♪ ♪ >> before we go hope you are able to check out my podcast jason in the house type in jason in the house wherever you listen to podcasts. this week's guest is peter doocy. sean will be back on monday with an exclusive new interview coming up next week in the white house with president trump and elon musk. you will want to see that as always thank you for joining us an honor to be here gutfeld is next have a great night and happy valentine's day. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: all right. thank you. thank you! thank you thank you. happy vg. valentine's day. it is friday so you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guests of. he has been in more bars than kamala harris. jon taffer! this chef serves up a generous serving of hotness. andrew gruel! her baby will go through puberty before it is even born, "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf. and grandmas a want him for valentine's day valentine's day, "new york times" best-selling author, comedian, former mpaa world champion tyrus.

before we get to some new stories let's do this. ♪ ♪ >> at greg's leftovers. >> greg: it is leftovers where i read the jokes we did not use this week. as always it is my first time reading them so if they suck we will send joe machi to receipt italy's kissing booth. today is valentine's day which means in new york city after every stabbing you receive a russell silver sampler. according to a new poll joe biden is the least popular living president. his supporters at disputed that saying he is dead. meanwhile, a former democrat donor claims joe biden was put on drugs before campaign events. that explains the election.

off the coast of chilly a kayaker was caught on camera being swallowed by a humpback whale prompting joy behar to say i was nowhere near chile. [applause] there is a rumor that kanye west and bianca sub sorry are headed for divorce are. kanye that are not blame this on the jews or it will be hard to find a good lawyer. i don't get it. the l.a.p.d. brass are providing instructions for illegal immigrants on how to evade i.c.e. advice includes blending in by not watching soccer. that is where you can find illegals. just follow the shouting!

the university of michigan is apparently changing the names of its dei offices to evade it trump's executive order. that reminds me of when usama bin laden asked his friends at to start calling him jeff. as part of her bucket list, a 104 year old woman was allowed to spend some time in jail. i know, the high point was when she made some 9-year-old her bitch. -- 90-year-old her bitch. it is funny. according to the lead of the task force on the declassification of the jfk assassination records there were two shooters involved in jfk secure link. typical, i know. kept that secret for 62 years of. a woman kept it for 6.2 minutes.

chicks am i right? do not tell them secrets! donald trump met with the prime minister of india and pressed him to lower their tariffs towards the u.s. trump even offered to throw in ana navarro since in india cows are sacred. trump said that canada is a very serious contender to be our 51st state. all they have to do is learn how to pronounce about. l on omar might run against tim walz in the minnesota senate teresa. for minnesotans of that is like having to choose between cancer and aids. because they are both bad. [laughter] you just got that?

kat, can you stand up? >> what? okay sure. >> greg: go to a shot of kat. would you stand up? >> okay. >> greg: come on. [applause] >> i don't think people. >> greg: take a wide shot. >> thank you. every shot with me and it is a wide shot. >> greg: i don't think people understand how pregnant she really is. >> at home you can't really tell from this angle and when i'm doing a live people see me out like whoa. >> greg: all right back to the jokes. elon musk's four year old was mocked by "the view" over his name. prompting his child to exclaim daddy, i didn't know hippos could talk. nasa says asteroid is meant to hit the earth by the year 2032 odds are up by 32%. meanwhile the odds of

jerry nadler hitting the toilet bowl are near zero. we are awful. elon musk revealed that paperwork for retiring federal employees is processed entirely by hand in an underground mine. here is a look at some of the workers. somebody in pennsylvania stole the 100,000 exit from the back of a truck. in a strange coincidence guess who was spotted nearby with 10,000 pounds of bacon. a florida woman gave birth on a new york city subway trainer. not surprising, the baby's first words were what the [bleep] you looking at a? they can't believe that because it is a direct quote. and finally the sports governing body known as

the world athletics is hiring staff to swap the cheeks of female athletes to make sure they are not trans. which cheeks, asked one man. to the monolog! so with d.o.g.e slicing through government to waste, fraud, and abuse, it would be nice to hear from the waist, fraud, and the abuse itself. if only it had a voice. await, it doesn't. >> can't spell the lawn without -- fell in without elon. >> that is a dog was so. >> elon musk ripped up the constitution of the system of checks and balances. >> an unelected billionaire elon musk cat flood a reckless and illegal attack on usaid. >> 9 million veterans are watching you give them the middle finger. and we won't stand for

it. >> greg: so watching the democrats reacted d.o.g.e is like watching a monster plead with a cop to ignore the kicking noises coming from inside the trunk of his car. and now they care about the constitution? come on we know they hate the constitution because it is only one applied. a little toilet paper joke there. we also know why they are really outraged. they are scared but also offended that for once they are being held to the same rules the rest of us are. as and those of us who worked in a business or ran one of. we have all been there even if it is a lemonade stand or in my case a lemonade emporium. which put all of those little [bleep] bags in my neighborhood out of business. in your face, billy! their outrage at trump is forcing them to show their work, go through

the budgets, the line items, costs and overruns, loss and theft. the reaction to this makes you wonder what they are hiding. imagine if you opened the restaurant and you have already hired the busboys. investors that gave you a boatload of money to launch there's a huge undertaking and the year goes by and those investors are showing up and asking how was it going and you say not great. probably because you offered all-you-can-eat shrimp to the wrong person. and the investor say can you show us your books at? and you say no way! you get ready -- angry at them for evening -- even asking. and then people say that it's odd i give you money and you think it is wrong for me to see where the money went. that is the federal government and as taxpayers we are at the investors. no different than running a bar or a diner or anything that serves customers. it goes under if you don't keep tabs on the

tabs. that is why larry kudlow is banned from hooters and cracker barrel. but democrats have never had to keep anything within the budget. not even nancy pelosi's face. that alone costs of $50 million. the fact is a trump is basically running a nationwide version of bar rescue where everybody can see how the sausage gets made and stolen it. we just found out, for example,, the department of health and human services luke $22 billion on things like cars, homes, and start up businesses for migrants. so while victims of disasters were given 750 bucks to pitch a tent where their business use just dance, venezuelan gang members and nyc just open and entire but implant clinic. that is better.

worse, epa chief lee zeldin revealed a $20 billion sitting in a private bag to be doled out to green energy companies that biden abandoned without proper oversight. i heard one green company received millions to produce joy behar in calendars. that is to encourage people to turn out the lights. d.o.g.e is also cleaning house at the department of education and even the irs, auditing the auditors. what is next to? checking jerry nadler's secret expense accounts for liquid plumber? the story is really not fraud it is those freaking out about exposure. that puts them on the other side of the good guys. we know eliminating waste and abuse is paramount, as is reducing the size of an arrogant, loaded government. good for everyone. but whoever it is bad for are the ones screaming about it because to them government was never about helping you but helping themselves to. >> hear he is.

[applause] >> greg: jon, congratulations on a new season of bar rescue. when i was writing this i was thinking about you going into bars and basically looking at their books and having to have that come-to-jesus moment with them which the democrats find as injustice and unconstitutional what thank you. >> first of all they don't even list what the checks are four. if i did that the irs would not accept my taxes i would be in trouble. every check written has back up. they did not even do the back up. the negligence is so disrespectful to us and our money we are paying on contracts that have expired it 10 years ago. they are writing checks for invoices they never received, companies we have no record of it. no files, no back up to these things. this is criminal. in the civilian world this would be criminal it would be extortion. but it is unbelievable

so they are screaming loud and you are right in the extortor's are the ones that will scream the loudest. and i can't wait to follow the money. [applause] >> greg: andrew, you run your own businesses that. his musket doing everything great? could he do anything better? what is your great so far? >> he is doing a great job so far and i always love the episodes were you going and find the owners are drunk and i can't wait until we go when aunt elon musk finds everybody drunk. you need to be there for that. but what is even funnier is the way the democrats are actually arguing about this. catching the falling knife i call that. this reminds me of the story to runners in the woods and there is a deep hole and the runners are like let's throw something in the hole to see how deep it is. there is a huge rock they throw the rock down the hole and it keeps going and going and going. suddenly this guy comes running again and he goes have you guys seen by donkey? and the hunters are like

funny you mentioned at the stock you went headfirst into the hole 200 miles per hour and a guy says how is that possible? i had them tied to a huge rock. i did this little story the analogy is the two runners are trump and elon musk and the democrats are the donkeys is just going down the hole, following the rock like we are going to die! >> or you saying that they are? -- jack... >> greg: mosque should copy bar rescue and just to force the congressmen to clean refrigerators in the cafeteria. it on hands and knees and scrape it. >> grease traps. >> greg: they are all grease traps. you are in an episode of bar rescue this year. >> by the way, when we filmed bar rescue it was about nine months ago. >> yes, it is crazy. there i am!

the look on my face really says it all is well. i actually just found out i was pregnant and i never thought i would be pregnant for the rest of my life. here we are! >> they keep calling elon musk an unelected billionaire. i didn't know we elected billionaire. >> also we don't know who was running the country the past four years. you can't do that when you are figurehead was literally a figurehead and barely even that. difficulty remaining upright. >> greg: yes. >> most mascots that are like a stuffed animal can do that you know what i am saying? so yes, people who are elected then higher people and to have a team that does stuff up. i do not understand the arguments i don't know who came up with the argument it is ridiculous. and also all of the money it is our money we are the investors in the

business. this is our money and i understand it can be difficult to find out that people that you have trusted are stealing from you because that has happened to me before. i did not want to see it but as soon as they are like don't look it is like you know. you have to know. >> greg: tyrus, thoughts on how it is going so far? >> i think they need to continue reminding us that elon musk is an elected official. i think they need to keep beating that horse nonstop. and so you every chance they get so when we find in the money we get to say so you as an elected official who took an oath to uphold the constitution and serve the american people stole and a laundered money just to be clear. i think that should add a few more years on the sentence because they made an oath not to do

that. so the reason why they keep saying he is so he hasn't no end game. because he is not benefiting from this. he wants money. if elon musk called his team of accountants and so bring me all my money to my house i want to count it we would not hear from him for 25 years. [applause] so with the guilty it is always the worst the villain that fights the hardest. always. >> family member that stops you in the back that fights you the most. not just democrats we need to slow our role, democrats are scared because they can't do anything their hands are tied to. accept the ones that are in far too deep like the old man that is why he is freezing all the time like the jig is up? no. [bleep] so i think it is a good they keep saying unelected let them keep saying that because it will bite them on their

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♪ ♪ it is coming your way it is a video of the day ♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: why are so many men turning red and fleeing from blue? sorry democrats it is not about them it is about you. university of chicago panel out kicks tried to figure out why more than one in five liberal men voted for trump.

and generally why more men identify as republican over democrat. that is when clay offered his two cents. rolled it, sven! >> what i would start with is a man aspire to be bigger, stronger, and faster than we are. almost universally. that is why super hall -- superhero so popular that is why pro athletes are popular. who is the most masculine democrat in america right now? mayor pete? >> is that a gay joke? >> no, it is just that he is not particularly masculine. it is not like mayor pt is a bad. chuck schumer? chuck schumer talking about holding up an avocado and a beer like that is a dude i want to hang out with. >> but trump is like a grandpa. >> greg: a grandpa who could kick your ass. not her ass but ass in

general. >> trump took a bullet in his ear and immediately stood up and said to fight! fight! fight! every man in america and most of the women were impressed by that even if the women won't admit it. she is shaking her head. and, second part of this basically someone get up, democrats for men are... >> democrats for men. >> are... there are no masculine men in the democratic party right now. >> greg: oddly, there was no reaction from the audience they are. i haven't seen a crowd that stunned since november fifth. >> greg, i must remind you, joe biden did invite trump. >> greg: that is true. by the way, i have a question. are there bars where you

recognize it is a female a bar? there aren't any because females want to be at bars where men are, right? there is no gender like you want to meant to be welcome in spots. the democratic party made it unwelcome. >> they did. it is like creating the antimale bar. does exist painted pink and invite the meals for lunch. years ago we used to build bars for women and the women's restroom was a palace and the men's bathroom was an outhouse. we knew if we had enough women the men would stand in line to go to the outhouse. >> greg: some men will stand under the outhouse. >> and climb over it. >> greg: andrew, does have a point? >> not only does he have a point he is not saying something controversial. this is what my eighth grade science teacher told us. by the way, women's outhouse, limits bathroom that will be the name of my next restaurant and bar. this is all truth. david hogg is the new

representation of the democrat party. the guy's arms are like toothpicks and this brings up a serious issue what has happened with testosterone these days of? it truly is actually diminishing across the board. and anybody who has low t is moving to the democrat party. i think we need to address it through the hhs it. >> greg: the low t party. tyrus, we have been warning democrats for two or three years about this that their policies are antimale. i mean the subversion of law and order and security the second amendment, these are all things that guys kind of understand. >> listen, these little think tanks, these little dots worry he had this little group, it was not exactly the toughest group of four people you could assemble to talk about being tough. this is one of the

problems i have with the republican party. we talk about [bleep] nobody cares about. you were calling democrats... as if everybody here who goes to the jim didn't already know that. we need to stop doing we know how to play the leader. you go to these think tanks and tried to be clever but you were just insulting a whole group of people. talk about the activists who represent the democratic party not the people who are in it because they are americans as well. they think differently. attacked the individuals you are calling out because to say all of the jacked, gul guys are democrats or republicans and all the little guys you sound like them. that is we don't do that. i think i speak for every dude here who drinks of beer or drives a truck we don't give a damn about another man thinking i don't want a liberal man and my place today. if i see a man it is on. we don't care. that is why we want to.

we focused on things that are important. we don't care if you have wimpy arms or big thick arms. [applause] >> greg: kat, i think the question they are trying to get at is can the democratic party went back men and how can they do wit a? >> i am not a man regardless of what some people like to say on twitter. accuse me of fake -- faking my pregnancy complete with very intricate diagrams. i think it is a little different. i do know men and i have spoken to them. >> greg: you are married to one. >> i married to one there might be one in here i don't know. >> greg: i think that is actually dana perino. >> i think it is not just who the democrats or they don't want meant to be themselves and telling you that the way you are is wrong or bad. if you are a guy with more masculine energy there is something wrong with you and there is nothing you can do it

like you just need to grovel and grovel and grovel and apologize and apologize and apologize and even still then you are still evil. i think a lot of guys, the ones i talked to eventually after years and years of this like maybe just a [bleep] off >> greg: it is a good point. you have to somehow it is not be subservient to some prevailing ideology and you can't just. >> guys i know who made the switch truly do not care what any other man is or does or the way they represent themselves. they were sick of being told that them being them was a rock no matter what. >> we have to get rid of the activists. can't have activists in your political party. >> greg: the activists gained new traction with a social media and they were able to amplify their role and everything. >> they certainly amplified their role is to fight and that is for sure. >> greg: and they steered the democratic party down a

dead end. with that show is not at a dead end. in fact, we are just getting started. that is why i am a professional. you see how i am doing that? [applause] no, no, no no no i don't need it yet. so which music should you bump when you get dumped? our economic partnership keeps millions of americans working. we're here, right by your side. [title: ontario, canada] [title: ontario.ca/partner] [title: paid for by the government of ontario] i was stuck. unresolved depression symptoms were in my way. i needed more from my antidepressant. vraylar helped give it a lift. adding vraylar to an antidepressant is clinically proven to help relieve overall depression symptoms better than an antidepressant alone. vraylar is not approved for elderly patients with dementia-related psychosis due to increased risk of death or stroke. report changes in behavior or suicidal thoughts to your doctor. antidepressants can increase these in children and young adults. report fever, stiff muscles or confusion which may be life-threatening or uncontrolled

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♪ ♪ young man there is a place you can go ♪ ♪ i said young man ♪ ♪ its fun to stay at the ymca ♪ ♪ it is a fun to stay at the ymca ♪ ♪ >> greg: kat, i must go to you first. >> i'm an expert and breakups? >> greg: and you will love emo. is a good to listen to music that allows you to wallow in your bad feelings? >> if you cry because crying is good for you you release endorphins. a lot of these are really good i love it the amy winehouse one it is great if any of the songs ever come on and you are in the same room as me and you are a man you better get out. before i like look at you like this. but also i think the best song ever is janis joplin pearl. she has a lot of good ones especially cry

baby. the first one i ever saw that i was sitting at... express and i was sitting there with my college boyfriend like i'm going to go find myself. they really are all like this. and it changed my life. there is nothing caught her and nothing you want more than a man to cry over the thought of his love for you. >> greg: that is good to know but it is too late for me. tyrus. do you have a heartbreak album? >> no. >> greg: no. >> heartbreak album is a young man's game. they came in and asked me to pick one i had to go back when was the last time my heart was broken? you have to get your heart broken to become. you go through it once. so after seven until you do me right or something like that. everywhere you go everything looks like her. every time if she says brown hair every person with brown hair walking is that her know she is gone not coming back. and then you get wisdom and you get older and

now i'm leaving you you were like cool. >> greg: it is true. >> men get to a point where you are just like all right, then, well. >> greg: the feeling does not come back. >> keep on trucking. >> greg: andrew, is there some powerful music you listen to when you you have been married for a long time. >> yes. 40, 50 years i think. >> greg: amazing. just for men your beard or for women? >> this thought of album idea i could not wrap my mind around it until because what i remember is the mix. we need to bring back the mix. remember the mix tapes? the beauty of mixtapes if you could one moment the melancholy and listening to radiohead which was my chosen album but then go into hardcore punk like sick of it all. just go wild. it made me move into psychedelic pop rockfish bouncing around the room. because when you are in emotional despair you have no idea what direction you were going in about 90 seconds.

>> that is true. >> maybe it is melatonin mondays i do not know. >> greg: have you ever had your heartbroken? >> i have but i'm sort of in the same vote as tyrus. i had my heart broken once my favorite song after that is hit the road jack. >> that is funny because jack ac/dc actual jock when things get tight. sipping of course connects the dock. >> greg: what is the most popular song on a jukebox in a bar? >> for a long time new york, new york, was the highest for once. i still think it is songs like hotel california. >> greg: wherever you go that song is everywhere. enough already. enough i don't need to hear that again. i'm going to go with the smiths hateful hollow. the smiths the greatest a singer when it comes to melancholy. seat nobody agrees with me. that's good. that is good. all right.

coming up, liberal shrews are feeling the blues.

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so, here's to now... now available: boost max! ♪ ♪ >> a story in five words. [applause] >> greg: liberal women are still unhappy. tyrus, this is almost like the flip side of the be block. a recent study found liberal women are much less happy than their conservative peers.

12% of liberal women reporting they were completely satisfied with life. 12%. apparently they don't know you, tyrus. >> i would argue that is the 12% of that have. but again i don't care. i wouldn't liberal women again, i hate the boxes and labeling. it is like you know i don't know any woman that is ever completely happy. and what i mean by that is when you first start out together in a one-bedroom apartment and you barely make ends meet and a good night out as one night a week you go to chilis and everything is great. all of a sudden you build and build and have a giant house so you can have cars you have this and it is the same complaints. it does not matter. it does not matter! the things change you can literally have jesus as your butler and that she will still be like i did not ask him to build

it that way. there is always a problem. that is not a liberal thing a conservative thing that is a [bleep] woman thing. [applause] >> greg: kat? you are about to explode a? >> i wish. i feel like i have a lot to say about this actually. >> greg: sure. >> sorry. so i always considered myself a feminist in the salt and pepper cents so yes i'm a woman but if you were going to judge me for doing something a man would do [bleep] you and i am in power to. i think some iteration of feminism that is more liberal it is not so much about what you can do but what is being done to you and that ceases to be inspirational and empowering at all and that certain point you don't have any control or agency over your own life then who would not be depressed by that? >> greg: it is like a shrimp. are shrimp? >> where are you? >> greg: i was thinking about chilis.

it is like going to a shrink and the shrimp indulges -- the shrink indulges your personhood and you try to walk past that. the party is a yankee or a victim. >> good therapy is a great but bad therapy is worse than no therapy. >> greg: a lot of them aren't married. the primary supporters of biden were single women. but maybe they were single for a reason if you know what i mean. i don't know. now tyrus is making me feel guilty he is staring at me. >> no, no, no a lot of them are ugly as hell. i'm not arguing with you. >> greg: andrew, what say you. as a man who again is happily married i am sure. >> very, very happily married happy valentine's day to everybody including my beautiful wife it. >> you son of a bitch.

>> greg: your dear wife. >> this is about things in life that can't be answered. democratic thought process and general liberals it is about answering why. the why behind everything it is all about equity and fairness and equality but that is not how life works. one of the biggest cliches we learn right away is that life is not fair. we know that we know that life is not fair deal with that take the punches let it make you tougher. they are always looking for the equality and it is not working. we are going to force equity force are quality. so all the answers are constantly wrong. imagine if you keep the feeling every single test you need to pass -- pressed through. >> greg: if you have an incorrect filter on life nothing everything. good point. we are so deep here. up next your mail! ♪ miebo ♪ ♪ ohh yeah ♪ miebo is the only prescription dry eye drop that forms a protective layer for the number one cause of dry eye:

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♪ ♪ >> yes. you are watching mailing in. >> greg: first question from... that is a great name. what is your favorite sound that brings a smile to your face. let's go around to you, jon, what kind of a sound makes you goat... >> dog. >> greg: interesting.

>> not a barking person. >> greg: you will not a prowler i take it. >> that was go to. >> greg: andrew. >> i would say birds chirping and the springtime. >> and happy valentine's day. >> and happy valentine's day to my wife. he got me into it so i have to do it. >> greg: you are definitely cheating. i kid to. i think. kat? >> the sound of... eating. because if he is eating that means he is not having a flareup of his ibd and when i hear that sound i don't have to give him his pepcid ac his human pepcid ac which is difficult to do if you were not a humid -- human because you have to crush it up into quarters and a pile and i did it on a plate and left it there and then my dog walker came around he was being weird around to me until

i realized it looked like i was doing cocaine in the afternoon of. 20 milligrams tablets are white. so he was being a little weird and i was like oh it is pepcid ac if you snort that you will be disappointed to. but the sound of cheese eating in the morning so i don't have to do any medication. >> greg: that is your 13 year old cat. >> 14 and a half. >> greg: tyrice knight? >> silence. i'm sorry. i'm just an old man now. but when i hear nothing i am like, yeah. >> greg: you know what a? i never appreciated it until. >> you have been a dad for seven, 8 minutes. a calm down to. >> greg: i had i like the sound of a v-8 engine or a car made in the 50s when they were really made well but no silence beats that. silence. can we ask what is the biggest for what you

told as a kid it. andrew? >> there was one time i ended up for my parents bed and i blamed it on the dog. >> i told everybody at school that robert harris was my dad. and win the celtics played the lakers he wanted to know if he could get tickets and then i told him he was a deadbeat dad. [laughter] >> greg: kat? >> that i had a secret closet in my house i could walk into and turn into a dog. not that weird. >> greg: jon? >> mind is generic. i didn't do it. >> greg: very good. i think when i was a kid i would tell kids i was a transfer student and that is why i appeared so old. [laughter] >> greg: we will be

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