tv Gutfeld FOX News November 29, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PST
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[cheering and applause] [chanting] >> some of you weren't chanting... hello, everyone, welcome to a special addition of gutfeld, i'm joe mackey, filling in for greg who is getting his black friday shopping done at 7-eleven. i hope he gets me a twinkie again this year. anyway, it's friday. you know what that means. let's welcome to knights gas! she is from the kennedy family with no influence. kennedy! he is in the documentary, women aren't funny and he often proves men aren't either.
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she has been to the e.r. more times than evel knievel. and his story has asked you to stop lifting weights, maritimes best selling author, meeting, former nwa world champion, tyrus! okay. before we get to some new stories, let's do this. >> announcer: greg's leftovers. >> its leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this week. so if they do poorly, i will force joe to rub cranberry sauce all over my back. well, it is the day after thanksgiving. the day chris christie complains it is 364 days until next to the thanksgiving. but today i worked hard to get rid of 218 pounds. that's right, i put my aunt bernice back on a bus to
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pennsylvania. sources are denying that 50-year-old leonardo dicaprio is engaged to his 26-year-old model girlfriend. that makes sense, why would he marry someone that old? and why would she marry someone that old? a rutgers university study suggest diversity, equity, and inclusion programs can actually heighten racial tensions. supporters of those programs said, good, it's working. the attempted mar-a-lago trump assassin had points published from a letter he scent to "politico", that's got to hurt. that "politico" wants to hear what an attempted assassin has to say but not keith. catelyn gender and a run to
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replace gavin newsom as governor of california, promising to reduce legal immigration, fight crime and open stubborn jars of pickles. the world's oldest man has died at the age of 112. even more impressive than his age of course, was the way he died. during sex. nield the grass tyson claims men have no innate competitive advantage and sports. he also believes all of those doritos are helping him lose weight. all right gang, onto the monologue. so there was debate in the run-up to the election about whether the economy was doing well. which democrats thought it was while everyone else was busy setting up tents. you can tell things are in bad shape because america has been doing the same thing the roman empire did when it's economy faltered. adding distractions in the form of sports. people cannot afford a home?
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let's have men fight other men in cages. people can't afford a car? let's have women fight other women in cages. people can't afford eggs? let's have men fight women in cages. but rich democrats have missed a loss. for instance, in 1980, the average home cost three times or annual salary. in 2022 it was nearly double that. that is tough unless you are very rich and frugal like greg gutfeld. he tries to pay us writers with his autograph. but consider this. a recent study suggests the new generation believes it takes almost a $600,000 salary to be financially successful. that shows you they have no faith in the economy. in 2023, 45% of people 18-29 reported living with their parents still. wheel rages adjusted for inflation have been flatter than my washboard abs for most of the past two decades. so it is no surprise that with
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it taking longer to afford a home, the fertility rate is crashing like paul pelosi after a few too many white claws. for my entire life, under both parties, i witnessed america see the best things in life replaced with something worse. savings with debt, homeownership with an apartment, happiness with antidepressants, cars with electric cars. a long retirement with euthanasia, a spouse and kids with single and cats. greg gutfeld with me. some of it is no one's fault. society has changed, having children in the past could have provided an economic benefit, another mouth to feed quickly became more help on the farm. that does not work anymore. i can't have children to help me to stand up. i come home off the road and say, would have you wrote for me to me and he would show me a
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card that says daddy, i miss you and wish you were home more r i can't use that! but a lot of it is because our leaders have squeezed us at both ends like the time i wrestled those brazilian twins. shout out to beatrice and steve. they're identical, not fraternal. anyway, the government destroyed or manufacturing base with trade deals that literally pitted american workers against labor abroad. how will you think china makes millions of tvs and we make zero? and they destroyed our service industry with decades of open borders. the government has responded with fake statistics faker than the smiles rich sees when he comes home at night. meanwhile, are an employment rate drops when people stop looking for work. but it is not all negative. there's still a place where you can quickly earn a fortune with
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a good salary, retirement benefits and great job security. congress. the worst part is a lot of the problem, they call themselves republicans. trump won by a bigger margin than the so-called republican allies. the party of george w. bush and mitt romney cannot win a coalition in today's america. but how was trump thanked? they point susan collins to have the powerful senate appropriation colony. she is so republican she would probably get offered the job at msnbc. and rhinos like mitch mcconnell are attacking his nominees despite voting to approve merrick garland. why couldn't mitch freeze up then? if we are going to make america great, we cannot keep reelecting the people who made it mediocre. they're getting ritual managing america's slow decline into an irrelevant former power long bereft of glory. i don't know about you, but i don't want to end up like france. [applause]
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[applause] >> kennedy -- >> hello joe. a really from pennsylvania? >> i am, state college city of love. people call it pennsylvania's paris sometimes. i'm just spitball in, no one's buying it. no one's ever said that, okay. >> i'd love it if you went to penn state. >> improv involves a lot of agreeing with the person what's themselves out there. but i guess you didn't get the memo. [laughter] >> yes, and? >> i assume you're very smart. you have a number of very nice glasses. will the american dream of home ownership ever be achievable again? >> for you? yes. because even if it's six times her salary back that coleman tent is very much within reach for you. i believe you make about $230 a year? >> with what gutfeld pacemaker act that's a generous estimate.
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>> this is so weird because data also shows that so many people are living with their parents and if you are living with your parents, you're probably sleeping in their bed still because they are warm and cozy and it feels safe. and then when you have your girlfriend sleep in bed with you with your parents, it's really hard to get it on. it's its own category online. but still... and greatly difficult. >> i've never heard of that website. it takes a lot of game, likely of got that game. rich, you're obviously doing well, you have a new special out on amazon called anonymous, you have a number of rings and watches and accessories. [laughter] >> you have a number of rings and watches! >> i'm empty inside, yes. i have a special on amazon called anonymous and it is doing well. like in the clubs now, like before the special was on, i
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would bring my own curtain to the clubs and curtain off the second row so it would look full. now i curtain off the fourth row. so i got to add two more rows. [cheering and applause] >> that's a brilliant idea. but the point i was trying to make with the monologue is that my friend in california, he bought a house for $1.7 million. now he bought it from a man who was a gardener and not to disparage gartner's but it just seems like that dream is out of reach where homeownership was something that was how the middle-class build wealth. have you noticed a major difference in the time that you have been doing stand up? >> my wife and i, we have a gigantic -- a big house, we are both headliners. and the good thing is that we each have separate bedrooms because i snore and whatever. and after sex, i'm like, hey, look, you've got to run.
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i always tell her. and i give her one of my cds as she leaves and goes back to her room. take this with you. but listen, if you work hard, you will get a house. my kids have houses, my 7-year-old, were putting her out soon so she can get a house. you can do it. >> that's good to hear. to optimist and a route, "go to you now cat. you are legendary for being an optimist. but if things don't work out, would you consider moving back to michigan with pops? >> it's not that easy anymore. used to be easy because all of the boomers bought the houses for $14 and now they are a lot more than that. a lot of people work hard and still can't afford a house and i'm realizing, i don't think my baby is ever going to move out because of its already this bad, all be living in an apartment with a baby, except it won't be a baby, it will be like 45 and i'll be like really close to death. so you said you didn't want
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optimism but it is disheartening because a lot of people don't realize just how expensive it is to buy your first home right now. it is absolutely crazy. so that is why a lot of people just rent or live with 10 roommates. >> roommates are the worst. >> i'm the worst one. but, yes. >> i can't -- that's impossible, cat. >> oh, no, it's possible. >> pieris, wire so many wealthy democrats out of the loop with this? you interact with people every day. >> you want me to answer a question about a group of people that i would probably eat before i would even talk to? i think it just comes from when you have -- a lot of times people have their generational wealth. they come from money. so their parents and their grandparents worked their butts off and they got their money and they are completely out of touch with the rest of us who have
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peaks and valleys. you have good years and bad years and you have bad presidents and good presidents and americans kind of just roll with the punches. and those of us who are able to navigate and take our bumps and bruises and keep working and following the american dream, you will get there. but you have to be able to be honest with yourself. lick i to own a house in new york but i don't make new york money. but i could have a big [bleep] house in the midwest. so you go to the midwest and then don't be afraid to travel. i have been all over this country because i don't have a moment dad to go live with if things don't work out. if i can have a great house in beautiful nebraska but i won't be in the big city, that's the american thing, you find your lane and get into it and keep working and you take your bumps and eventually get there. i think the problem is with the elites and a lot of the young people who have first world problems, they think life is like the tv series where only takes about six episodes or weeks to get where you need to go.
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and that is not what it is. it takes years. you probably may not buy a house until you are in your 50s. but so be it. it is the journey, the work and how hard you are willing to go. it doesn't matter how expensive you get, is whether you want the buster but or not. >> all good points. [applause] before we go, come see me on tour. i'm coming to pennsylvania, arkansas, kansas and indiana, at my website for more information. and up next, trump is pushed break rope -- covid truth don't. liberty mutual customized my car insurance so i saved hundreds. with the money i saved i thought i'd get a wax figure of myself.
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>> announcer: a story in five words. [cheering and applause] >> 900 million on covid propaganda. they criticize the department of health for using manipulative tactics in its 900 million dollar we can do this approval of covert vaccination and compliance. a lot of things they did were using fear and tailored advertisements to try to coax people into things that weren't necessarily true. how many vaccines did you get? did you bleed? >> i got one right before the show. first of all, fear, in what that stands for? faults, evidence appearing real. that's what it stands for. and i live in fear at home. but when it came to the vaccine, $900 million they put in and
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thank god did drug companies not make any money. , they made $900 million the first hour from the vaccine. so i got the vaccine and i still got covid. so it is all bowl -- i don't want to curse but -- >> that may be offensive. >> but when i -- when i had covid it was thanksgiving. and my wife said go to your room and then the cleaning ladies came because we have a big house and we have cleaning ladies because we're doing well. so the cleaning ladies came and i was in my room and i heard my wife on the phone going, i'm hiding a jewish person in the bedroom. that was me. that is all i've got on this. [laughter] >> it was quite a journey, i enjoyed every minute of it. >> i think she was talking to the president of columbia university. >> we're off the rails already.
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meanwhile, rand paul claims the government is stonewalling it and hiding information. they knew a lot about the function, to have a lot of data on it but they are keeping it from him. he is hoping when trump gets in that we are going to find a what really happened. >> we should. i want to see all the stuff and it is so crazy because there is no such thing as taxpayer money, it is our money. so they are taking our money by force to then explain to us why we need to be forced to stay home. so it's like they are taking this money to then try to manipulate us further, it is so sick. i'm not over covid yet, i say this all the time. i feel like as it was happening, it was just kind of like one day and the next day and the next day but especially if you lived in somewhere like new york or california and you think about how long going to a restaurant was illegal, when you think about how people died alone, you think about all of these things, it is crazy that that was
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allowed to just happen. and everybody's just kind of like, okay,, groups. and everyone moved on with no accountability, let alone answers. answers is the start and then there should be accountability after that. >> to your point, it shocks me personally because we all have our rights infringed, we lost people, we could not visit people in the hospital. and i don't see any covid protest. people were like that was two years ago and i'm still mad about it. tyrus, you still upset about it? >> i think it's funny because everyone is ready to go after legacy media for telling lies for 10 years and manipulating. so did the medical community. and we are forgetting the fact that they first of all, it is
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not a vaccine. it is not the same thing. they just called it a vaccine. they didn't take the time, it was not made the same ways traditional vaccines were, plus they did not have the case studies and the time to know the side effects. but to your point, they were making checks. let's not forget the doctors who question it. dr. drew and dr. safire whose careers were ruined. they were taken off, they were quacks, they weren't allowed to be on tv anymore, deals were taken away. and then doctors who fell in line, who were then on tv, even her own network telling us the third booster was the best one and what not. i think there is going to be a reckoning. i am hoping with paul doing his thing that we will see accountability, not just for legacy media but for medical professionals, for pharmacy companies that knew they were selling alina [bleep] to the american people. even the surgeon general, there may be a coming of reckoning for her because she was the one out there saying take that third booster shot. there was all of these doctors saying this stuff and now we are seeing that they were so far wrong, the best thing in the world was going outside and putting some sun on your face. opposed to sticking yourself with a bunch of things that you hope worked out because there were small test groups of 100 to 1000 people that seemed okay.
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so i am saying hopefully one thing this country needs, we need a giant bath of accountability. for what we've seen these last two administrations, going out of their way to undermine president trump, the legacy media and you saw pharmaceutical companies and doctors willing to make the dollar instead of protecting the american people. so i'm hopeful that we will see some of this coming to light. [applause] >> great points tyrus, kennedy what are your thoughts? >> i will echo what tyrus is saying. because as a mom of school-age kids, i saw the damage that was done in terms of learning loss and mental health and a lot of these kids are still paying the price. but i have to say the one person who was a lonely job and a lonely voice in the senate was paul. and he took it with his medical expertise, he is a surgeon and he knows the lingo, he knows the
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codes, he knows the algorithms. he also knows the government. he was also raised by one of the greatest government sceptics this country has ever known, dr. ron paul. and he took his skill set and was one of the only people saying to him, you are hiding something. you are lying. he wrote a book about it, deception, the great covid-19 cover-up. and the one thing that gave me joy when i found out that republicans would have control of the senate was that he would be the chair of the governmental affairs committee and he would finally be able to access the information that has been hidden from him and millions and millions of americans. and it does take experts to read that stuff and tell us what the truth is. because it has been hidden from view and people paid with their lives and they paid with their careers. and covid is not done and i'm so happy that he is going to stand on the hill that he has chosen and he is going to live and he
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is going to make things right finally. because you have wasted so many lives and so much money and they can go suck it up their own little honey holes as far as i'm concerned. [applause] >> you know that story about government corruption taking away all of our rights wasn't as funny as it was going to be. god... [laughter] up next, the place where prices are low, said dei must go. bor f, we do business differently from the other guys. we design and test our own tools... and sell them directly to you. no middleman. no folks in suits telling us to raise prices for the heck of it. just quality tools you can trust... at prices you'll love. that's how we like to do business any way. whatever you do, do it for less at harbor freight. hurry in for black friday deals up to 70% off.
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children. what are your thoughts, are you for this? >> i think it's interesting because i think a lot of companies are for this because they spend millions and millions of dollars on these dei programs because they were bullied into it and it hurt the bottom line. it cut into their profits and they didn't have a lot to show for it. so robbie starbuck is a rabble-rouser and he has been shining a light on what he calls woke and he published something that said i'm going to expose walmarts dei program and walmart did not put out a statement saying there is nothing to see here, will sue the pants off you, don't ever come back. they said please come in, we will show you everything we are doing because we want to dismantle it right now. and walmart has just been making money hand over fist. whatever you should be doing in business, they have been doing it, serving their customers. and i think part of this,
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getting rid of dei -- dui -- when we all like to clean that off our records! they will set the standard for other massive corporations because it has only divided their employees and has not improved morale r and it certainly has not helped with sales. i know those adolescent, they will miss them. >> lots of good points there, especially how bullying works, boy does it ever. rich, will you shop at walmart? >> first of all, i love walmart. every time i come here, i realize how stupid i am when i hear these -- everybody talk. you guys -- anyhow, icope god, are you stupid. but i love walmart because i go to walmart when my self-esteem is low. and i will point to people and go at least i'm not him, right?
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and i just pray i don't see anybody pointing back at me. sometimes there are some hot girls and walmart but there's always like one little thing wrong with them. a bad leg or and i. >> but the other i, perfect. >> that's the thing about walmart. you don't really need a diversity initiative program at the walmart to learn things about the world. you can just walk around the walmart. because they sell so many different things and a lot of them are open 24 hours. you go into a walmart at 3:30, you can learn things you can't learn anywhere else. >> at 3:30, you can also buy a bowling ball, a rifle and a handsaw. you know what i mean? >> and get a onesie for your baby. >> i love that they put all of the mom-and-pop stores out of business, in what they mean? you can't park in a mom-and-pop store and sleep there.
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do it at walmart. >> rich, those hot pockets are going to make love to themselves. >> tyrus, is the woke dead? is this it? >> no, it's not dead. even after all of this, walmart released another statement saying they were still on their journey of inclusivity. so that one individual in the first world cfo is not going out until they drag him or her, they slog them what's out. the problem with this is that again, the population that they are supposedly fighting for is less than 1%. and of that population, if you have a son who is feeling that he's a girl or whatever the situation is, they just want to dress the way they want to dress. they don't want a shirt that says i'm transgender, they just want to make if they want a blouse, get them one. my kids are mixed, i don't get them shirts that says black tongan were assured that says black german or another shirt that says black hispanic. i got a lot of kids. and what i'm saying?
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and then another one that says black and black. so i wouldn't put my children in those shirts because i would rather you know their name. so there was no point to this. all of the stuff where you need the lgbt, guess what, men and straight men can buy the same shirts, in what i'm saying? there's no reason for it. >> people at bars tell me that all the time. >> exactly. >> when he said that, he looked right in my eyes... >> so again, let's leave walmart for what it's meant to be four. 400-pound women and their little carts fighting over atv until their batteries on their carts run out. let's get back to that. let's get back to what walmart was really meant for. a place for us all to go to feel a little better about ourselves. >> i went to walmart once and there was a woman with an open pack of markers at the cashier, she was there sniffing the markers. and then when i came up to buy my stuff, she offered me some. and i thought it was so nice that -- she had manners, should
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want to be rude, she was going to share her inhalants with me. >> when do you hit your marker bottom though? like how many markers until you go to meetings? >> i don't know. i feel like one marker in public at the workplace is plenty, yeah,. >> depends. if you start off with crayola markers, the water colours, it's when you get to the sharpies, that's when. >> then you go to dust off and you go to bathtub math. >> or that blue paste. >> river cement, wow. >> i never gave a strange guy a [bleep] for a number 2 pencil. >> don't knock it until you try it. >> coming up! [laughter] they say its groovy to sing at a movie.
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>> announcer: hot topics that we've come upon so find out just to side iran. there's no way to run and hide, choose aside because it's time for debate of the day ♪ [cheering and applause] >> our debate of the day, is it okay to sing along in movies. dwayne johnson seems to think so. the rock told bbc news on the red carpet of his new film that if you love music, you should sing along in the movie theatre.
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where you sit on this? >> i would never put myself in that situation. i would never put myself in a theatre where people might be singing. i just don't -- it makes me uncomfortable. but i also believe it's because i cannot sing and i really wanted to sing growing up. and i took lessons and then the woman called my mom and said i don't feel right taking your money. [laughter] so i know when i'm projecting and it would probably be that. >> tyrus, what you think? >> culture lead this is difficult for me. because i am usually yelling don't go in there back told you not to go in there! and then if someone starts singing, how my supposed yellow the movie? some little confused. we talked during the movie, to see you guys know. i think it's okay to sing at movies but here's the problem, it's a little arrogant. you are assuming that everyone knows the words to your new movie so you have to go a few times before you know the words. so i think if it is a christmas
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song and it's a children's movie and the kids are all singing, i think that's fine. i think you have to watch who is singing with them. maybe if there's a one eyed guy with a bad leg who all of a sudden comes in and start seeing next your kids, you may want to check him. but i think having fun at the movies, we probably need to get back to that. the worst thing that happened to me at the movies is someone broke out singing, i think that's still a good night. >> that's a fair point. i just don't like it when someone sings in public and they're really good. like they are just singing karaoke or something because, like, just stop showing off. but kennedy, they have special sing-along screenings now, can people just go to the special sing-alongs? >> i would go to the sing-along screenings. i cannot wait to go to wicked because everyone knows the words because it's a very popular broadway show. it is a person who was an musical theatre in high school, i cannot wait. nothing would bring me more joy than singing...
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♪ popular! you're going to be popular! ♪ like that would just make my life. i'm fine being segregated into the weirdos and the misfits, i will go to the movie with them. >> i was like that and couldn't saying. i was an musical theatre and didn't have any rules, charlotte's web i was the narrator. they made it up and i narrated when charlotte died. spoiler alert! >> i would sing in a movie if they showed the movie and my shower. that's the only time i would do it. the reason i do comedy is because musicians were picking up girls and i couldn't sing or play an instrument. and i was a freak so i went into comedy. singing -- i don't like it. [laughter] [laughter] >> that is a scalding hot take!
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>> it's overrated. >> we gave you these topics ahead of time... >> by the way that's not how you pronounce the name. >> how could i not have known that. perhaps i was too busy hanging out with the cool kids, surfing and smoking cigarettes. [laughter] >> we got more time to go... >> what's your favourite musical? >> when i see people complaining about singing in a movie, it's like find something else. >> i promise never to say we've got more time to fill out loud like that. but up next, comedian jim norton does stand up, all right! indigestion iberogast bloating iberogast thanks to a unique combination of herbs, iberogast helps relieve six digestive symptoms to help you feel better. six digestive symptoms. the power of nature. iberogast.
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[cheering and applause] >> all right, you know him as a legendary comedian and radio host, i know him as the guy who offers to buy beer for teenagers, please welcome jim norton! [cheering and applause] >> thank you. thank you. here's why i feel really great right now. rich is one of my closest friends and right before the show, he goes, i have use the
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bathroom and i said they're calling you out. so the entire time rich has been out here khaki has had to and i just want you to know that that makes me very happy and i will do a 45 minute set right now and my goal is to get him to whet his seat. i had a weird childhood -- you ever have a childhood memory come back? i was in fourth grade and i had a little girlfriend, and innocent cute girl named jill and we would hold hands and tell people we would get married someday and i wanted to give her a kiss, i had never kissed a girl so i said to my dad i want to kiss jill and my father really thought about it, he says here's what you're going to do. walk up, ask if you can smell her breath. when she breathes, lien and quis -- quick and kiss her. even in fourth grade i was like, i'm good. even at that age i realized that was ted bundy advice. hey, dad, i want to kiss jill
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what should i do? will put on a fake cast and see if she'll help you load a sofa into a van. i am approaching my third wedding anniversary. it's coming up -- pleas clap, i had to get her in the country. and i'm so stupid, i should have just flown to walrus and told her to walk through the bush. i love my wife very much but she is one of those people that always says something to make you feel worse. she has no ability to make another human being feel better at all. we were talking and she said to me with no irony, she goes i think you are really cute, why do so many people so you're ugly? i'm like, i don't know, i understand why you are curious but don't bring me into the exploratory committee to find out. we were watching something, i don't even remember what the film was or what it was about but the actor was doing
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something very macho and she was so disgusted with this macho behaviour. she goes i am so glad you are not an alpha. yeah,, what a lucky break. beta reporting for duty. i put arose in my mouth and squatted over a carrot. we fight often. every night. and it's the stupidest thing. i like it ice-cold when i sleep, my wife likes it 78 degrees. that's the actual temperature, i did not make up a number so you would also hate her. 78. i said to her, were you hatched? and i was talking to somebody and they go, that temperature argument you have with your spouse before going to bed, that's the worst part of being married. and i thought about it and it's
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not. the worst part about being married is that i'm not allowed to have sex with other people. isn't that everybody's number 1 answer? not the temperature. i'll sleep in the oven if i can have sex with one of her friends. but i am faithful. i truly am. what am i going to say? on television. even if i cheated, i would like to you. if i'm willing to deceive her, and willing to lie to you about it. it's not hard to be faithful when you look like this. all i have to do to be faithful is not pay a person to have sex with me. but the cheating -- the glory days of cheating or over. i love my wife -- here's why i don't cheat. i love my wife, i don't want to get caught... that's it. that's the only reason. i can separate sex and love, i
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would cheat and find a way to forgive myself. some guys are crazy. they're like i love my wife too much to cheat. that's great. i don't. but i love her too much to get caught. i love her too much to destroy the relationship for one moment of being selfish and smartphones have made it where you can't do it, it's impossible to get away with it anymore. everything is archived. everything is saved. the glory days of cheating were 2007 and the 14 billion years before that. i would say from the big bang to the second bush administration, cheat, it's easy. but now you can do it. if i could get away with it, i would do it. if i could get away with cheating, -- i live very close. if i'm walking home tonight and a woman goes, hey, look, i'm going to jump off the chrysler building and one minute, would you have sex with me? i would be delighted. one minute is a very short window to get caught.
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it might hurt my feelings that she is going to jump off a building and she needs motivation and then she sees me and she's like, i guess i'll have sex with him. but i would congratulate her on choosing someone who could get it done in the allotted time frame. great news lady, you will have time to write a note. thanks a lot, thank you very much! [cheering and applause] right back! ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ask your doctor about farxiga.
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