and mitch mcconnell pushed that issue. >> sean: they might have a problem there. but there is one commander and chief and that would be donald j trump that's not mitch mcconnell. >> that's right. but again, that's where you get into this spending here, in terms of -- you talk about the overall size of the pentagon budget and how massive it is. they have to look at doing cutting if they are going >> appreciate it, chad, con grat lathss to pete hegseth, ore fist secretary of defence. that's all we have left tonight, please set your dvp so you never miss an episode. foxnews/hannitg. greg gutfeld is next. ken will recap the breaking news at 11. have a great weekend. [cheering and applause] [♪♪]

[♪♪] >> greg: thank you. thank you! thank you! i'd like to thank each and every one of you right now. no, kidding. good evening, everyone. kamala harris reportedly consulted hillary clinton multiple times on dealing with her crushing loss in the 2024 election, which gave both husbands time to go out and bang some whores. harris reportedly asked hillarien advice about what to do after losing to trump. you know what cheers me up when i'm feeling down, said hillary? murder. and then disguising it as suicide. the philadelphia mayor cheryl parker is being mocked by sports

fans for her inability to spell world "eagles", she said, when asked to spell the 76ers, she said, i can't do math either. [laughter] >> greg: as you know, trump has declared there are only two generaleders. if you're confused about which gender you are, one man volunteered to take a look. [laughter] [app [applause]. >> greg: i can get two cigars in there. kamala harris has established a new company called "pioneer 49", she says it's a combination of her secret service code name and the number of states there are. [laughter] >> greg: oscar nominations were just announced, as usual, nancy pelosi's face is favoured to win for best special effects.

[applause]. >> greg: spirit airlines has introduced a new dress code for passengers that ban skimpy outfits. guess it means you're flying frontier, larry. [laughter] >> greg: fly high, cut low. according to a new study, over the past century. men have increased in size. twice as fast as women. with one exception. [laughter] [applause]. >> greg: too easy, but accurate. and in case your wondering, it's still freezing in new york city, so cold, even the chalk body outlines in the park are shivering. [laughter] >> greg: x politicalco-reporters revealed

editors would deliberately kill any stories negative about biden. current politico reporters have been told not to report this. trump signed an executive order, declassifying the files on the assassinations of mlk [applause]. >> greg: applauding assassinations. the assassinations of mlk, rfk, and jfk. still no word on who killed a-l-f. he's dead. >> greg: yes! >> kate, willy. >> greg: in his crack down on illegal immigration, trump's ice raid has turned up a number of suspected pedophiles, which will no doubt delay hollywood's summer blockbusters.

>> good point. >> greg: scientists have created an artificial tongue that uses ai to detect food spoilage and contaminations, and the tongue can also detect very lonely scientists. doej wants to stop minting pennies, arguing it costs three cents to produce a one-cent coin, but without pennies, a few critics wonder how they'll be able to tick their waitress. actor benedict cumberbatch revealed while filming a show in south africa, he was kidnapped by six men and bound for hours. where do i sign up, asked one man. [applause]. >> greg: still a punch line. the unemployment and the punch line. as you know, president trump

announced the gulf of mexico will be renamed the gulf of america. but also adds that mexico will be known as diarrhea land. [laughter] >> greg: i'd go to that amusement park. and finally, here is an odd story. a teen was busted by his angry mom for waiting in line to have sex with a porn star. she said, wait until your father hears about this. he's in the back of the line! [laughter] [cheering and applause] >> greg: all right, to the monologue. so in his first week, we saw trump fulfill 46 promises in roughly 24 hours. that's two an hour, give or take a few. and just as a comparison, the only thing biden did twice an hour was pee. [laughter] >> greg: so trump hit the ground running, while biden just hit the ground.

face first. trump's actions include giving dhs and border patrol the green light to deport illegals, eliminating dei from government programs, ending remote work for federal employees, designating two, and only two genders, ie protecting women's sports, and releasing the assassination files. so was this hard? not at all. it was easier than beating stephen hawking in a game of twister. [laughter] >> you thought he was good? >> greg: and why? well, i bet trump sees them all as all solvable problems. >> president donald trump: they're all solvable problems. >> i agree. >> president donald trump: they're all solvable. >> i agree, not easy. >> president donald trump: with time, effort, money, unfortunately. but they're all solvable problems. we can get our country back. if we didn't win this race, i really believe our country would have been lost forever. i think we got there just in the nick of time. >> greg: you know he's right,

the problems are solvable, if you view them as problems. this is why they weren't solvable under democrats. they were not problems to them. but eggs, they were willing to break to make their toxic omelet. the dems did nothing about the gangs, crime, other obvious stuff, because they lost the ability to admit something was wrong. why would they miss such obvious fixes? maybe because the problems were part of the plan? and in some cases, not solving a problem kept their so-called problem solvers in business. the race baiters, the climate huks ters, the dei department heads. if they preserved a problem, made it worse, you couldn't get rid of them. as long as we had racial divisions, al sharpton got paid. as long as john carey spoke of the dangers of co2, he could fly private around the globe, spewing more gases than jerry nadler in the capitol men's room. after -- after a bowl of bad

clams. >> okay. >> greg: and why was america first so hard to understand? perhaps they heard, oh, america is better than everyone else? and that pissed them off. but america first does not put the country above others, anymore than putting your family first means it's better than other families. it's just the top priority. this could be why liberals are hated by their kin. they would rather save the smelt than visit grandma. and now both republicans and democrats look at what trump is doing and they think, wow, this wasn't that hard. why didn't this happen before? well, because either they didn't want it or didn't have the balls to do it. now we got a guy who does. but the ease at which these changes are accepted, it speaks to the degradation of a country previously under no leadership. trump's effectiveness mirrors in scale and scope the absolute treasonous desergs of presidential duties by the biden

white house, in a way, trump has got it easy, with a biden white house so callow and inept, the problems it created, although vast and serious, were actually easy to correct, as long as you're normal. for trump, following the biden administration is like following your dog with a pooper scooper. [laughter] >> greg: high ironic, the person the media deemed ir rational, even nuts, is doing the things every sane person needs, but we have been gas lit so long that normal seems crazy. so in this case, the inmates should be running the asylum. and so all of trump as actions are obvious, just free money on the table to be scooped up by the one guy who saw it sitting there. makes you wonder, how long could this decent into madness have continued, if kamala won. she would be trying to get illegal a pair of fake tits on the taxpayer's dime on death

road. it's like america was driving down the road with tires worn down, sparks shooting out of the rims, with jim -- joe -- jim is his brother --' sleep at the will. democrats pretended not the notice, trump jumped in, grabbed the wheel and pulled the car over just in time. so when the media describes trump's actions on the crime, the border, federal workers, as a crack down, it's not. it's a correction. and that makes the crimes of the previous administration so much worse. they had the chance to follow the law. they didn't. so it was not just a failure of common sense, it was a failure of will. and that inaction should never be forgotten. but they should be. and the only thing we need to remember is never to vote for them again. [cheering and applause] >> greg: let's welcome tax gas! she hosts the bottom line when she's not smuggling moon shine!

he's like rosy perez, except his name is lou, comedian lou perez! her points are profound and her belly is round. new york times best selling author kat. and he flosses with a live python, new york times beth selling author, comedian, tyrus. [cheering and applause] >> greg: i think that, you know, for one thing, it seems like trump has filled the space of all politics by doing this, by doing all of these executive actions. but i keep thinking, the presence of trump tells you what the absence was. like, all of these -- nobody is coming out against these actions because they all make sense. and they're so obvious. we're just following the law. so it tells you what was

missing. >> right. there is even virtually no push back with the ice raids. you've heard almost no left wing cater walling about, well, you know, dangerous rapists and murders who should not be in the country being arrested and sent out of the united states. but it's after the pathological dishonesty of joe biden and that incompetence and the sadism and not the fun kind of sadism, it makes what trump is doing so astonishing, that he's honouring his promises, in just a matter of days, each and every one, and that goes against human kind -- well, politician kind, and certainly any man i have ever known biblecally. morning, love, i'll call you later.

nothing. >> nothing. >> oh, you know, i'll take you somewhere nice for your birthday. dave and busters. i don't like going to eat places where everything is sticky. >> greg: yeah! i remember i went out on a date, i took her to dave and busters, it was two guys i knew down the street. r.i.p. >> i'd just like to say, for the record, i like dave and busters. >> i do too! >> it is a lot of fun. >> a lot of games to play in there, lou. some of these actions are immediate, but some, like, it's going to be a challenge to undo a lot of the consequences. like, the dei stuff, there are people hired now -- you can't fire them and get rid of the office, but you can't get rid of the hires. >> yeah, it's really interesting. when the democrats were in control, it was basically rule by executive order. and it's like they didn't think, like, hey, in four years, we could be ruled by -- or

overruled by executive order. and with a lot of these, like, i'm -- you know, i'm a fan of a lot of the executive orders. the one i have a problem with is recognizing the gender, male and female, because that means that now it's illegal for me to use the women's restroom. [laughter] >> or a women's prison. and i just feel like i'm being erased, you know, in a way. >> greg: yeah! have you ever used a woman's bathroom. it is unusual. it's often dirtier than you think. >> it is. >> it is filthy. >> it is way dirtier. it's so disgusting. just sit -- ladies, just sit. if you would sit, we all could sit. [laughter] >> it's a terrible place for a date. one of the worst >> that's my campaign slogan. stop the spray. >> yes, yes! with the bathroom, the bathrooms actually should be split into sit and not going to sit. i am so sick of cleaning up other people's piss. >> greg: hmm. >> it's also not good for your

bladder. so clearly you only care about yourself, you care about your bladder, you should sit. >> greg: i'm glad we covered that. kat, i'm going to ask you about these assassination documents. >> mmhmm. >> greg: do you think -- how are we going to find out -- where are they going to be released, and will they be so red redacted. >> that's the thing. jfk was killed by...redacted >> that's the thing. i am excited about it. but i'm excited about it in the same way i always get hosed getting excited about when i see a trailer for a season of the reality t.v. i watch. >> greg: right. >> i'm like, this looks juicy. i'm so excited to see the drama, and you realize it's been edited in such a way you don't get to see the good stuff. >> greg: yeah. >> am i excited? yes. do you think i'm going to be disappointed? yes. >> greg: mmhmm. >> i will say, though, i'm very pleasantly surprised that he -- he did the free ross. >> greg: yeah. >> he actually did. he didn't do day 1, but it was

pretty damn close. and i'll -- i wasn't really sure he was going to actually do that. i think that's really awesome. >> greg: i can't believe that guy got multi. life terms. i didn't read enough about -- what was the web side? >> silk road. >> greg: i don't know enough about it. they were saying he was guilty that everything did on that website >> on the website, that should never be the case, and it was not with other things. >> thank god. my website, people do terrible things on there. oh, ho, ho. t t tyrus, what kills me, a lot of executive orders, specifically the immigration ones, they're not new, they're enforcing existing laws. no wonder people are going, oh, yeah, that makes sense. >> no, what they're trying to do -- i watched a lot of the so-called pundits from the democrats, oh, yeah, we were doing that. we were doing that. and one guy was like, oh, big deal.

you arrested 350 murders and pedophiles and rapists. you know, what about the 10 million other illegal aliens that didn't do anything wrong. and it's like, stupid, say what you just said again? >> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> they broke the law. they -- their push back is different because they haven't found the way yet to connect this to hitler. it's going to be -- they need one deportee to get to the line of mexico and be like -- >> greg: yeah. >> and they'll be like, ah-ha, hitler. they haven't found a way. they don't have the skill set. it's not their fault. the best and brightest couldn't speak or remember. so it's going to take them a while before they can come with an opposition. and it's hard when you -- the people around you are like, man, i'm going to sleep a lot better tonight knowing that in my neighborhood, the 16 wanted murders and rapists are no

longer going to be here, and they're like, well, yeah, but a m mysoginist is the one who arrested him and cascade complete. your dishwasher does the work for you, with temperatures up to 140 degrees - too hot for hands. some dishwashers even have a sanitizing cycle. load pots, pans and tableware at the bottom, with plastic and glassware on top. cascade complete removes visible and invisible residue, for virtually spot-free and shiny dishes. switch to your dishwasher, and cascade complete. introducing new eroxon gel, the first fda-cleared ed treatment available without a prescription. eroxon gel is clinically proven to work within ten minutes, so you and your partner can experience the heights of intimacy. new eroxon ed treatment gel.

>> a story in five words frm kamala gets advice from hillary. check this out, in the wake of her loss to donald trump, kamala harris has reached out, reportedly, to allies for advice, including someone who knows the sting of defeat, hillary clinton. how do you think that conversation went? >> well, i bet hillary enjoyed seeing a woman who got beat

worse than she did by donald trump. if she's giving advice, i bet she's telling kamala, just have another drink. keep drinking. black out for the next four years, and then come back, just drunker and stronger. >> greg: yeah, act like it never happened, like when you black out. i don't know. what do you mean, i fell down the stairs naked? that wasn't me. kat. >> mmhmm. >> greg: all right, kat, they have spoken several times. she's got what -- an uncertain future? i think she looks for hillary for guidance, is that the best person to seek guidance from? and maybe perhaps wearing mumus at events. i love a good mumu. airy. shoplifting is easy. >> mmhmm. mmhmm. >> greg: yes. >> no. >> greg: no. >> i don't think so. because it's actually almost

remarkable hillary's complete inability or refusal to move on at all, i don't know what she's asking for for advice on, hillary says, nothing, this is your life now. what other advice could she give? what you do is talk about this forever. and whenever anyone tries to talk about anything else, you [bleep] refuse to do that, okay? >> greg: yes. >> and anybody suggests you should, that person is the problem, you're not the problem, you did nothing wrongful this is your -- i mean, they -- they could just do that all day. >> greg: yeah. >> i understand there is some period where you want to commiserate, i understand not wanting to get back out there right away of something so tough. this is the next generation of lady who lost to trump, and hillary is not giving up her seat to letting it go. >> greg: that's true. almost like an encounter group. women beaten by trump meets every thursday night.

>> greg: church basement, free coffee. >> thanks to you, i'm not afraid of what i was going to say. i don't think this is a fun conversation. i think it was, you think that's bad. you think that's bad. i think originally she called you for, say you have an annoying husband who lost you the election, how would you get him to suicide yourself. that's how the conversation started, and then you're like, you think it's that bad, what if your husband has so much secret service, you can't get next to him. oh, girl, i didn't think about that. she was like, i lost, you list, and hillary, to be hillary, she was like, at least i wasn't black and lost. you check two boxes. that should have been a home run. how are you black and a woman in a woke society and lose.

like, i was feeling bad about myself, but i was like, at least i wasn't the black lady. >> greg: that's actually a good point. and then kamala is like, bitch. [laughter] >> and then hillary said, you know what, we should to do a netflix special together, called the cool white woman who sits next to the black woman who lost to hitler. >> greg: you lost to hitler. you know, i find it interesting that, you know, hillary and harris were portrayed for forces for women's freedom, but they were both absent when the fight was actually over women's spaces. meanwhile, the president, this cad, right, this lethario is the one who bans men from women's spaces. he's done more from feminism, second wave feminism, if you

will, than those two. that's got to sting. >> yeah. [cheering and applause] >> x, x, baby. oh, that's offensive. i'm sorry. not anymore, it's not. when they use the word "advice", i thought, what would you actually go to angsty bitch bag for advice on? a t.v. career? skin care tap tips, no, how to keep your man satisfied and at home? nope. the only thing i could figure out is kamala is trying to make herself feel better by rubbing [bleep] in because kamala, at least, was on a ticket that beat president trump. not so much hillary clinton. >> greg: that's true. >> hillary clinton has never been on a winning ticket. hillary clinton has never really been in the white house, other than being, you know, the home slice. >> greg: yeah.

>> so she -- you know, she probably is trying to make herself feel better. >> greg: they both, though, do have something. they both have annoying daughters, right? i mean, what was -- what was hillary's kid's name? brat? chelsea. and then you got that emhoff thing. >> ella. >> greg: yeah. >> i don't know, daigon, i don't know if i would brag because my boss the dementia and i couldn't outsmart him and take his job. [laughter] >> greg: yes! >> on kamala's side. >> greg: we shall move to the next segment. politico was hiding negative stories about biden. over 30% of the food sold in grocery stores goes to waste, and many of us don't give it a second thought our meat and seafood is individually portioned and vacuum sealed, locking in freshness and flavor, allowing you to feed your family with what you need

while reducing waste visit good ranchers dot com and discover american meat delivered narrator: ontario, canada, your third-largest trading partner and number one export destination for 17 states. our economic partnership keeps millions of americans working. we're here, right by your side. [title: ontario, canada] [title: ontario.ca/partner] [title: paid for by the government of ontario] it ain't my dad's razor, dad. ay watch it! it's from gillettelabs. this green bar releases trapped hairs from my face... gamechanga! ...while the flexdisc contours to it. so the five blades can get virtually every hair in one stroke. for the ultimate gillette shaving experience. the best a man can get is gillettelabs.

[♪♪] >> announcer: five more words. >> greg: reporters were just following orders. >> i mean, politic oshgs did not do itself any favours. i was covering biden and saying,

we need to write about the hunter biden laptop, and i was told, this came from on high, don't write about the laptop, talk about it, tweet about it. in 2019, a rival presidential democratic campaign of joe biden's gave to me the tax lien on hunter biden for the period of time he wrote at berima. that story was killed by the editors. >> greg: now they find their integrity. now they talk about it. they could have shared the risk with other reporters and defended the new york post over the laptop story, but they didn't. >> mmhmm. it's giving -- you know what it's giving, it's giving when the girl's boyfriend breaks up with her, and finally you get to hear the stuff she has been hiding about him the whole time they were together. you never liked him, he didn't come to your birthday, he wasn't sick, i thought you were annoying, he didn't like you. he actually didn't buy me

anything, i had to pay for every trip and i found out he was spending money on onlyfans. you find out the truth once they separate. it's a human thing. it's annoying, all of this have known this the entire time. >> greg: yes. >> and you would get called out as being crazy, oh, you're so right -- you're right wing extremists for noticing the fact that all of these stories are slanted one way. >> greg: in hmm. >> all the things that other people are covering, you're not covering. it makes you an observer to have noticed this was the case. >> greg: mmhmm. >> but that's -- he's having that little moment of, like, the gals -- the gals at brunch moment. and that's what he's having right now. i guess better late than never, but anybody who has been paying attention, we knew this already. >> greg: exactly. [applause]. >> greg: he says, the orders came from up high on politico. how high -- >> the highest mountain.

the lord himself. [laughter] >> said through jebidiah down the oil. >> greg: it's a [bleep] website. >> he didn't want to risk losing his job. this is this stupid thing, genius, if you went to x, went and told your story, you would have been on a certain network probably every night for a long time. and probably would have been asked to do guest speaking and you would have made money and probably would be sitting next to trace gallagher at 11:00, as a man who is a true journalist. you didn't do that. you kept the little secret, little babies all tight inside. >> greg: they're talking about this now that they no longer have skin in the game, you know. you -- it's not called sharing the risk when there is no risk. that's what pisses me off. >> right. but the fact that they're acting

like this is some great confessional that they're having is proof that you can't smell your own bo. >> greg: yeah. >> proof that you can't smell the poo on your shoe. >> greg: oh, i can. >> because they're doomed to do it again. >> greg: mmhmm. >> for a job with -- at a title and to be accepted by those odious boot lickers who inhabit the washington dc press core. they would do it all over again, we would ignore you the same way we have ignored you before, and now and in the future, you jackass. >> greg: yeah. [cheering]. >> greg: lou, i maintain that the person that this came from the white house to politico. i can't believe -- i worked in magazines, you got to give me a reason why i can't write this. it came from something else.

which makes this story even more, like, worthy of investigation. >> well, also, i think if they're being honest, they should realize that they played a big role, basically, in the campaign. they wanted joe biden to be president. >> greg: yeah. >> and now they get to use this excuse, looking back, like, oh, yeah, my editor, he said -- my editor said, don't talk about the laptop, don't tweet about the laptop, don't take your laptop out and write on your laptop what's going on and deliver that to get out there. look, you wanted your man to win, you did what you could, you were part of the team, now looking back, and there is regrets. >> greg: it was not my fault. they told me to do it. that's not good enough. >> driving me crazy, greg. these are dei appointees that you can't outsmart? like, what if we wrote it in past tense? >> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> you know what i'm saying. you could have tricked them.

>> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> greg: all right, up next, time to cut the tag on taxpayer swag. [applause snooiment it's time to get b out there with fasenra. ] that is taken once every 8 weeks and can also be taken conveniently at home. fasenra helps prevent asthma attacks. most patients did not have an attack in the first year. fasenra is proven to help you breathe better so you can get back to doing day-to-day activities. fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems. serious allergic reactions may occur. get help for swelling of your face, mouth, tongue, or trouble breathing. don't stop asthma treatments without talking with your doctor. tell your doctor if your asthma worsens or you have a parasitic infection. headache and sore throat may occur. get back to better breathing. get back to what you've missed. ask your doctor about fasenra, the only asthma treatment taken once

every 8 weeks. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. (♪)

is a bitcoin etf the same as owning bitcoin directly? while bitcoin etfs might offer a familiar face, they lack the true ownership and flexibility of directly investing in bitcoin. with itrustcapital you can buy and sell real bitcoin 24/ 7 with the tax advantages of an ira. real bitcoin means no middleman, no restricted stock market hours. choose the path of direct bitcoin investment with itrustcapital because access equals opportunity. invest in bitcoin at itrustcapital.com today. there are some feelings you can get with any sportsbook. ohhh! the highs! no, no, no.

the no, no, noooos - oooooooo! the oh, oh, ohhhhs! now whatcha wanna do with this? but the feeling that, no matter what, you're taken care of. ohhh, i just earned a hotel suite! hee! you only get that here. at the sportsbook born in vegas, where they know how to treat you right. who you talking to jamie foxx? bonus bets. exclusive offers. real world rewards. betmgm. download and bet today.

[♪♪] >> what the [bleep] [horn]. >> greg: tonight on wtf, billions in taxes for candy and comic books. tyrus is targeting promotional items used the advertise federal agencies, these are like colouring books, comic books, shirts, hats, mascots, candy, and toys, it costs taxpayers $2 billion a year for this government swag. could this be the actual best stuff they're spending money on? [laughter] >> i think if i was a dei hire, i'd be really upset they're taking away our jobs, toys,

literature. i need my comic book on how the federal government works. yeah, this needs to go. >> greg: yeah. >> this is ridiculous. but when people hear this stuff, you're starting to see the same expression, no matter what walk of -- you sit there and they go -- >> yeah. >> no. like, yeah, and it's only, like, day 3. >> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> like, we haven't even got into the mix. we haven't found out how much lunch costs for the little darlings. >> greg: that's true. >> you know what i'm saying? their vamouse lattes, vegan salads, i got a crazy feeling that costs, like, 4 trillion. i feel like the more we see this, we actually might get a tax -- we might actually see the bill clinton -- we got extras sending it back. >> greg: yeah. >> because if you're just

finding out that candy is overpriced, i can't wait until we get to staplers and pens and stuff. >> greg: you know who is exempt from this is smokey the bear. after what happened in la -- [laughter] >> greg: -- i mean, shouldn't he be fired? how much money can we save if we told smokey the bear to hit the road? >> yes. all of the mascots. >> greg: yeah. >> these people are kitty terrorists. >> greg: yes! >> they're frightening children. that's all mascots do. >> greg: mmhmm. >> like, so -- and also woodsy is owl is exempt. what is this vinvasive. it's a department of agriculture mascot used to alert the public about the scourge of pests and vines. there are all these mascots. it's like a bunch of cheeses, meant to terrorize kids.

>> rapists. >> greg: cricket rapist tonight starting at 9d, starring don mot. basically this is propaganda. the government puts out propaganda, they did stuff on the theory of covid, we're paying for the propaganda used on us. >> and, i mean, with mascots, they look like dei mascots, there is no way anybody would come up with these ideas. you brought up the one character who has monkey pox. [laughter] >> you have outliny, sky worn, and sanctuary sam who are obviously in a gay relationship. [laughter] >> greg: i don't know how. because wasn't of them is a cartoon owl, the other is a sea lion but they're making it work. >> greg: the owl better be on top, that's all i'm saying. >> well, smokey the bear should

sue. they made him work topless for decades. [laughter] [applause]. >> greg: yep. objectified by a lot of park rangers. that's for sure. hey, baby, where you going? >> you got time for pants, but not a blouse. >> kat, last word to you. this must make your blood boil. >> first of all, it's an merch guy. it's like an merch guy for the government that we're paying. >> greg: mmhmm. >> you're not the most cretive or best if you're working for the government. you have an ability the take our money, and then you're using it to then make some sort of merch or promotional materials to convince us it's a good idea you took our money. shut it down. shut all of it down. [cheering and applause] >> greg: all right, up next, viewer mail.

wedding photos, and it was even affecting my health. i trusted you because you specialize in dental implants. you created a permanent solution and customized my teeth so it still felt like me. my new teeth have improved my life and changed my future. - thank you. - you're so welcome. finance the smile you want for as low as one forty eight a month per arch. schedule a free consultation.

[♪♪] >> greg: yep, you're watching mailing it in. >> greg: first question from danielle. if you could sign an executive order, choose your executive order, what would it be, dagon.

>> well, seriously renaming fort bragg, fort bragg. >> greg: what is it called now? >> fort liberty or something [bleep] like that. renaming washington dc the commode. just naming it that. >> greg: fort bragg is so great, they should change the name to fort not to bragg. lou, what do you say? >> i would -- i would make an executive order to say you're not allowed to claim you can't lose weight unless you're able to show us everything that you've eaten for a week. [laughter] [applause]. >> greg: that would be hard to enforce. >> it would be. >> greg: but it would be fun to enforce. i know, kat, executive order. >> it's tough. like, i'd want to probably just shut a bunch of things down. >> greg: yeah. >> probably make it -- i don't know. like, if -- do i have values in this situation or am i being

completely self-serving? >> greg: i would say self-serving. >> yeah, i don't know. >> greg: for a change of pace. >> i would preemptively. for that, i'd make it illegal for you to talk [bleep] to me. [laughter] >> greg: that is not libertarian. >> you just said -- yeah. >> katatarian. >> the first thing you want to say is term limits. [applause]. >> but i'm not really thinking about y'all right now. i would like to have an executive order that says that i -- if i feel justified, that i can punch somebody in the face. like, i have a very good reason. like, i have a very good reason. there is no reason to call the law. >> greg: mmhmm. >> he clearly earned it. >> greg: yeah. >> you know, it was the third big joke of the night. i punched him. that's it. >> greg: you know, i was thinking, you know, after the inauguration and everything, why

is our nation's capitol the worst city in the country? my executive order would be to move the capitol or re -- or redesignate the capitol to a city that we like. like milpedas california, or scarsdale. >> cincinnati. >> greg: yonkers. actually some place in hawaii. that way, when fox has to do the inauguration, we all have to do to hawaii. >> you all get lei'ed. >> greg: this is a similar question. this is like musk. if you had musk's ear. what large scale idea of yours do you know would be a huge success, if only elon musk would finance it. so you're in an elevator with elon musk, you have this amazing idea, what would it be, lou? >> um, um, um, i'm -- finance

me. just give me money. i think something with constitutional carry. that's out of nowhere. i think arming people would go well. >> greg: you know what, for him, he would go, what about a chip that is in your body that turns into a gun. >> mmhmm. >> greg: so there is no choice. there is no choice. >> super cool. super cool. >> greg: and they can't arrest you because it's in your body. >> how about a fart machine. >> greg: an internal gun, kat. >> doesn't he love getting people pregnant? >> i loves it more than anything. >> i'm like, look, i'm repopulating the earth, can i have $3 million, he would probably say, good job, here you go. >> greg: that's an interesting way. asking for $3 million. >> that's nothing. that's like someone asking me for a dollar.

>> greg: yes, that's true. >> i would ask for his sperm and then sell it. >> i think he gives it away for free. [laughter] >> good point. >> greg: big large scale idea. >> i would ask for funding after my executive order runs out so i could punch people >> look at how many people i got pregnant, can i have $3 million. >> he'd be like, oh, you need to pick it up a pace. >> that was my big idea. rocket shoes. rocket shoes. >> greg: oh, rocket shoes. >> you winch. >> greg: interesting, all right, we got to move on. don't go away, we'll be right back. [♪♪] so it smells first-day fresh for 50 days. 50 days!? and its refill reminder light means i'll never miss a day of freshness. ♪ introducing new eroxon gel, the first fda-cleared ed treatment available without a prescription.

eroxon gel is clinically proven to work within ten minutes, so you and your partner can experience the heights of intimacy. new eroxon ed treatment gel. narrator: for generations, this ally to the north has been by your side. ontario, canada, a partner connected by shared history, shared values, and a shared vision for what we can achieve together. stable and secure, when the world around us isn't. you can rely on ontario for energy to power your growing economy and for the critical minerals crucial to new technologies. ontario is your third-largest trading partner and the number one export destination for 17 states. our long-standing economic partnership keeps millions of americans working. in a changing world, it's time to bring jobs back home and build together. more workers, more trade, more prosperity, more security. for generations, this ally to the north has been here.

and for generations more, we'll still be here. right by your side. [title: ontario, canada] [title: ontario.ca/partner] [title: paid for by the government of ontario]

[cheering and applause] >> greg: out of time. dagen mcdowell, lou perez, kat timpf, tyrus, fox news you audience. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america. good evening, kevin corke in for trace gallagher, 11:00 on the east coast, 8:00 in