(800) 419-1286. that's try relax. com or call (800) 419-1286. >> dana perino's new book. i wish someone had told me inside the crucial moments that shaped her career and life. plus, how to take the next steps in your professional and personal journeys. with special insight from her fox news colleagues. preorder your copy now at fox news books.com. >> unfortunately, that is all the time we have left this evening. thank you for being with us as we commemorate day one of the second month of president trump 2.0. sean is back on monday. have a great weekend, everyone.

>> oh! oh. yes, yes. >> yeah you're. >> right, you're right. >> it's friday. >> so you know what that means. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. >> he gets a sunburn watching baywatch. fox news contributor tom shillue. >> he was. >> a white house. >> intern under. >> bush, and that's the only time he ever saw one. host of. >> the guy. >> benson show. >> guy benson. he's hoping to hear something tonight that he's never heard before. applause. comedian chris destefano. >> and like all former. >> cheerleaders, she has a restraining. order against me. cohost of outnumbered, emily compagno. all right, before we get to some new stories, let's

do this. >> yeah. >> greg's leftovers. here we go. >> yeah. it's leftovers. where i read the jokes we didn't use this week. and as always, it's my first time reading them. so if they suck, we'll make joe mackie hand wash maxine waters wig. >> oh. >> all right. president trump swapped out the resolute desk in the oval office just days after elon musk's son appeared to wipe a booger on it. well, it could have been worse, said one man. researchers say narcissists have a higher likelihood of being ignored by others. you know, for months, jesse watters was telling everybody this, but nobody listened. the regional airline that operated the delta flight that flipped over on a canada runway had recently bragged about having man free flight crews. in other words, i think

we're all surprised they actually made it to the runway. >> a sexist would say. >> do we really need that anymore? yes. republican mitch mcconnell announced that he won't run for reelection. is it because he's old, feeble or out of touch? no. he just wants to spend more time with his family. according to a new survey, nearly 10% of u.s. adults identify as lgbtq. the other 90% identify as who gives a. >> yeah. >> a nonprofit is asking social media users to help name a remarkably rotund beaver. people willing to participate should send their suggestions to person with a large beaver care of ana navarro.

>> greg. >> she loves pets. divorce rumors continue to escalate for the obamas. hopefully they can settle it like men. >> oh. >> hey. terrible that you would applaud that. after canada beat the us last night in hockey, justin trudeau gleefully mocked the us. then he went home and posted his resume on ziprecruiter. democratic consultant james carville said stephen a smith doesn't know his from a hole in the ground. carville should know a hole in the ground is where he lays his eggs because he's a lizard. lizards lay eggs, don't they? who cares? actress cynthia, there she is, has joined the hollywood bowl's production of jesus christ superstar, in which she will be playing the

title character, jesus christ. in a related casting note, the virgin mary will be played by this actor. doge, otherwise known as the department of government efficiency, has revealed that 1.9 billion in hud money has been misplaced during the biden administration. no one is sure where it went, but that could explain the bulge in rachel levine's skirt. finally, scientists have developed a drone that can smell a drone that smells. don't we have that already? oh. >> oh. >> you hate him. so here we go. i wonder if our culture sends a message to young men that you should suppress every masculine urge. >> i think that our culture sends a message. >> to young men. >> that you should suppress

every masculine urge. >> you should. you should. >> try to cast aside your family. you should try to suppress what makes you a young man in the first place. and i think that my, my message to young men is, don't allow this broken culture to send you a message that you're a bad person because you're a man, because you like to tell a joke, because you like to have a beer with your friends or because you're competitive. >> so there you go. jd has a message for young men. it's okay to be young men. it's different than the lincoln project's message for young men, which is this will be our little secret. but what vance is speaking out against is the idea of toxic masculinity, or, as yours truly calls it, my core values. it's not enough to scold men for doing bad things. libs now scold men for doing anything. it's a cultural message. and i bet the president and jd is the exact

opposite. >> the cultural message. and i think the president's and mine is the exact opposite. but our cultural message is, i think, that it wants to turn everybody into, whether male or female, into androgynous idiots who think the same, talk the same, and act the same. we actually think god made male and female for a purpose, and we want you guys to thrive as young men and as young women, and we're going to help with our public policy to make it possible to do that. >> but imagine kamala harris trying to put that many coherent sentences in order to think she was one dead, life alert, battery away from the presidency. but vance is drawing a distinction between the democrats embrace of victimhood and identity, and the republicans embrace of strength and action. i mean, what's more awesome than a frickin chainsaw?

>> thank you. >> oh. >> this is. >> the chainsaw. >> for bureaucracy. >> it's pretty good. pretty cool. but you got to wonder how he got that past the secret service, the chainsaw and the hair. but talk about acting like a guy you know. musk fiercely waving the chainsaw in the air. and why not celebrate with power tools? hell, after i became the king of late night, i fired a nail gun into the air. but i can't say any more because then the widows will ask for more money. but that's what vance, musk, rfk jr and trump's merry pirate ship are doing. they're making masculinity great again. think about it. what's the most masculine thing a guy can do? post his mug shot in his office so everyone can see it.

including those who thought it would hurt him. trump took the critical attacks on him and he turned it around. what does that remind you of? an action hero? disarming the attack or taking their gun and pointing it back at them. but if you look at all of trump's moves from the mug shot to raising his fist after getting shot at, it's an action movie that every guy wants to see, and it's the kind with lots of funny stuff in between. it's die hard, it's lethal weapon, it's thelma and louise without those chatty broads. as scott adams points out, the trump movie projects optimism, energy, humor, strength and risk where people come together and there's a potential for greatness. and it's way preferable to steel magnolias, which i never saw. trump's delivering what hollywood decided was toxic, and now he's doing the movies that they won't. meanwhile, compare that to the dems, whose message is we're weak and sad

and we need help. while they focus on things that have nothing to do with reality, just made up panics. it reminds me of every scene in a disaster movie where one character is freaking out and the hero has to slap him across the face. or better yet, the dems are that lady in an airplane falling apart. remember that. and can you guess who the republicans are? >> i've got to get out of here. >> calm down. get ahold. >> of yourself. >> stewardess, please let me handle this. >> i'm gonna. >> get. >> calm down. now get back to your seat. i'll take care of this. >> calm down. calm down. get a hold of yourself. >> you're wanted. >> on the phone. >> oh. >> everything's gonna. >> be. >> all right. >> please, sister. please. i'll handle this myself. i've got to get out of. out of here, out of here! i gotta get out of here. oh! >> it's funny, cause in 2024, it's kind of true. the dems are pulling their hair out while the republicans are trying to slap some sense into them. and the democratic party has been nothing but a matrix churning

out hoaxes. and who roots for the bureaucrats anyway, especially those driven by fiction. you remember the classic film dirty harry? it focused on a heroic cop who takes no bs and bends the rules for justice. imagine if they'd taken the perspective of the bureaucrat that was trying to stop him instead. no one would see that movie, just like no one sees the democrats. except, let's face it, miserable women. they love melodrama and fiction, and the dems are providing both. meanwhile, everyone else is lining up around the block for the trump movie. it makes me wish i'd bought stock in popcorn. >> ooh. >> here he is. >> tom. >> you're in a constant search for your masculinity. what do you make of j.d. vance's words at cpac, and how there seems to be a vibe shift. shift

changing? >> absolutely. i love j.d. vance. i mean, if he's watching j.d, i want to be your friend. i want to hang out with you after school. >> that is creepy. >> but i. >> wish he. the greatest. >> thing. >> about this was when he started his diatribe. people started applauding right at the beginning because they knew where he was going. and i wish that, you know, they're applauding. i wish he took it too far, because that would have been so awesome if he was like, you should not get in trouble, man, for having a beer or telling a joke, or killing an elk with your shotgun and then gutting it and. >> letting the guts spill out onto your. >> boots and. >> taking it's heart out and biting it and letting the blood drip down your beard and howling. >> at the moon. and they're like, when's this going to end? but listen, i love this. and it is actually we joke about it, but it's very important. and, you know, this whole toxic masculinity thing as a narrative, it was so harmful, not because it hurt guy's feelings. you know, the feminists would say, oh, you

know, toxic masculinity. your male feelings are hurt. it wasn't about the feelings the guy's got over it. but what they did was they withdrew right from society. they stopped. they were like corporate america. i don't need to do that. forget it. i don't want to be a part of that nonsense. yeah, i don't want to go to college. it's all. it's a girl thing. now. you don't want to go to college. they are just retreating into their own thing, and they're like, they're doing, you know, they're doing farming and they're like, living off the land. they don't want to do any of this stuff. so that's the sad thing about it. >> that's an interesting point. i didn't connect all of that together. well done for you. conspiracy freak guy. he is right though. it's kind of like the men aren't. they don't care if their feelings hurt, but they just don't. they find a place that they don't feel at home at. why would you be at a place that's inhospitable? and that's what i think is happening with the democratic party. it's inhospitable to men. >> first of all, i just have. >> to point out just the elephant. >> in the room. this is the third. straight day. >> emily's been here, which.

>> is awesome. >> does that. >> mean. >> that cat tim, finally had her pregnancy. >> hoax exposed? >> because i heard. i don't know if this is true. i heard that a basketball fell out of her. shirt during a commercial break in america's newsroom. jeanine pirro arrested her on the spot. >> yes. we haven't heard. >> justice delayed is justice denied. >> yes, yes, we'll be looking into that shortly, guy. but thank you for bringing that up. you're welcome. i had to. >> but back to the men. i have been called mask many times, and so i feel like i'm an authority, perhaps on the subject. one thing that was interesting, the chainsaw moment. i had a liberal friend of mine text it to me to say. don't you find this horrifying? just like it should be self-evidently horrible. and i just stared at my phone and i was like. and i responded, no. >> yeah, right. >> you've got a foreign leader coming in who's been very successful at gutting wasteful government in his country, in argentina, giving a fun, cool chainsaw to our guy doing that and everyone cheering. it's like actually kind of fun and

awesome. yeah. and i feel like the hand-wringing about how terrible the optics are is a distillation of the problem the left has with men right now, because i think a lot of dudes and probably some women look at that and say, cool, that's fun. let's do more of that. >> yeah. and it is true that they they get hung up on the surface level imagery, the words, but not the deeds. chris, welcome back to the show. i've missed you. >> thank you. i haven't been. >> here in a year. >> i know. >> and. >> i was just upset about it because i. >> am the. >> self-proclaimed leader of your fan group, the goat. >> yes, that's. >> right. >> i'm a. >> proud gutter. >> i had merch made up. i thought we were going to make a website. yes. and then i couldn't get back on the show as emailing. and now kash patel is going to be sending you an email. we're going to arrest you. yes, that's what it is. dude, i was having me on. >> i was gut shaming. yes. and i felt it. yes. do you feel like you're kind of like either living in a movie? it feels like there's a narrative, like there's a like an action going

on. we're like in the third act of this, of this trump movie. >> listen, it's one of those things where here's what i feel like. i'm very thankful i grew up like deep in new york city. i'm very thankful. brooklyn. i'm thankful to have been punched in the face when i was a kid because, like, i now know, like i've been hit, you know, like everyone was like running around, running their mouth. and now it's like people are they've been saying these things for years, and now society is like, shut up. yeah, stop saying you're stupid. well, i've never stood by anything i believed in, ever, because i've just been knocked unconscious so many times in my life. so for me, yeah. and honestly, the chainsaw thing was interesting for me because i grew up in ridgewood and there's a lot of albanians there. and i remember one time we got into a fight on the basketball court and the albanian kids came back with chainsaws. so i was like, oh, i didn't know ellen was albanian. and so it just was a little ptsd. but i think it's all cool. and i wished he would have just taken the chainsaw and cut that guy's hair clean off his. horrible. yes. >> emily, as a woman, i think that the democrats underestimated the disdain a

lot of women would have for the disdain for men in their party because they women are married to men. some women are, some women aren't. i don't know why i looked at you. i think it's because you're my stand in for a lesbian. >> i thought that was ellen. >> yeah, yeah. yes, it is ellen. >> yes. >> it's ellen after ellen. ellen. it's ellen after a series of treatments, i think. i think it is shrinking, though, i hope. yes. can the democrats attract men back into this party? i mean, how do they do it? >> i don't think they. can at all, because. >> we just watched for four years. >> as every every male was neutered. we saw a chapter of castration occur and worse, i think, as they were tried to be canceled for, for even daring to be masculine. i mean, we saw daniel pennie prosecuted like that went so far to, in my

opinion, as to be irretrievable. and i'm glad about that because the reality is, as people like pete buttigieg say, oh, this is what is created trump republicans. i take such issue with that term because it just means the majority of america. it just means those those that subscribe to common sense. you're right that what women need first and foremost, what they yearn for in their male partner is security. and many confuse that with financial security. nope. just security and all that. that term defines and represents. and you're not going to get security from a bald guy with red lips stealing your suitcase and wearing your dresses. you're not going to get security from from someone that doesn't wave a chainsaw around on stage. so i loved it because it harkened back to me for the best movie of all time, which was summer school. remember chainsaw? second only, i guess to steel magnolias, because my colors at my wedding were blush and bashful. but the bottom line is, it also symbolized something much deeper. which was, to your point, the leader of argentina

saying, hell yes, me too. not the me too coming out of hollywood. the me too of like, bureaucracy is old. we're going to destroy it. we're going to we're going to absolutely obliterate that, that latent comfort that everyone has been wallowing in with our tax dollars. so i thought it was beautiful, man. sweep the globe. >> wildfire. sweep the globe. sweep it. what is it with women always wanting to sweep things? can't take the broom out of the woman's hand. what are you going to do up next? ella is out of luck as karen passes the buck. sweep, sweep. >> stay safe. brother. >> how was the kid anyway? solid. >> once we're. >> down there. >> follow my lead. >> you just lost our driver. one. where are you? >> the odds are against them. >> he's gone. no, he's not. >> their only chance. >> i got. >> an idea. >> could destroy that. >> we put the entire ship at risk. >> experience the. incredible true story.

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>> once again, karen bass talks out of her because when destruction occurs, it's everyone's fault but hers. la mayor karen bass is demanding an investigation into her trip to ghana. the h is silent as the la fires erupted, a trip she made the decision to embark on. roll it lance. >> although there were warnings that i frankly wasn't aware of, although there were warnings, i think our preparation was it wasn't what it typically is. >> what do you mean? there were warnings you weren't aware. >> of when i talked about it with with the fire chief. and what she said is, is that we have warnings of santa ana winds a lot. but predicting this and you saw we from the city, from the county, that level of preparation really didn't happen. so it didn't reach that level to me to say something terrible could happen. and maybe you shouldn't have gone on the trip. why

didn't it to me, i don't know. i mean, i think that that's one of the things we need to look at. >> she wants to know how she ended up thousands of miles away in africa. she seems to me like it's pretty simple. she hopped on a plane and flew there. what? did someone blindfold her, throw her in the back of a trunk and bing bang boom. she ended up in ghana? nope. she booked the trip. and as mayor, she lives in la where fires are a part of life. blaming her absence on someone else is kind of like blaming your hangover on the bartender. it's all on you, mayor bass, which means you'll probably be governor in no time. >> curious guy. >> you got to give her credit. this is an audacious play. you know, it's like oj saying, like, we need to find the killer. >> yeah, it's like, good luck, nancy drew with this mystery. how did you end up on another continent on a trip that you chose to go on? she's like, we don't know the details, but

we're looking into it. yeah. she also promised as a candidate not to leave the country, ever. as mayor. she loved to go to africa, she said. but not anymore. once i'm mayor, she listed like five cities she would ever go to, and that's it. and then here she is for the fourth or fifth time overseas. and this happens. and she's, i guess so out of any other excuse or idea that she said, we're investigating ourselves about how this could have been done to me. how could i have done this to me? yes. an investigation with karen bass. >> i will be reporting myself to me. chris, you know what freaks me out about her? everything she says. that's horrible. she does with a smile. have you noticed that? >> yes. >> it's weird. >> it's freaky. and it's one of those things where it's like. i mean, wouldn't we all want to have this excuse where i would be like, babe, i don't. i'm investigating how i went to the strip club as well. i don't know how that happened. it is under investigation. the winds were blowing that way, but i didn't know, and i do. i have a chainsaw. >> yeah.

>> that's true, you know. yeah. it's wild. she was babbling. >> no, actually, though, guys could do that. like, you know, i think we really need to investigate why i cheated on you with your best friend. yes, there's some underlying issues there. >> we're figuring it out. >> and it's also an active investigation, so we cannot comment at. this time. >> right. honey, i cannot comment to you. the therapist. i would. >> love to tell you what we found. >> it's disclosed. >> yes. yes, emily, i got just got some breaking news. what? i'm really hot. no, apparently karen bass just fired the fire chief. but i don't know if that has any effect on what you're already going to say. >> i mean, whatever, it's like watching mud wrestling. go ahead. i don't care. both of you suck. look, here's the thing. when. >> like, mud wrestling. >> seriously? all right, i'm gonna investigate that. so here's the thing. this is what kills me about this is that only in the last four years could we have the most clearly

incompetent responsibility. shoveling away human as mayor of one of the largest cities of america. and then as. by the way, she says, like, you know, i didn't get that weather service report i'm investigating that was designated a pds, a particularly dangerous situation by the weather service, which meant like really strong winds, super high temperatures and something else, whatever the whole point is, that was everywhere. everyone knew it was going to be. >> a pds. >> yeah, i have it. >> right here. god, i thought i had. >> fire service warning. oh. >> my doctor told me if i think i have pds, i should call the pharmacist immediately, especially if it lasts more than three hours. >> this is. a this is a different kind of fire. so, so it's just. yeah, it's just crazy. it's crazy to me that we can get by that she can try to get by with this level of deflection and this level of incompetence that that it somehow sticks. and the fact that our tax dollars were so wasted on her salary the whole time were absolutely

annihilated during the horrible response and lack of prevention to this terrible wildfire. but also now they're being spent on an investigation. like the only thing i want my tax dollars to go to are to firing her next by fire chief. by her? >> yeah. you know. tom, this is one of those instances where nobody knew that bass was incompetent. if you lived in that democrat bubble that voted for. but this got through, it's like we all knew she was incompetent, but it took a giant fire for everybody else to go, oh, maybe she's not good. >> yeah. and what good is it to fire the fire. chief when she like, she should have just gone ahead and had the guts to blame the fire chief. like she didn't say anything. her closing statement in that interview was the idea that i was not present was very painful to me. >> yes. >> yeah. >> the idea, it's not an idea. like she. >> actually wasn't present. >> yes. >> she physically wasn't. >> there wasn't an idea.

>> yeah. >> but politicians have to figure that that era is over. you can't talk in this mealy mouthed way anymore. trump has put a complete end to that. she should have just blamed people. i think that's what a trump would have done. you would have been like, it's gavin newsom's fault. >> yeah, i think he did do just blame gavin. >> newsom, right? >> get out. you know. >> that's what i tried to do. when i told my wife about the strip club, i tried it didn't work. >> yeah. you know what trump would have done? he would have blamed the fire. >> yeah. >> yes, yes. >> and you know what? >> he would have been right? >> fire. he would have been right. >> yeah, he would have been right. it's the fires fault. all right. up next was a booger on trump's desk. grotesque. >> nick saban took alabama football to a new level. >> he retired. the goat gone. damn. >> and you're coming in. this is the best of the best. >> i just want to touch somebody with my story. >> y'all are. >> representing every little kid that can't come out. >> find a way.

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>> most beautiful place i've. >> ever seen in my life. >> i didn't set out to change america, but it's what ended up happening. >> is this. >> even real? >> tonight on. is this even real? did a booger banished the white house desk? chris, we're getting a disturbing reports out of the oval office that days after elon musk and his son x were there, trump has ordered the resolute desk to be removed and refurbished, and many are wondering whether it's because little x wiped a booger on it. you have children. you are familiar with snot. it's everywhere. >> isn't it covered in snot all day, every day, baby? and i'm. >> sure it's green 100%. >> it's a corduroy booger. and from zara and i. dude, i could confirm that this desk is. it's been removed. it's on the market. it's in bay ridge, brooklyn right now where i'm living. frankie furniture, he's

selling it on third avenue. he was like, this is elon's kids booger desk. and they got it. and it's going, dude, it's going for a couple of dogecoins. >> yeah, they should put that booger on ebay. they put everything else on there. emily, you know, could snot be considered a biological weapon? for example, musk might be investigated for trying to take out trump in some kind of ingenious manner. >> whoa. >> snot is dead. but we have incredible flu rates that are going unreported. emily. >> you are correct that the mucus holds the bodies like bacteria and all the gross things. it's my understanding this occurs and this is why children are fomites. so yes, this this to me is exactly why a child should not be left unfettered somewhere really important. but before they took it away, i just wish they could have done one of those wands from csi where they go all around the desk and then just see how many bodily fluids are on it from the prior administrations. here's looking at you, bill. >> yeah. >> oh. >> tom, you have you have two,

two children. they're they're they're almost grown. >> yes. they're grown. >> yeah, yeah. do you think this was an overreaction to the natural fluids that flow from a child's nostril? >> look, i don't. >> even think it was that he. said i, i believe trump because he said, you know, they're just repairing the desk. you know, they're getting it in good shape. i don't think it had to do with the kid, that resolute desk, you know, that came from the british. it's i always thought it was called the resolute desk because some weirdo president was. >> like, this. >> is the resolute desk. >> it's so it helps me make decisions. >> it's the resolute desk. >> it was from the hms resolute. it was on a ship, and it was given to the us by queen victoria. >> wow. >> yes. >> too bad this show wasn't called jeopardy. >> yeah. >> what is. what is the resolute desk? >> you just went spastic. dude, that was wild. like, i know all the answers. >> but it seemed like a weird name for a desk. >> it seems.

>> dumb to name a desk. >> yeah. who names a desk? yeah, right. exactly. why are guy. do you believe this is real? i don't believe it's real. but it's a great story. i mean, you know, trump is apparently a germaphobe. we keep hearing that. so maybe, you know, this little snot was just too much for him. >> here's what i'm caught up on. is it true that elon's son's name is x? yes. elon is up to x in the alphabet already. wow. that's all i got. what's next? why yes. >> like that? yeah. it's true. all right, well, i guess that hit a brick wall coming up. it's not disputed. i makes you stupid. >> liberty. >> liberty mutual is all she talks about. since we saved hundreds by bundling our home and auto insurance. >> hey, kid. >> it's pronounced liberty. >> liberty? liberty. liberty, liberty. liberty, liberty,

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growing, obviously, and possibly inducing critical thinking, as people are offloading their cognitive tasks to things like chatgpt and grok. should we be concerned at all? >> yes, we should be terrified. horrified. and i do believe it's the beginning of the end of the civilization. here's why. because when we all grew up, thank god it was without the internet. like we actually learned critical thinking skills. we actually had to learn problem solving. you got punched in the face. like there are things that that happen to us that made us better critical thinkers, problem solvers, leaders, etc. literally the instant that the internet came, even that started messing with everyone's ability to think for themselves, to research, to read, reading comprehension, literally give someone right now, like a couple paragraphs, can you read it all the way through? can you tell me what it states? no. literally no one can. so to me, the fact that kids are relying on this, it is frightening and horrifying. i don't know what we're going to do about this. >> so this leads to my solution. tom, you're a parenting expert that shouldn't they program ai as a bully? >> yeah, well, it is a bully and it's causing people. it is

causing people's brains to kind of shut down. i mean, i learned that from the variety article. greg, you're the king of late night, but you can't even wind your watch. >> thank you for that. >> the most popular, one of the most popular digital games. everyone's playing on their phone. it's called wordle. >> yes, wordle. >> you just got to do one five letter word a day. people used to do like, 50,000 of those. it was called a book. >> yeah. >> but i'm going analog. greg, i'm taking pictures. smile, greg. oh, i'm taking pictures. >> this is film. >> i'm shooting on film. i'm developing my own negatives. this is my new thing. go analog. i'm talking about on my site, tom locals.com. we're sharing our work, shooting on film. and you know who loves this stuff? young people, people in their 20s, they're shooting. >> on young. >> people love an aging, strange looking man with a camera. yes, they love that. >> yes. >> you put the in analog. just. >> screaming. it's a resolute desk. >> yes. that is so reassuring.

oh, no. i'm just going back to the old days. come with me, sir. this is a dressing room. this is a dressing room at forever 21. >> oh my god. >> so, guy, i'm going to take the opposite perspective here. tech does make us less dependent on skills. but there's a reason. i mean we're i don't need to make a fire with two sticks. i don't need to know how to ride a horse that's got a car and i got a bic lighter. so maybe these skills are not necessary as we evolve. >> i think reasoning and reading are skills that will still be necessary. but overall, i think you're right. this is just an accelerated version of the internet and google, right? i mean, when i was growing up, how many phone numbers did i have memorized? a lot, yeah, and now i have almost none. i remember my childhood home phone number and that's about it. i had memorized every world series winner from 1950 on because i thought that was important for me to know, and now it's just like two clicks away on your screen and i'm like, oh, i didn't actually need to know

those things. i didn't need to memorize those things. but then there is a laziness that comes into where people don't actually do any thinking or have any knowledge. that's where it gets bad. >> but think about all that space in your brain for stupid. like those statistics that you just mentioned. >> what do i fill that with? probably other stupid, frankly. >> yeah. that's true. you know, you're a comedian, chris, so i'm going to give you this. i think this is a i like how you supposedly. yes. but one area that i can't do is humor because i doesn't have a back story. yes. so if i like, like when you look at ai jokes, it's all it's all puns and riddles, but you can't. if an ai said to you. i was at the restaurant the other day with my wife, it's like, does it work? >> yeah, and it doesn't work at all. and like chatgpt, a lot of people use that. i really swear to god. i think chatgpt on the other side is just some chinese guy who's got like all the answers, because sometimes i'll ask the question, it'll just start writing in chinese symbols, and i have to be like, no, no, not that. and i

personally have multiple times asked chatgpt been like, what would chris destefano? how would he write that joke? and then it writes it out, what it would think, and i'd be like, i suck. like, my god, i didn't realize i was this bad of a comedian, but i think it's because you're right. there is that human element that, yeah, you know, we. >> if there's no backstory, then there's no like, that's why they all have to be puns, because anybody can do a pun and they're always terrible, right? there you go. >> resolute desk. >> i'll never be out of a job. up next, viewer mail. don't go away. >> oh. >> oops. oh. >> with flonase, allergies don't have to be scary. spraying flonase daily gives you long lasting non-drowsy relief. flonase all good. >> lumify it's kind. >> of amazing. >> wow. >> lumify eye drops dramatically reduce. >> redness in one. >> minute. >> and look at the difference.

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>> look for clinical grade berberine and other doctors preferred products in stores near you. >> yep. >> you're watching mailing. >> it in. >> oh, what a fitting question for this week. ben z asks if you could be on the cover of a magazine. if you could be on a cover of a magazine. which magazine would you choose? tom? >> i would say like american horseman or something like that. >> why? >> it's funny that that gets left because i see myself as kind of a marlboro man. but apparently you see me as, like, don knotts or something. >> ha ha. >> no. >> there is a huge gulf between how you see yourself and other

people. but wouldn't you? you could say that about everybody. everybody's like that, right? >> yeah, i think so. i mean, but that's what i think makes kind of a dork. like, i think of myself as a dork, not a nerd. people mix them up. a dork is a very confident nerd. like, he has no idea. >> you should be on the cover of confident nerd magazine. >> yeah. >> what are the cover? what would be the cover lines? tom? >> wow. that's. >> well, there goes your confidence. >> all right. >> that was sad, guy. what cover of what magazine would you like to be on? >> so, just a point of clarity. what is a magazine? you hold that up again. >> okay. you know how, like, imagine taking, like, 6 or 7 different things from the internet. maybe a story about food and then a story about travel. and you print them out, you print them out and then you staple them and then you pay, you know, a half $1 million to

eight people to, like, pretend that they did it. >> wow. >> that's exactly what a magazine is. >> i actually am debuting finally on wasp magazine's. >> cover. >> and i've been working toward this my entire life. and it's just it's important to have representation, greg. and i think it's the november issue coming up. >> you're more like a wasp, not a wasp. >> is that a gay wasp? is that your clever joke? >> yes. >> wasp. that's really subtle and well done. that's some. that's some good humor. definitely not an i joke there. greg. well done. >> it couldn't be. i wouldn't know that about you, but i do. there are many things i know about you, guy. chris. >> yep. i would say, first of all, that magazine we're going to do gut weekly. yes. that's like to be on the cover of that. >> that's just so you can you can date the models. >> that's it. right. does it look like him? and i feel like, honestly, dude, i don't know. i

honestly, because first of all, i know whatever magazine i'd be on would just there only you only ever see him in the bathroom. so it would i would just say all over my face and i'd be like, what is it, wednesday? and so, yeah, yeah. >> you could definitely be on like a local jersey magazine. >> 100% like a staten island, staten island advance. yes. yeah. there'd be. >> an article. article about you, and then there'd be, like, a real estate in a funeral home. ad. >> yeah. it'd be like, you know. up coming comedian chokes on pepperoni pizza on hylan boulevard in staten island. that's what it would mean. >> emily, you have so many different careers and so many different talents. where would you. where would you be? like an american lawyer. cheerleader magazine. just it caters to the lawyer slash cheerleader. >> all one of us, i think. well, i remember, okay, growing up again without the internet. we used to remember sassy magazine, of course. and then a great america. you could get

your picture taken and they would print out your face on the cover of sassy. and literally, you guys, we died for that. that was like my goal in life was. and so every time we went to the amusement parks, we would we would make them and we would also make our own. we would make our own magazines like stamps. like, that's what. >> you know who the editor of sassy was jane pratt. >> oh, yeah. >> jane. >> and she had jane magazine. >> yes, i did her very last tv show. it was terrible. oh my god. >> well, anyway. >> so you didn't answer the question. >> oh, so it would be like, i don't know, i was just saying, like. because the reality is that so many of the magazines now have been totally distorted, like i grew up. of course, i would want to say vogue, but the reality is vogue now is has been like desecrated. you know, it's not the same. there's no magazines that. >> i wish. >> we still had mad magazine because they would have you on. >> the cover with. >> the. >> tooth cap. yes. ranger rick put me on the cover of ranger rick. >> that would be my dream. >> that would be perfect. >> all right. >> bring them back. >> shut up already! don't go away. we'll be right back.

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i'm the best attorney in the country. it's different out here. people do whatever they can to win. >> oh. oh. >> now, do you trust me or not? >> damn right. >> lean back. >> boogie. a special fox. >> nation series. >> what a week it's been. >> every friday, tomi. >> lahren goes inside the top. >> moments from president. >> trump's first 100 days. >> the trump effect. >> is in full force. >> 100 days with tomi lahren fridays on fox nation. >> sign up at foxnation.com. >> qarluq i bet chris destefano, emily compagno studio. it's time, greg gutfeld i love you, america. >> good evening everyone. i'm