knows he's dissembling -- obama, he's being disingenuous.

it's like the bloodbath comment. kamala, trump said he would be a bloodbath. did he? or did he say there would be a bloodbath in at industry if he didn't win? they are different thing. bloodbath in a car injury, actual bloodbath, people being killed, two different things can and they know it. so i'm afraid the high moral ground has a little bed of sand that is doing this at the bottom, and i'm not buying it. and i suspect come wednesday we'll see a lot of americans didn't buy it either. >> greg: interesting. [ applause ] kat, does it irk you when the governor, who is a democrat, but she's a governor for all of us, is basically saying you're anti-american if you don't vote for kamala? >> yeah, of course. and it's also so lazy. okay, if you don't do it it's just because you're anti-american and you hate us girls. it's like -- [ laughter ] okay. that's not true and it's so obviously not true, but you're

just saying that because you're too lazy to try to figure out why people still are. also i think it's a distraction because she has said nothing about peanut. >> greg: yeah, she said nothing about peanut. >> this happened in your home state, gov. >> but she can't open her mouth. she couldn't say basically. >> she should -- i don't want to hear her talk about peanut's law. why not? come out. this was unacceptable. i can't believe -- >> greg: pettersson nut's law is a great -- peanut's law -- trump should come up with that. >> and fred, come on! [ laughter ] fred! [ laughter ] >> i don't even need a question 'cause i'm -- hold on, because for as long as i've been on here, one of the things i've always been very protective of barack obama, and voted for him twice. i voted for trump thrice.

and the irony in his speech bothers me because there was a time when the american people thought of him a certain way and there was a man named john mccain who lost his presidency saying, no, he's not a muslim terrorist. he's a good man who disagrees with my policies. but he's a good man. and then you do this. and it's ironically funny because guess who's saying there is good people on both sides. the democrats. >> greg: yeah. >> the administration. there's good people on both sides of israel and palestine. they're doing it. so shame on you because what he has done in the last six months of trying to bail out kamala is he's ruined his legacy as being a fair man. that was -- you didn't have to agree with his pomsies. you didn't have to like him -- policies -- but he was fair. when he spoke you're like, h'm,

i'm interested. but what he's become and the desperation of putting party before country, party before -- did you not forget what the other side did for you? because if mccain would have said, yes, he's a muslim terrorist, that could have changed the entire election. but he knew morally it was the wrong thing to do. and because she's going to lose because it's not close, saying that was people on both sides comment just threw away all the moral high ground you had. so shame on you, barack. >> greg: he also brought out the muslim ban. remember the muslim ban. i forgot about that muslim ban hoax. oh, wait, there was no muss lynn ban. >> -- muss lynn ban. -- muslim ban. >> just a few days ago obama was saying, why aren't we unifying the country? dude, you might be part of the problem, sir. he was making fun of trump at a rally, obama was, that if trump got a flat tire, trump couldn't change the tire. i'm like, that's probably true. but what would kamala harris do?

>> greg: yeah. >> she would get out, look at it, tell the tire that she's from the middle class. [ laughter ] that would achieve nothing at all. and then she would scream and berate at some, like, soon-to-be ex-staffer for not being able to change the tie either. like, i feel like you're really grasping at straws if we're questioning donald trump's ability to change a tire. what the hell does it have to do with anything. >> i know what i would do. >> what. >> call her dad. >> she would call her husband and he would be like, you know what, the nanny has a spare. >> or she'd call michelle because she's jacked. she'd lift up the fender of the car. go ahead, guys, change the tire! >> i would sell pay-per-view tickets to see obama versus president trump change a tire. [ laughter ] i'd watch that. [ applause ] >> greg: all right. >> i'd be changing a tire. >> greg: coming up, kamala fails to thrive on "saturday night live." [ cheering and applause ]

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♪ we got another clip for you ♪ ♪ it's video of the day ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: kamala went on "snl" and it didn't go well. they redid an old trump skit. kamala harris' surprise on "snl" that felt pretty familiar. >> kamala, take my pamala. [ laughter ] the american people want to stop the chaos and end the dramala. >> with a cool new step mamala. kick back in our pajamalas. and start decorating for christmas. philadelphia la la la la -- fa a la la la. what doe we always say? keep calm -- what do we always

say? keep kamala and carry on-la. >> greg: that looked familiar because it is familiar. they basically redid an old "tonight show" skit with trump. >> wow. i look fantastic. [ laughter ] [ cheering ] >> no, we look fantastic. and i mean really fantastic. >> me interviewing me, that's what i call a great idea. >> greg: so, kat, what is it -- they couldn't come up -- do you think it was because last minute they couldn't come up with anything so they just redit from "the tonight show." >> i -- it's exactly the same. >> greg: yes! [ laughter ] >> it's exactly the same, and i don't understand how you can do that and think nobody's going to notice because it's exactly the same. although i did thought watching

the kamala sketch i found myself being like, can those audiences come to my shows. [ laughter ] you guys are just laughing at whatever. >> greg: yeah, exactly. did you find it humorous, tyrus? >> no, what's troubling is -- the impersonator is a better version of kamala than kamala. >> greg: right. yes. [ applause ] great point. >> trump was funny and he was talking. kamala only said two words and she had to lip sync while the other one was -- she can't even do her own. this is not close. for peanut and ed. this is not cool. [ applause ] >> greg: piers, did you think it was okay for "snl" to do this without giving trump a chance for equal time? >> no, but then i wouldn't expect them to be fair. i thought what was interesting is her decision making. if she turns out she loses and

not by very much, i would look at something like this and think, so let me get this straight, you flew all the way to new york to go and do a two-minute sketch, which we've already seen before with trump and is preaching to your choir. it's democrats there. democrats in the audience. democrats watching at home that like that show. but what i didn't do is go do joe rogan. imagine if kamala harris had actually done a three-hour sit-down with joe rogan. her problem is with men. >> how dare you? >> she might have done very badly, but, you know, she did have a good debate against trump. she has it in her to not be completely useless sometimes. but i think what an interesting decision making that is to go and do a two-minute think which will make no difference for any ability for you to get new voters when you could have gone to the lion's den as you said of rogan and laid yourself open and potentially had young guys who you have to try to get some of them, young guys know, you know what, she's not as bad as i

thought. if she loses by not very much it's that kind of decision which is based actually on cowardice -- she didn't back herself to sit with rogan. >> why wouldn't she do an interview with you? >> i have offered her many times to do it. i think it's because i'm just too good. >> greg: yes. [ laughter ] >> but you would have been fair. >> i would have been fair. that's why -- i think she's not gone and done these tricky interviews. trump, to his credit, he's gone everywhere. >> greg: yeah. >> he's been to all these podcasts, all these shows, putting himself out. three hours with joe rogan is not easy whoever you are. if you do it you're saying i'm game. if you don't you're basically saying, actually, why back myself. and if you don't back yourself in life why should anybody else back you? >> greg: exactly. [ applause ] you know, guy -- [ applause ] do you think "snl" felt like it's comedy welfare? they were obliged to do it?

>> i think almost everyone over there wants to win and they were trying to help. that's what they decided to do. as you said, my rudolph is much funnier, much more fun than kamala harris. i actually disagree. i think from the campaign's perspective this was the right decision to make -- maya rudolpw lines and get out in a glamorous sitting. she cannot do rogan. she can't. she can to the go and sit for three hours and have a normal conversation. she has a file cabinet in her brain filled with a few files with a few answers that have been written by someone else that she has memorized. and when it's like question about the border, she pulls out the file that says, i was a prosecutor and trump killed the bill. we've heard them all a thousand times. with joe rogan over threers who, you can't get away with that -- over three hours. "snl" for two minutes is within her competency. >> when they did it without her everyone laughed at kamala. >> greg: they had to bring her in. >> so they'd stop laughing at

her. >> greg: good point. all right. up next, we got the scoop on a sculpture made of poop. force factor total beets is the number one beets brand in america. that's why friends and family recommend total beets. now you can find total beets blood pressure chews at walmart so you can boost nitric oxide, support blood pressure and improve heart health. rush to walmart and find total beets. ♪ innovation in health care means nothing if no one can afford it. ♪ at evernorth, we're helping to unlock barriers. ♪ using our 35 plus years of pharmacy benefits management experience to save businesses billions while boosting medication adherence. helping plan sponsors and their members be at their best.

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you need the poo detector. >> greg: tonight on poo detector, some bronze sculptures have shown up in dc. you've been following this story closely, guy. some say too closely. it was put there by a group called civic crafted llc, a tribute to jan 6. what do you make of this? >> what i make of it is i read the story at npr's website and this is the lead. an uncomfortable bronze sculpture appeared on the national mall in washington, dc, last week. a replica of nancy pelosi's desk with her nameplate, post-it notes, file fold and a perfectly swirled piled of feces -- file

folder -- someone went to journalism school and that is their work product? i wonder how they feel about life right now. >> greg: i think they should be proud. i don't believe there are enough poop-inspired sculptures. do you not agree? >> i would say this to my liberal friends is if your aim with this sculpture was to show the world that you're full of [ bleep ] then mission accomplished. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> greg: if that poop were for sale, wouldn't that be lovely in your living room? big pile of poop? >> i like that you know that it's not for sale, because you looked into it. >> greg: yes, i did. i did. >> i didn't know if it was for sale or not. >> greg: i'm sure they have a price. everybody has a price. >> i just hope you're okay because i'm sure you're jealous you didn't think of this. >> yes. >> are we sure he didn't, kat? >> yes. that's the other thing. is there a pile of notes next to the pile of [ bleep ], kat? just like the pile of notes in his hand write there?

[ laughter ] doesn't that look like the little desk of notes on his -- doesn't that look like somebody's desk? >> greg: i had nothing to do with this. >> really? >> greg: nothing. >> and there is another stack of notes and then the very corner there is a little "g" carved into the desk. [ laughter ] very interesting, gutfeld. i think we need to bring back the dalmatian detectives. [ laughter ] >> that's way too big to have come out of greg. [ laughter ] >> i don't know, him and kudlo get together -- [ laughter ] >> greg: can all right. this is going in a very, bad, bad placings much like that suspect. >> the usual suspect. skies skies sews much? -- keyser soze much? we'll be right back.

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[cheering and applause] >> trace: i'm trace gallagher it's 11:00 p.m. on the east coast, 8:00 her