we will be live from the swamp, the sewer d.c. this sunday next monday 9:00 p.m. eastern for special coverage donald trump's historic inauguration. we hope you will join us. on tuesday we will be live on capitol hill for a town hall with a speaker make johnson and g.o.p. lawmakers as they prepare to implement donald trump's agenda. that is all happening next week and more. that is all the time we have left this evening thank you for being with us and making that show possible. please set your dvr so you never miss an episode of "hannity". news any time, all the time, any time foxnews.com hannity.com. in the meantime let not your heart be troubled greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great weekend. ♪ ♪ [applause]

>> greg: yes! yes! i know. i know. i know! i know. i know! i know. i do smell great. its friday so you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guests. he helped pay for college modeling for jcpenney fox news contributor tom schillue! nothing can slow him down except magnets. fox news contributor johnny joey jones! he gives liberals grief and provides a disaster relief a chef owner andrew gruel! she is very outspoken and mostly housebroken, "new york times"

best-selling author fox news contributor kat timpf! before we get to some news stories let's do this. ♪ ♪ >> at greg's leftovers. >> greg: it is a leftovers were i read the jokes we did not use this week. is always it is my first time to read them so if they suck we will force joe machi to clean joe biden's toilet bowl with his toothbrush, his toothbrush! this week portraits were revealed for donald trump and j.d. vance. j.d. vance as you can see is porting the beard. that is the first appeared to be in the white house since michele. secretary of treasury has admitted that she smoked weed. you know who else admitted to smoking weed? her barber. she is still adorable.

japan is telling the world's first toilet paper made from used diapers. i wish i thought of that, said one woman. a new study reveals which countries have the largest breast sizes as well as which country has the biggest asses. but in last place with an average of letter a cups was greenland. however, that are took country still leads the world and hardest nipples. trump's proposed creating an external revenue service to collect money owed to us by foreign countries. if they do not pay we send chris christie to sit on them. that is how you break some legs. california's kyle gordy, the world's most prolific sperm donor, is on track to --

tractor father 100 children by the end of the year. needless to say kyle is easily identifiable. [laughter] don lemon went on profanity-laced rant about the morning joe host being too civil to trump prompting his passenger to give him a lousy overrating. -- uber rating. some people are self deporting ahead of trump's return to the house. it is true. [applause] seriously, was warren's already going back to the navajo nation on horseback. in an interview with "the washington post" dr. jill biden laments nancy pelosi's betrayal saying they were friends for 50 years. she thinks nancy is two-faced

which is an insult to her other six phases. alaska airlines flight attendant was fired for twerking on camera in her defense she said the pilot had just eliminated the shake that ass sign. and only fans sex worker claims that she screwed thousands of men and 21 hours. she is thinking of changing her name to dei. that is good. you thought it was going to go one way, right? this is filthy. no. it became politically relevant before your eyes. and for the heroic efforts during the wildfires a porn star is offering free services to l.a. firefighters. [applause] patriotic men over there.

they are already saluting. in a related story guess who was just caught impersonating an l.a. firefighter? [applause] those were fun. this week president-elect trump announced that on his first the in office he plans to create a new government agency called the external revenue service. it is a pretty clever name if you ask me. i can imagine how it came about. there was a meeting and some guy says what about the internal revenue service? they suck. and then some other guy goes you are right they do suck why can't we have an external revenue service? and then trump's eyes light up. and she says i love it. we will announce it tomorrow. what is it asks one guy? trump says who the [bleep] cares you are fired.

because he is right. he knows it is perfect. the omission is right in the title. here is what trump said quote, for far too long we have relied on taxing are great people using the irs. through soft and pathetically weak trade agreements the american economy has delivered growth and prosperity to the world while taxing ourselves. we will begin charging those that make money off of us with trade and they will start paying finally their fair share. [applause] in other words, just like americans fear the consequences of not paying their taxes at home foreign countries we do business with one aisle feel that same fear. our companies have said jobs overseas only to import products here at no cost. we have been getting screwed on both ends like a double-headed bolt. joe knows what i'm talking about. even more all of these countries have a huge gdp.

it is as if there are billionaires who won't pay their fair share. in essence trump's creating leverage in negotiations were leverage never existed before. think of it this way a lot of countries don't put anything into their own military because they know they can count on ours. they are like the weak twerps who hang out with the high school bully acting cocky but never having to throw a punch. tom schillue gets that. other countries think of us like a free insurance policy against invasion. now trump wants to turn our military into a private security force. an insurance plan with guns and a co-pay. kind of makes sense for countries with no military. or think of nato they have generous social programs because they don't have to spend as much on the military thinks to us. it is about putting america first and it began with greenland. we are happy to represent you guys but we got something in return. by creating the ers trump puts

his thought, this thought, which never occurred to you, into your mind whether you like it or not. and what if it makes sense? first from past to reveal the consequences of countries lose american protection. until now we have been offering protection through our military and access to our markets while asking for nothing in return. now that will change. that is what trump's military strategy and the ers is. only trump could come up with this. it is what he learned as a contractor in new york city. trump ran into sorell -- so many don corleone's that he became one of them. as scott adams points out trump absorbed their techniques of persuasion. your country looks pretty good right now. it would be a shame if something were to happen to it. so america is going to be don corleone. i just hope country doesn't wake up with with the horses head and it's dead. then "the view" will will have to replace joy behar to.

>> hear he is. [applause] tom, you know what is great about this idea? nobody ever bothered to bring these things up. trump has this thing where it is like what if? what if? he does not care if it comes off as stupid because often that is where you lead to great ideas. >> as i was looking at the story i always wonder what is it about the people who hate trumps so much, the people who are super anti-trump that is like the republican establishment and the political consultant class. and i think the reason is that. because it comes up with ideas that are totally off the map and the width of these political consultants made a living was telling politicians you shut up and do what i say because we have done the polling and we know how this town works. we know the lobbyist and we know who has the money and everything else. trump comes up with an idea and

that messes with their plan. they are like here is what you have to say and he is like i'm going to say my own thing i don't care what you have to say i will tweet it. they are like how do you know if it will work? he says i will know tomorrow morning when i look at my twitter feed. so thinking of the countries as billionaires. anytime you can use the left's rhetoric against them and so he should not go after the poor countries he should say why is monaco getting away? monaco the are wearing those nice clothes driving those nice cars that need to pay their fair share. >> greg: when he redefined them as billionaires it makes total sense. joey, there was also something he does and a lot of the situations he takes the political world which is phony and then checks the real world into it. because you could not get away with the countries what they are doing in the real world and your relationships with other people like a contractor or a mafia.

>> that is how regular americans have identified with the billionaire from new york for the entire time. he speaks like we do in the system he says what we think. that's and you have the external revenue service. he says he will offset it basically what he says as he will raise it so much money with that he will get rid of income taxes. i don't know what the numbers to work out. >> greg: that is how to refuse to be. >> this is what i will tell you. i look at trump the things he has done in his life, similar to mine, i work in politics, he is president. i run the bench at fox news he had a hit television show for 10 years. he graced, he turned his head and missed the bullet, i stepped right when i should have stepped left. he is leading the way i just need to follow but the one place i want to catch up to him is to get rid of income tax. i can file my taxes and say i am making money this year like he has done a? that is where i want to be. >> greg: to think as i am not an expert in this put is that not what tariffs originally

were? not to pay income tax? it was that the country you've got enough from tariffs so that the country did not have to. he is not positioning that way he is turning it into something else. andrew, first off i want to congratulate you outstanding charity work for the wildfires. [applause] i don't know if you are aware i think it was commendable that you saved julia roberts shoe collection. >> yes. >> greg: but you have been delivering food to everybody, founding housing, letting people sleep at your restaurant, truly like an american type of charity. not a bunch of platitudes it was action so i commend you. >> i appreciate that it was actually everybody else who jumped in and helped. the whole community spirit and the person sleeping at the restaurant was me. >> greg: you know i thought about helping. anyway. >> i want to dovetail off of what tom said and what joe said because i want to agree with

both of them. one i love the way that trump managers and his policy is crowdsourcing. you will tweet it out see what the media's reaction of the people's reaction and that he will take credit for what is best or go with what the media says. that is brilliant he will be doing that for the next four years. that is unbelievable i want to see the equal and opposite outside with regards to income tax. i did not see too much about that that was why i was lukewarm off the bat when i saw this headline. we should not have any income tax altogether or tax altogether. these politicians love spending. speaking of the l.a. wildfires they said there were these looters going and stealing stuff and a lot of the l.a. politicians they were evacuated but none of their houses got looted because the looters said it was a professional courtesy. >> greg: they did not want to steal from them either. >> he has to cut taxes so it is not zero across-the-board i'm all for it. you can let him know i am good with this. >> greg: i will get him on the phone. you know he will call. kat, i get the impression that for all of the fears of trump

getting into power the world is enjoying this. this isn't like bewitched where they replaced one darren with another darren. it is like they replaced mr. roper with godzilla. >> i don't know who any of those people are. >> greg: i know. i purposely use references. >> can you do it again with people from vendor pump rules? >> greg: i look at you like a tina mom. >> i am 36. that is a compliment. >> greg: that is a compliment. >> thank you. i think. that is a compliment, america. >> greg: i'm saying she looks too young to be pregnant. >> good day from georgia. >> thank you. >> greg: you are saying i don't complement you enough and then i compliment you in front of 20 million people. >> 20 million. listen, i'm in a tough spot right now because i don't

understand the external revenue service i don't understand how it works because the tariffs are paid by the importer not the foreign government. but i also know i work on cable news so your job is not to understand your job is to have a strong opinion regardless. it is so cute how many of you think i am joking. so i don't really understand what it means. but the spirit as everybody has said it is so true that we pay so much an income tax and a lot of it does go to other countries. and other countries that have a lot more time off than we do and we find so many of their things so i think that spirit for sure is something that resonates with a lot of people. at least with people who pay enough attention to know that which i think is most. and now i get the applause. >> greg: kat strong opinion is that trump once again. right, kat?

>> that is how the headline would read it. that is how it works. nuanced opinion gets boiled down to four words. >> greg: i'm really good at that. usually it is five words. coming up trump wants to do good for sunday hollywood. total beets, america's best-selling beets brand, is available at walmart. total beets blood pressure support soft chews contain a key ingredient clinically shown to deliver two times better blood pressure support. take control of your health. head to walmart and get total beets blood pressure support soft chews today. force factor better turmeric promotes joint health

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>> a story in five words. >> greg: five words trump to take back hollywood to. joey, get this trump has named sylvester stallone, mel gibson, and jon voight as special ambassadors to hollywood. you have rambo, "braveheart", and the guy who was molested in the woods and deliverance. he says he wants to make

hollywood bigger and better than before. arnold schwarzenegger, the terminator? >> this is funny trump has a buddy i need to take care of let me make something up to give him a little nod. i waiting to see what antonio brown gets because if you see him on social media he has some funny comments. i'm looking at this kind of looks like the 1986 oscars. they are old they are not young people i don't know who they will reach out to. the way i look at it he probably had a really long list and had to narrow it down to who is not on the diddy or epstein list. and those were the three left so that is what they get to do. >> greg: andrew, i think what would make this amazing, if they were the ambassadors but they had to stay in character. stallone would have to be rambo, mel gibson, what was his character and lethal weapon? do you remember? forget it. rigs. he was rigs. and midnight cowboy.

>> that would be excellent. this would be another nod another trump think user generated. it is funny and by that i mean he is getting all the people who use the truth social to kind of engage back with him and then the media jumps on. the funniest thing about this article was that the guys who were named as part of this little ambassadorship this group were like we don't even know about this. they started saying i just read it as well. which i think it's hilarious. this goes to show he is first a kid in a candy shop. i talked to my son what would you do if you were president? everybody whatever free chocolate bar for everybody no school all the cliche parts from some say gangs and that is what trump is doing over the next four or five days. i'm excited to see what is next. and adam carolla should have been on that list. [applause] >> greg: i was troubled by the list, kat, because there was no nonbinary woman of color. >> was there ever a list of?

i feel like he probably just thought of it and posted it. because mel gibson said that is how he found delta. >> greg: on social yes. >> when it was posted. he was like okay. i think there is i mean a lot of a lot of the problems and hollywood have a lot to do with the problems of california are cheaper to do things in other places easier to do things in other places then california. also will movies be around in 20 years? they are too long. i was scrolling through instagram reels and i was like . i'm not watching that [bleep]. you want to minutes of my next? so a movie? >> greg: how many times do you stop a movie when you are watching it at home? >> the last movie i think i haven't watched a movie and leg seven months honestly. it has to be it is like you watch and rewind and watch and rewind the commitments you are asking of me there is more than i'm comfortable with. maybe when i'm a little older. [laughter]

>> when you are old enough to have a baby? >> yes. >> greg: tom, what do you think they can do? do you think they can do anything? >> i actually do. i think that if these guys put together a little company and they make appointments they would get meetings with everybody in hollywood because hollywood is looking for an intervention. they have been drunk and high on dei and wokeness stuff for so long they wanted to stop. so it is like a drug addict who is like just give me an out. that is why look at all of the streaming shows. everything takes place in another era. for a period pieces. why do they love period pieces because people could speak and politically incorrect ways. they can't do that and a modern thing. or it is set and weird sci-fi alternate universe. there is two reasons for that one because everybody is on their phone. when you don't have phones you can have drama. also you can have realism. nobody can be real anymore.

so in the 50s people can act real and be sexist and insensitive to each other and everybody else that people like to be. and movies i do like watching movies i don't like modern films. i have a subscription to the criteria on channel i just watch old movies and french films and italian cinema. i can sit there all day and watch a movie after movie. i don't think it is a time issue it is a content issue. >> greg: do you have a little espresso? what was it do you watch the red balloon at? >> all the time. all the time, greg. >> greg: the one thing that occurred to me it also points out how pointless ambassadors actually are. you know what i mean it? like it is a reward. the ambassadorship its a reward or perhaps to get your son's ex-girlfriend out of the white house but we will talk about that later. anyway. >> what do you mean, greg? i have no idea what i'm talking about.

>> greg: where am i? up next what a delight when acosta moves to midnight. has been by your side. ontario, canada, a partner connected by shared history, shared values, and a shared vision for what we can achieve together. stable and secure, when the world around us isn't. you can rely on ontario for energy to power your growing economy and for the critical minerals crucial to new technologies. ontario is your third-largest trading partner and the number one export destination for 17 states. our long-standing economic partnership keeps millions of americans working. in a changing world, it's time to bring jobs back home and build together. more workers, more trade, more prosperity, more security. for generations, this ally to the north has been here. and for generations more, we'll still be here.

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continuous symptom control. ask your neurologist about starting ultomiris. (♪) ♪ ♪ it is coming your way it is a video of the day ♪ ♪ >> greg: thank you. cnn biggest dork is stuck with a fork. are video of the day comes from ratings a vacuum cnn where bloated buffoon jim acosta delivered a vomit inducing defense of the media you have to check this out. >> i wanted take a moment to talk about something president biden said during his farewell address. he warned the free press is crumbling in this country. i would add that is only if we the people that that happen. journalist exist to seek the truth, to tell people stories, to lift the voices that may not be heard otherwise.

to shine a light on a justice and to hold the powerful accountable. we are not the enemy of the people, we are the defenders of the people. i want to take a moment to show you something a woman sent me to sign eight years ago. she carried it here at a march in washington. she wrote on the back of the sign to me and the press here in d.c. you have our support. wherever you are, right back catch up. >> greg: we know where she is. acosta held onto that sign for eight years. she just i throw else my body building trophies after five. by some art. meanwhile cnn is reportedly considering banishing jim's morning show to midnight. the midnight slot at cnn? that is like a weekday afternoon spot at a strip club. at leeds -- at least it is a

strip club you won't just see an ass. i think the story as he held onto that for eight years, andrew. >> how bizarre is that? this guy collects signs like my old aunt held onto tupperware. i want to see what his garage looks like that must be creepy. signs and notes pen pals all over the place. the thing is moving this guy spot on the cnn time frame it does not matter there was only three viewers at all times whether it is 12 in the afternoon or 7:00 p.m. that night. this is strategic as bedtime or when he wakes up that is all it is. like okay fine you will be first class on frontier great you get armrests. it does not matter. i think that this idea we have seen this now with all of the other news networks you demote somebody by putting them in a really bad time frame. but i want to see government act the same way. for example right now i would love to see governor gavin newsom has done such a horrible job with wildfires and overall management management of california if steadily they make him the mayor

of... >> greg: we can clap at that. >> and then karen bass, right? she is now suddenly the head of education and at some random podunk town and california. can we see that happen with politicians as well? >> greg: that would be nice. a demotion actually get them to do their job. he tried to deliver this rousing message and he can't do it. it is like he looks like a news man but he speaks like a i can't say retard anymore. >> do it in an old film. >> greg: i shouldn't. kat? >> it is interesting how he was so far up his own ass i don't think he realized how he was contradicting his old argument. he was like there is no free press anymore which reminds me of how i said that eight years ago. the sign that i have from eight

years ago. and you are still on the air. right? so it seems like you were pretty free to do press to me. and people don't understand i mean the free press the freedom of the government is stopping you from speaking out against the government which you are doing. you are doing eight years ago. you have assigned to prove you have been worried about this for eight years and yet things have remained okay and you are still a one the most recognizable figures and media despite all of that. it is like get a new bit already. >> greg: it is kind of sad. tom, shouldn't he embrace the midnight hour? i mean i learned on a redeye you can do anything you want because nobody is watching. >> you know what is interesting. one of the media analysts i think at the time is one of the stories we were reading today about this they said they thought maybe cnn would take him off the air as throwing a bone to trump. i was like if you want to throw up to trump leave him on the

air. it is not a bone it is like a carcass. you know. because trump loves that. he would love to pick over his carcass for the next four years. but his self-importance is quite an amazing. i don't know if i agree with you. i think there is not a whole garage full of signs. i think that is the one assignment. >> greg: it is not his garage she has it above his bed. >> on the ceiling. >> greg: nora. nora! >> right back at you. [laughter] >> greg: joey, i feel so dirty. you know andrew brought up the entire media landscape is like it has become completely exposed. and it seems like even cnn is like they are not even bothering

to hide their disdain for their own talent. it seems like it is all falling apart. >> don't you kind of think they are trying to get him to quit? look for something else? this is what i'm thinking, right? they need to take into a live feet of your studio nobody in just the lights on and a camera and run that up against them at midnight. i don't know who was in charge at this building but run a live feet of the studio with the cardboard cut out of you in the chair and then you can be the king of late night and the king of midnight. because the ratings will be. >> greg: that is a very expensive prank. i would tell you right now. you remind me of office space. wasn't it office space where they kept moving the guys desk? he is a fat guy and office space keep moving him and moving can. >> maybe they do like a yule log like the erindale yule log. it will get way more ratings. >> greg: that was anderson cooper's nickname in high school.

you know what is interesting about that joke? i don't even know what it means. >> yet we all know what it means. >> greg: we all know what it means. coming up, the federal bureau of investigation bands woke up location. -- woke-ification. slow or uncod body movements, restlessness

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> five more words. >> greg: fbi says bye-bye dei. kat, if i may call you that. a month after trump won the fbi quietly shut down its diversity, equity, and inclusion office and now trump is demanding the office preserve and keep all of its records in order to fight corruption. what say you? >> you should keep all of the records. that is like the only good reason to be the president because you are allowed access to all of the tea.

there is no you cannot have whether it is about that, aliens, anything. i completely understand that but it is funny they did it quietly. like y at this point? it is not very popular but also many things should be a meritocracy i think everything should be a meritocracy but definitely the fbi should be a meritocracy. i don't think it should be a controversial opinion but apparently it is so controversial the need to keep that quiet. >> greg: we don't want anybody to know. >> shouldn't you be better at keeping things quiet if you are the fbi? >> greg: a good point. if i know about it. >> i feel like i shouldn't know... >> greg: and i do know research, tom, so i found out about it. tom, do you think that what they are going to do first of all, you are a white man, some people say you are to white. >> friends i have said it myself. >> greg: do you feel that dei has been harmful to your career?

did you lose jobs? >> absolutely. >> greg: really. >> in the beginning back in the 90s that was my heyday. >> greg: you wear that washed up? >> yes, i mean that is so true. then the dei you can't even have the white guy around anymore. you know who really made out in this whole dei thing? multiracial kids. if there is a white guy he has to be very to a black woman and then you have to find the interracial kids. so they have been working like crazy. i remember when i first this has been affecting me even i'm talking about late 90s i remember auditioning for a multicultural sketch comedy show. the addition we had to give our first-hand experience with prejudice that we have experienced. they went around with the camera and everybody had a story the woman was like the glass ceiling on the black i was like they follow me in the store and think i'm going to steal things and the asian guy was like i'm not that good at math. [laughter] everybody had a story. and then the camera got to me

and i was like a so far no problems! [applause] >> greg: do you think of, joey, they are really getting rid of it? or will they found out among different departments? if you get rid of it all of those people will sue. >> i think trump is playing it all wrong. you have to be like let's after action this to see where it did not work rated we go wrong? make them kind of expose themselves. like why are you shutting down your dei? why is that? is it because you have agents go and to make an idiot of themselves? like what is it here that is happening? and just do it like an after action, do it internally keep it quiet and then just blast everybody with it. >> greg: they can get away with it that easy as what you were saying. >> yes, you can trick them to tell on themselves. >> greg: you know, andrew, again, one of the things that changes before trump gets into office. the trump effect happens before

even trump is there. it is kind of crazy. >> i love the trump effect that is happening all over the place. the thing that i have two contributions to this number 1 to your story that i have been affected by dei. i am not allowed to cook anything but microwave steak and chicken otherwise it is cultural appropriation. right? i have been told that many times. i actually had to send my 23andme or whatever the dna stuff showing glory and is part mexican parts managed in order to cook tacos. there is a whole war. the fact that the fbi has come out and said we are shutting this down has led me to believe there is something much bigger there. i don't trust this at all. there is something huge there and now they want all of the cockroaches to scurry into everything else. now it is distilled into the rest of the fbi. i imagine a speech the gay. >> jeff: okay guys this is likely train for he is here go to do what you were trained to

do. and they are in the wood. >> greg: that is a great idea for a tv show. and undercover dei squad to. we have been banned from the trump government now we have to go underground. we have to go south. at that called underground to dei. >> that is my show, greg. how about this? it is for guys and they sing barbershop. >> greg: yes. you know when they can do? they can get all of these dei hires and put a white guy in charge of. no, we did that with joe biden. >> wow. [applause] >> greg: i took your heart out and you're still alive! your mail is up next.it [applause]er a choice one versus the other. sensodyne clinical white

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>> you are watching mailing it in. >> greg: first question from gd nash whatever that is. he, she whatever asked if you could be a secret agent what kind of assignment would you want to? i have one. tom? >> who is to say i'm not a

secret agent? maybe this is my assignment. >> greg: that is interesting. because in the early days of the cia they liked actors and actresses. people to the performing arts because they traveled. there were always i'm going to do a show something like that. did you know that? do you remember wants her name the chef? >> i do remember wants her name the chef? i do remember wants her name. >> greg: once her name? julia child's. >> unbelievable i did not know that. >> greg: julia child's was either cia or the british version m1 or whatever they call it. >> i wanted to be in the cone of silence. >> greg: i always wanted a shoe that was a phone. no use for you, joey. but anyway. ladies and gentlemen! >> actually, greg, it would work really well. just saying. [applause]

>> greg: every crass joke ends with a lovely little heartwarming tale. >> that is it. >> greg: how about you? >> i read this and i thought about the gong show. then you start talking about celebrities the story behind the gong show. >> greg: chuck harris. i don't think that was real. >> that is where i want to be i want to be imagining it. just my own reality sniping russians i think i am important. >> greg: wouldn't you want to be a secret agent in liberal academia? >> maybe track and field. the olympics. the real one. like the regular ones. not the other ones. >> greg: andrew? >> obviously i would be the killer chef. but not a killer chef like steven sagal because i'm more like a barrel chested freak and not a fighter. i would because there with my recipes, right? you would love it and it would be the best about you ever took and then he would be dead. >> greg: yes.

>> i do not think i did good marketing for my customers there. >> greg: that is what i would do if i were israel releasing the prisoners. i would give them a nice last meal but there would be slow acting poison. and they go like taco bell. a bad rap. >> you can give them a pager. >> greg: what about you, kat? >> i don't know somewhere warm. >> greg: somewhere warm? >> i would do anything. >> greg: university of hawaii. >> sure. >> greg: i would go undercover at "the view". [applause] that would be amazing. all right, this person asked what is the best thing you could do for your body? do you work out like a demon, joey? >> the best thing for my body is to stay away from ieds and bombs that goes a long way. on top of that i don't during or smoke. >> greg: good for you.

andrew? >> beef tallow. anything beef related. eat a lot of meet. >> greg: carnival diet i assume is your diet. >> rub it on your body all of that. >> greg: do you get a lot of food stuck in your beer to? >> i have a double-decker in there right now. >> i don't do anything for my body anymore or it would not look like this. it is all for somebody else living and it i am just an incubator for another person at this point. i would not be this fat if i was doing anything from my own body but i have to eat so the kid is not an idiot's. [applause] >> greg: i think you answered the question. tom? you are. you do a lot of weird [bleep]. >> but i don't know if any of it works but i am easily convinced. i eat cod liver oil, i put clarified butter and my coffee. i am melting clarified butter and drinking it and thinking i don't know why i'm doing this but somebody told me to do it so

i started doing it. >> greg: what is your breathing thing? >> i do deep breathing. i take 30 deep breaths and they hold my breath as long as i can. i'm not a world-class. >> my 5-year-old does that. [applause] >> greg: i do that but only 1 kilometers in the elevator. don't go away we will be right back. we design and test our own tools and sell them directly to you. no middleman. just quality tools you can trust at prices you'll love. ♪ rinse it out ♪ ♪ every now and then ♪ ♪ i get a little bit tired of the stinks ♪ ♪ that just will never come out ♪ ♪ pour downy in the rinse, jade ♪ ♪ every now and then i rinse it out! ♪ fights odor in just one wash.

narrator: ontario, canada, your third-largest trading partner and number one export destination for 17 states.

our economic partnership keeps millions of americans working. we're here, right by your side. [title: ontario, canada] [title: ontario.ca/partner] [title: paid for by the government of ontario] >> greg: we are out of time. tom shillue, johnny joey jones, andrew gruel, kat timpf, studio audience. "fox news at night" is next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america. [cheering and applause] >> trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher, 11:00 p.m. on the east coast, 8:00 in los angeles and this