♪ ♪ >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left this evening thank you for being with us in making that show possible. please that your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". find us any time all the time at foxnews.com. in the meantime let not your heart be troubled greg gutfeld is next to put a smile on your face. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: i know. i know! i know. my face is paralyzed. it is. happy wednesday, everybody. president-elect trump has nominated our very own... never heard of him. first lee zeldin and now pete it feels like they are stealing my guests. who is next? steve doocy secretary of whiteness? judge jeanine for secretary of pistol whipping? brian kilmeade as a loneliness star?

joe biden and donald trump met in the oval office today, joe biden complement to trump on overcoming many obstacles he has also faced like stairs. trump left the meeting with new insights about which carpets needed to be cleaned but i have loved to be a fly on that wall. it beats competing with the ones buzzing around joe's head it. c an end is rumoured to be laying off its top stars. i was just talking about this on my way to work this morning with my uber driver. don lemon announced he is quitting twitter. i learned that from my other uber driver. during an episode of "the view" joined a hard gifted whoopi goldberg lasagna for her birthday. joyce said giving a way that lasagna was the most difficult decision of her life.

did van dyke who turns 99 this month says he is grateful he will not be around to experience president terms second term. i said that the first time, said one man. [laughter] poor guy. elon musk and vivek ramaswamy will head of the department of government efficiency, government workers wishing to help can submit their resignations. [applause] good joke. it was a good joke. finally people magazine has revealed at the sexiest man alive, actor john kaczynski, better luck next year actor randi weingarten. terrible! terrible. donald trump has yet to take

office and he is already making an impact. not just on china, russia, and dr. jill plan for installing commodes at the white house. donald trump is also decimating cable news. msnbc ratings have plummeted since he won. it is so bad that joy reid's wigs are looking for work at jesse watters prime time. cnn numbers are so far down they are getting beaten nightly by brit hume's doorbell camp. hundreds of layoffs are apparently on the way. i know it is mean but it would be hilarious if cnn fires brian stelter a second time. the poor guy just installed a shell for his pies. it is so bad for mainstream media that chris wallace has

left the -- cnn to start a podcast. he is 77. think about it, he is leaving a legacy media at age 77 because he is certain that even he is going to outlive it. but sadly even fox news is feeling the pinch. it is not our ratings i have millions of you eyeballs and that is not including the ones that i keep in a sack underneath my bed. donald trump is taking all of our talent. he just announced that the great toasty, art as his nominee for the director of national intelligence. [applause] lee sheldon may be the new head of the epa. micah could be the new ambassador to israel, and paul -- boy does the middle east need some real axiom. of course...

is the new secretary of defence. as trump loads up his cabinet with renegades and bad the left is melting down. they can't believe that trump is putting in place will people, the kind that are loyal to america, and all the usual suspects you find on jets to epstein island. sure they are triggered by seth and here is why. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ that is it, i am gay. again. >> not a big shock. a lot of mouths on the floor like what? >> greg: stop it. here is your expected hissy fit

to his nomination. >> defence secretary, what do you think? >> i am shocked, truly, this is exactly what we worried about and we warned about donald trump which is that he is going to a point unqualified loyal's -- loyalists to shape this government into his own personal fiefdom. >> the pick was a surprise on capitol hill where one senator literally said wow. >> in the pretrump world it would be impossible for pete hegseth to get through the senate confirmation process for any job in government. they will have no problem voting for any ridiculous, and competent, trump appointee. >> greg: you know what is really bothering these idiots? first hegseth is a man, obviously. not so obvious, bidens choices. [laughter]

i mean talk about transparency and government. when you see our men they are not hiding behind a skirt or stealing them. he was way ahead of everybody else on the decline of our fighting forces. he was the first most persuasive voice bent on preserving the legality of our forces which is under attack from within thanks to the scourge of identity politics. identity politics did three things to the military. it undermines meritocracy, the necessary ingredient -- ingredient for commanding a lethal force, it splintered fighting forces into competing interests, and it targeted troops who resisted branding them as extremist who warranted investigation. using the appeal to authority fallacy to spear hegseth who is this guy? they matter. a two-time broad star winner, make that three. he has been in the service for decades. he is the guy who is about to

kick your asses to the curb. he is not the only one who will make useless to careerists to update their resumes. elon musk and vivek ramaswamy will head up a new department called the two government -- the department of government efficiency. that sound is the sound of the government finally being drained, that or i just ate indian food. i apologize. so help the will it be? when elon musk took over twitter he reportedly fired 80% of his personnel and five -- inside the first month which explains why on the way to work this morning i saw mayor pete pumping gas at a station. firing 80% of the federal workforce if you think that is going too far you might be right. it takes 15 workers each day just to fasten jerry nadler's pants. thank you. [applause]

but america's that is 35 trillion of. that is 35 with 12 zeros. that is as many zeros as kat stating history. we have one shot here to save what has been the greatest experiment in government and human freedom of all time. i have the feeling we will be able to see more changes in a single administration than we have seen in nancy pelosi's face. and this time it will be stuff that people actually want and actually voted for. no wonder it will be carried out by people from a cable news network that people actually love. [applause] >> hear he is. >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guest! she once cohosted "the view" and still can't dismount -- can't get the smell off her shoe, michele tafoya! evne rfk june here is like what is the deal with his voice? commedia jim florentine!

she wants to have more babies and then cure her rabies, "new york times" best-selling author fox news contributor kat timpf! he holds his pants up with orion's belt, "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor tyrus! michele, i can get the smile off my face. it is wednesday i still feel great with all of these new faces what are you expecting? >> there is something in business called innovative disruption. so people got really excited and said i am a disruptor. i am a disruptor i'm going two take this business down and disrupt and rebuild. but they do not like it when it is happening to government that they think they can predict, that they have been in control of for all of this time. i don't like this innovative disruption stuff this is weird. this is beautiful.

there are two parts. the pete hegseth think reminds me of, sorry i'm going two to the nfl here, but i will go with the 49ers. wendy san francisco 49ers higher gm john lynch out of the broadcast people went he has no front office experience what are they doing? he has gone on and made the 49ers into the dark or not they once were. they forgot he also had a hall of fame playing career. that is kind of like pete hegseth. they are saying he is a host, is a news host from fox. but what about the bronze stars a? the princeton harbour, all of the other stuff that hegseth has done? and yet he is young. he will clean things up and get this the ai out of there. as for elon musk and vivek ramaswamy i can't wait to watch this. they have a twitter feed i have been watching it all day and the following keeps going up and up

they are up to about 500,000 right now and they just started this page. people are excited about this. >> greg: definitely great. i have to make a correction i said three bronze stars that i had but only in the summer time when i wear those stickers. jim, you have beenimes right? >> yes. >> greg: how you feel about this efficiency consortium coming on to get rid of the fact? >> it is ironic they have two people when they are trying to be efficient with the government they probably only need one for that role. >> greg: that is true. >> i think that is going to be great and then they are crying about pete. like trump's only picking people that he likes like that is what you do. you don't pick your mortal enemies. i don't remember anybody in the biden cabinet walking around with a let's go brand insured on. >> greg: that is a great point. he is a loyalist will that is

how it works. especially with trump. trump has been shot at, almost assassinated twice, i think he deserves loyalists around him. you know. [applause] it was a good point. >> i'm really happy for pete in my neighbourhood somebody to play flag football with his son. when he would show up to the game none of the moms want to play football. they were just staring at him. he was like a movie star. >> greg: it is really dangerous women can get pregnant just by staring at him. kat? [laughter] i'm not making any inferences. >> take a fox news host maybe they can make you an ambassador to... show you the beach. >> greg: i would like to be the ambassador to the vatican. >> you keep making these jokes you will have a job. >> greg: we are safe here, i think. what do you make of all of this?

or you going to miss pete? >> pete is a friend. so i definitely will miss pete but i definitely really enjoyed reading that political article about how horrible it was that trump picked pete just because of the people that they quoted in that article. they quoted a defence industry lobbyist, they quoted the same year or the top policy official at the pentagon during the bush administration. like all of that guy things as it is a bad idea. pete is not strong enough to buy those weapons of mass disruption. i mean god forbid they have somebody, elizabeth warren, right? she tweets about "fox & friends" weekend host, does not mention that he is a veteran let alone he has decades of combat experience. multiple decades of combat experience. offered that you put somebody in that role who has experienced fighting in the wars instead of

making money off of the wars of? people think that is not an argument for why i think it is a bad idea. >> greg: it is funny if liz had any of that combat experience she would have that on her resume like she was in india. deliberately a minute. >> nobody is more afraid when this war and starts beating the war drum. i think we have to consider these sources. this is the same group that talked about this super tight election that was looking really good and they were so excited it was going two their way and boy. boy. wrong is not even the right term. they were so wrong that cnn and msnbc were like maybe we should just go back to the news. because this dnc [bleep] sucks. everything about them, through this whole process, is as bad as kamala harris budgeting her

camp. how do you go over $20 million? and now you want to balance the budget? pete his boots on the ground. pete knows, he still talks to his buddies he served with on a regular basis. pete knows the struggle veterans go through, pete knows how this works he knows the fake [bleep] and they should be afraid of a person like pete. they should be afraid because all of these guys do not need the job. that is the same thing with president trump that bothered them that is what started the [bleep] in the swamp and the crazy narratives, that they will have no allegiance to them. >> greg: pete is going to take a pay cut. >> trust me, i was all about press secretary until i saw the pay. i can do that [bleep] from right here. pull up a little booth we do a little segment.

honorary. because they don't need it. that is the biggest fear, there will be a lot of firing and we will stop seeing the thing where they have to pay groups of senators and congressmen to make committees to discuss the idea of finding ideas to fix things. we are going to cut all of that [bleep] out. so either put up or get out. and hopefully with a sizable amount of the senate this should be a great time for term limits so you will have more people like elon musk and pete, people that don't need the job other than just want the service, than trying to pick up a couple bucks. >> greg: and also tulsi gabbard. just on two days ago and she would not tell me but i knew it. would not tell me but i knew it. i knew it! newmak up next fema treats youah like trashoy if you gave trump like trashoy if you gave trump cash . woah, a lost card isn't keeping this thrill seeker down. lost her card, not the vibe. the soul searcher, is finding his identity,

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♪ ♪ >> it is coming your way it is a video of the day. [applause] >> greg: they denied them relief supporting the commander in chief. the fema supervisor fired for telling crews to avoid trump supporter's damaged homes and now florida is saying it was not an isolated incident. according to marnie washington this is a community trend. rolled it! >> there is what we call a community trend. unfortunately it just so happened that the political hostility -- hostility that my team encountered, i was on two different teams during my deployment, they happen to have trump campaign signage. the amount always preaches avoidance first and then de-escalation. so this is not isolating this is a colossal event of avoidance.

not just in the state of florida but you will find avoidance in the carolinas. >> greg: a colossal event of avoidance. so it was not a one off. even when she admits it she spins it, they are not avoiding trump homes because they hate the big bad orange menace and his supporters they are avoiding any homeowners to give them political hostility -- hostility. it just so happens that maga is politically hostile. where are reports of trump supporter's attacking fema agents? and that says something given that trump photos of every right to be pissed and your homes are destroyed and somebody gives you a $750 check. meanwhile democrats say trump will use the power of the federal government against his political opponents. as always every accusation is a confession. that is why i always accuse larry kudlow of losing the keys to our handcuffs.

jim, i'm curious, i'm not certain if you live in a home or hospital or boardinghouse, would fema avoid your home if they saw it? >> i already have a plan because i took a harris-walz signed out of my neighbours garbage that they threw out next week so i can put that on my lawn if they come else. i already have it figured out. [applause] >> greg: does this piss you off? were you surprised by this? >> what kind of hurricane it doesn't knock over a sign it? [laughter] [applause] >> so true. >> if the sign is still on the lawn i think the roof will be okay. >> greg: that is a great. nobody has ever mentioned that. until now! oh, my god. kat, we have yet to hear of any

trump supporter's attacking fema employees. this is another reason to clean house? >> i actually i do tend to believe that this was an isolated incident because it was presented in a way as if it was not controversial. look at the other things it was on a list with. i think we have the list. it was on a list with bring a towel and drink water and coconut water has electrolytes in it. these are very noncontroversial matter of fact things and then at the top is avoided trump people. so it is presented in a way as if it is like of course. obviously it was not like she was nervous, it was on the list of quite frankly boring things. this was not a controversial thing within the department at all. >> greg: that is true. tyrus, it is very casual how they are expressing their hatred for trump supporter's. nobody gave the behaviour a second thought until that email was exposed to. >> it was one person got caught

but to his wonderful joke, they weren't even looking for signs. they were just areas that looks like a trump area. so we are not going to do anything. the reason why they trump people weren't attacking fema was because there was no [bleep] fema agents around to attack. [applause] it is a criminal. i have done a thing where i talked to... the mayor of knoxville and i talked to a buddy of mine who was running supplies to north carolina, specifically and north carolina. there were people who died from exposure, people who died from exposure and it was to kat great point, it was casual. it means it has been talked about but we can't be surprised. the president's secret service team, every time there was anything that they deemed was considered like trump the federal government and these companies have either unmerited qualified people or they have

flat out said it because it was comfortable. we herded on the news every night. if the media is telling everybody that he is hitler than all of his little followers are nazis so you are a hero when you are saying i'm not going two out and help them because they are nazis. so believing that it was one person who decided to do that? yeah, right. they said this is great we don't have to help anybody. because it was fashionable to do this. we are going to see this [bleep] everywhere. they lost. they lost so bad that some people will have buyer's remorse. i said the next month will be the tattletale's come out to see it was an entire movement by this administration two after people who did not vote and things like they did. >> greg: michele, i guess they believe that trump supporter's are synonymous with being antigovernment extremists. unlike blm or antifa?

>> yes. >> greg: but trump supporter still have homes. and they pay bills. >> listen, when she talks about hostilities, so if you are a person whose home has been torn up by a hurricane. you are going to be a little bit hostile to begin with because you are freaking out. how hostel will you be to somebody who was coming to help you? so this description of we saw this trend of hostilities from people with trump signs that miraculously stayed in the yard even though our hurricane just past through. i mean it that is so hard to believe and it is hard to believe that it was one person telling you okay stick together, avoided trump signs, stay hydrated, and use that coconut water! and all of these things. this description of people being costal because they have a trump sign in the yard. i am not buying it i think it is

bull and i think this goes up a higher than we know. >> greg: goes to the top. >> the top. >> fema must be busy now because they are dropping off tissues at harris' office. >> greg: throwing them a roll of paper towels. up next uncovering lies about a squirrel's demise. - bye, bye cough. - later chest congestion. hello 12 hours of relief. 12 hours!! not coughing? hashtag still not coughing?! mucinex dm gives you 12 hours of relief from chest congestion and any type of cough, day or night. mucinex dm. it's comeback season.

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♪ ♪ >> a story and five words. >> greg: a cover-up. peanut was murdered. tyrus, i have this crazy update on the death of peanut the squirrel and fred the raccoon. a new timeline reveals the state and county health department had multiple conversations about the animals being euthanized to test for rabies a week before the raid on mark long goes a farm in upstate new york which contradicts the department of conservation's initial claim that the rabies test only have pulled -- happens because peanut bit a... during the raid essentially

p'nut was marked for death before the raid even happen. your thoughts? >> that is the first thing you can work on is the federal government. i don't think they realize when they tell somebody we are going to test your animal after we kill it for rabies i'm thinking you don't have to take [bleep] test. he is dead. you've already killed him. if he had rabies what of it? again, he came in, and i read this and they said there was five complaints all from the same phone number all during the same day. so that karen struck again. after all of the good work that karen did to clean up her name with outing the assassination attempt at the golf course and now they are going after a squirrel. it just goes to show you how, they are just so dishonest and every aspect of everything. you went in there and you raid a house you said and they are

looking for for baby raccoons and all of these other animals and you found a squirrel that was happy to see you and it jumped into your arms and it wasn't until you started squeezing it that it that you. and you decide to put him down just say that. but you can't say that. this is what you hope from the federal government. to where you were going to have to call -- call it the p'nut act. because it is this type of when it comes to the everyday ordinary yes, they are different, they are not a traditional family they do some weird stuff or whatever, but you give them a chance. he is a squirrel open the door. >> greg: you know what, kat? there was that old line from the stalinist period, show me the man and i will show you the crime. this is show me the squirrel and i will show you the bite. >> it is also just the government basically just lie yank to make itself is sound better. it happens all the time. because he was going to get them in trouble?

there is never accountability from the government. we very rarely see that. it is like people love this will squirrel we didn't realize. maybe people didn't realize how famous the squirrel was, that the squirrel was a star. [laughter] i can understand, i guess, how you might draw that conclusion. without doing your research. but this is not just a squirrel this was a celebrity squirrel. that must have been how those guys felt, how they felt when they realized they took lady gaga french bulldogs. kind of like that. think about all of the squirrels that are rock stars or even human beings that are not stars of, never uncover this stuff. so this is this isn't like being mad about this for sure, but also think about how much more we do not know about. because the government just lies to make themselves sound better. >> greg: the tip of the fuzzy iceberg. what about fred?

for the raccoon he did not write anybody. >> what is and fred get more of the coverage here? fred is a great name. for the raccoon, p'nut the squirrel, who knew these two characters would emerge drink election season to represent so much. fred and p'nut forever is what i say. >> greg: of their deaths she'll not go in vain. >> they shall not have died in vain. there will be acts named after them and you piss off animal lovers you piss them off for life. this is what makes people so distressful. but this is where people lose faith in bureaucrats. >> greg: you know, jim, i was curious. have you ever given or gotten rabies? [laughter] >> no i have my rabies shot. i've given other things. but, i have an nda so i am good.

we always talking about the raccoon we are talking about him because nobody cares. work crews are nasty they are not cute so everybody is talking about the squirrel. >> greg: so you think it is look is on periods. >> yes, i had a squirrel in my attic for like three weeks, we caught it, the guy drove at 15 miles away and the thing came back three days later. that was amazing. how did he know? >> greg: maybe he just wanted to be with you. >> no because i was trying to kill it every night. i was putting poison in peanut butter. trying to kill him i don't care you are nasty. this guy is a weirdo for having animals in his house and he ways. >> greg: that was the weird part of? >> i thought so. you think everybody -- anybody is going to stay over at his house? like i'm good for staying overnight because your squirrel might mistake my testicles for

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yeah, i could do a cartwheel in here. oh hey! would you like to join us? no. we would love to join you. ♪ >> greg: tonight on wtf. what does that stand for? john krasinski has been named people magazines sexiest man alive for 2024. that is weird because i thought he was dead. kat, i thought he was dead, now i find out he is the sexiest man and he is alive. i'm so glad they added a live there. because is he dead, kat? kat, do you find him sexy?

>> no. and i find a lot of things sexy. i'm convinced that people are not watching the office and getting turned on. we are not? okay. also he made that joke we need to do more chores at home. does anybody understand what the [bleep] he is talking about? i do not get the joke. and my stupid? we have to do more sexy that will keep his feet on the ground. the best jokes are the ones that need to be explained. >> right? >> i know. do you think that he is hot? >> i do. >> ew. >> greg: it is funny whenever people ask a woman what do you find hot about a man? and they say sense of humour.

like no. show me an ugly guy who you find funny and is actually sexy. >> don't do it to me. don't do it. >> greg: people go don rickles i would really like to bang him. >> let's just say humour really enhances any man's looks. >> greg: disgusting. >> it depends it really does depend. look, i was say he is tall, he is funny, he has a family he adores. i love him in the office. >> breaking up families? >> greg: did he break about family? >> he did not break up a family. >> greg: he is trans? right? >> what? no. >> i love the office. there were moments i found some very attractive on the office. i will be honest i like this choice. if you look at the yellow circle that says 125 men we love i

wonder how many things they would have put. i bet tim walz would have been in there. >> greg: they probably had to drop him out. >> remember? they love that kind of masculinity. >> greg: he is the new man. you know we don't have a sexiest woman? we don't do that. i don't know, i don't read people. i read dead people. sexiest man in dead people? you know who that was? >> who? >> greg: lou rawls. i don't even know why that name popped up. ♪ ♪ you'll never find another love like mine ♪ ♪ >> that is sexy. >> thank you. >> greg: lou rawls. remember? >> no i don't. >> i think the... makes it even better. >> greg: what do you think of this choice of? >> i don't like that he said i guess i have to do more chores

around the house and i have to do all of those things. that means we knows who controls that relationship. his wife does. he gets a big award he is like i am going to have to, the next time i went toward the like most of [bleep] husband. but he can't just sit there and enjoy it? he says my wife is going to make me do chores. like you are sexy and like... like if i it and my wife is like can you cleanup? i'm going to say you'll have to find a guy he was a little bit more sexy i don't have to do the dishes. >> greg: tyrus, last word to you. >> i normally would not say this on tv but we need to talk to dr. drew this is tough on you. ladies and gentlemen he really wanted this. the training, the hours, the sacrifice, the haircuts. he worked on his abs,'s trap gain was stronger. >> greg: like watts. >> he did everything right. >> greg: glutes. >> now he has to live with the

fact that he got his ass kickeds fact that he got his ass kickeds by a w guy from stratton. >> greg: on that moment --sens notes we will avoid to anad excitinges topic, patients whodg clenched to avoid the stench. patients are going to love to see sensodyne on the shelf.

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♪ when brown comes to town you need a man who won't blush at the sound of a flush ♪ ♪ you need the year poo detective ♪ ♪ >> greg: tonight on poo detective, employees who are terrified of pooping at work. one in 12 people had never pooped at work and 43% of people are waiting all day two number 2 at home. you can poop anywhere? right? >> i go to the all gender bathroom because there is nobody ever in there. if i come out as a transgender person i was down there like listen, i'm sorry you might not want two in there. you might want to transition back into a male and go use the men's room.

>> greg: it is true, kat. there is something different about men and women pooping. >> i do not think the study can be trusted because they are british people. they do not need to poop at work because they are not there as often. >> greg: they are on the pub -- at the pub. >> they are not at work they are on holiday. >> greg: they are not taking poo they are having a poo. 30% of men admitted into casually passing gas around coworkers. that is another fact. >> again you need to stop pretending like because you used the king's english you are smart. you are not. win the british do these stupid surveys it is like a fake valour. you know. it really is, that is all we have seen in the last three and a half years. fake valour. and now it is going on to these

things where somebody apparently is more noble because they rip their bibles inside out because they hold it until they get home because i guess their family just needs to enjoy the eight hours you sad to baking one instead of going to the bathroom. because there is nothing more confusing at work when somebody goes into the bathroom to use the bathroom. that is why they have bathrooms there. and it is a 50, what are they going in for? one or the other. when you come nobody is like pee, right? is there somebody with a ticker going like that is the third time that you have peed today? >> greg: that is why you need the three. -- poo detective. you've worked with athletes you must have a lot of good poo stories. drove a lot of men around the country i was told you do not drop one on the man cruiser because a couple famous people

did. would not let you poo in the... cruiser. you had no choice you had to clench. >> greg: is that because he preferred people to do it on his chest that? >> excuse you, man, that is john madden. we are talking about a national treasure here. >> greg: and then says chest of drawers of. >> there you go. >> greg: john madden urinated next to me on the highway. because i pulled over. is that weird. i never forget that. >> i have another story. >> greg: but he never flies it. you only take the... of. >> is that the guy from theng video game? >> yes. >> yes. >> greg: all right, moving on.? drytech layer to keep you drier than depend. so you can laugh harder, and stay drier. we've got you, always. always discreet.

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(intercom) t minus 10... (janet) so much space! that open kitchen! (tanya) ...definitely the one! (ethan) but how can you sell your house when we're stuck on a space station for months???!!! (brian) opendoor gives you the flexibility to sell and buy on your timeline. (janet) nice! (intercom) flightdeck, see you at the house warming. >> greg: our guests, our studio audience, "fox news at night" is up next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america. >> trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher, 11:00 p.m. on