can find. >> it's this kind of energy that makes us the bad guys in talking animal movies. >> animal control. all new thursdays on fox and watch anytime on hulu. >> who do you think this child will ever see? >> peace. >> that's what i'll be fighting for. >> all right. unfortunately, that is all the time we have left this evening. as always, thank you for being with us. thank you for making this show possible. please set your dvr so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of hannity. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. why? greg gutfeld is up next to put a smile right there on your face. have a great weekend. we'll see you monday.

ha ha ha. >> oh, yeah. hey! kari. kari. kari. kari. kari. stop it! >> stop it! >> i barely had anything to do with it. >> don't call me. all right. >> good evening, everyone. >> so it's joe biden's presidency is nearly over. his staff has all but checked out. they've even stopped changing the batteries in his life. >> alert! in an interview with usa today, the old coot insisted he could have beaten trump in the election. in fact, only two things were holding him back his widespread unpopularity and breathing. elizabeth warren harped on pete hegseth christian tattoo, suggesting he may be an insider

threat against warren. will do anything to get a scalp. but what a hypocrite. to talk about hegseth having a troubling tattoo. have you seen liz's? wow. her back hasn't aged a bit. call me liz. two death row inmates whose sentences were commuted by joe biden are refusing the clemency. perhaps they're going to hold out for donald trump, who is offering them a great last meal. yeah, from french fries to getting fried. sunny austin's husband, emmanuel, an orthopedic surgeon, has been named in a new york rico case involving federal insurance fraud. still, i hear he's a great surgeon. he even did joy behar's hoof replacement. sean diddy combs

is reportedly angry that his fellow inmate, luigi mangione, is getting more attention than he is. after all, he shoots guys from behind all the time. >> oh. >> a new study found that nearly half of americans carry spare underwear for emergencies, but experts claim that one man alone brought the average up. and finally, the biden white house is working to effectively ban cigarettes. great. now, what will i do after sex? well, i guess just close the laptop. so this week, mark zuckerberg added ufc boss and trump supporter dana white to meta's board of directors. and dana didn't even have to put zuckerberg in a rear naked choke hold to make him do it. the next day, zuck announced meta was cutting its fact

checking program on facebook and instagram. the program was installed after the 2016 election to manage so-called misinformation, but they now admit it went too far. because those fact checkers were too biased. in other words, the rats are bringing good people on board to stop their ship from sinking. here's zuck. >> we've reached a point where it's just too many mistakes and too much censorship. the recent elections also feel like a cultural tipping point towards once again prioritizing speech. we tried in good faith to address those concerns without becoming the arbiters of truth. but the fact checkers have just been too politically biased and have destroyed more trust than they've created, especially in the us. so over the next couple of months, we're going to phase in a more comprehensive community notes system. it's gone too far. >> so the first question you got to ask yourself is if this guy is worth billions, would it kill him to stop cutting his own hair? well, but also, would

this have happened if kamala had won? no. zuck read the writing on the transgender bathroom wall. daddy's home. time to clean up your act. of course, fact checking outfits are. one of them called full fact, whined about zuck's decision, claiming that fact checkers are the first responders of the internet. yeah, like the ones in north carolina that refuse to help people with trump signs on their lawns. they said, quote, we believe the public has a right to access our expertise. so what exactly is that expertise? well, here's a recent fact check quote. michelle obama is not a man. so now they can define a woman. so this company got millions from facebook. they didn't touch the fine people hoax. the drinking bleach hoax or the hunter laptop is russian disinfo hoax.

instead of debunking the most destructive hoaxes out there, they chased trolls and memes designed to make them look stupid. it worked. everyone knows michelle's a man. i'm joking. stop it! a beautiful, beautiful woman. barack. but this facebook thing is a big deal. because on the to do list for maga, it's at the top. the return of free speech. remember, it was meta who elected biden under the lie of disinformation, which means information democrats don't like or want you to see. meta has 3 billion users worldwide, so getting zuck to see the light changes the course for the better. and it seems we really are changing course. you can feel it. an absolute nationwide sigh of relief. trump's time's person of the year. abc had to pay millions to him for lying. cnn and msnbc are getting less viewers than

ana navarro's shower cam. it's true. the media is like larry kudlow when he says this won't hurt a bit. no one believes them anymore. true, the left wing matrix of hoaxes is imploding. like brian stelter's favorite hammock. identity politics. identity politics has been destroyed. taking with it die anti-white racism and any woman of the year who wakes up with a. alone. if you're in the media, you're toast. clip all the out-of-context quotes you want. that stuff doesn't work. i guess you'll have to do some real reporting again. and the liz cheney's the kinzinger's. you're done. not only do the winners hate you, the losers do too, for you made them lose worse. call it the trump effect. it's the freedom to say what you know is real, not what the media tells you is true. it's now okay to say a man can't be a woman, or that biden is demented, or that taylor

swift is a six at best. and that's thanks to trump, because before, if you said all that, you'd be labeled a trumper and a target of hate. the never trump movement tied the hands of every sensible policy, whether it's fighting crime or illegal immigration, because such sensible actions reeked of trump. but that failed. and why? because you didn't waver and your bravery became as contagious as chlamydia after i toured the villages. zuckerberg feels it. so do a lot of people. the country went from wanting to deciding. we got trump in and now he's off to the races, redefining the pre-presidency. and it's all about reciprocity. i mean, what should you expect after spending your time defending trump, risking mockery, demonization, being called a racist or a nazi? well, here's the payoff. you had trump's back. now he has to have yours.

the only time biden had our backs is when he was trying to sniff our hair. so it's good to see zuck come around. it's good to see james carville realize he was an idiot for doubting his own beady eyes and elf like ears. it's nice to hear bill maher call out the people we were calling out for a long time. it's nice to see comics bravely go after biden now. after we paved that road. we're happy you joined us. but remember who got you here. it's those evil trumpers in red hats who led the way. unlike january 6th, this was a real insurrection. let's welcome tonight's guest. he's a cogent political force who got kicked in the face by a horse. fox news contributor charlie hurt. he's got down on his luck. he just looks that way. founder of studio xcom, michael loftus.

sees libertarian and pregnant, which means she craves small government and giant pickles. new york times bestselling author and fox news contributor kat duke. and he's tougher than the rock and smarter than spock, new york times bestselling author, comedian and former nwa world champion title. hey, charlie, i'm a bit torn. should we be happy and grateful that zuckerberg saw the light? or should we still hold disgust for him for basically helping to get biden elected? putting all that money in to getting that guy in instead of trump? what say you puffy haired master? >> total disgust. i mean, yeah, i mean, i think it's great and everything that he's coming or pretends to be coming around. but if you look back at the last eight years, everything he has done has been in some sort of response to donald trump.

you know, the reason they put the fact checkers in in the first place was in response to trump in response to trump running for reelection. he dumps five, $400 million in zuckerbucks get out the vote for democrats. and then, of course, trump wins again. and then he has to admit that all the fact checkers were never about fact checkers, right? the entire thing was about censorship and about trying to advance his political agenda. and like i said, i think it's great, but but it's almost to me it's almost worse if you got bullied into that position. a lot of americans die for the principles like free speech in our country. and this guy is going to, at best got bullied out of it. and then also the whole time he's giving this lecture, he pretends to care about poor people. he's wearing a $900,000 watch. >> incredible. >> and i and i don't begrudge anybody spending money however they want, but just don't freaking lecture me about how much better you are than the

rest of us. >> that's like, twice the cost of. mine. haha. how ostentatious is that? you know, michael, being a traveling hobo, i was curious how the home, the homeless. are they feeling the trump effect? has he made america's greats better? >> yes, he's made the greats great again. >> that's what he's done. >> zuckerberg's not off the hook. >> no. >> like, i can't just celebrate this. and people are like, oh, but now. >> now he's got dana white on the board. >> yeah, because he's a technical genius. >> and he'll know that the right. it's like you can't just have fact checkers and censorship and then the zuck bucks and influence elections, then go, oh, we're going to stop that. that was bad. we got we got dana white in here from the ufc. oh now what a what a sigh of relief that is. unless dana white is going to organize fights with the fact checkers, then i would watch. right. some

lady who posted there's only two genders. that's nice. i like that she gets to fight against some purple haired fact checker. i'd love it. i'd watch conor mcgregor take out some crazy chick. so? >> so instead of fights between illegals, we could have fights between nerds. >> yes. internet nerds. internet nerds. cage match. i'm watching. >> there you go. good cat. has zuck become trump's cuck? >> well, he looks very much like that guy in high school who tries to sell you weed on the school bus. and then if you actually take him up on it, you have to go over there, and then he makes you hang out with him and, like, listen to his self-produced raps and watch him play video games. just kind of like that. but i also, you know, i think it's interesting how many people are describing this as facebook going

pro-trump, because i don't really think that's fair. i think saying that you're not going to any longer oppress information that makes someone look or the other side of someone look bad, or the opposite of someone look bad is not the same as being pro that person. they're just not doing this for anyone. they're going to have the community notes feature, which is the people are going to weigh in, which i think is better. but yeah, it is cute. it's very cute that he seems to want to think perhaps anyone would believe this is for any other reason, other than the fact that trump is going to be the president. >> well, what if i, tyrus? what if i take, you know, his best intentions? could he have seen the light after the remember he said after the assassination assassination attempt that really like, rattled him? >> yeah. >> somebody comes into your house, gets you fired from your job, then he bulldozes your front yard, he turns your family against you. >> and then one day he says, hey, look, i'm not going to charge you rent next month. that's basically what he's doing. i think if anything, if there's lawyers in the house,

there should be some civil suits that have been proven by him saying his fact checkers literally got defensive. they didn't fact check what he was saying. they were like, no, no, no, they need us. which means it was people that they they hired. probably with the flow of the way things were in the last four years. de hires. so people who were specifically hired to snuff out conservative ideas and concepts, people lost jobs, people were ostracized. anyone who said anything about not wanting to get vaccine was basically a terrorist. so all those people that were affected, we always hear about mental anguish. we always hear about the bad things that people go through when they make fake accusations. here's a real time where someone was being harassed to the point of not being. you couldn't go to christmas dinner because of your facebook post, and his answer is my bad. we're going to get rid of the fact checkers. no, no, no, you need to take that watch and cut it up and send it to a lot of people's lives you've ruined and helped orchestrate and the election you helped influence.

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warren talking tattoos. it's so sexy. it's so sexy. i like it when she gets so mad. her little fist shakes, you know? and her little look at her little starter earrings. everything about that chick is alive, right? that's like the earring. that's. that's what you give a puerto rican baby when they turn, like. well, you know, what? does it have to be? >> puerto rican? >> i don't know, she might be puerto rican. she's got. she's like indian. her mama told her, oh, you're a choctaw or whatever. so i think, yeah, she is she is probably like that librarian. like that's her exterior. but she probably knows a lot about tattoos. yeah, i think she's got one of bernie sanders on the small of her back. you know, just him sitting there waiting, looking. so when you're behind her, you can look at bernie and, you know, you last longer. i think i've gone off the rails.

>> i'm not sure how ironic that that you ride the rails and now you're off them. and how ironic. your last name is loftus. and you don't live in one. that as a proud half veteran. your husband is a vet, of course, and thank me for thanking him. do you think pete's tattoos make him an insider threat? >> i'm just can this is this real? like, does she does she. you know what i mean. does she really think this? that's what i want to know. is she really sitting there at home looking at shirtless photos of pete hegseth and getting mad and scared? because. because it's so funny. if it's true, i like she looks at all the things. yeah, she's got like a folder. let me see another one. photos

of pete hegseth. >> no, she's holding it with one hand. >> all the problems of all the problems in the world, she's like, we got to do something about this. she pulls out the. and by the way, there are enough shirtless photos of pete hegseth on the internet for there to be a folder. yes, but i just i can't i can't imagine that would be. these are the people that are leaders. >> yeah. >> you're his jesus tattoo on his bicep that's disqualifying to you. that's the biggest problem that. i mean, at a certain point, you got to just be like, whatever, lady. yeah, you cannot be for real with this. you absolutely cannot. >> you know, it's interesting, tyrus, if it were any other kind of tattoo, something culturally significant for an affinity group like she would, she would, like, praise it if it were a rainbow flag or malcolm x, she would swoon. but it's jesus. and it's like, how dare he?

>> yeah, i think it's funny. he dances with wolves has a problem with secrets. she literally committed fraud to get her job. she pretended to be something that she's not, and apparently she failed latin class. yeah, because she didn't know what the word was, so she assumed it meant white supremacy. it's not long enough for white supremacy. that's the biggest thing. and again, if pete was going to keep secrets. >> yeah, he does a lousy job. >> i'm not a detective, but i don't think the first time you see him, the first thing he does is, hey, check it out. it's not a secret code. i know a few years back, this is what the left does. somebody, during a hearing look back at their assistant and their assistant went. next thing you know, that okay, sign was on every cnn and msnbc. it was a white supremacist sign. like this is what they do. unfortunately, cat, you are right. she sat at home because she knows she wasn't talking to her husband.

she couldn't even get him to drink a beer with her. that's true. he literally keeps his jacket on in the home, which means he's waiting for the first chance to go get cigarettes. yeah. so this is what they got? she is a horrible, horrible human being who stares at pete shirtless a lot. yeah. >> and it's one of those. >> it's just we always have one of those guys, like the guy at the strip club that none of the strippers look at, and he at the end of the night, he was like, i don't know, they were okay looking. they were all right. that's what she is. >> charlie. she is also guilty of cultural stolen valor. why should vets pay any attention to her? >> totally. i think that when we have these hearings for his confirmation that cat should come as a character witness. yes. and testify in front of pocahontas, that would be great. and preferably still pregnant if we could arrange that, because i think it would be. i think it would be illuminating for her. no, this

is. no, no, we have reached the he's too christian phase of the ridiculous things that they're going to throw at him. this is the full kavanaugh i think that the that probably the best thing that happened to him, you know, once the accusations started flying was this whole thing about the west point. yeah. about how he didn't really get accepted to west point. and it just so happened he kept the letter where they accepted him for appointment at west point. >> how do people keep that stuff? oh, you can't even find my i keep all the letters. >> i was accepted in college football. even the ones i didn't go. that's that's an important young man's life. >> i did too, because it's only one. >> yeah, i still have a coupon. >> oh, i had a folder. >> i still have a coupon from circuit city. folder of one. >> yeah, i've kept, but i've kept too much stuff. i don't know where any of it is now. we have too much stuff at my dad's house. my mom kept so much stuff. she was kind of a hoarder, and then she just died and left it there, which is kind of a power move, honestly. >> yes. you deal with this

stuff. >> someone else's problem, you can't throw it out. it's sacred. >> yeah. >> all right. up next, trump makes his case and puts reporters in their place. >> dry. i still feel gritty, rough or tired with my bow eyes can feel i bow, bow. my bow is the only prescription dry eye drop that forms a protective layer for the number one cause of dry eye. too much tear evaporation for relief. that's my bow. >> oh, yeah. >> remove contact lenses before using my bow. wait at least 30 minutes before putting them back in. i redness and blurred vision may occur. my bow. oh yeah. ask your eye doctor about prescription. my bow. >> i used to think we could see heaven from asada. but all i saw were the gates of hell. >> make those jews drink the blood of their children. >> we did not care what price we had to pay for our freedom. i want to be a warrior. >> there'll be no retreat from asada. >> we believed god was on the side of the innocent. >> god is on the side of the

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work for you. he's asked us to give away 1000 bottles. visit try relaxation.com or call 808 011737. it's coming your way. >> hey, hey, it's. video of the day. >> trump talks to the press about cleaning up joe's mess. our video of the day comes to us from the small island country mar a lago. we're back on tuesday. trump held another awesome presser. i wonder if he's planning to pardon those who were charged with violent offenses. >> are you planning to pardon those who were charged with violent offenses? >> well, we're looking at it, and we have other people in there. and as you see, i guess 24 or 28 people came now from the fbi that came out very quietly. nobody reported it, but they had people in some form related to the fbi. they had 4 or 5 people that were strongly related to the fbi. we have to find out about that.

>> yeah. and while we're at it, fbi, maybe. let's find out about those pesky pipe bombs, you reporters. my god. but i wonder if they asked him about the police officers injured by rioters on jan sixth. >> 40 police officers were injured by rioters on january 6th. will you pardon anyone who attacked a police officer? >> well, you know, the only one that was killed was a beautiful young lady named ashli babbitt. she was shot for no reason whatsoever. in fact, they say that she was trying to hold back the crowd. and the crowd was made up of a lot of different people. so we'll see. but i will tell you this. the person that was was killed was ashli babbitt. >> there you go. stupid reporter. but there's so many things going through my head right now, i can't say. edit edit edit edit edit edit edit. but my favorite part was how abruptly the whole thing ended.

we have a great country, but we have to run it properly, right? >> we have a great country, but we have to run it properly. it's going to be run properly. we want to get back those hostages for israel and for us. if this deal is not done with the people representing our nation, by the time i get to office, all hell is going to break out. thank you very much. thank you very much. >> basically, trump said more in one presser than biden did in four years of mumbling and stumbling. and he let the whole world know that hamas is an endangered species. hell, even their goats are saying, i think we should see other people. pat, is this going to be a great four years? he's back, i do, i miss these moments. >> yeah. and you know, a lot of people. so obviously he does say stuff in this these that it's like kind of crazy right. i mean i don't want to invade

greenland, for example, but people have gone so far with latching on. i also don't think we're going to. right. so people are so exhausted with the news cycle of he says a thing. let's bring experts on to talk about how this thing means that the world's going to end, people. nobody wants to do that anymore. and then also when you compare it to the guy that we have in there now, who, by the way, is still in there now, he didn't do the pressers. so trump's doing pressers. and then also when you're watching it, you're at least not worried that during it he might die. yeah. which is a refreshing feeling. that's where we are america. but it's true. like you'd be you'd be watching biden and you're like ha. like it's like it's like a very it's very it's a very nervous watch where you're like, okay. when he goes, you're like, is he coming back? yeah. >> it's like if you're watching trump, you worry will will he

die by an assassin's bullet? and with joe, it's like, will he die from natural causes? >> or walking down the steps? >> yes, tyrus, i love the fact that he corrected the reporter on jan six. there weren't officers killed at january 6th. ashli babbitt was killed by a dude that the media covered for. i cannot wait for her court case. >> yeah, well, i think it's important that you got to understand the media is rusty. they're not used to asking questions, at least not ones they've submitted in crayon. so it's. but it's not just biden. it's because he could point to anyone in his administration. he did it with a negotiator the other day. he's like you, i know you're tired. you just got back from the middle east. come on up here and let us know how it's going. and guess what? that guy was able to tell us how it was going, which was amazing, because if president biden can't say it, then kamala's got to say it. and i know he has dementia, but i don't know what the she has because is there is there a bug

going around the white house? did everyone get a hit of the bad cocaine? like what happened? because we can't. and then no matter what expert this current administration has, they come up and say, and we're like, what? and we need panels to translate. we need bret baier and rocket scientist and jesus to come down and explain to us what the hell is happening. now. we can just simply watch the person on the podium. they're going to explain what's going on. we're like, oh, that makes sense. and then we don't need to switch to go to a panel of 47 people to break it down. so that's the niceness is going to be because here's the deal. the first person on trump's administration that up a speech. we won't see them again. what is your reaction to what's going on. don't there'll be a commercial break and it'll be a new person in there and be like, yo, charlie, it's funny when you watch trump and the

press, it's such a mismatch. >> it's like they don't deserve him. they don't get him, they don't understand him. it's like it's almost like he came down from another planet and they don't even know what to make of it. we get it. we understand it. some of us it took longer than it for others. but i find it so interesting that they still don't know how to deal with them. >> and i think that that's probably a big part of why they've failed. they've lost so much credibility, is because you do. he gives a speech, they go to the panel of 47 people, and then they completely make up a bunch of stuff that he didn't just say. and anybody who watched is like, they're making this all up. i understood what the guy said and it was nothing like that. that was a masterclass. watching that, that press conference. and it was i mean, it was a wonderful reminder, but also it made me stop and think about, you know, we kind of sort of overlooked this. but joe biden, when he came into office, had to follow that. it kind of made me feel sorry for him. and but the guy here, i mean, he's been here now on the

national stage for eight years. the guy never runs out of material. he comes up with new stuff every time he walks out there. you know, we've heard all the stuff about the and he does everything in like an oral history, like some epic like the odyssey. and he like, talks about the evil snake and the immigration. and then he's talking about the smelt and the water, and then he just starts talking about the gulf of mexico and greenland and canada. and it's like this guy, he there's a it's like a bottomless i don't know where he gets it all from. >> he has a brain. and it's amazing because the last guy had an echo in his head. yeah, yeah. >> yo, when you when you think about like, you got these, you got three presidential terms, you got trump, biden, trump, mike. it's kind of like the super bowl with the worst halftime ever. >> yes. yeah. super bowl super bowl with the worst halftime ever. if it married the price

is right and the showcase showdown. yeah. right. because that's what trump's giving us right now. like we all put in the bid in okay. we want a wall. we want a military. we want this. and trump's like but wait there's more. how much would you pay for the gulf of america. and i'm like i'm in. but wait, there's more canada, greenland 51st 52nd state, which is totally doable in canada. come on, we're going to treat you nice. we're going to be good. we just have to call canada something other than a state. right? come up with some latin name like primo territorio and they'll be into it. >> you know that i have a new name for the. it's the panama spelled exactly the same. i just moved one of the letters. all right. got to move on. coming up, democrat twerps vote to keep foreign perps. >> if you have heart failure or

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for you. >> it's video of the day, part two. >> progressives cause a stink over throwing illegals in the clink. our second video of the day comes to us from congresswoman pramila jayapal of washington state. and one look at that face who wish it was audio of the day. she was one of 159 dems to vote against the lincoln riley act. the bill was named after the young nursing student murdered by an illegal immigrant who had previously been arrested but never detained by ice. the lincoln riley act would change federal law to require ice to issue detainers for illegals who commit theft or burglary. here's pramila explaining why she's against it. >> imagine your child is with a group of kids grabbing an after school snack at a 7-eleven, and one of them chooses to just

snitch a little candy bar off the shelf. the shop owner calls the police, and all the kids are arrested for shoplifting. if your child is a daca recipient, someone who has lived here nearly their entire life, they are now subject to mandatory detention under this bill. >> great work there. the act is named after a young american woman murdered by an illegal. and you're talking about stealing a snickers. but these are the people who also compare trespassing at the capitol to nine over 11. maybe it's me, but it seems these people are really bad at assessing crime, which makes them really good at putting our lives at risk and getting people to vote republican. you know, tyrus, dems always do this when you offer a practical solution. they come at you with the rarest of exceptions. what if it's a little boy and he's sick and he's missing his legs and he needs a candy bar?

>> what if it's that? >> that's when you got to be a republican and say his legless goes to jail. yeah, i'm sorry. >> i'm. >> but forget all that. what's up with the shameless plug of 7-eleven? like you got an endorsement deal with 7-eleven? what's going on? like just no one else picked up on that. well, it can't be an am pm skoch circle k. this is this is what. this is what they do. and again, somebody doesn't matter what the story is. he stole a piece of candy. he stole a candy bar. i don't know under this current inflation a candy bar is around seven bucks. so it's not like i don't know what little teensy piece of candy she shops at. but prices are outrageous. you break the law, you enforce the law. that's what. and guess what? ice might send him back home, you know? or maybe his parents were teaching him to steal because they were part of a sex trafficking kid organization,

and him getting arrested just cracked the case. great work guys. high fives all around. >> it is hilarious when we think of, like, 7-eleven or anything getting ripped off. it's these mass thefts. but she has to pick the one thing that, like, will play upon your compassion. he just wanted a candy bar. forget about the lincoln riley act. it's about a candy bar. >> and she said he snitched a candy bar. snitched? yeah. i don't know what that means. snitched? does she mean filched? i don't know, i don't know what is. >> it snitched. yeah. >> no. you're thinking of feltz. >> oh, there you go. okay. stop right now. >> filch is a word, and snitch is a word. charlie. >> charlie, don't don't don't go in the water. that's as deep as i can get. two little sharks circling you right now. >> it's going to pass, though, right? senate. it's going to pass. >> oh yeah yeah. oh yeah. because it's common sense which is the area these people don't exist in. the key word you just said was practical. yeah. you

come up with a practical solution or a practical problem that needs to be solved. people who are so completely drowning in ideology can't ever, like, figure that out. >> yeah. you know a better example? she should have used something that you would like, you know, should an illegal immigrant be thrown in jail for stealing the cardboard box that you live in? yes, yes. >> and deported? >> yes. >> i worked hard for that box. i got it just right. i'm tired of having this argument, but this is what they should do. like a press class for everyone on the right. like in congress and in the senate. so when someone comes up with one of these hypothetical story time situations, someone else can be recognized and continue the story. yeah. you know, but what if that same little boy who was caught by ice had an invention? yes. he had the cure for cancer. yes. and only on the bus ride to guadalupe's house could he find the ingredients. and what a strange twist of

fate that this young man who filch felt snitch, snatched a snickers bar should find the cure for cancer. >> if you were in a debate, cat, and you were debating something, let's say you were debating audits, audits or, you know, tax reduction, and they come up with that. the little story time thing that affects nobody. >> well, actually, i love the way this john fetterman handled this. he said, i'm for protection for dreamers and i'm for this. yeah. so it's like you forget that people are actually capable of having a nuanced, independent thought where it's like, okay, yeah, maybe i don't want candy. i want candy bar kid who doesn't like pipe. i'm with hypothetical candy bar kid. sure, but that doesn't change all this other stuff that we're also saying, which it's crazy how rare and special it is to see something like that, but i really appreciated that from him. yes. >> so why take a chance without

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>> you need the poo, detective. >> popular segment tonight on poo, detective. nearly half of americans admit to carrying an extra pair of underwear in case of emergency. and that's for both men and women. of course, some americans still insist on wearing no underwear at all. charlie, isn't it spare underwear? kind of like a gun, you know. you may not need it, but if you need it, you're so glad you have it. >> you definitely want a concealed carry with your with your backup underwear. but i would like to. i would like to get the. i actually did not read the story. so i'm learning something i would like to i would like to know the breakdown of men versus women, because i don't know any men who who bring spare underwear. oh, well then you don't know me. >> that's the thing, kat. it's an unspeakable truth. many people suffer in silence with

fecal incontinence. this segment is sponsored by. depends. by the way, are you surprised by this number? >> no. so i don't suffer from fecal incontinence. not to brag, but i don't carry extra underwear. but i can't be the only person who. whenever i go on vacation, i bring every pair of underwear that i own. yes. am i the only one who does that? oh, i do like everybody does that. i don't know what i think is going to happen because i own a lot of underwear. also, not to brag, but i'll have like a whole suitcase of it because again, i don't know what i think is going to happen, but if it ever does, i'll be ready. >> there you go. the great thing about you, tyrus, is you don't say has got to be like, what the is wrong with you? you know, the great thing about you, tyrus, is you don't need to bring a spare, because if you need one, you just go to a house that's currently under extermination. yes. and you just pull the thing right off. >> yeah. >> boy, i missed you. this

whole thing is. this is for cheaters. oh, they changed the underwear they were screwing around with, so they won't get caught by their old lady when they get home. so i heard. >> there you go. he always pierced the miasma with truth. you know, michael, it's tough for you because you only have one pair. i know you have to wring it out. you have to wring it out in the in the in the home that you're staying sink. >> yeah. or like a hose. yes, but it is. it's clown underwear. so if the paramedics ever have to cut my pants off. you hear that? dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit. boom goes the weasel. >> we'll stop there. don't go away. we'll be right back. >> the first time you try bounce, it hits you. your laundry feels way fresher, softer. so you start to wonder if i put a sheet of bounce on the finance guy. will it make him softer? >> bounce. can't do it all. >> but for better laundry, put a sheet on it with bounce, a

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