tennis bracelets 3990. thousands to choose from. always the lowest price. the jewelry exchange direct. >> this guy tyler fisher, a funny comedian. they should. sure nobody will give him a comedy special, sir. it couldn't be done. i made one phone call. the perfect phone call only on fox nation. >> all right. unfortunately, that is all the time we have left this evening. as always, thank you for being with us. thank you for making the show possible. please set your dvr so you never, ever, ever, ever miss an episode of hannity. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld. he's next to put a smile right there on your face. have a great night.

>> there you go. terrible. i think. >> seriously? >> no. stop, i. >> all right? >> i'm so. >> humbled by my popularity. >> happy thursday everyone. >> cnn is poised to lay off hundreds of employees and to. >> make money. >> they're going to put their digital service behind a paywall. that's ironic. to save their failing network, they had to build a wall. cnn's jim acosta reportedly threatened to quit after being banished to the midnight time slot. but in a last minute attempt to boost his ratings, acosta's show will air without audio or video. >> as ice. >> hauled off a haitian gang member, he said, f trump, biden

forever. sorry, that wasn't a haitian gang member. that was jill biden. they often get confused. true. on trump's first day in office, ice arrested over 300 illegals. wow. now who's going to trim joy? because bush is bush as. air pushes air. >> oh, boy. >> bushes. >> it's not getting better. >> in his new book, gop congressman jim comer writes that jerry nadler, no joke, smells like a truck stop restroom, which is false. truck stop restrooms are cleaned once a day. the uk said it would not recognize trump's name change from the gulf of mexico to the gulf of america. trump replied great uk. from now on we call you f uk. the colorado supreme

court ruled that elephants in a zoo can't sue to be set free because they're not human. in related news, the view has canceled their ski trip to aspen. because their fat. nancy pelosi's husband made almost $40 million in stock deals leading up to trump's inauguration. he'll keep half while nancy spends the rest on the scaffolding around her face. i know, terrible, right? and a danish lawmaker told trump to f off when it comes to annexing greenland. did someone say danish? asked one man. it never ends. so remember family ties? it was about a pair of middle aged hippies whose oldest child, alex p keaton, was a 17 year old reaganite.

true, he was the last cool conservative on tv until brit hume. it was a reversal on the usual cliche of liberal teens rebelling against their right wing parents. this time, the touchy feely parents had to deal with their kid wanting policies that actually work. and that was the big joke. oh, look, alex likes reagan. he wants lower taxes and less crime. how hilarious. and this was back in 1982. that's how long the have been getting it wrong. in hollywood's typical leftist arrogance, they thought just the premise of a young guy being republican was so crazy it could be a sitcom. but then alex became the breakout star in michael j. fox, a household name. meanwhile, tina yothers is mowing my lawn. 40 years later, here we are again, and the lessons of the past have been forgotten. like shoulder pads. walter mondale and my

first marriage. >> hey. >> today's liberal parents are suddenly realizing their offsprings have minds of their own. and even with xanax and boxed wine, it's a. take last sunday's new york times fretful article titled when your son goes maga. one mom laments that her 20 year old son eli is generous and thoughtful. but he also voted for donald trump because you know he can't be both. eli's mom hates his maga hat, and they argue about guns and immigration, even abortion. a mom arguing with her son about abortion. that's got to make the kid feel great. it's like a mechanic saying, you're lucky i didn't cut your brakes. meanwhile, other parents blamed it on social media. said one mom. i was like, who got a hold of my son? well, i'm not sure who got a hold of your son, but be relieved it wasn't this guy or even this guy. so maybe mom,

he's just learning to think for himself. he's becoming that independent person you claim to want. but the culture has been turned so upside down by progressives like yourself, that independent thought seems alien to you. his rebellion is necessary thanks to you, and he's the kind of young voter trump reached out to in 2024. while kamala was clucking along with the gassy hens on the view, trump was on podcasts reaching kids who were curious about this creature that seems to get under every adult skin. and he showed he wasn't hitler, stalin, or even kilmeade. he was clear, funny, even real. the opposite of their parents preference demented and drunk. so now college campuses are becoming safe places for republicans. hell, coeds now have shirtless posters of mitch mcconnell on their wall. but we

saw this coming. the effects of authority on independent minds always causes them to rebel when the adult, when the beliefs adults espouse, are expressed without persuasion. telling your kid to make their bed or go to church without explaining why they're not going to listen. and once they can break free from your hectoring, they embrace what you reject. it's like those kids you knew who lived under a strict household. then they went away to college and became drunken, drugged out idiots. that's how i ended up with a bob crane tattoo. so these parents assumed they could just say trump is evil and that would suffice. sure, you can tell your kids sex is just a construct, but then they look down and see, no, that's not a vagina. even the times own premise explains why they lost, asking, how do parents deal with these kids? know it should have been, how do these kids deal with teachers who mock

them simply for asking, why is trump so bad? it's no different than the shows on late night. they demand allegiance to their mundane, predictable and lazy assumptions, and the smart viewers say goodbye and they come over here. you know, i hate to pat myself on the back, but among those crappy late night shows, i was the alex p keaton. oh thank you. no need. but instead of family ties, it was back to the future. and the future was great. you just didn't know it yet. >> let's welcome tonight's. >> guests. in just five short years, he'll be allowed near schools again. comedian host of the jim norton can't save you podcast, jim norton. when she calls the fight, she's the knockout host of outkick. good morning, charlie arnold. she won't stop till she's ready to

drop. new york times best selling author, new york times contributor kat timpf. and he's not allowed to go horseback riding. new york times bestselling author, comedian and former heavyweight champion. jim, a lot of people aren't aware that you're a nationally renowned parenting expert. thank you, greg. which is odd because you don't have any kids. >> yes. and i'm. >> not allowed near schools. >> yes. but you had parents? i did, so did a lot of your behavior. was it contingent on the things they told you not to do? >> you know. >> i always push back. >> like it was. >> i didn't want to get in the family business. like i wanted to kind of do my own thing. >> what was your family business? >> my parents mule heroin. >> and i. >> can see. >> i just didn't want to swallow the little balloons. >> and it's. >> not healthy. i went with the 10 pound bales of marijuana. yes. and i would soak them in castor oil, and a friend would

help me get them in with a croquet mallet. >> i don't remember the question. >> you were asking about my relationship with my folks, but they were always pretty independent. they didn't obsess about politics. any parent that obsesses about politics, you're just a bore. yeah, you're just a bore. and it's just the natural inclination of somebody younger just to go shut up. they don't want to hear it. yeah. if you encourage someone just to be an open minded and a free thinker, they might go the way you want them to go. but these parents are not upset that their kids went for trump. they're upset that like, they're narcissists and they're like, why couldn't i create a clone of my own belief system? so they're just they're just it's about their own narcissism. it's not about their kid and they're disappointed. >> that is a great point. it is, i think, charlie, about compliance. they just wanted you to comply, be like me so i can look at you and go, there's me, i made you. >> but then what did that say about the parents? because we know what the well, what they i

guess what liberal children are doing on college campuses these days. they're joining the girls sports teams at their boys. so i mean, is that reflect on the parents who are attending the pro-palestinian protests. they're on their 18th booster shot. i mean, if that reflects the parents, then you can't really say too many positive things about the parents. i just, you know, when i read these articles, it's like like you said, their kid could be perfect in all ways, except if they vote for donald trump, they're immediately a monster. >> you can't be thoughtful and a trump supporter. >> right. and that's why their brains are broken. because anything related to conservatism in their minds is inherently evil. but it's these kids that have gone through so many things that they probably can't even have their parents even begin to understand. >> do you get along with your parents politically? no. >> i do, no, i do, i just i have uncovered a few things about certain of my family members recently that i'm very upset about, and it's led to some very intense conversations. but yes, i get along very well with my parents. >> do you know kat? you you were different from your late

mother, did she? did she care what direction you went in? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> i. >> wrote about this, like in excruciating. >> detail in my book, actually, because it was a huge. >> it was. >> a. huge issue between us that she was very. >> very religious. >> and i'm not as much as i would like to be, i think i'd be happier if i were. but she, you know. yeah, but i understand her perspective, right. because if she believes that i'm going to hell, i can understand why she just couldn't let that go. >> see, that would make that makes sense. yeah. politically, it's weird if you believe if you vote for trump, are you going to hell? that's not the question. >> that's the thing. and in this article that i read, they said that they were having a hard time talking about these political issues without permanently damaging the relationship. it's like, you guys, you got to get over yourselves, truly. it's insane. i mean, you got to just look at trump and obama laughing together at jimmy carter's funeral. okay? politics. you are pathetic and weird if you are letting it interfere with your relationship with your children on behalf of these

people that don't even care that you exist, well, i hope that my kid will, you know, respect people who believe differently. but it's okay if my kid believes differently than i do. that's not the stuff i worry about. i worry that my kid's going to be like a bad hang. >> yeah. >> you know, like, the kid shows up and people are like, oh, so-and-so's here, you know, that's what i because you can't really control it. your kids are going to be who they're going to be. i'm the same personality as my mom did, but we have different values. i'm a mix of this and that. all my siblings and i are very different. you don't know what you're going to get. >> yeah, you know what you're saying? it's not that you you you don't want to love your kid. you want to like the kid. you want to go like, okay, i like this kid because loving means you don't have to like. >> them, right? you don't want to be, like, humiliated to bring them places. >> yeah, yeah. >> that's a good point. >> boy. >> are you in. >> for a show? >> yeah. >> you know what, though? so it's not really about parents. about parents. it's about a whole the whole community of

people around you who demanded that you agree. and yet when they demand for you to agree, they actually don't take the effort to persuade you to agree. >> no. well. >> i disagree a little bit because in my house it was different children that meant, i guess, me weren't allowed at the dinner table during conversations of politics. the best i could ever understand of what happened in an election night was, oh, that guy. and that was it from my bedroom. be like, i don't know, the guy won. i'm not sure who we weren't. it was just something that that you weren't allowed to talk about it because you didn't know about it. that's what you go learn about in history. and i kind of done the same thing with my kids. but unfortunately, my daughter met president trump, so she became a trumper because she met him and he was nice to her. and they talked. and so when tv would come on and kamala would speak, i would hear this guy

and i would go and she was like, she doesn't talk very good. how could anyone vote for her? anyone who votes for her is an idiot. yeah, trump has good sentences and i was like that. that is right. and what are you voting for him on his vocabulary. and he always wears a suit. i respect the man in a suit. she's ten. and. and why won't you vote for kamala? because she talks like she's four and i hate babies. >> and there you go. a beautiful, heartwarming tale. i'm looking forward to your next children's book. jim. yes. do you have a title for it yet? >> yes, it's called this whole thing's a misunderstanding. >> up next, trump gives partizan hacks panic attacks. >> beautiful. >> that was beautiful. >> advil liquid gels are faster. >> and stronger. >> than tylenol. >> rapid release gels. also

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tablets for just $7 is tri friday plans.com. >> it's coming your way. >> hey. >> hey. it's. video of the. day. >> it's the same boring jokes from the same boring blokes. our video of the day comes from the late night lives, who are struggling to grapple with the fact that their favorite orange dictator is back. roll it mary. >> today at noon eastern. >> our long national. >> nightmare was officially. sworn in. another time. >> after this, we're going. to play who wore. >> it better? >> me. >> melania or the hamburglar? >> today. donald trump was. sworn in. as the 47th. >> president of the. >> united states. >> yeah, i'm. >> we're all united. that's great to know. >> because today is martin luther king jr. day. and like martin luther king, i also had a dream. i mean, it had to be a

dream, right? >> this is a tumultuous time in american history filled with much uncertainty and trepidation. >> hey hey, hey, hey. remember what obama said. don't boo, vote. >> and if. >> possible, do that. >> several months ago. how do you how do you how. >> do you make. >> sense of today? how did we. >> get here? >> so how did we get here, young man? well, while they pretended trump was hitler, biden led us towards world war three. they went all in on trump and evil, and now they have no backup plan. reminds me of when i asked my mom to the prom and she turned me down. so, charlie, isn't it crazy that they they didn't think ahead? that at least there's a possibility that there's going to be a change in maybe, you know, they should prepare for it. >> what would that mean? finding a brand new writing team because their material is so old? i mean, these jokes aren't funny anymore. who wants to tell them? i'm unsure, and i actually i don't know how their shows works if they use piped in audio, but if they do, they should pay their audio guy really well because they're

obviously going to need the audio companionship of the people laughing in the background. if they plan on telling these same jokes, they just make sure they don't hire the audio guy who is in charge of carrie underwood's music at the capitol building. that did not turn out so well, but truly, the real comedy would have been if kamala harris would have won the election. because just imagine on monday, the scene. >> oh, they would have been swooning. they would have been swooning. >> we would have had twerking going on. >> yeah. they'd have to blow dry their underwear. >> we would have had the hairy armpits on kamala's stepdaughter. >> i mean. >> it just would have been. that would have been pure comedy. >> i that's a big loss for me, cat, that we don't have the stepdaughter. she was an absolute joy, i have to say. i did like i liked fallon's joke. the hat joke was cute. the hamburglar was a cute. >> yeah, and i but i loved the hat, though. it was just such a it was such a power move. like it was like she like, i don't want to wear eye makeup either a lot, you know? that's why i started wearing glasses, actually. remember how i wore glasses when i actually could

see perfectly? yes, because it made me look like i'd been studying. and not just that i was lazy and didn't want to put makeup on. and now i'm nearsighted. >> god has a sense of humor. >> but yeah, but i thought, you know, a lot of the other stuff was just hack. like colbert was like, oh, now we can draw. it's okay to drink in the morning. now it's like, shut up. it's not relatable. most people, i don't think, get an urge to, you know, engage in extreme self-destructive behaviors because of an election. yeah, i think most people only do that because of a breakup. >> yeah. this is almost a breakup. >> no. if you're reacting that like you've got broken up with and that's that's i don't think that's i don't think that's normal. i don't think that's the average person. >> you know, i think you're right that the people that i've heard that talk like this, there's something else going on. yeah. there's something going on behind that. it's like a resentment or something that they're working through. tyrus, do you think they're just going to avoid politics altogether, or are they going to get. >> back on? that would be

clever. >> yeah. >> that would be that would be a good idea. but they're performing wrestling. we have a term called you always are performing for an audience of one. it means if at the time when i was there, vince mcmahon was in charge. you wrestling? yeah. he's watching. if he likes it, you're good. if he doesn't, if he doesn't like it, it doesn't matter if 10,000 people screaming you're you're done. so whomever the cfo or the ceo of these shows, who wants this, who likes this, who we got to keep the fight going. they are prostituting themselves as as talent. i think the one, the one that bothers me the most is fallon, because he is truly talented and funny and it's sad to see him reduced to this, this shucking and jiving, pushing the trump is bad syndrome. when he was a funny guy, he did funny sketches. he made one mistake. he played with president trump's hair. and you know, they're always threatening to take his money away. and i don't know, i've had a lot of jobs. and when it

doesn't work for me anymore, you can keep the paycheck because my dignity means a lot more and i'm talented, so i'll get on somewhere else. but i just just keeping it real. but. they're all going to keep doing this as long as the people signing their paychecks want it. regardless of the fact that the latest polls came out, i think we were like 3.4 the close. if you had to combine two of them to get close to us. yeah, they got a they have a lead every night of 35 million. they start out before the shows hit there. you're up 35 million to nothing. and then you lose by a million. i'm not a scientist, but change the up. >> jim. it seems like they were. they were used to writing jokes to elicit applause. you do the opposite, which i

admire. >> yes, i do. i not only perform for a party of one. it's how i have sex. you know, it's like when you're a comedian, every joke does not have to be a punctuation of your belief system. your job is not to convince people. it's not to give a ted talk. your job is to be funny. and if you can get your point across, that's great. but it's okay to make fun of your point too. and it's okay to crucify people that you like. like what i'm doing right now. i'm giving a speech. it's boring. i'm not being funny. i'm doing exactly what i'm saying i. >> shouldn't be doing. >> so what they should all do is watch this segment and say jim has gotten a little fatter, don't do what he's doing. i'm being boring. and i'm saying be funny and i'm not being funny at all. that's what they have to avoid doing. stop speaking with such gravity, you. you're not changing anybody's mind. your depth is not impressive. it's boring and it's predictable. just be funny. trash trump. he's the president. the sitting president deserves to be made fun of. but so does everybody

else. so just with a machine gun, just blast everybody in politics. that's how you should do jokes. >> tomorrow. tomorrow's headline comedian urges you to open fire at the president. >> oh, yeah. >> i should i should rephrase that. >> no, it's. >> no. >> it's too late. >> we're having that clip. we're putting it out tonight. >> that's a that's another one where you say there's been a misunderstanding. >> yes. >> there has been. yes. i meant to say metaphorically. verbally. >> they're loading it into the lead story on fox and friends tomorrow night. >> made their night. >> yeah. and the worst part is they would put comedian in quotes. >> all right. up next is the pennies defense worth your $0.02? >> we will. >> give. >> and doug. >> you'll be back. >> emus can't help people customize and save hundreds on

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elon musk's doge is targeting the penny due to its high manufacturing costs. it costs $0.03 to make a penny. so i have this question for you. a penny for your thoughts. cat. >> i haven't gotten pennies for a long time. like why? like, i don't know, pennies. you can't buy anything with a penny. my whole. my whole lifetime, you've never been able to buy a thing with a penny? i don't know about your lifetime. >> oh. >> could you buy things with pennies in your life? >> yes you could. we had this thing called penny candy. >> okay. you did? yes. all right. we had that at the end. i'm learning so much. i learned what family ties was today also. i always knew it was a show about white. i thought it was a show about white people. nailed it. yeah. i don't see for the longest time. why? it's just they get. nobody wants them. even the kids don't want them. they throw. say you're insulting me and they'll throw them at your head so you don't give me this. you know, nobody wants a penny. >> people threw pennies at.

>> you as a child. you have to just pull the. they're fun. they're fun to, like, you know, throw into a fountain. but even that, you're like, this isn't going to come true. >> no. >> it's a penny. >> yeah, yeah. it's like the wish givers, like cheap, actually. >> now i'm against you. >> yes. >> now i want nothing. good for you. if someone gives me a like if. think about it, though. if someone gives you a penny, you'd be like, what did i do to you? >> yeah, but i'm going to go one step further, tyrus. it's not just the penny. i mean, the nickel is getting away with murder, you know? and then there's a dime. so i have this test. whatever you drop, if you're not willing to pick it up on the street, then that we should get rid of it. >> well, that's not. >> for you. that's at least $10,000, right? >> yeah. >> plus it's new york. you need a tetanus shot if you go. >> to pick it up. >> no, i just like pennies for other reasons. pennies were always the excuse for one of the brothers that i went to school with. like, everyone was doing their history homework, and he wouldn't do it. and he would his his main thing would be to lay out a penny, a

nickel, a dime and a quarter. he goes, you see the racism here? and i'd be like. no, why? why? see, you free the slaves and everybody else turns their back on you because abe lincoln's facing the opposite direction of all the other presidents. so then after that, you'd be like, wow, man, you're so smart. so i'm glad to see them go. no one uses change. it used to be when you were a kid and broke. if you saw a penny or a nickel, a quarter was a big fine. >> yes. >> and you found a penny. you still pick it up because you'd be like 99 more. i got a dollar. yeah, but now it's like a penny. you. >> it's amazing that it costs three times to make. >> it's changed. we need to probably just get away from coins altogether. i know people who still do laundry at the laundromat are going to be furious, but don't they do cards and stuff now? yeah, i don't know. i've been homeless. >> my life. take cards now in new york. >> yes, yes. >> so they have their venmo set up. >> i saw a guy with. >> a homeless guy with a sign. >> that said venmo me. yeah, yeah. >> so it's time. abe. thanks.

appreciate you. but yeah, it's time to go. no one uses it, even if you're giving your kids. hey, you want my change? you're like, i only take 20, bro. yeah, i mean, it's just time to move on. >> you know, jim, as a seasoned epidemiologist, you've looked into this matter deeply. has anybody ever asked about the germ content of change? it's like we don't know where the change has been. >> yes. and it's funny. you really did read my. because i hate when you'd have to roll pennies i wouldn't want. so i never had the roller, so i would always carry them to the bank in my mouth. i would take a handful and put them in my mouth. and spit them out. because my hands. >> yes. >> and i hope they don't get rid of them. i really do, because how else am i supposed to tip my doorman? i pulls the door plink. >> yeah, it is like a tip. that is an anti tip. >> yeah, it's just hit me in the face.

>> yes. so, charlie, the cost to make a penny has actually doubled since 2016. other countries have ditched their $0.01 coin and we and we would save about 180 million if we got rid of it, which i don't even understand. the math. >> seems like a no brainer. i just have to remark on one thing. i actually have had pennies in my mouth before, because back in high school i don't know if it was a myth, but it was said. i mean, i'm giving myself away. yes, i drank a few times in high school once or twice, but if you that if you had pennies in your mouth, if you blew into a breathalyzer, it would not detect the alcohol. so that was like a little thing that we would, you know, make you drunk, drove home. >> no, we wouldn't drive. >> we wouldn't drive. i just remember distinctly, once sitting in the front yard of some random home, having pennies in my mouth. so there's my penny story. but no, i'm all about ditching the pennies. i actually never even got breathalyzed, so i'm not sure if it worked, so i can't give you any advice. >> if you ditched the penny, then the penny becomes worth something that's, you know, right? >> over time.

>> change is burdensome. i have a massive bag of change has been sitting on my desk for approximately eight years now. i have had it in five different apartments as i've moved around new york city. yes, constantly want to take it to one of those coinstar machines that don't exist anymore. so. and i'm also not willing to roll. >> up those. >> machines, i loved them, i. >> loved going there with my chain. >> what is? >> and i'd do it in front of a homeless person. >> yeah. >> i have a big bag of change. and the homeless guy staring at me and i go, look. $43. >> i never trusted them. i always thought that they were ripping you off. >> they do. they take a commission? >> they do. but i didn't even trust the commission, i didn't. >> some man inside like. yes. >> yeah, i never trusted it. >> yeah, well, you know what? i got? nothing. >> let's send all of our pennies to ukraine. >> there you. >> as a farewell gift. >> there you go. perfect. all right. this is a fun story. is doug to blame for kamala's campaign? >> known for creating memories. no one wants to. >> be.

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>> i hear that from women all the time. so tonight on is this even real? i don't know what that means. >> why you have a kid now? >> yes, exactly. is it doug's fault for kamala's loss? so, tyrus, sources tell the daily mail, and i believe them at all times that kamala thinks doug emhoff may have cost her the election because of his past controversies. and reportedly, their relationship is on the rocks. do you think this is real? >> yeah. something doesn't go your wife's way. she blames the husband. never heard that before. that never happens. i feel bad for doug. like, how dare she blame him? his life is hard enough. can you imagine trying to pick a restaurant with kamala? like you're in the car and she's like, i'm hungry. where do you want to eat? you're not going to understand what she's. well, first we would be unburdened by the hunger that has been, you know,

like, how do you deal with that? imagine it's wednesday night and the kids are in bed, and the nanny's been off for a week, and it's supposed to be alone time and trying to get her to answer whether you can have sex or not. and all she's giving you is word salads. i mean, that's it's. no, this dude's life has been a living hell. he has to stand there. he's the only person in the world that has to stand there. why is she talks about school busses and acts like it's cool? because he's her husband. yeah, he deserves a hug. >> yes. and not from a nanny, that's for sure. jim, you are a renowned relationship expert. >> thank you, greg, indeed i am. >> do you see the telltale signs between these two lovebirds that maybe things aren't going well? share your dirt. >> well, it's like my new relationship book, trouble in paradise. he. i first of all,

to blame him is like i almost voted for her just because he knocked up the nanny. >> yeah. >> i said anyone who does that, that's a guy who. that should be the first gentleman of the united states. but who knows if it's even true. people are saying the obamas are getting, i don't believe or care about any of it. i imagine she's a bit overbearing and annoying, like when someone loses an election, they're probably very difficult to be around. >> yeah. >> you know what i mean. whoever it is, when they lose, i mean, i imagine biden is not a pleasant hang right now. >> oh, he doesn't remember. >> no, he really doesn't. >> no, no. >> unless he watches nosferatu and thinks it's home movies. because he's. an excellent reference. >> to an oscar nominated film. >> yeah. anyway, that's. i don't really know or care. i. i just hope that he looks happy in that photo. you can tell he's content. i.

>> eli, how did i get here? he's thinking charlie, he's taking a new job in new york. >> so that. >> he split his split time with kamala and their la home. >> i mean, that's kind of your first indication. he's like, let me make this bicoastal. i only have to see you half the time versus all the time. although then i saw the report that they're searching for a home in new york city, and i'm like, great, now i have the pleasure of potentially running into kamala harris on the street and hearing her cackle all the way down the block. but honestly, i don't know. they were trying to remember that left for a long time was like, this is the definition of masculinity. doug emhoff we're. >> like, what are. >> you talking about? he is the definition of a low tea soy batter. so as much as i don't like kamala harris or respect really anything about her, if she is deciding to part ways, i mean, at least she's having a little bit of a wake up call because he's not president material based on, you know, his alleged past indiscretions. you do. >> god damn it, damn it. you're

not going to blame him at one time. at one time, he looked like fabio. he had long hair and abs, and he was. he's been listening to that voice for eons and decades, and it molded him. the reason why he looks like smeagol now. because he was too close to the ring. it was always talking. let's be unburdened by what has been. >> you sound like you're speaking from personal experience. >> i know, i know, if i was with her, i would be in jail for murder. >> that. >> cat. what say you? >> i think we could have done the whole show on this, i really do it. okay. you do. everyone judges people based on who they marry. because you can figure out a lot about a person based on who they marry. she must have known that he impregnated his last wife's nanny, and he she still married him. so you can say, what kind of person would do that? there's a lot of different kinds of profiles that would do that. it could be someone who

has low self-esteem. that's not her. she has high self-esteem. she did it because she likes that. he did that because she has a up to lord over him. >> okay. >> she likes i. there are many marriages that last, not because the people love each other, but because the people they hate each other so much, and they know that no one has the power to make the other one as miserable as they do. that is kamala and doug okay? because she doesn't want to be with a regular guy who never impregnated a nanny, because then she doesn't get to be like, i just have a really hard time trusting you ever since you impregnated the nanny and, like. and then he makes him feel like he needs to spend his whole life making it up to her. she likes that power. and she. and to give him up and be with a guy that wouldn't do that would be giving up that power and control. >> all right. >> but to be clear, just because you have four different babies. from four different women doesn't mean you're a bad guy.

>> no. >> just to be clear. >> all right. true. >> just just throwing that out there. >> a breaking story we're going to get to right now. does the hardware store make you want to poop more? >> streaming now on fox nation. >> let's do it. >> outrageous. >> is this an official bat? >> offensive. >> you're a dead man. >> and totally obscene. >> have you ever. >> seen a grown man naked? >> just how. we like it. >> the wayne's world swing. >> it's time to. laugh again. after all. >> it is. >> a free country. >> this kind of thing happens to me. >> every week. >> fox nation proudly. >> declares comedy. >> is great again. classic comedy streaming now and exclusive stand up specials coming this month on fox. >> nation. public.com is the one place where you can invest in. almost everything stocks, options, bonds, crypto. you can even lock in a. 6% or higher yield. all your investing. >> in one place. >> get up to $10,000 when you transfer an account to

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>> when brown comes to town. >> you need. >> a man. who won't blush at the sound of a flush. you need the poo, detective. >> welcome to you, viewers. does the hardware store make you poop? more tonight on poop detective, the mysterious laxative known as home depot. turns out hardware stores give shoppers the urge to poop, and doctors think they know why the place stinks, according to one scientist. hardware stores provide lots of sensory overload, which can cause sudden bowel movements. timber, fertilizer, potting mixes, varnishes, all that can trigger the vagus nerve, which controls digestion and thus the unmistakable need to crap. and i think about this. this explains the last time i was at home depot. thank god they had

those floor models. >> charlie. >> has this ever happened to you? at home depot or lowe's or wherever you buy your your house building needs? >> the last home improvement store i was in was at home depot in denver, and i absolutely could tell you how to get to the bathroom. really? yes. i used the bathroom, and i distinctly remember, like, going through one there. there to the bathroom. there's. the other thing is you spend a lot of time, more time than expected in these stores because you get so wrapped up in like, ooh, paint colors. i'm not painting anything, but of course i have to analyze all the paint colors. if i were painting my whole house, right. or like looking at ceiling fans, you're like, there's so many options. i mean. >> yeah, you end up there for days. >> it's like target. >> yes it is. you know, jim, i'm afraid of your answer. is there any place where you don't have the urge to poop. >> in the bathroom? normally?

>> so you just sit there? >> is that. >> yeah, i just i take selfies and eat poundcake. no. typically the urge like that, that urge that my friend once described as that telltale heaviness in your lower back. yes. it's like, you know, it's going to happen. i get that. what i'm doing jumping jacks or the first time i kiss a woman. >> that's a beautiful, beautiful story. >> thank you. >> greg. >> a hopeless romantic you are. kat, i have to say, i always do my business before i shop. i do my business before the show. often on kilmeade's desk. do you. do you buy the science? >> no, i don't think it's true. no. i have a friend, though, who has this problem with bookstores. yeah, yeah, that's like a thing, though. they say bookstores, i don't know. >> that's right. this is just like the bookstore story. >> i don't think any of it's real. i'm pregnant, so i haven't, like, had to poop

since may. >> yeah. >> oh, my god, what if you're not really pregnant? it's just. >> oh. >> you could just have the worst case of constipation in history. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> it's all built up. yeah. i'll let you know. i'm still taking off three months. >> you know? yeah. >> either way, i think i'd be. >> oh, that. >> yeah. >> that's interesting. you could take poop leave. >> i think that one's five months, actually. >> tyrus, the last word to you. do you believe this? >> this is the stupidest thing i've ever heard. i am someone who does my own building, etc, and i go to lowe's. maybe a sponsorship. at some point. you go in, you get your stuff and you get out because you have you have to do. this is why science is dead. this is i

guarantee you, this is a british. another one of those british labs. >> it was australian. >> yeah. oh, same thing. same. oh, the prison brits, the prison brits. and they're like, oh, i have to go to the bathroom because you don't work with your hands, you lazy bags of oatmeal. no one goes to the hardware store to check out the porcelain in the back. you get in and you are. your manhood is judged by your precision. and you fellas know what i'm talking about. you walk in there, you get the nails, you get this. and when someone comes up to you and says, do you need help? no, i was made for this. and you get in and you get out. it's ridiculous. science is dead. >> all right, kids, we'll be right back. >> lumify. >> it's kind of amazing. >> wow. >> my go to is lumify. >> eye drops. >> lumify dramatically reduces redness in one minute. >> and look at the difference. >> my eyes look brighter and whiter. >> for up to eight hours. >> lumify really works. >> see for yourself.

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