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go go go. cho cho cho cho cho cho cho. co co co co co co. some of you weren't chanting. hi everyone. welcome to a special edition of gutfeld! i'm joe mckee filling in for greg who's getting his black friday shopping done at 7-eleven. i hope he gets me a twinkie again this year. anyway, it's friday, so you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guests. she's from a kennedy family with no influence. host of the kennedy saves the world podcas. kennedy. he's in the documentary women aren't funny, and he often proves men aren't either. comedian rich vos.

she's been to the er more times than evel knievel, york times best selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf. and historians asked him to stop lifting weights with plymouth rock. new york times best selling author, comedian and former nwa world champion tyru. okay, before we get to some new stories, let's do this. greg's leftovers. it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this week, so if they do poorly, i'll force joe devito to rub cranberry sauce all over my back. well, it's the day after thanksgiving. the day chris christie complains that it's 364 days till next thanksgiving. but today i worked hard to get rid of 218 pounds. that's right. i put my aunt bernice on a bus back to pennsylvania. sources are

denying that 50 year old leonardo dicaprio is engaged to his 26 year old model girlfriend. that makes sense. why would he marry someone that old? and why would she marry someone that old? a rutgers university study suggests diversity, equity and inclusion programs can actually heighten racial tensions. supporters of those programs said. good. it's working. the attempted mar-a-lago trump assassin had talking points published from a letter he sent to politico. that's gotta hurt. the politico wants to hear what an attempted assassin has to say, but not keith olbermann. caitlyn jenner hinted at a run to replace gavin newsom as governor of california, promising to reduce

illegal immigration, fight crime and open stubborn jars of pickles. the world's oldest man has died at the age of 112. even more impressive than his age, of course, was the way he died during sex. neil degrasse tyson claims men have no innate competitive advantage in sports. he also believes all those doritos are helping him lose weight. okay, gang, on to the monologue. so there was a debate in the run up to the election about whether the economy was doing well. rich democrats thought it was well, everyone else was busy setting up tents. you can tell things are in bad shape because america has been doing the same thing. the roman empire did when its economy faltered, adding distractions in the form of sports. people can't afford a home. let's have men fight

other men in cages. people can't afford a car. let's have women fight other women in cages. people can't afford eggs. let's have men fight women in cages. but rich democrats have missed a lot. for instance, in 1980, the average home cost three times your annual salary. in 2022, it was nearly double that. that's tough. unless you're very rich and frugal like greg gutfeld. he tries to pay us writers with his autograph, but consider this a recent study suggests gen z believes it takes almost $600,000 salary to be financially successful. that shows you they have no faith in the economy in 2023, 45% of people 18 to 29 reported living with their parents. still real wages adjusted for inflation, have been flatter than my washboard abs for most of the past two decades. so it's no surprise that with it taking longer to afford a home, the

fertility rate is crashing. like paul pelosi after a few too many white claws. for my entire life, under both parties, i've witnessed america see the best things in life replaced with something worse savings with debt, homeownership with an apartment, happiness with antidepressants, cars with electric cars, a long retirement with euthanasia, a spouse and kids with single and cats. greg gutfeld with me. some of it is no one's fault society's changed. having children in the past could have provided an economic benefit. another mouth to feed quickly became more help on the farm. that doesn't work anymore. i can't have children to help me do stand up. i come home off the road and say, what have you wrote for me, timmy? and he

would show me a card that says, daddy, i miss you and wish you were home more. i can't use that. but a lot of it is because our leaders have squeezed us at both ends. like. like the time i wrestled those brazilian twins. shout out to beatrice and steve. they're identical. not fraternal rich. anyway, the government destroyed our manufacturing base with trade deals that literally pitted american workers against slave labor abroad. how else do you think china makes millions of tvs? and we make zero? then they destroyed our service industry. with decades of open borders. the governor's response the government has responded with fake statistics. faker than the smiles rich sees when he comes home at night. meanwhile, our unemployment rate drops when people stop, stop looking for work. but it's not all negative. there's still a place we can quickly earn a fortune with a good salary, retirement

benefits and great job security. congress. the worst part is a lot of the problem. they call themselves republicans. trump won by bigger margins than his so-called republican allies, the party of george w and mitt romney can't win a broad coalition in today's america. but how is trump thanked? they appoint susan collins to head the powerful senate appropriations committee. she's so republican, she'd probably get offered a job at msnbc. and rhinos like mitch mcconnell are reportedly attacking his nominees despite voting to approve merrick garland. why couldn't mitch freeze up then? if we're going to make america great, we can't keep reelecting the people who made it mediocr. they're getting rich while managing america's slow decline into an irrelevant former power long bereft of glory. i don't know about you, but i don't want to end up like france, period. kennedy, i assume you.

how are you? good. are you really from pennsylvania? i am from pennsylvania state college. city of love. people call it pennsylvania's paris. sometimes i'm just spitballing. no one's. no one's buying it. no. no one's ever said that. okay, love, if you went to penn state. well, you know, improv involves a lot of agreeing with the person who puts themselves out there but apparently didn't get that memo. yes. and i assume you're very smart. you own a very number, a number of very nice glasses. will the american dream of home ownership ever be achievable again for you? yes. because even if it's six times your salary, that coleman tent is very much within reach for you. because i believe you make about $230 a year. well, with gutfeld pays me. that's about. that's a little. that's a generous estimate. yeah, it's

this is so weird because the data also shows that so many people are living with their parents. and if you're living with your parents, you're probably sleeping in their beds still, because they're warm and cozy and it feels safe. and then when you have your girlfriend sleep in bed with you, with your parents, it's really, really hard to get it on. it's its own category on pornhub. but still incredibly difficult. i've never heard of that website personally. it takes a lot of game. luckily i've got that game, but rich, you're obviously doing very well. you've got a new special out on amazon called anonymous. you have a number of rings and watches. yeah, accessories. i'm empty. a number of rings and watches. i'm i'm empty inside. yeah. i have a special on amazon. rich vos anonymous. and it's doing well like in the clubs now like before the special was was on i would, you

know, bring my own curtain to the clubs and curtain off the second row so it'll look full now. now i curtain off the fourth row. so i added two more rows after. yeah. that's a brilliant idea. but the point i was trying to make with the monologue is that my friend in california, he bought a house recently for $1.7 million. now he bought it from a man who was a gardener. and not to disparage gardeners, but it just seems like that dream is out of reach. where is homeownership is something that it was how the middle class built wealth. and have you noticed a major difference in the in the time that you've been doing stand up? well, my wife and i, we have a gigantic i'm a big house. we're both headliners. the thing is, and the good thing is we each have separate bedrooms because, you know, i snore and whatever. and after sex, you know, i'm like, hey, look, you got to run. you

know, i always tell her, you know, and i give her one of my cds as she leaves and goes back to her room, you know, take this with you. but listen, you're going to if you work hard, you'll get a house. my kids have houses. my seven year old, you know, we're putting her out soon. she'll get a house so you can do it. that's that's good to hear. two optimists in a row. cat, i'm going to go to you. yeah. you're legendary for being an optimist. but if things don't work out, would you consider moving back to michigan with pops? no, i mean, it's not that easy anymore. it used to be easy because all the boomers bought the houses for $14, and now they're a lot more than that. so it's hard. i think it's a lot of people work hard and still can't afford a house, and i'm just realizing i don't think my baby's ever going to move out, because if it's already if it's already this bad. so i'm going to be living in an apartment with a baby. except it won't be a baby. it'll be like 45, and i'll be, like, real close to death. and

so you said you didn't want optimism, right? and you came to the right place. it is disheartening because a lot of people don't realize just how expensive it is to buy your first home. right now, it's absolutely crazy. and, you know, so that's why a lot of people just they just rent or live with ten roommates or you know, roommates, they are the worst. yeah, i'm the worst one. yes. i can't that's impossible. cat. oh, no. it's possible. tyrus. why are so many wealthy democrats so out of the loop with this? you think you would just. you interact with people every day? you want me to answer a question about a group of people that i would probably eat before i would even talk t? i think it just comes from when you have a lot of times people have their generational wealth, right? so they come from money. so their parents and their grandparents work their off and then they got their money, and then they're completely out of touch with the rest of us who have peaks and valleys. you

have good years and bad years, and you have bad presidents and good presidents and americans. we just kind of roll with the punches and those of us who are able to navigate and take our bumps and bruises and keep working and following the american dream, you will get there. but you have to you have to be able to be honest with yourself like, i want to own a house in new york, but i don't make new york money. but i can have a big house in the midwest. so you go to the midwest and then you you don't be afraid to travel and try. and i've been all over this country because i don't have mom and dad to go live with if thing doesn't work out. so if i can have a great house in beautiful kearney, nebraska. but i won't be in the big city. that's the american thing. you find your lane, you get into it, you keep working, you take your bumps, and eventually you'll get there. i think the problem is with the elites and a lot of the young people who have first world problems, they think life is like the tv series where it only takes about six episodes or weeks to get where you need to go, and

that's not what it is. it takes years. you probably might not buy a house until you're in your 50s, but so be it. but it's the it's the journey, the work and how hard you're willing to go. it doesn't matter how expensive you get. those are just whether you want to bust your or not. all good points before we go. before we go. come see me on tour. i'm coming to pennsylvania, arkansas, kansas and indiana. go to joe mackey.com for more info. and up next, rand paul pushes trump for a covid truth dump. yeah. if you'll be in the new york area, i would like tickets to see gutfeld go to foxnews.com. slash, gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. this program is brought to you by liberty mutual insurance. only pay for what you need. liberty mutual customized my car insurance, so

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make the world a better place. a story in five words. 900 million on covid propaganda rich a house report criticized the department of health and human services for using manipulative tactics in its 900 million we can do this campaign to promote covid vaccination and compliance. a lot of the things they did were using fear and tailored advertisements to try to coax people, even with things that weren't necessarily true. how many vaccines did you get? did you believe it? i got one right before the show. first of all, fear. you know what fear stands for? false evidence appearing real. that's what fear stands for. and i live in fear at home. but when it came, when it came to the vaccine, you know, they 900 million they put in and thank god the drug companies didn't

make any money. jesus. they made 900,000,000in the first hour from the vaccine. all right. so i got the vaccine and i still got covid. you know, so it's all i don't want to curse, but that might be offensive. well, when i got to back when i had covid, it was thanksgiving. and my wife said, go to your room, you know, and then the cleaning ladies came because we have a big house and we have cleaning ladies because we're doing well. and so the cleaning ladies came and i was in my room and i heard my wife on the phone going, i'm hiding a jew in the bedroom. okay, that that was me. that's all i got on this. it was quite a journey and i enjoyed every minute of it. i think she was talking to the president of columbia university. yes, we we're off the rails already. cat. cat.

meanwhile, rand paul claims the government is stonewalling and hiding information. they knew a lot about gain of function. they have a lot of data on it, but they're keeping it from him. he's hoping when trump gets in that we're going to find out what really happened. we should i want to see all this stuff. and it's so crazy because there's no such thing as taxpayer money. it's our money. so they're taking our money by force to then explain to us why we need to be forced to stay home. so it's like they're taking this money to, to then try to manipulate us further. it's so sick. i mean, i'm not over covid yet. i say this all the time. i feel like as it was happening, it was just kind of like one day and it was the next day and it was the next day. but when you think, especially if you lived in somewhere like new york or like california, and you think about how long going to a restaurant was illegal, when you think about how people died alone, you think about all these things. it's crazy that

that was allowed to just happen and that everybody's just kind of like, okay, well, whoops. and then everyone's moved on with no accountability, let alone answers. answers is the start. and then there should be accountability. after that. yeah. to your point, it shocks me personally because, you know, we all had our rights infringed. we lost people. we couldn't visit people in the hospital. and i don't see any covid protests. and people are like, well, that was two years ago and i'm still mad about i am too stuff from high school. tyrus, are you still upset about it? well, i think i think it's funny because everyone's ready to go after legacy media, right, for telling lies for ten years and manipulating. well, so did the medical community. and we're forgetting the fact that that they first of all, it's not a vaccine. it's not the same thing. they just called it a vaccine. they didn't take the time. it wasn't made under the same way as the traditional vaccines were. plus, they didn't have the case studies and the time to know the side effects. but they were like to your point, they were making checks. and let's not forget the doctors who questioned it. the doctor,

drews and the doctor sapphires who were careers were ruined. they were taken off. they were quacks. they weren't allowed to be on tv anymore. their deals were taken away. and then doctors who fell in line, who were then on tv, even our own network telling us the third booster was the best one and whatnot. i think there's going to be a reckoning. i think there's going to be, and i'm hoping with with doge and president trump and, and rand paul doing his thing, that we're going to see accountability, not just for legacy media, for telling lies, but for medical professions, for pharmacy companies that knew they were selling a line of to the american people. even the surgeon general. there might be a time of reckoning for her because she was the one out there saying, hey, take that third booster shot you've got. there was all these doctors saying this stuff, and now we're seeing that they were so far wrong that the best thing in the world was going outside and putting some sun on your face, as opposed to sticking yourself with a bunch of stuff that you just hoped worked out. because they're small test groups of 100 to 1000 people seemed okay. so i think there's going to be

hopefully this one thing, this country needs is we need a giant bath of accountability across the board for the last, for what we've seen in these last two administrations, when they were going out of their way to undermine president trump, when it was legacy media. and you saw pharmaceutical companies and doctors willing to make the dollar instead of they instead of protecting the american people. so i'm hopeful that we'll see some of these things come to light. great points, tyrus kennedy. what are your thoughts? so i'm going to echo what tyrus is saying, because, you know, as a mom of school age kids, i saw the damage that was done to in terms of learning loss and mental healt. and a lot of these kids are still paying the price. but i have to say, the one person who was a lonely job and he was a lonely voice in the senate was rand paul. yes. and he took it to fauci with his medical expertise. he is a surgeon. and he he knew he knows the lingo.

he knows the codes. he knows the algorithms. he also knows government. he was also raised by one of the greatest government skeptics this country has ever known, doctor ron paul. and you know, he took his skill set and he was one of the only people saying to fauci, you are hiding something. you are lying. he wrote a book about it, deception the great covid 19 coverup and the one thing that that gave me joy when i found out that republicans would have control of the senate, is that he would be the chair of the governmental affairs committee, and he would finally be able to access the information that has been hidden from him. and millions and millions of americans and it does take experts to read that stuff and tell us what the truth is, because it has been hidden from view and people pay with their lives and they paid with their careers, and covid is not done. and i'm so happy that that rand paul is going to stand on the hill, that he has chosen and he is going to live, and he's going to make things right, finally, because they wasted so

many lives and so much money and they can go, they can go suck it up their own little honey holes. as far as i'm concerned. hello. it's, you know, that story about government corruption and taking away all of our rights wasn't as funny as i thought it was going to be. god. wow. up next, the place where prices are low said i must go. nearly 1 in 4 u.s. consumers have been a victim of identity theft, even when they did all the right things to protect their personal information. i did everything right, but an institution that had my data didn't, and now my identity has been stolen. banks, hospitals, employers and other institutions all have your personal information too. and when they're exposed, careful monitoring of your accounts and credit won't be enough. i changed my passwords all the time. i shred my documents. i

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it's very interesting because i think a lot of companies are for this because they spent millions and millions of dollars on these dei programs, because they were bullied into it. and it really it hurt the bottom line. like it cut into their profits and they didn't have a lot to show for it. so robby starbuck, who you know, i guess he's he's a disrupter. he's a rabble rouser. and he has been shining a light on what he calls wokeness. and so he he published something that said, i'm going to expose walmart's dei program. and walmart didn't put out a statement saying there's nothing to see here. we'll sue the pants off your starbucks. don't ever come back. they said, oh, please come in. we'll show you everything. we're doing because we want to dismantle it right now. and walmart has just been making money hand over fist. whatever you should be doing in business, they've been doing it serving their customers. and i think part of this like getting rid of dui, dui, dui, you know, what do we all love to clear that off of our records. but, you know, clearing the dei

decks, they are going to set the standard for other massive corporations because it is only divided their employees. it hasn't improved morale. and it certainly it hasn't helped with sales. so i know those adolescent vibrators, they're really going to miss them. but lots of great points, especially about how bullying works. boy does it ever. rich. are you still going to shop at walmart? first of all, i love walmart. well, first of all, every time i come here i realize how stupid i am when i hear these everybody talk. i mean, you guys, you know, so anyhow, i, i just know i go, god, are you stupid? but i love walmart because i go to walmart when my self-esteem is low and i'll and i like point at people and go least i'm not him. right. and i just pray i don't

see anybody pointing back at me. okay. i just sometimes there's some hot girls in walmart, but there's always like one little thing wrong with them. a bad leg or an eye. but you can get past that. you can get past the other eye. perfect. you don't need. that's the thing about walmart is like, you don't really need like a diversity initiative program at the walmart to learn things about the world. you can just walk around the walmart because they they sell so many different things, and a lot of them are open 24 hours. you go to a walmart 330, you can learn things you can't learn anywhere else. yeah, you can also at 330 buy like, you know, a bowling ball, a rifle and a handsaw. you know what i mean? yeah. and then get like a little onesie for your baby while you're at it. it's so i love that they put all the mom and pop stores out of business, because you know what i mean? you can't park in a mom and pop store and sleep there. you can do it at

walmart. no, rich, those hot pockets aren't going to make love to themselves. tyrus is woke dead. is this it? no, it woke is not dead. it's even after all of this. walmart released another statement saying that they were still on their journey of inclusivity so that one individual, the first world cfo, was not going out until they drag him or her. they them out the problem with this is that again, this the population that they're supposedly fighting for is less than 1%. and of that populatio, if you have a son who's feeling that he's a girl or whatever the situation is, they just want to dress the way they want to dress. they don't want a shirt that says, i'm transgendered. they just want a if they want a blouse blouse, they want a collar and collar. my kids are mixed. i don't get them shirts that says black, tongan or a shirt that's like black german or another shirt that says black hispanic. i got a lot, you know what i'm saying? and then my other one

that says black and a black. so i wouldn't put my children in those shirts because i would rather you know their name. so there was no point to this. all the stuff with the you need an lgbtq section. guess what? gay men and straight men can buy the same shirts. you know what i'm saying? there's no reason for it. people at bars tell me that all the time. yes, exactly. and when he said that, he looked right in my eyes. yes. so again, let's leave walmart for what it's meant to be for 400 pound women in their little carts fighting over a tv until their batteries on their carts run out. let's get back to that. let's just get back to what walmart was really meant for a place for us all to go, to feel a little better about ourselves, i would. i went to walmart once and there was a woman with an open pack of markers at the cashier. she was the cashier sniffing the markers, and when and then when i came up to buy my stuff, she offered me some. and i thought it was so nice that, like, she

she had manners. she wanted to be rude. she was going to share her inhalants with me. yes. when do you hate your marker bottom? no. like how many markers until you go to meetings? i don't know, i feel like i feel like one marker in public at the workplace is plenty. yeah, well it depends if you start off with, like, crayola markers, the watercolors, i think it's when you get into the sharpies that you're in trouble. oh that's one. well then then you go to dust off and then you go to bathtub meth. so there is glue paste that will get you the rubber cement. i'll tell you, i never gave i never gave a strange guy for a number two pencil. don't knock it till you try it. coming up, the rock says it's groovy to sing at a movie. repent. come and be baptized in the river jordan. where are you coming from?

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this? i would never put myself in that situation. i would never put myself in a theater where people might be singing. i just, i don't. yeah, it's just it makes me uncomfortable. but it's also, i believe, because i myself can't sing and i really wanted to sing growing up. and i took lessons. and then the woman called my mom and said, i don't feel right taking your money. wow. so i think it's, you know, i know when i'm projecting, you know, and this would probably be that. tyrus, what do you think? culturally, this is difficult for me. i know, because i'm usually yelling, don't go in there. oh. i told you not to go in there. and then somebody starts singing. how am i supposed to yell at the movie? so i'm. i'm a little confused. so we talked during the movie. yeah. so just so you guys know, i think it's okay to sing at movies, but here's the problem. it's a little arrogant. you're assuming that everyone knows the words to your new movie. so you have to go a few times before you know the words. so i think if it's a christmas song and you got and it's a

children's movie and the kids are all singing, i think that's fine. i think you got to watch who's singing with them. maybe if there's a one eyed guy with a bad leg, all of a sudden comes in and starts singing next to your kids, you might want to check him, but i think having fun at the movies, we probably need to get back to that. let's have some. oh, the worst thing that happened to me at the movies is somebody broke out singing. i think that's still a good night. that's that's a fair point. i just i don't like it when someone sings in public and they're really good, but they're, they're just singing karaoke or something because like, stop showing off. yeah. like kenned, i mean, they have special sing along screenings now, can't people just go to the special sing along? that's fine. i would go to the sing along screenings like i cannot wait to go to wicked because everyone knows the words to wicked because it's a very popular broadway show. but as a person who was a musical theater in high school, like i cannot wait, like nothing would bring me more joy than singing popular, you gotta be popular with a bunch of people at

wicked like that was that would make my life see, i'm fine. i'm fine being segregated into, like, the weirdos and the misfits and the untouchables. i will go to the movie with them. see, i, i was uncomfortable and couldn't sing. i was in musical theater and i didn't have any roles. charlotte's web, i was the narrator. they made it up. i narrated it when charlotte died. spoiler alert rich. it's ridiculous. i would sing in a movie if they showed the movie in my shower. that's the only time i would do it. i can't see the reason i do comedy because musicians were picking up girls and i couldn't sing or play an instrument, and i was a freak, so i go, comedy, you know what i mean? singing. it's. i don't like it. that is a scalding hot take. overrated. we gave you

these topics ahead of time. and by the way, joe, it's moana, it's moana. i how could i not have known that? perhaps i was too busy hanging out with the cool kids, surfing and smoking cigarettes. you. well, we got more time to fill, so, what's your favorite musical? i just i think it's when i see people complain about singing in a movie, it's like, find something else. yeah, i promise never to say we've got more time to fill out loud again like that. yes, but up next, comedian jim norton does stand up. all right. you wish you were hot turkey. we wish you a whole ham. we wish you all the size and fixings. and it's all to go. i guess you won't get to burn the turkey this year. funny. and it's all to go.

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all right. you know him as a legendary comedian and radio host. i know him as the guy that offers to buy beer for teenagers. please welcome jim norton. oh, thank you, thank you. i'm. i feel here's why i feel really great right now. rich vos is one of my closest friends. and right before the show, he goes, i got to use the

bathroom, and i'm like, no, no, they're calling you out. so the entire time rich has been out here, he has had to urinate. and i just want you to know that that makes me very happy. and i'm going to do a 45 minute set right now. and my goal is to get him to wet his seat. i had a weird childhood. do you ever have a childhood memory? come back when i was in fourth grade, i had a little girlfriend very, very innocent. kind of cute named jill. we would hold hands, tell people we were going to get married someday, and i wanted to give her a kiss. i had never kissed a girl. so i said to my dad, i want to kiss jill. what should i do? my father really thought about it, and he goes, all right, here's what you do. walk up, ask her if you can smell her breath when she breathes. lean in quick and kiss her. even in fourth grade, i was like, i'm good. even at that age, i realized that was ted bundy ish advice. hey, dad, i want to kiss jill. what should

i do? well, you put on a fake cast and see if she'll help you load a sofa into a van. i'm. i'm approaching my third wedding anniversary. it's coming up very, very. no, no, no, don't. please clap. i had to get her into the country and i'm so stupid. i should have just flown to juarez and told her to walk through a bush. i love my wife very much, but she's one of those people that always says something to make you feel worse. she never has no ability to make another human being feel better at all. we were talking and she said to me with no irony, she goes, i think you're really cute. why does so many people say you're ugly? i'm like, i don't know. i understand why you're curious, but don't bring me on to the exploratory committee to figure it out. we were watching something. i don't even remember what the film was or what it was about, but the

actor was doing something very macho, and she was so disgusted with this macho behavior. she goes, i am so glad you're not an alpha. yeah, what a lucky break. me too. peter cook, reporting for duty. and i. and i put a rose in my mouth and squatted over a carrot. we fight often every night, and it's the stupidest thing. i like it ice cold when i sleep. my wife likes it 78 degrees. and that's the actual temperature. i didn't just make up a number. so you'd also hate her. 78 i said to her, were you hatched? and i was talking to somebody and he goes, that temperature argument that you have with your spouse before going to bed. he goes, that's the worst part about being married. and i thought about it, and it's not. the worst

part about being married is that i'm not allowed to have sex with other people. isn't that everybody's number one answer? not the temperature. i'll sleep in the oven if i can have sex with one of her friends. but i am faithful. i truly am. i mean, what am i going to say? i'm on televisio. i mean, even if i cheated, i would lie to you. i mean, if i'm willing to deceive her, i'm willing to lie to you about it. but it's not hard to be faithful when you look like that. you know, all i have to do to be faithful is not pay a person to have sex with me. but the cheating, the glory days of cheating are over. i love my wife. here's why i don't cheat. i love my wife. i don't want to get caught. that's it. that's the only reason i can separate

sex and love. i could cheat and i'd find a way to forgive myself. some guys are crazy. they're like, i love my wife too much to cheat. that's great. i don't, but i love her too much to get caught. i love her too much to destroy the relationship for one moment of being selfish. and smartphones have made it where you just can't do it. it's impossible to get away with it anymore. everything is archived. everything is saved. the glory days of cheating were 2007, and the 14 billion years before that, i would say from the big bang to the second bush administration cheat. it's easy, but now you can't do it. if i couldn't get away with it, i would do it. so i'm not here to teach a lesson. if i could get away with cheating like i live very close here. if i'm walking home tonight and a woman goes, hey, look, i'm going to jump off the chrysler building in one minute, would you have sex with me? i would be delighted. one minute. it's a very short window to get caught. it might hurt my

feelings that she's going to jump off a building and she needs motivation. and then she sees me and i'm like, oh, i have sex with him. but i would congratulate her on choosing someone who could get it done in the allotted time frame. hey, great news lady. you're going to have time to write a note. all right, thanks a lot. thank you very much. thanks, jim. norton, don't go away. we'll be right back. for more than a decade, farxiga has been trusted again and again. and again. ask your doctor about pozsega this christmas. give a gift that keeps on giving to your loved ones and our country. when you purchase

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