tv The Five FOX News February 12, 2025 9:00pm-10:00pm PST
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>> i'm greg gutfeld with., judge jeanine pirro, harold ford junior, jesse watters, and dana perino who what's will went sledding in a snow globe. 5:00 in new york city and this is the five.gett democrats get their in a twist at the first-ever sub committee hearing for doge trying to reint in limestone paperworkem mines r retirees. >> he used the propaganda machine to uses us it when theyd they sent millions of dollars to gaza for for condoms. we don't work for an unelected billionaire like this guy does. >> green literally showed a dick picture to her oversight hearing so i thought i would bring one right now. this is elon musk leading a
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power grab also abided by and encouraged by donald trump.. they want to look into your kids lunch money about helpingit elon musk and trum ip be as efficient as possible in robbinn the government.at it could've been worst at least said and burst into song. >> which side are we on we willf fight againsigt doge. we will fight elon musk we will fight from dawn to dusk.ch which side are you on, thee. losing side.fere and they took a different approach lamenting how doge beat them to the punch. >> at that younges peoplsae and gen z they like what he's doing. and we note the bureaucracy can be bloated we tried towh reorganize the government and
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try efficiency. >> some of it is annoying because of stuff we should have done.e working for the stages of grief and happening moments agoid president trump defended musk from the constant tack attacks from the left. >> elon musk has dont e a fantastic job he's abused by you people every day but he's found more things than anybody couldin find i think he has credibilityt to do it i know he does. >> jesse they gutfeld erie of public sending singing you knowa you've runve out of ideas if you feel compelled to burst into: wh song. >> when singing your losing. they look like code pink with better clothes using the information as is there is no victims they are pointing to it where arare the children going hungry. e veterans who can't get aid at the va there is none.ama and obama did try to figure this out but failed.
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we havede a retirement paperwork cave where hundreds of people working for the government and writing things out in longhand if you try to computerize it so they hired more people to workpl in the cave it's the stupideste thing of ever seen in my life. musk is working for trump. trump hired the world's richesth man. that is esta flax.we that's what you call a power movement he's working for free.i it's likkee a good cop/bad cop. musk is firing people andeopl cutting spending and trump is at the super bowl and bringingat's hostages home. only will do this for like a year and a half. it's like this show. greg gutfeld is musk he's bad cop he winds he complains he kind of makes moves and get things done for the rest of us while i sit back and look good. that's what is going on right now.t'
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>> dana this cave thing is insane. you know we didn't know aboutt this. and with many reports over the years in 2014 and that's wherear the "pod save america" guys and bumping up against priority there.ee a and they file all the young people do this in 10 minutes. when the democrats were singing i thought about the judge and the democrats can't prosecute their case and i would say get it together.
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and it's not like i'm going to call a mistrial the doing three things wrong and why do they want to lose more those young a peoplels. w they're rallying behinord unpopular government workers whe dedicated their lives and their career. and their of people beenta coasting on taxpayer dollars and not a lot of sympathy there. they are dying on the dumbest hills., sa defending the consumer financial protection bureau saying it wasa about consumers. that it's outrageous and there's a constitutional crisis. and saying they're talking about the equal rights amendment. it's discoverable in that case. and doesn't matter.
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saying that's a trillion a yearm from theen entitlement program abuse. it seemed likea a high ground r the republicans what are they going to do?e >> it's absurd and makes nose sense. i wore a waste but they are having a breakdown over the thing. of the biggest argument is that elon musk is unelected.cu tinobody else in the executive branch is elected only the com president. why don't you complain about other people at least theov government isn't paying him the guy is working for free.ee, nobody else is elected and theat crazy part about it the guy you were talking about. and 20% of the government expenditures in the private
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sector with 3% waste and fraud. with what musk was talking about the images of people objecting to. and owning and having tens ofll millions of dollarios when they serving congress. clearly at something off your and it's pretty good that's what the american people wanted and it's a time when you go it's not constitutional.ns and it'sti known as a purse fora reason and it u.s. aid was founded under executive order. and nobody lost their ability to get fired up.
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guessing it's just a couple of things and i support what elon musk is doing and finding things and having a couple hundred thousand and talking about people in the executive branch and talking about congress pointing people who had nothing and left with tens ofte millions. and so weak. and rounds of harold ford.usk >> mr. musk has every right to do what he is doing. and others had to take the confirmation hearing and io believe they will hold into it and at the end of the day what e they really wanted to do is
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figure out ways and moving forward. and the department of education they're frustrated and some republicans going around the table and the president of the united states as joe biden disappeared from the states and officially running things and now zeroing out the salaries of people in department andng, agency's not working. you can't go back into it the way you are doing it something like marbury versus madison. with the courts and judges having the absolute right to determine the constitutionality of laws and statutes.wa nobody said thrde president couldn't go forward and zero these things out. democrats have been clumsy i
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don't know why sing please stop singing just say you oppose t say you oppose it and these are the reasons we oppose it. i differ wit itmocr. y he can't go backwards or retrospectively try to do this. finally, to mr. musk, i've got a lot of thoughts, we've got a couple more segments here. if we are going to find ways in which to balance the budget, let's look for some big items. denying nutrition programs for people in rural america, that is not big. trying to cancel or minimize alzheimer's and cancer research, come on, give me a break. and finally, where a blazer when you go into the white house and the oval office. i'm a big believer, i told john fetterman to put a suit on when you go to the floor, put a suit coat on when you are going to dictate and educate how to reform our government and reduce spending. something i think you are largely right on. >> greg: all right, you know, harold, have to take umbrage with the whole moving forward thing. if somebody commits a crime and
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somebody tells you you should move forward, you have to look backward if a crime was committed. you have to look and see. saying you are going to move forward basically absolves people of the horrible -- >> harold: absolving himself, he was president five years ago. all i'm saying is zero it out. what they are trying to do is unconstitutional. no one more on the table wants to admit it but they can't go backwards and say take the funding away. it was signed into law peered the reason the law is the law is because congress passed it, the president signed it, and it has the added advantage of having the supreme court of the united states ratify it as a law, that is all i'm saying. >> greg: but you know what, let's agree to disagree. you got me. >> judge jeanine: basically what you are saying, just let them keep paying all these people until next year. i don't think that works. >> harold: how can you do it otherwise? what is the law, judge. tell me how you do it. >> judge jeanine: the department of education was created by an executive order by jimmy carter. and you know what, donald trump wants to destroy it by executive order, he should be able to do
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the same thing, so let's not act like this is just something that is only, only capable of being done by cameras. >> greg: in your face. >> judge jeanine: that is fraud and corruption. i have to look the other way -- >> harold: you correct it. >> judge jeanine: getting kicked bats. i prosecute it and i stop it. >> harold: that's exactly what he should do. >> judge jeanine: what he is doing right now. >> harold: you can't -- >> judge jeanine: i want my money. >> harold: these are just facts. >> greg: it started by executive order, ended by executive order peered. >> harold: but funded by congress. >> greg: don't attack him with facts. [laughter] coming up, dems trying to pin the nightmare of bite inflation on president trump. ♪ ♪ look at 'em, streaming directv without a satellite dish — just livin' it up! did you see how fast that guy found the game — he hardly struggled at all! you know, every day is a struggle for us pigeons... meanwhile, he's flipping through channels
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those same desperate even though he was barely in office. >> if there's one mandate donald trump had, it was to fight inflation on day one. americans woke up this morning to bad news for their bank accounts. they woke up to a grim reality that donald trump is not going to keep his promise to lower costs. they woke up. americans woke up to an era of trump inflation. and unfortunately, this is only the beginning. >> and here's something you never believe joe rogan and joy behar are in agreement. the
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podcast superstar and co-host of the view both say democrats are veering off their path to redemption. >> they're not course correcting at all. you know, they're saying stupid. it's all nonsense. like their understanding of social media and the dynamics that you set up by having completely state controlled mainstream media, where they only said the narratives that you guys wanted, they all said it in step. >> remember when trump used to call in constantly he was on this show? that is what they should be doing every time. they should be ambushing the airwaves, the democrats. get off your butts and start doing it. >> okay. you know, the liberal left. jesse is really having a hard time dealing with donald trump and all the successes in the 22 days that he's been in office. and so they are saying right now that we've got to stop trump, we've got to slow him down. we've got to call in
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and make sure people don't hear him. >> when i met emma's parents for the first time, i was at the beach and i was in a bathing suit, and so were they. and i think it's the best way to meet someone because it strips you down of all of your bs. they didn't see what cara was wearing or driving. they didn't see, you know, what clothes i was wearing? this is the democratic party. they are naked. they have nothing. this is who they are. they don't have the media. they don't have special counsels. they don't have big tech to censor you. all of their traditional weapons are gone. what you see is what you get and what you're seeing are people just singing and swearing. they are unpersuasive. these are the kind of people that you see on a college campus, an activist who never matured and they never had to mature because they had all these things in their corners that allowed them
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to cheat and mobilize and cancel you and censor you and bully you. and that is gone. so this is the stripped down version of a true modern day democrat, and it's embarrassing. and greg made the point. no one wants to have a beer with people like this. >> and, you know, dana, they still haven't come to grips with why they lost. and hakeem jeffries actually came out and said, we've got to find some common ground with them. >> well, and i think if they continue to listen to people like joy behar, they will stay in the doldrums. what something that came out today is that the democrats are mad at their outside groups because the outside groups are agitating them, and they're saying, but there's nothing we can actually do. we have no power. we have no seats. we have no special counsels, we have nothing. we've lost everything. and then you can't fix a mess like that by just flooding the airwaves. because what are you going to say? all they're doing is cursing and singing and they're
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not persuading anybody. it's like if you were in, it's like you were the chiefs in the super bowl. >> oh, boy. >> oh, here we go. this is i'm doing this fresh out of my head. >> and welcome to. >> my world andy reid. yeah in the locker room said just you know just do do better. and that was the only direction. and they didn't give them a new game plan. then they were going to lose, but they lost anyway. but they still made 22 points in the end. i don't know i don't know where i was going with that exactly. i should never try. well, i should ask permission. but the other thing is, for example, today on the new york times daily podcast, they talked about the constitutional crisis that's happening. and what they do, though, is they throw their hands in the air and they say, well, i guess no one cares because nobody's as smart as we are. >> yeah. >> well, and they don't look in the mirror and touch some grass and figure out what's really going on. >> can you tell us if they're smart, greg? >> you know what this is? this isn't left or right anymore. it's before and after. there's
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no way they can go back. the old concept of how to defeat trump is 2023. it's not trump they need to defeat. it's themselves. you know, when you go to a shrink with a problem, you know, my wife drives me nuts. the shrink isn't going to say, well, let me talk to her. i'll straighten her out. no, the shrink says to you, okay, we need to we need to address your behavior so you can react differently to these stresses. and maybe that will help solve the problems. they haven't yet gotten to that point, but they have to reconcile that there's no way to go back. i mean, i think america is learning, and i think it's through doge, especially through the transparency and educating themselves that all that crap that we went through from, you know, during the biden years and stuff, it didn't have to be trans soros open border managed decline of a country. we were told that that's how it was going to be and you were going to love it. you were going to love. this is just how it is,
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you know? and now it's like trump comes in and goes, no, in fact, we can get rid of this. we can stop that. we can do this. things are going to get better. you're going to feel better. everything's going to be great. and people are going like, i ain't going back. there's no way you can go back after this. so the dems, i think, are pining for a dead lover, you know, but go, just go to the cemetery, lay some flowers. your best bet is to move on, see the world for what it is. and it's not what the media told you it was. part of this responsibility is on the media. who told him the world was totally different? >> dead lover. harold? >> yeah. >> and that's a tough one. the i'd say a couple of things. first, what, dana, your analogy was spot on and what i think you wanted to say after you said do better, that means just keep doing the same thing you're doing, but try to do it better. that's what democrats are doing, and it's ineffective. the campaigning that we did during the last election, it didn't work. the strategy didn't work because the message, the substance wasn't there. you have to develop new substance. now,
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president trump, unfortunately, today i say unfortunately because i didn't want the inflation numbers to come out like they did. i was hoping for inflation to be going down, not up, which it is. president trump immediately blamed president biden. i don't understand that, but it's where it is. i didn't want that. so democrats, a message is needed. why not develop a tax plan that democrats support that maybe has no tax on tips, has better tax treatment for middle class america, better tax treatment for main street businesses in the country, as opposed to singing outside of the capitol. why not do this in a rural area, in an urban area across the country on border security? it is interesting, as we sit here tonight, republicans in the house and republicans in the senate are in disagreement over what mr. homan wants and the president wants for border security money. they want 175 or $180 billion. lindsey graham wants to give it to him, but speaker johnson can't get the votes in the house. highlight these differences as opposed to the nonsense that you're talking about and judge your
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lead in should be the thing that democrats, if you're a coach and you have them in the locker room, you put up on the wall, joe rogan, joy behar, they are in agreement. why the heck can't we get an agreement on something to make the country better and stronger and make the middle class realize that we have a voice, not only a serious voice, but we have answers to their problems. >> that was wonderful. >> thank you. >> thank you, your honor. >> up next, the dealmaker in chief trump bringing americans home. and he's ready to end the war in ukraine. >> we were jesus saved me. blue jean baby born in the usa. trailer park truck stop. fade a little more. >> remove imovie. >> and doug. >> you'll be back. emus can help people customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual. you're just a flightless bird. no. >> he's a dreamer, frank.
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ended, also. we ultimately expect to meet. we expect he will come here and i will go there and we will meet also probably in saudi arabia. >> dana: the dealmaker is putting his skills to the test. president trump sounding off on a phone call he had with russian president vladimir putin and started negotiations immediately to end the war in ukraine and that comes as a second american is heading home amongst three detainees released from belarus. the indicted tea of the hostage has not been released, we will let you know what we get it. less than 24 hours after trump's team secured the release of marc fogel. he was an american teacher detained in russia since 2021, and in an emotional moment, fogel literally kissing the u.s. oil on his return to the good old u.s. of a. jesse, he was not returned, even though six months before brittney griner, he took medical marijuana into the country. that was allowed, and the russians were looking for
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someone to go after on this. they knew he was going to be on the plane. they knew he was likely going to have medical marijuana because he had taught at the school for a long time. that was six months before brittney griner. when she came home, the administration, we look back, sorry, we don't have any more details on that, refer you to the state department. >> jesse: yeah, so they both had grass, she came home and he didn't and everybody knows why. biden thought that would help him politically and it didn't, at all. and so trump is despite what people say about him a true humanitarian pier he places such a priority on human life. you got the gaza hostages, the russia hostages, the venezuelan hostages. almost immediately. remember what we did with otto warmbier. it is also the mah a movement. it is also fighting fentanyl. all of these things are about cherishing and saving human lives. and he doesn't get a lot of
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credit for that and he is not going to get enough credit for ending the ukraine war and not going to get enough credit for hopefully resolving things in the middle east, but if you look back on both terms, at the end of the second one, he will be probably viewed as one of the more humanitarian-minded presidents we have had. >> dana: one of the things, judge, that was really lovely about this story is fogel's mother in her mid-90s, met with president trump in butler, pennsylvania, just minutes before trump was shot and she said if you win, will you bring my son home? he said yes, i will. she is in her mid-90s. time is of the essence. and they were finally able to be reunited. >> judge jeanine: he said -- her daughter said, i believe come on fox, president trump promised my mother he would bring my brother back, and i was listening to that and i was saying, that is who president trump is. you know, he is, as you said, jesse, humanitarian pier he is
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caring. this whole thing, dana, is infuriating to me because i say to myself, 21 days this man is president. we've got six prisoners from venezuela. we've got countries taking back prisoners, biden said they won't take them back, i don't know what to do. the war is going to end in ukraine and russia. i mean, now putin is throwing in these prisoners -- and by the way, the exchange for marc fogel, you know, was a crypto hacker. the exchange for brittney griner was an arms dealer, terrorist-related charges, and the whole thing is just so bizarre. but it is infuriating that joe biden didn't even do wellness checks on american prisoners and hostages. and donald trump comes in in 21 days, and he is killing it because he cares. when you think about it, that is why joe biden joe biden got elected, everyone said he was the compassionate guy, didn't give a damn, didn't put any
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effort into it and now we are seeing what a real president and a real caring man would do. >> dana: what do you think about the comparison, harold, because it is impossible to look at this and say president trump has been in office for not quite four weeks and all of these things has happened, especially the things that matter the most, our people are being held wrongfully, we should get them back, and this is pretty remarkable. >> harold: it is. any time in american comes home from being held hostage in a communist nation or for that matter any hostile territory, i just celebrate it. i think even looking, the equivalency of who might have been traded for home, i am glad he is home. the crypto hacker was a money laundering, too, but i am not complaining, i'm glad this guy is home, i don't know why he didn't get home sooner, was there politics involved, jesse, there may have been. i am one that sits back and says whenever an american comes home,
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congratulations. mr. fogel also give a lot of credit to steve witkoff, who apparently i knew a little about before i learned about him publicly here, a little about his business ventures, this guy has become a pretty good diplomat and reminds me in many ways of summer i hold in high regard, the late bill richardson who i served with in congress who was able get hostages released. to listen to mr. fogel last night praising the president and mr. griner , mr. witkoff. >> dana: a prison in japan for months even after that is our greatest ally as the young man from the state department to remind me, and i will never forget that phone call. that is why i am saying, president trump is getting these guys back from our adversaries. biden wasn't even able to get them back from our allies. >> greg: he is a nonbinary woman of color. don't you know any better, dana? by the way, to piggyback on what the judge said, it seems so
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easy, and a lot of these things seem way easier than we were told. it's like when you compare the biden administration to the trump administration, when i leave work and i am pushing the door to leave and i can't get out and then the security guy goes just have to pull it open. and it feels like that peered all trump is doing, you just have to pull the door open. joe, you have been pushing the door, pull it open. i think the legacy news needs help with this story. go on cnn's home page, msnbc's home page, this story isn't anywhere. >> dana: really? >> greg: there was a book called "i hate myself" with joe scarborough holding it up which was amazing. they need to figure out how to spin trump freeing another hostage from russia as a threat to democracy. so this is for joy reid. i think she will do this. isn't it interesting that this happens within hours of tulsi gabbard getting confirmed? quid pro quo, which is latin for
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calamari, i think. doesn't it make sense? i mean, tulsi is in, and marc fogel is out. and he is white. talked about white prisoner privilege. what do you say? >> jesse: that's good. >> greg: i think i could take over msnbc. but i don't want to. i've got a lot of work here peered. >> dana: don't leave. don't pull that door, or push that door. up next, along with the biden water rules, president trump bringing back those hard-hitting, high-pressure showers. ♪ ♪ join thousands of advertisers who have built their businesses, reaching america's most influential audience. need creative? we can help. fox news media impact starts here. advertise with us today. dexcom g7 sends your glucose numbers to your phone and watch,
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president trump is flushing joe biden's weepy water rules down the drain and cranking the showers back to full blast. looks like greg's roommate larry kudlow is thrilled. >> welcome to the show, i hope you look forward to one of these great pounding trump showers again. >> i do, larry, thanks for having me on. >> jesse: so jeanine are you looking forward to the pounding of the trump shower? >> judge jeanine: i'm not even going to answer that. i'm going to go right for the stove. i can't wait -- actually, have a gas stove, even if he said i had to get an electric i wouldn't get it. they are rolling back the regulations. i like incandescent light bulbs, okay? i like them. i think they are very soft mood to a room and i like my gas stove. eat good food at my house and you will agree peered. >> jesse: harold, these incandescent lightbulbs, they do make you look sexier. it is objective peered when you get out of the shower which gives you a pounding and then
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these sexy bulbs, what kind of changes in the herald for famil? >> harold: very clear, i love showers that throw out a lot of water. i love a shower that does a lot of water. i like a toilet that actually flushes. there is nothing worse than flushing a toilet that looks like it's going to flush and then it gets going and then maybe it goes down. i need a toilet to flush. >> judge jeanine: have a dog. >> harold: thank you mr. president on this one. >> jesse: like that feeling when you don't know if it is going to flush, dana, and then you are at someone else's house. >> dana: then you have to wait. [laughter] the shower rules actually turned me into a criminal. so we had a house in south carolina. we don't have it anymore so i don't know what the statute of limitations is on the breaking of the law, but it almost caused a divorce because we've built this beautiful new home. go to take a shower.
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i had to dance around to try to get wet, and if you are going to try to get champ to an conditioner out of longhair, it takes a lot, and i was like, i am freezing in the shower because there's not a lot of water. regulations only say this much water pressure. i was furious, and of course who do i blame? >> jesse: peter. >> dana: exactly. peter has to call the contractor and the contractor came and gave us a little tip on how you could circumvent -- >> judge jeanine: how? >> dana: a little tool you put in there and then the water would flow normally, but it was against the law and i am not proud of it. but i would do it again. >> jesse: judge, let us know about the statute of limitations. >> judge jeanine: it has already passed, this is a minor crime. >> jesse: we might run out of water but at least we're going to look good. >> greg: this segment and the fact we have something to say something about it tells you whs
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winning peered we have all had the displeasure of using a paper straw. but you know what we haven't done. we haven't participated in a drag show. we haven't committed racist acts against minorities. we haven't run into recidivist criminals with a heart of gold. trump lives in th the real worle all live and breathe in. the dems live in the abstract realm of the rare exception. than the use the rare exception, the recidivist with a heart of gold, to justify heinous laws than ever end up ruining our lives peered straws, kitchen sinks, dishwashers, that is our world. for liberals when they hear dishwasher, they think mexican. [laughter] >> jesse: oh, boy appeared. >> judge jeanine: keep it moving. >> jesse: you're in my laying, greg peered. >> dana: next time you should turn signal. >> jesse: "the fastest" is up next. ♪ ♪
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less critical thinking skills, basically it tricks our brains. jesse, when you heard about this story, read this story, is it something you agreed with? >> jesse: it is something i worry about because i don't have any brain cells left, harold. i know that cars made us fatter and i know that google maps made me get lost if i don't have one, so this is obviously the answer. we are going to get more stupid or stupider. i think it is already happening because i have been using ai and i like it. you can just say stuff or ask them things are tight in a question and you don't have to scroll around, it gives you a little ai thing on google. and it is right click 80% of the time. >> greg: that's all you need. >> jesse: in this job? [laughter] >> harold: i think he is onto something, a laziness skill, too much of a reliance, without question, the technology is
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transformational but is it transformational in the sense it will make us worse? >> dana: one thing to stave off alzheimer's is keep your brain active and do puzzles and things like that. my brain is afte atrophying. i think it is inevitable ai is coming. you don't even realize, thank you for correcting the spelling, and then you get -- >> jesse: spell check. >> dana: you don't have to ask it to spell check, it is doing it for you automatically. >> harold: but greg, the opposite argument is you have to be a critical thinker to ask serious and smart questions, so the smarter question you may ask of chatgpt, the more creative thinking answer you may get peered what do you think? >> greg: that is stupid, harold. when the automobile replace the horse, we all lost our horseback riding skills and got dumber and it came to navigating the carriage through this thick brush, but we didn't need to do
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that anymore. i do agree. you just have to be smarter on your search terms. what you are going to be doing is building a different skill you didn't have before. it really also is about the design of a product. the design of a product can make you smarter. the universal remote makes you dumber for example, makes me feel stupid. i know. >> harold: when you were a judge, programs you initiated that were compassionate to people peered one thing about ai, does it each compassion and kindness? i am equally as concerned -- >> judge jeanine: i don't know how to use ai, going to talk to jesse after the show, all i know is the more you get answers from someone else, the less you exercise your brain, as dana was referencing. you don't have the critical thinking skills. with my calves, if i don't exercise, they atrophy and the same thing happens with your
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mind and that is the end of it. >> harold: kindness, compassion, being more creative and critical, hopefully figure out a way to help us do that. you know why? because "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ baby: liberty! mom: liberty mutual is all she talks about since we saved hundreds by bundling our home and auto insurance. baby: liberty! biberty: hey kid, it's pronounced "biberty." baby: liberty! biberty: biberty! baby: liberty! biberty: biberty! baby: liberty! biberty: bi-be-rty! baby: biberty! biberty: and now she's mocking me. very mature. mom: hey, that's enough you two! biberty: hey, i'm not the one acting like a total baby. mom: she's two. only pay for what you need ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ baby: liberty. 7 million us businesses businesses rely on tiktok to compete. >> within a week of posting, i had over $25,000 in sales. >> i don't have $1 million to put towards marketing and branding. tiktok was the way
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dermatologist about rinvoq. >> learn how abbvie can help you save. >> jaina. >> greg, i have finally arrived. oh, nice to see the dog show last night. >> you think of dogs pointing and retrieving. they also use their nose and. >> fox news dana perino very popular as a vizsla owner. >> oh. yeah. >> honestly, i will. i need to do nothing else for the rest of my life i have arrived. thank you. fox sports and the vistula got robbed again. >> well done. dana. all right. tonight, the show that was supposed to air last night. tonight? oh, it's a good one. jamie lasalle, joe mackey, kat timpf. tyrus. that's tonight. let's do this. greg's jesse watters news. big news in the
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jesse watters world. let's go to the memphis zoo, where they're offering a unique valentine's day greeting where you can name a turd after a turd. so you can actually get an elephant's excrement. and it can be named after somebody that you don't like. an ex, an overbearing mother in law. you just go to the memphis zoo dating or dumping series and you'll find it there. >> this isn't a new series you're doing right. >> i just thought of it today. it depends on audience response. maybe. >> i don't know. memphis zoo too. that's good. >> yeah. it's no in-your-face harold pop star ed sheeran is on tour in india. thought it'd be a good idea to get a traditional indian head massage. did that? didn't really go very well. it's called champy. it's said to promote hair growth, scalp health, cognitive function, and restful sleep. the massage therapist, meanwhile, said he had no idea who ed sheeran was. >> you know, he was blond before that. >> and tonight on jesse watters, prime time inside the government's retirement paperwork cave.
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>> judge okay, it's time for. okay, this is not joe, not your average pair of pants. restaurant chain qdoba entered the fashion industry this week, debuting their new chip court pants. the custom garments are designed with built in components to hold qdoba's signature crispy tortilla chip tortilla chips, giving fashionistas easy, if hard to miss access for snacking. okay. >> there you go. got your sack out there, harold. >> 87 year old, 87 year old californian. got like you. he rolled a perfect bowling. 12 strikes in a row, 300 diagnosed with cancer. this is several years ago. he had to stop playing as much. now he's playing again. in your face. cancer. he got 300. >> that's right. and you know what, harold? we still have time to spare. oh. >> welcome to jesse watters. prime time tonight.
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