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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  November 9, 2024 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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have a great weekend. [♪] [♪]
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[♪] [♪] >> greg: yes! yes! [cheering and applause] >> greg: all right! all right! all right! i said stop it! [laughter] >> greg: god! [laughter] >> greg: it's friday. so you know what that means, let's welcome tonight's guest. he thrills the nation with his impersonations, comedian tyler pitcher. she fights for the jews in her jimmy choos. human rights lawyer! she's got a baby on board, and it can't be ignored. new york times best selling author [cheering and applause] >> greg: j just like trump, he's responsible for landslides.
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new york times [indiscernible] [cheering and applause] >> greg: all right! i'm out of breath! all right, before we get to news stories, let's do this. [♪] >> announcer: greg's left overs! mmm. >> greg: it's left overs, where i read the jokes we didn't use this week, as always, it's my first time reading them. if they suck, we'll tape joe' eyes open and force him to watch jimmy kimmel. lefty melt downs continue, with dozens of kamala supporters pledging to never have sex with conservatives. trump supporters are calling it a win/win. [applause]. >> greg: in response to liberal women denying men sex, one man felt a great sense of relief. [applause].
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>> greg: in an historic first, trump's next chief of staff will be a woman. [applause]. >> greg: don't worry. she has a driver. >> ugh. [laughter] >> greg susie wiles becomes the fist female chief of staff appointee in history. like biden's female appointees, she has no penis. good for her. real woman. googling how to move to canada has become a popular search with liberals, along with, how do i find someone to bang my wife? [ [laughter] >> greg: because they're all cuck. saying "i'm in a very, very dark
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tunnel right now", as, you know, opposed to his usual tunnel, where he stores his food pellets and larva. steven a smith told the view, he could see donald trump's victory from a mile away, the same thing he said about joy behar. as a result of trump's victory, the dow jones surge 1,500 points this week. [laughter] nancy pelosi made so much money, she put a down payment on a new face. [applause]. >> greg: pop star madonna ate a cake that said "eff trump", and chris christie ate a cake that said "cake". [laughter]
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[applau [applause]. >> greg: richard gere, the actorick has solid his home for is $1 million, after revealing he's leaving the united states. [cheering and applause] >> greg: yeah. good, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. it will wake the gerbils [laughter] >> greg: it's going to be on his tombstone. she's also being mocked for her resemblance to hawaii detective steve mcgerrick.
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the safe word is book him, dano. president biden called donald trump on his victory and apologized for his stains. later this month, the mcdonalds will bring back the mcrib at select locations. it's not exactly a harris victory, but it's close, said one woman. according to a new study, the secret to better sex is a full night's sleep. hmm, is that's why mike huckabee is smiling. [laughter] [applause]. >> greg: and finally, according to a new study, having fewer friends can actually be better for your health. in a related story, guess whose life expectancy just doubled. all right.
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[applause]. >> greg: so ten days ago, trump's campaign was supposed to crash and burn, and why? is media told us a joke by an insult comic could destroy any chance of trump getting latino voters, they claimed the comic was a speaker and hour at the madison square garden, he was the only one there. and then they waited breathlessly for millions of latinos to buy their [bleep]. what happened? on tuesday, president trump get 46% of latino voters, the biggest chair by a republican contender in modern times. [cheering and applause] >> greg: hell, even ricardo maltiban voted for trump, and he died in 2009. in his purest form the death of fake news, the collapse of brainwash. for some reason whoo usually worked before fell on deaf ear,
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which makes us wonder. how did this propaganda not work on millions of americans, even as the media industrial complex orchestrated its typical fury. it was as if the population was vaccinated against a virus that the elites had no immunity for. call it a hoax dewormer, a drug against brainwash. and it worked. because this time around, the world post election seems pretty ser reen. new york city surprisingly is not on fire. the only noise you hear is in the media. everyone else is getting on with their lives. horaldo is back tying up women on railroad tracks. >> damn. >> greg: he looks young there. seriously. you have to look for the drama. online, on msnbc or the view. how long will the calm last? even the new york times is back at it. >> trump will fulfill his
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promise to be a dictator on day 1. >> he sends troops in to neighborhoods like my own to try to round up undocumented immigrants. then he sets up a network of camps. >> mass deportation, it would likely plunge the united states into something like a recession, his tariffs, likewise, promise to spike prices for most americans and cause costs to go up. >> that version of trump could cause -- ukraine to russian armies, could lead to foreign policy in the middle east. >> greg: talk about revenge porn. i sure hope joy reid does not go through with that sex tape. so if we know they're never going to stop, how do we respond? well, by teaching the rest of the public the skills you developed for seeing through the bs. it's like x-ray vision for exment. so stop looking at this as
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republican versus democrat or left versus right, it's us versus the brainwashers and we need to expand our team. it's up to us to convince kamala voters that they were gas lit too and make the truth more prominent than jesse's bald spot. [laughter] >> greg: because, again, why are republicans, and even some dems not acting crazy when the kimmels, the hostens and maddos are. and how can you explain the media loved bide ton the end, until they didn't, then they tossed him aside to kamala, who they hated to the end, until they didn't. it was a brainwash machine, and even when media coverage was 78 positive for kamala, we were immune. it's like we discovered a super power, a force field against hoaxes and media lies. so how did this happen? well, for many years, people assumed the media with their best interests in mind. the truth. but as the media grew, so did
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their bulls eye. and you experience what's called the gelman amnesia affect, when you suddenly can gauge the truthfulness of an article because it's about you or your life. a plumber might assume everything on the front page is true. until he reads a piece on plumbing. and he realizes, wow, this person does not know [bleep] literally. [cheering and applause] >> greg: i mean, this idiot just described a basain wrench as an offset hedge wrench. what an ass hole! see, the point is, if the topic involves you, then you see the lies. which is what happened on a mass scale to millions of trump supporters, when they were labeled racist violent extremists. suddenly it went national. if they think i'm racist, what else are they lying about?
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imagine if everyone got this, that none of the brainwashing could work anymore. the ladies of "the view", might have to find honest work and "cnn" could be turned into something useful, like a pickle ball court. so the goal in the next four years is to unite all sides with one shared enemy. the media. so forget attacks democrats. hell, they have suffered enough under their own policies. [applau [applause]. >> greg: tyler! tyler! obviously all those liberals scared of what trump is going to do. what do you think trump is going to do, using trump's own voice? >> well, i have to thank him for buying me four more years of this show. i was going to retire. but, you know, we -- what a great week we have had. we're doing no tax on tips. we know that, we're doing no tax on overtime.
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and we're doing -- nobody is talking about this, this is what the american people want! we're doing no tax on mcdonalds! we love mcdonalds! no tax on nugget. they said, sir, he want do that. we have the senate. we have the house, we have a great cabinet. rfk, secretary of health, as the new head chef of mcdonalds. listen, listen! chicken nuggets -- excuse me, excuse me! chick b nuggets will be healthy. you'll lose weight from the fries, we have fresh atlantic cod from the fish filet, and we're going to clean house with the new secretary of taking out the trash, elon musk. we're firing everyone. we're firing everyone. it's going to be so great! [laughter] >> it's going to be so great. >> greg: thank you for that. a little medley of voices. a little medley! [cheering and applause] >> it's schizophrenia. >> greg: all right, brook, tell
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us what you think. are we in an era we have suddenly realized that everything we get from the media is a lie >> well, you and me knew that. we have known that for many years. i'm so happy everyone else has woken up. the media bias is so real, it's so obvious,er and sometimes, you know, it's just so overt. i was lucky enough to be able to attend the rallies, and i did go to trump's people to hear him speak in private context. it remarkable how they misquote him, take his words out of context. and it's less covert for the editorializing. the cnn headline, the day after trump wins, trump retakes power with a disruptive influence. what could be less disruptive than a peaceful transfer of power? it's a democratic influence. and so, you know, it's just -- the whole heeing and hawing about how this is going to be a dictatorship, our rights are
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going to be taken away, it is, on its face, ridiculous. this is democracy working. the people have spoken, not just the electoral vote, you be he won, you know, the majority of the american public. so they're so out of touch, so elitist. i hate when celebrities go out there and wax and oi pine about it. why do we listen to what they're saying at this point. >> greg: it is so true. [cheering and applause] >> greg: cat, what do you think of my theory that, okay, you were in the media spotlight when somebody -- like, you can assume everything being written is probably accurate, until you read an article that you were interviewed for. >> yeah. >> greg: and then you read it and you go, i didn't say that. that was a joke, i was joking when i said that, and it tells you that maybe all the other stories that you were reading about, i don't know, climate change or the automotive industry, is equally flawed.
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>> well, you have to -- you have to just start questioning things that you read, and also look at motivations of things. >> greg: mmhmm. >> there are certain people whose entire job, in our situation, is to watch fox news and write about how bad everything they saw was. >> greg: yes. >> so that's their motivation. that's their jobs. so you have to read that with that lens. but that's not like that's the only form of media out there that does stuff like this. >> greg: mmhmm. >> these people, on these channels, win -- this worked for a while, right? this worked for a while, where they had their highest viewership talking about, you know, trump, all the bad things are going to happen, the walls are closing in. >> greg: yes! >> the walls haven't, obviously. he's reelected. but that's kind of worked forked them for a while. that's why they're cog it. division and this kind of fear-mongerring makes money. it more interesting to say that on t.v. than to say, trump won, but it's probably going to be fine. people tune in -- i'd say look at motivations of things.
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>> greg: yeah, the walls are closing in, but it's the wall on our border. [laughter] >> greg: you see what i did there. >> if you wanted me to clap for you, you could have just asked. >> greg: what about that, tyrese. you called this early on. you said the polls were bs. but do you believe that it was artificially made close because of what kat was saying, to keep the money flowing? >> no, i think the problem is, is that we have an elite group of narcissistic morons. no, i wish that was a joke. it's not. they don't -- to go on t.v. every day, to objectively talk about something, you have to study. you have to research. pros and cons. and both candidates you should find things you like, things that concern you. it's called doing work. that's why all the old journalists look so old. they smoke cigarettes and stayed
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up all night, checking sources and this, that, whatever. when you get "the view", who are like, i don't have to think anything. i don't like him, i'm rich, you shouldn't like him either. and i can say anything because no one is going to check me. i surround myself with people, they'll have one puppet republican, who is scared to death to say anything against them, or if she does come out, they'll interrupt her nonstop. so there is this level of stupidity, and it spreads because they don't have to -- all they have to say is trump is hitler, and their followers will be like, well, maybe he is hitler, but then if anyone actually paid continuing in history class, they'd be like, he's not close to hitler. there is no other hitler, hence we know why hitler is. there is an ignorance and it's arrogance to i can see whatever i want to. then they get caught. they can't say, i have been wasting network money, lying to you. so they have to double down and go even stupider.
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>> greg: yeah. >> and keep saying things like "i was -- i only watch because of the clips" you force us to watch "the view". >> greg: i do, i do. >> he does. he's like, yeah, you predicted it. good job. guess who is watching "the view" for a month. [laughter] kat's baby is going to come out and be anti-sunny. [laughter] >> as you watch them, you see them just age and cringe because they get caught up in their lives. so what do they could? the new word is "misogynistic". the only mistake was, they blamed white men. they forget that black men, hispanic men, and asian men are men too. that's the new thing. and then they're like, oh, it's just men. and then they're like, well, 53 partner of women -- oh, it's stupid women. and men. so they'll just keep going until they're down -- the only thing
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you can trust is a penguin. the penguins, they get it. they're running out of people to blame. >> greg: yes. >> this is fun, they keep it going, keep it going. the next thing we hear is apparently the extraterrestrials also voted for trump. [laughter] >> it's a long line of just stupidity because you don't have to practice or educate yourself to be stupid. >> greg: yes, that is true. all right, up next! pass the buck, after ( ♪ ) asthma. it can make you miss out on those epic hikes with friends. step back out there with fasenra. fasenra is an add-on treatment for eosinophilic asthma that is taken once every 8 weeks. ( ♪ ) fasenra helps prevent asthma attacks. most patients did not have an attack in the first year. fasenra is proven to help you breathe better so you can get back to doing day-to-day activities. and fasenra helps lower the use of oral steroids. fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems
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[♪] >> announcer: a story in five words. >> greg: the knives are coming out, following kamala's humiliating loss. within their own party, they're
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blaming joe biden for not getting out sooner, for uni laterally appointing kamala, and then george clooney writing the op ed. kamala's advisors are saying the polling data, obama advisors are giving kamala bad strategies. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. >> blah,er blah. >> greg: blah. [laughter] >> is there a question? >> greg: no. >> so i read a great book called "from good to great". and, you know, one of the principals in the book, and as the founder and executive director of my own organization, to have a successful company, i would hope this would translate into running a successful cape pain or country, you have to have a little bit of self-reflection. you have to be able to able to analyze what's working, what didn't work. and then make the changes that have to take place in order to
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succeed next time around. and that's just simply not what's happening here. they lied about biden's condition. >> greg: mmhmm. >> and then they orchestrated a coup. they put kamala in. she was never elected. she bypassed the primaries. they installed this leader who eastern saw as a puppet of obama. what is so remarkable, they spent $1 billion in three months, in this first six weeks of this campaign, she was hiding in her basement. how are you supposed to trust a party that spends a billion in three months, loses, and then goes to say they can run the economy. i think the american people are smart. this was all about emotion. all of the reporting was absent any type of facts, and the people have spoken. >> greg: people say, kat, they spent a billion dollars, as if that's crazy.
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but that money did go somewhere. people got rich. it didn't even really matter that kamala lost, there was $1 billion that got split up by, you know, political operatives and whatnot. what do you think? do you think they'll learn from their mistakes? >> probably not. because they're trashing each other. >> greg: yeah. >> and you got to take a look at maybe what you did wrong. it was so obviously transparent. and they were already kind of, you know -- i want to say playing from behind, but you're going to say something weird about that. i'm trying to think of another way. i'm trying to think of another way to say "play it from behi behind", but that the what i mean. thank you, guys. >> it not going to stop him. >> when they spent years telling us that biden was okay. >> greg: yeah. >> they spent years being like, there is something wrong with you. you're a conspiracy theerist to think that biden is okay. so i feel like a lot of people
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with eyes, who saw these videos of him were like, he doesn't really look great, right? so then they came out, and she was really a media manufactured idea more than a candidate for the longest time. they were like, kamala is here, right? so i think that people -- i mean, they really need to admit the things that they have done wrong. admit some of that stuff i said was messed up and examine that. the examinations don't need to start now. they need to go back a few years. >> greg: come from behind. i'm not going to make some kind of sick, disgusting joke about -- >> that's why i was struggling. i know exactly what i want to say. i can't use that. >> he's so going to do it. you know he's anything to do it sglg i'm going to pick me moment. i'm going to do a little experiment with you -- >> no! >> get behind him. >> greg: yeah. okay. remember how, on the end of
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every scooby-doo episode, the monster gets the mask taken off. imagine this was an episode. they get -- they pull the mask off. who is the monster? >> dr. fauci. [cheering and applause] >> i know -- listen. i played a lot of sports in my life, when you get your ass kicked, you want to blame the kicker, you want to blame the coach, you want to blame your girl calling you two minutes before you go on the air to complain about some [bleep] you don't care about. that's not what this is. this train of horribleness started when they started telling us what we had to do with our bodies and that if you didn't if you didn't get the shoulds, you were a terrorist, people lost jobs, they didn't care, and then they sent this
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money out and people were stealing it and it never went to the people who were supposed to get it. you don't forget that [bleep] . when you literally had to step in your -- i know a lot of men came home, got sprayed with aerosol cans, had to put the clothes in a trash bag. butt naked, walk in, did you get bread? [bleep]. >> and then you got to go back out. you don't forget that stuff. when we get through that stuff, we continue to be lied to and then be told. and lo and behold, we found out men are horrible. and then we're told, it's okay with women with a set the punch another woman in the face, if we question it, there is something wrong with us. so they continue to pepper. everybody got a little bit of their [bleep] and then everybody got together. that's why they lost. that's why the puerto ricans went, we can't get a joke.
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no one is that brittle. they are. it was their brittle-ass leadership. >> greg: tyler, what is your analysis on this? >> first of all, sounds like tyres needs a couple more booster shots, okay. >> well, you need a booster chair, okay. >> there you go. >> greg: well, if you need the shot, i'm always willing. >> i knew it! i'm right behind you. >> greg: he's a big guy. he's going to need about 50 in each leg. that's what we've going to have to do. what was your question? before the height shaming? >> greg: will they ever realize -- do they have enough self-awareness to look into the mirror and go, you know what, we are responsible for this? >> i can't even see in the mirror, i'm looking at my forehead. you know what i'm talking about. we share a kids bathroom. no, they won't, and a lot are
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deleting their instagram page. as a comedian, i've been banned from every single social media platform. what a privilege to delete it on your own. look at you. look at you. yeah, no. and watching biden joyfully end with it, that was the best speech he's given. i go, i would vote for him! >> greg: yeah. >> yeah, he give that little smirk. he's like, we'll be right back. [laughter] >> greg: he is. that's probably the best day of his entire political career >> i slept well. like a baby. always had to wear diapers, but that night, he wore two. >> greg: all right! up next, college kids tried over (♪) -without easterseals, my luke would be a very different luke. look up. where you going? there's an incredible urgency to get your child into services because the longer you wait, these motor pathways are set in stone. i knew he needed help. he needed these services.
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may cause worsening of existing parasitic skin infestations... or preexisting cancers... and serious infections. new neoplasias have been observed. do not use in dogs less than 12 months old. ask your vet for apoquel. now available in a tasty chewable. >> greg: college kids cry like babies.
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universities are helping sad students cope with trump's winning. dartmouth is offering listening circles for depressed students. georgetown gave milk and cookies and legos to play with the stress on election day. what about us? >> who is us? >> greg: the people who have to put up with their tantrums. >> i don't have to put up with tantrums. haven't college students been crying for a while. >> greg: they didn't do this on october 7th. >> they have been crying since 2014. so i feel like the milk and cookie haves been a thing. the puppies have been a thing, the colouring books have been a thing. usually you do have to go to work after something happens. that can be far more devastating in your life. but, yeah, it's also just college, why do people even go anymore at this point? it's so expensive. >> greg: mmhmm. >> it's so expensive. and you're not even practicing being a human. >> greg: yeah. >> i don't understand. >> greg: it's an
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antieducational. >> so expensive so you can get told that it's okay that you don't have to go to work if something doesn't go your way. you kind of do, actually. >> greg: yeah, if i were the dean, you know what i would do to help destress them? fight clubs. >> there you go. >> greg: have them beat the crap out of each other. wouldn't that be great, tyrus. >> i would enjoy it, greg. >> greg: i would watch the hell out of it. >> you can't blame the kids. you can't. when i was in college, something happened somewhere, they're lying, we're going to take the day off. it was terrible. i got the day off, beer. it's the professors, the ones who are doing this. they did -- you know, i was talking to a guy benson today, they did this when bush got in, the same type of processers had days of mourning because the religions were coming to get them. the professor ares the problem. and to your point, there was no day of mourning for october 7th. >> greg: yeah. >> you know what i'm saying,
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there is a day of mourning because you didn't get your way. that's more proof that you should -- never a better time for the university of phoenix, trade schools. being in an ivy school is not about learning. it's about becoming a sheep. >> greg: mmhmm. >> you can go to montana to do that [bleep] [cheering and applause] >> greg: and you young women out there, consider a profession of table dancing. i call that the school of hard knockers. >> you just had to get in. >> greg: i had to get in. i started thinking school of hard knocks. and then it went there. tyler, i feel like i could use some therapy. the impact of all this relentl relentless -- wins has created an uncontrollable euphoria. i feel like i could use some serious bedrest. >> well, you promised me we're going to dave and busters and gap kids after. >> greg: do i get you for the
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weekend? >> yeah, yeah. [laughter] >> greg: i gave you five tickets. [laughter] >> i love all this. the dartmouth, the listening circles. in honour of kamala, shouldn't it be laughing circles? and they're all sitting there crying. i'm like, are they going to cry in different accents? the plan? what happened to the plan? you better thank a you know union member! >> greg: you can edit that part out. add a laugh. hey, what've you got to do. fake news. it's all fake news. >> greg: brook, tyrus's point about how they did not give a crap about what happened after october 7th. in fact, they kind of energized the people on the other side. and here, they're just like, oh, my god, we have to be sensitive to the feelings of people who can't handle an election. >> just to -- correct, they did cancel classes, but not to mourn october 7th. it was to facilitate all these rallies and to allow them to
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burn the american flag in the college quads and, you know, what you're going to get in colleges is alesson on how to undo democracy. that's why i'm really, really looking forward to the second trump administration, to see how they enforce our laws, how they enforce title 6 of the civil rights act. we're paying for those milk and cookies, right? none of these universities and clengs should be receiving federal funding because they're operating in violation of the law. >> oh, yeah. (applause]. >> and just to end on the same note, i'm really looking forward to seeing how we're going to root out the pro terror radicalization and the foreign funding to the tune of $1 billion a year from states like qatar, going toward radicalizing students and turning them against america and turning them against israel. this is a major national security threat. i have spoken about it many times. in my opinion, it's the greatest
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subversive influence campaign this world has seen. how our campuses are being used to undo democracy. [applause]. >> greg: and also how about those lactose intolerant students. how are they going to enjoy the milk and cookies? oh, i'd hate to be a toilet in that men's room. [laughter] >> can't they just identify as tolerant? >> greg: yeah, they could, they could. >> identify as happy. >> greg: all right. coming up, it never gets old watching michael cohen get trolled. [applause] >> announcer: if you're in the new york area and would like tickets to gum problems could be the start of a domino effect parodontax active gum repair breath freshener clinically proven to help reverse the 4 signs of early gum disease a toothpaste from parodontax,
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♪ it's coming your way ♪
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♪ hey hey ♪ ♪ it's video of the day ♪ >> greg: the guy who turned on trump gets treated like a chump. michael cohen claimed he would leave america if trump won. he has since back tracked on the promise and now he's paying for it. on his tiktok live vaem, user kept trolling him with delightful filters, as he lost his [bleep]. >> wow! genius you are. could we stop with that? i don't like the stupid turkeys. let's knock the stupid [bleep] off please. the following day, i tushed around and said, there is no chance i'm leaving my world. would you stop so we can -- all right. two seconds, i'm going to end up blocking this idiot. [laughter]
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[laughter] [cheering and applause] >> greg: tyrus, every day this election gets a little better. >> it goes back to what we said in the first segment. these morons think they're so smart, so clever. they don't know what accountability is. if he had any accountability. he wouldn't be in this position in the first place. >> greg: it's another one of those losers who gained status before being anti-trump. they come and then they go. >> yeah, but they continue to exploit. you know, which i would never do. i would never say, oh, my hats are for sale, you know, on my website. i wouldn't just keep exploiting greg gutfeld and make comedy great again, because i'm not a turkey. >> greg: i cannot believe that hat is actually something you would sell. >> i only have this one. i'll sell it. >> greg: exactly. brook, what do you think -- this
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is one of those people that was made by criticism of trump. what is he going to do now? >> yeah, you know, he was like the star witness, alvin bragg's star witness against trump. and that's clearly why. he'll say anything and not mean it. >> greg: you know what, i, kat, would watch the hell out o f a show featuring him being trolled. [laughter] >> greg: i could watch this forever. >> i don't think i could. it's just hard to -- it's hard to listen to. it's the same crap. like, of course you're not leaving. all these celebrities who say -- nobody is ever leaving, whether it's the celebrities saying they're going to leave because of trump or, you know, your boyfriend with a wife. [laughter] >> when people say "i'm leaving", they mean it 3% of the time. >> it's like, i'm done. in every reality show. i'm done. >> you're so not done. >> greg: and i'm ♪ when your child has moderate-to-severe eczema,
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we're not gonna talk about traffic or weather. if anyone brings up lawn care, i will handle it. hosting can be extremely difficult for young homeowners turning into their parents. oh, are you done with this? i'll just take that. okay, he's still drinking. right. oh, look what the cat dr-- no, no. let's try again, if you wouldn't mind. it gets ugly. you can either take it off or i'll take it off you. yeah. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. but you love to take it. she doesn't want i
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[♪] >> greg: yup, you're watching "mailing it in". >> greg: got time for one question. tyler, what position are you most qualified for, if you were asked to be on president trump's staff. >> secretary of the short kings, and you're going to love
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this one, greg. short guys have no representation, things like lower urinal height. no height requirement on the dating apps, okay? if men have the put their height on there, women have to put their weight. she wants to know if i can ridge the top of the fridge, i want to know if she's going to clean out the fridge. it's called equality. it's called equality. you're fired. you're fired. >> greg: brook, what are you most qualified for. >> well, i'm so happy you asked, greg. i want to say, president trump, i'm here to serve the administration any way i can. obviously i think i was born for the position of special envoy to monitor and combat anti-semitism, but if that's not available, i'll be the tzar on islamophobia. >> greg: tyrus. >> press secretary! [cheering and applause] >> greg: that would be amazing.
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[laughter] >> greg: kat, i know you hate government. but -- >> yeah, i do. i guess maybe -- maybe i could do, like, spearhead a psa for restaurants, that nobody -- nobody wants cream of mushroom as a soup of the day. >> i would support that legislation. [applause]. >> cream of mushroom, you're fired. you're fired. >> greg: i don't know what i would do. i guess i could be, like, social chairman, you know, plan parties and stuff. >> you don't go anywhere. >> greg: that's right, i don't go anywhere. >> greg should be the guy he calls, what do you think? i don't like it. >> greg: if he ever needs a toilet joke or a poop joke. i'd be the chairman joint chief of poop jokes >> i'll be the co-chair >> very classicy. >> we can share a chair. >> greg: yes, in an outhouse. don't go away! we'll be right back.
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>> greg: out of time, thank you to our guests, our studio audience, "fox news at night" with the dreamy trace gallagher is next. i love you, america. [cheering and applause we will see you tomorrow. the "big weekend show" is up next. ♪

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